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Hatewatch With Us: A Variety Show for Sarcastic People
71 minutes | 2 days ago
A Treat for Christmas: The Christmas House and Christmas on the Square
Get your holiday lights and music display kits ready because it's finally time for Hatewatch Holidays 2020! We're kicking off the festivities with A Treat for Christmas... A Christmas Treat... Christmas for Treat... Treatmas? Whatever you want to call it, the important thing here is that our Treat Dad Treat Williams is in not one but two holiday films this year. After a lengthy discussion about the user experiences of streaming services that end in Plus, we're off to the races with The Christmas House, Hallmark's first endeavor to win over the gays. Honestly, it's not as bad as we thought it would be, despite some dicey plot choices (looking at you, fixer-upper on the Hudson). It's another story altogether for Christmas on the Square, arguably the biggest disappointment of our holiday movie season. We're gonna commission an episode of Handsome Justice to investigate the claim of whether angels can fly because they take themselves lightly and also why this movie is so bad. Stay tuned for several more Hatewatch Holidays installments coming soon!
64 minutes | 9 days ago
The Crown Season 4
Like Princess Margaret arriving for an official function fashionably late, fabulously drunk, and with no fucks to give, we are rolling up in your podcast feeds with our regular Tuesday episode on...........Saturday. Something something holidays, something something technical difficulties, listen: some of us were busy crafting, watching Princess Diana documentaries, listening to Princess Diana podcasts, and otherwise gossiping about Prince Charles, which cut into editing time. Anyway, we're here to talk about the Crown and somehow ended up talking more about the mask wearing habits of mid level network sitcoms.
45 minutes | 17 days ago
Pride and Prejudice
It's the great Hatewatch tradition of Make Kirstie Watch A Thing, and this week, she finally caved and watched a Jane Austen adaptation. We're talking about the 2005 Pride and Prejudice, featuring emo Darcy, Kelsey's feelings (and Kirstie's lack thereof), plus some cinematography. If you too think that Kirstie should appreciate Jane Austen more, or you would like us to send you the photo we found of a large paper mache Mr. Darcy in a lake, please contact us at @hatewatchwithus.
52 minutes | 24 days ago
Outlander Has Wronged Us
It's been a while since we've complained, so we're coming in hot with a gamified format for filing our grievances. It's Kirstie's first Draft style event, and we are drafting Ways Outlander Has Wronged Us. If you're coming to this episode to agree with us about Outlander takes you will likely be disappointed. Additional updates this week include strong stances on supermarket themed television and a continued plea for any and all information about SMS for Dich/Text For You/Text for Dick?Links:Episode 134 | Bind Off: Outlander Season 5Episode 133 | Inside the EpisodeEpisode 124 | Sam Heughan AppreciationEpisode 90 | Bind Off: Outlander Season 4Episode 84 | TV Weddings and Outlander Store Dot ComEpisode 66 | Outlander Omnibus: Outlander VS Game of ThronesEpisode 64 | Outlander Omnibus: MARK MEEpisode 62 | Outlander Omnibus: Je Suis Prest for the Men of OutlanderEpisode 60 | Outlander Omnibus: Outlander, An American Girl Story and Sorting Outlander
43 minutes | a month ago
Well folks, it's Election Week 2020, and what better time than the present to (1) come to you with breaking news about Celine Dion, and (2) revisit some patriotic content from a simpler election year. For those of you who haven't trained Google to push notify you with news about Sam Heughan, we spend more time than we ought to (and yet not nearly enough time???) discussing his new film Text For You/SMS Fur Dich/Text For Dick. Then it's time for a Romcomducation History Lesson™️ about teen romcoms from the early aughts, a time when we were all apparently CLAMORING for movies about teenage presidential daughters. The important takeaway from all this is that Chasing Liberty is the better of these films based on the ~Matthew Goode wearing men's bell bottoms~ factor alone.Links:Episode 13 | May at Netflix and RomComducation Part 1Episode 14 | RomComducation Part 2 and Hatewatch Analog: Wedding SeasonEpisode 16 | RomComducation Part 3 and Downward DogEpisode 19 | RomComducation Part 4 and Hatewatch Analog: Beer FestivalsEpisode 20 | Game of Thrones Preview and RomComducation Part 5: THE FINALEEpisode 38 | Thunderpants and The Wine Show
41 minutes | a month ago
This week is about things we hate such as turnip prices, mediocre white men, blue filter, Jason Bateman's self important standing, Jason Bateman's height, Jason Bateman, and the Netflix original, Ozark. We put our longstanding policy of No Ozark to the test and it turns out we were correct. Spoiler alert, the content sucks and you can't see any of it. Laws of liquidity give us $8 million now.
67 minutes | 2 months ago
Falling for Vermont and Raffi
Technically, we're here to talk about the fine Hallmark original film Falling for Vermont. Do we cover the movie? Sure. Do we spend more time talking about the degrees to which Raffi bones? PERHAPS.Links:Episode 26 | The Emmys and Moonlight in Vermont
39 minutes | 2 months ago
Buckle your seatbelts and make sure your seat backs are in an upright position because this episode making a late arrival in your podcast feeds is about none other than the 90's classic sitcom Wings. It's Kirstie's turn to make Kelsey watch some formative media, and we agree that Wings is a delight that has aged MOSTLY well despite its fat jokes and Kennedy complex. Is Wings more charming than when Kirstie and Kelsey both forget everyday words and phrases in a single episode? You'll have to listen to find out. ALSO, there's a Treat Dad Update!
49 minutes | 3 months ago
Get Organized with The Home Edit
This week, we're taking every episode of the new Netflix show Get Organized with The Home Edit and placing them inside dedicated plastic containers in rainbow order. If you have thoughts about fridge organization systems, The Container Store, and whether or not children give a shit about organizational systems, SO DO WE. Come for the manic pixie rainbow cricut instagram fever dream, stay for the head to head battle between The Home Edit and Marie Kondo. Even if you do forget the four steps of the home organizing system (who would do that?), the important takeaway here is to request your absentee ballots, people!Links:Episode 92 | Tidying Up with Marie Kondo and A Winter Princess
45 minutes | 3 months ago
Christina and Tarek's Flip Side on the Coast 101
HGTV bought three reality shows at auction sight unseen, and despite adding a multitude of high end finishes, they're definitely over their reno budget! Will they stand to make a profit on this flip, or will they be beaten out by comps on Cottage Life Network? Who's to say? (We are. We are to say.) That's right folks, we've watched all of the Flip or Flop spinoffs with our favorite cyborg duo Christina and Tarek. From surprise weddings to on screen weeping, there is simultaneously a lot to cover and also nothing at all here.
40 minutes | 3 months ago
Animal Crossing: Friendship Island
We're back from our impromptu hiatus, which means we have an episode that's a little bit sloppy but mostly just friendship. We kick off with what's sure to be an award-winning pitch for Hallmark Channel this holiday season (spoilers: it involves a royal sibling, dogs, and bikes). Then, Kirstie has huge news to share, which leads to a discussion of Animal Crossing: New Horizons, known to this podcast as FRIENDSHIP ISLAND. We're very excited to be able to virtually hang out again, on this podcast and on Friendship Island, and if you are too, please give us a 5-star review!
36 minutes | 4 months ago
Hatewatch IRL: Hotels
Hey guys, remember hotels? We took a trip in the Hatewatch time machine this week and traveled back to a more innocent time last year when your hosts got to be in the same place, at the same time, recording a podcast on the floor of a Holiday Inn. In addition to some unwise choices, including broad speculations about the possibilities of leisure travel in 2020, we also have some thoughts about hotels! We're talking bars, we're talking pools, we're talking birthday parties(???). Like our delightful canned gin & tonic cocktails, this episode is ready to enjoy!
63 minutes | 4 months ago
The Dog House and The Great Pottery Throwdown
Today we're going to sit down at the wheel and throw an episode for y'all about some British reality tv coming to an HBO Max near you. But first - the Emmy nominations were released and we have thoughts (shocker). Basically if Schitt's Creek doesn't sweep we're quitting. So after our designated time for gripes and gloats, we're on to The Dog House (UK?), a show that's a real mixed bag featuring puppies and poor decision making. While we aren't sure The Dog House is for us, the show that decidedly IS for us is The Great Pottery Throwdown (or as we so confidently call it, The Great British Throwdown - at some point all show names are the same). We learn about ceramics, we learn about how horny pottery can be, there's history lessons... and we won't spill the beans here but it's possible we may even have a new addition to the Dad Canon. Tune in to find out!Links:Episode 122 | The 2019 Really F*cking Good Television Award Show For Nice People OnlyEpisode 76 | Adventures In Summer Reality TVEpisode 1 | Hatewatch With Us: Pilot Palooza
58 minutes | 4 months ago
Hot or Tall
Welcome to the entire episode that we've dedicated to our favorite game: Is He Hot or Is He Tall? We take a scientific approach to the hot or tall dichotomy, discuss Kirstie's Tall Man Hierarchy, and generally spend an hour sharing the results of hours of "[celebrity name] + height" Google searches. Feel free to tweet us the heights of various famous men at @hatewatchwithus (please, no comments about our horticulture).
54 minutes | 5 months ago
Meghan Markle, Hallmark Star
It was the week that we learned Meghan Markle starred in not one but TWO Hallmark movies! You heard that right folks, we're discussing When Sparks Fly and Dater's Handbook, two fine films that feature Meghan Markle, relatable video conferencing, and men who do the very least. We've got hot takes on Meghan's acting chops, her Hallmark hair journey, and the intracacies of Fourth of July wedding attire. If you, too, feel like you are stuck in a dead-end job making bad tv movies, just hold out hope that a year from now you will meet a dashing prince and get married and then divorce the royal family and live happily ever after because that is a much better story than the plots of either of these movies. THE END! If you enjoyed this, we think Meghan would want you to join us in donating and learning how you can help at the following links: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/# https://secure.actblue.com/donate/bail_funds_george_floyd?refcode=cwgLinks:Episode 121 | MEGXITEpisode 104 | Meghan and Harry: A Royal Romance and Becoming Royal
51 minutes | 5 months ago
Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga
Do you like Eurovision? Do you like fun? Do you wear a mask in public? Please allow us to point you in the direction of Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga, a gift from the universe for us all. We could not have fewer regrets about dedicating two hours and two bottles of rosé to this movie. It's got songs that slap! It's got Pierce Dad! Honestly, if you need something to get you through until Mamma Mia 3 or the end of quarantine (whichever comes first), you will not go wrong with this film. Please channel the spirit of Eurovision and join us in donating and learning how you can help at the following links: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/# https://secure.actblue.com/donate/bail_funds_george_floyd?refcode=cwg
57 minutes | 5 months ago
We were watching a tv show the other daaaaay... That's right folks, Kirstie watched eight whole seasons of television (ALLEGEDLY) and now it's finally time to talk about Letterkenny, the filthiest show for nice people only. This super soft episode features over 50 minutes of us talking about how much we like this show. Nots to be impolite, but if you have a problem with Letterkenny, you have a problem with us, and we suggest you let that marinate. If you haven't watched it yet... pitter patter! If you appreciates this, please join us in donating and learning how you can help a much more important cause at the following links: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/# https://secure.actblue.com/donate/bail_funds_george_floyd?refcode=cwg
55 minutes | 6 months ago
More Quarantine TV Recommendations
We are back this week with a Kuarantine Korner update, because it appears that Quarantine will never end! Fortunately, Bravo's like a second stew offering us expensive champagne because Below Deck Med is back and we have some thoughts! After we discuss which members of the crew may or may not be unhinged and update our preference sheets for these our Quarantimes, we talk about a few more shows that have piqued our interest, including The Great, Peaky Blinders, and Letterkenny (stay tuned for next week PHEASANTS). In lieu of begging for 5-star reviews, please focus your efforts on a much more worthwhile cause and join us in donating and learning how you can help at the following links: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/# https://secure.actblue.com/donate/bail_funds_george_floyd?refcode=cwgLinks:Episode 127 | Self Quarantine RecommendationsVulture's Guide to TV Shows of the 2010s
50 minutes | 6 months ago
The Durrells In Corfu
Note from your cohosts: This week's episode is coming to you from several weeks ago, so there's a noteworthy lack of commentary about these, our ever changing modern times! In lieu of begging for 5-star reviews, please focus your efforts on a much more worthwhile cause and join us in donating and learning how you can help at the following links: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/# https://secure.actblue.com/donate/bail_funds_george_floyd?refcode=cwg Have you done that? Great! Now if what you need is some escapist tv, we fortuitously chose this week to talk about The Durrells in Corfu. This show may or may not be a prequel to Mamma Mia (yes we know there already is a prequel), and what it lacks in song and dance numbers it makes up for in sass and men that are both Hot and Tall.Links:Episode 127 | Self Quarantine Recommendations
59 minutes | 6 months ago
What happens when one cohost low key picks up homesteading? Apparently, this. We're here to bring you a true hatewatch this week, Discovery Channel's Homestead Rescue. We watched the pilot and we have thoughts about goat enclosures, conspiracy theories, and the patriarchy. We also workshop an iteration of Homestead Flip or Flop, which feels like a lot more fun (call us, Discovery Channel?). While we're at it, Cottage Life Network, please also call us and give us a way to access Brojects. Thank you!
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