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How to Split a Toaster: A divorce podcast about saving your relationships
42 minutes | 3 days ago
The Difficult Divorce
The healthy post-divorce is a perennial favorite around these parts. But what happens when the divorce process is not so peaceful? We’re talking about exchanges of power in the divorce process. Subversive or passive aggressive texts, emails, and calls. Secrets about money and property. Fights. They all lead to a more combative and complicated divorce, and may lead to questions of safety. What can you count on from your legal team, and what’s on you to resolve? That’s this week as we take on the antagonistic divorce on the Toaster.
38 minutes | 10 days ago
A Divorce Lawyer’s Guide to Dating Apps
Heart? Swipe? Like? When it's time to get back into the sea after your divorce, how do you know where to find the right fish? This week on the show, divorce lawyer Seth Nelson shares his experience and insight into getting yourself back out there. First, the tech. There are many, many apps to help you get connected and learning to use them isn’t just a nice skill, it’s a requirement. How do you handle that first date with someone new? How about intimacy? Introducing kids? Travel? If you’re facing down some monster social and relationship anxiety, you’re not alone! Listen in this week and let’s get you back out there! Links & Notes Best Dating Apps for 2021 • PC Mag
47 minutes | 17 days ago
Mediation for a Reduced Conflict Divorce with Tami Sbar
Tami Sbar is a leading divorce mediator in Tampa, Florida, but she took a roundabout journey through the law to get there. She started her legal career as an Assistant State Attorney, working in both the domestic violence and the sex crimes divisions, in addition to felony court. She has her badge to prove it. After experiencing her own divorce, she became interested in the practice of family law, and in particular, the value of mediation as a priceless benefit for divorcing couples and their families. Today, she dedicates her time and expertise to divorcing couples full time. This week on the show, she shares some of the intricacies involved with mediation. Do you need a lawyer if you’re moving through mediation? How does a mediator change the experience of court? How does a mediator deal with the imbalance of power in relationships? All this and so much more this week from a true expert and practitioner in the field. Links & Notes Sbar Mediation
49 minutes | 24 days ago
Our Happy Divorce: Building a Strong Post-Divorce Family with Ben Helfond and Nikki DeBartolo
Our guests today have worked hard to craft a loving and tight-knit family. Their effort to create that family has only intensified since their divorce in 2007. In an effort to help others see what’s possible, Ben Heldfond and Nikki DeBartolo created “Our Happy Divorce,” a book, channel, and community dedicated to building a healthy, happy, post-divorce modern family. This week on the show, Ben and Nikki share their perspectives on building a family as family membership changes. They share their dating stories, and how they introduced new partners successfully to the family unit. And, most important, they tell us how their efforts are guided by their love and dedication to the children in both their lives. This passion has made their family an aspiration for others and we’re thrilled to have them on the show with us today. ### Links & Notes - [*Our Happy Divorce* by Ben Helfond & Nikki DeBartolo][book] - [Subscribe to Our Happy Divorce on YouTube][channel] - [OurHappyDivorce.com][site] [book]:https://www.amazon.com/Our-Happy-Divorce-Marriage-Together/dp/1631779974/ref=sr_1_1?sr=8-1&keywords=Our%2BHappy%2BDivorce&tag=trustoryfm-20&qid=1568927277 [channel]:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDavSqivnV-rmzDaX7L7P2w [site]:https://ourhappydivorce.com
46 minutes | 2 months ago
Mediation Online: How the pandemic made your divorce less stressful with Susan Guthrie
The pandemic has been hard. On everyone. But one surprising silver lining: enterprising mediators have made the process easier, faster, and cheaper in many cases as a result of moving online. Sure, it might be just another Zoom meeting you have to sit through for hours. But it's a Zoom meeting from the comfort of your home. And strategic mediators are learning new skills they're using to manage online mediation to the great benefit of the separating party. To learn more, we've invited Susan Guthrie to join us this week. Susan is a top family law and mediation attorney legal podcaster! She’s a leading dispute resolution professional, serving on the Executive Council of the American Bar Association’s (ABA) Section of Dispute Resolution as the Membership Officer and to be a Co-Chair of the Mediation Committee and Annual Advanced Mediation Skills Institute. More than 17,000 dispute resolution professionals have benefited from her programs through Learn to Mediate Online®, and she’s host both The Divorce & Beyond Podcast for divorcing couples and the Learn to Mediate Online Podcast for legal professionals. Links & Notes Learn to Mediate Online Divorce in a Better Way The Divorce & Beyond Podcast Learn to Mediate Online Podcast
43 minutes | 2 months ago
Navigating Gray Divorce in the Family with authors Carol Hughes & Bruce Fredenburg
According to our guests today, late-in-life divorcées represent an unserved population. The complexities that come with navigating the divorce process, from adapting to a legal and financial system to communicating with the myriad relationships in and outside the family. How will you split a lifetime of assets? And most important to authors Carol Hughes and Bruce Fredenburg, how will you help your adult children and their children adapt to this new normal? Our guests today are authors of Home will Never Be the Same: A Guide for Adult Children of Gray Divorce. Carol Hughes and Bruce Fredenberg have spent years in their practices supporting those facing the shockwave of gray divorce in the family. “We wanted to give a voice to the adult children whose parents are divorcing ... Some of these individuals are single; some are married. Some have children of their own. All of them are in different stages of shock, fear, and sudden, dramatic change. We wanted them to know that they are not alone, that we hear their pain, and that we can provide them with solutions.” Carol and Bruce join us today to share some of their work with those facing a gray divorce as a partner in it, or a child and grandchild of it. Links & Notes Learn More about Dr. Carol Hughes Learn More about Bruce Fredenburg, M.S., L.M.F.T
31 minutes | 2 months ago
Connecting — and RE-connecting — After Separation with Connection Coach Rachael Jaye
When one of us suffers, we all suffer. So says our guess, Rachael Jaye. Jaye is a certified Connection Coach and today she’s going to talk to us about her work helping to rehabilitate intimacy lost in separation. So, exactly what is a Connection Coach, and why might you need one? When we move through divorce, when trust is tested or broken, we might experience a loss of our ability exist in the space of connection or intimacy with other people. And, because relationships tend to break down slowly, over years, it’s not often clear what connection skills have eroded along the way. This week on the show we talk all about this, why relationships break down, how our ability to communicate authentically is dependent on our ability to connect intimately. About Rachael Jaye Rachael Jaye is The Connection Coach. Her belief is that when one of us suffers, we all suffer; yet healing is available when we experience genuine connection with others. As a certified Cuddlist and Connection Specialist, she’s a pro at creating a safe space in her connection sessions, and also offers coaching around cultivating authentic relationships. While her techniques apply universally, Rachael specializes in supporting men’s mental and emotional health specifically as it pertains to their relationships. She’s developed support programs designed to meet a client where they’re at, whether simply looking for someone to listen to and accept them, or desiring tools to reignite the intimacy in their relationship. She loves theatre, rooting for her Niners, and engaging intentionally with strangers — but not like a creeper! Links & Notes -Find Rachael at HKR Coaching -Follow Rachael Jaye on LinkedIn -Follow Rachael Jaye on Instagram -Follow Rachael Jaye on Facebook
45 minutes | 2 months ago
The Emotional Divorce with Dr. Margaret Rutherford
Divorce, by definition, is damaging. Taking apart a relationship impacts us far beyond the law. Today on the show, clinical psychologist Dr. Margaret Rutherford joins us to talk about how the stresses of divorce can sneak up on us in ways we might not expect. In addition to her practice, she’s the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism that Masks Your Depression, and host of The SelfWork Podcast. Margaret, welcome to the Toaster. About Dr. Margaret Rutherford Dr. Margaret Rutherford, a clinical psychologist, has practiced for twenty-six years in Fayetteville, Arkansas. Earning the 2009 Arkansas Private Practitioner of the Year award for her volunteer work at a local free health clinic, she began blogging and podcasting in 2012 to destigmatize mental illness and educate the public about therapy and treatment. With her compassionate and common-sense style, her work can be found on her website, as well as HuffPost, Psych Central, Psychology Today, The Mighty, the Gottman Blog and others. She hosts a weekly podcast, The SelfWork Podcast with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. And her book, Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism that Masks Your Depression, is published by New Harbinger and available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble or your local bookstore. Links & Notes Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression by Margaret Rutherford About Dr. Margaret Rutherford Subscribe to The SelfWork Podcast Recommended Reading: Coming Apart by Daphne Rose Kingma
46 minutes | 3 months ago
Staging your Epic Comeback with Divorce Coach Nikki Bruno
Are you ready to stage your Epic Comeback? Then it’s time for you to meet Nikki Bruno, divorce coach. “Get over your divorce before your divorce is over.” So says divorce coach Nikki Bruno in one of the programs she offers, guiding participants through the divorce process with a coach’s attention. And as a coach, she is dedicated to the internal work, the processing required to move through the grief of conflict, anxiety, fear, depression, and grief that comes alongside the legal separation. This week on the show, Nikki walks us through the work of a coach and how the divorce coach can work alongside the legal process of the divorce itself. About Nikki Bruno Nikki Bruno is an empowerment coach and founder of The Epic Comeback™. Her experience of reclaiming her power after a high-conflict divorce inspired her to help others do the same. Bruno is a thought leader on high-conflict divorce, emotional abuse, intuition, and mompreneurship. She is also a 20-year veteran of the publishing industry and a published author. Bruno holds degrees from Princeton and Harvard Universities. She’s been featured on TV news channels worldwide and in Forbes, Reader’s Digest, Authority Magazine, Cosmopolitan, and other outlets. A single mom of two, Bruno loves scuba diving, traveling, salsa dancing, and helping women (re)discover how incredible they are. Links & Notes Learn more about Nikki Bruno Subscribe to Niki’s Podcast: The Epic Comeback™
42 minutes | 3 months ago
An App for Saving Your Relationships with Fayr founder Michael Daniels
A journey that started with divorce led home designer Michael Daniels to a career change, a long escalator, and a drive to reduce conflict for everyone facing the challenge of co-parenting. Today he joins us in the Toaster to tell us all about the fruits of his work: Fayr. “Family Advocacy is Your Responsibility” — or Fayr — is an app dedicated to making the experience of co-parenting better through communication, argument diffusion, and emotional support. With features like co-parenting calendars, expense tracking, geo-check-ins, and encrypted files, it’s the perfect tool for managing complex post-divorce families. Even better for your legal team: just using it to document your activities as a co-parent creates a log of admissible material documenting your relationships with your former spouse and your kids. Beyond the app itself, Michael tells the story of his experience pitching Jessica Alba, Wil.i.am, Gary Vaynerchuck, and Gwyneth Paltrow on the Apple show, “Planet of the Apps.” His pitch earned funding and an advisor from one in the group and we’ll hear about their relationship on the show this week. Links & Notes Fayr – Sign up with the code “coparent” and get 20% off. But even better, send an email to Michael@fayr.com with the word “Toaster” in the email and he’ll extend two months free.
36 minutes | 3 months ago
Life as a Divorcée
We've talked to a string of guests, all specialists in some aspect of the divorce process supporting the legal process itself. And beyond the legal process, we’ve covered mental and emotional health support, how to protect your kids in the divorce process, how to redecorate, and even how to figure out who gets the family dog. This week, we’re finally talking to someone for whom all this matters most. Jamie Ainsworth is a recent divorcée and sits down in the Toaster to talk about her experience getting divorced — the ups, the downs, and everything in between.
43 minutes | 3 months ago
But What About the Dog?: Karis Nafte & Pet Custody Issues
Following up on last week’s conversation about dividing personal property, we realized that pets are considered property too. But you can’t actually split them, so what do you do? Turns out, that’s what the Pet Custody Expert is for. We invite Karis Nafte to the Toaster, a dog trainer and animal specialist who is also an internationally accredited family mediator who helps people figure out what Fido wants. Karis recognized the need for ‘dog centered mediation’ during divorce and now combines her wealth of experience of dogs and family pets with mediation to help her clients make the best decision for their dog’s long-term wellbeing. She collaborates with mediators and attorneys worldwide as well as offering regular webinars to educate divorce professionals about pets and divorce.
30 minutes | 4 months ago
The Momentous Matter of Material: Dividing Personal Property
You have split your schedule. You’ve untangled custody. You feel like you’re on top of the thousand tiny decisions that face you during your divorce process. And still, you stare down the bear: how do you split your stuff? It’s not easy. It’s emotional and exhausting. And it asks much of you in the form of patience and compromise. This week on the show, Seth shares strategies for approaching your personal property that may make your experience with your attorney, your mediator, and even your judge a little bit easier.
42 minutes | 4 months ago
Protecting the Smallest Voices: Courtney Bowes and the Guardian ad Litem
From deep in the files labeled, “people you didn’t know you needed in your corner during your divorce,” we bring you the Guardian ad Litem. We welcome Courtney Bowes to the Toaster, a Guardian ad Litem who works with children to ensure their voices don’t get lost in an otherwise noisy process. Courtney has practiced family law exclusively since graduating from the University of Florida Levin College of Law in 2004. She has served as the featured lecturer at the Tampa Center for Women and the Stetson Law School Family Law Society. **Links & Notes** - [Bowes Family Law](https://bowesfamilylaw.com)
34 minutes | 4 months ago
Healthy Financial Conversations for a Heathy Divorce with Rhonda Noordyk
Rhonda Noordyk is the host of the Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast and CEO of the Women’s Financial Wellness Center. In her work, she helps women ask tough questions so that they get the answers that they need to navigate the divorce process. This week on the Toaster, Rhonda shares her insights on financial awareness in the marriage and why it is so important to a healthy communication practice, and a healthy divorce. Her practice is just a part one resource in the process, so she shares her recommendations around building your divorce team with counseling and insurance specialists and more. **Links & Notes** - [Women’s Financial Wellness Center](https://www.wfwcdivorce.com) - [Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/divorce-conversations-for-women/id1368648405)
36 minutes | 4 months ago
How Not to Be an A-Hole In Your Marriage with Brian Ronalds
Brian Ronalds is an actor turned writer/producer/director and is half of “The Ronalds Brothers." You can see Brian in the horror-comedy, Netherbeast Incorporated, directed by his brother, Dean, and in many other credits which do NOT include why he’s with us in the Toaster today. Brian joins us as author of a series of books designed to guide you through your marriage assuming that you don’t actually want it to end: How Not to be an A-Hole Husband and Lose Your Wife, and (among others) it’s partner, How Not to be an A-hole Wife and Lose your Husband. The books present the journey of rebuilding your marriage in the form of brief parables, directives to explore over thirty days aimed to refocus on what matters between you and your spouse: the relationships itself. They come from a deeply personal place for Brian, modeling the experience he wished he’d had as he was navigating the dissolution of his own marriage. **Links & Notes** - [_How Not to be an A-Hole Husband and Lose Your Wife_ (A-Hole Series) (Volume 1) by Brian](https://www.amazon.com/Hole-Husband-Lose-Your-Wife/dp/1515100219/ref=sr_1_5?dchild=1&sr=8-5&qid=1609432957&keywords=how%2Bnot%2Bto%2Bbe%2Ban%2Ba-hole&sprefix=How%2Bnot%2Bto%2Bbe%2Ban%2Ba-%252Caps%252C216&tag=trustoryfm-20&crid=N6HSITHMLKB0) - [_How Not to be an A-Hole Wife and Lose Your Husband_ (A-Hole Series) (Volume 2) by Brian Ronalds](https://www.amazon.com/Hole-Wife-Lose-Your-Husband/dp/1537190350/ref=pd_bxgy_img_2/133-7782355-2171056?_encoding=UTF8&refRID=QW6ENZ7B041GBWQ5XCQT&pd_rd_r=00b230b1-5610-43a4-842a-13a5f0f804bb&psc=1&pf_rd_r=QW6ENZ7B041GBWQ5XCQT&tag=trustoryfm-20&pf_rd_p=f325d01c-4658-4593-be83-3e12ca663f0e&pd_rd_w=vOnD9&pd_rd_i=1537190350&pd_rd_wg=8R8I2) - [Brian Ronalds — IMDB](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1824654/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0)
53 minutes | 5 months ago
CrossTalk Holiday Bonus: The Law in Film
It’s time to cross wires! This week on the show, Pete and Seth bring Andy Nelson of The Next Reel Film Podcast to talk about their favorite experiences of the law in film. Part of CrossTalk from TruStory FM. The Next Reel Film Podcasts have been covering film and popular culture since 2011, dissecting movies in obsessive detail. They've even covered legal movies, but only as ignoramuses in the audience. This week, they get to find out how much they got right, and how much they should care. We all know Seth's love of movies, even if he doesn't always back it up with an encyclopedic knowledge of industry trivia. This week, law school will finally pay off as he teaches the movie guys a thing or two. **Seth** 1. ⭐ *[My Cousin Vinny](https://www.amazon.com/My-Cousin-Vinny-Joe-Pesci/dp/B00517FIEA/ref=sr_1_3?sr=8-3&tag=trustoryfm-20&keywords=my%2Bcousin%2Bvinny&dchild=1&qid=1607736348)* 2. ⭐ *[The Paper Chase](https://www.amazon.com/Paper-Chase-Timothy-Bottoms/dp/B0040JKGWE/ref=sr_1_1?sr=8-1&tag=trustoryfm-20&keywords=The%2BPaper%2BChase&dchild=1&qid=1607736398)* (1973) 3. *[A Few Good Men](https://www.amazon.com/Few-Good-Men-Wolfgang-Bodison/dp/B008Y787W4/ref=sr_1_1?sr=8-1&tag=trustoryfm-20&keywords=a%2BFew%2Bgood%2Bmen&dchild=1&qid=1607736421)* 4. *[Intolerable Cruelty](https://www.amazon.com/Intolerable-Cruelty-George-Clooney/dp/B00AGDNII2/ref=sr_1_2?sr=8-2&tag=trustoryfm-20&keywords=Intolerable%2BCruelty&dchild=1&qid=1607736441)* **Pete** 1. 🌟*[12 Angry Men](https://www.amazon.com/12-Angry-Men-Henry-Fonda/dp/B0088T3EGM/ref=sr_1_4?sr=8-4&tag=trustoryfm-20&keywords=12%2BAngry%2BMen&dchild=1&qid=1607736464)* (1957) 2. *[Chicago](https://www.amazon.com/Chicago-Catherine-Zeta-Jones/dp/B003QS62SM/ref=sr_1_3?sr=8-3&tag=trustoryfm-20&keywords=chicago&dchild=1&qid=1607736484)* (2002) 3. ⭐ *[To Kill a Mockingbird](https://www.amazon.com/Kill-Mockingbird-Gregory-Peck/dp/B009CGCWHM/ref=sr_1_4?sr=8-4&tag=trustoryfm-20&keywords=To%2Bkill%2Ba%2Bmockingbird&dchild=1&qid=1607736505)* (1962) 4. *[Reversal of Fortune](https://www.amazon.com/Reversal-Fortune-Glenn-Close/dp/B003ZC0S8O/ref=sr_1_2?sr=8-2&tag=trustoryfm-20&keywords=reversal%2Bof%2Bfortune&dchild=1&qid=1607736526)* (1990) **Andy** 1. *[Miracle on 34th Street](https://www.amazon.com/Miracle-34th-Street-Maureen-OHara/dp/B003NGTYPA/ref=sr_1_3?sr=8-3&tag=trustoryfm-20&keywords=miracle%2Bon%2B34th%2Bstreet&dchild=1&qid=1607736548)* (1934) 2. *[Kramer vs. Kramer](https://www.amazon.com/Kramer-vs-Meryl-Streep/dp/B002P7BULE/ref=sr_1_1?sr=8-1&tag=trustoryfm-20&keywords=Kramer%2Bvs%2Bkramer&dchild=1&qid=1607736567)* 3. *[Liar Liar](https://www.amazon.com/Liar-Jim-Carrey/dp/B002H1RP1C/ref=sr_1_2?sr=8-2&tag=trustoryfm-20&keywords=liar%2BLiar&dchild=1&qid=1607736591)* 4. *[The Accused](https://www.amazon.com/Accused-Kelly-McGillis/dp/B00AALZCA2/ref=sr_1_2?sr=8-2&tag=trustoryfm-20&keywords=The%2BAccused&dchild=1&qid=1607736604)*
36 minutes | 5 months ago
The Pieces of Your Divorce Puzzle
Your divorce is a mystery. From the day you decide to pursue it to the day you and your former spouse sign on the dotted line and go your separate ways, it is a process that is unique to you and your specific situation. What’s more, it is as much a mystery to your attorney as it is to you. Discovery and mediation reveal the specific characteristics that make up your divorce, much like the pieces of a puzzle, until the picture is finally revealed. Along the way, you’ll be challenged to make peace with this process and find the will to trust those working hard to help you. It won’t be easy. It will feel overwhelming. But there is an end. This week on the show, we’re talking all about the puzzle that is your divorce. Start with the edges, find the corners, and move forward one piece at a time. ß
35 minutes | 5 months ago
How Do You Break the News to Family & Friends?
You might find yourself asking, “when will I get to the other side?” Divorce is long, but it’s a process. And processes absolutely come to an end. As hard as it is while you’re in it, as foggy as the end might seem, it’s out there. Along the way, you’ll come face to face with a lot of feelings. But they’re not your feelings. And that can get confusing. Parents may get mad about the divorce. Grandparents will feel loss about the grandkids. Dear friends will want to support you, people you thought were dear friends will pick sides, and of course you’ll be dealing with the complications of the actual divorce process and might just have your own feelings about your soon-to-be former spouse to live through. This week on the show, we’re talking all about breaking the news to friends and family and how to manage boundaries appropriately with each as you reach for the end of the divorce process.
33 minutes | 6 months ago
Let’s start with the hard stuff: the bravest thing you can do is stand up for yourself and move forward. This week, we’re going to talk about the big piece of your divorce puzzle that is going to stand in the way of you doing just that: your relationships. What’s going to happen to your kids and their relationship with former grandparents? Step- and former step-spouses? Former step-siblings? What rights exist to keep these family relationships together? Like ripples in a pond, families big and small alike experience a complex emotional re-wiring when met with divorce. If you’re a party getting the divorce, this part is going to be hard. This week on the show, we’re talking all about the tapestry of relationships you have made and will undoubtedly unravel as you wind your way through the divorce process.
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