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Husband Help Haven Podcast: Marriage Advice for Men Facing Separation, Affair or Divorce
23 minutes | 10 hours ago
From Friendship To Attraction Once She's Started Coming Back
In the last episode, we talked about how to get out of your wife's friend zone when you're early in the separation... But what about when you're beginning to rebuild the marriage on the other side of separation? What do you do when your wife is starting to come back, but can't seem to get those pesky "feelings" back? That's the subject of this week's episode. We'll talk about developing an effective mindset to survive this phase of separation, and what you can do to lead the way from a genuinely renewed friendship with your wife back to a loving, happy marriage.
25 minutes | 14 days ago
How To Get Out Of Your Wife's "Friend Zone" During Separation
"Stephen, my wife and I get along great, but she has no attraction to me. I think I'm stuck in her friend zone. What should I do?" This is the question we'll be answering on today's episode of the Husband Help Haven Podcast. I'll tell you right now, I don't particularly like the term "friend zone", but it's one that many separated men use when describing their current relationship with their wife. In this episode, I'll tell you why I don't like the term, what I think the actual problem is, and what you should do if you're in this position. Here are some of the topics we'll cover: When does this friend zone question come up? Why I don't like using the term in separation? What the friend zone problem actually describes? What are some solutions to your wife's awareness of mismatched attraction? If you'd like insight into any of these questions, grab a cup of coffee and start listening!
20 minutes | 6 months ago
Thankfulness During Separation - The Key To Waiting For Your Wife
Thankfulness and marital separation seem like they'd go together about as well as oil and water... What could you possibly have to be thankful for when your life as you knew it has been thrown into upheaval? In this episode, we're going to talk about three things: Why thankfulness is important and how it will help you navigate separation better Specific things you can be thankful for, even when you're separated What you should do when gratitude feels impossible Whether you're celebrating Thanksgiving this week or not, gratitude is timeless and it has a direct relationship with how much confidence you retain as you navigate through your separation. Why? Because when you seek gratitude in no man's land, you refuse to let yourself be dominated by negativity - despite the discouraging, seemingly impossible obstacles that may lie in front of you, you can still determine yourself to seek humble thankfulness to combat your pride and keep your motives where they need to be. I'm not saying this is the silver bullet that's going to transform your marriage overnight. But when you set an example of thankfulness to your family and perhaps even to your wife, even when life is difficult, that has very real value - and that's why we're talking about it today.
22 minutes | 6 months ago
Holidays During Separation - 7 Tips To Make The Most Of Christmas and Thanksgiving When Your Wife Wants Out
The holidays can be tricky when you're separated. Made worse by the fact that the new year is often a time where a separated wife may choose to move forward with divorce. How do you make the most of this holiday season if you're already separated? What can you do to get the best possible chance of positively impacting your wife's decision about the marriage? What if your wife has already come out and told you she plans to file after Christmas? In this episode, I'll share the 7 most common pieces of advice that I give men at this time of year. These are tips intended to help you stay stable, focused and confident as you navigate the last weeks of the year.
21 minutes | 6 months ago
How To Forgive Your Wife Through Broken Boundaries
Today's episode is in response to a recent question I got from a guy named JD. Basically, his wife is doing things that he feels are truly unacceptable, so his fear is that continuing to forgive her will simply enable her bad behavior. I love this question because it highlights two important concepts that often come into play during separation: Forgiveness and boundaries. How do these two concepts coexist? Should you continue forgiving your wife even when she's breaking the boundaries of the relationship? Throughout the episode, we'll look at what forgiveness and proper boundaries each do in a relationship, and then I'll tell you my answer to JD's question and the best way for YOU to show your wife strength when she continues doing things that are unacceptable.
20 minutes | 7 months ago
[Q&A] How to have an open conversation during separation (and other questions)
Today we're answering three reader-submitted questions: Question #1 - How do you have an open and honest conversation with your wife while you're separated? Question #2 - If you were the one to have an affair, do you do anything different to try and get your wife back? Question #3 - If your wife starts warming up to you AFTER you've stopped saying 'I love you', should you start trying to be affectionate again? Since each of these questions were submitted by a Husband Help Haven subscriber, you'll be hearing the real problems other men are having in their marriage, as well as the advice I give in each situation.
21 minutes | 7 months ago
Doing The Hard, But Good Thing
Today's episode is a little different. Instead of direct separation-related strategy, we're going to talk about two important reasons to do the hard, but good thing in your marriage. Most HHH readers / listeners can identify with doing the hard, but good thing. After all, being the only one to fight for your marriage is exactly that. When you do the right thing, the good thing, when the outcome isn't guaranteed, when even recognition for trying isn't guaranteed... Is it worth it? In this episode, I give two reasons why I say yes.
23 minutes | 9 months ago
3 Unconventional Ways To Rebuild Trust During Separation
Trust is something we've talked a lot about on Husband Help Haven, and for good reason. It is a prerequisite that must be in place before you can rebuild romantic love with your wife. In today's episode, we're going to talk more in-depth about what exactly trust means in a relationship and what elements of trust may be missing or damaged in YOUR relationship. Then, we'll talk about three unconventional - but powerful - ways you can look to rebuild trust with a separated wife, even when things are distant and even when she is adamant about not coming back to the marriage.
19 minutes | 9 months ago
5 Reminders To Help You Endure A Long Separation
How do you endure a separation that drags on for months on end? In today's episode, I'm sharing the 5 most common reminders that I give to men who are in long-lasting separations. For example, how do you keep the ball rolling once the relationship starts to improve? How do you handle a wife that keeps bringing up divorce, but still hasn't filed? How do you stay stable and consistent through the chaos of separation? Spoiler alert, these are the things that you probably already know, or that already make sense to you, but they are easy to forget as the separation drags on and new challenges arise. So, if you want some extra encouragement as you navigate the ups and downs of waiting for your wife to figure out what she wants, this episode is for you. And make sure you listen to the end for a special announcement!
25 minutes | 9 months ago
Separation Roadmap - 4 Stages Between Marriage & Divorce
Over time, I've noticed that there tend to be four major stages between marriage and divorce... Those four stages of separation are: She says she wants out Plans are made to live separately Someone moves out Divorce is filed Today's episode covers these stages in what I call the Separation Roadmap. It is an overview of each one of these stages with answers to a few key questions about each one. What's going through her head? What mistakes do men tend to make at this stage? What have I seen get good results in each stage? What does reconciliation look like if it happens at each stage? Obviously, every separation is different and sometimes stages get shuffled around or combined, but MOST separations go through at least three of these stages before the divorce is final. If you want to know a bit more about where your separation is at and get some potential new ideas for creating positive change in your relationship, this episode ought to do both those things for you.
31 minutes | 10 months ago
Get Your Wife Back With Boundaries
Today we'll be wrapping up the Get Your Wife Back With... series with a look at enforcing boundaries during separation. Learn how enforcing boundaries can be the thing that sparks your wife to change course and rethink leaving the marriage Yes, believe it or not, I have seen marriages saved when the husband draws a line and enforces a boundary. The most common way this is done is with an ultimatum... "Do this, or else that will happen." "End the affair, or else I'm moving forward with divorce." It should come as no surprise that enforcing boundaries is a last resort during separation. And of all the avenues we've presented in this series, this is the only one where YOU are taking back control of the separation. In this episode, you'll learn what boundaries are justifiable to enforce during separation (hint: there's one big one) and how you can go about doing that with the best possible chance of reconciliation.
25 minutes | 10 months ago
Get Your Wife Back With Friendship
Can friendship pave the way back to a happy marriage? In the fourth episode of the Get Your Wife Back With... series, we're looking at how to get your wife back with friendship. Seems simple on the surface, but we'll talk about when it works best, signs that you're doing it right, and a couple extra things to know when trying to compete with some of the new friends your wife may have made for herself during the separation. Plus, we'll talk about how to get your wife on the same page with you so that you both accept and engage in friendship with each other, without putting pressure on her that you're trying to manipulate her back to the marriage. Overall, my hope is that after this episode you will understand the role of friendship with your wife during separation, how it can help you, and how to apply it to YOUR separation.
25 minutes | a year ago
Get Your Wife Back With Fatherhood
How do you get your wife back with fatherhood? Can stepping up as a father help you rebuild connection and trust with your wife during separation? If so, how? In part 3 of the Get Your Wife Back With... series, we will examine the role of good parenting and how that can help bridge the gap of separation to find common ground with your wife. Obviously, this only applies if you have kids, but for fathers going through separation, this episode will go in-depth on everything you need to know to help your wife see you in a positive light as you step up with your kids.
25 minutes | a year ago
Get Your Wife Back With Space
In the second episode of our 5-part Get Your Wife Back With... series, we are taking a look at how to get your wife back with space. No, I don't mean staring up at the stars together, I mean shifting your attitude towards distance in the relationship during separation. Most separated wives ask for space at one point or another. In this episode, we'll talk about how you can respond to that desire for space in a way that sets you up for future reconciliation. More specifically, we'll talk about how giving your wife space can actually be a productive part of separation if you approach it with the right mindset. We'll talk about what that mindset should be. We'll also touch on when you should give space vs when you should lean in and pursue, and you'll learn how to tell when you're doing it right.
31 minutes | a year ago
Get Your Wife Back With Attraction
The first of a five-part Get Your Wife Back With... series, in this episode we will talk about how to get your wife back with attraction. Attraction - something we talk a lot about here on Husband Help Haven - is the feeling that creates a wanting from your wife for the marriage. Often, it's one of the biggest things missing by the time a marriage hits the point of separation. In this episode, we'll dive deep into attraction during separation. You'll learn what your goal should be for rebuilding attraction with your wife, when it works best, how to do it, and signs you're on the right track.
16 minutes | a year ago
Separation Strategy Part 4 - Rebuilt Trust One Step At A Time
Why is trust the #1 thing we focus on throughout the 3+1 Separation Strategy? Why is trust so important in rebuilding the foundation of a future happy marriage with your wife? In the final episode episode of our 4-part series, we will explore what trust means in your relationship, why it MUST be the starting point for reconciliation, and the process you must follow to rebuild trust with your wife.
25 minutes | a year ago
Separation Strategy Part 3 - Show That Man To Your Wife In A Way That Makes Her Life Better
With self-control and self-improvement in place, we begin looking at how you can start showing your wife the man she could have if she stays. The third and final step of the 3+1 Separation Strategy is where we harness the work of the first two steps in a way that begins improving your relationship with your wife. In this episode, you'll learn how to start seeing the opportunities available to you in your separation. We will do this through two powerful questions that help you see what your wife needs before she will stay. I will also share what I tell men who feel like they have few or no opportunities to get their wife back.
18 minutes | a year ago
Separation Strategy Pt. 2 - Become The Man You Want To Be
The second step of the 3+1 Separation Strategy is all about self-improvement. With self-control firmly in place, we can harness that discipline to start making meaningful changes in you as a man, husband and father. In this episode, I'll walk you through a few different ways you can pinpoint the type of man you want to be, and identify specific changes you can make to start working towards that man.
22 minutes | a year ago
Separation Strategy Pt. 1 - Focus On What You Can Control
What's the very first thing I tell a separated man who wants to save his marriage? Stop the desperation, focus on what you can control. That's the first step of the 3+1 Separation Strategy, which is my go-to advice for most men who want to get their wife back from separation. It's a three step strategy working towards a singular goal of rebuilding trust in your relationship. In this episode, you'll overview the entire 3+1 Separation Strategy, and then we'll go in-depth on the first step.
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