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Honestly, we could talk about The Four Agreements all day. If you've never read the book, we highly recommend bumping it to the top of your list. And after that, make sure you check out the follow-up...The FIFTH agreement. Who knew there was a fifth one? Who knew we even needed one?! Spoiler alert: It's brilliant. And we definitely did need this one. In fact, it's especially relevant in the information age because it will help you separate truth from lies. It will also help you connect with others with compassion and understanding rather than frustration. This is one you don't want to miss. Listen in to the Fifth Agreement... Be Skeptical, But Learn To Listen! P.S. If you don't have a copy (I've gone through probably a dozen over the years) here's a link.

It seems simple enough. You probably learned it in kindergarten. But somewhere along the way, things started to slip.. Just a little at first. Maybe to save some time, or just because you got distracted.   And every time you slip, it erodes a little more of your self-confidence.   The self-judgmental chatter starts to ratchet up. The power of this one simple agreement is truly profound. And while it is simple to say, "Always do your best," actually doing it is another story.   To stick to it, you'll need to understand ONE thing first... Join us as we talk about this pinnacle agreement from Don Miguel Ruiz's iconic book. Listen now.   P.S. If you don't have a copy (I've gone through probably a dozen over the years) here's a link.

My dad had this very "Dad" saying I grew up hearing. He'd say, "Never assume. It makes and ass out of u and me." Us kids always giggled at that one, but turns out, Dad was spot on. When you take a deeper look at the assumptions we make and why we make them, it's staggering. Especially when you consider that those assumptions are one of the primary causes of "ALL the sadness and drama you've experienced in your life." I mean...just...wow. Fortunately, for us, Don Miguel Ruiz takes a deep look at assumptions in his 3rd agreement, and in this episode of Illumination Podcast we open the conversation up about how this applied in our daily lives. And honestly, it's a little mind blowing, and we can't wait to share it with you. P.S. If you don't have a copy (I've gone through probably a dozen over the years) here's a link.

When was the last time your life turned upside down because someone said something bad to you?   We've all been there.   But with this one simple agreement, you never need to experience that again.   Ok, it might take a little practice, but it really is as simple as this lesson from The Four Agreements.   In part 2 of our series covering this self help masterpiece, we talk in depth about the 2nd agreement, Don't Take Things Personally.   Peace! Nick & Kisma   P.S. If you don't have a copy (I've gone through probably a dozen over the years) here's a link.

The Four Agreements is on the short list of our favorite personal development books. Every time we revisit this gem, we find new insight and clarity. And the best part? It’s so incredibly simple. If you’ve read this book before, join us for a fresh conversation. If you’ve never read this book before, considering this an invitation to dive in a real treasure trove of wisdom. Peace! Nick & Kisma P.S. If you don't have a copy (I've gone through probably a dozen over the years) here's a link.

Love songs are beautiful. And terribly dysfunctional… Look, we love a great love song (or RomCom for that matter) as much as anyone. But the truth is that the beliefs and ideas deeply embedded in our culture around love and relationships create massive stress in relationships. When it comes to having happy and healthy relationships, it’s not always so simple… One person goes through a tough time, and pulls the other into it. (We’re in this together, right?) Toxicity creeps in. Slowly our energy is drained. Managing your energy in relationships is critical to stay out of these destructive patterns, but it can seem counterintuitive because of the beliefs we’ve picked up along the way about love and relationships. There’s one technique we teach that changes the game (you can learn it here) and there is one question that we ALWAYS get… This episode sets the record straight with fresh insight and powerful tools to allow more love and create more freedom in all of your relationships. Peace! Nick & Kisma P.S. You can find Nick’s energy training at

There is a number. This number carries profound weight because... It influences every area of your life. Especially how much abundance you have- or rather, how much Abundance you EXPERIENCE, which is what really matters. Only you know what your number really is. And if you can be honest enough with yourself to get to the truth of this number, you can make amazing changes in your life in a very short amount of time. In this episode of Illumination Podcast, Kisma and Nick take a deep look at this mysterious number and how Self Love impacts the abundance you have in life. What's your number? This concludes our 3-part series on Self Love. If you missed the previous episodes go here... We'll definitely circle back around to this topic, but in the meantime, you can look forward to a fresh conversation next week. Peace, Nick & Kisma Co-Hosts, Illumination Podcast

Loving yourself- I mean REALLY loving yourself- can seem impossible. There are so many "What ifs" and "Yeah buts." If you're like most people, sometimes the conversation in your head is positive and supportive. Other times...well... There's a reason the saying "Your own worst enemy" has stuck around for so long. With a topic as big and all-encompassing as Self Love, it's helpful to break it down into pieces. That way you know where to look when things start to slide off the rails or your self-talk takes a dark turn... Listen in as Nick breaks down the Five Foundations of Self Love step-by step. Which ones need to most work for you? Stay tuned because next week we'll be taking a deeper dive into Self Love and Abundance. You know that Kisma can't wait for that one! If you missed the previous episode, "" go to get caught up.

It's a simple thing really. Your relationship with yourself impacts literally every aspect of your life. ➡️ Your sense of peace and well being ➡️ Your mental clarity and confidence ➡️ Your relationships (ALL of them) ➡️ Your prosperity and career ➡️ Even your physical health! But it's also true that you can't read the label when you're inside the bottle... That's why conversations about Self Love are so important. Tune into this episode of Illumination Podcast as we explore just how deep your relationship with yourself goes, and what you can do to put it on a positive track. Stay tuned for next week's episode to learn the Five Foundations of Self Love.

In part 2 of this series on Anger, we explore the hidden underbelly of anger... ...the vulnerable places anger protect ...the call for change and transformation ...the use and misuse of anger Under it all is one big fat lie that Anger tells us. And once you see it, you can make wonderful changes in your life WITHOUT all the conflict. In fact, you can recover an extraordinary amount of time and energy just by doing a few very simple things. In this episode you'll learn an incredibly powerful exercise to stop the cycles of anger and get into a flow of positive energy. Listen in now to learn how... Resources The make your own peace treaty, check out Nick's training here. This series was inspired by Nick's Mystic's Message series. You can read them here... The Anger Games, part 3 () The Anger Games, part 4 () Listen in on our website at http://www.illuminationpodcast.com/ink228

What's making you angry these days? Family? Political stuff? Frustrated about money or your career? Kids? Anger is a powerful energy. Yes, it can be an agent for change, but at what cost to your mind, energy and relationships?  In this 2-part series we'll break down 4 common games anger plays in our lives and how to shift it instantly.  When you're awake to the games that anger plays with your mind and emotions, you can step out of it and decide for something different.  Making positive changes in your life without the wanton destruction of Anger is a new kind of freedom and ease we wish for you.  Listen in on our website at http://www.illuminationpodcast.com/ink227

Today we're going to talk about our cats. Our little spirit animals. Here's why- maybe you're not a cat lover, but let's just face it guys. It's been a weird freaking time. And I think it's a time where we've turned towards our animals and our animals have turned towards us.  My heart breaks when I hear stories about people that adopted dogs during COVID and now they're giving them back because they're going to work, I don't want that. I want everyone to keep your dog and your cat, but our story is kind of funny.  Past Pets… For those of you that remember, we used to have a Lenny, the Boston terrier, who you might hear in some of the older episodes would be snoring in the background.  And then we had Sabrina who was one of two cats before Lenny passed. Before that there was Miles. Miles was the man. He was just the coolest. He was a king whenever Nick would be studying the morning, miles would lie down on his chest and just stare at him legs sort of like, claiming you and taking on the wisdom as much as he could through osmosis, I guess.  No. More. Pets... No more animals for a while. I like, ah, so a couple months go by and it's the end of February. And all of a sudden I'm like maybe a cat, maybe a cat. You know, I started hearing those voices and I start looking and I started kind of manifesting. I opened up and started looking for adoption, you know, rescue centers, obviously Hello Kitty… Kisma (): So I open up and there is , which is a great place and Rancho Santa Fe. And there's this picture of one cat. And there were a lot of dogs, one cat named Pecan, little black and white tuxedo. I'm like, that's my girl. She's my cat.  I'm like, you don't understand. That's my cat! Then Nick starts looking, all of a sudden, there's a cat named Merlin who comes out of nowhere. Kisma had her process to go through… Nick (10:30) So let's I want to back up here for just a quick second, just to be clear. I was letting you go through your process. Like, I could hear you going through your process. In my mind, there was zero doubt that we were going home with both cats. Kisma  I think he was trying to pull one over on me guys. Nick I know you just, I know you just weren't there yet. And I was okay with that and you're going, well, maybe we'll just get Merlin cause he'll be gone. And then the other one I'm like huh. Yeah, yeah. Let's start there. But in my mind there was absolutely no doubt ever that we're going home with two cats. Lesson from our cats... So I guess the whole purpose of this episode. So I'll let you know what's up with our cats. And patience, and it's sort of like Pecan is demonstrating this "when I'm ready. I'll let you pat me until now. I'm not." And I think that’s something we can all look aa like, when we're ready, we're going to do what we're going to do. But it's our ready. Right. It's not somebody else's ready. Nick (): Yeah. You can't really force it. You know, to me, it's always it's that. It's like the patience to just let her be and come to it in her own time. And that, that steadfastness of just loving all over her, you know, wherever she is, how I feel like that's a really, it's easier to do it for pets than it is for people, but it's also something that we really, really, really need to do for people.  I think now's the time, you know, some people they just aren't ready to take their step. They're not ready to, put down their woobie that's making them feel safe and comfortable.  I talk about in the self-love course all the time. It's a great quote by Mr. Rogers. And he talks about the people who loved us into being.  When I read that, I was like, that's it, you know, it's just, it's about loving one another into being and the patience that it takes to do that. And I think about that with people. And I think about it with projects and things that are important to us and like, like all those sorts of things, like they take time, nature takes time. And when we give, give it the time and the space to really like, love it into being and, everything comes along so much faster and she's making strides Let’s see some furry photos… Post in the comments. If you’re on our website@illuminationpodcast.com. And I think you can even put attachments on there, attach a photo to your fuzzy little dinky little pet site. I just want to see them all.

In this episode we discuss what to do when you finally have some space. 00:02:35 - Empty Space Well, this is something I definitely noticed with myself is, you get that empty space and there's usually like a sigh of relief. Yeah, man. You know, maybe something got canceled or, you know, a meeting got canceled or something shifted and it's like, oh, now I don't have to do that thing. And whew, man, it's like sigh of relief for a second. But immediately the mind is like, well, what am I going to fill it with?  NICK I don't even know that the mind go. I feel like it's sort of this subconscious, you start just filling or maybe yeah, because there's a nervousness, like there's space. When am I going to do? And then at least if I'm not grounded or anchored, I'll just start all of a sudden floating around the house and walking outside and picking a plum and coming back in and just like things that don't need to happen right then and there. And before, you know, an hour's gone. KISMA 00:004:00 - What is taking space? So describe what is taking space.  KISMA Well, I mean, to, to me in the truest sense of it taking spaces, like I'm not going to, I'm just not going to do anything.  NICK I'm just going to be with myself.  KISMA I'm just going to like sit and be a maniac, you know, and be with myself. NICK Just like be with my feelings, my thoughts, my body, my energy, that can be incredibly uncomfortable for people.  KISMA  It's really, it's really a weird experience, I think, you know, and how I put it in the message, you know, is like pure perception. NICK 00:05:35 - Not that easy It's it's, it's, it's actually not that easy.  NICK No, we're so used to being distracted. Yes. And then, then there's a feeling like, well, I should be doing something, so I'm taking space, but I'll read this book or I'll devour this book or something that man just being with ourselves. And it's interesting because we're the ones, you know, between our ears, we are with ourselves 24/7, we are with ourselves more than any other human yet to just be and have that space can feel so uncomfortable. KISMA 00:07:25 - Practices, Tips & Tools So what about some practices, some tips, some tools for people to just be, where do they start?  KISMA It's a little hard to instruct because it's, you know, it's the opposite of doing anything. NICK Right.  KISMA That you have to actually like make a decision to just do nothing.  NICK What would one possibly feel, or what can they expect when they enter this decision of I'm just going to sit and be for five minutes a day.  KISMA Well, that's a really interesting question because, um, I think it could be like, really, really, I know in myself, like I have really different experiences of that. You know, sometimes it's like really relaxing and just like, you know, kind of  NICK getting cosmic. KISMA Yeah. And then other times it's, there's, you have some really deep insights from that space. You know, other times you just kinda just feels like a sigh of relief, you know? So I, I can't really say, you know, but all I can say is like, you gotta try it, just try it for yourself. NICK 00:09:27 - When one takes space Well, I think when one takes space and you're able to just be, that's when the intuition starts to come in, like there's just there's quietude and it might take, it might take some practice or it might just happen automatically for people's like, yeah, I'm just going to make that decision. I'm just going to be bit without the noise, without leaning in and having to do something, you're going to feel the connection that is there anyways, with your intuitive channel, with your spiritual channel, it's just, there is that space and depth for you to start to hear a start to know or start to receive. KISMA 00:12:35 - Anytime So before we sign off choice decision to take the space, is there a certain time of day that you recommend?  KISMA No. Anytime, anytime. Cause it doesn't have to be a lot, like five minutes will, it can seem like an eternity.  NICK  So perhaps it would be like the taking space challenge five minutes a day.  KISMA Yeah. Anytime, anywhere like you can just sit on a park bench and just be, you can be that weirdo. Who's just sitting there looking at the tree. NICK I think back in the day. That's what people did, like we're on our phones and we're eating and we're doing all sorts of crazy things.  KISMA Yeah. You see people it's like I say, I always crack up at that meme when I, whenever it floats through my feet, you know, it's like I was in a coffee shop and I saw this guy sitting there just drinking a cup of coffee, like a maniac, like, like people don't do that, you know, just go somewhere and just drink a cup of coffee, you know? NICK 00:15:43 - Do Nothing So five minutes a day. Doesn't matter what time everyone just sit and be with yourself.  KISMA Yeah. Yeah. One, try it in the middle of the day.  NICK Yeah. I bet there'll be a renewed energy for the rest of the day.  KISMA Try, you know, you can try it in the morning. Like that might be a little easier to start and don't meditate. NICK Don't meditate, you know, just, you're not meditating. Don't go to God, let God come to you.  KISMA Oh, dang Kimsa. My mic drop right there. Yeah. I like that. Um, you're not meditating. You're not reading or studying. You're not contemplating. Is it like none of it's really. I mean, what I like just do nothing. NICK

In this episode we discuss How To Be Extraordinary. 00:02:00 - Perception Perception is everything. Yeah.  KISMA Those can be the days that you look back on two and you're like, dang, you know, I really handled that.  NICK I handled it. It was cool. Which leads us to the topic of extraordinary. I think it is someone who faces each and every day and makes it the best day. I think being extraordinary doesn't mean that you're, you know, it is extraordinary to climb Mount Everest. It is extraordinary to make a billion dollars or a hundred million or 10 million or whatever. Like there's so many things that we think are extraordinary.  But in actuality, when we were talking about this episode, I think the realization came for us that when a person is their authentic, clean and clear self, that is extraordinary. KISMA 00:04:00 Out Shine And I honestly think, I honestly think that there's, there's beliefs built around that that say, well, it's not okay for you to out shine. You're not worthy of doing that. Who are you to, to really, you know, to shine that? Well, you're not, you know, you're nothing special, you know, like extra anything from whatever got programmed in there. I think those things kind of cover that up, but deep down, I really do think that people have a natural, a natural draw or a natural desire to really express themselves in an extraordinary way, extra express their nature, you know, their nature.  NICK To be true to their selves. KISMA 00:07:00 - Following Your Own Path So just to kind of make sure we're anchoring this in, because I think it, our version of extraordinary is yeah, you can move a mountain. Yeah. You can make millions of dollars. You can run a marathon every single day. It's when you really tap into your true self-expression and creativity, that extraordinary it's like that it's going to light up inside you, that you feel extraordinary because you're stepping out of every perceived box and limitation and you're taking your life and deciding for yourself, like we talked about in the last episode, there's an element of trust and you're living it. And when you look at that, someone who does that up against all the odds of what the world is telling us to do, or trying to get us to, you know, comply to, or be a, like following your own path outside of any box outside of anybody else's opinions, beliefs. That's extraordinary. KISMA 00:11:30 - Just Drop It Because then whatever you do, whoever you're being is way more authentic. You're just like the fierce guy to me, that's always the freedom point, right. Because I see when people don't make, you know, their big leaps or decisions or whatever, because they're, they're hedging their bets around what people are going to think or what if they fail or this or that. So just drop it. And that will allow you to not only feel, but really be extraordinarily authentic.  KISMA I agree.  NICK I sleep so much better at night.  KISMA Maybe not at first.  NICK Maybe not at first, but once it's dropped, man. Yeah, for sure.  KISMA Because there's a, there's a process to that. People ask me, well, how do you do that? How do you do you know, like, how do you do it is the wrong question to begin with. NICK 00:16:00 - Be Impeccable With Your Word What's one more that you would add in?  KISMA Well, as long as we're on the four agreements there, um, be impeccable with your word is always a really good one, but be impeccable with your word with yourself.  NICK I love that. I love that. That means that when you promise yourself, you're going to geek out, you're going to have fun. When you say I'm not going to care what anybody thinks or, you know, when you choose to do something like you're impeccable with your word, you, you do it for you. You stick with your word.  KISMA Yeah.  NICK That's amazing. KISMA

In this episode we discuss Redefining Normal. 2:48 Venturing Out So today we're talking about redefining normal and this really was inspired by a conversation we were having. I was mentioning how,  going out into the world now that things are opening up. I mean, they've been opening up for awhile, but I think we've started venturing out more than usual.  KISMA I'd say that's fair.  Nick I even took a trip. I flew across the country, and it was fine, but it's just, it's a little bit sensitive. And so my go-to is like, well, I can just be inside the house and be a hermit and work from there and teach from there and coach from here, you know, like everything. KISMA 3:48 What happens to those three bodies? Many people can resonate with that idea of like, well, let's just stay home and feel all cuddly and cozy and safe and never go out again.  KISMA I think I even more so have that tendency of like being the home body.  Nick Yeah you’re more hermity than I am, but I've grown into being quite the hermit over COVID.  KISMA Yeah. I think there's that part of your nature too. That's just like, yeah, we're good. We got everything that we need right here. Nick And we do, I'm so grateful. But then what does that mean for, you know, if we just look at three pieces, your mindset, your physical body and the energy body. If we're not actually out in the world, mindset and you know, emotional body, but if we're not out in the world interacting and being with other humans, what happens to those three bodies? You look at the mental, emotional and the physical and the energy bodies. KISMA 6:40 The inertia sets in So long as you're getting some fresh air and things like that, do all your exercise, you can maintain your body. Like you can do all that stuff. You can maintain a really great immune system in that way and really great health. But you have to make concerted efforts to do it. Well, you know, what we saw over the past year is that certain people did that and certain people didn't. We're not making any of it right or wrong, but you know, people went through their own thing around it and some people got super fired up. We decluttered the whole house. I learned how to cook a lot better, you know, like all sorts of things and, and other people drank a lot and just really kind of closed up in their holes. In TV, again, for all different reasons and we're not making any of it wrong, but that has obviously the physical effect and that inertia sets in. Nick 11:52 Self-trust Not knowing who to trust and that erodes a self-trust. And so now it's like entering back into the world and the trust isn't really there. And I think ultimately, you know, cause I want to give our listeners some tips on how to reboot the whole system so you can have your normal and it's healthy for you. I think self-trust is a really good place to start because if you're not trusting yourself, you won't really know what your true normal is, what a healthy normal is.  KISMA That’s right.  Nick So maybe it's spending five to fifteen minutes every day, just kind of anchoring into your core values, your beliefs, whether it's affirmations, whether it's Nick's meditations or my meditations, but to really get centered, you know, for us, it's like, or at least for me, I'd be like connect to Source, connect to God, connect to Universe, remember who you are as this spiritual being, and really bring in that so that you can trust yourself as a human being again, then you can start to trust the world outside or at least trust that you can navigate it. KISMA 16:39 Dysfunction can be very normal I think those are things that are really important. Cause a lot of things are very normal, dysfunction in family is extremely normal. But is that the kind of normal that we want? Nick Exactly.  KISMA And you see it from family to family, like, remember when you were a kid and you know, you do dinner at your house, the way that you do it. And then you go over to your friend's house and it's like radically different. That's like one normal versus another. Nick 18:07 New Normal So when I think about a new normal, I think about it kind of in terms of, well what's really that conducive environment for myself, that's going to help me thrive, help me be more of me and help me do the things that I'm here to do.  Nick That's right. Get to what you want, what you want to do while you're here and create the normal reverse engineer. I like it.  KISMA

In this episode we are talking about The Most Important Thing that No One Wants to Talk About. 1:16 This is Important for Your Journey We're talking about something important that nobody wants to talk about, but if you're on any sort of spiritual journey, personal growth journey, success journey, you got to get this under control. KISMA If you just want to be a little bit happier, this is actually really important for that too. Nick 2:18 The Role it Plays What we're talking about today is shame and the role that it plays in our lives and also how to really start acknowledging it and dealing with it in our lives in a healthy way. Nick Even if we're running little seeds of shame, or vibrations of shame, it pulls us down. KISMA It ties in really closely with guilt and the guilt mechanism to control behavior. So it's a mixed message to start with and the shame is something that's put on to suppress you. Nick 6:47 It’s a Big Deal It's a big deal.  I think one of the first steps in just kind of understanding this is recognizing that basically everybody has some level of this and the degree to which you have will determine just how suppressed certain parts of you are and how suppressed your personality is.  Nick 8:33  What is Shame? Shame is the thing that we use that covers up and suppresses our personality. It's the mask that we put on to hide those parts and to show to the world what we have decided for ourselves is good and worthy of showing to the world. It covers up our humanness and when you cover up your humanness, you never have a chance to get to the essence of your being because you just can't face it. Nick So self love is a long way off and true love from another human is impossible. KISMA Well, yeah, because they're not really loving you. They're loving what little pieces of yourself you've decided to show them. Nick 12:26 Losing What is Not True How does this relate them to this spiritual journey of exiting out of this shame?  KISMA The real essence of a spiritual practice, in my mind, is not about getting anything, but it's about losing everything. Nick  It's about losing what is not true. KISMA Yeah. That's what it's really about. Nick 16:24 True Self If you have shame around just the way you are as a human being then you're going to make it wrong and then you're going to cover it up and then you're going to try to be different. And that's the worst thing that you can do because it takes you further away from the essence and the truth of who you are. You're never going to get to the essence and core of your spiritual being by trying to be somebody else. Nick I think as we go through this process of really finding who we are and wanting to be ourself, when we turn our shoulder against our true self or when we're on this path and all of a sudden it's like, “Oh, I'm not comfortable with that. I'm not going to look at that in me.”, it's because there's a wall of shame or layer of shame. So we miss out on this true self.  KISMA 18:36 Peace Treaty So where does everyone start removing the shame? KISMA I think there's an inherent conflict when you're trying to cover up part of yourself. And when you have shame around that, there's going to be a conflict because there's a part of you that is like trying to do the right thing and there's a part of you that's trying to not do the wrong thing, and those two things are going to fight with one another.  So when you're in that place, there is an exercise called where you go through a process of basically writing a peace treaty with yourself.  What the peace treaty does is help you to really look at yourself and recognize where you're in conflict with yourself. And basically you just stop that. You lay down the arms and you're like, “We're going to stop fighting”. And what you find is that you start to not make so much of yourself wrong and that opens the door for you to start to have some respect for exactly who you are and where you're at right now. It's a serious endeavor in the sense that it's not just a throw away thing that you do once. Like if you're making peace, you have to be actively engaged in that process.  So it's starting to have the awareness of where the negative thoughts, the shaming thoughts, the self-defeating thoughts start to come in, where the conflict starts inside of you and then making a new decision for yourself in it.  And when you have a peace treaty written with yourself, there's a really powerful, energetic thing that happens along with that. Nick 22:51 Make The Decision I think that's a great place to start.  I'll give my tip.  When shame starts coming in, I actually talk to it.  I just say, “Yeah, we're not doing that today. We're not going to do that”. There's something really magical when you just voice. I think it's that conscious mind telling the subconscious not today. There's like a shift in that. You're making and stating a stand for yourself. And I feel like to exit shame, that's what we're doing repeatedly.  We just have to make the decision each and every day.  KISMA

This episode is about How to Win at the Game of Life. 1:08 This Game that We Call Life It's been a little bit since we podcasted. Nick And now we're back with How to Win at the Game of Life. KISMA Personally speaking, I think it's really healthy to think about life as a game because otherwise you just take it too seriously.  Nick 2:31 Play the Game Differently It's not that there aren't serious things in life. What we do with our time here on earth is important, but at the same time if we make it too important, it gets really heavy, really fast.And when you treat life like a game, you have a little bit more flexibility and you can have more fun with it. Like if you make a mistake or do something wrong, it's like, “All right, well, I guess I'll just do something different”. You can just play the game differently. You can change the rules of the game, which is fun.  We can't change the universal laws, but we can change how we act within those things. Nick 7:02 Not Losing VS. Winning So there's a difference between not losing and winning and when you put this in the game of life, I think a lot of people get into the mode of just not losing or flying under the radar so that nobody really notices and they don't stand out too much or something like that. And energetically, it's really constricting. It's like a diminishing energy that just gets smaller and smaller and smaller as you go along. It doesn't keep you in an innovative space. It doesn't let you be in a creative space and it doesn't let you access the resources that you're going to need to really propel yourself.  Nick If you're just trying not to lose, I don't know that it's heavy, but it's not exciting. KISMA 10:05 What is Winning? On the flip side of that though, what is winning?  You know, it's not winning by somebody else's definition. This is really important on how to win at the game of life because this is your life.  KISMA Think about the goals and objectives that you've designed for yourself. Not everybody else's that you've decided that seem right for you, but the things that are really true in your own heart. Nick What do you suggest are some of the qualities that people can think about and utilize to bring about a winning attitude to life? KISMA That's not something I can really answer for everybody.  You have to sit down with yourself, probably with a journal, and think about what's really important to you and what winning looks like to you. Nick  12:59 The Relationship with Yourself What are some ways of being that can really help to open up a person to see that they do deserve to win and win on their terms? KISMA The first thing that pops to mind for me is your happiness inside of yourself. In my mind, your relationship with yourself is probably one of, if not the most important thing that you can develop in your life. It's number one because that's where you find happiness, and that's where you create happiness. So I think winning is really having a beautiful relationship with yourself. Nick 18:04 Seeing The Potential  I want to add one more piece to this idea of winning the game of life. I think also seeing people in their highest and best is another way to win at the game of life. KISMA I'm really glad you brought that up. It wasn't on our original list, but man, it's gotta be on there.  Nick There's a couple reasons for this. How you're seeing someone else is how you feel about yourself. If you look at somebody and you immediately go into judgment or criticism somewhere, that's in you about yourself, otherwise it wouldn't be at top of mind. So it's a great thing to look at.  And the flip side is the more that you can see the potential in other people and opportunities, the more you see the potential in yourself. KISMA 24:04 Win at The Game of Life So there you have a few things that you can use to win at the game of life.  You can also check out Nick’s which takes you through five foundations of self-love. Thank you for listening to Illumination Podcast with Nick and KISMA. KISMA

This week's episode has a special guest: Gay Hendricks. Gay Hendricks has been a leader in the fields of relationship transformation and bodymind transformation for more than 45 years. After earning his Ph.D. from Stanford in 1974, Gay served as Professor of Counseling Psychology at the University of Colorado for 21 years. He has written more than 40 books, including bestsellers such as Five Wishes, The Big Leap, Conscious Loving and Conscious Loving Ever After, (the last two co-authored with his co-author and mate for more than 35 years, Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks). He is also a mystery novelist, with a series of five books featuring the Tibetan-Buddhist private detective, Tenzing Norbu, as well as a new mystery series featuring a Victorian-era London detective, Sir Errol Hyde. His latest book, Conscious Luck, reveals eight ways to change your fortunes through the power of intention. Gay has appeared on more than 500 radio and television shows, including Oprah, CNN, CNBC, 48 HOURS and others.  Hosts: Nick and Kisma Special Guest: Gay Hendricks 1:44 Welcome Dr. Gay Hendricks to Illumination Podcast I'm so excited to have Gay Hendricks as a guest today. We've studied and talked about his work. We covered his work in a four-part series at the beginning of last year, and we are just so incredibly excited to have him join us in this episode. Nick Welcome Dr. Gay Hendricks to Illumination Podcast. We're so happy you're here. KISMA Thank you very much. It's a pleasure and an honor to meet both of you. Dr. Gay Hendricks 2:16 Initial Awakening We've been watching some of your interviews and there was one where you had shared something about your initial awakening, and I was wondering if you would share that event with our listeners because it was so compelling and gave me so much hope. KISMA Absolutely. I wouldn't be here without that event having happened.  When I was 24, I had managed to create a pretty painful life, because I not only weighed 320 pounds, but I wore big thick glasses. I was in a relationship that was really toxic and I couldn't figure out how to get out of it. I was also in a job that wasn't going real well, and I didn't feel like I was using any of my potential.  So one day everything came to a head. I went out for a walk to try to get my head cleared after I'd had an argument with Linda, the woman I referred to. And by golly, I got it cleared big time. What happened was I stepped on a place where the snow had covered the ice and my feet shot out from under me. And I went down on my back and I didn't knock myself out, but I call it an out of Hendrix experience because I had this experience that knocked me out of my senses for about two or three minutes. It knocked me out of my usual way of looking at the world. I laid there and I had this amazing thing happen for about two minutes where I got a look at who I really was. It was like I could see all the way down through the different levels of myself. Dr. Gay Hendricks 5:36 Pure Consciousness In that moment I suddenly became aware of this whole different set of levels of myself. But then the really magical thing that happened was that I realized that down underneath everything was this part of myself that I call pure consciousness. I'd never touched into it before, but it's the part that we all have of ourselves. And it gave me a new place to come home to.  So I had this one moment before I got back up where I said “I'm going to do whatever it takes to feel that pure consciousness all the time”, because it was the first time I felt like I'd really come home in myself. Dr. Gay Hendricks That's an amazing story.  Do you think everyone has this opportunity for that? The sense of feeling and seeing and being aware of that pure consciousness within us? KISMA  I actually do.  The way I put it to my students now is the Universe is totally willing to tickle us with a feather to teach us, but if we're not paying attention, it'll then hit us over the head with a sledgehammer.  Dr. Gay Hendricks 15:19 Essence I wanted to circle back about this idea that I’ve heard you talk about a little bit. It's the essence, like the purest pure consciousness, and I'm curious to hear your perspective on that. Nick What I call essence is that pure part of ourselves that expresses who we really are. If you took that away, you wouldn't be you. I think that it's a gift that everybody has that kind of pure consciousness.  The value of it that I've come to really appreciate is that it does give me a place to come home to that's underneath all the phenomena of my life. It's underneath the thoughts, it's underneath all my feelings. All of those things are very important, but for example, you have sad feelings or angry feelings or scared feelings, but underneath that is that vast ocean of pure consciousness. And I think that in life, our kind of our spiritual job is to find that aspect of ourselves and open up to it and let ourselves be grounded and centered in it.  Dr. Gay Hendricks I love the word essence for it. The essence of that very unique, purest expression of yourself. And I love the way that you talk about it's like that place to come home to because it's not a feeling. It's a state of being that we drop into and it just changes everything. Nick 36:21 The Big Leap and The Genius Zone So in your book , you mention the genius zone and I understand that you have a new book coming out where you're going to expand on this. Can you tell us a little bit more about this book?  Nick  Basically it takes what's in and gives you a way of diving right down into your genius zone. So it's kind of like instead of flying the plane to your genius zone, it gives you a very nice parachute, a way to just go straight down and capture it. There are some processes in the book that give you a real quick way of getting into that space and how to stay there once you're there.  Dr. Gay Hendricks Would you consider The Big Leap a prerequisite for it, or can people just dive right into The Genius Zone? Nick It would be great if they read The Big Leap first because it's kind of a sequel.  Dr. Gay Hendricks 47:55 Five Wishes Well we don't have guests a lot and when we do they're so special such as yourself. A question that I always like to ask is is there anything that's in your heart that you want to do before you leave the planet that you've not told anybody? KIMSA I can't really think of anything. I figured out early on what I wanted.  In my book , I talk about the five things that I wanted to create in my life and I've created them more beyond my wildest dreams. So I have to say if the Universe needs me in the collective anytime soon I'm ready and willing to go. I'm having a great time while I'm here, but I've accomplished all my major goals and I'm just enjoying living more and more of them every day. Dr. Gay Hendricks I love that. That's the best.  Nick Well thank you so much for being here Dr. Gay Hendricks. KISMA

In this episode we are talking about How to Give Feedback to Close Friends and Partners Without Seeming Critical. 3:45 Giving and Receiving Feedback I think it is a real skill to be able to give feedback in a really clear way. Nick And of course, on the other end, you really have to have the skin to take it and use what's valuable and if you disagree with it, you let it go. KISMA 4:52 It’s a Human Thing So I could make this episode really short and just say don't give feedback.   Like, why do you think it's up to you to give feedback?  Let’s start here because it is kind of this weird phenomenon that we humans go around life feeling that we need to tell people our thoughts without being asked. So everyone just take a breath there. It's a human thing where we go around feeling like we have to tell people our thoughts and opinions about them without being asked.  KISMA I didn't expect that to be your first one, but I think you're right. Nick 7:50 Opt Out or Opt In Well I think the starting point is to not make somebody wrong and check yourself. Who are you to give the feedback? We have to go there because otherwise it starts to get really messy. It gets messy karmically, it gets messy ego wise. And there's a lack of respect for the other person.  And then if you think there's something that they are doing, saying, or being, and you really feel like you can help, you've got to ask permission to share. You simply have to respect the human enough to ask permission.  KISMA I think giving people an opt out or an opt in is really helpful. It goes back to the art of allowing which is so important. Nick 10:18 Start With One Thing Once they’ve given you permission to share, you probably have a list of 10 things that you could tell them, but start with just one thing. KISMA That is brilliant advice. It's so easy to over teach overshare, give them a whole litany of things or a whole five step plan, but think about how you would receive that. It’s kind of overwhelming. Nick And all of a sudden it all goes out the window. KISMA 13:00 Cut Cords and Let Go After sharing, cut cords and let go. That's the biggest piece.  KISMA 17:30 Do They Even Want Your Feedback? I want to share one more thing before we close out this episode on giving feedback. There are moments when I am listening to certain friends or family members I will stop and say, “Hey, before you get going, do you want me to just listen? Am I just a sounding board because you need to vent? Or do you want my opinion?” Finally, if they said they just want to vent and they vent and I sense something is really off, I can then say, “Hey, I'm sensing something. I'm hearing something. If you're interested, I could share. And it doesn't have to be today, but I have a couple of ideas. So just let me know when you want me to text those over to you or have another quick call.” KISMA That's so cool.  A lot of folks are living life in problem solving mode. So it's really easy to drop in with that when sometimes people just need to be heard. If they just want to vent, it takes off so much pressure because you don't have to solve anything. And if they want to hear your feedback then you get to drop in in a different way and really listen with different ears.  Nick  So there you are everyone.  Thank you for listening to Illumination Podcast with Nick and KISMA.

This episode is about three skills to be successful without burning out. These skills can be used in a lot of different ways and these principles apply in a lot of different areas.  1:16 These Skills are Valuable This is really Nick’s system and it is three skills to be successful without burning out. KISMA These principles apply to anybody who is busy in their life, an active person, and anyone who has a lot of different irons in the fire.  These are skills that are definitely going to be really valuable for you. And if you want to be able to do things without the constant ups and downs and getting burned out and just wanting to quit, then these are three skills that you really do have to master in order to do that on a sustained level and stay in your creative flow. Nick 3:10 Changing Gears Without Energy Bleed First things first is you do have a lot of things going on and likely certain pieces of it are happening in the same day. So you have to master the art of changing gears from one thing to the next and to do that without energy bleed. Nick Energy bleed is what happens when people multitask or they're trying to focus and do different things all at once. KISMA Multitasking is one of the worst things you can do for your brain by the way, and for your work for that matter, like that is not how we were designed.  If you don't change gears really cleanly to go from one thing over to the next thing, your brain is going to be lingering in the technical stuff of the previous project. So learning how to change gears really cleanly is so important. And when you do that you give yourself an opportunity to actually be fully present with the next thing. Nick 6:58 Cut Cords and Stay Grounded It is also important to make a clear transition from one thing to the next thing.  Energetically, one of the most powerful tools for that is cord cutting because it helps you to detach from the energy of that. Nick Cut the cords in between. What else can they do to quickly and swiftly and seamlessly change gears? KISMA You have to stay grounded.  You'll be the most clear and powerful force in the room, or in a project if you stay grounded and clear and don't get swept into all the chaos and the weird. You can access my training for cord cutting and staying grounded Nick 9:43 Decide Without Fear Step number two is to make fast decisions and to do that without fear Nick Decide quickly and without fear. KISMA The reason that that's important is because if you have a bunch of things going and you're caught in the in-between of indecision, like not really sure about this, not really sure about that, then you're going to wind up with open loops and all of your projects will grind to a halt. So, it's really necessary to make fast decisions and not to bring all the fear into it.  Nick 16:05 The Art of Allowing Step three is a big one, but it's super key. It's mastering the art of allowing. Nick I feel like that pertains to so many things. KISMA It does.  And the reason that it's important in this context is because we put ourselves at the center of everything as the doer the things and then it really quickly becomes “I alone am the doer”. So there's this kind of grabbing of control. And when we do that we basically constrict the energy that we have.  So the art of allowing is you do the thing and then you let it go so that it can kind of grow. And then you have to wait for your next step.  Nick There has to be space to receive. KISMA 22:03 The Three Skills Just to wrap up, here are the three skills to be successful without burning out.  Number one, learn to change gears quickly and seamlessly without energy bleed. Step number two, decide quickly, and clearly without fear. Step number three, master the art of allowing.  KISMA