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Having It ALL: Conversations about living an Abundant Loving Life
52 minutes | Jul 27, 2021
Yes, You Can Have It All! Why So Many Get It Wrong (And How You Can Get It Right)
Can you have it all?This was the question that launched this podcast.5 years later, and my answer to that question hasn't wavered one bit: Yes, you absolutely can!There's no "...BUT" at the end of the statement either. You can have it all in life, AND I'll show you how it's possible!In today's episode I'm talking about why so many people get it wrong when they're talking about and pursing having it all, and how you can do it in a more effective, joyful and fulfilling way.If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways: Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
34 minutes | Jul 20, 2021
Let's Talk About Sex: The #1 Reason Why You Aren't Having Your Sexual Breakthrough
Why do people, supplied with wisdom and a clear path of action, not experience breakthroughs? Why is it that we can be so clear that addressing our beliefs, paradigms and traumas around sex will be so healing and beneficial, but we never take the next step?Sex has been the most challenging and rewarding space for healing in my life. Challenging because the pages of my sexual story (like so many others) were written many years ago and reinforced by unhealthy beliefs and habits around sex.But I experienced a massive breakthrough around sex (many, actually), and as a result I've seen my self esteem, self worth and self acceptance reach heights I didn't know possible for myself.If you've been a listener for a long period of time, you've heard me chronicle these things on the show.As a life coach, I help men and women who are seeking their own breakthroughs in life. And sex is an area where so many of us are stuck, unexpressed and overall have unhealthy relationships with.On today's episode I share with you things I've learned from my experience as a life coach, and wisdom I've gained from addressing my biggest fears around sex.Everyone, yes everyone, is capable of experiencing sexual breakthroughs. You can absolutely feel different about sex, your sexual past, and your sexual future. Nothing is written in stone, and you have the power to rewrite your story.Links from this episode: Sex Work Is Soul Work article by Kimberly Ann Johnson Email me at email@example.com DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens Search and find all Having It A.L.L. episodes on my website at matthewbivens.com
37 minutes | Jul 13, 2021
Let's Talk About Sex: Figuring Out What You Like In The Bedroom and Expressing Yourself Sexually
What do you enjoy in the bedroom? How do you express yourself sexually (or not)?In life, self expression is a major part of understanding yourself, growing, living life to the fullest.It's the same in the realm of sex!Often we choose not to fully express ourselves in sex because of fear of judgement, pushback, ridicule, condemnation, and so many other things rooted in fears.In today's episode I'm helping you get clear on what you enjoy in the bedroom, and we're discussing how to express yourself more in the bedroom.If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways: Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
63 minutes | Jul 6, 2021
How We Keep Our Sex Life Hot As New Parents (Rebroadcast from the Doing It At Home Podcast)
Does your sex life have to change for the worse after kids?We know of course the answer is “No, it doesn’t”, but how do you keep it from turning stale? How do you keep the fire burning for your partner after you’ve had a kid or two?"Today I'm bringing you a "SEX-PISODE" from my other podcast, Doing It At Home, where my wife Sarah and I get real about what our sex life has been like after having a baby.There are three main areas we’re going to focus on: How we schedule sex into our busy lives Why keeping the flame burning is important to us The ebbs and flows our sex lives have taken as we progressed from a married couple, to being pregnant, to having a brand new baby, to now being parents for a period of time We’re getting raw and honest in this episode, and it’s our hope that hearing us talk about these topics will give you permission to explore these things on your own. We want to create and hold a space of open and honest communication, first and foremost with yourself, but also with the person/people you choose to share a bed with.Sexual energy is life energy, and it’s time to create a more empowered conversation around sex.If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways: Email me at email@example.com DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens Resources from this episode: Doing It At Home website: https://www.diahpodcast.com/ Doing It At Home Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/diahpodcast/ Doing It At Home Facebook Group: https://bit.ly/3jKtIYv
27 minutes | Jun 29, 2021
Let's Talk About Sex: Your First Sexual Experience
How was your first sexual experience? How would you describe it in two words?Our first experience with sex tends to leave a lasting impression on us. Sex is viewed as a right of passage, a transition point where there's no going back. Some people enter into their first sexual experience having had healthy, mature and empowering conversations about sex, but many do not. They are equipped with the ideas, beliefs, stories and feelings about sex that they picked up from their peers, tv, society and parents and teachers who themselves may not have a healthy and empowering view of sex.As a result, our first sexual experiences leave a lasting impression on us that set the stage for the rest of our lives.In today's episode we're diving into our first sexual experiences with the goal of examining it from an empowered and mature perspective. You have the power to rescript what sex means to you, and to write your personal sexual story (past and future) in a way that leaves you feeling confident and uplifted.If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways: Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens Resources from this episode:Can Your Sexual Debut Predict Your Future?
36 minutes | Jun 22, 2021
Let's Talk About Sex: Understanding Your Sexual Story
What is your sexual story?No, I'm not talking about a romance novel type of story. I'm talking about the narrative you have around sex, the one that was started many years ago with your very first encounters with the ideas, feelings and attitudes around sex.We all have a sexual story that was started when we were young and is being added to constantly. Many people's stories around sex are based in shame, judgement, embarrassment and expectation. That leads to sexual experiences and feelings that are unhealthy and certainly don't uplift and heal.But it doesn't have to be that way! You can rewrite your sexual story, heal those sexual wounds you carry, and create an entirely new sexual experience for yourself that's based in love, feels authentic, and full of genuine connection.Today I'm kicking off a series about sex which will help you transform your views on sex, from the inside out.If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways: Email me at email@example.com DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
46 minutes | Jun 15, 2021
Get Your 7 Minutes Back! A Breakthrough In Relating To Stress, Anxiety and Overwhelm
How stressed out do you feel right now? Have you dealt with stress earlier today or this week?We all experience stress, it's part of life. But not everybody relates to stress in the same way. You have your own go-to methods for dealing with your stress, and some are more effective than others.Years ago it became a personal mission of mine to get on top of my stress and anxiety, and learn how to deal with it in more healthy ways. Drinking, smoking and pornography were not leading me down the path I wanted, and so I sought out other means of relating to the circumstances in my life.In today's episode I'm sharing with you a massive breakthrough I had that led to me looking at stress in a whole new way. The "7 minutes" breakthrough as I like to call it, has helped me get back into my center when life's stressors have knocked me out of alignment. I'm sharing this with you today with the goal of inspiring you to take a harder look at your triggers and the things that stress you out in life, and to seek out true healing so you can experience the joy you truly desire.If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways: Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens Resources from this episode: Compassionate Inquiry: Diffuse Your Emotional Triggers with Dr. Gabor Mate Chronic Stress Puts Your Health At Risk Sympathetic vs. Parasympathetic State: How Stress Affects Your Health Other Having It A.L.L. episodes about stress with action items and takeaways: How To Coach Yourself Through The Chronic Stresses Of Everyday Life A Powerful Method For Changing Your Relationship Towards Stress - How To Learn To Love Stress Through Exercise The STOP Method For De-Stressing and Reclaiming Balance In 30 Seconds Learn How To Master Your Stress (Instead Of Running From It) So That You Can Be Calm In The Face Of Fire A 15 Minute Meditation For Easing Stress, Fear and Anxiety (from Katie Krimitsos of the Women's Meditation Network Podcast) The Balance Experts Have Spoken! 10 Expert Tips On Living A Life Of Balance (Plus 15 More You're Really Going To Want To Use In Your Life) 3 Underlying Reasons Why You Don't Have Balance (And What To Do About Them)
9 minutes | Jun 7, 2021
A Quick Guide To Shower Meditations (My Go-to Tool For Beating Stubborn Stress)
How do you feel about meditation? What about meditating in the shower??Meditation and mindfulness are two of the most powerful self care habits available to all of us. If you don't have a meditation or mindfulness practice currently, I highly recommend you start creating one (see my episodes on meditation for simple ways to get started).Over the years I've developed a nice arsenal of self-care tools that I can deploy when I'm feeling stuck, challenged, frustrated or stressed.Meditating while in the shower has been very effective for me over the years as a way to eliminate stress and get back into my "sweet spot".In today's episode I break down what shower meditation is, how I practice it, and walk you through steps to trying it our for yourself.If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways: Email me at email@example.com DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
32 minutes | Jun 1, 2021
Here's The Thing About Pain And Discomfort In Life...
Do you enjoy pain?Most people don't, and it makes sense. Pain hurts. Pain is uncomfortable. Pain isn't something that a sane person wants to run towards.Yet, what if I told you that pain was inevitable....that whether you chose to step up, stay put or step back, pain would be present. Would that change the choices you made?In today's episode I share with you the illusion of pain, and how we trap ourselves believing that we are avoiding pain. A quote from the psychiatrist R.D. Laing sums it up nicely:“Pain in this life is not avoidable, but the pain we create avoiding pain is avoidable.”If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways: Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
40 minutes | May 26, 2021
Quit Holding Back! How Not Expressing Yourself Fully Is Keeping You From Having It All
Where are you not feeling fully expressed?Self expression is one of the most important aspects of Having It All. Allowing yourself to be, do and say what is real and true for you is as important as breathing. However, it's a habit that can easily be overlooked and brushed aside. In today's episode I break down the importance of feeling fully expressed, the consequences of not living a life of authenticity, and how you can start expressing yourself more and more in your everyday life. Buckle in because you will feel inspired to take action after listening to this episode!If you want to reach out to me with episode topic suggestions, feedback about the podcast in general, or just to say hi, you can do so in two ways: Email me at email@example.com DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
12 minutes | May 18, 2021
The Most Powerful Way To Practice Self Love (Rebroadcast)
What does "self love" really mean?Self love conversations are ubiquitous these days. Everyone's talking about. But beyond "positive self affirmations" and "choosing healthy foods" do we really know what self love means? Do we understand what the essence of self love is and how certain activities that we do, many times without thinking, are undermining all of the surface level self love work we put so much effort into?In this episode I'm going to give you a completely new way to look at self love. It's not another thing for you to do, but a lens through which to look at all of your self love activities. This was a fun episode for me because I recorded the entire thing while I was walking to the movies. Sarah was out of town with the car for the weekend, and when I wanted to go catch a movie it meant I was walking. During my walk I was observing how taking myself to movies was an act of self love, and the idea for this episode was born.Once you listen, I'd love to hear your thoughts, comments, and feedback on the episode. You can email me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org or reach out on Instagram @matthew_bivens.
44 minutes | May 11, 2021
I Fasted For 3 Days. Here Are 3 Things I Learned That Can Transform Your Life!
No matter what your thoughts are on fasting, one thing that's undeniable is that you currently have some sort of relationship with food, with eating and with your emotions, and they are doing a dance together that's either raising your health or lowering it!For me, I love fasting as a tool for healing (physically as well as emotionally, mentally and spiritually). I've been turning to fasting on a consistent basis since 2015, and it has changed my life. In today's conversation I'm sharing with you my biggest insights from a 3-day juice fast I recently did, and I'm relating these insights in a way that you're guaranteed to be able to apply them to your life (whether you've ever fasted or not). Bottoms up!
51 minutes | May 4, 2021
Progress Over Perfection: How To Focus On Small Steps Forward And Stop Stressing About Being Perfect
Do you consider yourself a Perfectionist? Are you constantly feeling like you're not doing or being enough? Do you judge yourself harshly because you're failing to live up to your standards or expectations?So many of us suffer from the need to be "perfect". Logically you understand that perfection is not possible, yet you still hold this impossible standard for yourself in life (perhaps as a parent or entrepreneur or friend or just as yourself). I have had my struggles with perfectionism, and as I've wrestled with it over the years I've discovered a way to stop stressing about being perfect and instead focus on making incremental progress. In today's episode I'm talking about progress versus perfection, and I'm giving you real strategies that you can apply in your life to focus more on making small steps forward and less on being perfect.Want to get in touch with me to share your experience with perfectionism? Email me at matthew [at] matthewbivens [dot] com, or DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens.
61 minutes | Apr 27, 2021
My Recent Epic Challenge Of Control Issues, Scarcity Mindset and Not Trusting Myself
Where are you feeling stuck in life?We all have an "Epic Challenge" - an area in our lives where we're feeling stuck, where we're not enjoying the experience and are having a hard time changing things. In today's episode I'm sharing with you my most recent Epic Challenge which was creating a lot of stress and frustration in my life. I'm peeling back the layers on what I go through to face my challenges, and the people and processes that I've brought into my life to help me. Want to get in touch with me to share your Epic Challenge? Email me at matthew [at] matthewbivens [dot] com, or DM me on Instagram @matthew_bivens.
54 minutes | Apr 20, 2021
How To Stop Emotional Manipulation In Relationships
In what ways do you manipulate in relationships?I asked the question in that way because manipulation is something we can all easily do in relationships. It's not always overt and easy to spot. Sometimes it's very subtle and may not even be something you're consciously aware of. Yet, no matter the type of manipulation, it's evidence of deeply unhealthy feelings and beliefs about ourselves. In today's episode I'm reading an email from a listener who wants some help with her manipulative tendencies in relationships. I talk about the origins of manipulation, how to peel back the layers to address what's really going on, and ways to stop the manipulative behavior as it's happening. I encourage you to listen to this episode whether you're in a relationship or not, because as you'll learn the origins of manipulation have nothing to do with other people. They have everything to do with how we feel about ourselves. Want to reach out to me directly with episode ideas, feedback or anything else? Email me at matthew [at] matthewbivens [dot] com or direct message me on Instagram @matthew_bivens
22 minutes | Apr 13, 2021
Learning How To Deal With Resistance In life
Where are you experiencing a lot of resistance in your life?Chances are, the thing you're resisting most is actually the thing that contains that answer to you getting unstuck and ultimately having what you want in life. Today I'm talking about resistance: why we resist, what it looks like, what it does to us, and how to learn to level up our maturity so that we can ultimately get what we want in life. Resources The Challenge Of Change: Are You The River Or The Rock? article by Dennis Merritt Jones
61 minutes | Apr 6, 2021
Monthly Habit Focus: Creating A Fitness Routine That Works For You
How well are you caring for your fitness? We experience life through our bodies. Our health and fitness reveals the relationship that we have with life. So what is your fitness telling you about how you deal with life?No matter where you are in your fitness, there's room for improvement so that you can create the results and the EXPERIENCE that you truly desire.This is the first episode in April, which means it's our Monthly Habit Focus series. And as you've already guessed, this month we're focusing on your FITNESS. In today's episode I'm going to answer questions like: How do you get motivated to build a fitness routine? What helps make working out and exercising easier? How do you overcome the biggest obstacles to sticking with a fitness routine? By the end of this episode you'll walk away with a deeper internal motivation for improving your fitness, practical tips on creating a winning fitness routine (no matter where you're starting from), and some of the biggest mental blocks keeping you from improving your fitness. If you want to get in touch with me, email me at matthew [at] matthewbivens [dot] com, or hit me up on Instagram @matthew_bivens.
45 minutes | Mar 30, 2021
The Morning And Nighttime Routines That Help Me Win At Life (Rebroadcast)
How intentional are you with the way you start and end your day?For years I completely neglected the importance of my morning and nighttime routines. No one taught me to think otherwise and therefore I simply rolled out of bed into life and went from there. But as I began to take on more roles and responsibilities in my life (like becoming a parent and starting a new business), and began to feel the weight of life itself, I realized that the way I began and ended my day had a tremendous impact on what happened during my waking hours. In today's episode I share with you the very specific habits and routines I use in the morning and evening to set myself up for success each day. Show Notes: Episode on my Mission Statement - https://www.havingitallpodcast.com/single-post/My-Personal-Mission-Statement-Why-Knowing-What-Youre-Playing-For-Will-Change-Your-Life Balance Chart App - https://www.theydbg.com/ Headspace - https://www.headspace.com/ Evernote - https://evernote.com/
47 minutes | Mar 23, 2021
The Top 5 Regrets Of The Dying: Are You Creating A Life Of No Regrets? (Rebroadcast)
What regrets do you have in life? In today's episode I'm sharing a moving and insightful essay written by Bronnie Ware - a nurse who took care of patients in their final days of life. Over the years of her work, she asked her patients if they had any regrets from their life as they faced their death. The patterns she saw emerge with deep and powerful. I share with you the 5 regrets of the dying in this episode, so you can take a moment to evaluate whether you're on the path to experience any of them in your life.Resources:Bronnie Ware’s article “Regrets Of The Dying”
64 minutes | Mar 16, 2021
Sexual Confidence and Male Performance Anxiety: A Vulnerable Sex Conversation Inspired By Jason Rogers (Rebroadcast)
Are you ready for a raw and honest conversation about sexual confidence? Today I'm talking about sexual confidence and male performance anxiety: what it looks like, how it happens, how we feed it, and how we heal it. This episode was inspired by an article in Mens Health by Jason Rogers. In the powerful article, Jason opens up about his challenges with performance anxiety and how it impacted him in the bedroom and on the Olympic stage. Jason's article in Men's Health
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