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The research: 2017 – 3 part research project – confirmands, young adults (2000+), focus groups YA Relationships Count available for free - https://www.cph.org/p-34106-relationships-count-engaging-retaining-millennials-ebook-edition.aspx   Other research available: Fuller Youth Institute Sticky Faith Research https://fulleryouthinstitute.org/stickyfaith/research   Barna Trends in Youth Ministry: https://www.barna.com/research/the-priorities-challenges-and-trends-in-youth-ministry/   Goal: Youth can name five people who walked with them. know their name know several things about them check in with them outside of programs     What elements make up a supportive relationship? Retaining the relationship over time Caring in joys and sorrows Christ-centered example of living out faith in life Openness to letting them walk with you through life preparing for transitions and responding to crisis Cloud of witness, varied perspectives     What is missing for youth and young adults if they don't have supportive relationships in their lives outside their family members? Being seen and heard, listened to – being a mirror to the value God has for them People to identify their gifts, skills, and passions sacrificial love and knowledge of the truth Bringing law and gospel to them in the most accurate way     What are some ways adults can nurture relationships with teens? How do those relationships change and grow as those teens enter young adulthood? Champion for youth – church workers and invested lay people Find the young people Foster connection – find ways to maintain relationships into adulthood   Ways to keep the relationship going - More than one touchpoint, keep coming back Makes things special around transitions still Re-opening mindfully with value-added   Who was there for you?

with guest Heather Ruesch Focus: We grow not just in knowledge of God, but when we remember who God is and what He’s done for us.   Which are you more comfortable with in your relationship with God: knowledge or experiences?   God is omniscient. Psalm 139:4 Where do you see the evidence that God knows us wholly or altogether?   God is interested. God sees the details. Psalm 139:3 Name a Scripture story that helps you remember God has the whole plan, our whole path, before Him   God is near. Psalm 139:5 What kinds of things in life help us remember our dependence on God?   Find Heather here: http://www.heatherruesch.com/ Find all the Always Growing segments on lifespan development and Psalm 139 here: https://heidigoehmann.com/blog    

Special guest: Darcy Paape, director of the Women’s Leadership Institute at Concordia University Wisconsin and author of Someone to Walk With   What is mentoring? Intentional Organic Being willing to share both strengths and weaknesses Creating relationships and creating spaces   What is the person looking for? Examples: Affirmation? Coaching? Evaluation? Someone to listen?   Building blocks of mentoring: Humility & Willingness Cross-generational mentoring examples: Elizabeth and Mary Ruth and Naomi   Building blocks of mentoring: Communicating & Commitment Finding a mentor God with us in the challenges Identify the ally or sweeper to help you connect to someone   Resources: Someone to Walk With by Darcy Paape - https://amzn.to/3mhC09P Someone to Walk With Facebook Page - https://www.facebook.com/someonetowalkwith Thanks for the Feedback - https://amzn.to/2LBgTCI The Reluctant Witness: Discovering the Delight of Spiritual Conversations - https://amzn.to/3oN4WrV University of New Mexico – Mentoring Institute + Conference - https://mentor.unm.edu/ Wake Forest University – Mentoring Resource Center - https://mentoring.opcd.wfu.edu/ Women’s Leadership Institute Mentoring Workshops - http://wlicuw.org/ darcy.paape@cuw.edu

What playgrounds do you remember being in your life as a kid?   Purpose of playgrounds Purpose of Being   Being + doing is the goal, holding both together   God’s relationship to being Examples in Scripture   Colossians 3:23-24 Colossians 3:17   God’s relationship to doing Examples of Scripture   Mary and Martha in all of our lives   In what ways are you being with God? In what ways are you doing for/with God?

Sense of worth = an internal awareness that as created creatures of God we have value How does God’s delight in us inform our sense of worth? Concept of mutual delight, God to us and us to God   Struggle with worth - Delight is not determined by what I do. Seeing our worth based on our relationships with people Worth based on what we do or my performance   Engaging in God out of response playing from delight v playing for it what is our vantage point of God? Father of Love v. Father of Judgement   Our worth within the narrative of God’s plan: Creation to New Creation   Holding the tensions of life together to see God’s delight is still with us in difficult things: repentance and delight the now and not yet   Justin’s book – Delight! Discipleship as the Adventure of Loving and Being Loved: https://amzn.to/2HDOzxm* *this is an affiliate link

Episode 7 – The Truth about Mental Health: Hope Special guest: Tanner Olson, aka Written to Speak   Get to know Tanner Why is hope so important for our mental health and for our relationships? Hope changes the narrative Hope as the bridge between mental health and our relationships The power of sharing narrative Sharing hope on the internet   Hope with words Hope without words   Honoring the heavy to get to the hope Sitting alongside someone in the back and forth of sharing brokenness and hope Finding Joy in our smallness before God   Poetry Break: Somedays     Searching for a definition of Hope Big H hope and small h hope Big and small spaces for sharing hope   Poetry Break: Stay   What are the tiny things of life that give us hope? What’s your confetti cake?   Find out what their Star Wars, or their Space Jam, or their confetti cake is   Poetry Break: As You Go + pg. 57   Find Written to Speak: https://www.writtentospeak.com/ https://www.facebook.com/writtentospeak https://www.instagram.com/writtentospeak/ https://twitter.com/writtentospeak

With Special Guest, Sue Steege Director of Christian Education, transformation and discipleship ministry focus Goal – making it safe and doable for parents to be faith growers Moving from Wow to Win How can I set up a win for a parent to transmit the faith? How can I set up a safe way for parents to feel successful in sharing their faith? What opportunity can I set up for families to participate in faith together? Contribution: Allowing and creating opportunities for contribution Follow up with those in the communities What opportunities can we offer for kids to be able to contribute? What do kids have to contribute? Vulnerability: How do kids open us to the heart of God? Engaging other adults in teaching kids to form many supportive relationships Extending invitations continuously Walking through hard times in life together Attachment, brain science, and faith Ideas from Sue: Use the Bible App to teach parents to lead a family devotion Goodnight with Sue and Zanmi, teaching parents to give a blessing - https://youtu.be/K9OY5H9Q4eQ Give kids space to worship Prayer partners during worship Prayer parties with blankets Resources: Just a Phase – OrangeBooks The Other Half of Church - https://amzn.to/2FzpItG Kindling the Heart Family Devotions - https://amzn.to/3mt4izB (*amazon links are affiliate links)

Did you have a stuffed animal or a “lovie” growing up? What was your relationship to the lovie?   What do stuffed animals do for kids? What can stuffed animals teach us about Jesus?   Comfort – a physical reminder of the abstract comfort we need as kids a sense of power and agency with something that is smaller than them Representation of the abstract, sometimes hard to access, comfort Jesus brings             2 Corinthians 1:3-5 Sensory input, but also knowledge we can seek out what we need Comfort for fears   Companionship - Knowing we aren’t alone, something to hold but also a special friend Physical thing, but also powerful Representative of the compassion of Jesus             Feeding of the 5000 (Matthew 14) Representative of the gentleness of Jesus             Palm Sunday, riding in on a donkey (Matthew 21)             Let the little children come to me (Matthew 19)

Marriage as a Process…Not a Product What kinds of things in life do you want instant fruit or instant rewards? What kinds of things would you like your spouse to just know about you? Read Ephesians 4:11-16. Where do you see truth and love alive throughout the timeline of your marriage? What does the process of healing or forgiveness look like in your marriage? Wellness Exercise: Open the conversation in your marriage around this discussion: How have we grown since last month? YouTube Video Link: https://youtu.be/6lDHfC5xBjU Find all the Always Growing videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCryz1QG5wDu1HWaapevYFOIUiwXEm1IC Find more marriage and relationship resources at: https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships Follow us on social media: https://www.facebook.com/heidigoehmanwrites https://www.instagram.com/heidigoehmann/ https://twitter.com/HeidiGoehmann Hit subscribe to get the marriage conversations in your podcast or YouTube feed. Download the Talk Sheets under "Resources on Marriage" at https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships  

Special Guest: Matt Schuler, pastor and friend   What is trust? Heidi’s definitions of trust: https://heidigoehmann.com/blog/always-growing-what-is-trust   Designed for trust in God Proverbs 3:5-8   Trust impacted by brokenness Psalm 28:7   Is God trustworthy? Cultural norms Boundaries and trust Dare to Lead elements of trust - https://amzn.to/3kH7bf5 (affliate link)   Walking forward with trust wounds   Find more resources on trust, mental health, and genuine relationships at heidigoehmann.com

12 Days of Physical Touch What are the purposes of physical touch in marriage? What are the benefits of physical touch in marriage?   How do physical touch and sexuality change in different stages of marriage?   Name a time your partner comforted you with physical touch.   What difference in capacities for physical touch do you and your spouse have, if any?   Wellness Exercise: Read Matthew 19:13-15. Consider how love, affection, and belonging is communicated in your household? In what ways is physical touch a part of this communication, and what one idea regarding touch might you add to your marriage or family relationships?   YouTube Video Link: https://youtu.be/L43RiUi8bzw   Find other Always Growing videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCryz1QG5wDu1HWaapevYFOIUiwXEm1IC   Find more marriage and relationship resources at: https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships   Follow us on social media: https://www.facebook.com/heidigoehmanwrites https://www.instagram.com/heidigoehmann/ https://twitter.com/HeidiGoehmann   Hit subscribe to get the marriage conversations in your podcast or YouTube feed. Download the Talk Sheets under "Resources on Marriage" at https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships

Special Guest: Justin Hanneman, PhD, LIMHP, pastor GracePoint Relational Health https://www.relationalhealth.org/   What is attachment? “secret sauce” Trust, sense of safety, and attachment from infancy to adulthood   Sense of safety at the subconscious level Implicit memory + early relationships Definition of implicit memory = https://dictionary.apa.org/implicit-memory   Love your neighbor and a God as perfect attachment figure while we imperfectly try to love one another. “Attentive caregivers are the answer.” “We’re not always here to deliver from as caregivers, but to deliver in.”   How attachment happens: Available Capable Willing   Finding the relationships we need Two types of relationships What are our attachment needs right now in this stage of development? Paying attention to our attachment reflexes   Brain health, mental health, and attachment   Grace, self-compassion, other-compassion, and attachment   Find more resources and discussion on mental health and genuine relationships at heidigoehmann.com

Love and Respect Got to Do with It Article: https://blog.cph.org/read/everyday-faith/whats-love-and-respect-got-to-do-with-it Read Ephesians 4:32 and Ephesians 5:21. How do each verse impact the whole of how we understand love and respect within our marriages? How is respect important in a marriage? How is love important in a marriage? How do the two overlap? Which is the most challenging for you – assuming the best in your spouse, talking nicely when emotions are high, or dealing with submission in concept or reality? Wellness Exercise: How do you make decisions in your marriage? Where do you see love and respect in this process? How can you bring more love and respect, as well as grace, into this process? YouTube Video Link: https://youtu.be/xjQ2bRgJzz0 YouTube extras: Find other Always Growing videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCryz1QG5wDu1HWaapevYFOIUiwXEm1IC Find more marriage and relationship resources at: https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships Follow us on social media: https://www.facebook.com/heidigoehmanwrites https://www.instagram.com/heidigoehmann/ https://twitter.com/HeidiGoehmann Hit subscribe to get the marriage conversations in your podcast or YouTube feed. Download the Talk Sheets under "Resources on Marriage" at https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships

Why the First Year of Marriage is So Hard Article: https://blog.cph.org/read/family/first-year-marriage-stinkin-hard Radio spot: https://www.kfuo.org/2017/12/01/faf-120117-first-year-marriage-hard/   What memories do you have from your first year of marriage? Be sure to include at least one hard memory and one happy memory.   What kinds of things do you think can or do make that first year of marriage more growth-oriented?   How did you respect and create your own new family in your first few years of marriage? What would you do differently if you had it to over again?   Wellness exercise: What can you celebrate about one another today? Take turns telling your spouse three ways they make your life better.   More on leaving and cleaving: https://youtu.be/M7V5OIixM_I   YouTube Video Link: https://youtu.be/LLQe5E9mwG4   Find other Always Growing videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCryz1QG5wDu1HWaapevYFOIUiwXEm1IC   Find more marriage and relationship resources at: https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships   Follow us on social media: https://www.facebook.com/heidigoehmanwrites https://www.instagram.com/heidigoehmann/ https://twitter.com/HeidiGoehmann   Hit subscribe to get the marriage conversations in your podcast or YouTube feed. Download the Talk Sheets under "Resources on Marriage" at https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships

Treasuring Up in Marriage Read Luke 2:16-19 What kinds of things do you think Mary was pondering or treasuring up?   What kinds of things in marriages, in general, are helpful to “treasure up”?   What kinds of things can you treasure up in your own marriage? What moments are in the treasure store of your marriage?   Wellness exercise: When you look across the difficult times in your marriage or life together, consider 2-3 things that can be treasured up from those experiences together. YouTube Video Link: https://youtu.be/3_MM6Rn38j4   Find other Always Growing videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCryz1QG5wDu1HWaapevYFOIUiwXEm1IC   Find more marriage and relationship resources at: https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships   Follow us on social media: https://www.facebook.com/heidigoehmanwrites https://www.instagram.com/heidigoehmann/ https://twitter.com/HeidiGoehmann   Hit subscribe to get the marriage conversations in your podcast or YouTube feed. Download the Talk Sheets under "Resources on Marriage" at https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships

What to Do When Your Spouse Gets on Your Nerves   How do kindness and a sense of humor help when talking about difficult things or prickly things in marriage?   Read Matthew 7:3-5. What kinds of things do you think are worth discussing and getting upset about in marriage and life, and what kinds of things are not?     What is the difference between internally reflecting and responding when your spouse gets on your nerves?     Wellness exercise: Kindly discuss one thing you each do that gets on the other’s nerves and utilize the question, “Why does this bother me?” to reflect on the internal value is wrapped up in the irritability? Or consider the question, “How should we deal with this together?”     YouTube Video Link: Podcast episode: 30           YouTube extras: Find other Always Growing videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCryz1QG5wDu1HWaapevYFOIUiwXEm1IC   Find more marriage and relationship resources at: https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships Follow us on social media: https://www.facebook.com/heidigoehmanwrites https://www.instagram.com/heidigoehmann/ https://twitter.com/HeidiGoehmann   Hit subscribe to get the marriage conversations in your podcast or YouTube feed.   Download the Talk Sheets under "Resources on Marriage" at https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships

Love & Honor Your Mother-in-Law How does our culture represent mother-in-laws?   Read Genesis 2:24-25. Brainstorm any relationships impacted by leaving and cleaving and what impacts you see in your own marriage.   How can we care for one another in the family through the transition of leaving and cleaving?     Wellness exercise: Name a few ways your own marriage has been impacted in both positive and more challenging ways by in law relationships. Rejoice over the gifts those relationships have brought and pray over at least one of the ways those relationships are challenging.   YouTube Video Link: https://youtu.be/M7V5OIixM_I   YouTube extras: Find other Always Growing videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCryz1QG5wDu1HWaapevYFOIUiwXEm1IC   Find more marriage and relationship resources at: https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships Follow us on social media: https://www.facebook.com/heidigoehmanwrites https://www.instagram.com/heidigoehmann/ https://twitter.com/HeidiGoehmann   Hit subscribe to get the marriage conversations in your podcast or YouTube feed.   Download the Talk Sheets under "Resources on Marriage" at https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships

When Contempt Threatens Describe contempt in your own words. Which aspects of contempt stick out to you the most?   What does respect do for a marriage?   Consider the list of concrete ways contempt is given. Which of these strongly effect you, no matter where they are given?   Read 2nd Samuel 6:16-23. What emotions are behind Michal’s contempt?     Wellness Exercise: Watch a tv show together and watch for ways the characters show contempt in home life. Imagine ways together that they might recover from each of those moments of contempt.   Resources: Love and Respect Workbook https://www.gottman.com/blog/this-one-thing-is-the-biggest-predictor-of-divorce/   Youtube video link: https://youtu.be/_ONqehzZBEE   YouTube extras: Find other Always Growing videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCryz1QG5wDu1HWaapevYFOIUiwXEm1IC   Find more marriage and relationship resources at: https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships Follow us on social media: https://www.facebook.com/heidigoehmanwrites https://www.instagram.com/heidigoehmann/ https://twitter.com/HeidiGoehmann   Hit subscribe to get the marriage conversations in your podcast or YouTube feed.   Download the Talk Sheets under "Resources on Marriage" at https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships

Will You Fight for Me? What do you each remember most about your wedding?   In what ways do you fight for one another in your marriage?   How is forgiveness part of fighting for one another in marriage?   How do you show each other you are fighting for one another? Wellness exercise: Make a list together of three things you value together in your marriage and discuss concrete ways you fight for these things in your marriage, or new ways you can prioritize them in your marriage.   YouTube video link: https://youtu.be/hqIwmHkAyks   YouTube extras: Find other Always Growing videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCryz1QG5wDu1HWaapevYFOIUiwXEm1IC   Find more marriage and relationship resources at: https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships Follow us on social media: https://www.facebook.com/heidigoehmanwrites https://www.instagram.com/heidigoehmann/ https://twitter.com/HeidiGoehmann   Hit subscribe to get the marriage conversations in your podcast or YouTube feed.   Download the Talk Sheets under "Resources on Marriage" at https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships

Three Places to Never Argue Questions: Where have you argued and it hasn’t gone well?   When and how have you experienced struggles in arguing in any of the three places: Riding in the car In the bedroom (especially preparing for bed) In front of other adults   What value is there in letting an argument rest a bit? Why is this hard at times?     Wellness exercise: Consider what are two of your “hot button” topics that often lead to arguments in your house and use Galatians 5:13-15 to pray for these two topics.     Arguing in front of children article: https://blog.cph.org/read/everyday-faith/argue-front-children-naked-unashamed-disagreement     YouTube video link: https://youtu.be/NE90yRjctKI   YouTube extras: Find other Always Growing videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCryz1QG5wDu1HWaapevYFOIUiwXEm1IC   Find more marriage and relationship resources at: https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships Follow us on social media: https://www.facebook.com/heidigoehmanwrites https://www.instagram.com/heidigoehmann/ https://twitter.com/HeidiGoehmann   Hit subscribe to get the marriage conversations in your podcast or YouTube feed.   Download the Talk Sheets under "Resources on Marriage" at https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships