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Artwork by Katherine Lam. It’s time to let go of our focus on productivity and lean into a new way of being. In this final episode of season 3 of the podcast, I reflect on my own journey into the world of productivity, what I’ve learned, and why I’m leaving it behind. In the process, I touch on the inevitable discomfort of new consciousness, why things are never going back to normal again, and how we can begin anew. Key takeaways from this episode: Why new consciousness is so painful Why we can’t go back to “normal” anymore How to begin unwinding old patterns and rewiring new ones What happens when we stop measuring ourselves by our productivity? How to reconnect w/ your essence and navigate a way forward Favorite Quotes “When you awaken to a new level of self-awareness, the first phase is incredibly uncomfortable. Because you can see what you couldn’t see before — and what that usually looks like is paying witness to some sort of shitty behavior that you were previously doing unconsciously that has now come into consciousness. And at first, all you can do is watch. Watch yourself doing the shitty or self-destructive or hurtful behavior. Like: Ugh, there I go again. Doing the terrible thing.” “I can remember talking to another woman a few years ago, who, like me, had quit drinking and she said: ‘You just start noticing…’ and went on to list all of the things she had started noticing. But I thought: You can stop there, that’s the whole sentence: You start noticing. Noticing all the things you were striving to not notice by engaging with that addiction. And it’s painful. Productivity, too, is an addiction — one that helps us avoid noticing a whole range of things.” “The brief is clear: It’s time for each of us to reconnect with our core essence — that thing that is at the heart of who you are without the doing, that life force, that spark that has always been deep within you. Maybe it’s your superpower or maybe it’s your best-kept secret. The brief is to reconnect with that light, that essence and make it the centerpiece as you begin to slowly move forward after this cosmic reset.” Sponsors Hover has a domain name for whatever you’re passionate about. Get 10% off your first domain name, and start laying the groundwork for your next big idea, by visiting hover.com/hurryslowly. Resources The resources that I mention in this epi: Hurry Slowly episode: “Who Are You Without the Doing?” Hurry Slowly episode: “It Doesn’t Matter What You Do, It’s Who’s Doing It” Hurry Slowly episode: “Renata Salecl: The Tyranny of Choice” Hurry Slowly episode: “Transformation Is Hard” Call to Action If this episode sparked some insight for you, I would love your support. Subscribe to the show in iTunes and write us a review. Every rating helps us attract new listeners, which allows us to keep making the show! : ) You can write a review on your phone here: hurryslowly.co/mobilereview

Illustration by Sebastian Curi. What unexpected blessings did you receive in 2020? It goes without saying that 2020 has been an incredibly trying, disorienting, and painful year. But I wanted to shed some light on the good that has been uncovered as well. So, in the holiday spirit, I decided to collect stories about the “strange gifts” of this past year, asking listeners to respond to this question: “How have you transmuted the challenges you faced this past year into an insight or idea that has changed your perspective for the better? What ‘strange gifts’ have you mined from the hardship of 2020?” Key takeaways from this episode: Why “surrender” may be the most potent (and challenging) gift of the pandemic How increased online access opened up a new world of participation for those who are differently abled Why the new shifts in the way we work with technology aren’t going anywhere How lockdown gave listeners the time and space to grieve How people learned to like themselves, let go of self-criticism, and stop people-pleasing Favorite Quotes “I am a psychotherapist. The strangest gifts of the pandemic include, seeing inside my beloved clients’ homes, seeing their families, their pets, and their gardens. People now do therapy from home (and sometimes from their car), and it is a remarkable shift. I feel lucky to be brought into their personal worlds in this other way, and, for the most part, I believe I see people accessing more safety at home. I think for many this means working more deeply in therapy: men crying, women shouting their rage, dreams, fantasies, and memories coming more easily. What a gift!” —Elizabeth in Australia “I am a person living with disability, specifically chronic illness, and the world has become paradoxically more accessible for me now that everything is online. The energy of physically going to many different locations or not being able to properly take care of my needs while away from home have been transformed into perpetual accessibility.” —Anonymous in Canada “Before March I would have said that I was a very huggy person. I used hugging as a bridge to connect to other people, friends, family, and often strangers or customers in the store I work in. After Covid hit I had to relearn how to communicate without touch. I had to slow down, really listen, and be in the moment with the other person. I think the interactions have been much deeper because of this, and I certainly hope to continue being this mindful going forward.” —Mary Anne on Vancouver Island Sponsors HEY transforms email into something you want to use, not something you’re forced to deal with. Visit hey.com to find out how the friendly folks at Basecamp have completely reinvented email to make it effortless. Hover has a domain name for whatever you’re passionate about. Get 10% off your first domain name, and start laying the groundwork for your next big idea, by visiting hover.com/hurryslowly. Resources The resources that I mention in this epi: The Hurry Slowly episode on nature with Florence Williams To donate to those hardest hit by COVID-19, visit hurryslowly.co/relief Call to Action If this episode sparked some new ideas for you, I would love your support. Subscribe to the show in iTunes and write us a review. Every rating helps us attract new listeners, which allows us to keep making the show! : ) You can write a review on your phone here: hurryslowly.co/mobilereview

Artwork by Ana Miminoshvili. What if it didn’t matter how productive you were today? In this episode, I take a deep dive into a concept that I call “tender discipline,” which is the practice of taking a gentler attitude toward your productivity. I open the conversation with an explanation of why we get so obsessed with our ability to produce, or not produce, and how we can begin to unspool this mindset. Instead, embracing a new approach where we trust our innate energetic rhythms, work ethic, and goodness. Then, I take questions from listeners about how to invite more tender discipline into our days. Key takeaways from this conversation: How to be tender with yourself when you’re procrastinating Why now is a good time to cling less tightly to our goals How an “inputs retreat” can help you recover from burnout Why it’s a good idea to make a “keep doing” list How to feel like you’re doing “enough” Favorite Quotes “Tender discipline pushes back against this whole suite of ideas that have been embedded in us by our capitalist culture, about speed and efficiency and progress. And it pushes back against the idea that when we’re doing a task, the best way to do it is to get from here to there as quickly as possible. And then when you get there, you damn well better have a product to show for it. Just being you isn’t enough. It’s what you produce, that matters. That’s what capitalist culture teaches us. That we don’t have inherent value. That we have value only when we produce things.” “We live in this culture that is all about hustle, that’s all about exponential scale, all about hockey stick-like growth. We’re surrounded by a culture that says that it’s never enough. So we have these really outsize expectations and messages that we’re constantly receiving about what enough is at every level.” “We know it’s time to plant the seeds for a new world, for a new normal. And that starts, at home on a daily level, in our minds, with our internal dialogue, the way that we talk to ourselves, the way we move through our day. That’s where the ability to sustain ourselves starts. It starts with developing tender discipline with ourselves — with finding a balance between pouring our hearts into our work while also creating space for rest and renewal.” Sponsors Hover has a domain name for whatever you’re passionate about. Get 10% off your first domain name, and start laying the groundwork for your next big idea, by visiting hover.com/hurryslowly. HEY transforms email into something you want to use, not something you’re forced to deal with. Visit hey.com to find out how the friendly folks at Basecamp have completely reinvented email to make it effortless. Resources The articles and ideas that I mention in this epi: The Hurry Slowly episode “Who Are You Without the Doing?” David Cain’s “cupboard sheet” or “How to feel better when you don’t know what’s wrong” “I have a rule that…” and other pieces of good advice Hurry Slowly interview w/ Alex Pang on rest & renewal Call to Action If this episode sparked some new ideas for you, I would love your support. Subscribe to the show in iTunes and write us a review. Every rating helps us attract new listeners, which allows us to keep making the show! : ) You can write a review on your phone here: hurryslowly.co/mobilereview

How much of your identity depends on being at the office? As feature magazine pieces hail a new era of working from home, I talk with writer and editor Sean Blanda about his contrarian take on why working from home isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. In the process, we examine not just how much of our identity is wrapped up in work, but how much of our identity is wrapped up in going to work — in inhabiting a shared physical workspace. We discuss the psychic weight of working from home: the disciplined boundary-setting that’s required and the challenges of providing “evidence” that you’re doing your work, as well as the divide between the haves and have-nots that’s playing out behind the curtain of this shift to working from home. Key takeaways from this conversation: How working from home removes the space-specific context that gives our lives meaning Why it’s harder to show you’re “being productive” for certain jobs when working remotely How WFH erodes personal relationships and opportunities for mentorship The benefits of 3-D, real-world interactions on your career, your luck, and your skillset Why the COVID crisis and WFH could spark a renaissance of localism Favorite Quotes “I feel like when you exist in the same spot, it’s almost like your ghosts stack up. I have a hard time thinking of my home office as my workspace after a while. It’s just a place I’m existing, and I have trouble focusing. I resent how it turns happy places into work places. I have a tiny backyard here in the city, and I walk outside to take a break, and my backyard has stopped becoming the area where I barbecue and have fun, and now it’s like my break room.” “I find that, when I’m reminded of the full weight of my identity, I have trouble working. When I’m in my home and I’m reminded of the ways in which I am a husband or a brother or, I’m the guy who fixes things around the house, or I’m the guy who’s responsible for cleaning those dishes, or I have to prepare for the dinner that I’m getting later that day. And, by the way, I’m trying to work and answer these work calls. When that constant reminder of all those things is weighing on me, I don’t work as well.” “I see working from home as detachment. What community am I a part of? What is my relationship to those around me? This is why I’m such a believer in localism — in that I’m removing a possible community of people I could be a part of that live in the same area I do, that care about the same issues I do, whether that’s at work or in the town I live in, and we’re just splintering all across the country. The only thing we really have in common is that we all log into the same digital box every day and type things. It just feels like we’re losing a layer of community in a society where we’re already losing lots of layers of community.” Sponsors HEY transforms email into something you want to use, not something you’re forced to deal with. Visit hey.com to find out how the friendly folks at Basecamp have completely reinvented email to make it effortless. Resources The articles and ideas that we mention in this epi: Sean’s article, “Our Remote Work Future Is Going To Suck” Anne Helen Petersen’s “How Work Became an Inescapable Hellhole” Remote work is killing the hidden trillion-dollar office economy The nature of work after the COVID crisis: Too few low-wage jobs What the work-from-home boom means for your future Follow Sean on: Website | Newsletter | Twitter Call to Action If this episode sparked some new ideas for you, I would love your support. Subscribe to the show in iTunes and write us a review. Every rating helps us attract new listeners, which allows us to keep making the show! : ) You can write a review on your phone here: hurryslowly.co/mobilereview

Illustration by Nahuel Bardi. Most of us are drained. The “surge capacity” we called on early in the crisis is now depleted. What’s more, there was already a trend toward burnout in the US before 2020 ratcheted our stress through the roof. From my perspective, that means it’s high time to consider adopting a new attitude toward what it means to be “productive.” One where rest and tenderness are as much of a priority as speed and efficiency. Key takeaways from this meditation: How resilience relates to acceptance, even in the face of uncertainty Why now is the perfect time to re-examine our ideas about productivity How to move through your workday with more tenderness Go Deeper RESET, a cosmic tune-up for your workday. RESET is a course created by Hurry Slowly host Jocelyn K. Glei that shows you how to let go of productivity shame, be more tender with yourself, and get back in touch with the natural rhythms of your energy, your attention, and your creative flow. Registration re-opens on Sept 29th at reset-course.com. Get Jocelyn’s brainwaves in your inbox. If you like Hurry Slowly, you’ll love this twice-monthly email highlighting new ideas about how to be more creative, productive, and resilient.  Sign up at hurryslowly.co/newsletter. Favorite Quotes “We’re all feeling it. A strange, sort of ineffable, sense of energetic drag. Like you snagged your enthusiasm on something about six months back and as you slowly walked onwards deeper into this landscape of uncertainty, it’s been slowly unravelling.” “One of the qualities of people who are resilient is that they accept reality. Which seems almost funny because it’s so obvious. But accepting reality isn’t easy right now. And part of the reality that we need to accept is that we are under a massive amount of psychic, financial, political, and social pressure. And just wading through all the emotions and challenges that that brings up takes a lot of energy. Which means that we just have less bandwidth than we normally would to accomplish the things that we need to do.” “This pandemic is an opportunity to re-examine our attitudes toward productivity. We can take advantage of the magnifying powers of this moment to see the toxicity of some of our standard habits and routines, and perhaps begin to replace them with a more tender, humane approach to work.” Sponsors HEY transforms email into something you want to use, not something you’re forced to deal with. Visit hey.com to find out how the friendly folks at Basecamp have completely reinvented email to make it effortless. Resources The references and ideas I mention in this epi: Your Surge Capacity Is Depleted — It’s Why You Feel Awful Man Not Sure Why He Thought Most Psychologically Taxing Situation… The Hurry Slowly episode “Who Are You Without the Doing?” My course RESET, a cosmic tune-up for your workday Call to Action If this episode resonated with you, I would love your support. Subscribe to the show in iTunes and write us a review. Every rating helps us attract new listeners, which allows us to keep making the show! : ) You can write a review on your phone here: hurryslowly.co/mobilereview

Even though we must keep ourselves physically separate for the moment, it’s never been more obvious how interconnected we all are. In this episode, I talk with Sebene Selassie, a meditation teacher, a writer, and a friend, who has studied Buddhism for over 30 years. Her new book, You Belong, explores spirituality and humanity through the lens of belonging, making the case that accepting our own inter-connectedness is the surest route to accepting ourselves. In this wide-ranging conversation, we discuss the delusion of separation, which lies at the core of all feelings of not belonging; the Pali concept of papanca, or the mental chatter that keeps us from connecting to ourselves; how the thoughts of the dominant culture seep into our brains and dominate our thoughts; and how embodied awareness can help us manage physical and social pain better. Key takeaways from this conversation: Why our culture pulls us into patterns of domination and separation How the biases we carry are not our fault, but are our responsibility to mend Why resistance perpetuates our emotional and physical pain How to break out of the pathology of productivity Why we don’t have to make ourselves a “problem” to aspire to transformation Favorite Quotes “There’s this way when we actually spend time with, speak to, visit with friends from other communities, actually live in community with people that are different from us that we start to be able to see things from their perspective. I see people now trying to take in different media, trying to pay attention to different voices, and that’s helpful, but it’s actually those intimate relationships… You start to hear the experiences and witness how we’re treated differently, how it might feel to be different.” “Inherently if we feel separate, we’re going to go into domination patterns. That is the culture we’re steeped in — we’re steeped in a culture of comparison, of competition, of hierarchy.” “Meditation and contemplative practices have a bit of a paradoxical quality about them. There’s this almost magic transformation that happens when we allow something to have some attention and space. It can resolve itself. It’s actually our denial of things — ‘what you resist, persists’ —  or the mindfulness saying that ‘pain x resistance = suffering.’” Sponsors HEY transforms email into something you want to use, not something you’re forced to deal with. Visit hey.com to find out how the friendly folks at Basecamp have completely reinvented email to make it effortless. Hover has a domain name for whatever you’re passionate about. Get 10% off your first domain name, and start laying the groundwork for your next big idea by visiting hover.com/hurryslowly. Resources The references and ideas that we mention in this epi: Sebene’s new book, You Belong: A Call for Connection Ubuntu and personhood: “I am because you are” It Didn’t Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain Deb Dana: Befriending Your Nervous System Chela Davison, who coined “pathology of productivity” Follow Sebene on: Website | Newsletter | Instagram Call to Action If this episode sparked some new ideas for you, I would love your support. Subscribe to the show in iTunes and write us a review. Every rating helps us attract new listeners, which allows us to keep making the show! : ) You can write a review on your phone here: hurryslowly.co/mobilereview

What does it mean to be embodied in a moment where we can’t touch other humans? In this episode, I focus on the body with Rich Mhlanga, an incredibly talented massage therapist and friend, who works with Broadway actors, dancers, circus performers, and other top-notch athletes through his business Massage Beyond. His work has also been pivotal for me personally in terms of coming to inhabit my body more deeply. We talk about what self-care looks like in a world where we are largely isolated from touch, how to navigate the emotional shockwaves that are constantly rolling through our bodies, and how he’s taking care of himself and his body as a black man while navigating these tumultuous times. Key takeaways from this conversation: How to find emotional balance through physical healing Why our society tends to compartmentalize the body and its functions How keeping our emotions in takes a toll on the mental and physical body Why watching violent imagery is its own form of embodied trauma Ideas for ways to find release and not keep your emotions pent up Favorite Quotes “There has to be a level that you emotionally get to and you say, ‘Oh, this is the warning level. This is my check engine light. I can’t allow myself to get past that emotional spot and keep it in.’ We’re so used to attempting to keep it in.” “It’s interesting to watch people on a train or walking down the street. You can bump 12 people and not even register it because you’re just so used to being jostled so much and it’s not a big deal. That’s a good way to think about how out of touch we are with our body. Yes, it’s part of a defensive mechanism. You can’t possibly react to every one of those bumps. But at the same time, as much as you can desensitize to that… Someone giving you healthy touch, you’re now desensitized to that [as well]. You have to get that healthy touch four times, six times, eight times before your body starts to register it.” “We all are usually craving touch and COVID is one of those extremes that’s showing us how much we crave touch and interaction with humans — but that same sense is always there. It’s just less severe than it has been in the last three months.” Sponsors Basecamp is the all-in-one toolkit for working remotely. Start your free 30-day trial now and find out why it’s the perfect solution for remote teams at Basecamp.com. Hover has a domain name for whatever you’re passionate about. Get 10% off your first domain name, and start laying the groundwork for your next big idea, by visiting hover.com/hurryslowly. Resources The references and ideas that we mention in this epi: Rich Mhlanga’s practice Massage Beyond The Still Processing episode “So Y’all Finally Get It” w/ Jenna Wortham and Wesley Morris Elizabeth Alexander reflects on her seminal essay on Rodney King: “Endless Grief: The Spectacle of Black Bodies in Pain” The full Alexander essay, “Can You Be Black and Look at This?” can be found in The Black Interior Hurry Slowly interview w/ Sebene Selassie on Unravelling Your Inner Critic Follow Rich on: Website | Facebook | Instagram Call to Action If this episode resonated with you, I would love your support. Subscribe to the show in iTunes and write us a review. Every rating helps us attract new listeners, which allows us to keep making the show! : ) You can write a review on your phone here: hurryslowly.co/mobilereview

Illustration by Yukai Du for the Hi-Fi course. Anxiety and intuition live at polar opposite ends of the same spectrum. In other words, you can’t be experiencing both at the same time. In this meditation, I reflect on how intuition can be suppressed by the always-on, anxiety-driven lifestyle that has become the defacto operating mode for many of us. And how we can begin to re-open to that inner knowing by peeling back the layers of anxiety that have accrued from self-criticism, overwork, and creative misalignment. Key takeaways from this meditation: How technology and “big data” has led us to mistrust our intuition Why intuition wells up when we are truly present and in the body How retraining anxious thought patterns frees up our inner knowing Go Deeper Hi-Fi, a new course about tuning into the wisdom of the heart. Hi-Fi is a brand-new, community-driven course created by Hurry Slowly host Jocelyn K. Glei that invites you to come back into the body, open your heart, and turn up the volume on your intuition. Registration is open for a limited time through May 29th. Learn more at hifi-course.com. Get Jocelyn’s brainwaves in your inbox. If you like Hurry Slowly, you’ll love this twice-monthly email highlighting new ideas about how to be more creative, productive, and resilient. Sign up at hurryslowly.co/newsletter. Favorite Quotes “Intuition is all about being deeply connected to, and in your body, so that you can be present and tap into that deep inner knowing that is always with you. But anxiety pulls us out of the body. It pulls all of our energy up into the head, and we start to think that conscious reasoning is the only type of information available to us.” “Intuition is the incredibly powerful connected font of all of the actions that we take that are truly aligned with our highest purpose. Intuition is what fuels our most courageous acts and our most creative acts. Intuition guides us into a flow state from which we can make inspired decisions. Intuition leads us to make connections with exactly the right people at exactly the right time. Intuition leads us down the path to luck, and it gives us the strength to have faith.” Sponsors Hover has a domain name for whatever you’re passionate about. Get 10% off your first domain name, and start laying the groundwork for your next big idea, by visiting hover.com/hurryslowly. Resources The references and ideas I mention in this epi: The Hurry Slowly episode “Who Are You Without the Doing?” Caroline Myss’ book Anatomy of the Spirit My new course: Hi-Fi, a journey into the wisdom of the heart Call to Action If this episode sparked some new ideas, I would love your support. Subscribe to the show in iTunes and write us a review. Every rating helps us attract new listeners, which allows us to keep making the show! : ) You can write a review on your phone here: hurryslowly.co/mobilereview

This pandemic moment is asking us to truly reckon with the idea of uncertainty — challenging our neat narratives of the future and our notions about who we’re supposed to be. This episode’s guest is Mark Epstein, a fellow upstate New Yorker and author of the beautiful book Advice Not Given: A Guide to Getting Over Yourself, in which he explores the intersection of Western psychotherapy and Buddhism — and what each tradition has to offer us with regard to loosening the ego’s grip. In this conversation, we take a deep dive into how the pandemic is interrupting all the usual stories we tell ourselves, why it’s not unlike being on an unplanned meditation retreat, and how all this reclusive downtime beckons us — or maybe even forces us — to take a closer look at who we think we’re supposed to be. Key takeaways from this conversation: How the pandemic is interrupting (and aggravating) our identities as “productive” people The importance of resting with uncertainty and how it challenges our notions of the self How meditation can bring hidden thoughts to life & give us more choice about what we’re thinking Why this moment is asking us to reckon with the impact our behavior has on the world Open Your Heart Hi-Fi, tune into the wisdom of the heart. Hi-Fi is a new, community-focused course created by me — Hurry Slowly host Jocelyn K. Glei — that invites you to reconnect with your body, open your heart, and bring your intuition online. Learn more at hifi-course.com. Favorite Quotes “I think it’s so easy to extrapolate from this moment as if we know what’s going to happen in a week, or a month, or three months, or six months, or a year. And this is one of those situations. The Buddha was always talking about it, of the importance of uncertainty. That really, we don’t know what the next moment is going to bring.” “For myself, I feel like all those retreats that I’ve been on, they really help. Because this way of living is so much like being on retreat. You can sort of feel what the weather is going to be the next day, but you don’t know much more than that.” “In this time when people are much more secluded than they’re used to, when they’re quarantined, when they’re in the home, when they don’t quite know what to do with themselves, there’s a real opportunity to bring this quality of mindful awareness to the particulars of one’s life. There’s a real opportunity to be much more alive, and awake, and aware in one’s day-to-day life.” Sponsors Hover has a domain name for whatever you’re passionate about. Get 10% off your first domain name, and start laying the groundwork for your next big idea, by visiting hover.com/hurryslowly. Resources The references and ideas that we mention in this epi: Mark’s book: Advice Not Given: A Guide to Getting Over Yourself Sharon Salzberg makes me feel better Robert Thurman: Expanding your circle of compassion Jack Kornfield: A steady heart in the time of coronavirus The Ten Percent Happier meditation app After the Ecstasy, the Laundry by Jack Kornfield Donald Winnicott and the “holding environment” My new course Hi-Fi, tune into the wisdom of the heart Follow Mark at: Website | Facebook | Twitter Call to Action If this episode sparked some new ideas, I would love your support. Subscribe to the show in iTunes and write us a review. Every rating helps us attract new listeners, which allows us to keep making the show! : ) You can write a review on your phone here: hurryslowly.co/mobilereview

Illustration by Calvin Sprague We’re navigating a world filled with uncertainty and fear, and the urge to get pulled out of the present moment — and into anxiety — is extremely strong. In this mini-episode, I meditate on a theme that’s been bubbling up throughout Season 3: The idea that we need to heal ourselves before we can accept ourselves and be present. I share my personal journey into love and presence — and now pandemic-induced separation — and talk about learning to recognize the gifts that are right in front of us. Key takeaways from this meditation: Why we hold onto this idea of seeing ourselves as “broken” What being “ready” to accept the gifts in front of you really means How to stop postponing self-acceptance and see yourself as “enough” Go Deeper Get Jocelyn’s brainwaves in your inbox. If you like Hurry Slowly, you’ll love this twice-monthly email highlighting new ideas about how to be more creative, productive, and resilient.  Sign up at hurryslowly.co/newsletter. RESET, a cosmic tune-up for your workday. RESET is a course created by Hurry Slowly host Jocelyn K. Glei that shows you how to take a “heart-centered” approach to productivity and get back in touch with the natural rhythms of your energy, your attention, and your creative flow.  Learn more at reset-course.com. Favorite Quotes “A lot of us have this unexamined idea that when I clear these things up in the future, then I’ll show up. Then I’ll accept myself. Then I’ll bring my vulnerability to my partner. One of the problems with the ‘over-time’ approach is that we postpone acceptance until there’s a certain type of improvement.” —Bruce Tift “If we are to break out of this cycle that something is broken and must be fixed before we can accept ourselves. If we are to break out of this cycle that we have to accomplish this or that thing before we can accept ourselves. If we want to do that, then we also have to accept ourselves as deserving of love and contentment right now in the present moment. As being enough.” “It’s not a binary decision: Acceptance or healing. You can have one but you can’t have the other. It’s one of those complex contradictions you have to hold in the mind. It’s self-acceptance and healing at the same time. It’s self-acceptance and knowing that you can improve at the same time. It’s self-acceptance and being present even when everything around you is going totally off the rails.” Sponsors Hover has a domain name for whatever you’re passionate about. Get 10% off your first domain name, and start laying the groundwork for your next big idea, by visiting hover.com/hurryslowly. Resources The references and ideas I mention in this epi: Bruce Tift on our urge to postpone self-acceptance My interview with “L,” the ayahuasca facilitator/healer My interview with pleasure activist Adrienne Maree Brown The Hurry Slowly episode “Letting Go Isn’t Easy” Carmen Maria Machado’s book Her Body & Other Parties A new podcast I started for my girlfriend in Peru: Dear Ale Call to Action If this episode sparked some new ideas, I would love your support. Subscribe to the show in iTunes and write us a review. Every rating helps us attract new listeners, which allows us to keep making the show! : ) You can write a review on your phone here: hurryslowly.co/mobilereview

As Chani Nicholas said on a recent podcast episode, “Questions help orient you toward your own inner wisdom.” In this episode, I go deep on the value of questions with journalist Courtney E. Martin, an ardent believer in the idea that the unexamined life is not worth living and the author of The New Better Off, which investigates the ways in which we are reinventing the American dream through new approaches to work, community, rituals, and spirituality. In a wide-ranging conversation, we dig into the power of asking yourself new and unexpected questions, examining what a successful adult life looks like, and how to uncover what Courtney calls your “first question” — the core curiosity that carries you through life. Key takeaways from this conversation: 20 questions you can use for self-investigation How to uncover the “first question” that guides your life’s work Shifting your mindset from “What do you want to be when you grow up?” to “How do you want to be when you grow up?” How to reframe questions to activate your moral imagination A meditation on the question, “What is improvement?” Go Deeper RESET, a cosmic tune-up for your workday. RESET is a new course from Hurry Slowly host Jocelyn K. Glei that shows you how to take a “heart-centered” approach to productivity that’s intentional, energizing, and inspiring. Watch the 30-second trailer at reset-course.com. Get Jocelyn’s brainwaves in your inbox. If you like Hurry Slowly, you’ll love this twice-monthly email highlighting new ideas about how to be more creative, productive, and resilient. Sign up at hurryslowly.co/newsletter. Favorite Quotes “In a busy life, if you’re moving too fast, it’s incredibly easy to ask other people’s questions, and accept other people’s answers. To pause in those moments and say, ‘Okay, so this is what I’m being told, but what is my question about this moment I’m inside of and how might I want to navigate it differently?’” “Many people’s first questions derive from a sense of suffering — their feelings of profound loneliness as kids, or watching people hurt one another. Trying to understand why do people hurt each other? And how can we do it differently? I feel like we’re all these little kids walking around trying to make sense of the world and witnessing things that really don’t make sense.” “I think the more that we can get away from thinking of our calling as some linear thing with a concrete title, and more about the things that animate us, the questions that make us feel alive, the ways of being that make us feel most in alignment with who we were as kids — that’s the stuff that leads us to truly fulfilling work.” Sponsors Hover has a domain name for whatever you’re passionate about. Get 10% off your first domain name, and start laying the groundwork for your next big idea, by visiting hover.com/hurryslowly. Resources The references and ideas that we mention in this epi: What was your first question? 20+ questions to ask for 2020 Courtney’s book The New Better Off: Reinventing the American Dream The Hurry Slowly interview with Chani Nicholas Milan Kundera’s novel Slowness The Problem With Seeking the Best for Your Kids Stop Asking, and Answering, Other People’s Questions My online course RESET, a cosmic tune-up for your workday Follow Courtney at: Newsletter | Website | Twitter Call to Action If this episode sparked some new ideas, I would love your support. Subscribe to the show in iTunes and write us a review. Every rating helps us attract new listeners, which allows us to keep making the show! : ) You can write a review on your phone here: hurryslowly.co/mobilereview

Don’t we all want to know what our life’s purpose is? While some of us find it naturally at a young age, for others, it’s a long, difficult journey that often requires a few more wrong turns than we’d like. In this episode, I talk with writer and astrologist Chani Nicholas, whose work has been a powerful guiding force for me for many years. Chani recently released a new book called You Were Born For This: Astrology for Radical Self-Acceptance, and we sat down for a deep conversation about how to uncover and live out your purpose as well as set the boundaries necessary to protect it. Key takeaways from this conversation: Why many of us are late bloomers when it comes to finding our purpose How the imprints we grow up with can impact our ability to access our creative potential The power of being given permission to use your talents The difference between your “inner critic” and your “healing voice” Why intimacy is impossible without boundaries Go Deeper Get Jocelyn’s brainwaves in your inbox. If you like Hurry Slowly, you’ll love this twice-monthly email highlighting new ideas about how to be more creative, productive, and resilient. Sign up at hurryslowly.co/newsletter. RESET, a cosmic tune-up for your workday. RESET is a course created by Hurry Slowly host Jocelyn K. Glei that shows you how to move from a speed-obsessed way of working to a heart-centered way of working. It will teach you how to let go of “productivity shame,” tap into the natural rhythms of your energy and attention, and get into your creative flow. Learn more at reset-course.com. Favorite Quotes “Intimacy is impossible without boundaries because if I don’t tell you what’s not okay for me, if I am afraid to say no, then I can’t actually be fully present. I can’t receive what you want to give me because I feel like I need to be dishonest or I have to betray myself in some way.” “It’s really about what you bring to your work because a million other people are going to do some version of what you’re doing. And the only real power or “je ne sais quoi” that we have in terms of our professional self is the way in which we bring ourselves to our work.” “Sometimes we just need someone else to say, ‘What would happen if you just suspended disbelief that nothing in life works out for you?’ What might occur if you actually allowed this dream, desire, talent to have room to breathe and grow and see the sunlight and get fed and exist in yourself and in your world and in your imagination and on your drawing board and in your calendar?” Sponsor Hover has a domain name for whatever you’re passionate about. Get 10% off your first domain name, and start laying the groundwork for your next big idea, by visiting hover.com/hurryslowly. Resources The references and ideas that we mention in this epi: Chani’s new book You Were Born For This: Astrology for Radical Self-Acceptance Chani’s 2020 “The Year Ahead for Your Sign” course Ram Dass on death and “taking off the tight shoe” The Hurry Slowly episode “Letting Go Isn’t Easy” Chani’s mentor, astrologist Demetra George My online course RESET, a cosmic tune-up for your workday Follow Chani at: Website | Twitter | Instagram Call to Action If this episode sparked some new ideas, I would love your support. Subscribe to the show in iTunes and write us a review. Every rating helps us attract new listeners, which allows us to keep making the show! : ) You can write a review on your phone here: hurryslowly.co/mobilereview

Artwork by Chia-Chi Yu. As we turn the corner into 2020, I take a look at one simple practice that will help you nurture your ideas, find your purpose, and heal. In this mini-episode, I examine how we can apply the concept of “holding space” to the way we move through our daily lives. What would it feel like to be open, present, and allowing in our workflow and with ourselves? Key takeaways from this meditation: The 4 ways you can hold space: time space, idea space, ritual space, and heart space The benefits of holding space for yourself without the expectation of productivity Ideas for rituals you might engage in to invite more spaciousness into your life Go Deeper Get Jocelyn’s brainwaves in your inbox. If you like Hurry Slowly, you’ll love this twice-monthly email highlighting new ideas about how to be more creative, productive, and resilient. Sign up at hurryslowly.co/newsletter. RESET, a cosmic tune-up for your workday. RESET is a course created by Hurry Slowly host Jocelyn K. Glei that shows you how to let go of productivity shame and get back in touch with the natural rhythms of your energy, your attention, and your creative flow. Watch the 30-second trailer at reset-course.com. Favorite Quotes “Without the space of time, there is no possibility of anything new unfolding — whether that be a creative project, or a new insight about your career path, or a healing of some wound that’s holding you back.” “As the mindfulness teacher Steve Hickman says: ‘The beatings will continue until morale improves.’ This is the attitude that many of us take towards ourselves. We think if our discipline is imperfect, perhaps we can improve it by criticizing or belittling ourselves until, ashamed enough, we decide to improve our performance.” “So much of what goes into making positive change, generating new ideas, or healing yourself doesn’t look like anything is happening because it’s all happening internally, in the unconscious, guided by the natural wisdom of the body. It’s a process of gestation, in which 95% of the work happens deep beneath the surface.” Sponsors Hover has a domain name for whatever you’re passionate about. Get 10% off your first domain name, and start laying the groundwork for your next big idea, by visiting hover.com/hurryslowly. Resources The references and ideas I mention in this epi: Making the Gods Work for You by Caroline Casey A meditation for offering yourself kindness from Steve Hickman The Hurry Slowly episode on “tender discipline” Call to Action If this episode sparked some new ideas, I would love your support. Subscribe to the show in iTunes and write us a review. Every rating helps us attract new listeners, which allows us to keep making the show! : ) You can write a review on your phone here: hurryslowly.co/mobilereview

Activist adrienne maree brown on how we define pleasure, the wisdom of the body, and what it looks like when you have “enough.”

Writer Mira Jacob on creativity, self-promotion, and transforming the hardest conversations of her life into a stunning graphic memoir.

A deep conversation about healing, self-transformation, and how to unpack the neurotic stories we tell ourselves about who we are.

An intro to the new season of Hurry Slowly on waking up, letting go, and the ups and downs of pursuing personal transformation.

Journalist Rob Walker on attention, originality, and why noticing the things other people are missing is essential to the creative process.

Artist Jenny Odell on the power of actions that can’t be optimized and withholding your attention as an act of resistance.

How the desire to be “productive” metastasizes into a toxic form of work shame that makes you feel like you’re never doing enough.