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Jeff Foxworthy is at the door, and Mark & Pete are closing the borders with help from Attorney General Jeff Sessions (Paul F. Tompkins), former presidential candidate Jill Stein (D’Arcy Carden), prominent Trump supporter Velveteen Carter (Carl Tart), patriotic singer Miguel Wargo (Craig Rowin), conservative media personality Alex Jones (Henry Zebrowski), video game legend Mario and his talking hat Cappy (Jessica McKenna and Zach Reino), and maybe more. Secret alliances are revealed, murder will be attempted, and things get surprisingly intimate. Plus: Mark offers some words to live by.

DC musical legends The Capitol Steps (Baby Wants Candy's Chris Grace, Ashley Ward, John Hartman and Scott Passarella) return to Hard Nation with catheters in tow, and songs about Sophie’s Choice, Laura Bush’s DUI, the complete history of America and Mockin Jay Pt. 1. Plus: Mark was in an all white male version of West Side Story, and Pete is taking a lot of Fentanyl. And don’t forget about Matthew Broderick...

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders (Pam Murphy) returns to do shuttle runs around the Hard Nation studios. She reveals her true feelings about Hope Hicks, defends her handling of the Stormy Daniels scandal, and reads more real letters that real children wrote President Trump. Plus: Mark leads Pete on a meditative journey.

Former Trump advisor Rick Gates (Andrew Hansen) isn't just a person of interest in the Mueller investigation, he's also a very good boy. He talks to Mark and Pete about what he has in common with Spongebob and Mueller's baby blue eyes, but can't resist some gross-looking but delicious candy. Plus: The Hard boys get some shocking news.

Rising Democratic Senators Elizabeth "Poseidon" Warren (Rachel Bloom) and Chuck "Lil Squish" Schumer (Dan Gregor) waltz into Hard Nation like a couple of Admiral Holdos. Warren thinks all Americans deserve a "double drop" like Splash Mountain, Schumer's famous cousin has been sending him dog crap for 1600 days, and both of them dish on their favorite taffy flavors. Plus: it's Hard Nation's 100th episode!

Newly dreadlocked comedian Jeff Foxworthy (Jason Saenz) brings a backpack full of essential oils to the shores of Hard Nation. With his PR rep (who is a cactus) in tow, he teaches a hapless Mark how to tell his patented “redneck” jokes. Plus: Pete hypothesizes what Olympic curlers are like in the bedroom.

Adult film actress Stormy Daniels (Jamie Denbo) joins Mark & Pete on Hard Nation to allegedly talk about the alleged rendezvous she may or may not have had with our current president. She also shares outspoken thoughts on her failed political career, the death of Aziz Ansari, and which religious group is multiplying like butterflies. Plus: Mark shares his romantic Valentines Day plans.

Actor Alec Baldwin (Lee Rubenstein) leans into five or six different controversies on todays Hard Nation. He talks satire in the age of Trump, what the AB stands for in "ABFoundation," and why America won the hunt for Red October. Plus: Mark shouldnt have invested in Bitcoin. Dilly dilly!

Bestselling Fire & Fury author Michael Wolff (Adam Frucci) stops by Hard Nation, willing to burn any bridges and destroy his personal relationships to offer Mark & Pete some juicy stories. Wolff tells us how Steve Bannon smells and his dream of infiltrating Netflix, before he and Mark engage in some locker room talk. Meanwhile, Pete just wants to protect the mice...

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin (Greg Tuculescu) and his impressive man-boobs arrive on the shores of Hard Nation! Putin claims he wrestles President Trump every time he meets him, endorses a 'strong hug' as his favorite murder method, and admits he wants to take over the United States. Plus: the Hard boys talk Oscar noms!

Former White House strategist and Breitbart.com head Steve Bannon (Josh Simpson) comes to Hard Nation still reeling from his rough dismissal by the President. Steve explains why hes the inspiration for every Seinfeld character and helps Mark with his revenge porn dilemma, while Pete demands to know what an Orange Julius is.

North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un (Sarah Claspell) brings the party to this week's Hard Nation! The brutal dictator tells Mark & Pete he might be in the Olympics, doesn't know what a toilet is, and made Crocodile Rock the national song of North Korea. Plus: Mark swears that Three Billboards is a dark comedy.

HUD secretary Ben Carson (Cory P. Willis) may be a Cabinet member now, but on this weeks Hard Nation he wants to talk about his true passion; the brain. Carson explains why brains never really die, and pitches his animal frat comedy Hippo Campus. Plus: which Hard brother will receive free brain surgery before the episode is over?

Hope...get the machine! New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd (Anna Rubanova) and Trump administration lawyer John Dowd (Adam Bozarth) were accidentally booked together on this weeks Hard Nation. Maureen remembers the time she ate a whole pot chocolate bar, John is covered in pasta, and Trump is scared of yetis. Plus: the Hard boys count down their 2017 year in review!

His Holiness Pope Francis (Jace Armstrong) turns out to be a real sneaky Pete on a Christmas episode of Hard Nation. Francis explains why Jesus was the best, lists his favorite Scientologists, and gets passionate about eating Cheetos in a bubble bath. Plus: Mark goes wassailing in a sketchy neighborhood.

The star and creator of Hamilton, Lin-Manuel Miranda (Dhruv Uday Singh) freestyles through a very dramatic Hard Nation. Lin talks about his all-cat musical Mewsies, envisions a musical based on the Hard brothers and challenges Pete to a duel. Plus: Mark is now a woke-servative."

Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton (Patty Guggenheim) and actress Penelope Cruz (Sofia Gonzalez) arent playing around on this weeks Hard Nation. Penelope wants to throw Woody Allen off a building and almost voiced a churro once, while Kate hates Meghan Markle is and shares her favorite Boxing Day traditions. Plus: Marks wife chose Captain Sully as her hall pass.'

Conservative provocateur James OKeefe (Kale Hills) joins Hard Nation mere days after the Washington Post foiled his latest sting. He tells Mark and Pete why he sees Project Veritas as an immersive theater company, how he got into character as Daddy Peppermint, and his admiration for John Leguizamo. Plus: Pete almost does a character.

Former president Barack Obama (Colton Dunn) returns to Hard Nation for a special Thanksgiving episode! He reveals his true feelings about Hamilton, talks up the pranks he played at the White House, and tells a very disturbing story about Cory Booker. Plus: Mark played King Lear when he was 15 (?) Check out Colton's new movie Lazer Team 2 on YouTube Red and in select theaters!

Richard Painter (Paul Brittain), one of the lawyers suing Donald Trump for ethics violations, gets into the nitty gritty on Hard Nation; why he no longer eats Cap'n Crunch, what makes a Courtyard Marriott different then a regular Marriott, and his favorite Gerry Rafferty song. Plus: Mark attempts to destroy his Keurig. This episode is brought to you by Casper (www.casper.com/HARD code: HARD).