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I Am Idiot - the podcast
76 minutes | Oct 19, 2013
Show 100 – Lolsturbation: The Final Idiot
Join Howard, Keith and Ben for this momentous and sombre podcast that is in fact, the final I Am Idiot.So that means there will be no Street Poet, no more texting LBC, no more Impossible Choice, and no more poor sound quality vocals. But that’s ok, cos all that and more is in show 100!On the Idiot’s bucket list also is of course News, a recorded visit to the dentist, a quiz, a PowerPoint presentation on Gordon Ramsay, and some authentic lesbian erotica.After listening, you might want to spend a few minutes staring into space contemplating the end, your existence, or simply shake your head, tut, and continue with your life.So, enjoy, thanks for your support, and may your pod go with you.The Idiots x
64 minutes | Nov 28, 2012
I Am Idiot's Autumn Almanac Part Five
The best I Am Idiot ever? Is it? We think this one is. Well maybe. Keith does anyway.In this week’s FINAL I Am Idiot Autumn Almanac, we talk balls, we sing songs, we hear from Jon Bon Jovi, we reveal the truth behind a vegetable, and the genuine surprise that we have all written and published books.I Am Idiot, home of the worst Sean Connery impersonation ever.Don't forget there's more I Am Idiot on: Soundcloud Twitter @iamidiotcentral Facebook YouTube Stitcher
36 minutes | Nov 20, 2012
I Am Idiot's Autumn Almanac Part Four
Welcome to a relaxing Idiot’s Almanac as Keith, Ben and Howard take a trip to the world of the Diary Of Mrs Howard, and teach you how to chill out and the path to world peace.There’s so much in store in this week's show: The Only Way Is Essex, X Factor, hospitals, tarty girls and an impossible choice.Plus our review of Skyfall, the new James Bond movie starring Daniel Craig as James Bond in Skyfall, the new James bond movie.Don't forget there's more I Am Idiot on: Soundcloud Twitter @iamidiotcentral Facebook YouTube Stitcher
40 minutes | Nov 15, 2012
I Am Idiot's Autumn Almanac Part Three
FUDGING HELL! It’s number three of the I Am Idiot Autumn Almanacs, as Howard, Ben and The Keith arrive on the doorstep of your ear with gifts of chat.In number three we hear about which show Keith regards as “his”, and how he may be responsible for the Arab Spring.There’s feedback on the fabled Keith-o-Matic, what Ben and Howard miss about Keith when he’s not there, and his holiday. And why he’s such an idiot.I Am Idiot. We found Nemo. Keith ate him.Don't forget there's more I Am Idiot on: Soundcloud Twitter @iamidiotcentral Facebook YouTube Stitcher Tumblr
40 minutes | Nov 6, 2012
I Am Idiot's Autumn Almanac Part Two
Welcome to the second of our Autumn Almanacs, as Howard, Ben and The Keith return to discharge noise in your direction. In this week’s show there are terrible Welsh-Indo-Chinese accents, Liz Jones, Justin Lee Collins’ back cream, colon cleansing, and the time machine returns.Have you ever tried talking to the beat of the metronome? We have.Oh and before you point out it’s not autumn anymore, we know. We’re idiots anyway, so wind your neck in. Don't forget there's more Idiot on: Soundcloud Twitter @iamidiotcentral Facebook YouTube Stitcher
28 minutes | May 26, 2012
Show 83 - School News
Another I Am Idiot EXCLUSIVE as Howard’s son Alfred reports on a shocking development at his own school as he goes behind the lines in “School News”. There also part 2 in the saga of The Logbook of Starship Gemini 2 by Ben aged 91/2, which has been described as like “24 in space, as a book”.Keith comes out with news on a romantic liaison while Howard toils with pheromones. Also, how many times can you say "cat" in 10 seconds? I Am Idiot 83. We’re in detention. And we’ve got stink bombs. Watch out Bronson!
58 minutes | Dec 29, 2011
Best Bits And Outtakes Part 1
It’s the end of 2011. A year in which we’ve seen people rise up against tyrants and the global financial markets facing meltdown, so what better way to mark the end of the year by listening to the highlights of I Am Idiot, a podcast that potentially lowers your IQ every time you listen to it.However, we think just pulling together a highlights show just isn’t enough for you, the listener.No, you’ve been good, you deserve more. So we’ve included some LIMITED EDITION outtakes. Some never before heard snippets, of what are essentially mistakes.You’re a very lucky boy / girl / automated subscription on iTunes aren’t you? Well done.
32 minutes | Dec 14, 2011
Show 63 - How To Have An Instant Party
The latest I Am Idiot podcast helps you have a party all by yourself, negating the need for friends, colleagues or anyone in fact with Howard’s new Instant Party.There’s also news on panda research, surreal cleaner experiences and what people are searching for on the internet. PLUS Howard has a new song to cheer up those with mental health problems while Ben tells an amazing fact.Christmas is coming. I Am Idiot is already here. Sat at the bottom of your tree. Staring.
30 minutes | Dec 7, 2011
Show 62 - Celebrity Sex Organs Revealed
Show 62 goes intimate as Howard reveals some interesting and completely true facts about celebrity privates.There’s also a quiz (yes it’s a quiz) on a subject that will cheer you up as we enjoy a double dip recession (whatever that is).All this plus Howard’s Christmas single and news on a company that is promising not to ruin your life.I Am Idiot. Poking a funny stick in the eye of Mr Miserable.
36 minutes | Nov 30, 2011
Show 61 - Foul Mouthed Idiots
Show 61 of I Am Idiot is the swearingest show yet! And that’s quite a claim.Keith returns to join Howard and Ben as they discuss the words that are deemed bad by a Pakistan telecoms watchdog. Then there’s Keith’s powerpoint presentation on The Machine as he strives to break the far east market.Howard and Ben are set an Impossible Choice, plus we unearth an old recording that sounds strangely reminiscent of the much viewed Fenton at Richmond Park viral phenomenon.I Am Idiot; three men, one podcast, no brains.
32 minutes | Nov 23, 2011
Show 60 - Cooking For Idiots
I Am Idiot this week cooks up a fine mess of nonsense as Ben demonstrates how to make an “Idiot Surprise”. Howard takes a stab at the patented I Am Idiot Literal Visualisation Technique on another song, and there’s a message from Keith.Is it David Beckham? Or is it Andy Johnson? That’s the alluring title of the quiz this week, and we also say a big thank you to our inspirations and helpers over the last 60 shows. I Am Idiot. One of your five a day.
24 minutes | Nov 16, 2011
Show 59 - How To Ruin A Song
This week Howard and Ben demonstrate the patented “What song couldn’t be improved by using the patented I Am Idiot literal visualisation technique” by demystifying the Eagles’ Hotel California. And it's patented.There’s also round 2 of the Noisinator, and a new segment, Star Solutions, as we get the great and the good to talk about Christmas and what Elvis will do to your tongue if you cross him.And as if you weren’t exhausted enough, we talk to Paul McCartney in the final instalment of his revealing interview as he discusses Keith, The Machine and what he thinks is normal. Come on, don’t be a smunt!
29 minutes | Nov 10, 2011
Show 58 - Sergeant Plopper's Lonely Farts Club Band
The pod features another EXCLUSIVE interview as this week we chat to a very confused and confusing Paul McCartney.In Show 58 Paul discusses his views on Crazy Duck, the first I Am Idiot single, how it feels being at Idiot HQ and of course, his new amp.With no Keith this week, it’s up to Howard and Ben to marshal the forces of Idiot to the doorstep of your ear.Howard finds a fun new way to have an argument with your wife and there are jingles for things that will never happen.So pod with us. It’s marginally better than putting your face in the toilet.
34 minutes | Nov 3, 2011
Show 57 - We Need To Talk About John Terry
Check out our EXCLUSIVE interview with John Terry in Show 57 of I Am Idiot as we ask the footballer and raconteur about his life, his loves and his haircut.Howard, Keith and Ben hurtle into the globe and burst out the other side covered in sticky.We pit the selotape might of Keith’s The Machine against that of AQA. Who wins? Who cares. We also get an update on Keith’s marketing strategy for Asia.There’s also more praise for Prêt A Manger which means before you dress or ready to wear or something like that. We look at (not literally) a man who tries to turn his own faeces into gold, being raped by a wombat, John Travolta’s vampire past, wacky bacci, French fanny, and the amazing world of Danny Dyer.All this PLUS Keith turns up late and invents a new name. You lucky people.
5 minutes | Oct 14, 2011
I Am Idiot - Howard (Rage And Frustration Mix)
Here it is, the full length version of the classic I Am Idiot single "Howard".
40 minutes | Oct 13, 2011
Show 56 - Emma Watson Nude Pics
That’s right. We have them. Also, how many idiots are there on X Factor? Why are alive people better than dead people? How many more I Am Idiot podcasts will there be?Answers to these questions lie within. PLUS what are the true meanings of songs? The return of Keith's The Machine. And does Ben rap better than Clinton Cards?Show 56 is ROFL-tastic. Get some.
2 minutes | Oct 1, 2011
I Am Idiot - October Trailer
Here's a taste of what's to come in October PLUS...hang on no, that's it.
53 minutes | Sep 22, 2011
Show 55 - Rage Against The Machine
Keith’s brain makes another loop-dee-loop in this week’s I Am Idiot as we hear about his fantastical new invention; The Machine.In addition, the Idiots’ selling prowess is put to the test in a new game (not a quiz) as they audition for a shopping channel with some MUST BUYS. We rammed Nick Clegg, bad ideas, big toads, Ben Is Brilliant and Chinese pubes into one show. PLUS we announce the winner of the Great big fat stupid competition.Dare you miss it?
41 minutes | Sep 15, 2011
Show 54 - World Of Idiot
Show 54 sees the return of the inimitable Secret Diary of Mrs Howard. Now 14, Mrs Howard is at a tricky age for any young woman, made more tricky by her “friendship” with nemesis Ruth.Also strapped to our chests this week are Ben Is Brilliant and a Chinese Factissimo. Plus some exciting news from Wales, word on Keith’s thumb, and some fan mail from Denmark.So, from Bristol to Shanghai, it’s an international Idiot this week.Window or aisle?
33 minutes | Sep 7, 2011
Show 53 - Now That's What I Call Idiot
What other podcast can boast ganglions, football, Sean Connery fighting, a yard of coke and advice on cocks? Show 53 reunites the three Idiots; Howard and Keith and Ben, as they take one last tour of Howard’s football diary, Ben's system demonstrates how to tell the difference between Howard and Keith, and Keith goes in deep on Howard’s Birthday party.There’s also a brand new segment from Keith and some news on Howard’s adventures with “the poor”.We’re sorry about show 53. But not as sorry as you.
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