Created with Sketch.
His Plus Hers Equals OURS
14 minutes | May 29, 2014
How to say NO! (politely) to an invitation if it’s not in the budget. Better Conversations on Money and Marriage with Derek and Carrie Olsen Ep. 014
"How do we politely say no to invitations that cost us money that isn't in the budget?" -Bob and Shirley. Dear Bob and Shirley, Thanks for this question, we like it. It has all the elements of a great question... drama, adventure, intrigue. Carrie and I had more fun answering this question than we should have been allowed to. We hope you find our response helpful, or at least fun. -Derek, Carrie, Amelie. ...Having Better Conversations on Money and Marriage Question for you, the reader/listener... How would you answer this question? Let us know, down below. If you have a question for us, let us have it! Ask your question here. Subscribe, share, rate, and review on iTunes Introductionist: Stephanie O'Brien As a career and life coach, I am able to truly make a difference in the world and help guide other’s to achieve the abundant life that everyone has the potential to live-including an enriching and fulfilling career. I have helped others who are stuck in life and/or careers they do not like uncover their purpose and apply it daily to fulfilling, meaningful and prosperous life work.
14 minutes | May 22, 2014
WE ARE PARENTS! Better Conversations on Money and Marriage with Derek and Carrie Olsen Ep. 013
We are alive and still half sane. Why is this so incredible? Because we have a six week old baby girl! We are in love... ...with her... ...and each other. On this episode, Carrie and I pop-interview each other. We ask each other three surprise questions on being first time parents. Some of the answers are deep, some of the answers involve Bill Cosby. Relive the birthday of our daughter with this slide show/video. (Nothing graphic here, don't worry about it.) Amelie's Birth Story from Anecdotally Yours (Jeff Short) on Vimeo. Subscribe, share, rate, and review on iTunes Inroductionist: Justin and Trishia Davis from Refine Us marriage ministries. Justin & Trisha Davis know all too well the dangers of settling for an ordinary marriage. Their own failure to recognize the warning signs almost resulted in the end of their marriage, their family and their ministry. Justin and Trisha are bloggers, authors, speakers and founders of RefineUs Ministries. Sharing their story of pain, loss and redemption, RefineUs is igniting a movement to build healthy marriages and families. They are the co-authors of their first book, Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn’t Good Enough.
21 minutes | May 1, 2014
One Step Forward Better Conversations on Money and Marriage with Derek and Carrie Olsen Ep. 012
Let's take one step forward, together. (Tweet this) Carrie and I would like to encourage you and your spouse to do just that, take one step forward. Taking just one small step forward financially can get the ball rolling, increase confidence, and make a huge impact on your finances and your marriage. Starting small is all that is needed to get going. Listen to this episode for some bone-crushing inspiration. Carrie and I also talk about a few things that we have done in the past 6 months to move forward financially. And finally, the promised list of books and resources to help you increase your financial intelligence. Books: Rich Dad Poor Dad Thou Shall Prosper Total Money Makeover Money: God or Gift Plastic Donuts 48 Days to the Work You Love Podcasts: Freakomonics Cash Car Convert Smart Passive Income 48Days Online Radio Show with Dan Miller If you have been enjoying The Better Conversations Podcast, we would love to hear from you. Consider leaving a review and a rating on iTunes. Introductionist: James Kinson, The Cash Car Convert I have owned 20 vehicles over the last 40 years, not including those purchased for a spouse or child, each purchase has taught me something about the process of buying and selling cars. I have come to believe people spend too much on their cars and put their families future at risk going in debt. I see too much belief in the old myth that “I will always have car payments, so I might as well drive something nice.” Cash Car Convert Podcast
17 minutes | Apr 17, 2014
More important than who you marry? (Hint: How you choose to treat him or her) Ep. 011
More important than who you marry? How you choose to treat them. (Tweet this) The person you marry will change over time. So, you (almost literally) won't be married to the same person in 10 or 20 years from now. What happens when the right person changes into the 'wrong' person? You don't have control over how that person changes or who they become, but you do have control over how you choose to treat him or her. Let's say that you marry the wrong person, how you treat that person doesn't become less important. Let's say that you marry the right person, are you now allowed to treat him or her poorly? No! How you treat the right person is still more important than simply marrying the right person. Right person or wrong person, how you treat him or her is more important than if you 'got lucky'. Right person or wrong person doesn't give you a reason to treat him or her poorly. How you choose to treat your partner could even turn a 'wrong' person into a 'right' person. Look inward first before claiming to have married the wrong person. And how about you? Are you looking inward and working on being a right person? Join us this May for the Money and Marriage Webinar Series If you have been enjoying The Better Conversations Podcast, we would love to hear from you. Consider leaving a review and a rating on iTunes. Introductionists: Tony and Lisa DiLorenzo. Tony & Alisa DiLorenzo created ONE Extraordinary Marriage to educate, entertain, encourage, and inspire YOU to have mind-blowing intimacy in your marriage. This is our #1 priority. We believe that your marriage matters. Whether you listen to our podcast, read our articles, or connect with us through social media, we hope that ONE Extraordinary Marriage enhances your marriage.
28 minutes | Apr 10, 2014
Eye To Eye: Better Conversations on Money and Marriage with Derek and Carrie Olsen Ep. 010
Seeing eye to eye with your partner on money doesn't just happen. (Tweet this) What does a married couple do when one partner has decided to spend some time in the finance dept and the other partner isn't convinced? Or worse, feels attacked and gets offended? In this episode we explore how to bring up the money talk with your partner. When you are the one about to bring up money, first off, good for you! You might be excited about all the possibilities of a better financial future, that's great! Let's make sure that you don't hit your partner over the head with your excitement. Your partner might mistake your excitement as an act of aggression. Slowing down and approaching your partner well will make the conversation go smooth. On the other hand, you might be less than excited to bring up the money talk. You might not like what you see on your bank statement. You might be scared of your partner's reaction. This causes some people to keep it all to themselves. This can be a lonely place to worry about money. In either case, it is important that you do think about how to bring up the money talk and do it. Seeing eye-to-eye in the finance department could take months or even years and that’s okay. Make progress in the meantime. Listen to this episode to learn more about how to be on the receiving end of the money talk. Do you and your partner see eye-to-eye in the finance department? Join us this May for the Money and Marriage Webinar Series If you have been enjoying The Better Conversations Podcast, we would love to hear from you. Consider leaving a review and a rating on iTunes. Introductionist: Jon White from JW Financial Coaching JW’s Financial Coaching Mission Statement: “To provide financial education by sharing information and injecting hope that is biblically based to everyone who asks from the rich to the poor, with the heart of a teacher.”
16 minutes | Apr 3, 2014
Hot Hot Organization: Better Conversations on Money and Marriage with Derek and Carrie Olsen. Ep. 009
Hot, Hot Financial Organization! (Tweet this) If you don't have an organized financial plan, what are you basing your decisions off? I am sure you don't guess what direction to drive when you plan a road trip. And still, too many people put little to no effort into creating even a half-assed financial plan. Carrie and I have made more financial progress than we ever thought possible. Without our simple monthly budget, I can't imagine where we would be financially and relationally. Having an organized plan is about more than numbers, math, and financial progress. We have confidence and feel great because we have a plan. Money is messy by default. Your financial life is probably spread out in several different places. (Bank account, debt/credit card, student loans, bills, savings, retirement.) Your financial life won't organize itself all on its own. It will take some effort and intentional action on your part. Worth it Return on Investment: The highest return on investment you can achieve has nothing to do with stocks, mutual funds, or paying off debt. The highest return on investment possible comes straight from creating a plan for your money. Financial results: Every single time someone tells me about how they started doing a budget they say, "I feel like I got a raise". But, they aren't earning more money. So, where did the "extra" money come from? (HINT: Start paying more attention to your money and then tell me the answer.) *More money is almost always one of the results. Non-financial results: The non-financial results are just as important and exciting. A strong feeling of confidence that comes from knowing that you have a plan is worth the 60 minutes a month that it takes. If you are married, one of the most important things you can do for you marriage is work together in the finance department. You are qualified You ARE qualified to manage your own money. You are allowed, you have permission. You can. You should. ...and I believe you will. A hot, hot plan will make you see how possible it is. A hot, hot plan will give you confidence that you can handle it. You won't end up somewhere you want to be by accident. You will need a plan and you will need to make good decisions based on that plan. Join us this May for the Money and Marriage Webinar Series If you have been enjoying The Better Conversations Podcast, we would love to hear from you. Consider leaving a review and a rating on iTunes. Introductionist: Jeff R
19 minutes | Mar 27, 2014
Friends, Family, and Seeking Advice: Better Conversations Podcast with Derek and Carrie Olsen. Ep. 008
Your friends and family don't know everything, and that's okay. (Tweet this) The fact that your family and friends aren't experts in every area of life is okay. However, taking advice as if they are experts could steer you in the wrong direction. The places and people you look to for advice matters. If your cousin is not a lawyer, would you ask her for legal advice? Would you be offended if your brother chose to not ask your advice about a subject that you know nothing about? When considering asking family and friends for advice, consider this: Are they experts in this area? Do they get paid to do what you are asking them about? Are they achieving the kind of results that you are seeking for yourself? Do they have your best interest in mind? Are they a positive influence over your life? Have you considered avoiding the influence of members of your family or circle of friends? Join us this May for the Money and Marriage Webinar Series If you have been enjoying The Better Conversations Podcast, we would love to hear from you. Consider leaving a review and a rating on iTunes. Introductionist: J.P. Lynn from Brass Knuckle Finance Jarim Person-Lynn, an author, blogger & Wealth Coach in the Los Angeles area, knows all too well about how the trappings of debt and poverty can derail the dreams of the inner city youth. Learn more about J.P. and his brass knuckles.
20 minutes | Mar 20, 2014
Three Reasons for Combining Finances Within a Marriage: Better Conversations Podcast with Derek and Carrie Olsen. Ep. 007
Three benefits of combining money within a marriage. (Tweet this) Do you keep your money separate or throw it all in a big (or tiny) pile? Carrie and I have heard many arguments for and against merging money together within a marriage. When we did our first budget together, we learned a ton about each other. We explored each others values, priorities, feelings, and previous experience as related to money. We had conversations that otherwise wouldn't have been brought up for years. Those conversations were foundational in the early days of our marriage and continue to shape our relationship today. Carrie and I discuss three benefits that we have experienced as a result of throwing our money into the same tiny pile. Combining our money allows us to make informed decisions. Knowing each others financial habits, goals, and opinions helps us make good choices together. Combining our money has allowed us to get to know each other better. The non-financial conversations that we have as a direct result of combining money have made our marriage better. Combining our money sets us up to avoid future conflict. Not only to simply avoid it, but to know how to better handle issues when they do arise. Some married couples lack the ability to produce a positive outcome when suddenly faced with a serious financial challenge. The ability to produce a positive outcome in the future partly hinges upon the skills acquired from "practicing". -Derek (and Carrie too!) P.S. "It's just easier to keep separate accounts" isn't a good enough reason. Easy isn't always the goal. P.P.S. Combining money within a marriage does not cause problems, it might uncover a few and dealing with them now is a good thing. Most problems are already there, not created. There is no sense in avoiding what is already there. Join us this May for the Money and Marriage Webinar Series If you enjoy what you hear, we would love to hear from you. Leave your review on our iTunes page and we will read it on an upcoming episode. Introductionist: Steve Stewart from Money Plan SOS Thanks Steve! I’m a believer, husband, father, and super-passionate about helping people become debt free. The mission of my website it to help you discover the truth about debt, to expose the manipulative messages from those trying to get to your money, and to show you how to build wealth, not credit. -Steve
16 minutes | Mar 13, 2014
Transitions: Better Conversations on Money and Marriage with Derek and Carrie Olsen. Ep. 006
Life is a series of transitions, abnormal is the norm. (Tweet this) Life can be described as a long series of moments that blend into each other. This current moment in time will blend into the next. Over and over, this 'blending into the next moment' moves forward. The final result will make up the entirety of all the events of your life. Waiting for the perfect moment to act will leave you doing just that, waiting. Waiting until this transitional period of time is over will leave you forever waiting for the stability you think you need in order to act. There will never be a season of life that is not transitional. Entertaining and thought provoking conversations on money and marriage in less than 20 minutes. If you enjoy what you hear, we would love to hear from you. Leave your review on our iTunes page and we will read it on an upcoming episode. Introductionist: Rey Brown, from the I Like Family Show. (Thanks Rey!) When many people think of family, a family tree comes to mind with the branches representing each member of the family. But it doesn't start there. For a tree to flourish it must be deeply rooted. Family is the same way; the only way for us to succeed is to have a healthy home. Marriage and parenting are the two key ingredients to a successful family life. -Rey Brown
22 minutes | Mar 6, 2014
Stealing From Your Spouse: Better Conversations on Money and Marriage with Derek and Carrie Olsen. Ep. 005
Have you been stealing money from your partner? (Tweet this) Jennifer Smith had a moment of weakness at Target. (Can you really blame her?) "I didn’t wait long to call my husband. In humility and embarrassment I told my husband what I had done. I apologized for not letting him know my plans or asking if what I wanted to do would be ok. I repented of my actions and affirmed my husband that I would be more intentional about being in agreement of how we spend our money." Read more about Jennifer's moment of weakness. If your money is combined into one bank account, is it possible to steal from your spouse? Don't ask me, ask the budget. It might feel like you are asking for permission from your partner to spend some extra money, but you aren't. What you are really doing is setting him or her up to be the good guy or the bad guy. Receiving the approval from your partner doesn't necessarily make it OK to over-spend, it just makes it feel OK. Now the two of you have overspend, together. Your budget is the person you should really be asking permission from. The two of you should together review the budget to see if you have room for this extra purchase. Permission from each other simply isn't enough. Now you are both guilty of conspiring to overspend. Your budget is an un-biased third party. When the two of you created your budget at the beginning of the month, you created a living creature. You can't keep secrets from your budget. You can't implement any creative mathematical gymnastics either. Any spending outside the parameters of your budget will show up. It does not matter how much permission you grant each other. Have you found yourself feeling like you stole money from your partner? Entertaining and thought provoking conversations on money and marriage in less than 20 minutes. If you enjoy what you hear, we would love to hear from you. Leave your review on our iTunes page and we will read it on an upcoming episode. Introductionist: J.Money (Thanks buddy!) I’m 6’1, hyperactive, rock a ‘hawk, like drinking beer, blaring hip-hop, playing with my new baby, and am now in my early 30′s – unlike when I started this blog 5 years ago in my 20′s! Oh, and I’m a sucker for old American coins. More fun facts about J.Money at Budgets Are Sexy and Rockstar Finance.
15 minutes | Mar 5, 2014
One Bed, One Bank Account: Better Conversations Podcast with Derek and Carrie Olsen. Ep. 004
If I can trust you in my bed, shouldn't I be able to trust you in my bank account? (Tweet this) Money within a marriage is like a ship at sea. Both partners are on the ship. Both partners have a say in what direction to set sail. One person can take on all the duties, but the sailing is much easier when both partners work together. When the ship finally arrives at its destination, both partners have to accept where they are. Having separate bunks on the same ship won’t allow two people to arrive in two different destinations. Separate bank accounts within a marriage is like having separate bunks on the same ship: You will both arrive at the same destination. Having a 'roommate mentality' within a marriage is at odds with the idea that a marriage is about oneness. Keeping separate bank accounts flies in the face of commitment. For richer OR poorer, not for richer AND poorer. If a married couple keeps separate finances, it would be possible for one partner to be poorer or richer than the other. The idea that one partner could be eating better food, driving a nicer car and going on vacations while the other is living paycheck-to-paycheck is, well, interesting. When things are good, I am all in. When things are bad, I'll be over here watching you sink. Earning, spending, saving, and managing the money within a marriage doesn't have to always be an equal effort. It's not a 50/50 arrangement. It is a 100/100 arrangement. There is not a "balance" to achieve, that isn't the goal. The goal is oneness. Chances are high that one of you will earn more than the other. Throw it all in one pile. The roll of paycheck-earner might shift back and forth several times over the course of a marriage. Keeping score of what money is earned by which partner is a fruitless pursuit. Combining your money gives you the opportunity to align your values, priorities, and goals. In fact, they already are aligned, all of them, all the time. You are both heading in the same direction. A direction that is determined for each and by each. What one partner does with his or her money has a direct impact on the other partner. This is true even if you do keep separate finances. I trust you here, but not there. I don't believe in fragmented trust, respect, and teamwork. I don't believe it is possible to select one area of a marriage and keep that specific area separate. I don't believe you can commit to each other in some areas but not in others. Not possible. Trust is trust. But Dere
20 minutes | Mar 4, 2014
Posting Our Monthly Budget: Better Conversations Podcast with Derek and Carrie Olsen. Ep. 003
I feel financially naked! It feels good, it feels right. We posted our monthly budget. (Tweet this) If you shared your budget with another couple, the facts of your situation won't change. What will change is the way you feel about your budget, which could lead to deeper conversations about how you are managing your money. Do you have a financial accountability couple? How would sharing your budget (with someone you trust) change how you approach managing your money? Talking about money with an accountability couple might bring up ideas that you had not thought of. Claiming to already have all the good ideas will leave you with only your ideas to work with. Newsflash: Other people have good ideas too. Sharing your budget with another couple is a two way street. Chances are extremely high that, not only will you learn something and feel better, the couple you share with will too. It has also been said that the best way to learn something for yourself is to teach it to someone else. Newsflash #2: Other people could learn from you. We thought and prayed about posting our budget online for over a year. We were very nervous about posting our budget at first, but we are so glad we did. The feedback has been incredible. Thank you for all the positive encouragement! You have inspired us and we hope to continue to inspire others. (Read this explanation on why we decided to start posting our budget.) Most people keep their financial information private. Is this helping? If times are tough or everything is splendid, keeping it private won't allow you to be encouraged or to be an encourager. I believe if we were more transparent about money the financial intelligence of the entire population would increase. An increase in financial intelligence would reduce the amount of mistakes, stress, and learning the hard way. We could drastically reduce the personal finance learning curve by sharing what we know withe each other. More important than how much money you earn or have is what you do with it. Sharing your budget isn't a game of comparisons, it's a chance to be transparent, learn, teach, and move forward. Who would you share your budget with if you chose an accountability couple? Entertaining and thought provoking conversations on money and marriage in less than 20 minutes. If you enjoy what you hear, we would love to hear from you. Leave your review on our iTunes page and we will read it on an upcoming episode. Check out this article I wrote for
12 minutes | Mar 3, 2014
We Have a Problem: Better Conversations Podcast with Derek and Carrie Olsen. Ep. 002
In life, there are problems that you solve and there are problems that you manage. (Tweet this) Confusing these two realities is the source of mountains of frustration for many people. Attempting to solve a problem that you are supposed to be managing could leave you scratching your head and ready to quit. Re-visiting your budget each month is not a sign of previous failure. Imagine feeling like a failure each month as you visit the barber shop. "But I JUST cut my hair last month! I must have done it wrong, otherwise I wouldn't be back here getting my hair cut again." It can be understandable to feel like the problem keeps coming back because you didn't take care of it last time. But that is not the case. Although it could feel like you are revisiting the same problem, each monthly budget is actually brand new. Solving is a once and for all task. Managing is ongoing. (And that is a good thing.) Creating a new budget each month should be an ongoing opportunity for growth not another frustrating failure. This month's budget is similar to, but not the same as last month's budget. It's all new money and all new bills. This being true, you actually cannot revisit and try to resolve the same problem over and over. Stay encouraged as you tackle each new monthly budget. Entertaining and thought provoking conversations on money and marriage in less than 20 minutes. If you enjoy what you hear, we would love to hear from you. Leave your review on our iTunes page and we will read it on an upcoming episode. Introductionist: Jami Nato (Thanks Jami!) hi, i'm jami nato. one thing you should know about me is that i cuss sometimes. but i really love Jesus. i don't pretend to have it all together and we never will because we can't! that's why we need a savior.
19 minutes | Mar 2, 2014
We Need To Talk: Better Conversations Podcast with Derek and Carrie Olsen Ep. 001
The conversations you have with your partner about money will help determine the quality of your marriage. (Tweet this) As a married couple, you will eventually find yourself in a place that you may or may not want to be (financially speaking). You are helping each other move towards that place, good or bad, based on the conversations you have about money. You are most likely the most powerful influencer on your partner. Carrie and I believe that financial communication within a marriage is THE MOST IMPORTANT determining factor for the financial outcome of your relationship. Every married couple will need to figure out the money thing at some point in time. You will either be forced to by an un-welcomed and un-wanted event, or you will chose to take charge early. Figuring it out together is the only way to achieve true success. Walking down the financial path separately and alone won't help the two of you get on the same page. Working together is the only way to arrive at the same, agreed upon destination. You will both end up in the same place financially, it is impossible not to. Choosing that place ahead of time, together, is only way to enjoy it once you arrive. Carrie and I were forced to figure out the financial aspect of marriage early. We narrowly avoided a foreclosure on our house. The process almost ruined us financially. But as a result of working together, our relationship is now better than it would have been otherwise. Encourage each other along the way. Entertaining and thought provoking conversations on money and marriage in less than 20 minutes. If you enjoy what you hear, we would love to hear from you. Leave your review on our iTunes page and we will read it on an upcoming episode. Introductionist: Dan Miller, Author of 48days to the Work You Love. (Thanks Dan!) Dan Miller, President of 48 Days LLC, specializes in creative thinking for increased personal and business success. He believes that meaningful work blends our natural skills and abilities, our unique personality traits and our dreams and passions. Dan is active in helping individuals redirect careers, evaluate new income sources, and achieve balanced living. He believes that a clear sense of direction can help us become all that God designed us to be.
Terms of Service
Do Not Sell My Personal Information
© Stitcher 2021