stitcherLogoCreated with Sketch.
Get Premium Download App
Listen
Discover
Premium
Shows
Likes

Listen Now

Discover Premium Shows Likes

I Am Citizen Abels

100 Episodes

6 minutes | May 6, 2020
The Best Joe Biden Gaffes, Flubs, And Blunders
Joe Biden, the presumptive Democratic candidate for the United States of America in the 2020 election. Former Vice President to Barack Obama. Former Senator from Delaware. And major gaffer. Major verbal blunderer. Now, Sleepy Joe, as Donald Trump calls him, seems out of it sometimes. Maybe he’s just sleepy. In this episode of “I Am Citizen Abels,” The Citizen uses some of The Citizen Files to show you some of the best Joe Biden flubs and gaffes over the last few years of the now 77-year-old senior citizen Joe Biden bumbling and stumbling and just – well – making everyone wonder whether he’s got dementia or Alzheimer’s or whether he’s just plain lost all of his marbles. Joe? Hello, Joe.   “I Am Citizen Abels” (https://www.iamcitizenabels.com) is a YouTube show and podcast starring David Abels, and a copyrighted production of Four Strong Media LLC. You can watch The Citizen on YouTube, and listen to him on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Last.fm, and hundreds of other apps and websites. You can also follow Citizen Abels on Facebook and Twitter, and his other social media pages. Four Strong Media LLC. High art of the lowest order.™ Joe Biden, the presumptive Democratic candidate for the United States of America in the 2020 election. Former Vice President to Barack Obama. Former Senator from Delaware. And major gaffer. Major verbal blunderer. Now, Sleepy Joe, as Donald Trump calls him, seems out of it sometimes. Maybe he’s just sleepy. In this episode of “I Am Citizen Abels,” The Citizen uses some of The Citizen Files to show you some of the best Joe Biden flubs and gaffes over the last few years of the now 77-year-old senior citizen Joe Biden bumbling and stumbling and just – well – making everyone wonder whether he’s got dementia or Alzheimer’s or whether he’s just plain lost all of his marbles. Joe? Hello, Joe. “I Am Citizen Abels” (https://www.iamcitizenabels.com) is a YouTube show and podcast starring David Abels, and a copyrighted production of Four Strong Media LLC. You can watch The Citizen on YouTube, and listen to him on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Last.fm, and hundreds of other apps and websites. You can also follow Citizen Abels on Facebook and Twitter, and his other social media pages. Four Strong Media LLC. High art of the lowest order.™
6 minutes | Apr 15, 2020
Gen Z Comedian Harrison Friedman Knows Something You Don’t
Most Gen Z kids don’t know anything if you ask Citizen Abels. So, don’t ask him. But lo and behold it seems to The Citizen that young comedian Harrison Friedman in fact does know something – and it’s not just that being the hardest working man in show business since James Brown died is a lofty pursuit; it’s that comedy is a bridge between people. Laughter is the best medicine, and like a great proctologist, Harrison injects humor into life and on stage to get people to see that we’re all pretty much alike. Especially now, when like our undaunted friend, The Citizen, are stuck like bees on a crown of thorns waiting for the chance to kiss some rose petals and lick where the moon don’t shine. Enjoy this short – but fun and philosophical show. And don’t forget, keep your pants on – the Coronavirus is still out there. “I Am Citizen Abels” (www.iamcitizenabels.com) is a YouTube show (www.youtube.com/c/citizenabels) and podcast starring David Abels, and a copyrighted production of Four Strong Media LLC. You can listen to Citizen Abels on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Last.fm, YouTube, Vimeo, or on your favorite podcast app or website. Follow The Citizen on Facebook, Twitter, and his other social media pages. Four Strong Media LLC. High art of the lowest order.™
6 minutes | Apr 14, 2020
Is Coronavirus China's Biowarfare Against The U.S.?
No joking on this episode of “I Am Citizen Abels.” Because The Citizen is asking questions like The Riddler trying to pick up a joker in a downtown bar. And not only is our fearless friend asking questions, he’s asking whether the Chinese government has started a biowar by unleashing the Coronavirus on the Western world. Everyone knows we live in a politically correct world where we don’t see color – not black, not white, not yellow, not red. But this time, America and the rest of the world may need to wake up. Wake up and see things are not quite as clear as a wonton on a plate with soy sauce on the table. Wake up, America. Wake up, world. This could be the… “I Am Citizen Abels” (www.iamcitizenabels.com) is a YouTube show and podcast starring David Abels, and a copyrighted production of Four Strong Media LLC. You can listen to Citizen Abels on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Last.fm, YouTube, Vimeo, or on your favorite podcast app or website. Follow The Citizen on Facebook, Twitter, and his other social media pages. Four Strong Media LLC. High art of the lowest order.™
16 minutes | Mar 26, 2020
Unboxing Dollar Shave Club & Harry’s Shaving Samplers For A Close Shave
Our ever-horny and now desperate but determined friend, The Citizen, takes the opportunity in this latest episode of “I Am Citizen Abels” to unbox shaving sampler kits from Dollar Shave Club and Harry’s. The Citizen reveals that his closest shave actually came when he was married – Satan took all of his money but he escaped with his life. The fun aside, Citizen Abels actually shaves on this show – a miracle of sorts for someone who had alopecia (another show to come about that). And he also dons nipple covers made from painter’s blue tape. What can you do when you’re desperate and lonely? Take the time to put a smile on someone else’s face and teach them a little bit about life. Enjoy this great new episode of “I Am Citizen Abels,” and remember there’s no business like show business. “I Am Citizen Abels” (www.iamcitizenabels.com) is a YouTube show and podcast starring David Abels, and a copyrighted production of Four Strong Media LLC. You can listen to Citizen Abels on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Last.fm, YouTube, Vimeo, or on your favorite podcast app or website. Follow The Citizen on Facebook, Twitter, and his other social media pages. Four Strong Media LLC. High art of the lowest order.™
12 minutes | Mar 21, 2020
Unboxing Adam & Eve’s Complete Lovers Kit Adult Toy Sampler
In this episode of “I Am Citizen Abels,” recorded on March 16, 2020 during the emerging droplets of the Coronavirus pandemic (just a little levity), The Citizen unboxes the “Complete Lovers Kit” adult toy sampler from his former employer, Adam & Eve. Unwittingly, The Citizen and his mouth and his very talented tongue make the most of the situation to show quite how desperate he is – the poor old fart is beyond freaking horny. Citizen Abels is off to the races again – going (down) nowhere fast – and takes the time to explain how you too can get off in the purple squirts just like Prince on the down low with a transvestite groupie. Boy, those were the days. Take advantage of enjoying The Citizen as he displays his sexual ineptness and reveal his penis is nothing to look at, and certainly, nothing to talk about. You have nothing but your panties to lose and a coupon code for adameve.com to use. Yes, just stick “CITIZEN” in your box at checkout as you check out the show. “I Am Citizen Abels” (www.iamcitizenabels.com) is a YouTube show and podcast starring David Abels, and a copyrighted production of Four Strong Media LLC. You can listen to Citizen Abels on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Last.fm, YouTube, Vimeo, or on your favorite podcast app or website. Follow The Citizen on Facebook, Twitter, and his other social media pages. Four Strong Media LLC. High art of the lowest order.™
3 minutes | Mar 20, 2020
The Citizen’s Top 10 Signs That You Might Have The Coronavirus
Laughter is the best medicine what ever your grouchy uncle or sister or even doctor says. In this new Top 10 list from The Citizen, our fearless friend tries to inject some levity into the Coronavirus scare with his own special ways to diagnose what might be ailing you. Shit, it’s all going to hell in a handbasket. Might as well have some fun before the Terminator returns. “I Am Citizen Abels” (www.iamcitizenabels.com) is an internet radio show starring David Abels, and a copyrighted production of Four Strong Media LLC. You can listen to Citizen Abels on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Last.fm, YouTube, Vimeo, or on your favorite podcast app or website. Follow The Citizen on Facebook, Twitter, and his other social media pages. Four Strong Media LLC. High art of the lowest order.™
9 minutes | Oct 22, 2019
Gen Z Comedian Harrison Friedman Talkin’ PC, Talkin’ His Generation
While everyone knows The Citizen is funny (did you say, funny looking?), The Citizen knows Gen Z punks aren’t. Well, at least most of them. On this episode of “I Am Citizen Abels,” our fearless friend takes on Gen Z punk and comedian, Harrison Friedman, who’s actually pretty funny for a punk and a comedian. The one-and-a-half comedians talk the world of PC and the shit Gen Z says, like, don’t say the “n word” or “retard” or any truths about women. Who knows? In any event, The Citizen rolls out the roasting oven for Harrison until he gets “cancelled” as they say in the stupid comedy clubs the Gen Z crowds go to sip beer and pretend they don’t want to get laid. Oh well, what can you with these dumbasses but laugh? Not much. “I Am Citizen Abels” (www.iamcitizenabels.com) is an internet radio show starring David Abels, and a copyrighted production of Four Strong Media LLC. You can listen to Citizen Abels on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Last.fm, YouTube, Vimeo, or on your favorite podcast app or website. Follow The Citizen on Facebook, Twitter, and his other social media pages. Four Strong Media LLC. High art of the lowest order.™
11 minutes | Sep 26, 2019
Enneagram 103 With Therapist Dr. Beatrice Chestnut
The third of a three-part series, this episode of “I Am Citizen Abels” with renown therapist and corporate consultant, Dr. Beatrice Chestnut, reveals information about several of the brain-based Enneagram types. The Citizen and Dr. Chestnut run through each of these types and the Enneagram subtypes. Of course, our sometimes unruly – but always interesting – friend and pseudo-therapist, The Citizen, finds a way to figure out why he never gets any copays from the crazy women he winds up with. It’s because he’s crazier than they are. So, sit back, relax, don’t move that pillow on that couch, and tell Dr. Citizen what’s the matter. Again. “I Am Citizen Abels” (www.iamcitizenabels.com) is an internet radio show starring David Abels, and a copyrighted production of Four Strong Media LLC. You can listen to Citizen Abels on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Last.fm, YouTube, Vimeo, or on your favorite podcast app or website. Follow The Citizen on Facebook, Twitter, and his other social media pages. Four Strong Media LLC. High art of the lowest order.™
11 minutes | Sep 25, 2019
Will You Be Able To Pay The Bills As You Get Older?
Money, money, money. Show me the money. And that’s true especially as you get older. The American Dream is alive for some. But even for those that have it, sailing through the senior years without illness or disability, without help or care, without worry or fear…well, good freakin’ luck with that. So, on this episode of “I Am Citizen Abels,” The Citizen and normally cantankerous friend, Ken Perry, talk about their concerns gettin’ on up there. For our fateful friend, The Citizen, you know his main concern – getting’ down there. Oh, well. You too? Try a blue pill. But first – of course – listen to The Citizen. “I Am Citizen Abels” (www.iamcitizenabels.com) is an internet radio show starring David Abels, and a copyrighted production of Four Strong Media LLC. You can listen to Citizen Abels on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Last.fm, YouTube, Vimeo, or on your favorite podcast app or website. Follow The Citizen on Facebook, Twitter, and his other social media pages. Four Strong Media LLC. High art of the lowest order.™
15 minutes | Sep 18, 2019
Julian Assange & Globalists George Soros, The Rockefellers & Rothschilds
Everyone knows The Citizen is a sucker for a good story. Because you know he’s got a million stories and they’re all true.™ So, on this episode of “I Am Citizen Abels,” The Citizen and friend, conspiracy theorist, and true believer, Ken Perry, talk about globalism, the “globalists”, and one of their supposed enemies – Julian Assange. Perry gets some good shots in at a bunch of globalists that many like him are on a constant mission to control the world. They include the Rockefellers, the Rothschilds, Cecil Rhodes, Julian Huxley, and the infamous George Soros. Listen, The Citizen is not in the know when it comes to these people. Do your best for God and his county – and of course, for your friend The Citizen, and listen, enjoy, and most importantly, subscribe. Who do you think you’re fooling? “I Am Citizen Abels” (www.iamcitizenabels.com) is an internet radio show starring David Abels, and a copyrighted production of Four Strong Media LLC. You can listen to Citizen Abels on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Last.fm, YouTube, Vimeo, or on your favorite podcast app or website. Follow The Citizen on Facebook, Twitter, and his other social media pages. Four Strong Media LLC. High art of the lowest order.™
12 minutes | Sep 17, 2019
Enneagram 102 With Therapist Dr. Beatrice Chestnut
This episode of “I Am Citizen Abels” is the second of a three-part series with renown therapist and corporate consultant, Dr. Beatrice Chestnut. The Citizen and Dr. Chestnut run through interesting aspects about three of the nine Enneagram types, and discuss the Enneagram’s use in general. Needless to say, our magnanimous friend starts to believe he’s every type and everyone and everything. Clearly, YouTubing has gone to his head. So, listen and learn as The Citizen and Beatrice Chestnut try to figure out what makes people do the things they do and why the world is the way it is. Shhhh…no one but you needs to know. “I Am Citizen Abels” (www.iamcitizenabels.com) is an internet radio show starring David Abels, and a copyrighted production of Four Strong Media LLC. You can listen to Citizen Abels on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Last.fm, YouTube, Vimeo, or on your favorite podcast app or website. Follow The Citizen on Facebook, Twitter, and his other social media pages. Four Strong Media LLC. High art of the lowest order.™
15 minutes | Sep 16, 2019
Enneagram 101 With Therapist Dr. Beatrice Chestnut
On this episode of “I Am Citizen Abels” – the first of a three-part series – therapist and corporate consultant, Dr. Beatrice Chestnut, talks about the Enneagram personality type system. Dr. Chestnut and The Citizen go through some Enneagram basics, discuss the history of the Enneagram, and run through some of the nine Enneagram types. Of course, The Citizen is at his neurotic best, and starts identifying with every type. If he could only find the right type to go out with. Anyway, join this interesting discussion, and remember to stay in touch with yourself. “I Am Citizen Abels” (www.iamcitizenabels.com) is an internet radio show starring David Abels, and a copyrighted production of Four Strong Media LLC. You can listen to Citizen Abels on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Last.fm, YouTube, Vimeo, or on your favorite podcast app or website. Follow The Citizen on Facebook, Twitter, and his other social media pages. Four Strong Media LLC. High art of the lowest order.™
9 minutes | Aug 29, 2019
Is Donald Trump “The Chosen One” Or Is He Just Crazy As Hell?
As everyone who’s anyone knows, our friend The Citizen is “the chosen one” no matter what the crowd at the convenience store says. But on this episode of “I Am Citizen Abels,” The Citizen and ardent Donald Trump supporter Ken Perry discuss whether Mr. Trump is as he and two other people say, “the chosen one” who is like the second coming of God to the people of Israel. Oy. Is there anything else that people can talk about besides crazy men and Chinese tariffs. Well, leave that up to Citizen Abels. “I Am Citizen Abels” (www.iamcitizenabels.com) is an internet radio show starring David Abels, and a copyrighted production of Four Strong Media LLC. You can listen to Citizen Abels on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Last.fm, YouTube, Vimeo, or on your favorite podcast app or website. Follow The Citizen on Facebook, Twitter, and his other social media pages. Four Strong Media LLC. High art of the lowest order.™
14 minutes | Aug 28, 2019
Is CBD Oil Right For You? The Benefits Of CBD: Peppi Eliason – Part 2
On this second “I Am Citizen Abels” episode with CBD entrepreneur Peppi Eliason, The Citizen learns about different products that help people with sleep, anxiety, and aches and pains. Peppi shows and talks about products she represents that are both CBD-based and non-CDB-based, and tells The Citizen about friends, family, and pets who have benefited. So, get onboard, get out of bed, and get going by trying something different than what you’re doing now. After all, The Citizen does that every show he’s on. “I Am Citizen Abels” (hwww.iamcitizenabels.com) is an internet radio show starring David Abels, and a copyrighted production of Four Strong Media LLC. You can listen to Citizen Abels on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Last.fm, YouTube, Vimeo, or on your favorite podcast app or website. Follow The Citizen on Facebook, Twitter, and his other social media pages. Four Strong Media LLC. High art of the lowest order.™
15 minutes | Aug 27, 2019
Is CBD Oil Right For You? The Benefits Of CBD: Peppi Eliason – Part 1
CBD oil, also known as cannabinol, is the hot thing these days. And while our friend, The Citizen, always thinks his little head is the hot thing every day, he bites his lip and gives time to his friend and fellow businesswoman, Peppi Eliason, who is a CBD product entrepreneur. Peppi tells Citizen Abels that he can find relief for much of the pain he has – with the notable exception of his ex-wife and her lawyer – by using CBD oil, as Peppi discovered when she tore her meniscus and went through rehab. So, in this first part of a two-part episode of “I Am Citizen Abels,” discover along with The Citizen and Peppi what young and old farts across the world are discovering – a few drops a day keeps the pain away, good z’s are within reach, and a smile might hit your face even when you’re not watching Citizen Abels.   “I Am Citizen Abels” (www.iamcitizenabels.com) is an internet radio show starring David Abels, and a copyrighted production of Four Strong Media LLC. You can listen to Citizen Abels on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Last.fm, YouTube, Vimeo, or on your favorite podcast app or website. Follow The Citizen on Facebook, Twitter, and his other social media pages. Four Strong Media LLC. High art of the lowest order.™
11 minutes | Aug 18, 2019
Mounting An LCD, LED Or Roku TV On Your Wall Using A Wall Mounting Kit
While his kids, family, friends, neighbors, and the rest of the world think Citizen Abels is an idiot and a moron (an idiot and a moron?), our fearless friend sets out to prove them wrong as he takes on the task of mounting a TV on his son’s bedroom wall using a TV wall mounting kit. And lo and behold, The Citizen does it!!! So can you. But only – of course – if you watch this episode of “I Am Citizen Abels,” in bold, living color and high-def. OMG!!!   “I Am Citizen Abels” (www.iamcitizenabels.com) is an internet radio show starring David Abels, and a copyrighted production of Four Strong Media LLC. You can listen to Citizen Abels on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Last.fm, YouTube, Vimeo, or on your favorite podcast app or website. Follow The Citizen on Facebook, Twitter, and his other social media pages. Four Strong Media LLC. High art of the lowest order.™
16 minutes | Aug 7, 2019
Top Filmmaker & YouTuber David Hoffman On Life, Work, And Philosophy
David Hoffman has led an interesting life. He’s lived in New York and California; created great documentaries such as “Sing Sing Thanksgiving” with B.B. King and Joan Baez; worked for major corporations doing communications work; been rich, been poor. And at 78, Hoffman is still going strong. On this episode of “I Am Citizen Abels,” The Citizen listens intently to Hoffman’s story, and wonders whether he’ll ever be what he wants to be. What is that, anyway? So, tune it, tune out, and take your pants off. Here’s another great show.   “I Am Citizen Abels” (www.iamcitizenabels.com) is an internet radio show starring David Abels, and a copyrighted production of Four Strong Media LLC. You can listen to Citizen Abels on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Last.fm, YouTube, Vimeo, or on your favorite podcast app or website. Follow The Citizen on Facebook, Twitter, and his other social media pages. Four Strong Media LLC. High art of the lowest order.™
18 minutes | Aug 6, 2019
Bestselling BDSM Romance Writer Tara Sue Me Talks Sex: Part II Of II
In this episode of “I Am Citizen Abels,” BDSM romance writer Tara Sue Me talks about what drives women to her books, how these books affect their sex lives, and what prejudices and limitations confine people in the BDSM “lifestyle.” Tara Sue’s books – mostly easy-to-read e-books for $4.99 – include her famous Submissive series, which includes titles like “The Submissive” and “The Dominant.” Her latest book is, yes, you guessed it – “FOK” – a Wall Street acronym for “Fulfill Or Kill.” Well, FOK. Just shoot The Citizen. Because he can’t tell if he’s fulfilled. And he certainly can’t get no satisfaction. Oh, give it to him, baby.   “I Am Citizen Abels” (www.iamcitizenabels.com) is an internet radio show starring David Abels, and a copyrighted production of Four Strong Media LLC. You can listen to Citizen Abels on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Last.fm, YouTube, Vimeo, or on your favorite podcast app or website. Follow The Citizen on Facebook, Twitter, and his other social media pages. Four Strong Media LLC. High art of the lowest order.™
23 minutes | Aug 5, 2019
Successful Filmmaker & YouTuber David Hoffman On B.B. King & Life
David Hoffman has had a long, successful, and productive career in film, on TV, and on YouTube. The Citizen talks in this episode of “I Am Citizen Abels” with Hoffman about life, growing up in New York, his dedication and passion for film and for communicating. Hoffman tells the story of the making of “Sing Sing Thanksgiving,” his documentary featuring a concert with B.B. King and Joan Baez at the notorious Sing Sing prison. King described his performance at Sing Sing as the best of his career, and The Citizen listens intently to Hoffman tell the tale of serendipity, determination, and reaching out – core principles the famous filmmaker lives by. So, put down your guitar, turn up the volume, and listen to another great show.   “I Am Citizen Abels” (http://www.iamcitizenabels.com) is an internet radio show starring David Abels, and a copyrighted production of Four Strong Media LLC. You can listen to Citizen Abels on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Last.fm, YouTube, Vimeo, or on your favorite podcast app or website. Follow The Citizen on Facebook, Twitter, and his other social media pages. Four Strong Media LLC. High art of the lowest order.™
14 minutes | Aug 3, 2019
The Road Less Traveled: Artem Smirnov Crosses The U.S. And The Mexican Border To Find The Holy Grail
The Citizen welcomes back his old young friend and former producer, Artem Smirnov, in this episode of “I Am Citizen Abels.” The one and one-half Jews discuss Artem’s trip of self-discovery across the U.S. and across the Mexican border where the stars shoot in the sky and problems like frayed cables just don’t exist. So, take this voyage of discovery yourself, and find out what Artem realizes is more important than anything in life – even more important than the whole world watching The Citizen. Yes, you guessed it – peace out.   “I Am Citizen Abels” (www.iamcitizenabels.com) is an internet radio show starring David Abels, and a copyrighted production of Four Strong Media LLC. You can listen to Citizen Abels on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Podcasts, Last.fm, YouTube, Vimeo, or on your favorite podcast app or website. Follow The Citizen on Facebook, Twitter, and his other social media pages. Four Strong Media LLC. High art of the lowest order.™
COMPANY
About us Careers Stitcher Blog Help
AFFILIATES
Partner Portal Advertisers Podswag Stitcher Originals
Privacy Policy Terms of Service Do Not Sell My Personal Information
© Stitcher 2022