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In this episode, Ari tries to keep the guardrails on while Sophie tries to jump over them. The Oscars were watched. Duck was eaten. Cabbage is discussed. At length. Its sweetness, its versatility. Also, chips and where we stand on all the new-fangled healthy versions. Is a Dorito its own category? Where do Now-N-Laters, Starburst, and Hi-Chews rank in terms of chew, waxiness, and flavor? These questions, topics, and more, including pugnacious outbursts by both hosts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ari and Sophie try to come up with genius pairings for each Best Picture nominee, mostly failing to make a cohesive menu. Ari hasn't seen any of the films but she's not letting that stop her from voicing her opinions! Turns out, seeing the trailer is JUST like seeing the movie. Happy hot dog fingers, everyone! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We unpack Ari's wedding (with plenty of distraction along the way.) Has the pandemic made Ari bad at socializing with a martini glass? Do we need an intro? These questions, and more, answered in this Very Important Episode.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What to say about an episode that's been nearly a year in the making? By which we mean... We took almost a year off! How the hell did that happen? Well, Ari got married, the girls were geographically separated for 3 months, yadda yadda, EXCUSES, EXCUSES! And a year-long absence is INEXCUSABLE, but we hope you'll welcome us back into your ear holes! XOXO Ari & Sophie Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

At last, Having A Night: Wedding Season comes to a close. Ari still isn't married, but at least she has a venue and a date, if not a dress and a jazz trio. This season, the girls dug into the crevices of the Wedding Industrial Complex and somehow emerged unscathed. They parsed first dances and after parties, dessert tables and tiered cakes, fairy lights and candles, placement and free-for-alls. In this final episode, Sophie lays to rest the weddings Ari could have had, and Ari offers the best advice of the season: the whole point is to enjoy the process. Otherwise, why bother? The girls have talked and talked and then talked some more, but we hope the only thing you've really taken away from our judgmental blathering is that there is always room to do things your own way, even though wedding planners, magazines, and your friends' (or celebrity) weddings are telling you otherwise. You're putting on a show, hunnies. Make the most of it. XOXO! See you next season, Ari & Sophie Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

CAKE SMACKDOWN: Design vs. Taste! We're putting all our money on TASTE, the clear frontrunner in this prize fight. Who wants a beautiful cake with no flavor? If you fondant fonDO… step aside. We’ve all seen “Shallow Hal” (shame on us, millennials)! We want our cake to TASTE like Gwyneth, no matter what she LOOKS like! Dear Tony Robins: please hypnotize all brides to see beneath the fondant! Also in this episode: Sophie plans Ari’s engagement party PLUS why pie is is always the wrong choice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You've survived it all -- the endless toasts, the crack-of-dawn hair & makeup shift, the mic feedback during the ceremony... You grazed the floor with your butt during SHOUT and cried during the first dance even though the band sucked. You ate three pieces of cake, two bottles of wine, and zero water. The wedding is over, right? You've done your part and then some? WRONG. You better get your ass into gear because after the party is the after party and only then can you hit the hotel lobby. But don't pass out for too long because in the AM, you know have to get your booty to the chafing-dish derby, aka the wedding brunch. Don't get us started on the phrase "rehash the bash", just give us the actual hash...browns. This ep is about the optional wedding add-ons, aka the After Party and the Brunch, and boy have we got some opinions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If music be the food of love, then you better pump the jams and play something great at your wedding. The DJ/Band dispute is a tale as old as time and both girls want to rock DJ. Now that that's settled, does an electric violin kill the vibe or electrify the dancefloor? And where is the string quartet in all of this? Can't we just let strings be strings instead of warping them into an Ed Sheeran arrangement? Has the Dirty Dancing jump surpassed iconic and gone straight to cheugy, or is it really the time of your life? These answers, and more, in this episode of NOW That's What I Call Music: The Having A Night Wedding Edition. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The girls may not be location scouts but they sure do have opinions on where you should have your wedding. Vibe is paramount. Finding a new way to say 'vibe' is also paramount. Vibes unearthed during this hour-long convo include the cheugy farm vibe, the sterile loft vibe, and the Stepford country club vibe. Obviously, the correct answer to where you're getting married is D, None of the above. Ari unloads and downloads about the venue currently in her top position and Sophie lends an excited yet sympathetic ear while somehow managing to stay negative about weddings generally. XOXO! The HAN girls. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speeches. Toasts. Roasts.  The best man thinks he’s headlining The Comedy Cellar. Your dad has been speaking off-the-cuff for 45 minutes. 6 sorority sisters, 1 mic. And everyone’s opening line begins with “FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON’T KNOW ME.” We're issuing a trigger warning for everyone who's ever roasted, toasted, speeched, or been speeched. Consider yourself warned. XOXO! Ari & Sophie Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What better way to celebrate your wedding than playing a massive game of WHO WORE IT BEST with all your closest friends!? Last week's episode covered bachelorettes, and that means this week, it's the Bridal Party... which, when you really think about it, is just a big ol' horse and pony show. Who's got the best updo? Beach waves? Best strap situation? Most inoffensive walking pace? Ladies, it's time to parade your girlfriends for all to see! In $700 single-use, jewel-toned polyester, no less! Are Bridal Parties the most obvious marker of Le Basic Bitch Wedding? Do not listen to this episode if your answer is NO. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

After a long, unannounced hiatus, the girls are now COVID-free and ready to dive into the Bachelor/Bachelorette Party, which has recently swelled from simple "party" into the bachelor/bachelorette three-day-weekend. It's hard to say exactly when this shift occurred, but it was probably around the same time as the emergence of the welcomed-by-some, dreaded-by-most Four Day Wedding Weekend. The Stag-do/Hen-do can be an opportunity for a bacchanal (THE PURGE, but sexy?) or an opportunity to spend QT with the pals you loved most. Sophie and Ari are on opposite sides here, but the one thing they agree on? For the love of god, you DON'T have to mix friend groups -- if they haven't become close since first meeting, it's probably because they don't like each other very much. SAHRRY FOR BURSTIN UR BUBBLE, PALS! Ok that's all -- listen and love and like and subscribe. XOXO! The HAN girls. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The girls heard your pleas for a wedding planner, and have arrived with the ultimate answer: Ryan Hill, the head honcho and owner of Apotheosis Events. If your image of a "wedding planner" is the-gal-in-the-black-dress-looking-miffed-while-she-screams-into-her-headset, Ryan is about to turn that idea upside-down. Vivacious, kind, and hysterical, he sees his role as part Stage Manager, part Producer, and part Therapist, and coming from a Broadway background, theatricality is front-and-center at every event. In this ep, he answers all-important questions, like "how many minutes of fireworks is too many minutes of fireworks?" and "wait, a wedding cake costs HOW MUCH!?" Suffice to say, the gals feel immeasurably wiser after this scintillating convo. Thanks to Ryan for taking time out of his deservedly busy schedule to talk to us, and to Nick Westrate for knowing he'd be the perfect match. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Thanksgiving rolls around but once a year, and the girls could not be more amped that it's making its presence known in the form of PUMPKIN. From here on out, it's nothing but spiked cider and holiday parties. In spite of a minor argument over cranberry sauce, Ari & Sophie are on the same page: sticklers for the absolute classics. Why screw around with what's already perfect? They wax on about their Thanksgiving hopes and dreams, PLUS -- don't worry, Season 4 is still Wedding Season. The girls go to town recapping an absolutely chic city wedding and settle the matter of theater in the round and its nuptial role. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Who's coming & who's getting snubbed? Is it mandatory to invite everyone whose wedding you've been invited to? And is there ever a good way to say "O HELL NO" to the request for a +1? In this episode, the girls get down and dirty with the A List, the B List, and the zzz list. (Don't invite any snoozers to your wedding, ya hear?) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You want to make sure your guests are happy and drunk at your wedding…. But how much are you willing to cough up? This week we go through various tiers of WEDDING BARS. Full? Premium?! BEER AND WINE ONLY? Lots of revelations are made this week folks, and the verdict even surprised us. Tune in for all things cocktail hour and leave your feelings about champagne toasts at the door! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Cocktail attire? Black Tie? Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. For Ari and Sophie, w-e-d-d-i-n-g spells COSTUME PARTY. A chance to steal the attention from the bride with an absolutely smashing outfit (mostly joking here, folks, not to worry.) We're talking Hoedown Chic, Playful Hawaiian, and Creative Formal. Yes, the girls are positively gagging for specificity when it comes to dress code. Adjectives abound -- are you a Colorful or a Festive? Oh, and speaking of, whatever happened to hats? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Name your top 5 wedding canapés and prepare for war. This week the girls are unloading all their wedding-food gripes (BEFORE the professional guests get the mic). What is it about synchronized servers that turns you on? If salmon and chicken were a real-life DUET.... who would be on piano? But actually WHY is wedding food so sucky??????!!! Is it the formality? The fillet? Both? Touché. Buckle up folks, you're in for some big opinions about chicken satay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices