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I Know, I Need To Stop Talking... so I made a podcast
25 minutes | Jan 9, 2022
We did it!
In which we all make it through the first week in January; I tackle Dry January; Jamie is bemused by testing, and Blazer-Gate ensues; the kids and I have an emotional Saturday night; I go viral (in the non-Covid sense); we talk about the perils of parental gaslighting; Beth meets Jamie's girlfriend; I take on a building project; and my Sunday night could not be more rock and roll if it tried.
30 minutes | Jan 2, 2022
"Oh my days!"
In which New Year's Eve goes on a bit bloody long; my cats are (festive) dicks; my kids are amazing; there's controversy on the Christmas dinner front; I tell you about the kitchen gadget you never even knew you needed; Jamie shows his dark side; Beth gets VERY confused; and you guys make my absolute year.
30 minutes | Dec 19, 2021
Festive ****ing mayhem
It's the festive edition of the podcast: in which I share some of my favourite Christmas memories and traditions; life is discombobulating; my cats are (festive) dicks; Blue Peter takes a questionable approach to Health and Safety; we discuss how other people's Christmas traditions are always wrong; I hate wrapping bastard presents SO MUCH; I celebrate the brilliance of the Christmas Day Walk, and share my greatest Christmas parenting tip of all; I have a massive Christmas fail; and we talk about the things at Christmas that really matter.
23 minutes | Dec 5, 2021
"Would you like to see my episiotomy scar?"
In which I declare it to be Officially Christmas; Mr IKINTST and I attempt to write a Christmas song, and have a difference of opinion over Christmas decorations; I find myself ill-equipped to cope with the emotional rollercoaster of Christmas films; we discuss the differences of going out for the evening, pre and post children; Beth unmasks Father Christmas; and I have the worst getting ready to go out experience ever.
26 minutes | Nov 27, 2021
My cold and frosted vagina
In which my vagina is indeed cold and frosted (it's ****ing FREEZING!); we have a heated debate about the correct point in the year to put up Christmas decorations; I share with you my theatrical recommendation of the year; my mum performs an early Christmas miracle for me; Jamie lusts after a Bushtucker Trial; Beth picks up a footballing injury; and Jamie comes up with the world's weirdest Dragons' Den pitch.
25 minutes | Nov 20, 2021
Adulting Is Hard
In which we discuss the soul destroying adulting task that is "life admin"; I confess to my secret fetish; my cats are dicks, again; I tell you all about my Exciting Day Out and tick off a major item on my bucket list; yet another one of my household appliances is an utter cock; I share my self-composed joke that made Jamie weep tears of laughter; we explore all of the reasons why you really can't pour from an empty cup (or any cup at all: much better to use a jug instead); and I share an IKINTST absolute classic.
29 minutes | Nov 14, 2021
Glimpses into madness
In which I record a podcast in the midst of abject chaos; I debate a creative addition to my Christmas cake; Fanny Craddock scares me; I introduce you all to Barry; there's perhaps the most original hair-care tip you'll hear this year; and I share with you all some glimpses into the madness that is a typical day in our life, including the worst ever late night gift, why you never want to be responsible for waking Beth up, Jamie's sock-related challenges, and my outstanding prowess in pursuit of the title of World's Most Embarrassing Parent.
26 minutes | Nov 6, 2021
I SANG AT THE ROYAL ALBERT HALL!!!
In which I live out an all time dream, and sing at the Royal Albert Hall; I have one of the maddest weeks ever; my hair appointment ends in dramatic style; there is a reason that I never became a mechanic; Jamie's feet confuse him; people are bloody amazing; and both Beth and Sandwich make unexpected podcast cameo experiences, and I'm sure this kind of sh*t never happens to Proper Podcasters.
29 minutes | Oct 30, 2021
In which I get unfeasibly irritated by pumpkins; we talk about not setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves; teenagers are brilliant (unless that teenager is me); we have a somewhat dramatic trip to the vet; teenage me leaves home (teenage me is also an utter dick); my oven cleaning goes not entirely to plan; WE GO TO THE DENTIST; I get stuck in a dress (FFS); maths makes me happy; and I have a riotous Saturday night in.
20 minutes | Oct 24, 2021
In which my 40th birthday celebrations finally happen; Beth and her teams play some bloody brilliant football; I am the Embarrassing Proud Parent; we give grateful praise to the brilliant grassroots sports volunteers out there; I prove all of the reasons why I probably won't become a football announcer any time soon; we remind ourselves why comparison is the thief of joy; I discover that sometimes scaled back celebrations are the best kind of celebrations of all; me and my daddy have a Long Walk; I am hysterically reunited with my BFF for the first time in a year and a half; Jamie gets very confused by pink cheese; my oven is an embarrassment; I get the meat sweats; and Beth makes a somewhat unexpected cameo podcast experience.....
41 minutes | Oct 9, 2021
It's the last one of my 30s!
In which I record the last podcast of my 30s; I almost make a total tit out of myself at work; Covid is a dick; we celebrate the brilliance of teenagers; Beth's birthday cake nearly breaks me; and I relive some of my personal highlights of the last decade, including poo, shouting, confusing furniture, Dr Google, football football football, the world's coldest hot tub, living out childhood dreams, and of course, #celebrityflaps.
31 minutes | Oct 2, 2021
"This isn't the mouse you're looking for"
In which I get absolutely bloody soaked; we discuss the hell of a hungover Saturday morning, poolside; Beth encounters gravity; we discuss the awful murder of Sarah Everard and the changes in our society that we need to see; Jamie gets Covid, just in time for Birthday Month *facepalm*; I make a terrible confession; I reminisce over The Greatest Birthday Cake Of All; my children ruin The Greatest Birthday Cake Of All for me; I learn what Proper Podcasts are actually supposed to sound like (clue: it's nothing like this one!); and my cats are - as per - absolute dicks.
29 minutes | Sep 25, 2021
The parenting truths I wish I'd known
In which I share the truths I wish I'd known before I became a parent; my Ocado delivery goes rogue; everyone loses their shit over petrol; Google Maps and I fall out; I have to learn to let go, and am SO BAD at it; I hit peak parenting madness; I come up with a revolutionary new design for the human body; nappy changing is confusing; sleep deprivation is the pits; and I reach my parenting nirvana.
29 minutes | Sep 19, 2021
In which I share some of my most mortifying moments over the years; I get to live out an all time dream; I have an Irritating Week, and you are all bloody brilliant; I am thoroughly wound up by "fidgets"; weeing in a cup proves to be extremely difficult; Jamie performs a character assassination; I learn that pride very much comes before a fall; I confirm all the reasons that you should not take your children bra shopping; and I prove that I am an utter liability who clearly should not be allowed to Adult unaccompanied.
20 minutes | Sep 5, 2021
Going Out Out!
In which I go Out Out; my neighbours are batshit; I explain whyTop Gear probably won't be calling me up any time soon; we stay in perhaps the craziest AirBNB of all; I fail utterly to pack light; my children go feral; Jamie's PE kit is a public health hazard; and Beth gives me some painfully honest feedback.
26 minutes | Aug 28, 2021
It's hard to record a podcast with an anus in your face
In which I thank you all for being so bloody brilliant; I am That Mum; we appreciate the golden moments; Jamie lives his best life; we play Aggressively Competitive Car Games; I recall the Car Journey From Hell; Jamie is geographically challenged; and I tell you all about my cervix.
35 minutes | Aug 21, 2021
In which this podcast celebrates its one year anniversary, and I say a massive thank you to all of you for supporting it; I remember just how much I hate running; Jamie gets his head around the miracle of childbirth; I GO TO THE PROMS!; I explain why you should never, ever take Beth to the theatre; and we take a trip down podcast memory lane, including my favourite interactions with Ocado, my cats being dicks, me failing at DIY, my struggles with root vegetables, and that time with the F***ING milk *facepalm*
25 minutes | Aug 14, 2021
In which I take a trip back down memory lane to life as a teenage girl in the 1990s; I feel better and WELL, and ALIVE!!!; the children have sleepovers; we discuss the reasons why the phrase "sleep when your baby sleeps" is absolute BULLSHIT; bath pearls are weird; I manage to refer repeatedly to a "puffa jacket" as a "puffa coat", which explains all the reasons why I was never ever cool enough to wear one; the Judderman scares the bejeezus out of me; the Athena man troubles me; the English language is confusing; and the Ocado man makes my absolute day.
22 minutes | Aug 7, 2021
In which I get poorly sick; we are lucky enough to go away on holiday; Jamie reaches new levels of ineptness; I lobby for crazy golf to become an Olympic sport; there's a reason I've never become a book publicist; my children's lack of fussy eating backfires on me; we should all try to be more kind; and my cats are, as usual, utter dicks.
32 minutes | Jul 24, 2021
Bring in the Willy Blanket!
In which they finally turn down the sun; I participate in the competitive sport of Dishwasher Reemptying; teachers are amazing; Beth is scathing about my Olympics prospects; I have the least relaxing Zoom call ever; I introduce The Willy Blanket; we share reading recommendations; holidays with small children are NOT a holiday; and we embark on the HELL that is worming cats. Also, listen out for the bit where I mispronounce "kicky" to sound like "kinky", which gives a whole new meaning to the anecdote I'm telling. Face palm.
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