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Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang
63 minutes | May 25, 2021
Episode 29: Shule Ozek (@closetedsoul)
Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 29: Shule Ozek Closeted Soul A conversation with my new friend Shule Ozek from the Closeted Soul podcast. We talk all things spiritual and the esoteric world from tarot cards to mental health to self love and self acceptance. Shule’s story is truly inspiring – a must listen. She’s gone from being an atheist with a negative mindset to a deep soul living in the spiritual world. What you'll learn from this episode Shule’s journey and spiritual transformationSelf LoveSelf AcceptanceSelf DiscoveryTools to use for spirituality: Law of Attraction, Manifestation, Tarot CardsReligionNegativityMental HealthTaking ActionResources Key Quotes from this Episode We all have these desires there for a reason Shule Ozek There's a reason you don't like things and there's a reason that you do like things, you can use that as a navigation system. Shule Ozek We don't go to the school of self-love. I mean, maybe later on in life, I'm like hanging for that. I want to create that for my kids. Shule Ozek Featured Resources on the episode Learn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.Shule’s podcast Closeted SoulShule’s instagram @closetedsoulShule’s coach Erin May HenryEpisode 18 – Your Brain is a Liar Show Transcript [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]: Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang. My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.” My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything. Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose. This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.Ready to grow? Let’s grow! [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro][Episode 29 – Shule Ozek] Podcast interview with Shule Ozek Closeted Soul Intro Hi, beautiful souls.You are in for a treat. On today’s podcast I have Shule Ozek from the Closeted Soul Podcast. She is a former atheist who has undergone an incredible spiritual transformation. Her mission is to inspire you to practice self love, self understanding and self acceptance through the world of the esoteric. Today we chat all things spirituality, spirit guides, tarot cards, mental health, mindset and so much more juicy goodness. Enjoy![Please note the transcript below is as accurate as possible] Getting to know Shule Ozek Phi: Hi Shule, welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang (that’s me haha). I’m so glad to have you here after our conversation. It was like the other week right? Time is just like flying?Shule: Oh my God. It’s flying. It honestly feels like so long ago, but it really, really wasn’t. Thank you so much, I’m so excited to be here. Thank you.Phi: Shule, please tell us a bit more about yourself and your story. I’m sure the listeners would love to know more about you. The last time we spoke actually, the conversation flowed so much, it was so much to talk about. I think you couldn’t shut us up. So I feel like we’re in for a really juicy conversation today. Shule: We really do. I that’s what I was thinking. I was like, I just felt like our conversation was five minutes and before I knew it hour and I’m like, wait, what?I had like set, prepare. I said some questions as well. And I’m like, okay, I’m going to, you know, say this one and say this one. Phi: And then it just went out the windowShule: Out the window because we just flowed, it was nice. I love conversations like that. Phi: Yeah. So tell us you have a podcast, right? Shule: The closeted soul podcast.Phi: I’d love to know about that and your journey, because I saw that you used to be an atheist, which I’m find so hard to believe because we were talking all spiritual woo last time. So tell us about yourself, your journey, the podcast. Shule's story Shule: All right. I didn’t even know where to start, I guess, like, I guess okay. To paint a picture of who I was, because I really can’t recognize that person, like last year, honestly, I would say, yeah, start of 2020.I don’t know who I was. It was just my whole life. I’ve always led my life based on other people’s decisions. I never ever made my own decision ever. I had no sense of like intuition. I was a hardcore atheist. I really, really rejected religion. Spirituality. Didn’t let that in. And. My whole life was kind of like built up to this point where, you know, I was getting the degree and I was moving out with my partner and like all the things that were supposed to happen were happening yet.I was just like riddled with anxiety riddled with self doubt. I hated my life. I was a negative person. And I know that you said, I guess you’re like, okay woman. Sorry. I was so negative. Like I didn’t let myself, uh, look at the positive, any situation I could be on a beautiful holiday and I’d pick out the negative situation in, in, on that holiday.It was such a crappy quality to have, like, I’m surprised at the people in my life have stayed in my life. It really shocks me because I look back now and I’m like, I don’t know how you guys would even tolerate that because it’s just, it was such like lack mentality.Phi: RightShule: So that was May, and like in the year of 2019 was probably like the biggest year for me in terms of like my biological dad ended up passing away and just all of these other things happened in that year.And it was a lot and it really triggered this anxiety that was always in me. But then I started to like kind of wake up with it and it was just constant. And then I would get panic attacks. And then once, like time went on, I realized that I was getting worse and I wasn’t getting better. And I couldn’t, I couldn’t fix, like, I couldn’t fix it.Phi: MmmmShule: Right. I remember I’m a very vocal person. Like, I’ll be very honest about anything that I’m going through. So I remember going to my partner and being like, you know, I’m really unhappy. Like I need help because I was at that point where I’m like, I need help. Like, uh, but he, he, you know, no one can do anything for you when it’s your mindset, that’s trapping you.Right. So through that, through COVID actually hitting, I. I was forced to spend all this time with myself. I couldn’t distract myself with society and I couldn’t distract myself with other people anymore or just life in general because it was all taken away. I couldn’t go to work. I was just at home with myself with my thoughts.And there’s only so much like you should’ve been tick-tock and moving before you run out. Right. So I really got to sit with myself and it was the first time in, I think my whole life that I’ve actually sat with myself and thought like, look at what you’ve become. You’re riddled with anxiety. You’re like, I have like a panic attack nearly every day.I’m so unhappy about my existence here. Like I was actually contemplating not wanting to be here, which is not a place that I ever thought that I would be in. And. I just, I, I can’t believe it like from being that person. And then I, I knew that I had to make a change. I’m like, well, it’s either going to get worse from here, or I’m gonna have to like start doing something.So I became interested in meditation. So I started exploring meditation and it was through practice. Like this didn’t happen straight away, but through practice and constantly showing up. Cause I had nothing else. Like I just, I had to do something. So through practice, I started to be consistent with meditating, taking it seriously, being mindful about it.And then I started to receive the benefits over time and I was like, wow. Like I forgot the last time that I go to feel peace and just that calmness. Right. I just, my body, I just, that, that feeling was so unfamiliar that I craved it. So, you know, I woke up and I was meditating, lunchtime I’m meditating, but literally often doing my part would be like, what are you doing?I’m like, I’m meditating. Maybe like, seriously, I like craved being in that feeling. But then through getting into that feeling, it was really awful mindset. And I was practicing gratitude and slowly, slowly, slowly, things were starting to kind of turn around for me. But then I tapped into a completely different realm that I didn’t even know existed.Like you could imagine going from an atheist, thinking that this is all, all it is to then like meditating and getting in tune with like, just. Another realm, honestly, and just activating something in may that now I cannot close the door to so fast forward to spirituality, just changing my life completely.And then, you know, the self-development grew from there. Cause that’s all spirituality is to me, it’s just self development working on yourself, cultivating that self-love and I get to do it in like a magical, like with a magical lens on life. Like I, I look at life now as like just magic. I’m always like miracles are happening every day and it’s just beautiful to live from this perspective than what I was, what I was living before.So I started the Closeted Soul podcast and it took me a long time to get it. Like to actually trust myself enough to launch the podcast. And I’m so happy I did because just the amount of growth, like I’ve stayed with everyone around me since launching the podcast. Cause you reciprocate what you become to other people around you.So it’s been beautiful, like just watching everyone else evolve and then yourself evolving as well. And just the podcast is all about spirituality. It’s just diving into the esoteric world. And I really just created something that I was craving when I was exploring the spiritual world. I needed people to talk about this stuff because it wasn’t so openly discussed.It was always like it’s too. Woo. Woo. And you, you know, you’re crazy if you think that or if you go down that rabbit hole and I’m just like, well, I, you like. You know, I I’m experiencing the things that I need someone to validate me and tell me yes, I’ve experienced it too. So I created that platform that for that reason. The story behind the name of Shule's podcast Closeted Soul Phi: Amazing. Yeah. It’s so funny. Cause like, when you share your story, I feel like we have so many things in common. It’s like, of course we were going to meet. Of course we’re going to come together. And I just, like, I find the name of your podcast, really interesting Closeted Soul and also the esoteric world.Can you like explain that to us and the name of the podcast and how that came to you?Shule: Yeah. Yeah. Well basically I was toying up. So prior to me going down this path that wasn’t aligned to me, that was based on everybody else’s decision. I always wanted to do YouTube. So since I was 15, it was actually when YouTube first started and I saw this video and I was like, oh my God, I was drawn to it.And I just knew that that’s what I wanted to do. And that’s what I should be doing. But quickly I convinced myself, no, no, like that’s not, that’s not the career path. People go down. And how are you going to make money doing that? You know, Fast forward a couple of years later and everyone’s doing it.Phi: Wow you were onto something!Shule: And I was like, oh my God, I’m so annoyed at myself. Why did I do that? Like, and then it became that be right. So as time went on, I was like, you’re too late. Now the market’s saturated. You’re never going to be something, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like it’s not to base something, but it was just to like, it was this lifestyle, like this lifestyle of creation and doing something you’re genuinely passionate about and being creative and just not living that nine to five, like that linear, that just isn’t for me, it is for some people, but for me, it’s, it’s wasn’t for me.And I couldn’t like grasp that. It was like, I, I used to always ponder about that. I used to be like, is this seriously going to be my life? Like, I’m going to go to work nine to five and just do this day in, day out. Like what? Um, so yeah, I allowed myself to stay in that. I allowed myself to stay in that and I tried to follow that linear.I was like, you’re going to find happiness. You’re going to find happiness. It’s going to be fine. And obviously I wasn’t following my desires because my desire is from when I was 15, was to start that YouTube channel. That was my, you know, when people were like, what do you want to do with your life? I’m like, I want to do that. So, um, I, yeah, I just, that happens. I always had that design then when I had my awakening and I was being reintroduced to my soul again, and I was really uncovering all of these parts of myself that I really looked and I didn’t allow in those desires that I suppressed because I told myself I wasn’t good enough.So I allowed that to come out again. And when that really really came out, oh my God, it was just. A whole new ball game, because I saw like those desires for creation and being online and being an entrepreneur and like just living this lifestyle that I’ve always wanted to create, that started to come out.And I was like, that’s how you’re going to find your happiness when you start following your desires, when you start following your bliss. So I went back and forth for a good year, not a year, six months with the, with the podcast. So I had the idea for six months and it was actually during the new moon.Phi: Of course!Shule: Cause I was like trying to manifest and I was just sitting there and meditating and I, um, have quite a close relationship now with my like spirit team. So they like communicate with me. It was, they’re very like involved in my spiritual evolution. So it’s been nice to kind of have them there, but I yeah.Kind of tapped into them and they just gave me the name.Phi: Wow! That’s crazy. Shule: Yeah. And then I was like, what? Okay. So I was sitting on that for so long and I just had it there and I was like, okay, okay. Day. Um, it actually, yeah, I ended up investing in a coach, which we discussed on my process.I invested in a coach, her name’s Erin Henry. I don’t know if anyone’s ever heard of her, but she was actually a client of mine.Phi: So crazy how it all like comes together.Shule: Right. That is so yeah, no, she really helped me step into my power. She was just kinda like, you know, you want to do this so much, like what’s stopping you? Shule and Phi discuss fear Shule: And I think it’s that fear that really keeps people like here. Um, but then when you start like stepping into the fear and you start doing the thing that was like paralyzing you. It just becomes addictive. You’re like, oh my God, I want to do the next thing. And the next thing, and the next thing do your experience though.Phi: I was just thinking literally this is so crazy because LA this week I did like a post on fear about how it stops you. Like, it kind of does stop you from doing things, but it also makes you do things like you didn’t really want to, but you like actually stop yourself from living life when you are fear.Like I say, it keeps you stuck small and scared. Like that’s what fear does, right?Shule: Absolutely. It does. And I was actually, this reminds me of a conversation I was having with a good friend of mine, but she’s quite like in this like, confused place right now. And she knows what she should be doing, but she’s not doing it because she’s scared.She’s fearful of what’s going to happen if she takes that step. And I remember just thinking to myself, it’s so funny how the mind is just so comfortable in discomfort or like this confused energy, because it’s just like, I’d rather be confused because I know I don’t have to take action from this. Phi: That hits deep girl!Shule: It’s true. It’s true. It really got me thinking. Yeah. I was like, wow, it’s so funny how we stay here. And we just don’t do the thing because when you do the thing, you, it’s just, you feel like I honestly, I feel like I have superpowers when I’m doing it. And I’m like, whoa. Like I couldn’t even believe that I had the capability of doing that.Even just doing this podcast with you now. Like I just. Oh, my God. Like if this was may last year, I’d be like paralyzed with fear. I’d be like, oh my God,Phi: Hahaha I don’t believe you (because Shule has come so far and is so different now!)But growth isn’t logical. Right? Like I always tell my clients I’m like, growth is not logical. That’s why people quantum leap, you’ve definitely quantum leaped. Like it doesn’t make sense to the mind because it’s not rooted in the mind. Shule and Phi discuss anxiety, self discovery and avoidance Phi: I love that you were kind of speaking about meditation and breathing, being the gateway.You know, we discuss like going back into the body, but I know you’re really passionate about self-discovery because I know you did a podcast episode, all about tarot cards.And now I find out that your spirit team helped you with your name. So you clearly can get in touch with the spirit. And I’d love for you to kind of maybe for anyone listening about their self-discovery journey and your playing with tarot cards and any other techniques or tips that you can share with the listeners today.Shule: Yeah, I can. Absolutely. I guess the first, like main thing that self-discovery was with me was actually prioritizing myself, giving myself that time back because that’s what I didn’t do whenever I would have a free moment. I would put like a podcast on a YouTube and I would just drown myself in somebody else’s life and things that weren’t, uh, yeah, just things that weren’t myself, because I couldn’t be in my own anxiety and I couldn’t be in my own mind because it was so toxic.And I think that’s what anxiety is like. I think you anxiety comes about because you believe the thoughts that are being perpetuated by your mind. But when you really take the time to actually sit with yourself and observe the mind, and it sounds so cliche, but seriously, when you actually sit there and you let whatever needs to come up, come up, you get to see that the mind is actually quite irrational.Mm. It doesn’t make sense. Phi: Yes the brain is a liarShule: It is a liar. It’s not you, you did an episode called the brain of it. Yeah, because it’s true. The brain is a liar. It’s not, it’s not telling you the truth. And when you really get to like step back and disassociate from that part of you, you get to say, oh, that’s a bit irrational.And it helps you in so many ways because you don’t get consumed by it. And then you don’t make decisions from that place as well. Because a lot of the time we’re making these anxiety induced decisions or like fear based decisions based on that anxiety and the mind. Right. We’re not actually choosing from a place that is like our heart.Our our soul or desires. So, so that was really important for me to actually spend the time. And I think it’s important for everyone to develop some sort of a practice because it’s life changing. I remember I was talking to my best friend about this recently as well, but she was saying, I don’t believe, you know how people say, oh, meditation isn’t for me, just doesn’t work for me. Shule on meditation and avoidance Phi: YesShule: I don’t believe she was saying she doesn’t believe that, but same. I just believe that it is for everyone. You just have to develop a way to do it with yourself. If you’re struggling to meditate it’s because there’s something you were avoiding.Phi: Yeah, cause that kind of links back to what you said. I find, I see that with a lot of clients as well. They don’t want to listen to their own voice. They’d rather fill it in with anything else. It could be technology eating, drinking, like as long as they can avoid that mind space. So it was really interesting that you brought it up because can you kind of recall a time when you were like there and you’re like, I don’t want to feel this feeling and you’re like just trying to resist?And don’t you find that the more you resist it persists? Shule: Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I can think of a million situations where I’ve done that. Like I’m not sitting here like, oh my God. I’m like transcended and I’m fine. And I’ve overcome the ego. Oh my God. No, I am still like working with that side of myself all the time.So it’s just about. Kind of just jumping into it again, like just being like, no, I’m going to face it. Like, I think when you’re meditating, when you’re sitting there, the body’s like trying to do everything exactly what you said to like get out of it. Cause it’s like, I should be doing this. This is time wasting, but really just saying no to the body, like start, don’t get up, don’t do this.Like, just take this time for yourself. It’s just about actually doing the thing and the practice of the thing. And then you start to see the benefits of the thing and that’s what keeps you consistent. And that’s what makes you realize, wow, I actually really needed this. So I, my, my best advice is honestly just to do it and just to be consistent regardless of how hard it is.So if it’s hard, I think there’s work to be done there. And I think you should do like that all the more reason to do that with yourself. Phi: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that’s really interesting in your journey as well, because, um, so this kind of brings me back because last night I was talking to my friends and a lot of my friends are skeptics of tarot cards and I was a bit like, Ooh, and then they were a bit worried, like, oh, did I offend her? Shule's spiritual journey Phi: And so I want to know your perspective because you went from atheist to very spiritual and you’re very open about it. And how has that journey been personally for you? You know, when people don’t believe you’re like, oh, tarot cards don’t exist. I don’t believe in spirit guides. How do you deal with that? Shule: I guess, uh, sorry.I’m just like, you asked that question before and I just jumped onto something completely different. Phi: No, no, no. This is the flow let’s get in. Let’s keep going. Shule: Um, so I guess with, with that, I. I struggled the most with my partner, I think. And I think this is the problem for lots of people, because my partner is quite a realist and our dynamic was really, really hard for us because we would bond over being atheists and realist together.Phi: Oh, wow. Shule: Like a big black pot of our relationship. The fact that we didn’t like conform to religion and stuff. So it was weird like, cause we connected on that so much. And then for me to completely 360 and be like, oh my God, they’re their spirit guides the universe like, oh my God, I’m at the higher power.Phi: Did he think you were pranking him? He’s like, what is this? What happened to her? Shule: I’m lucky. Like it was hard. It was really, really hard, but he’s, he’s shown so much, uh, He’s shown like interest in it. Like, not that he can relate on the conversations that we have or anything like that, but more like in like the create, like the career path, I’m trying to go down what I’m trying to create. Shule on her spirituality and the impact on her relationship Shule: He buys me like tarot decks. He actually bought me my first tarot deck. Phi: Oh, wow.Shule: He shows his support doing that sort of stuff. So he that’s, that’s kind of his way to be like, I’m supporting you in this, even though it’s really weird. But then I had to learn some ground rules as well and be like, okay, I understand you’re learning everything.That’s like completely blowing your mind, but some people aren’t ready to hear that. And that’s fine. It’s just not their path either. It’s going to be their path on this lifetime or it’s not, and it’s not my job to convince them. Phi: Mmmm Shule on religion Shule: I realized like the reason why I was an atheist and I was so like, I didn’t want anything to do with religion was because I felt like it was forced.I felt like I was told what to believe, how to be, how to act, if I wasn’t that way I would be punished. And I really had an interesting upbringing with religion because my parents are primarily Muslim. And then my, my mom ended up breaking up with my dad and she was still a Muslim, but one of those she’s so cool.I don’t understand why she was like this, but she, she would just really embrace being in Australia and exploring the culture. So I always got to celebrate Christmas, Easter, like all of the fun things. Phi: MmmmmShule: So I, and I did Beetham as well. So all of the things I did, I celebrated everything and I went to a Muslim primary school and a Christian High school. And through that, I realized that it was like, in my mind, I’m like, this is all basically the same. We’re all saying the same thing, but in different ways. So the whole, like fear that’s embedded in religion turned me off. And I was like, mmm mmmm I don’t want anything to do with that. So then when I had my awakening, it happened so organically, it happened so naturally.So I was getting the experiences because I was tapping into something that I didn’t even know existed. And then I would go to the internet and be like, what the hell is happening to me? What is this experience? And I would try to validate it with other people’s experiences. And that’s what drew me to spirituality.That’s what made me go, oh my God, I’m a whole hearted believer. I like, I’ll be preaching if there’s a spirituality church, I’m the trip like preaching because it was something that just happened on its own. And I think I lacked spirituality in that. It is so like the way that I follow it, it’s so freeing in that.It’s really whatever I want it to be, whatever I need it to be. And. I like it because like, you can believe in whatever you want to believe. It I’ll believe in whatever I want to believe in. And I think like, that’s the best way to navigate it. ,Skeptics, like my boyfriend is the biggest skeptic. I’ve proved to him so many times that I’ve like psychic. I predicted something. And he still like finds ways to just be like, no, that’s a coincidence. That’s this. And I’m just like, okay. Like, if you want to live your life through that perspective, that’s fine. I want to live life in a magical, we all have this ability. We’re all intuitive perspective. And that’s, that’s, that’s my power. Shule on intuition Phi: Ooooh I was going to ask you because some people like what if they can connect to the intuition? You don’t believe that or you think maybe they’re not open to it? Shule: I, I believe that everyone can. I think because I was that person that used to be like, I don’t have an intuition seriously fade.The way that I would make decisions was back back. This is partially the way that I would make decisions was I would consult everyone around me. So I’d be like, you know, What do you say? What do you think? What do you think? What do you think? And then I’d get the, the decision based on what everybody else picked.And I remember one time I was doing that same thing to my best friend, like I always did. And she just looked at me and she snapped because she always had that sense of intuition. And she’s like, don’t you have a sense of intuition. She’s like, why do you always make decisions like this? It’s like, it really like triggered her.Cause she’s like, you just rely on other people’s opinions and you don’t rely on yourself. And she’s like, don’t you have that thing that tells you what to do. And I was like, I don’t know what you’re talking about. And I couldn’t say it from her perspective until I had the awakening. And I was like, wow, now I don’t consult anyone with any decision.I just tell people what I’m going to do. And I’m like, I’m doing that. So I just completely consult myself. Shule on her identity, self acceptance and tarot cards Phi: So powerful. They literally gave me chills. I’m like, you’re literally, literally like the living, breathing thing of it. Like you’ve seriously gone, like a whole different journey and your identity is so interesting.And I know that you’re really passionate about self-love, but I want to delve into self acceptance because that’s something that you really talk about. And so how do you think that all comes together for your life about the whole self-acceptance and having all these different identities and coming that whole journey, being like, you know what?I am my own person. I have my own voice and I’m here to speak about it and show the world right?Shule: Yeah, uh, that comes with many different things. Um, bringing it back to what you said, the tarot cards, like the tarot cards as something that really, really helped me actually connect back to myself. So you can look at tarot any way that you want oracle cards, whatever, however you like, right.It could either be communicating with your highest self or it could be communicating with like your spirit team, whatever you want to believe in. Uh, it’s really just your interpretation. However you believe you’re getting the information. So when you’re doing tarot, it’s not about actually looking at the like definitions of what the tarot cards mean or the oracle cards or what somebody else has written because it’s your interpretation.That’s important. So when you really get to like analyze the image and what feeling is that bringing up? That’s what strengthens the intuition, but not only that, then actually following that guidance. And then through just the practice of doing that, you strengthen that relationship with yourself. And that’s really how I did it with myself.That’s one of the biggest ways I. Develop this relationship with myself. So it was just a good way to kind of get like the cards are good visual way to get what was happening in my head out onto a table. And I could see it right. And then I showed myself that I trust myself and I trust my guidance by actually taking the action.And I think taking the action is where people struggle the most. And there’s really no formula. There’s really no, there’s no formula other than just doing it. I don’t know if you agree with that?Phi: I just think it’s so interesting. I’ve never really heard about anyone describe tarot like that. You know what I mean?Shule: Yeah. It’s such a powerful way because it just, it regardless, even though I believe I’m talking to my spirit guides through the cards, as well as my highest self, you don’t have to look at it as a spiritual thing. If you really struggle with like trusting yourself, it’s just about. Yeah. Playing with the card, saying what comes out?What does that make you feel? You know? Shule on self trust Phi: Yes. Self-trust is a very interesting concept. I definitely haven’t trusted myself. I mean, now I do, but definitely before I did it, do you have any tips on how somebody could build their self-trust or anything that you’ve experienced to help you? Shule: Yeah, I honestly just think it’s just doing the thing that you know, that you know you should be doing.Like there’s that, you know, that saying where people say, um, where they say, I don’t know what I should be doing. I don’t know what I want. Yes, you do. You know what you want? I’ve been saying that for years and years and years and deep down, I knew what I wanted, but I was like, I don’t have any passions.Yes, you do. You just, you. Uh, choosing to say, I didn’t have any passions because your desires are too much for you to actually let you go into that thing. Right? Because you you’re scared. You’re scared about not working out. Maybe it’s not as accepted by society. Um, maybe it’s not what everyone else does.Maybe it’s different. Maybe it will make you feel left out. So I think, uh, realizing that, and then realizing that that’s important. Like we all have these desires there for a reason, your desire Phi is going to be completely different to my desires, programmed differently. We want different things, but he have for different things, but he had to fulfill different things for different people, whatever.Right. So it’s important to realize that. And I think we can get trapped in that. We all want the same thing, but we don’t. Hmm. Phi: Yes. Shule: I think really using that and trusting that what’s, there is there for a reason.There’s a reason you don’t like things and there’s a reason that you do like things, you can use that as a navigation system.I don’t like that. That’s not for me. I’m going to go down this way. So don’t suppress that part of yourself because it’s only going to lead to like an unhappy life, which it did for me for so, so, so long. So I say the best way to trust yourself is to actually follow that desire and take action. Like actually follow the thing, do the thing, prove to yourself that that was the right, uh, that was the right message or that was the right path for you.And then through that action of like continuing to go in that direction, you’ll realize, okay, that’s how I trust myself. Like you just weren’t even questioned it. Like whenever things come up, you’re like, okay, I know that’s what I have to do now because I’ve done it time and time again. And it’s proven me right. Shule on growing through life Phi: Yeah. You’re like blowing my mind. Cause I mean, we’re talking about concepts. Like they’re not new concepts. Right. But just like the way you explain it is a very different perspective to mine. And I love that we all have stupid similar, but really different. And I love that you’re sharing all of that. And so, I mean the podcast name, right. It’s called the Grow Through It podcast. So it’s all about, you know, this podcast is don’t just go through life, go through it. So what will you say is like been your catalyst for growth and what really like kind of shot you up and you’re like, yep, I’ve got to do this. This is my growth. This is my waking.Like, whatever that is for you?Shule: Uh, for me, I guess like the thing that showed me up into growth was I did reach this really, really bad point in my life where I, like I said, I was contemplating being here. I was contemplating the will to live. I was really, really just reaching out to people around me. Like I need help.Like I’m so unhappy. I was riddled with anxiety and self doubt and. It was either I was going to stay that and it was going to get worse. And to be honest, like I know that this is really crap to say, but I don’t even know if I’d be sitting here. If I followed that path. I don’t know if I’d be here right now, having this conversation with you.Like, it’s just crazy to think, like, cause it was, it was bad and it was just getting worse and worse and I’m not gonna lie. Like I was quite a neglectful towards mental health. I didn’t understand it until I went into it. And then I understood it and I was like, wow, like I understand now how like profound and how hard it can be.So kind of being in that, it was either like I had to make a decision and say that you’re going to stay there and it’s going to get worse and worse and worse, or you’re going to make that change. And you’re going to start like giving yourself what you need, what you’re like, my soul is yearning for. And once you start doing that, like.It’s either going to get better or it’s going to completely suck. So I think like I got to this point where it was like life or death, really, as dramatic as that sounds, it was life or death. For me, it was either you start listening to yourself and listening to your soul, your desires and following, you know, everything that’s in you that you really, really wanted to explore and you want to let out, or you keep it suppressed and you stay unhappy and then it gets worse and it gets worse.Then it gets worse. Shule and Phi discuss mental health Phi: Wow. Yeah. Thank you so much for sharing. And you don’t like, I don’t think we talk about enough about it, like that issue of like contemplating your place in society and being alive here. Right? Like we all kind of like, you talk about it when it’s like mental health week or mental health month.And then we kind of like tip toe around it because like, Ooh, it’s like so controversial and we’re like, skip. I’m like, let’s not be scared about it. Like, let’s talk about it. Right. Because somebody is listening and being like, I’ve made that, I’m feeling this right now. And so I guess, like, what do you think really kind of push you?Like I know you were kind of, um, delving more into spirituality and breathing, but do you know when you, at that place, like some people, like, how did you find that will, how did you get that motivation to be like, okay, I’ve got to change it because, you know, I think we’ve all been there. We’ve been just so down and we feel like we’re in like this whirlpool and we cannot get out and we’re like drowning and we’re like trying to scream for help, but we’re like, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.How did you make that leap? Shule: How did I do it? I just like black. I said it just actually got to that life or death point. Like it was either I stay in my misery and I’m not here anymore. Like I do the things that I’m thinking about, or I, I take, I try to make a change and it was hard. Like I’m not going to sit here and say it was easy.And like, once I did it, like it skyrocketed, no, like I was trying to meditate for a good four months in that period. And I, I couldn’t, I couldn’t even stand being alone with my own mind, but I’m quite a persistent person. And I guess, like, that’s just a quality that I have where I really, really, um, I’ve always envisioned a happy life for myself and I never like wanted to be in like misery, you know what I mean?So I really just envisioned like envisioned a playful, happy life. And I wanted that so much. And when I hit adulthood and like all this like crappy shit was happening, I was like, Uhhhhh, like, it’s just getting like worse and worse and worse. And is this what adulthood is it? Does it just get worse? Because I was surrounded by adults with like such a negative mindset and I was like, oh my God, I just felt way down.That’s the best way I can describe it. And, uh, I guess that, like that, like that envision that I had, like deep down that I just wanted and crave like a happy life and just to be happy and grateful. So I think that that was just within me. Like I said, Phi: It’s beautiful. Shule: Yeah. It’s in you or it’s not right. So yeah.You decide kind of how you want to go with it because, you know, I’ve seen people go the other way, completely like down a bad path and it breaks my heart that they don’t feel like they can get out of it. But I really believe that it’s just something that you have to find within you.Phi: I think you can always get out, right?Like, um, I genuinely a hundred percent believe it. And I think that’s something that’s really comes through in what you’ve just said. It’s like holding that vision, like whether it’s manifesting or getting yourself out of a bad time, you have to hold the vision. You have to hold that. Hope that even if it doesn’t look like it’s happening, it can happen.We live in a quantum reality. It could just drop out of the sky. Like I tell that to so many clients, like, I mean, if we, if I talked to you like a year ago, you’re probably like, no, I’m not gonna be a positive person. I don’t believe in spiritually, but I could be like, do you, well, maybe you will be. And then here you are.Shule: Right. You’re so right. You’re so right. And I also want to bring it back to what you said about the mental health, like it being such a taboo topic and this about it. I completely agree. I think it’s something that we should talk about. We should start talking about this because so many people stay with that.And that was a big thing with me. Like I, um, do you know much about astrology. Phi: Yes. I love astrology. You know me? Shule: Yes. I’m a Virgo ascendant. So that means like ascendent is kind of how people see you have it all together. They look like they’re very structured, organized, and they just have it all together.So in my deep down in my head, I’m like sh like the looking for the world to live and people like, oh, wow, she’s got it all sorted, look it up going, you know, graduating with that degree, moving out with her partner, like all of this is happening for her. So that’s like kind of what I was portraying, but like deep down, I was hurting so much.Right. And I’m looking around at other people and you know, people don’t talk about this stuff very openly. And I’m like, no one asked is feeling this. Am I alone in this? What’s wrong with me? And then like, whoa. So then having these conversations just makes you think, okay, I’m not alone. I’m not the only one who goes through this.So it’s just powerful that you said that. And I think it’s true. Like you put up that post recently. Um, uh, what was it called? It was the one we had, like the three words. Phi: I can’t even remember.Shule: Uh, but that just, you, you were talking about mental health. You were really honest Phi, which I love. Phi: Oh, yes. Yeah.Shule:It’s just, it’s so nice and refreshing to say that on social media, because it can be. Hard to.Phi: Oh yeah. You’re giving me all the flashbacks. Sorry, everybody. I would say we were laughing because I was say I’m so present that. I forget like all these things, but it was, yeah. So this week I was really ill, like, so ill that I couldn’t like watch TV.I couldn’t even like read a book and it taught me surrender. And I was like, oh my gosh, I just have to surrender to this. I can’t fight this. If this cold wants to take over, I’ve just got to let it do its thing. And I felt all these things and I was like, oh, actually I didn’t even want to, um, upload that because I felt a bit angry because in that photo I was like really down and really angry at the world.I was like, oh my gosh, I’m so sick of myself. Right. But like you said, it’s so important to talk about these things. Especially people like us who have a platform. I don’t want people to think that I’m happy all the time. Cause I’m definitely not. So it was a beautiful moment. I remember writing that and I’m like, it’s just such a true.It’s just so much truth in that post and what you said, and I love that you had that experience. I really, really do. I was teaching. I mean, what’s your experience with surrender? Because I think I said in the post, like people think surrendering is like, you give up. Right. But I think there’s so much power in being like, you know what, okay, take me with the flow.Let me go where you want me to go. And I surrender and I felt really powerful by the end of the week, style awake, nor angry at surrender. So I wanted to know your experiences about surrender. Shule on surrender Shule: So, um, I do struggle with that, but I think what ends up happening is it kind of gets to this point in my mind where I’m like, okay, there’s no like. So, okay. I guess, like to be as truthful and honest as I possibly can, which is what we’re talking about, but I was getting caught up in analytics.So I was getting caught up with like analytics on posts and podcasts and all of this, like, and it was like feeding my ego almost. Right. So it was like, um, I remember like the podcast hit, like, was it like a thousand downloads or something like that? And I was like, oh my God, that’s so exciting. And I was going to go on social media and just be like, oh my God, thank you guys so much.And I like stopped for a moment. And I was like, okay, what am I going to do that. Like, what is this full? What am I really saying? Thank you to the listeners, or am I doing it to feed my ego? Am I doing it to prove to people that the podcast gets downloads? You know what I mean? And that ended up being the reason I was looking for validation.I wanted other people to know that I was succeeding and that it was going somewhere. And I’m like, that’s not the way that I want to live. I don’t want to live my life based on other people and getting validation from them because that’s how I’ve lived my entire life. And that made me extremely unhappy.I need to be able to give that to myself. I need to be able to just really celebrate that on my own. So I didn’t post that. And I stopped and I was like really proud of myself, like realizing that that came up and I got to stop myself in that moment and be like, why is he doing this? Oh, my goodness. Yes.Because gosh, so many times I’ve been there to anything in life. I’m like, wait, you know, like people say like, I want a relationship or I want lots of money, but I’m like, is that what you really want? Or are you just subscribing to something that’s picked up along the way when you were growing up and you’ve just kept going with it.Like so many times I’m like, wait, is this what I want? Or is this like, find my mom wants me to do all society.Phi: Right. And for you to share, Shule that is so powerful. To be able to be like, oh my gosh, what am I actually doing this for? And being humble enough to be like, yeah, that was my ego. And we all have an ego, right? Shule on the ego Phi: I mean, what’s your take on the ego? Because I had this relationship where I was like, the ego is so evil, but I’ve come to realize that ego is just doing its bit to protect you at all costs. You know, I say. The mind is not for your happiness, it’s wired for your survival. So what’s your take on the ego and your experiences with ego and maybe dissolving the ego cause that’s damn hard.Shule: Yeah. I don’t think like it’s, you shouldn’t really dissolve the ego. Cause like you said, it’s important. It’s there and you realize it’s not such an evil thing. It, the ego is that defense mechanism that protected us when we were a child, when we know something bad happened to us and it came in to like be there for us.So the ego is a massive part of us. And my friend actually gave me this analogy and I really find it so helpful. I think kind of, uh, her name on Instagram is elevating consciousness. Um, she talks to her ego in a way where she treats it like a child, like a little baby child. So whenever it’s starting to play up where it’s like, I’m not getting attention or this isn’t happening or this didn’t get so many likes and now I’m sad.Like that, that part that comes up, she will then talk to as if like a kid like it’s okay. You’re still loved. You’re still very accepted. I accept you. So it’s just that back and forth, like catching the ego and that’s what I’ve been doing. And I found it so helpful because when you actually look at how the agar reacts and like it acts out, you’re like, it actually is very childlike.It is just that in a child like that, didn’t get something when you were a kid and it’s acting out now as an adult. So to actually catch that, if you, if you can like really, you know, develop a mindfulness practice and you can really get to know yourself and then you can catch those things. Like, you know how I could catch myself in that moment and be like, why are you doing this?Um, in that moment. And then you just talk to that, that, that ego side of you. And you’re like, it’s okay. We’re still loved. Those are fine. Like, you know what I mean? Phi: I love that because you know, it goes really hand in hand with consciousness and awareness. That’s like the parent, right? It’s not like your, you don’t love your children.It’s just like, you’re the parent watching the kid, having the tantrum and you’re trying to like appease it and make a decision out of your best awareness as an adult self. So I think that’s really, really cool. And I love that you had those conversations with your friends. And so a lot of listeners, like they always want to know, like, you know, do you have any books that have been really, you know, spiritual, not spiritual? Shule on her favourite books, podcasts, resources Phi: Well, they could be spiritual, but I mean development to your growth or, you know, any favorite quotes that really resonated with you that you’d be able to share with us.Shule: So a really good book for ego, like really like catching the ego is called what’s it called conversations with the devil by Napoleon hill.Have you heard of it? I’ve heard of it, but I haven’t read it. It’s such a good raid because it’s very, it’s the devil is the ego basically. So just like develop, like, learning how that works and how that manifests into our minds at what age that manifests. And then like really understanding that. And I guess for me, because a lot of my self development journey has been spiritual based.Like it was me really relying on the spiritual podcasts and things like that. So I really, really enjoyed in terms of podcasts. I really enjoyed, um, manifestation, babe. Phi: Oh, yes. Yes. Shule: I just, I love her. I love her content. It’s so wholesome. It’s so nice. Um, so I learned a lot through this, uh, balanced, blonde podcasts as well.I learnt a lot through that podcast. Um, I’m trying to think what was. That would be my, um, a lot of my main recommendations are really good wine. If you want it get like deep into this boat of spirituality, understanding the ego and all of that, her name is Christina alerts and she’s on YouTube. She really helped me a lot as well.Like really gives detailed explanations and then tangible tools on how to like get through certain situations or overcome blocks. And it’s very, very helpful in that the video is so detailed and they’re all for free on YouTube. So she just shared so much value, but she really, really helped me as well. Shule and Phi discuss coaching and investing in yourself Phi: Oh, great. Thank you so much for sharing because I mean, I definitely agree. I think we are so lucky. Like when has there been a time in the earth where you can access everything for free? Like genuinely, like everything is free and it’s out there. Right. You just have to find it. But then I also think like when you invest in yourself, like say a coach, like you have, and I haven’t, you know, the clients of mine, it is a different journey because you put your skin in the game, like your energies behind it, because you’re putting a resource behind it.It’s not to say like it’s better growth or anything. It’s just a different place, a different energy, maybe at a different rate. What is your take on that? Cause I don’t like the stuff like I’m a life coach and I’m saying like, you don’t have to work with a life coach to get better. Like, I don’t believe that at all. I think you accelerate it, but I don’t think it’s necessary. What do you, what’s your take?Shule: I love that you say that because it’s empowering, you give people the power back. And that was a lot of what I realized when we were talking on the episode that we did together on my podcast.It was, you were really, really talking about, uh, how you really pull that out of people. You’ll kind of just there just kind of thing. People’s guide back to themselves really, right? Phi: Yeah. What’s in them. It’s that.Shule: You all have it within you. Like we all do. We all have the capability of pulling ourselves up and I think like you’re so right, like investing in a coach.The may, it was like, I’m going to prove to myself that I’m putting myself first. Finally, because for me at that point, I was at this point where I was like, okay, I know what I need to be doing, but I’m too scared to take the step. I’m too scared to do it. So I needed that support. So when I invested that money into that coast coach, she helped me then, like, it’s kind of like, okay, you’re investing in yourself.You just put that much money into investing in yourself and your growth and your, you know, you really gonna disappoint yourself by like wasting all that money and not doing the thing. And then that person becomes your cheerleader. Right. And they’re like to do it usually. Yeah. She’s like, you have it all within you.Like just do it, just do it, just do it. And then somebody like that, believing in you, also somebody that’s doing like, usually we invest in people that have what we want. Right. Like what we’re looking for. So having that person behind you saying I did it, you can do it too. That’s really helpful because you’re like, okay.Yeah, like she could do it. I’m going to do it. So it’s so like investing in a coach, if you have like. The financial means to do so. And you want to prove to yourself that you’re important and you’re going to take off, you’re going to follow your desires. It’s with it a hundred percent. And it was the best investment I’ve ever made. Shule on taking action Phi: Oh, I love that. I love that. And I think for our conversation today, I really learnt that you’re very action orientated, girl, you move, you make moves. Like you don’t just like sit there and stagnate. And so I wonder, have you ever been in that place where, because you’re like such an action, take-away you feel like you’re stuck and when you’re stuck, like, what do you do?Shule: Like I said, I was stuck for the whole year. Like I had, I had the podcast idea in last year, year, and I wanted to, I purchased like the blog and all of it in media last year. And I did not take action until February this year. So that was like a good six to seven months that I just didn’t listen to myself.But I just, I didn’t do the thing. So that wasn’t me and what I did, funnily enough, I invested in a coach. Yeah. It’s funny. It’s true. Like, I think I was, I still remember my first coach. I was very reluctant, but it is something about it. Like your energy and the money you just like, I can’t not do it now.Phi: I always say that my clients are like, hi, their dreams are hiring me because the dreams want to happen. And they’re like, can you just please stop the process and like, get along and do what you need to do. But it just shows that you just sometimes like you do it. And even though you feel scared, even though you’re, you know, you’re worried about being judged, right?Shule: Like, and you grow a lot in your self love as well, because you’re like, I love myself. I’m going to do this for myself. I love myself enough to not be so worried about other people’s judgments. And so I love to know like your take on self love and your growth and journey. Yeah. Uh, I love that. You said that that’s exactly right.It’s just that stepping into fear and then it becomes addictive because you’re like, oh my God, I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. And then you keep going natural drug. I actually forgot the question. Oh yeah. So I was saying like, because when we step into the fear, but I think it takes a lot of self love to do it.Phi: Right? Because you love yourself enough to invest in yourself. You love yourself enough to do the things, even though people might judge you. And so I wanted to know like your take on self love and the development of yourself love in your like spiritual growth. Shule: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, that was something that’s probably been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to cultivate in this life, loving myself enough to give myself the life that I’ve always dreamed really has been like such a journey with me with self-love and I still struggle.Like there’s still things that I have to work on, but I’m so like, I, I have come such a long way with it. I have, I really, really have, and I am proud of myself and I think that’s a good reminder for people to look at kind of where they were and where they are now as well, because I think you can get, you can get lost in the growth and you’re like the next thing, the next thing.But then you’re like, wait, look at how much I’ve changed. Like this is me right now in may last year. It was just a completely different person. Like I’m so proud of me. So just taking those moments, really like really, uh, being my cheerleader, like whenever I would have those little minor milestones where I, you know, posted my first story did my first podcast, like celebrating that and celebrating me and celebrating my ability to do that. Shule on self love Shule: So really like. Also spending time with myself, like loving myself enough to like set boundaries was really, really important. I was like such like a giver and people like really projected onto me. And I would take that on. I was like an empath and I would literally, I would be like, so like wake and broken and I would need like time to myself.But if somebody asks me to like, be there with them for a thing, I would go, cause I’m like, you need me, I’ll be there for you. So it was like cutting, like getting out of that mindset that I had to be like that. And like really giving back to myself and being like, you know what, Monday to Friday is for me, no, one’s going to get me in that time.It’s mine and weekends, I would give to other people. And that like being able to rejuvenate my energy, spending time with myself because doing those mindfulness practices like meditating and, you know, having like a spiritual bath with Epsom salts, playing with my crystals, playing with my tower, like that brings me back to my soul and it makes me so happy.Connects me back to my hot and. I need that time with myself. So like making that a priority over other people. And then once you can really like nourish that version of yourself, you’re showing yourself, I love you. I love you. And I’m going to give that to you. That’s what you want. That’s what makes you happy?I love you. I’m going to give you the things that you want. Nourishing a buddy, even like eating those good foods, like feeding your body. Things that feel good. Like when I was in a really, really bad place, I didn’t care about my health. I didn’t care about how I was feeding myself and my, I, I shuffled for it.I’ve developed celiac disease, really bad IBS, like just so many things and even CBO at some point. So like, I just, wasn’t listening to my body. It just got really, really bad. So showing myself that I love myself, I’m making like a nice nutritious meal, like spending the time to do that. Just those small acts of self-love.Does that make sense? Phi: I feel like absolutely. No, no. I was just listening so deeply. Cause I was like, that’s so very true because you don’t realize that. Well, I feel like people think you have to do things for self-love, but I genuinely believe self-love is the lifestyle. Right? You should be loving yourself in every moment and be able to make the choices because yes, there is hard, but it’s like, when you are talking about it, I was like, yeah, she actually becomes such a better person and a better friend because you are like at your full and then you’re like, okay, I can give to you because I’m so happy.I’m so connected. And. Like, I think it was like talking about this with a client, because I was like, you know what self love, like your friends should respect that. Right? Like, I wouldn’t be like, oh gosh, do you want to take a weekend off? Because you’ve had a terrible week at work. Like, how dare you? Like, I don’t think any normal friend would be like, no, you can’t do that.Like, it’s just weird. This we’re bringing all the threads in, but like your mind just makes up all this crap. Shule: Right. And no one teaches you how to love yourself. When you think about it, we don’t go to the school of self-love. I mean, maybe later on in life, I’m like hanging for that. I want to create that for my kids. Shule on what's next for her Phi: Well, that’s interesting because I’m like, what’s like, what’s next for you? Like, you obviously have a podcast. Where can people find you. Shule: Yeah. Oh God. So right now I am, I’m doing like a healing and
8 minutes | May 17, 2021
28: Impact of Fear
Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 28: Impact of Fear Fear can play a prominent role in the lives of many. Ironically it makes us do a lot of things yet also stops us from doing a lot of things. Learn more about the impact of fear in your life and what is going on inside your brain. An inspiring take on fear and how it can elevate your growth! What you'll learn from this episode How fear stops you from living life fullyFear paralysis and how it keeps you stuckHow to break the cycle of fearSpiritual meanings of fearHow to overcome fear and it’s not do with your mind or mindsetWhat happens to the brain and body when we experience fearThe fight or flight evolutionary responseAn exercise to demonstrate the power of your mind and brain on fearFear and regretHelpful codes and quotes on fearThe Bible and FearCommon fears a life coach seesAn exclusive: a life coach’s hot tip on fear and growth Key Quotes from this Episode Focus on who you want to be and what you want to achieve not on your fears. Phi Dang Instead of falling to fear, how can you rise in fear? Phi Dang Wake up and realise every day you are dying, so make the most of every moment Phi Dang Featured Resources on the episode Learn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.Phi’s Instagram herePhi has been named one of the Top 10 Life Coaches to Watch Out For in 2021 by New York Weekly Show Transcript [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]: Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang. My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.” My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything. Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose. This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.Ready to grow? Let’s grow! [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro][Episode 28 – Impact of Fear] Impact of Fear Introduction Top 10 Life Coaches To Watch as Named by New York Weekly Hello Beautiful Soul!In the most exciting news, I’ve been named one of the top 10 life coaches to watch out for in 2021 by New York Weekly. So so exciting. Thank you for all the love over on my Instagram my heart and soul are overwhelmed and overjoyed with all the celebrations. It means the world to me.This week I’ve been reflecting on fear which is what today’s episode is all about.Fear supposedly protects you and keeps you alive. Which is does to a degree but really it keeps you from being truly alive.It is keeping you stuck, small and scared. Fear stops you from living life fully Fear keeps you from doing all the things.Falling in love.Breaking up.Starting your own business.Quitting your job.Pursuing your dream career.Being who you really are.Speaking up.Showing your face.Changing your life.It’s keeping you from life! Fear paralyses you and keeps you stuck When fear paralyses you – you aren’t even getting a chance to be successful, to be truly happy because you’re stopping in your tracks before you can even start!It’s very much the quote that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.It’s ironic that fear makes us do a lot of things but it also keeps us from doing a lot of things.Fear is a cycle. How to break the cycle of fear How do you break it?It’s not that you have to push, make or force yourself to not be fearful.To feel scared is natural – fearful – it has the energy of mental stories behind it, conditioning, lack.My approach and what I talk about with my clients is to feel the edges of the fear.How does it feel in your body?Does it weigh heavily?Is it in your stomach?To feel it deeply and allow yourself the natural process of feeling your emotions.To meet that edge and rise above the fear. The meanings of fear spiritually Fear has two meanings.Forget everything and run or face everything and rise.The choice is yours. Use your body to overcome fear not your mind And really when you embody it, you realise that it isn’t thinking or your mind that will help you overcome fear.It’s feeling deeply into your body and taking inspired action accordingly.Do the damn thing that edges you out of your comfort zone.Invest in yourself.Quit the job.Start again.Focus on who you want to be and what you want to achieve not on your fears. The body is so vital to the experience of fear because it’s experienced in our mind but physically felt in our body through a strong reaction or response. What happens to the brain and body when we experience fear The amygdala is a small almond shaped organ in the middle of your brain that is triggered when you experience fear which in turn releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline – the fight or flight response.Your pupils dilate. Your blood pressure increases, your heart starts racing faster and faster.Your body is literally going into evolutionary mode, sharpening its senses which is to brace itself for life – to fight for survival or flee for survival.I’ve mentioned this several times across the podcast that whilst humans have evolved quickly and rapidly the brain hasn’t quite caught up. The fight or flight evolutionary response This fight or flight response happens when you’re not even in physical danger as our ancestors were from hungry animals or raging weather conditions.It could be you being nervous about a big presentation or work. Perhaps it’s running into an ex.Maybe it’s about what your friends think about you.This response is triggered and guess what?The brain cannot distinguish between reality and imagination so when you think of a memory when you were fearful it will and can feel so real in the body. An exercise to demonstrate the power of your mind and brain on fear Try it.Recall a time you were really scared in your life like a movie, see the visuals and feel it in your body. You can literally cause the stress response in the body.That is why my coaching is rooted in energetics and being in the body because the mind can do all sorts of lies and trickery such as fear.As I’ve even posted about on Instagram, your brain is wired for survival not happiness. Fear and regret The thing is yes you can run from fear but often life will repeat itself and put you in situations until move through that fear to learn, grow, evolve and expand. Remember this when it comes to fear, it is temporary.Regret is a strong and powerful emotion – we live one life. What are you going to do in this lifetime.Who are you going to be?Wake up and realise every day you are dying, so make the most of every moment.Don’t lead with fear because that energy is so vastly different to the power of leading with love and intention. Helpful codes and quotes on fear I love quotes, always have and always will. I want to share some codes on fear through quotes to help you evolve and grow to your next level. “Faith and fear both demand you believe in something you cannot see. You choose!” Bob Proctor “Never trust your fears, they don’t know your strength” Anthea Singh “Courage is the resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear” Mark Twain “The fears we don’t face become our limits” Robin Sharma The Bible and Fear It’s interesting too that the Bible, a very ancient text says ‘fear not,’ ‘don’t worry’ and ‘be anxious for nothing’ over 300 times.Fear is a part of the human experience and it is one of our greatest teachers when we let it go, when we move through it.Instead of falling to fear, how can you rise in fear? Common fears a life coach sees Many of my clients experience fears that are not unfounded.It feels so real in their minds.The two most commons ones are fear of showing up and being seen and a fear that they’ll never be in a relationship again.Together we move past this by identifying and bringing perspective to these fears and briefly visiting why these fears exist in their mind. A life coach's hot tip on fear and growth I’ll give you a huge hint as a life coach, if you want to quickly grow – do the things you’re scared of.In your work, you’ll encounter the fears, work up to move past them and grow.Those who face fear head on and move through it, grow in quantum leaps. Episode closing Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang 28: Impact of Fear If your ready to rise above your fears and be your best self, please get in touch. I would love to help you grow beyond your current limits and dive into juicy expansion to know who you are when you meet fears (the answer: unwavering and unshakable)!Until next Tuesday beautiful soul.Love & Positivity, Phi [Episode 28 – Impact of Fear Outro]Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon. Additional reading and resources on fear 5 Things You Never Knew About FearThe Key to Freedom from Fear – Bob ProctorHow To Defeat Fear and Worry – Robin Sharma The post 28: Impact of Fear appeared first on Phi Dang, Clarity Confidence Life Coach Sydney.
11 minutes | May 10, 2021
27: Normalising Boundaries With Family
Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 27: Normalising Boundaries With Family Family and boundaries. Just because they are your family doesn’t mean they are exempt from boundaries. Boundaries exist to help and protect you in addition to strengthening all your relationships especially and including your family. What you'll learn from this episode Why boundaries also apply to your familyHow your boundaries are formed as a childWhat are boundariesHow boundaries are formedThe influence of family on boundaries – your upbringingThe 3 crucial things a life coach wants you to know about boundariesHow we recreate familial situations as an adult particularly in romantic relationshipsPractical family scenarios and their influence on boundariesA practical strategy to understand how your family influenced your boundariesBoundaries and cultural conditioningA life coach’s insight on boundaries Key Quotes from this Episode Boundaries are a beautiful tool - they help you to be true to who you are and be in your full expression in life! Phi Dang Boundaries apply to everybody not just one particular type of relationship. Phi Dang People cannot mind read so you can’t expect people to just know boundaries Phi Dang Featured Resources on the episode Learn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.Episode 11 – Bringing Awareness To Your Inner ChildLearning how to set healthy boundaries with familyThe importance of healthy boundaries in the familyWhy enmeshed families are too close Show Transcript [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]: Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang. My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.” My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything. Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose. This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.Ready to grow? Let’s grow! [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro][Episode 27 – Normalising Boundaries With Family] Normalising Boundaries With Family Introduction Hi beautiful soul!Wherever you are right now and whatever you are doing I hope you are doing well and fully present! I’ve actually started listening to more podcasts when I drive, so if you’re driving full focus on the road whilst absorbing this podcast. In fact a few of you have written to let me know you love listening whilst driving too and re-listening at home when you can fully take in everything and write notes. Welcoming a new 1:1 client! First of all I wanted to do a huge shout and congratulations to my new 1:1 client S wooohooo beautiful soul I’m so excited to be working with you – my first client from London! In our initial consultation chat S was blown with the breakthroughs and realisations she was having about her anxiety and perspective regarding her career and feeling held back from getting a promotion. She’s now stepped into her power and I can’t wait to see what the next few months working with her will lead to! Work with Phi If you’ve been tuning in for a while, finding my posts resonating and feel the pull to work with me – please get in touch – I would love to work with you as I have done with my clients to help you overcome your negative self talk and limiting beliefs so you can start living your best life, your next level of growth and evolution! Why boundaries also apply to your family Today’s episode is inspired and rooted in my latest Instagram post which I did on Sunday to coincide with Mother’s Day. Part of that post was being really firm with boundaries even for and especially for family members like your mum.I want to start the episode with a key insight for you: your family at the end of the day are human just like you. They aren’t on a pedestal, we are all and in one the same. From the same source which you may call God, Universe, Spirit, Source, Infinite Intelligence – whatever resonates best with you. Labels of mum, dad, sibling are what we give to identify the relationship to the person. They are also roles, you are a daughter or son to someone, perhaps even a sibling.Just because they are your family it doesn’t mean boundaries don’t apply to them. Boundaries apply to everybody not just one particular type of relationship. How your boundaries are formed as a child And here comes the journey of navigating and understanding the huge role our families play in the formation and enactment of our boundaries.So many things we believe – how we act, what we believe to be true is formed and learnt from birth and as children. We are always consciously and subconsciously absorbing the world around us like sponges that in turn create our programming and conditioning. This can become tricky when you are so accustomed to a certain way and belief that perhaps you may not even realise the situations around you are unhealthy, in fact you think it is ‘normal’ based on your upbringing and conditioning. How your upbringing and family influence your boundaries Depending on how you were raised – boundaries may or may not be a thing. Simply put, boundaries are what you put in place whether physically, mentally, emotionally, morally, financially and so forth to protect yourself and what behaviour you will allow. As a baseline boundaries are ensuring you are respected. That goes both ways including respecting your own self and being firm and following through with the boundaries you set. Think of them as sliding doors, used when needed. Boundaries are a beautiful tool – they help you to be true to who you are and be in your full expression in life! The importance of clearly explained boundaries Whilst I’m talking about boundaries, from my experience as a life coach I can’t stress how important it is to clearly communicate and define your boundaries. People cannot mind read so you can’t expect people to just know boundaries – if you tell them clearly there cannot be any confusion. How we recreate familial situations as an adult particularly in romantic relationships On the topic of family and our boundaries, it is in fact our family relationships which form the foundation and groundwork for a lot of other relationships we go on to have in our lives particularly romantic relationships. We often recreate familial situations in romantic relationships consciously and unconsciously.A common example that I identify with is fear of being abandoned. Growing up as an only child, having my parents divorced I had developed a fear of being alone and abandoned. I can recall memories of being left alone in the house and freaking out when my parents just popped out to the shops and of course the heart wrenching memories of my parents splitting up. Being so young I didn’t know how this would impact me and later on I realised I would get very easily and anxiously attached to men I dated. It wasn’t til I did the work I was able to move forward and free myself from this limiting narrative and conditioning. The impact of your family and the boundaries you have So back to familial relationships and boundaries here are some ways in which this can unfold in your life. Chaotic upbringing Perhaps if you grew up in a chaotic upbringing, you desire more security and control and so you exert firm boundaries as a means of power and distilled down for your safety. A healthy boundary for this would be discussing any suspicions of a partner cheating instead of harbouring resentment, making assumptions or making a rule to be able to always check and read each other’s messages. No boundaries Perhaps you grew up in a household where there were no boundaries, what we know to be as enmeshed families to differing degrees – you spoke to your parents about everything and in turn they knew everything about your business and you knew everything about theirs. A healthy boundary for this would be giving your parents a general update on your dating life but at the end of the day you will date who you desire. Spending time with your family Perhaps you grew up expected to spend all your time with your family and now you feel very guilty for having your own life and spending time apart from your family. Or maybe it was that if someone felt sad in your family, everyone was expected to feel sad too. Maybe your family played a very active role in your academic or social life – pushing things to be a certain way. All of these things play a role in the formation of your boundaries. A practical strategy to understand how your family influenced your boundaries For a moment put yourself in a time machine to when you were younger and you said “I don’t want to” or “I don’t like…” or “why do I have to do this…?” Really as a child we are made to do a lot of things we may not necessarily want to as we are learning and growing – being made to speak to or see certain people, eat particular foods, extra curricular activities before, at and after school.How did your family react? That can help inform a lot about the conditioning you have when it comes to boundaries. Know that boundaries develop over time, for example the significant shift occurs as you go from a child to an adult particularly on your independence. Maybe your family dynamics change, divorce happens or new partners in the family happen. Boundaries aren't evil or made to hurt anyone Boundaries aren’t an evil tool in place to hurt other people or let them down.Boundaries are the opposite, they protect you and strengthen your relationships. When you can feel safe and at ease with yourself and the world around you, that benefits everyone. Boundaries and cultural conditioning Boundaries particularly feel difficult on particular occasions such as Mother’s Day which has just happened or holiday season such as Christmas. Cultural conditioning comes into play – it’s that feeling of ‘you have to spend time with your family’, ‘you should be nice to your family’ and so forth. So how do you overcome this? By getting curious. By stepping back and being the awareness of observer of the stories. Oh this makes sense because “society as a whole expects you to spend time with your family.” Just because it’s a holiday it doesn’t mean you have to talk to a toxic family member again or even spend time with them if it makes you feel upset and uncomfortable. Go deeper and bring it back to the self – do the inner work. Notice your triggers. See the patterns. If you have difficulty this is where someone like myself, a life coach, can help you, or another profession such as a psychologist. Note: Listening to the episode on bringing awareness to your inner child can help and be a good start! Your boundaries are yours At the end of the day your boundaries exist for you and are created solely by you. Give yourself permission to have boundaries because they are important for your safety and wellbeing. You know yourself best and it’s healthy to do what’s best for you. It’s healthy because in order for you to be your best for those you love, you need to be at your best. Episode closing Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang 27: Normalising Boundaries With Family Understand that it is often difficult and uncomfortable to set boundaries again depending on your programming and conditioning. So be patient, gentle, kind and compassionate with yourself. Know that the rewards of having healthy boundaries are worth the uncomfortable journey of enacting boundaries with our loved ones. At the end of the day if your family love you they would want to respect you in the same way that you would want to as well.Until next Tuesday beautiful souls for another episode of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, love and positivity. [Episode 27 – Normalising Boundaries With Family Outro]Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon. The post 27: Normalising Boundaries With Family appeared first on Phi Dang, Clarity Confidence Life Coach Sydney.
9 minutes | May 3, 2021
26 – Toxic Positivity
Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 26: Toxic Positivity Toxic Positivity masquerades itself as positivity when it is the complete opposite. Learn about what toxic positivity is and how you may be doing it without even knowing! I’ll give you tips on how to avoid being the source of toxic positivity, how toxic positivity can make someone feel and what if you are the negative person. What you'll learn from this episode What is toxic positivityThe human experienceYour brain and toxic positivityToxic Positivity quotesThe signs of toxic positivityWhat happens as a result of toxic positivity?How to avoid being a source of toxic positivity?What if you are the negative person? Key Quotes from this Episode To be human means to feel on the full spectrum all emotions deeply. Phi Dang We aren’t robots programmed to only feel a certain way and only have certain types of thoughts. Phi Dang We have all and will continue to experience negativity in our lives. It doesn’t make you a negative person it makes you a human experiencing negativity. Phi Dang Featured Resources on the episode Learn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.What Is Toxic Positivity?Toxic positivity on social media and how to avoid itWhat is Toxic Positivity – The CutC. JoyBell C. Show Transcript [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]: Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang. My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.” My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything. Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose. This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.Ready to grow? Let’s grow! [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro][Episode 26 – Toxic Positivity] Toxic Positivity Introduction Hello beautiful soul! I am feeling absolute joy and elation after the Manifestation Magic Masterclass, within a few hours those who attended are already receiving signs from the universe – so so exciting. I even got a beautiful message from Carol who said:“I can’t stop thinking about the manifestation magic masterclass today, Phi, it was so good! I can’t explain it. It was like walking into a class that I didn’t want to finish! Thank you for so much love for your insight and for being you, all you. Like omg! I mean the energy just no words!”Ahhh my heart and soul!I’ll be uploading a replay of the class available for purchase this week – so if you’re interested please DM me and I can get that to you even faster.So May is Mental Health Month in many countries which confused me because apparently Australia is October but anyway in honour of that and the fact that mental health day should be every day I want to speak about toxic positivity. What is toxic positivity? Toxic positivity masquerades itself as being positive when really it’s the completely opposite.It’s the belief and attitude that no matter what is happening you should always be happy and have positive thoughts.Hello! We are humans, we are souls having a human experience.To be human means to feel on the full spectrum all emotions deeply.We aren’t robots programmed to only feel a certain way and only have certain types of thoughts. This overly optimistic state denies, minimises and invalidates the human experience. The subconscious mind and toxic positivity In our subconscious minds based on largely social conditioning and our programming that life is black and white.Positive = good. Negative = bad.This is largely too simple and negates the shades of grey between. Toxic positivity quotes I love these quotes which encapsulates everything nicely when it comes to toxic positivity. “I’d rather be whole than good.” Carl Jung “Positive thinking is a coping mechanism, an automatic coping mechanism. It is void of life. Feeling and experiencing the realness of what is actually happening are the essences of being alive. Feeling, connecting, reacting to the flow-- this is all living. Positive thinking happens in the head, meanwhile, it denies the heart its authentic, genuine feelings. Not only does it have the potential to rob you of real and deeper connection which is ultimately necessary to living a passionate and compassionate life; but it even has the potential to cut you off from reality itself. A mask that you put on your face, other people's faces, and throw over everything around you. We do not become positive by refusing to be real. We become positive people by really living, really feeling, and really rising above anything that would threaten to sink us. You can't even see what threatens to sink you if you refuse to acknowledge that it's even there. Why did Titanic sink? Someone refused to see the icebergs.” C. JoyBell. C I've been a source of toxic positivity and you probably have too... It’s ok not to be ok. You are not alone and someone out there is wanting and ready to help you.I’m known as the positivity queen too and I am certainly not happy all the time. Positivity is my attitude – it’s knowing that no matter what happens I can find the silver lining, I can learn and I can grow which is my lens of positivity. I’ve definitely been guilty of saying things like “it could be worse” or “try be positive” and you may have to. Bring awareness to toxic positivity I wasn’t aware it could make someone feel worse.The beauty of awareness is that you have the power to change.You have the power of consciousness! What are the signs of toxic positivity? Using blanket positive statements like “good vibes only here” or “be happy”Not listening and validating someone’s experience and jumping to your experience “you’ll get over it”Shaming someone for not feeling happy or positiveAvoiding your own emotions that you label negative – for you to see negativity in someone else you must recognise it in yourself otherwise how would you know?Hiding how you truly feel about something What happens as a result of toxic positivity? People feel ashamed of their emotions and feel invalidated.When you are overly positivity and pushing positivity on someone else it can seem insincere to the other person.They don’t want to be and show their true selves so they become inauthentic, hiding or creating a persona to the world.This can lead to surprising emotions which leads to increased stress in the body which can sometimes even be stored energetically in the body.Additionally when we aren’t able to feel our feelings it prevents us from growing. It can keep us stuck in hurt, pain and anxiety. Challenging feelings can ultimately lead to greater growth because we learn from them. How to avoid being a source of toxic positivity? Be aware and conscious with your language.For example instead of saying “you’ll get over it” you can say something along the lines of “It sounds like you’re going through a tough time. I believe in you”. Can you feel the difference in the energy there?Substitute “don’t be so negative” to “it’s okay to not be okay sometimes.”“Think happy thoughts” becomes “I love you and I am here for you.”“It could be worse” to “Life has its ups and downs. How can I best support you?”“You shouldn’t feel bad or negative” to “We experience a full spectrum of emotions in life and that’s okay.” The influence of social media on toxic positivity I would also add to this to remember about celebrities, pop culture and social media that is isn’t 110% real. Most of what we see online is someone’s highlights reel which is carefully curated. It’s not reality and ironically reality TV isn’t real either.I’m sure you can relate, I’ve definitely been hurting after a break up and posting photos and stories looking all happy when deep down I was sad.Perhaps you’re going through a hard time and post throwback photos or stalk an ex or someone you used to date when really you are nostalgic for past happier times. What if I’m the negative person? We have all and will continue to experience negativity in our lives. It doesn’t make you a negative person it makes you a human experiencing negativity.If the negativity is overwhelming reach out to your doctor, a mental health expert or even a life coach such as myself. I work with many clients to get them unstuck and out of their negative self talk.My tips are:Allow yourself to be negative because you are human. Bring awareness to your emotions. What is the negativity label about an experience, circumstance or person in your life revealing to you?It’s okay to feel a mix of emotions again we aren’t robots set to one default emotion. You can be happy and sad at the same time. Episode closing Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang 26: Toxic Positivity The goal isn’t to be happy and positive all the time. It’s to be strong and in your power knowing that no matter what happens in life you will be ok and you can handle it!Let’s keep the conversation going on mental health to break the stigma and raise more awareness of how important mental health is.Until next Tuesday, love and positivity. [Episode 26 – Toxic Positivity Outro]Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon. The post 26 – Toxic Positivity appeared first on Phi Dang, Clarity Confidence Life Coach Sydney.
10 minutes | Apr 28, 2021
25: Vulnerability Hangover
Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 25: Vulnerability Hangover Vulnerability. It’s something we are all afraid of. To be fully seen for who we are. So what happens when we muster up all the courage and be vulnerable? In the aftermath and of an exhilarating high comes a vulnerability hangover. Learn more about what a vulnerability hangover is and ways to cope with a vulnerability hangover. What you'll learn from this episode What is a vulnerability hangover?Why you feel so anxious about being vulnerableWays to cope with a vulnerability hangover Key Quotes from this Episode It’s not to say your vulnerability and bravery aren’t seen or important. It’s just that it’s part of the fabric of life. Phi Dang Growth isn't easy but damn it looks good on you! Phi Dang You are strong, you can handle a bunch of sensations. Phi Dang Featured Resources on the episode Learn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.Brené Brown – The Power of VulnerabilityMarianne Williamson: A Return to Love Show Transcript [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]: Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang. My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.” My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything. Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose. This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.Ready to grow? Let’s grow! [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro][Episode 25 – Vulnerability Hangover] Vulnerability Hangover Introduction Hello beautiful soul! Oh my goodness that full moon in Scorpio was intense wasn’t it? I definitely felt it in my soul and bones as a Scorpio and oh boy that moon delivered.This full moon for me was all about being vulnerable and I want to share some beautiful lessons with you. Vulnerability of creation First of all I am feeling vulnerable but super excited about my first live masterclass ever Manifestation Magic happening this Sunday the 2nd of May! We already have 11 beautiful souls inside, if it’s calling you – it’s not too late to join. The link to join is on my website and Instagram bio. Vulnerability of being seen Secondly, the moon was all about illuminating light to the shadows and something damn scary happened to me. One of my biggest fears came true. I have a corporate job too and I was so nervous and worried about my boss and team finding out. My head built a story of they are going to think you are weird, it’s very personal information I share in my world etc.In fact, I didn’t share it out of my own accord – external events happened beyond my control that led to this.When I found out I felt absolutely sick to my stomach in fact I couldn’t sleep. When it was out in the open I realised how it was all a giant mind story. My boss and team were super supportive and loving. I am so happy and appreciative and it taught me a lot about how we create our own suffering by worrying about things and creating stories that are not true. Everything happens for a reason - trust and divine timing Even though I didn’t choose to let it out, I allowed and trusted in the universe and divine timing. I never question, I genuinely always know that everything happens for a reason and the time it is supposed to. Nothing I do can change the force of the universe.Take back your power from fear and anxiety by stepping back.Watching the stories unfold and know that the stories aren’t necessarily true – they are a by product and creation of an over active mind. Who coined the term vulnerability hangover? Now I’m on the other side of this emotional journey feeling what we call a vulnerability hangover. I’m pretty sure the queen and expert of shame and vulnerability Researcher Brené Brown coined the term in her TED talk. What is a vulnerability hangover? A vulnerability hangover occurs when you are opening yourself up to fully being seen. You are all parts courages, brave and strong. The hangover and flip side of all that is feeling scared and worried about being judged and fully seen for who you truly are.This sensation is normal – it can feel unpleasant after the exhilarating high of putting yourself out there after working yourself up to. Why do you get a vulnerability hangover? So why do we fear being vulnerable and get these vulnerability hangovers?This goes back to our ancestors. We are built to survive in tribes. We thrive being connecting and belonging to a group – working together, collaborating. This need to belong is actually primal and raw in nature. Think about your ancestors, if you did not have a tribe, life would be very hard. You would have to fend for yourself, protect yourself, hunt yourself etc.When we put ourselves out there we may feel different, weak and exposed or ashamed of who we really are which in your mind threatens your safety (safety being belonging in a group). Fascinating right? What to do when you have a vulnerability hangover So if you’re nursing a vulnerability hangover what is the best thing to do? Feel your feelings Feel your feelings.Slow down and tune in to how you are feeling in your body.For me, I feel tight in the chest and jaw. I feel like cowering my shoulders inwards as a protection and defence mechanism. I feel my heart race. This is all okay!When you allow yourself to feel your feelings the move through you. I like to think of emotions moving through me as if I am transparent. If I don’t allow them to, the emotions are unable to move and become solidified and stuck in my energy which can be heavy.So be light and transparent. Let your feelings move through you. Get perspective, zoom out of your life Another tip for you is to get perspective. Zoom out of your life. Reverse Narcissism So often we can become a reverse narcissist. So what do I mean by that?Well we think the whole world revolves around us and people are always thinking about us, watching us, judging us which they aren’t… I mean think about your life and being – you are probably too busy thinking about yourself, watching yourself, judging yourself. You don’t have time to do it for others! How to zoom out of your life Zoom out and see this in the light of a bigger picture. It feels like this big massive event like the big bang or something when really, so many events and moments happen every single day in life. It’s not to say your vulnerability and bravery aren’t seen or important. It’s just that it’s part of the fabric of life. When you can zoom out you see that this big event in your life could be a little event in the universe and your network. A vulnerability hangover means growth When you zoom out you see that vulnerability is helping you grow. To expand your world. You become bigger and braver in the world (yay!). So whilst it feels all dramatic like a soap opera, it’s all okay. It’s part of the many twists and turns in life! You don’t grow when you’re comfortable. You grow when you are uncomfortable.Extremely uncomfortable.Be kind and compassionate with yourself, growth isn’t easy but damn it looks good on you! Purpose and vulnerability hangovers When I get a bad case of the vulnerability hangover I think about my purpose.Why I share parts of myself and bring them to light?For me, it’s to help others. To be vulnerable means to be human. We relate with humans not plastic robots. It’s through vulnerability and sharing we connect.The whole reason I started my Instagram and life coaching business was to help others. Even if it was just one person. I always think about that one person who reads my Instagram post, watches an Instagram story or listens to a podcast episode. If what I share helps them and makes them realise they aren’t alone then my job is done! The root of a vulnerability hangover Perhaps you created something and put it out there in the world to help others or uplift others – that is beautiful.Perhaps you shared something you’ve never told anyone and it made you feel better, lighter and freer – that is beautiful.Perhaps you dared to go against the status quo and to speak your truth. That makes you a game changer – that is beautiful.Your vulnerability, magnetism, energy and power are all so beautiful. The purpose of a vulnerability hangover The following quote by Marianne Williamson is on of my favourites that I would love to share with you in light of this: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson God can be swapped out with Spirit, Universe, Source, One Truth – whatever speaks to your heart and soul. Vulnerability Hangover - You are stronger than you think On a final note on getting over a vulnerability hangover – don’t forget how strong you are! That you’ve been through much harder and at the end of the day the vulnerability hangover is a bunch of sensations and feelings. You are strong, you can handle a bunch of sensations. Episode closing Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang 25: Vulnerability Hangover With this all in mind, being vulnerable, open and fully seen I can breathe a sigh of relief. No more hiding, no more anxiety. I’m here on the world stage as me. If I fully embrace and love me, the outside world can’t get to me. Sure I still get the vulnerability hangover but no one can make me feel worse off except me. I stand in my power. Here is to you and your power beautiful soul. Until next Tuesday with another episode, love and positivity. [Episode 25 – Vulnerability Hangover Outro] Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon. The post 25: Vulnerability Hangover appeared first on Phi Dang, Clarity Confidence Life Coach Sydney.
6 minutes | Apr 19, 2021
24: Your Emotional Seasons
Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 24: Your Emotional Seasons Just like the physical weather seasons of Summer, Spring, Autumn and Winter, you too will experience a change in yourself and your emotions. Learn more about your emotional seasons in this episode and allowing the natural flow of life. What you'll learn from this episode Your emotional seasons Key Quotes from this Episode Manifestation isn’t luck, it’s intentional energy and magic. Phi Dang What you resist, will persist. Phi Dang Just like the physical seasons of weather, Summer, Spring, Autumn and Winter so too will you experience that in your life Phi Dang Featured Resources on the episode Learn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.Learn more here about how the physical seasons can impact your mood –Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) Show Transcript [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]: Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang. My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.” My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything. Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose. This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.Ready to grow? Let’s grow! [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro][Episode 24 – Your Emotional Seasons] Your Emotional Seasons Introduction Hi beautiful soul, so happy to be with you right now here in this present moment! It’s been a huge week for me if you’re not following me on Instagram already @thephidang where I shared free nuggets of freedom almost daily, I have officially launched Manifestation Magic. Woohoo there’s been such a big build up and I’m soooo happy to be able to share it with you. Manifestation Magic I have been experiencing such alignment and flow when it comes to manifesting. I’ve manifested my boyfriend, a home by the beach and this year I manifested $10,000 already, discounted gym memberships, hotel upgrades, free food – you name it!I wanted to share the magic of manifestation with you because when it comes to manifestation people just label it as oh you’re lucky or that couldn’t happen for me but this is furthest from the truth. Manifestation isn’t luck, it’s intentional energy and magic. I wanted to debunk manifestation for everyone at a really accessible price point (literally less than one third of what you would pay for a 1 hour intensive coaching session with me!) If you’re interested DM me or check out the link in my Instagram bio to learn more. The class is on the 2nd of May and the price will go up for the replay so get in now if it feels juicy and expansive for you.Click here to join Manifestation Magic! The inspiration for your emotional seasons On to today’s episode which was inspired by the launch journey of Manifestation Magic (which already has 10 beautiful souls inside!). I felt so much Spring and Summer launching, so much energy, flow and buzz. Afterwards we can peter out a bit and come into Autumn very much like Sydney is where it’s slowing down and transitioning. Coming off the pill So they key here is that just like the physical seasons of weather, Summer, Spring, Autumn and Winter so too will you experience that in your life. This also very much came to me as I revealed I am going on a personal journey of coming off the pill because I want to be more inside and in tune with my body. It’s a personal decision, there is no right or wrong either way but I wanted to share this with you because if it helps one person I’ve done my job.When I was looking it up I couldn’t find much with real people no sponsors or anything so I wanted to play my part in the collective. Flowing with life and your emotional seasons So with these seasons it can impact and influence all areas of your life: how you feel, your job and career, relationships, friendships, physical activity, what you eat and so forth.It’s about being open and allowing the energy of the seasons to move through us. To not judge and label ourselves for example if you’re in a Winter season – don’t push yourself too hard and force yourself to hustle and do, do, do. Winter is about rest. About taking stock. Slowing down. Nourishing. These seasons in our life Summer, Winter, Autumn and Spring help to anchor and ground us here in the present moment, the only tru moment. Without each season we can’t fully appreciate and experience life. Imagine living in Summer all year long, that would be quite frankly tiring and boring – one hint of Winter and you’ll be shook! Allowing the seasons of your emotions All seasons and the feelings and emotions you will experience are all valid in their own right. No one feeling or experience is more worthy or ‘good’ as the other. Let them move through you because truly what you resist will persist. What you resist will persist. Life is about flow and allowing the change of seasons. Imagine you physically tried to stop Autumn and all the leavings falling? The cooler weather?Impossible no matter how much you tried, so why do the same to your emotions? Physical seasons and their impact on your emotions It’s also keeping in mind how the physical seasons can influence your mood. It’s much easier to be joyful in the sunshine vs experiencing consistent cool and cold weather when there is less daylight. It’s a proven thing, check out seasonal depression – it truly happens! Physical seasons and their natural changes With the seasons we also acknowledge just because its Summer it doesn’t mean it won’t rain and just because it’s Winter doesn’t mean there will be the occasional hot day just like your emotions! Open and fluid. Open and fluid. Are you open to this moment here right now? Episode closing Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang 24: Your emotional seasons Enjoy the changing seasons, embrace them. This is life, the flow, the fall, the transition, the changes… soak up each and every moment with wonder and bliss beautiful soul.I hope you have a wonderful day, until next Tuesday – love and positivity. The post 24: Your Emotional Seasons appeared first on Phi Dang, Clarity Confidence Life Coach Sydney.
6 minutes | Apr 12, 2021
23: Aries Energy, New Beginnings
Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 23: Aries Energy, New Beginnings This podcast episode is all about helping you tap into the new moon energy of April 2021 which is in Aries. Aries is first in the zodiac and a fire sign which signals the perfect time for new beginnings, initiation and awakening. What you'll learn from this episode What the new moon in Aries in April 2021 meansHow you can use the energy of the new moon in Aries in April 2021Free journal prompts for the Aries New Moon in April 2021 Key Quotes from this Episode Aries is ruled by Mars bringing an explosive energy of passion, fuel, fire and bravery. Phi Dang Can you bring more clarity and focus into your life? What do you truly want, not what you think you should want or have. What do YOU want? Phi Dang How can you be more bold in your life? Phi Dang Featured Resources on the episode Learn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.Read about Phi’s journey and story here. Show Transcript [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]: Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang. My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.” My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything. Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose. This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.Ready to grow? Let’s grow! [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro][Episode 23 – Aries Energy, New Beginnings: Begins] Aries Energy, New Beginnings Introduction Aries is the first sign of the zodiac. Given it kicks off the zodiac the energy of this time and moment is fresh starts, new beginnings, renewal, awakening initiation, it is so powerful. Aries is ruled by Mars bringing an explosive energy of passion, fuel, fire and bravery. That hot blood is coursing and pumping to your veins beautiful soul! My life and Aries New Moon energy Speaking of how Aries has come into my life it’s all about awakening for me. If you follow me on Instagram you would know the past full moon was very heavy and draining for me so I retreated. I took a week off my business and posting regularly on Instagram. It was so needed. Coming soon: A live manifestation masterclass Here I am for the new moon and will be launching in the next few days a live manifestation class which I am SO excited about. 9 of you beautiful souls are already in and I appreciate each and every single one of you.This masterclass is going to be so juicy and incredible. It’s all about starting! Start manifesting. Start magnetising all you desire. If you can’t wait until I launch it DM me because I’ll put you on the waitlist for when I launch likely this Thursday or Friday.I’m so excited because it’s the first time I’m adding a new service to my business enabling me to work with more of you beautiful souls at an accessible investment point. As you know I already offer so much free juicy gems here on the podcast and on my Instagram. I wanted something for a step up for those ready to invest in themselves and get into my world.For my beautiful 1:1 clients they automatically get access to what I work on and that’s for you if you’re truly ready to stop playing small. To get unstuck and show yourself, the universe that you are ready to step into your highest power of expansion. To be joyful, happy, at peace, strong and confident. Speaking of which, April and Aries season is a great time to start 1:1 coaching with this momentum of fire and zest so if you’re interested please get in touch! Aries New Moon: New Beginnings Coming back to Aries season, it is one of the best times to plant seeds for whatever you desire. To start. To begin. It’s about making things happening.Aries encourages us to be fully in the present moment. To give ourselves to it, to us, to life itself. To trust ourselves – the intuition and feelings that arise in our body. To trust our impulses and desires. To come back home to ourselves – our pure, raw, unedited self. In true Aries form, grab life by the horns and get in and amongst life. Have that fire in your belly. That spicy zest for life. Aries is a fire sign! Aries New Moon: Inspired Action For those who have been feeling stuck again this energy is here to help you get stuck. To take inspired action. Inspired action is something I will discuss more indepth in my live manifestation class but essentially the energy of where you are coming from truly counts when it comes to taking action. A place of inspiration and happiness vs the icky should and must… What to watch out for in the Aries New Moon So what further to note about this energy? Well Aries is fiery so watch out for any impulses, tune in and see if it’s truly what you want. The fire can also involve our ego so watch out for your mind.A part of this energy is the truth and confrontation right which makes sense Aries is a Ram. Are you being honest with yourself and others?Are you truly going after what you want?Are you growing as a person and working on yourself?It’s a beautiful time to gain more clarity and understanding of yourself. Free journal prompts Aries New Moon April 2021 I wanted to bring this episode to a close with some practical ways to utilise this fiery energy. Here are some questions for you to think about or even journal about if you so wish.What are you hoping to start or begin?What are your passions? How do you tap into them? How do you bring them into your every day life?What do you want to start?What do you want to work on personally for yourself?Where can you start making your dreams come true?Can you bring more clarity and focus into your life? What do you truly want, not what you think you should want or have. What do YOU want?How can you be more bold in your life?What can you spark to life? Episode closing Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang 23: Aries Energy, New Beginnings The next new moon will be in the sign of Taurus. Signing off today’s episode! I’ll speak to you next Tuesday beautiful soul. Until then, love and positivity. The post 23: Aries Energy, New Beginnings appeared first on Phi Dang, Clarity Confidence Life Coach Sydney.
5 minutes | Apr 5, 2021
Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 22: Possibility This is a short, sweet, punchy episode on all about possibility. It’s inspiring, it’s motivating, it is uplifting. There is SO much possibility in your life. Be open to all the ways every single possibility can be unlocked, opened and received in your life. What you'll learn from this episode The power and magic of possibilityWhat your mind does to possibility and how it keeps you small, scared and stuckYour life, the universe is like a candy store!! So funBreaking free from the stuck energetics of your mind Key Quotes from this Episode There is infinite possibility in this world, in this universe yet our mind likes to keep us stuck, scared and small. Phi Dang Your mind is designed to help you survive, not to be happy. Phi Dang You are made of the freaking stars, of everything in this universe. Phi Dang Featured Resources on the episode Learn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.Read about Phi’s journey and story here. Show Transcript [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]: Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang. My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.” My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything. Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose. This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.Ready to grow? Let’s grow! [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro][Episode 22 – Possibility: Begins] Possibility Introduction Hello beautiful souls!I hope you had a wonderful Easter break – goodness I am so tired but I had the best weekend.The sun was shining. I got to see and catch up with a lot of friends, soak in the sunshine, ocean swims, fairy floss sunsets it was so beautiful.Unexpectedly I had a visit from a friend Lisa who I met in my coaches current program Art of Alignment and oh my goodness it was a pleasure to meet Lisa in person and she’s really inspired this podcast episode which is all about possibility. Your mind and possibility Juicy juicy possibility!!!I love possibility.There is infinite possibility in this world, in this universe yet our mind likes to keep us stuck, scared and small.Your mind is designed to help you survive, not to be happy.Yes, mind freaking blown.Your mind is designed to help you survive, not to be happy.I’ll let that sink in.Your mind wants to protect you so that you don’t take risks but it keeps you small. Small, scared and stuck Where are you currently feeling stuck, small and scared in your life?Where can you let in space, for expansion, for growth?This lifetime is like being a kid in the candy store.So many different possibilities. Flavours, types, colours.Where do you have blinders on in your life that you cant see all the possibilities.Can you ask yourself where you can let in more? To awaken to more options, ways of doing things. Moving with the universe and possibility The universe is always supporting you and expanding you.Knowing this, how do you move in the world? How do you feel? How do you act?I get so excited thinking about possibilities and my life. My clients and their possibility!Like oooooh what if this happens or ooooh it didn’t happen but maybe life has something even better in stall for me, for my clients.Something more juicy. More expansive. More fun.So really I’m telling you, the world is your oyster. The world is your oyster The world is always giving you signals, invitations.The thing is are you open?Are you open to receiving the signs, the invitations, the manifestations? Upcoming manifestation masterclass Speaking of, I am in the flow and working on my new juicy manifestation masterclass in the background which I will be launching at the end of next week. Super exciting.If you’re interested I will have early bird pricing which will mean it is at it’s most accessible right now until I launch it wooo wooooo! If you’re interested get in touch my loves and I’ll send you the link. Possibility Inspiration A short and sweet episode today.Let it marinade.Bask in all your possibilities.Stop playing small and break your big game.Show yourself and the universe what you’re made of, what you’re capable of you beautiful soul.You are made of the freaking stars, of everything in this universe.You’re the ocean, stars, blood all in one.You are magic.You have so much potential and possibility.The world can’t wait to see and I can’t wait to see too… Episode closing Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang 22: Possibility Until next Tuesday beautiful soul, love and possibility. Haha how funny it just came out like that! Love and positivity. The post 22: Possibility appeared first on Phi Dang, Clarity Confidence Life Coach Sydney.
10 minutes | Mar 29, 2021
21: My First Float Tank Experience
Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 21: My First Float Tank Experience I experienced a float tank for the first time at Bondi Junction Massage and Float Centre thanks to a gift from a 1:1 client J. Learn all about my experience as a first timer! What it was like being a float tank. How did it feel to be in a float tank. What happened in a float tank. What I learnt in a float tank. What you'll learn from this episode What is a float tank and what are the benefits?What it feels like to be in a float tankMy first reaction to being in a float tankWhat happens in a float tankMy key learnings and insights from my experience in a float tank Key Quotes from this Episode We are meant to be balanced energetically. Like the Goldilocks tale, not too hot, not too cold… just right. Phi Dang This float made me realise yeah I am just a soul and I get it I’m not my body or mind, I am this soul, this energy and presence behind it all but damn I love that my soul has this opportunity to be here on earth having a human experience. Phi Dang In the ocean I feel electricity, magic, the life beneath me... Phi Dang Featured Resources on the episode Learn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.Follow Phi on Instagram here.Kathrin Zenkina – Manifestation Babe The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 21: My First Float Tank Experience You are listening to Episode 21 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: My First Float Tank Experience.[Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]: Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.Ready to grow? Let’s grow![Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro][Episode 21 – My First Float Tank Experience] My First Float Tank Experience Introduction Hello beautiful souls, Happy Tuesday! I’m actually recording this on a Monday and I have to say I feel so much lighter. The last week has been heavy and I really felt the presence of that big full moon. From talking some of you and my clients we are all on the same page, oh boy that moon was heavy. Resting and Productivity Guilt I’m coming out on the other side lighter, feeling more free, shifting energies. It was the first time since I started my business I took a week off posting. I felt myself judging myself. How can you take time off your business, you don’t have staff right now so if you do, who is doing the business? If you’re not posting on Instagram how will you meet new clients? You should be channeling your manifestation class you said you were going to do. Working with me - package investments I also recently changed my packages, I upped the investments so if you’re interested in working with me my minimum package is 3 months for $3,000 and that felt so right. Having less clients which means I have more energy and space for the clients I do have. Being able to fully support them in between sessions and giving them my energy in our calls. Judging myself Despite this realisation and all of that – Yep, I felt really heavy on the self judgement. Feeling ashamed because I felt like leaning back, being in flow with my feminine energy. Stepping back it made me realise how much I’ve been operating in my masculine: hustle, hustle, hustle, plan, plan, plan, organise, organise, organise, control, control, control. It is so tiring. We are meant to be balanced energetically. Like the Goldilocks tale, not too hot, not too cold… just right. Not too masculine hustle control, not too much feminine flow, just right. Each person’s right will be different for them. Walking the walk, talking the talk It made me take a step back and reveal the path that I don’t just talk the talk, I need to walk the walk. I am a huge advocate with my clients and community on how important it is to rest because resting is being productive. Allowing yourself to disconnect, to retreat, to recharge. It’s so important especially as I learn more about human design. I’m a manifesting generator so energetically I’m truly built for what lights me up, that gives me soooo much energy like coaching clients and sometimes it means I notice what dims my light and burns me out which is posting on Instagram every single day whilst balancing a full time job too. It’s way too much! Stepping outside of my business I realised, in my full time corporate role I don’t just work, work, work, I also take breaks – so why wouldn’t I do the same for my own business? Human Design Readings by Phi Dang Speaking of human design I’ve started doing a few readings for my 1:1 clients and community and the reception has been amazing. I’m hearing things like that is so me, scarily accurate and it’s so exciting. I’m not openly offering readings yet but you heard it here, if you’re interested DM me and let’s work something out together! Personal life update Human design aside, I’m so excited as I have a few interstate trips coming up and I can’t wait to rest, play and nourish even more. Doing the script for this podcast, I just had an ocean swim, did some grounding walking barefoot on the grass and here I am in the sun in my bikini typing away. Pure bliss and joy! Being in the ocean gives me pure joy and this quote perfectly embodies how I feel: "You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the ocean in an entire drop” Rumi What is a float tank experience? So this finally leads me into sharing my first experience with a float tank, also known as a sensory deprivation tank. Thank you to my beautiful client J, for gifting me with this rare, one of a kind gift.Essentially you get in a self enclosed pod where there is no light and you are completely naked floating in water with a tonne of epsom salt. The epsom salt creates such salinity in the water you effortlessly float, no effort required. You’re in the pod for an hour and it’s silent. What are the benefits of a float tank experience? It supposedly helps reduce anxiety and stress, create calmness and prompt creative downloads. Some people even have out of body experiences and hallucinate! Go in with an open mind and no expectations is my advice. Be open! Experience it for yourself. My first initial reaction to the float tank experience: panic So picture this. No visual stimulation. No audio stimulation. No sensory stimulation. It’s just you.So I’m still processing it all but wanted to share what came up with you so far.At first I absolutely panicked. I should share with you I used to be claustrophobic and I still don’t enjoy small spaces. The thing is it’s not super tight like you have enough space to put your hand up and still not touch the top of the pod. What got me was my mind.At first I felt myself hearing the stories oh my goodness what are you doing, you’re going to be trapped what if you can’t breathe and die. Lol yeah my mind went there. As a result I was flailing about, I ingested the water which tasted disgusting and I got this super salty water in my eye it stung (but not as much as that freak accident I had at home where I squired hand sanitiser into my eye now that was OUCH). Float tank experience: Mind stories So really my mind and it stories made me panic. As I noticed that it dissipated into peace and calm. Then it would come up in a different way particularly the air. Maybe it was the place I was in but there was no fresh air just my air circulating in this pod and it felt heavy. I found it really hard. I felt so trapped and identified with my mind. Then I would have moments where I completely melted and became one with the soft, silky water. Where is my hand. Where is my foot. Oh I just am. Float tank experience: Journey from the mind to the body I’ve been on this journey of really getting back into my body after being so identified with my mind and masculine energy for so long. This float made me realise yeah I am just a soul and I get it I’m not my body or mind, I am this soul, this energy and presence behind it all but damn I love that my soul has this opportunity to be here on earth having a human experience. I get to truly feel so much. I craved the wild ocean. In a float tank it felt sterile, forced and it was pure quiet. In the ocean I feel electricity, magic, the life beneath me and contained in the water – the water itself, small fish, seaweed, micro-plankton who knows what else is in there. The subtle white noise when I float on my back. Feeling myself rock back and forth as I lie on top of the waves of the ocean. Float tank experience: I feel so alive! I was like I AM SO LUCKY TO BE ALIVE AND HERE. Thank you thank you. Of course the universe sends me a message when I saw on a post by a beautiful soul I look up to Kathrin Zenkina who you may know as manifestation babe and she spoke about how crazy it is that all of us our souls if you believe in that chose to be here in 2020 and 2021 when there has never been such a heavy energy. We are here to be the light. It be resilient. To love one another through these crazy times of a global pandemic, floods, bushfires, racial tensions, horrible mass murders. How bad ass are we? Love. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Kathrin Zenkina (She/Her) (@manifestationbabe) Would I do a float tank experience again? As for float tanks, I’m sure I will be back no doubt and have a completely new experience for that I can’t wait. What's coming up in the world of life coaching? As for what is coming up I am out of hibernation and will be working on a manifestation masterclass which is an accessible access point to working with me, I’ll be releasing early bird, pre sale pricing before landing on it’s final price which I am vibing at $111 currently. Who knows it might change. This is the most accessible I have been for a while so if you’re interested please DM so I can put you not the waitlist with other beautiful souls. I can’t wait for us to all be inside this juicy masterclass to do with all things manifestation basics and making manifestation work for you. My 1:1 coaching availability As mentioned my investments for coaching continue to rise base on demand and I am only one soul. I only take 1:1 clients who I believe I can help and give my energy and space to. If you’ve been thinking about it or on the fence and feeling called, now is the right time to get in as I will increase the investment again but who knows when. DM me, and let’s see if we are a match! The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 21: My First Float Tank Experience Close Have a lovely week beautiful soul, speak to you next Tuesday. Love and Positivity. [Episode 21 – My First Float Tank Experience Outro]Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon. The post 21: My First Float Tank Experience appeared first on Phi Dang, Clarity Confidence Life Coach Sydney.
41 minutes | Mar 22, 2021
20: TJ Shana
Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 20: TJ Shana The first guest ever on the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, is TJ Shana. TJ is a personal growth champion. He is all about inspiration and motivation to help you take the first step towards being your best self. What you'll learn from this episode How TJ Shana manifested this collaboration opportunity with me! TJ Shana on what has made him grow through life – loss and death particularly an insight into Zimbabwean culture and sayings.TJ Shana on his mission to help people take the first step to being their best selvesTJ Shana on experiencing depressionTJ Shana on grief and his journey with griefTJ Shana on feeling your emotions and men’s mental healthTJ Shana on how to best support someone going through a tough timeTJ Shana on manifestation, law of attraction, spirituality and energy TJ Shana on how he came from Zimbabwe to AustraliaTJ Shana on staying connected to his family overseasTJ Shana on what COVID-19 has taught himTJ Shana’s favourite booksTJ Shana’s thoughts on motivationTJ Shana on self love for males and how he gives himself loveTJ Shana shares the best advice he was given Key Quotes from this Episode Energy knows no bounds TJ Shana One of the things that drives me is the fact that I am going to die. TJ Shana Your emotional life is like a house. TJ Shana Featured Resources on the episode You can find TJ here on his instagram: Tjshanaofficial TJ’s instagram Reroute – Inspiration | Motivation | Good NewsPlease note the book recommendations below are our recommendations truly with an affiliate link, you pay a normal price and we get a small payment by freely recommending <3 Phi’s book recommendation on trauma in the body: The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain and Body in the Transformation of TraumaRich Dad Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not!Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the OddsAtomic Habits: the life-changing million-copy #1 bestsellerLearn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.Follow Phi on Instagram here. The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 20: TJ Shana Please note the following transcript was automatically generated.[Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]: Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.Ready to grow? Let’s grow![Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro][Episode 20 – TJ Shana Begins] An introduction to TJ Shana Phi: Hi, beautiful souls. It’s so good to see you again. Well I mean hear you again. Or you can hear me. Today, as I mentioned on the last episode of the growth or podcast, I have a very special guest with me. His name is TJ. He’s the first guest ever on this podcast. I have been dying for him to come on. He is so awesome.We actually crossed paths on Instagram. When I saw his posts, they really resonated with me. He is such a beautiful human with such a beautiful soul. I can’t wait for you guys to get to know him and I’m still getting to know him. I think he’s awesome. So I’m going to bring him on, so please everybody welcome TJ.He is known for helping you take your first step in the path to self-growth. He’s a personal growth champion, TJ, thank you so much for coming on the podcast. TJ: Hey, how you doing? Thank you for having me. Thank you so much for having me. TJ Shana on manifesting this collaboration opportunity Phi: I’m happy to, we had such a good Instagram live and TJ shared this really funny story because I’ve been talking about manifesting and I wanted to hear it from TJ. Could you please share that story about how you came across me and working with me. Cause I think it’s just such a cute and funny story. TJ: Here’s the thing it’s weird, right? Like the world, the world works in weird ways. Um, the first ever time that I saw, um, any of your posts, I don’t even remember what the post was, to be honest.I remember how it felt and that’s that, you know, you know how we hear a lot of people say, people don’t care as much how, what you do as opposed to how you make them feel. That was me in that moment. I remember how I felt and I remember thinking to myself, I’m like, you know what, she’s going to be my friend, number one, number two, I’m going to collaborate with her.And, you know, I’m, you know, I’m just going to feed as much, um, feed from her energy as much as possible because, you know, I, I really, really did feel your energy and. This was, this is way before, you know, we started talking and it just, it just happened very organically. And I’m very, very thankful. I think that’s one of the reasons why I’m always so excited.Um, not only about your posts and listening to your podcasts, but I was also very excited about being here because this is literally, you know,Phi: Here it is, it is a testament to you. Thank you so much for your kind words. It’s so true. I agree with you. You never can remember things, but you’re always remember how you feel. And I think the great thing is when I see your posts, I get very inspired to create my own content. I feed off your energy and it makes sense. Phi Dang x TJ Shana Instagram Live on Self Love View this post on Instagram A post shared by TJ Shana (@tjshanaofficial) TJ Shana on what has made him grow through life - loss and death Phi: We’re such energetic beings. So I would love for you to share with everyone, on the podcast: a bit more about yourself and, as you know, the name of the podcast is the Growth Through It Podcast. perhaps some experiences that have really happened in your life that have made you grow and become who you are today right now.TJ: Okay. Um, I think the biggest thing that had a huge impact on my life was firstly, the, the debt, the, you know, the passing on of my dad, that’s when it was involved. Six years old and you know, being kids, you don’t understand it. You don’t understand what’s going on. And in my culture, Um, I grew up in Zimbabwe and our culture.We don’t show a lot of emotions, particularly men, ladies it’s okay for them. But for us men, we are told to be strong. We are told to suck it up and just move on with life. And so this, this is, you know, this is what happened in the, I just had to internalize it. Be strong for, um, for my mom and my younger brother, cause my mom wasn’t dealing with it very well.So I had to, as a kid, try to, you know, be a comfort and, you know, be there for my younger brother as well, who did not understand what was going on. So that had a very big, big impact in shaping how, um, how I function, how I interact with the people it’s. Uh, you know, affected how I see life as well. And, you know, the second biggest thing that affected my life was my mom two years ago.And so now you see that, you know, dealt with grief from two very different angles, one as a kid and one as an adult and as a very two very different things. And. You know, I felt a lot of guilt about that because when my mom passed away, I hadn’t seen it in close to like 10 years. And there’s lots of stuff that we hadn’t resolved.We were meaning to resolve it when I was going to fly over to South Africa and see her. But she passed on before I had the opportunity to get there. So there is so much that was just placed on me. Yeah. And I was like, Oh, you know, oldest pain, all this, um, grief. And I didn’t know what to do with it. And so that’s one of the reasons why I, um, you know, started the, you know, the Instagram page because I was using it as an outlet because one of the things I believe sometimes in order to receive, you need to give. TJ Shana on what has made him grow through life - having experienced depression TJ: I’m hoping other people and, you know, you know, as a result, it comes back to me, you know, sewing and reaping. So that’s one of the biggest reasons why I started the page. Another reason why I started the page is, you know, I I’ve experienced depression in my life as well, about six years ago. And you know, I got out of that then God, but someone else does it have, um, the.The restraints who go through what they’re going through and they just need someone to help them out. And that’s the reason why I am such a big believer in helping people take the first step, because the first step for a lot of people is the most important step. It’s it’s make or break. Some people fail to take the first step and then it leads to very, very bad situation.So for me, I’m all about the first step and then point people in the right direction. Like, Hey, you know, uh, Is content from this creator or this book, or, you know, I believe in pointing people in the right direction. I’m just a signpost. So that’s my question. I love that TJ sign price is so important because people are looking for that. TJ Shana on what has made him grow through life - grief Phi: And I love that you turned your experiences to help others. I think that’s such an amazing thing that you do and give people that first step, because it is the hardest. So if anyone’s listening. The first step is always the hardest, but it’s so rewarding and there’s people out there that can help you.And I think one thing that really connects us together is experiencing grief, right? We, I mean, you’ve lost both. I’ve lost my dad and you’re actually wow. You know, having that experience as a kid and as an adult, I would love for you. Um, if you feel comfortable to kind of share maybe like two things that you really learned from your experiences with grief.TJ: I think that the first thing is it’s important to feel what you need to feel. Right? Grief, grief is different for different people. Um, that we have a saying in and back home where, where we say, um, and I’m translating it roughly hope it translates properly into English, but we say, uh, grief has no.Practice match. You cannot practice a quiz before you actually got through. And it’s one of those things it’s going to be, you know, it’s going to be very different for everyone. Some people are going to experience anger. Some people are gonna experience guilt. Some people are going to experience intense sorrow, but that being said, when you allow yourself to feel that also remind yourself that it’s also important to.To grow through it as the name of the podcast is, you know, I’m a very big believer in that because I have seen, um, I have seeing the effects of not breathing properly, um, to my mom. My mom was a great month, phenomenal woman, you know, she’s a very strong woman, but one of the things that really affected my younger brother and I was, she.Her grief, uh, stopped her from being able to. Be in the moment with us as her children, you know, and, you know, I, I believe maybe just because, you know, she didn’t have, you know, as a mini, as much of a support system or she didn’t have, you know, some of the right tools, but there are people out there that can help.If you are going through grief, be willing to accept, help from other people. It’s not your journey alone to go through you. Um, it’s, it’s a shared experience so that those are some of the things that I’ve learned through the grief. Yeah, thank you so much. I really felt the emotion and the loving saying and what you were saying.Phi: And I think that, yes, you’re not alone, like even us, right? Like we have a shared experience and I’m showing you went through is I felt like I was alone. I’m like, no one knows what it feels like, but they do. And they’ll always be connection points with people, whether that’s grief or something else, like soccer or food or something, there’s always something to connect us. TJ Shana on feeling your emotions, men's mental health Phi: And I kind of want to. Pull some pieces of what you said together, especially when it comes to feel your emotions. I agree with you. You have to feel them. And I wanted to get your perspective as a man, because I know, you know, I’m very passionate about men’s mental health as well. And I’d love to hear your perspective on men’s mental health and what you kind of have to say around the topic.TJ: Men’s mental health, um, men as men, we’re very simple creatures and yet very complex as well. Uh, in the sense that, because we are. Society has trained us to internalize everything and I’m still on this journey. So I’m, I wouldn’t say I’m an expert. I am, I’m also learning. Um, but one of the things that I’ve noticed is that as men, we need to be more willing to open up, you know, um, what we, the things that we deem as weakness, aren’t really weakness.Sometimes it’s okay to cry sometimes it’s okay to feel. A type of way, you know, and a lot of, a lot of us men are dealing with stuff and, you know, we don’t speak out and it results in so much, um, so much, uh, Pain. I don’t know, not only in pain, but we acted out, we use the oldies, bring these mechanisms that aren’t that healthy.You know, you find, um, some guys ended up, you know, uh, indulging in too much alcohol or promiscuity and all of that things because we are trying to find a way to heal and we just don’t know how to, you know, how to do it. So I think that, you know, as men need to learn to open up and as a society, we need to get to a point where we allow men to say their stories, you know, and remove that stigma that comes with, um, allowing yourself to be vulnerable. TJ Shana on how to best support someone going through a tough time Phi: I agree with you. I think it’s really important to fight the stigma for men, for everyone really, but in particular men with all the alarming suicide rates out there, and I wanted to get your perspective, you know, how do you best support someone, whether it’s a man or a woman or somebody, you know, that you feel like they’re going through a tough time?What advice would you give them? TJ: I think the first thing before we even get to the advice is. Making them feel heard. That’s one of the biggest, um, challenges that for us, men that we experience is that when we, because it takes a lot to get to the point where you actually say what’s on your heart, but.Feeling heard, feeling heard. It’s going to make the difference between between going forward with being vulnerable or closing that cup because closing that cup is more comfortable for most guys. Right. So I think feeling heard is the most important part. So for me personally, when I am, when I’m speaking to someone, I think the first thing that I’ll do is, you know, Make them know that this is a safe environment and my energy has to match that and say, you know what?We are here to help each other. It’s a journey. It’s okay for you to go through what you’re going through, um, and actually wants to be better and feel, you know, so I think that’s the first thing. And then the second thing is that, um, I think it’s important to, to let it all out. You know, um, identify, I, I spoke, uh, when you’re alive, just now I, we talked about, um, we talked about a house, how your life would be emotional life is like a house where you’ve got all these closed rooms and sometimes you can’t open these rooms.You don’t seem to have the keys to these rooms. A lot of the times what happens is that we live in these houses, these emotional houses that. Uh, dirty and be crying over that spilt milk. We cry over that trauma, but we’re not taking the initiative to clean up that mess, you know? And I think the thing about it is when you open up and when you let it all out, you start, you’re going through the process of cleaning out that whole mess.And I think it’s important to, you know, just. You know, allow yourself to let it all out. Even the things that you think are uncomfortable, even things that you feel are, um, uh, embarrassing or shameful, it’s important to let it all out. And then the healing can start from there, you know? Yeah, I love that you brought that up.Phi: I was actually going to ask you to share that analogy cause we really bounced off that in the Instagram live and it was kind of like what the book I was telling you about how trauma is stored in your body and running on your analogy about the house. Like yes. Maybe you didn’t cause the room to be closed because most often it’s like programming or based on your upbringing, but you always have the monster cage.It’s up to you, whether you want to open the door, you know, tidy it up or whatever, you have so much more power than you think. And I thought it was really interesting that you mentioned that you kind of want it to be an energy match when you are listening to somebody to make sure that they are heard. TJ Shana on manifestation, law of attraction and energy Phi: And I’d love to, um, get your take on it because I’m quite a spiritual being. I think people say I’m in the “woo”, cause I really love energy and it’s one of those things people can’t explain sometimes. So I would love to know your perspective on energy and things like that. You know, like whether it’s manifestation law of attraction, feeling other people’s energies, what’s your tech TJ.TJ: Okay. Um, I’m also a very spiritual person. Um, And the, one of the things I believe about energy, energy knows no bounds. I was thinking about this. Um, I think last week when we discussed, you know, coming on the podcast, I was thinking about how I was just reflecting on how. I thought about this. I was like, you know what, I’m going to be on live with fi and we’re going to have a good time.We’re going to vibe. This is before we actually, you know, we actually discussed that. And the reason why I was thinking about it was like, Oh, okay, I will any of these in Sydney and underplay thousands of miles away, but we. Because the energies are aligned, it’s we connect for some reason, you know? Um, I’m, I’m by no means I’m not an expert on AGS or anything like that, but I do believe that, um, we have the ability to lift up the vibrations in our own lives or within our own surroundings and will affect.You know, not only, um, the people around us that can affect someone else that you connected connected from, you know, another part of the world. I also do believe in the law of attraction, uh, scripture calls it the law of faith. You know, I believe it’s just the same thing. Um, because at the end of the day, We have the ability to speak certain things.They become. Uh, I was reading a book. Uh, I forget who it is. I’ll tell you. But later on, if I remember, and, um, at the end of the day, because the world is made out of. Vibration and energy. Right? And so when we speak, we are letting out energy. We are, we are creators, we’ve got the ability to create from our mounts.And that’s one thing that I’m a very big believer in our speak, certain things. And some, some things have taken years and years and years to manifest, and some things have taken weeks, but at the same time, I believe that it’s all built up, but then that being said, there has to be action that goes along with it, because you can’t say I embody this energy, but the way that you act is really different. TJ Shana on how he came from Zimbabwe to Australia Phi: So yeah. That’s how it is. Just how I see it. Yeah, I definitely agree with you there. Like that’s what we say is inspired action. You can’t just like wish in a way you kind of have to also compel yourself to do things. And I love what you said about energy having no bounds and, you know, cause you’re in Perth, I’m in Sydney, we’re on the same continent.And I mean, I would love for you to share how you came from Zimbabwe and ended up in Perth, Australia?TJ: Well, the way I came to it’s weird because that was that’s another. Whole situation with manifesting because what happened was after my dad passed away, one of the one, one, one month, the people that took a father role is my dad’s younger brother.And I lived with him for, you know, throughout high school and whatnot. And, you know, he was working in Zimbabwe. Uh, you know, if you are, if you do know about some, about where the economy tax, uh, in the early two thousands, and he was looking for a job. And I remember speaking to him and I was like, Hey, why not try Australia?And it’s like, nah, he wasn’t, he wasn’t too keen on that. And. I remember because she didn’t like, I think we went for like two years back and forth about that. And I was like, yeah, why not? Because for some reason in my heart, I felt that, you know, Australia was going to be home at some point because I envisioned it.I don’t know how, yeah. It just, it just happened unconsciously. And one day he just found a job. It just all happened. And then I came over with him and the rest is history, you know? So that’s, that’s how I wound up here. Phi: That’s amazing. And I think like something from me, cause I was born in Australia, but I have a Vietnamese Chinese background.So I was thinking about like, how do you, how does culture like from Zimbabwe kind of play into your life, do you feel very connected to back home? Do you feel like you’re more Australian? I just always get so curious about other people that have different heritages and ways of life and where they’ve lived.I find it so fascinating. TJ: I think it’s weird because one of the ways, how I see I’m more. Uh, I, I do definitely see, uh, Australia and particularly at home. I absolutely love the city. I love the fact that I love where I live because it’s so for the beaches are gorgeous and whatnot, but more so, I think. It’s more about family than everything else.I think cause my, one of my biggest values is family and I’ve managed to create a lot of relationships, both here in Australia and back home living. The only person who is in Zimbabwe at the moment is my younger brother, everyone else’s in other parts of the world. Um, but in terms of where I feel rooted because I, because I also do believe in energy, I think that.If I’m to move into, go to any part of the world, I think I’d be fine because I somehow feel connected with the people I’m connected to too, if that makes yeah. I love that. No, that makes sense. For sure. Yeah. So for example, like, uh, you and I, you know, we’re friends. Uh, but I feel connected with you. I feel like, you know, we, you know, we get bouncing off each other’s energies.Um, I’ve got family in Swazi land. I’ve got family in different parts of the world, but the, it, the people that I’ve got a strong bond with. You know, they, um, they act no matter where, so that’s, I see, that’s so nice and really comforting for those listening, who aren’t in Australia. And it’s very affected by COVID-19, which has kind of happened and all of that.And I think that’s so important to take note of, and I wanted to see what your like, kind of learnings have been from the global pandemic and how it’s impacted your life. Well, I think to begin with, um, the biggest symptom to me for, um, with regards to the pandemic is grad student. Firstly, because of the fact that I happened to live in Paris, I’m very lucky to be here.And we haven’t had as much of an outbreak as other parts of the world because Pratt is so isolated. The parents, they say we are the biggest, we’re the most isolated big city in the world, you know, so we haven’t experienced much of the shutdowns as compared to other people. And I’m very, very grateful for that.Um, but that being said, I think that has, uh, taken away a lot of the things that we, um, a lot of things that really don’t matter as much, um, uh, in terms of, you know, when you get to a point where you are facing or, um, you are polygamous. You are facing a situation where you have to confront your own mortality. A lot of the things that you think matter, don’t matter as much, you know, you realize that, you know, money isn’t as important as we think it is.We realize that looking good isn’t as important as it is, realize that family and relationships are actually much higher on the totem pole than, you know, then they should, then, then, you know, then we have been placing them. So, um, I think that that separation from each other has connected a lot of people much more in certain ways, because we’ve realized how important human connection is.So for when, when, when the world opens up in different parts of the world, we will appreciate human interaction and people much more. So for those that, um, are, uh, Uh, uh, conscious of that fact, they’ll allow the set themselves to, you know, enjoy the moment when they are interacting with people and not just, you know, be drones out there in the world, you know, it will allow us to connect much more. TJ on gratitude and mortality Phi: That’s just how it is. Yeah. I love that. And I started, remember you did a poster in Christmas that really inspired me. I think you were talking about how we should be grateful all year round, not just during Christmas. And that really inspired me. And something else I’ll add is when you talked about mortality and it’s like, yeah, it is super confronting.Right? I think even people listening to our podcast, it can be confronting because we’ve both experienced grief and death. And one thing I learned from my experience with losing my dad is I’m so grateful to be alive, like gift of life. Like you just think, especially, um, I lost my dad when I was 19. I was like, Oh, like, I didn’t know, people.You know, I thought we will live forever, like invincible, especially our parents. And I’m like, what, what do you mean? Like, he didn’t get sick, he ain’t get cancer. And, you know, I was wondering what you kind of like maybe, um, a taker that you got from your experience from your parents or your family. Like what have you kind of learned about whether it’s like mortality or life itself?TJ: I know very, very deep question, but something I’m very curious about. Very, very important question in blockchain. An interview by Gary V at some point, um, a few weeks ago. And, and the, the guy asked him, he said, what, what gives you drive every day? And he says, you know how Gary B, he is very blunt to read. One of the things that drives me is the fact that I am going to die.Right. And he’s accepted. That fact is accepted the fact that I’m not going to be here forever. So I might as well make the most of. You know, most of the time that I have, and that’s just how I see things as well. Like I have gotten to the point where I’m getting much have been much more, um, I’ve accepted the fact that I’m not going to be here forever.And with the time that I have, I have to make sure not only that I enjoy my life, but I impact people as much as possible. You know, I make a positive impact in people’s lives. So that could be, you know, I don’t have to be, um, uh, Nelson Mandela in order to affect people’s guns in order to affect people’s lives, it can be your family.You know, it could be your friends, but wherever you go be the kind of person who brings, brings the like Brendon Burchard says, he says, bring the joy. Right? So I haven’t learned to. Embody that to bring the joy, bring that positive energy because I’m not going to be here forever. And if there’s anything that I want to be remembered for, it’s for helping people be better people, you know? TJ Shana's favourite books Phi: Thank you for sharing that. Cause I know it can be quite. Yeah, personal and things like that. And I want to throw it back because we just did a live. And you asked me my three favourite books. I would like to ask you the question now.What are your favorite three books? TJ: Whoa. Okay. Three books that have changed my life three. Okay. I think number one. Rich Dad, Poor Dad. That’s my absolute favourites. Finance book. Um, it has taught me a lot in terms of, you know, even just personal finance. Um, and it’s made me realize that the way I interact with money is more an issue of the mind than the money itself I mind is going to affect, you know, my spending habits, et cetera, et cetera.The second, my second favourite book was, Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins. I don’t know if you’ve read that one. That’s an absolute, if you haven’t, if you haven’t, I suggest you actually get the audio because audio is really, really good. So it talks about all these traumas that she has gone through in his life.And this guy is. Uh, he came from a very poor background and he eventually became a mistaken and, you know, he just Rose up through the ranks. He’s faced so much and he has come up much stronger. So that’s that’s number two. And my third favourite book is Atomic Habits. Which I’m using it for the third time.And I think the biggest takeaway from that book is the statement that James clear says. He says we don’t rise to the level of our goals before to the level of our systems. Oh, that’s a good one. And that has changed. Like when I heard that for the first time I’m a mind was blown and it’s one of those things that.Every single time that I have taken my eyes off the system and put my eye only on the goal, I’ve realized that I don’t succeed as much or I film. But when I focus on the system, I go much, much further. And I think that’s a teaching that a lot more people need to hear about, you know. TJ Shana on motivation Phi: Can you share a bit more on that and kind of like obviously us being in the spheres of personal development, growth and spirituality, what’s your take on motivation? I think that’s a really hot topic for everybody. TJ: Well, what’s my take on motivation. I think the motivation is I like the way Les Brown puts it.He said it could be less Brown or. I’m not sure, but anyway, say, uh, motivation is one of those things that, um, you do you, how does he put it? It’s like taking a bot needs to do it every day. If you, if you stop doing it, if you stop partying for one or two days, you can get away with it. But eventually it’s going to show motivation needs to motivate yourself daily.But that being said, I think that motivation within, within, you know, by itself, Isn’t going to take you as far. I think, uh, motivation has to be connected with an intense, um, passion for life. You know, that you love, it’s easier to be a motivational quote, motivated to do those things that you know, that you need to do.Um, regardless of whether the boring or exciting or whatever, you know. So I think that at the end of the day, I think for me, the bigger thing than motivation, it’s just having a passion for life, having, uh, doing things that you love, you know, cause a lot of people try to be motivated to do. The wrong thing, you know?Um, and by the wrong thing, I mean, you know, you are, uh, going after a goal that you’re not passionate about it. It’s not your life, you know? So at the end of the day more with your why you’re more likely to, you know, to keep on. Keep on going. Yeah. Phi: Yeah. It’s so true. Cause sometimes I ask my clients, I’m like, do you actually want this?Or is this what you thought you wanted? And maybe you’ve changed your mind, but you’re still chasing it because you think you have to, or you should, or because your family wants you to, or your partner or whatever. So I thought that was really interesting. And I guess thinking about that, like my clients experience, so some of my clients are male. TJ Shana on self love for males Phi: I know that we just spoke about self love on our Instagram live. And I would love to hear your perspective as a man on the concept of self-love, because I think people bucket, self love is a very girly and feminine energy, which I would agree it’s feminine energy, but it doesn’t mean it’s not for men too.TJ: Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Self-love yeah, it’s a, it’s one of those things we think, uh, when many of you, the word self-love, you know, we think a bubble box and candles and pets, flower petals in the bath and that sort of thing, but it doesn’t really have to be there. They can be though, and it’s a great thing, you know, but that being said, I think self-love has to be the self-love is one of those things that have to be very personalized.And I, I gave you an example. One of the ways I practice self-love is I will throw on a, I actually have a record collection, so I’ll play the old Michael Jackson thriller album and just dance by myself in the house. No one there to watch me with my really, really bad dad. And I enjoy myself. Right? So for someone else that could be fishing for someone else to be going, you know, playing golf for someone else, it might be.It doesn’t really have to be anything that you particularly good at, you know, but it’s, it has to be something that makes you feel as though it makes you not only feel good, but it makes you feel as though you’ve had an outlet. You know, I have a friend of mine who’s, uh, one, one way in which he practices self-love is boxing.You know, he, you know, he goes into the rain spars with someone and, you know, And that’s it. He enjoys himself, you know? So I think that at the end of the day, self love doesn’t have to be, um, we don’t have to put it to within this container of it has to look like this at the end of the day, it has to be more an issue of what works for you and do what doing what works for you.Phi: So, yeah, that’s how I see it. Yeah. And we definitely discussed about how we were saying that love is just such this abundant thing. It’s like everywhere. But for some reason, people think that love is finite and it’s not out there, but it’s also because like, we’ve just discussed, like, love can be in any forms, whether it’s romantic or friendship, there’s just so much love out there, whether it’s for other people or yourself.TJ: Right. Because at the end of the day, we are infinite. Like I said before, we are infinite. Creatures, right. We’ve got infinity within our hearts, within our souls. The soul is an infinite space. That’s what I believe. So that one of things, um, I, I’m very conscious of the fact that I have got infinite love within me.No one can actually cannot run out of love, you know? So if, if I, um, I just need to be conscious of that and, you know, give it to myself. You know, a lot of, I think one of the biggest downfalls for a lot of us and myself included, you know, I’ve experienced, it is very bad. Your self-talk is an indicator of yourself.Love in my experience, you know? And I tell people if you would never say it to someone that you love or to a little kid, why would you say to yourself. Because a lot of people go through life saying, no, no, you can’t do it. Oh, I’m too ugly. Or I’m too, this I’m too short. Or, you know, I’m not skilled enough.But if the person you love was to come to you with an issue, uh, where there’s some self-loading or self-doubting you would encourage them, like, no, you can’t do it, go for it. You know, it’s okay to fail. So if you would say that to someone else, why would you say, why would you expect or say anything less to yourself? TJ Shana on the best advice he has received Phi: Yeah, that’s really true. Thank you. And I guess I’ve kind of wanted to end it today’s podcast with, I just what’s been the best advice you’ve ever been given by who and what did they say to you? Wow. I’m ending it because to sustain this energy because we’ve literally been talking about such grand topics and really getting introspective. So there would be no other end, but this to end on something like that best advice that anyone has ever you.TJ: Wow, Uh, I think the best piece of advice that anyone’s ever given me was actually forget who, who actually told me this.I forget his name, actually. Uh, he was an older man that, um, I interacted with a few years ago. I think at a shop. I love that. It’s always random. Yeah. It’s all these random. And we were talking and he said to me, it’s like, you know, um, one of two things you need to realize in life is no one owes you.Anything never, ever, go through life, expecting people to just hand things to you. If you want something, you have to not only go after it, but you need to create the kind of energy that attracts what it is that you want. And what he meant by that is you need to be deserving of that. You know, because for example, you know, we want love, but we’re not.We’re not embodying love in our own personal lives. You know, you want to get into a relationship with this, um, with this gorgeous human being. Who’s awesome. Who’s honest, who is this with that? But you, you, yourself, you don’t deserve love because you’re not embodying that. So at the end of the day, I think that that really impacted me because it made me realize that at the end of the day, I might want something, but I need to embody what it is that I want before I get it, you know?Phi: Yeah. Such wise words. And I love that. That’s how the world works. It’s always some random interaction that you don’t think that would change your life. But obviously this interaction with that, man, he gave you that piece of advice and it stuck with you and you still don’t, you don’t even know who he is.And I guess it shows that you never know the impact that people make in your life. And you never know the impact that you’ll make on someone’s life. Right. I wanted to end the note because where can people find you TJ? Because you’ve been absolutely amazing in this podcast. I think people are going to want to see your content. How to find TJ and what he is up to Phi: Tell us how can we find you? What are you working on? Tell us more. TJ: Well, I’m working on a few projects that will be out later on this year. So, definitely tools that will, uh, help individuals to take the first step. I’m all about the first step. So that could be anyone that is, um, you know, starting to get out of, you know, taking the first steps towards getting out of depression or someone who’s just gone through a breakup or whatever.It’s these are going to be tools that will help that person, uh, to take the first step. So that’s a promise that’s guaranteed. Um, but where they can find me, TJshanaofficial on Instagram. Uh, it’s all one word. Uh, um, I posted pretty, pretty regularly and there’ll be more video content coming up.There is a podcast in the works as well. Yeah. Yeah. I’ll definitely hit you up. The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 20: TJ Shana Close Phi: Well, thank you so much for being on the podcast. TJ, I will drop all the links in the show notes for everybody to get in touch with you because you’re a fantastic soul and people need to get to know you. So thank you so much for being on the show.I really appreciate it. Thank you so much. We really appreciate it. Thanks, bye.[Episode 20 -TJ Shana Outro]Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon. The post 20: TJ Shana appeared first on Phi Dang, Clarity Confidence Life Coach Sydney.
13 minutes | Mar 15, 2021
19: Money is Energy
Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 19: Money is Energy Money is Energy. Energy is a currency. Learn more about the stories and lies our mind has around money. I share a personal example of investing in my new coach! What you'll learn from this episode Money is energyMy personal story investing $20,000 in my new coachOur outdated and limiting beliefs around what money is and representsGetting serious with the universe about money and energyBeing scared to investMy clients investing and their incredible resultsMoney mindset and how they come to beLimiting money storiesThe easiest and quickest way to see where you are at in terms of your money mindset and energy Key Quotes from this Episode Money is energy just as a calorie as a unit of physical energy. Phi Dang Fear around money which is just plastic or paper that represents energy. Phi Dang Imagine money was a person, what’s your relationship like? Phi Dang Featured Resources on the episode Learn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.Follow Phi on Instagram here.Episode 18 – Your Brain Is A Liar The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 19: Money is Energy You are listening to Episode 19 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: Money is Energy[Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]: Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.Ready to grow? Let’s grow![Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro][Episode 19 – Money is Energy Begins] Money is Energy Introduction Hello hello beautiful souls!WOW. If you’ve been following me on Instagram you’ll know a lot has happened and changed in the last week alone. Yes! I’ve changed the cover of the podcast, ta-da, because I’ve cut my hair and I’m bringing a new, upgraded, quantum level leaped energy. The style, look and feel of my posts and content has changed and will continue to and it’s so exciting. Everything unfolding feels organic, like a living breathing creature and I’m here for it!So what instigated this? Energy.I want to share with you a personal story that ties into the energetics of money. My personal money is energy story: investing in a new coach A few days ago I invested in my new coach over $20,000. Yep I know. It sounds crazy. It sounds mind blowing. My mind thought the same.You are crazy.You’ve lost the plot.and at the same time I had old stories come up like…You aren’t worth the money.You’re bad with money.You don’t know what you’re doing, this is a bad decision.Debt is bad.You’ve been in debt before so this is a really bad idea. Money is energy, it is man made human value Money is so funny. It’s literally plastic in Australia, paper everywhere else but it holds so much value. Man made value we create.Imagine someone decided that acorns would be the new currency or daffodils. Imagine people running around like crazy to collect.And that’s the thing.Money is energy.Energy is a currency. Seeing signs about after investing money When I saw my old stories pop up about the decision to invest, I saw an old part of myself. In fact I had a bird tap at my window in the afternoon before I decided.When I looked up what it meant, it was a mix of good luck and death. Yep.It mean imminent death.Creepy. Scary. Overwhelming.I look it up after because I also saw a grasshopper which meant prosperity and good luck after I decided to do it despite all this mind drama. Mind lies.I realise now looking back it meant death of my old self.Yes. The new me choosing money is energy, investing When I decided to not listen to my old past stories and bullshit that old me died. I stepped up. I changed. I picked the new me. The Phi Dang you are hearing now.That puts her money where her actions and values are.I always want to invest, learn and grow for myself and for my clients.When you go with a coach, you not only learn from them, you learn from their coaches and their coaches coaches. It’s all this amazing compounded knowledge with different interpretations and modifications in your own way. Mind fucking amazing.So when I made the decision my mind told me I was crazy. Old money stories, stagnant old energy It brought up stories about when I went travelling and had $20k debt, about earning and losing money, about being cheap and stingy, about being overindulgent, about having lots of savings and no savings – all of the things which didn’t matter.It made me realise I like to have savings in my bank account and hoard it because I’m always so scared of having no money and losing everything. It’s just money. I’ll still be alive, okay and I trust I will find a way to make money back.Why have savings if you don’t have a means for it?It’s stagnant stuck energy. Life is about living, having energy Why play small in this life?Life is about LIVING. Being alive. Feeling.So my choice to do it, to invest was because I am not my past.I am not my mind’s lies and stories.I am here now in this moment.I felt a FUCK YES in my body.And when I did it even days later, I would do it all over again.I have made SO MANY QUANTUM LEAPS. Big shifts and changes.Because that $20k represents A LOT OF ENERGY. Getting serious about your energy to the universe I’m stepping up and going to the universe, fucking hello I am here. I am serious. I am not staying small and trapped in my scarcity stories anymore. I’m fucking powerful and abundant. Bring it on. Everything I desire.I guarantee when you listen in a few months and see all the changes compound yourmind is going to blow along with mine.Already so much is happening I am manifesting so much everyday bits of money, seeing signs from the universe I never saw before, having so much energy, feeling amazing, being so happy, I’m actually high on life! None of it to do with money. It’s all about ENERGY. Are you scared to invest? Here's my advice So my advice to you is when you feel fear, can you meet the scary, razor edges of your fear?Can you drop your mind and go deep into your body to truly feel it.To trust yourself and ask yourself is this fear because of old stories and crap but I really want it so I will do it vs this isn’t for me.You have to go first and make the move to change your life. The universe won’t do it for you.You have to show yourself who you are, right now in this moment. Forget the past.What are you doing now that will influence your future?Are you living in line with your values?The more uncomfortable and scary it is… the greater it will change your life.Feel the fear and do it anyway. I can tell you all this because I know it to be true, I am living it and experiencing it. Listen to your heart and soul Don’t take my word, do it for yourself. Listen to your heart and soul. You will see.Your body never lies to you, if you’re scared you’ll feel it.But guess who will lie to you as per last week’s episode? Your brain is a liar Your brain. Your mind.It loves to propel stories.You’re not good enough.You’re not worthy.You won’t make enough money.You won’t get a return on investment.It will go on and on as your brain tries to lie and convince you how you just aren’t amazing or good enough. Stuck energy. In a rut. So you stay small. Stuck. Trapped.Wondering why am I not changing?Why aren’t I happy?What’s wrong?But see, if you only listened to your heart and soul. Open your heart and soul Opened up everything from your eyes to your heart and soul about potential.See the potential of abundance.I am amazing.I am worthy of spending money on and investing in myself.I will make back the money or get it from the universe one way or another. I trust.I will get a return on investment whether it’s money, knowledge, growth and transformation.YES! On clients scared to invest their money and energy I send so much love to beautiful souls when they aren’t ready to make the leap to work with me.Mostly it’s money. But it’s not really about the money.Money can be an excuse to hide behind.It’s because they aren’t ready to trust themselves.That they are worth it.To choose the person they will become after working with me.I send love that one day they realise it and decide to stop playing small, GO BIG and invest in themselves. The incredible results I co create with my clients To get the incredible transformations that I deliver with my clients.Moving on from their ex.Shedding their past.Working through trauma and limiting beliefs. Realising the lies their mind tells them.New relationships, dating and the love of their life.New jobs.A new career.A new mindset.A new energy.Acing exams and university.Sleeping better at night.Being more positive and happy.Being excited to wake up every single day.Being and embodying love.Manifesting everything they desire from money to opportunities.Feeling so whole and happy in their body.Magnetising people around them. They are that person when they walk in the room you can’t help but pay attention.YES. THIS.But not everyone will get there and that’s okay. I know and trust that the beautiful souls meant to work with me will work with me, no matter what. I love that. I love them. I love those not ready and send even more love. I love you. Money is a currency and unit of energy Threading this all back. Money is energy. An expression, form of energy. Humans give it value. Not many people are aware or conscious of this and I want to give you this beautiful gift of knowledge. Money is energy just as a calorie as a unit of physical energy.If you’re finding this hard to take in, it’s time to do the work and bring awareness to your money stories. Money mindset stories that keep you small Your money mindset and stories come from experience, what you hear as a kid such as money doesn’t grow on trees, making money is hard, I’m not from a rich family, I can’t afford to buy, money can’t buy you happiness, money is evil etc.It all has an origin from what you heard from your parents and people around you as a kid.Can you see how these experiences have created limiting money beliefs?Don’t blame yourself, it’s your experiences and programming from the world around you. As a child you absorb everything like a sponge, soaking every thing in. Even when you don’t realise it.Fear around money which is just plastic or paper that represents energy.Money exists to be used.Money wants to be respected and loved, not feared. Imagine money was a person... Imagine money was a person, what’s your relationship like?Do you show them love and appreciation?Or are you scared to look at money?Running away from money? One way to find out where you are at in your money mindset and energy A good indicator I’ve spoken about with my clients is open your bank account and see how you feel.That’s a good sign about where your money mindset is.Scared to do it? Feel terrible?There’s work to be done. The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 19: Money is Energy I can help you, I would love to and I’ve been through it myself so please get in touch with me.I would love to work with you through 1:1 coaching to see amazing results for you like my incredible clients.I love being a life coach and helping people to wake up, be happy and enjoy life.I’m so excited for next week’s episode where I will have a very special guest my friend TJ. We met through Instagram and he is so passionate about motivating the masses. He’s a personal growth champion. We’ll be going live on Instagram on Saturday 12pm Sydney Australia time. Watch this space.Have a great day beautiful soul, chat to you next Tuesday! Love and positivity.[Episode 19 -Money is Energy Outro]Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon. The post 19: Money is Energy appeared first on Phi Dang, Clarity Confidence Life Coach Sydney.
13 minutes | Mar 9, 2021
18: Your Brain Is A Liar
Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 18: Your Brain Is A Liar This episode is all about how your brain is a liar. In fact, your brain lies to you all the time, every single day. Learn about the 13 ways in which your brain lies to you. What you'll learn from this episode Why your brain lies The negativity bias Why the brain is lazy and likes to be efficient 13 ways in which your brain lies to you Key Quotes from this Episode The negativity bias was very useful for our cave man ancestors back in the day where as now not so much. Phi Dang Your brain loves to be comfortable at all costs including long term happiness. It likes to repeat thoughts you already always have even if they are negative because that’s easy. Phi Dang Should are guilt beatings. Phi Dang Featured Resources on the episode Learn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.Follow Phi on Instagram here.Original Episode 12 – Understanding Your Negative EmotionsLVE SERIES – Episode 13 – The Mindset of LoveLVE SERIES – Episode 14 – How To Make Self Love A PriorityLVE SERIES – Episode 15 – How To Be A Magnet For Love LVE SERIES – Episode 16 – Relationships As Mirrors The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 18: Your Brain Is A Liar You are listening to Episode 18 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: Your Brain Is A Liar[Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]: Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.Ready to grow? Let’s grow![Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro][Episode 18 – Your Brain Is A Liar Begins] Your Brain Is A Liar Introduction Hello beautiful soul! This episode had been a long time coming. I feel like I’ve been teasing it way back because it was meant to be Episode 12 which has turned into Episode 18 because of my spark and desire to do the love series (which was amazing by the way!).The title of the podcast just jumps as screams out at you don’t you think. It’s alarming and it’s true. Before I dive into today’s episode I wanted to give a huge shout out to Tegan who I got to speak to yesterday who listens to the podcast. Hi Tegan thank you so much for listening beautiful soul, I appreciate you. Shout out to my beautiful clients Also a huge shout of to 3 of my clients, Matt, Josie and Carrie who are almost at the end of our coaching containers. Ahhhh I love you all, I love helping you and watching you all transform in your individual, unique way. It makes my heart and soul sing. Thank you for honouring me with the blessing of being your life coach.If you’ve been listening to me on this podcast for a while, checking out my Instagram posts and feel drawn – please listen to your tug! I would love to speak to you, I offer a complementary 45 minute call no strings attached worth $260 so jump on it if it feels right for you. Your Brain Is A Liar Let’s go into today’s episode.Your brain is a liar. It means well because it wants to protect you and keep you safe but it lies to you a lot.There is nothing wrong with you. It’s just that you believe the lies. Common lies your brain tells you Your brain tells you things like:You’re not good enoughYou can’t changeYou can’t get what you wantYou will be the same foreverNo one understands youThere’s something wrong with youYou will be single and alone forever You can’t finish anythingYou can’t lose weightYou can’t start that businessYou can’t make a lot of moneyYou can’t be positiveAll these lies, it’s not your fault. Why your brain lies to you? We all have these thoughts until we do personal development work or until we have a life coach who shows us how our brain lies. Why does your brain lie?Simply put, it’s hardwired that way through evolution to protect you and keep you safe through different means. Your brain is negatively biased Personally from working with my clients, they think something is wrong with them because they are so negative and cannot seem to get over it.What they don’t realise is that we are all negatively biased. That it takes uncomfortable, intentional, conscious work to overcome the negativity. That it is truly difficult to do on your own and much easier with a life coach.In fact psychologist Rick Hanson likens the mind like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones. The negativity bias is so evident in your everyday life, can you relate to the examples I’m about to share? Examples of negatively biased thinking It always feels that the negativity triumphs the positivity. You could have 5 good things happen but you focus on the 1 negative.If your brain is wondering it’s more likely to think of everything that could go wrong instead of everything that could go right. Quitting your job to start your own business – what if you don’t make any money and can’t pay your bills, what if you have no customers and look like the biggest failure and embarrassment to everyone you know. These thoughts are more likely than what if it all goes right and I make lots of money, what if it all goes right and I only work 10 hours a week.You are more compelled and likely to leave negative reviews than positive reviews for restaurants, experiences, products and so forth. The Thai restaurant you usually go to every week, suddenly they missed the spring rolls in your order. You feel angry and want to change Thai restaurants even though this is the first thing to go wrong out of 20 orders.You can remember and recall negative experiences more clearly and often than positive memories. It’s easy to remember the times you were heartbroken feeling numb, broken and crying non stop as opposed to the recent memory of you going to the beach with your friends.You react more strongly to negative things that happen to you in the day as opposed to positive things. When someone compliments you, you shake it off and thank them, it hardly lingers on your mind vs someone spilling coffee on your white top. You immediately feel annoyed and shout out the person who spilt it. Weren’t they paying attention? What is wrong with them?You will remember insults more than praise. You remember that moment that kid said you were fat and ugly even though nowadays you get told you’re beautiful and attractive but it’s hard to believe.The negativity bias was very useful for our cave man ancestors back in the day where as now not so much.The negativity kept cave men on alert…You are a cave man outside and hear the bushes behind you rustling. Was it the wind or a lion in the bushes moving around?Your brain says lion to keep you safe, it is better to be safe than sorry Your brain is lazy and values efficiency Your brain loves to be efficient after all it has so many things to do. Think about it your brain ensures you subconsciously breathe, blink and circulate blood without having to think about it. It uses so much energy to keep you alive therefore it likes repetition and easy that means comfortable.If you’re always complaining then your brain will latch onto this. The more you do it, the more it will happen automatically as your brain neurons work together. Your brain thinks why build a temporary bridge when I can build a permanent bridge since this human loves to do it all the time. So it does. As the saying goes: “Neurons that fire together, wire together.” Therefore your brain loves to be comfortable at all costs including long term happiness. It likes to repeat thoughts you already always have even if they are negative because that’s easy.The brain is used to being in a comfort cocoon and any time you push it especially getting outside your comfort zone, the brain will panic.Working consciously to change your thoughts = effort = hard = brain likes to avoid. The 13 ways in which your brain lies to you 1. Catastrophising Every little setback becomes a huge hurdle – it’s the sky is falling way of thinking. You make a problem more significant than it is and it is often the worst case scenario. An example of this is you go on a date with someone who doesn’t want a second date and you now believe you will never find love again in your life. 2. All or nothing Everything is either black and white and you overlook the possibility that there’s a spectrum. An example you are either a success or a failure, whereas in reality most of us have a mix of successes and failures. 3. Arbitrary Inference Coming to conclusions without all the facts. For example someone hasn’t texted you back for 5 hours, they must not like you. Here you don’t know what the person is doing, what they may be going through, if they have access to a phone and so forth. 4. Perfectionism The need to relentlessly achieve very high standards immediately, mistakes are seen as fatal flaws and your brain does not acknowledge growth. An example is when trying something new and needing to be amazing immediately otherwise thinking you are a failure. 5. Discounting You are quick to point out negatives in any situation or turn positive ones negative. An example is she only complimented me because she feels sorry for me or they only did that because they want money. 6. Personalisation Making everything about you even though it has nothing to do with you. That person doesn’t want to date me because I’m not good enough when really that person just got out of a long term relationship and isn’t ready to commit to anyone. 7. Mind reading You think people can read your mind (that they should know what you want instead of you communicating it) such as your partner should know exactly what you want for your birthday and you also think you can mind read other people – your partner should know you like to get a morning text every day. 8. Fortune Telling You think you can predict the future with certainty. For example you get the text “we need to talk” and immediately you assume that someone wants to break up with you or if it’s from your boss you are going to get fired. 9. Magnification You put more emphasis on the negative and downplay the positives such as you had an amazing road trip away but the light scratch on your car ruined it. 10. Should Should rule your mind. Should are guilt beatings. The energy behind having to do something is draining. Replace your should with wants and feel the difference there.Examples of this:I should eat more healthy food vs I want to eat more healthy food to have more energy.I should wake up earlier vs I want to wake up earlier to do more before work.I should exercise more vs I want to exercise more to be healthier and fitter.I should save more money vs I want to save more money to buy a house and have security and safety. 11. Confusion – “I don’t know” – my clients will laugh because they know I do not accept that answer in coaching. You know. You know. Confusion is a comfort indulging emotion. As discussed earlier our brain loves comfort!When you are confused you are in limbo, you don’t have to take responsibility for your decisions. When you are confused, the longer you are confused, the more you are confused. You are scared of what will happen when you make a decision, how you will feel, how you will think. So you stay “confused”. 12. Automatic Negative Thoughts - ANTS Also known as ANTS. Whilst these ANTS are based on your beliefs and perception which you can’t control on a subconscious level (without doing the work). In fact they are a product of your doing, when you repeatedly allow negative thoughts and believe negative thoughts this becomes a very strong habit in your brain repeated day in and day out. You can take control through doing the work and challenging these thoughts and beliefs. This applies to anything whether it’s negative thoughts, putting yourself down etc 13. Blaming remaining in a victim role and blaming who you are and your life on people or circumstances outside of yourself. Remember you are responsible for your thoughts, attitude and actions. Circumstances are neutral, your thoughts create your feelings, actions and results. The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 18: Your Brain Is A Liar Yeppp, these are all the ways in which your brain lies to you. It’s alarming. Be alert. Be aware. Be present. If you catch yourself doing it, you become conscious, awake. With that, what are you going to do with it. Will you believe the lies or choose to shed the light of truth on the darkness of the lies? Until next Tuesday beautiful soul, love and positivity. [Episode 18 -Your Brain Is A Liar Outro] Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon. The post 18: Your Brain Is A Liar appeared first on Phi Dang, Clarity Confidence Life Coach Sydney.
11 minutes | Mar 1, 2021
17: The #1 Barrier To Love
Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 17: The #1 Barrier To Love This episode pulls together all the learnings of the LVE SERIES from mindset, self love, energy and purpose. Find out what is the #1 barrier to love. What is blocking you from love and why it is blocking you from love. What you'll learn from this episode The #1 barrier to love in your lifeThe three things that block love from your life Key Quotes from this Episode Your job isn’t to find or look for love. It’s for you to figure out how you can be more open to love. To let more love in. How are you creating blockages when it comes to love? Phi Dang The ego, the mind - we attach ourselves to the concept of love and by doing so, it no longer is love. Phi Dang If it’s meant to be it will be, even if it’s in a year, ten years, twenty years. Phi Dang Featured Resources on the episode Learn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.Follow Phi on Instagram here.LVE SERIES – Episode 13 – The Mindset of LoveLVE SERIES – Episode 14 – How To Make Self Love A PriorityLVE SERIES – Episode 15 – How To Be A Magnet For Love LVE SERIES – Episode 16 – Relationships As Mirrors The Power of Now – Eckhart TolleOsho The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 17: The #1 Barrier To Love You are listening to Episode 17 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: The #1 Barrier To Love[Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]: Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.Ready to grow? Let’s grow![Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro][Episode 17 – The #1 Barrier to Love Begins] Relationships as Mirrors Introduction Hello beautiful soul and hello March! Say whaaat yes, two months down of the year and it’s already March. I have a cheeky confession, the love series was meant to the for month of February but I haven’t said all I needed to say on it. Oops and In fact can I ever? There is always so much to talk about when it comes to love. Especially for me – It’s been such a big theme of my life I swear I could talk endless hours on it. So many stories. So many experiences. So many insights from working with clients.That being said for now I do see this as the last week I concentrate on love so see this podcast as bringing everything together from the love series that we have covered mindset, self love, energy and purpose. The series is still going on Instagram until the end of the week through posts, lives and reels. I popped up randomly to do a live on Instagram today about the purpose of love and I’ll probably circle back and talk about love mindset, self love and love energetics as well to close the loop. My world - Intuitive card pulls So what’s going on in my world and my clients? If you follow me on Instagram you may have seen I started doing intuitive card pulls for the community which have been really amazing. They have been very successful with people saying eerily accurate, overwhelmingly spot on and just how deeply the card pulled resonates with them. It might turn into a thing it might not but it’s been really fun to tap into my intuition and be a channel for spirit. Client Wins in Relationships, Dating and Love Shall we talk about love and clients?I had a beautiful client who ended up in the arms of an ex and has had a massive breakthrough realising it was her old programming and past coming through with a new love potential already! I’ve had another client work through her own pain and triggers coming up in her relationship which has been a huge portal to self discovery. Another break up with her boyfriend which was scary and uncomfortable but realising everything on her path in life is happening for a reason, for her growth and expansion. For another client he’s realising he can love how he wants to, you don’t have to follow what society puts out there and tradition. You don’t have to get married. You don’t even have to be monogamous. You don’t even have to use labels. It’s all up to you – really, it is.If you’re feeling pulled and called to work on the love in your life whether that’s your mindset around love, self love, the energy of love and what you’re attracting into your life or the purpose of love, get in touch, let’s chat as I would love to help you. What is the #1 barrier to love? Now let’s get into today’s episode The #1 Barrier To Love. Boom, yep it’s a big title but truly it’s the biggest barrier I’ve seen working with multiple clients, males and females, all ages and all over the world.It may or may not surprises you. The biggest barrier to love is you.Yes you.We are our own worst enemy because we block love.So how do you block love? 1. Constraints to love Love is this beautiful, abundant, expansive energy.It’s always available yet our minds, the ego says otherwise. There’s not enough love to go around. The old scarcity story coming up.Love isn’t only in a romantic sense, someone to complete me and make me feel whole. Nope, love isn’t just a relationship in a romantic sense. Love is always around, in yourself – self love, in your friends, family, career, passion, hobbies.It’s your mind that creates the construct. I only want love this way. My way or it’s no way.Love has to happen by this date and look like this and feel like this.That’s you creating constraints!Another way you do it?I’m only worthy of love when I’m like this or do this or be like this or weigh like this or look like this.Who determines that? You.Again you are creating constraints to love by having to be a certain way before you accept love – it’s conditional… Open your heart, love is everywhere. Like I said on my Instagram post the other day, your job isn’t to find or look for love. It’s for you to figure out how you can be more open to love. To let more love in. How are you creating blockages when it comes to love? 2. Attachment to love The ego, the mind – we attach ourselves to the concept of love and by doing so, it no longer is love.Love is like the Corinthians bible verse. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is free. Love is non attachment.Yet we constrain it like I said earlier or we become attached.We want to control.Love isn’t controlled.Love is free.I love the following quotes as I feel they truly embody love. Quotes that embody love If you love something set it free. If it comes back it's yours. If not, it was never meant to be. Unknown Mmmm this one hits home. That’s why I always trust in myself and what is meant to be when it comes to love. The one who seemed to get away. The one you couldn’t get your mind off. The one who crushed your damn heart. The one who couldn’t commit.It. doesn’t. matter.If it’s meant to be it will be, even if it’s in a year, ten years, twenty years.I have so much unshakeable faith and trust in this and I have so much inner peace in my being knowing this.This Osho quote has always stuck by me: If you love a flower, don't pick it up. Because if you pick it up it does and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation. Osho Oh yes! How we want someone to change for us or we try to change for someone else.Love is right now, as is. No need for change.What really opened my eyes on this is well hey, I love someone and they aren’t perfect in fact for from it so that would of course apply to me. Someone is going to love me exactly as I am right now, flaws, beauty and all. 3. Closing our eyes to ourselves The third reason why we are our own barrier to love? It’s closing our eyes to our selves. Not getting to know ourself. Being unconscious in the sense we aren’t aware of something.If you are unaware you aren’t in the wrong because you don’t know about it and that’s okay. We can’t judge others because we always have something to learn, to grow, to expand ourselves. This unwillingness to see manifests when you jump from relationship to relationship or numb yourself to the pain and learnings of a past relationship through meaningless empty hook ups or getting so drunk you can’t remember anything and waking up dazed and confused. Maybe its by throwing yourself into your job, extra projects and hours or constantly going to the gym and being meticulous with what you eat.It’s all a distraction. It’s all a buffering from feeling what we need to feel.The so called negative emotions awaken us. Pain. Suffering. Negativity. Heartbreak. Disappointment. Betrayal.They awaken us, to find ourselves. To understand ourselves better.When you are aware of how you are, when you do the work, the reflecting you realise the stories you have, the beliefs, the values, perceptions, experiences how all of this makes up your programming and how your mind thinks.When you are aware you can’t turn back, change is inevitable. Opening up to love is inevitable otherwise you are creating your own suffering.So really how I am wrapping up the learnings of the love series is love is everywhere, it’s ready and open to you right now the question is, are you truly open to love? Are you getting out of your own way? The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 17: The #1 Barrier To Love Close Ahhh seriously this feels like such a soul satisfying way to end the series.Being conscious of your mindset, your thoughts around love.Being love, your true state as Eckhart Tolle says: Love is a state of being. Your love is not outside, it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you.” Eckhart Tolle The self love. Really transcending that it isn’t even self, it’s just pure love.The energetics of love, understanding how you are always a magnet and pulling in a vibrational match for what is going on internally.The purpose of love, how everyone we interact with is a mirror. That our purpose isn’t that we were born to be in a relationship, it goes on beyond that so much more. If you think that’s your purpose, here’s a truth bomb you are lacking purpose and meaning in your life.Here’s to love because it truly is so incredible and expansive.I truly hope you’ve enjoyed the love series as much as I have and based on all your lovely DMs and comments I can just feel all the love for this. So much love and appreciation for you beautiful soul. Until the next Tuesday, we’ll speak again. Love and Positivity. [Episode 17 – The #1 Barrier To Love Outro]Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon. The post 17: The #1 Barrier To Love appeared first on Phi Dang, Clarity Confidence Life Coach Sydney.
14 minutes | Feb 22, 2021
16: Relationships as Mirrors
Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 16: Relationships as Mirrors The final episode of the LVE SERIES. This episode is all about the purpose of love. Why do we love? We learn how relationships are a mirror of ourselves and the seven essene mirror principles. What you'll learn from this episode What is the purpose of loveTwin Flames as Mirrors How relationships are mirrorsThe importance of mental mirrors and physical mirrorsThe 7 Essene Mirror Principles Key Quotes from this Episode Healthy relationships don’t happen by chance, they happen by awakening. Phi Dang Just like how mirrors in a gym provide a reference point to yourself, relationships are a reference point to yourself internally. Phi Dang Relationships make you see things in yourself that you might not see if you are single and alone. Phi Dang Featured Resources on the episode Learn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here. Follow Phi on Instagram here. LVE SERIES – Episode 13 – The Mindset of Love LVE SERIES – Episode 14 – How To Make Self Love A Priority LVE SERIES – Episode 15 – How To Be A Magnet For Love The Power of Now – Eckhart Tolle More reading on the Essene Mirrors: Gregg Braden – The Seven Essene Mirrors The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 16: Relationships As Mirrors You are listening to Episode 16 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: Relationships as Mirrors.[Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]: Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.Ready to grow? Let’s grow![Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro][Episode 16 – Relationships as Mirrors Begins] Relationships as Mirrors Introduction Hello beautiful soul!What a journey it has been for the love series.Thank you all for your kind words on the Instagram posts, reels and podcasts so far. I appreciate it so much.Thank you all for reaching out to me in the DMs on Instagram, I reply to all my DMs (unless you’re cold selling to me or begging me to follow you back sorry I’m not about that!) and love speaking to each and every one of you.Thank you to all my clients, it’s an honour to be part of your life and journey in this very moment. Love and relationships are a key area of my coaching and I am seeing incredible transformations across the board. Client Wins in Relationships, Dating and Love One of my clients was a self professed crying, heartbroken wreck from an unexpected breakup a few months ago. Two months into our coaching, she attended a party where her ex showed up and she felt like a whole new person – calm, so deeply in love with herself and unaffected by his presence. Another two of my clients have transitioned from casual relationships to committed relationships with their flings and friends with benefits through the incredible work they’ve done working on themselves particularly self love and stepping up through their communication which is amazing, I am so proud of them.For my other clients we are working through heartbreak whether that’s moving on from past relationships or breaking up with partners in relationships that no longer serve them. On that I wanted to share, when you do the work and start shifting stagnant energy, don’t be surprised when you find yourself attracted to new energies in your life whether that’s in love, relationships, friendships or your career! I see it happen all the time with myself and my clients.If the love series has been really resonating and vibing with you, if my client’s successes are what you want, I invite you to DM me on Instagram – let’s chat about 1:1 coaching and working together. I offer a complementary 45 minute call no strings attached to see if we are the right match for each other, you have nothing to lose, so get it on it beautiful soul – I look forward to speaking with you. The final podcast for the series, the purpose of love On today’s episode – I can’t believe we are on our final instalment of the series! We’ve gone from episode 13 on love mindset, to self love on episode 14, to the energetics of love on episode 15 now to ending with the thought around the purpose of love.Oh yes we go deep!Over the weekend I celebrated a beautiful friend’s birthday and I got speaking to another girl on the trip who is in a place of conflict at the moment.She’s not sure about the guy she’s dating. Are they meant to be or not?I think we have all been there and then she brings up something interesting.He might be her twin flame. It feels like a lifetime ago when I think about twin flames. Twin Flames as Mirrors I think I met mine at the beginning of my spiritual awakening.For those who don’t know what a twin flame is, it’s a very intense soul connection with another to the point you are thought to be another person’s half. The idea of a twin flame is that you are part of one original soul that has been split into two bodies.He gave me the book, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and the rest is history. In fact I am re reading the book 8 years later and it truly resonates with me now more than ever. To be honest, back then I was only really starting to understand spirituality whereas now I practice it. I fell so deeply and passionately for him but it wasn’t meant to be.He was definitely emotionally unavailable and I triggered him big time – especially going through my dad being very ill and passing away. In fact it was very short lived but it served a huge purpose.I am so thankful to him that I got to wake up before my dad passed and to share with him I finally understood all the consciousness principles he would speak about long before I even knew what it meant to be awake and conscious. I’ve always been under the belief that we are not meant to be with our twin flames in a lifetime, rather they are a mirror to yourself. A catalyst for your soul growth.I believe relationships are some of our biggest spiritual assignment. Healthy relationships don’t happen by chance, they happen by awakening. Relationships are reference points Relationships make you see things in yourself that you might not see if you are single and alone. You have no reference point. Others can give us a reference point in fact from the beginning of our lives our parents do.“You’re such a good girl or boy”“You are growing so quickly”“It was only yesterday you were a baby!”This brings us to today’s episode which is all about relationships as mirrors. The purpose of mirrors When you go to the gym, there are so many mirrors around. So why all the mirrors?Well, for one you can see your form, your technique, if you are doing something properly.Two, it’s an ego boost right? Right in front of you, you can see how your body is shaping, yes looking good girl and what your body looks like when you’re working out.Just like how mirrors in a gym provide a reference point to yourself, relationships are a reference point to yourself internally. Every relationship we have is a mirror whether it’s romantic or not, whether you are single or not.This means your friend, your sibling, your family, your partner, your colleague and so forth. What do you mean a mirror? What do I mean by a mirror?Well, every quality you see in another whether you like it or not, is a reflection of yourself. Attitudes, behaviours, beliefs, values, programming. In order to recognise a certain quality, you must be able to see it within yourself. What the mirror reflects, you may be aware or unaware of within yourself.Once you do the work and you’re aware, you can’t just stop there. It’s one thing to be aware and it’s another thing to do the damn work! If you don’t like what you see in the mirror, don’t get mad at the mirror, clean the mirror.And here’s some even deeper insight for you.We subconsciously seek out what we need to heal in ourselves in relationships so you can be at ease with mistakes you’ve made. It’s okay, in fact they needed to happen, to teach you, to wake you up no matter how many you make. My personal example of mirroring in relationships After all I needed to make mistakes and learn so much when I was single for 8 years!A personal example I share with you is that I used to date all the wrong people. In these relationships I felt lonely – I didn’t feel like my needs were being met and I felt unheard. It would be so difficult for them to make time for me or consider me a priority in their life. I felt unworthy when they would not commit to a relationship with me or introduce me to their friends. This pattern would play out for many years, I suspected it had something to do with me but I didn’t do the work. I just scratched upon the surface.After doing the work and having a coach, I realised that this all reflected my relationship with myself. I didn’t meet my own needs – I never vocalised what I wanted and I wanted someone else to meet my needs for me. Make me feel loved, special and worthy. I didn’t make myself a priority, I would value their time and bend over backwards to make their schedule work with mine. Oh they can’t meet up that day but can do this day? Ahh! I was meant to meet up with this friend, but if I do, I won’t be able to see them so I’d bail on my friend to see them. A big no no! The commitment phobeness? I wasn’t committed to myself and my growth. I was emotionally unavailable, looking for love where deep down I knew I wouldn’t find someone to reciprocate it because if they did I wasn’t ready. They served as a distraction to needing to love myself, needing to be vulnerable with myself. A two way mirror Not only that, mirrors aren’t confined they are two way. What you pick up in a business situation may play itself out in the context of a relationship. For example if you find it hard to ask for a pay rise at work, you may find it hard to ask someone for commitment in a relationship. The Seven Essene Mirrors To further delve in to the work of relationships and mirrors is to see it from the seven essene mirrors. The ancient Essenes who’s work are the mirrors, are an ancient Jewish group who are the authors of the Dead Sea Scrolls. The Egyptians called them healers back in the day. Their ancient teachings on the following seven mirrors teach us about how our experiences and relationships reflect different aspects of our selves. 1. The mirror of the moment In another, you see yourself in the present moment. What is going on in your inner world now reflects in your outer world. For example if you feel chaotic inside, your reality will be chaotic on the outside. 2. The mirror of that which is judged In another, you see your own biases and judgement particularly big, energetically charged and emotional reactions. 3. The mirror of which is lost, given away or taken away In another, what can you recognise that you have lost, given away or had taken from yourself? This is to do with your relationship with yourself. By seeing what you lose you may be very attracted out his person because they have what you now want and used to have. It will make you confront your regret perhaps around being ungrateful. It could be innocence, kindness, respect, love, compassion, honesty. All of which you think you have lost can be reclaimed. 4. The mirror of forgotten love In another you see a past way of life or an unfinished relationship. This is where we see patterns repeating themselves over and over, particularly compulsive or addictive behaviours. These usually replay over and over until you learn what you need to know and see what you need to see. 5. The mirror of mother/father In another, you can see the unconscious imprinting of your parents – behaviours, beliefs that aren’t yours to begin with. How are you acting in ways that your parents would have in this situation? 6. The mirror of your quest into darkness In another, you can see the most feared aspects of self worth, trust, abandonment and loneliness. This mirror is all about the challenging and dark times in your life. An experience we know as the ‘dark knight of the soul’ Knowing that it is happening for a reason, for your growth. To trust in yourself that you will find the way and come out stronger, wiser. I found this one harder to explain conceptually so to further share I truly experienced this when I lost my dad. I found myself in a very dark place and would pick up on the darkness in others which I saw in myself. This experience deeply changed me as a person, my perception to life in the best way and has helped me help my clients as I am able to hold space for them, I don’t fear the darkness or shadow parts they see in themselves because I also can see it in myself. 7. The mirror of self perception In another, you can see how you are. Others will perceive you and treat you according to how you perceive and treat yourself.If you are have low self esteem and fail to see the good in yourself, you’ll find others struggling to as well. If you are angry, bitter and unloving towards yourself, you’ll find others treating you so. The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 16: Relationships As Mirrors Close This episode definitely calls for self reflection.What is the mirror of your life revealing to you – circumstances which are happening, relationships in your life.In the mirror of the moment, here in life it self, this ver moment – are you here now?If you are looking to further develop your relationship with yourself and others, get in touch with me and let’s chat about working together through 1:1 coaching. Have a fantastic week ahead beautiful soul, speak to you next Tuesday. Love and Positivity.[Episode 16 – Mirrors as Relationships Outro]Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon. The post 16: Relationships as Mirrors appeared first on Phi Dang, Clarity Confidence Life Coach Sydney.
16 minutes | Feb 8, 2021
14: How To Make Self Love A Priority
Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 14: How To Make Self Love A Priority This is this second part of four of the brand new LVE SERIES. This episode is all about practical tips on how to make self love a priority in your life all day, every day. Everything from priorities to boundaries, you don’t want to miss this episode. What you'll learn from this episode Why self love is hard How to make self love a priority in your lifePhi’s personal blocks to self love that involve a past relationship Making time for yourself is important What happens you don’t love yourselfBoundariesListening to your intuition Honesty & Authenticity Key Quotes from this Episode If you don’t make yourself your own priority who will? It’s not your family, friends or partners job. They don’t live just for you. Phi Dang Boundaries are an act of self love and function of self respect. Phi Dang The most successful people in the world have a team of helpers. Phi Dang Featured Resources on the episode Learn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.Follow Phi on Instagram here.LVE SERIES – Episode 13 – The Mindset of Love The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 14: How To Make Self Love A Priority You are listening to Episode 14 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: The Mindset of Love[Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]: Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.Ready to grow? Let’s grow![Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro][Episode 14 – How To Make Self Love A Priority Begins]Hi Beautiful Soul! Welcome to the second podcast of the LVE SERIES. It’s almost Valentine’s Day and love is in the air. I actually attended my cousin’s wedding over the weekend, it was so much fun and moved me to tears to see the love between A&C. Congratulations fam! Love is in the air for my clients Love is also in the air for my clients! I recently spoke to one of my old clients, who I worked with to help him move forward from past relationships including a divorce holding him back. We worked on his self love and particularly his boundaries which led to him getting back on the dating scene sooner rather than later. He was ready, he was just scared – as we all would be.He is now in the early stages of dating someone who isn’t his usual type which I love because I recall us working together on love manifestation and scripting – to see it come to life is so wonderful. Another beautiful soul who just invested in herself through 1:1 coaching has attracted a beautiful man in her life who shares her values of spirituality – it’s early days but the energy is so good and seeing her smile makes me so happy! It’s so funny how the universe works, it can see you working on yourself, investing in yourself and you just become a magnet for abundance and everything you want. It’s not surprise as you are vibrating on higher frequency. I LOVE IT! These are a few of the love stories unfolding and for my other clients it’s all about self love! This ties in nicely.With the Love Series, we kicked it off last week with your love mindset and now we are talking about self love. You don't learn about self love when you are younger From a young age we are taught to give and extend love toward others. Be kind to your siblings and friends, share your toys and treats but we are never really taught to do the same thing for ourselves.This episode is all about how to make self love a priority, how to make self love your priority. Identify your blocks to self love So many of us go around listening to the self talk in our heads without ever questioning it. We run with it as if it is the truth. Your thoughts are not facts. To prioritise self love is to figure out what is blocking you from loving yourself. This is something I do regularly with my clients, as a life coach having an objective party to listen and support you is something so important.Regular block to self love that I see are taking on other people’s labels of you e.g. you are selfish or you are ugly, the past – basing your lovability on how someone has treated you whether that’s your family or past relationships and our up bringing – A time that usually stands out for most people is during high school being surrounded by other kids and the way they treat us. Phi's personal example of a block to self love I’ll share my personal example with love. Growing up as an only child, I really craved a lot of love and attention. As mentioned the beginning of the podcast not many of us are taught we need to give it to ourselves and it makes sense at a young age it’s hard to grasp and comprehend this concept. So to that I always looked for love outside of myself and I felt that I had to perform to get this love.I had to look nice to get compliments or do really well in my studies to get praise. It wasn’t until my first relationship a high school sweetheart that I realised the way I was through his feedback. He used to tell me I was so selfish and I carried that baggage for a long time. I took it as a fact and went onto date people where my boundaries would slip and slide – I was too scared to have my own wants and needs because I was ‘selfish’. Now I know that it wasn’t on me to meet his needs and wants because the only person who is responsible for that is you. He expected me to make him happy, to cheer him up when he was sad and to always think of him before me.If anyone says that its your responsibility to make them happy, to help them get out of debt, to boost their career whatever the answer is no. It’s on us as self reliant adults to do the work! I came to this place after doing my own personal development and working with mentors such as a life coach. So this leads me into my first point on how to make self love your priority… Personal Development always Most of us may finish school or university and then we stop working on ourselves. Always strive to keep learning and growing as what this podcast is all about ‘don’t just go through life, grow through it’. It usually takes a huge life event for us to pause and reflect. A death. A break up. A break down. Imagine we took the time to check in with ourselves daily. We would know ourselves much better.There are so many ways to work on your self growth and development.The fact that you are listening to this podcast is one so kudos to you – well done beautiful soul!Podcasts are a great way to soak in knowledge and can easily be done on the go.Reflecting is also key and I love doing that through daily journaling. There's only so much free stuff you can consume... As I’ve said before there is a limit to the free stuff you consume whether it’s podcasts, Instagram posts, YouTube videos and books. If you’re serious about working on yourself and investing in yourself DM me on Instagram as I would love to chat about 1:1 coaching. Some of my clients literally come to me saying I’ve watched all the videos and I still feel stuck and the same, the reason is because it’s generalised advice. I offer general tips and strategies here through my podcast and on Instagram but it’s through my 1:1 coaching I get to you know you personally and your life experiences so that I can help you get out of your own way, to identify your limiting self believes and crush them so you can become clear and confident so that no matter what happens in your life, you know you will be able to handle it! 2021 is the year to make it happen, so stop waiting and listen to the pull you feel inside – you won’t regret it. You O' Clock I coined this term because it’s something I believe in passionately. We live such crazy lives, we have so much going on. Your morning sets your tone. Most of us before we even roll out of bed, reach for our phones and scroll. Perhaps scrolling through your work emails to make sure you didn’t miss anything or getting your fix of social media. Maybe you have to do something for your kids or partner.The best thing to do to start your day is have ‘you o clock’ whether it’s 5 minutes or an hour to yourself. You make time for yourself before anyone else. That way you won’t be resentful to anything else because you own yourself and you start the day for yourself. Some days for me this looks like waking up early, watching the sun rise and going for a swim. Other days it’s simply getting up and spending 2 minutes gently stretching. Be Your Own Priority - Have 'Me' Time Now time for yourself is not just for the start of the day. It’s an everyday thing and not just one moment. If you don’t make yourself your own priority who will? It’s not your family, friends or partners job. They don’t live just for you. When we don’t make time for ourselves we become sloppy and feel sorry for ourselves.We burn out from the stress of our lives. We eat too much. We drink too much. We don’t exercise. We don’t work on ourselves at all mentally, physically or emotionally. To make self love a priority in your life is to make time for yourself.Your ‘me’ time is just like any other important meeting whether it’s a doctor’s appointment or a dinner date. It’s solid time blocked off just for you and to ensure your mind rewires to understand how important your me time is – block out time in your calendar, make it in your calendar with a reminder and make sure you see it on the to do list. I love to make ‘me’ time super indulgent in the sense I don’t think about anyone else and I can go into my own world. Some nights maybe I’ll have a block of chocolate and really savour the flavour and other times I treat myself to Uber Eats and a wine. I love to have ‘me’ time after working so I can have some downtime and feel good to prevent burn out which as happened to me a few times before. Shed the guilt! I will say it again! There is nothing wrong with loving yourself and putting yourself first. Don’t forget that putting yourself first isn’t selfish, it is necessary.Don’t feel guilty. Life can be a rollercoaster of emotions and the last thing you need is to make yourself feel worse by guilting yourself. It isn’t necessary! Why do we take better care of others but not ourselves?Put on your own life vest and air supply before you help the people around you. Your health and wellbeing doesn’t come at the expense of others. You aren’t required to help others at the expense of yourself.Guilt free living is truly being comfortable with yourself and living in acceptance. Acceptance of who you are and where you are in life. You can only control certain things, you can’t control everything. It is to be at peace with your decisions and being in the present moment. Anything that costs your inner peace including guilt is too expensive. Ensure you have solid boundaries Boundaries are an act of self love and function of self respect. Boundaries exist to respect yourself, they aren’t there to hurt or offend other people. If something doesn’t feel right, our to alignment or wrong it’s an alert and warning to your boundaries. Pay attention to your boundaries, don’t override them and dismiss them. Boundaries are trusting your gut and soul over your fears and triggers.Boundaries are where we draw the line when it comes to acceptable and unacceptable behaviour in regards to how people behave around you and treat you.Having boundaries are non negotiable, you enforce boundaries consistently to show what you will and will not put up with. Even if this means losing someone in your life no matter how much your heart and libidio want otherwise. Figure out your boundaries and put those babies up! Struggling with boundaries? Without boundaries you will likely have a low self esteem, feel drained, feel heartbroken and disappointed with yourself.If you’re having trouble don’t be too hard on yourself, we aren’t born with boundaries, we learn to develop them initially through the caregivers in our lives like our parents and as adults we learn to fully develop our own boundaries and set them.If you’re struggling I feel you, I used to as well as my clients. I would love to help you, send me a DM on Instagram and let’s chat about working out what your boundaries are, the problems popping up and chat about 1:1 coaching. Listen to your intuition As a life coach I am the first to be like watch your thoughts and do the thought work. However it is also so important to tune in with your heart, your soul, your body. Often that inner voice of yours will reside in your heart or in your stomach.It’s been something I have been working on with clients to strengthen that inner voice who will always have your best interests at heart. The inner voice as been a part of sessions to help a client with business decisions, relationships and when a client feels lost and unsure which direction to go in.We are guilty of ignoring gut feelings (which are guardian angels of your intuition, your inner voice) or we push the limits when we are exhausted leading to a lack of sleep, headaches or maybe overdoing it at the gym. This is very much tied into my previous point on ensuring you have boundaries.We live in a society that values the head but has forgotten about the heart, I think it is a balance of both. If you stop listening to your intuition it’s strength fades, although never disappears. It’s such an important muscle to build and tune into it for it is your biggest ally. Ask for help when you need it You are not weak for needing help, in fact you are so strong for doing so. The most successful people in the world have a team of helpers.I think about celebrities. It takes a team of people to help them to where they are and to look so flawless all the time.Someone to help do their makeup.Someone to help book their jobs.Someone to help raise their children.Someone to do their hair.Someone to do their makeup.It goes on and applies in the business world. Someone to do their expenses. Someone to book their appointments. Someone to reply to emails. Someone to research potential clients. Someone to sell.Success happens with help. Even the most successful people turn to life coaches, psychologists and mentors. Who is in your team of help? Be honest with yourself Acknowledge when you are at your limits. Acknowledge when you are struggling with something.Acknowledge when you are hiding behind the same stories and limiting beliefs.Sometimes we get so used to labelling ourselves a certain way we fail to realise the label we attach to ourselves is not even true.Honesty goes a long way with the self especially self trust.At times we are dishonest to protect ourselves but in the end it will suppress and stifle who you truly are at the cost of self denial which leads to shame, a toxic place.When we truly deeply and unconditionally love ourselves we are living with true authenticity. We are free from deceit and secrecy. We live with soul, with compassion, we are whole.Start with being honest to yourself in your head and heart. Seek to do shadow work which can be confronting. Seek to work on your wounds and trauma. Be kind and gentle with yourself. The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 14: How To Make Self Love A Priority Close Those are some of my tips on how to make self love a priority for yourself. As I’ve said throughout this episode self love doesn’t come naturally. If you are looking to learn how to love yourself truly, not just say it or assume that a self care sunday makes you love yourself then please get in touch and let’s chat. I would love to help you. I will chat to you again next Tuesday beautiful, for the third part of the love series focusing on the energetics of love and self love. Love and positivity. I’ve helped clients heal from heartbreak, move on from ex’s, during the dating progress providing support along the way (if you didn’t know, my 1:1 clients also get text support from me between sessions which is so valuable being able to ask me anything from how do I reply to this text message or how do I work on my feelings of jealousy and insecurity). I’ve even had clients call in love through new relationships. So if you’re hearing the call for coaching, please get in touch and let’s make 2021 your biggest year yet for love. Next week’s episode will be about self love and I’m really excited to speak to that! Speak to you next Tuesday beautiful soul. Love and Positivity. [Episode 14 – How To Make Self Love A Priority Outro] Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon. The post 14: How To Make Self Love A Priority appeared first on Phi Dang, Clarity Confidence Life Coach Sydney.
15 minutes | Feb 1, 2021
13: The Mindset of Love
Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 13: The Mindset of Love This is this first part of four of the brand new LVE SERIES. We kickstart the series with mindset. Your love mindset. Your mindset impacts every part of your love life. In this podcast I share 7 mind blowing shifts you can to increase the love in your life. What you'll learn from this episode What is the mindset of love?How your mindset impacts love7 mind blowing shifts for a love mindset Key Quotes from this Episode Love exists in so many forms, people are so quick to jump to the thought of a relationship with someone outside of themselves but really love starts with you. Phi Dang Love and pain exist in the same place within your heart. So when you shut down to pain and fear, you also shut down to love. Phi Dang If you don’t understand that love is infinite you will always believe you need others to others to be the source of love. Phi Dang Featured Resources on the episode Learn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.Follow Phi on Instagram here.Episode 12: Understanding Your Negative EmotionsLearn more about Phi’s love for cold water here – she attended the World’s First Women’s Wim Hof Retreat The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 13: The Mindset of Love You are listening to Episode 13 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: The Mindset of Love[Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]: Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.Ready to grow? Let’s grow![Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro][Episode 13 – The Mindset of Love Begins]Hello beautiful soul and welcome to February oooh la la the month of love!So you know how in last week’s episode I scratched my original idea on your brain is a liar and felt called to speak about understanding your negative emotions… well it’s happened again because February is all about love. For the last few weeks I’ve been in a draining and limiting energy, feeling pressured by needing to this and feeling like I should do that but this? This has shifted the energy. Love has transcended the energy. Love has triumphed. Love! I want to do this!It’s been a shift in gears to drop out of my head and into my body. Feel deeply into my heart through a lot of embodiment work and movement (I’m loving gentle stretches at the moment and of course cold swims – you feel so alive – cool, refreshing – seriously the colder the better). [Note: Read more about my Wim Hof cold experience where I attended the World’s First Women’s Wim Hof Retreat in the world!]I’m tapping into my feminine energy – the emotive, the fluid and leaning into my heart, to what feels right. Listening to my body’s signals, reconnecting with my intuition and I felt called upon to do this new Love Series which you may have seen launch yesterday on my Instagram @thephidang. So what is the LVE SERIES? It’s all about love.Love exists in so many forms, people are so quick to jump to the thought of a relationship with someone outside of themselves but really love starts with you. Loving yourself is love. Loving your pet is love. Loving your family is love. Loving your friends is love. Loving your job is love. Loving the ocean is love. Love is everywhere. Love is infinite, love is abundant. Love is your trust nature, the essence of who you are.Love is the most beautiful expansive energy, it’s connection, it’s wholeness, it’s light, it’s happiness.Love feels like floating in the sky. Love feels warm in your heart. Love transcends time and space. Love is one of the highest frequencies you can vibrate in. So why the LVE SERIES? Valentine’s Day is around the corner which has many of us thinking about love. Reflecting upon love whether you are single or in a relationship. For 8 years of my life, I was single. I remember struggling and wishing I had someone to talk to (which I eventually did – my first life coach was a dating coach fun fact. Thank you V – you changed my life!). I remember feeling alone, even though I wasn’t. I can assure you also as a coach I have heard many client experiences and so many overlap. Most of us have been there. Hating yourself and trying to convince yourself that you do love yourself. Experiencing heartbreak. Feeling numb, cold and closed off. Wanting a relationship so badly. Trying to change ourselves for someone. Feeling jealous and insecure. Unrequited love. Wanting to go back to an ex. Getting back with an ex. Being with someone who is just so wrong for you but it feels so good (sometimes!). Wanting to define the relationship. Being in a situationship. Friends with benefits but you want more, dealing with cheating … The love list goes on.The Love Series exists so I can share with you how to approach love through the key pillars of 1:1 coaching: mindset, self love, energy and purpose. To help you feel more love in your life by removing and melting obstacles in your way. To shed your pain and fears. That’s why the love series exists. LVE SERIES Competition - Win a 75 minute 1:1 coaching intensive I’m so excited for you to join me over the next 4 weeks as I discuss all things love here on the podcast and on my Instagram @thephidang daily in the feed and stories. Announcing here first, to celebrate the launch of the LVE SERIES, I am giving away 3 x 75 minute 1:1 coaching intensives with me worth $320 each. Everyone who writes one I will also personally write you a love letter to thank you! It would mean so much to me and I really appreciate it.All you have to do is leave a review in Apple Podcasts during this month February 2021 you will go into the random draw to win. Screenshot your review and DM it to me @thephidang or send it to my email firstname.lastname@example.org. The competition closes 1st of March 2021 [Australian Eastern Standard Time]. Good luck beautiful souls! The Love Mindset Be love. Do love. Every time you do something out of love, it raises the vibration of the entire universe. Return home to love because love is the essence of your being.Be the person you want to be with.True, pure love is unencumbered from wanting something in return or having love with conditions.If you are familiar with the bible, a Corinthians verse encapsulates love beautifully. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. What a beautiful description of what love is.Such as a beautiful selflessness, it’s just so much love brimming and flowing from out of you.It’s such a natural high.Love is without ego. Love is just pure love, it’s always in the best interest, you know – out of love. Love is a journey, it won't always be smooth I heard this very cheesy corny line but really it’s true: "Love is a journey starting at forever and ending at never.” Unknown Really it’s true though (it is corny!)Whether you are single or in a relationship, love is a life long journey.Even in love, there is always more love to give beyond a partner.When single, love is the journey of self discovery and dating.In this journey, it is inevitable to experience heart ache but see it as this.See rejection and heartbreak as redirection. Enjoy the journey and you’ll always be in love. Stop searching for love outside of yourself only Classic movies and fairytales have led us astray when it comes to love. It’s set up unrealistic expectations about love.Prince Charming will rescue you.When you are in love everything will be better. You will be happier.You need someone to complete you.Love happens at a young age.When you look for love outside of you it will always be out of control and you will always see yourself as a victim. At the mercy of outside external influences.Choose to see the other lessons in these tales.Be true to yourself (Ariel in the Little Mermaid).Give your relationship room to grow (Beauty and the Beast).Honesty is the best policy (Mulan).Don’t forget about your friends (Snow White).The past is in the past. Let it Go (Frozen).As you can see I am a massive fan of Disney and it’s so lovely to rewatch the movies as an adult. To see the different lessons you can notice compared to when you were a kid, you just pick up on so much more. You have to let love in When your heart is closed because you are scared, because you don’t think you are worthy, because you are protecting yourself, you are closing the door to love. Love cannot enter your heart to heal, to restore, to strengthen. Love and pain exist in the same place within your heart. So when you shut down to pain and fear, you also shut down to love. Believe you are worthy of love Seriously because you are. The biggest block I see with clients is a deep subconscious belief that for some reason they are not good enough or not worthy of love. Love is your birth right. You do not have to do anything to be loveable or worthy of love. The analogy I like to use is that of babies. When babies are born, we immediately love them. We don’t not love them because they can’t do anything or because they cry and can’t control when they go to the bathroom. We just love them.They don’t need to do anything to be lovable. You were a baby once, therefore you are already lovable. You don’t have to be a ‘good’ girl or boy, to follow the rules. You don’t have to do a certain job, look a certain way, be a certain weight. You don’t have to be perfect.If you aren’t there yet, start asking yourself: If I truly believed I was worthy of love, the love I want, what would I do? How would I act? Would I accept this behaviour? Phi Dang Infinite love exists There seems to be a limiting belief amongst many that love is limited. That it is finite. To that, I want to share with you a Chinese Proverb with you. “Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Love never decreases by being shared.” Chinese Proverb Such a beautiful analogy.Love is not scarce for love is abundant.An abundant love mindset reminds you that there is not only someone else out there but multiple people out there when you are heartbroken.An abundant love mindset reminds you that when it seems like everyone else is coupled up, there are so many out there for you – you just haven’t met them yet.An abundant love mindset reminds you not to settle and to expect the best when it comes to love.An abundant love mindset doesn’t care how many dates it has to go on, it knows every date is one step closer to the one.An abundant love mindset feels whole, full, brimming with love to share.If you don’t understand that love is infinite you will always believe you need others to others to be the source of love. You get to choose love, you don’t have to wait for it to choose you In each and every moment, you can choose love. You can choose love after your heart breaks and you open up again. You start dating again. You let down your walls. In your vulnerability, you choose love. In your hope, you choose love. In your second love, you choose love.You can choose love over fear. You choose love when you take the leap of faith. You choose love in believing there is more than one person out there for you. That no two loves will ever be the same but there is so much abundance with love. You may not have even experienced the depths of love. That a love exists out there beyond your comprehension and dreams.You can choose love over hate. You choose love when you decide to not seek revenge. You choose love when you forgive. You choose love when you let go. You choose love when you see the positivity. You choose love when you speak out. You choose love in the little things.Love is in the small things. Making dinner. Asking how their day was. Listening. Falling asleep together. Sunday morning. Forehead Kisses. Coffee and Pancakes. The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 13: The Mindset of Love Close Ah my heart is seriously filled with so much joy from today’s episode. If you’re feeling called to work on your love mindset, please DM me on Instagram @thephidang as I can help you and would love to. I’ve helped clients heal from heartbreak, move on from ex’s, during the dating progress providing support along the way (if you didn’t know, my 1:1 clients also get text support from me between sessions which is so valuable being able to ask me anything from how do I reply to this text message or how do I work on my feelings of jealousy and insecurity). I’ve even had clients call in love through new relationships. So if you’re hearing the call for coaching, please get in touch and let’s make 2021 your biggest year yet for love.Next week’s episode will be about self love and I’m really excited to speak to that! Speak to you next Tuesday beautiful soul. Love and Positivity. The post 13: The Mindset of Love appeared first on Phi Dang, Clarity Confidence Life Coach Sydney.
18 minutes | Jan 25, 2021
12: Understanding Your Negative Emotions
Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 12: Understanding Your Negative Emotions This episode gets real on negative emotions despite society where we avoid negativity and put up a front of positivity always. Learn about why you have negative emotions and how you create negativity in your mind. We also delve into practical tips and strategies on how to be less negative. What you'll learn from this episode Why we feel negative emotionsHow you create negativity in your mindThe role and impact of attention and focus on negativityAn instant life hack on being less negativeHow a simple shift in mindset can change your perspective on negativity Key Quotes from this Episode Now when you understand that your thoughts determine your reality, you can understand how to make yourself feel certain emotions, you can generate how you want to feel. Phi Dang Energy flows where focus goes. Phi Dang You can focus on emotions you don’t want or focus on emotions you do want. Phi Dang Featured Resources on the episode Learn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.Follow Phi on Instagram here.Episode 10 of the Grow Through It Podcast, How to be a Warrior Not Worrier.Episode 5 of the Grow Through It Podcast, River of MiseryEpisode 3 of the Grow Through It Podcast, Beyond the Law of Attraction, The 12 Universal Laws The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 12: Understanding Your Negative Emotions You are listening to Episode 12 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: Understanding Your Negative Emotions.[Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]: Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang. My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.” My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything. Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose. This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life. Ready to grow? Let’s grow! [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro] [Episode 12 – Understanding Your Negative Emotions Begins] Hi Beautiful Soul, so glad you’re here. I want to start this episode with flagging I’m recording in a new location for the podcast so there may be a little background noise a car and bird chip here or there but I didn’t want that to stop me from recording and releasing a new podcast for you. Genuinely I usually record in a my clothes wardrobe nook but I’ve been barred from that because my boyfriend is currently ill and so I’m in the office recording it. A wardrobe nook – yes it’s actually the best place to record because it keeps all the sound insular and all my clothes muffles background noise. A sneak peak into life now – I love it because one day I know I’ll have my own pro podcasting room in the future – it’s on my manifestation list. How are you doing today? Really how are you doing? I have something to confess I had a whole other episode scripted and ready to go but an immense wave of grief hit me. It was as to no surprise for it was my dad’s birthday the other day, he would have been in his late sixties. It was such a wave of grief that I truly struggled, I felt very low and I have to say every day I cried. Now? I feel okay. I’m good and it’s because through self development and having a coach myself I have learnt to navigate negative emotions. To add to this, this time, last year, whilst I also cried I didn’t feel as low, I was feeling quite upbeat and positive. And that’s emotions for you. They are waves, they’ll always go up and down, some will be high and low, other times still and flat. One thing is for sure, in life you will always be navigating emotions and negativity more often than not given our brain is negatively biased to protect us. Getting real on social media - the truth about positivity As a life coach and as someone with a large community of over 10,000 followers on Instagram – I have made a commitment to myself, my clients and community to always be honest and true. That is to not pretend on social media and in real life that life is all sunshine, rainbows and unicorns because it’s not.On social media there is a facade of perfection we put up highly stylised images, we always look happy, in fact we curate so much of it. What images we select, how we portray ourselves and somewhere along the line some of us have believed that it’s real.Always happy, always camera ready, always positive. I stand for positivity, authenticity and integrity. To be true. To show you when I feel the lows – what it’s really like and it is sometimes a chaotic mess, a roller coaster. Even as someone is known as the Positivity Queen, I still feel negative sometimes because I am human and positivity doesn’t exclude negativity exclusively. I’ll repeat that again because that’s an important distinction: positivity doesn’t exclude negativity. They require each other. More on that later. There’s a misconception as a life coach that all we preach is being happy and positive all the time however that’s not the case. As a life coach I teach my clients to feel the full spectrum of their emotions and practical tools and strategies to understand and navigate their emotions.Let it also be known even when you learn tools and strategies, how your mind works though brain based coaching there will still be times you feel negative.I have talked to people and have clients who you would think have perfect lives on the outside but on the inside it’s a different reality. Don’t let appearances or social media fool you. Social media along with the media in general – TV shows, movies, radio has somehow led us all to believe that we are always so happy farting rainbows and glitter or that sadness is glamourised in this aching, cool way.I want to talk about what other people don’t talk about or are scared to and that is negative emotions because we all go through it.So let’s get real on negative emotions on understanding them and owning them. Negativity by default When I first start working with clients, a lot of the time they think they are just negative by default which is true. Yes. Humans have a negative bias which is evolutionary to keep us safe, being negative compelled us into instant action in an immediate return environment. Rustle in the bushes defaults to dangerous animal, take instant action flee which means you are safe. Interpret the rustle as just wind meant no action meant potential of death if that was in fact a dangerous animal.For more on this concept, listen to Episode 10 of the Podcast, How to be a Warrior Not Worrier. How you create negativity is through your thoughts Now acknowledging we have a negative bias, we create our own negativity through our thoughts.The world is nothing but neutral circumstances, it is our thinking that determines our feelings of positivity or negativity.For example, rain on a weekend is a natural circumstance. Your thinking would determine if that’s a positive or negative, on person may jump to a negative because they can no longer have a picnic outside whereas someone else sees it as a positive – they don’t have to water the plans outside.So bring awareness and to attention to your thoughts. How do they create your reality?Negativity isn’t only created by overt thoughts in your mind, negativity creeps in through subtle ways.Judging others. Criticising others. Shaming. Jumping to conclusions…“That won’t work for me”“I can’t do that”“I don’t like”“I’m too tired”“It’s too hard” “I’ve never been able to”And of course the number 1 way negativity builds in to your life: Complaining.Try cutting out complaining for one whole day and see how you feel.Now when you understand that Your thoughts determine your reality, you can understand how to make yourself feel certain emotions, you can generate how you want to feel.Is it easy? No. Is it possible, yes. The impact of attention and focus on negativity Energy flows where focus goes. Simply put, focus on the negative and you have a negative mindset. Focus on the positive and you have a positive mindset.You can focus on the fact how much you hate mint ice cream or focus on how much you love honeycomb. You can focus on everything that’s going wrong in your life or focus on everything that is going right in your life.You can focus on emotions you don’t want or focus on emotions you do want.Don’t just focus on what you want, find what you want.Find something everyday to be positive about.Have an open mind, allow yourself to feel positive. Look at kids, they are always so open and get ridiculously happy and excited about what we consider the small things: sand, waves, puppies, butterflies, being outside… Why it's hard not to be negative For many it’s easy to be negative – to criticise, to dismiss, to be skeptical. It’s harder to consciously and intentionally to do the work to be positive – to acknowledge the good, to purposely change your thoughts. Thinking on purpose requires relentless consistency and it can be exhausting. You have to catch yourself having the thoughts and not only decide to change but to do the work to make the change happen.It’s like what Socrates says “the secret to change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but building the new.”It doesn’t help that your brain is also lazy but it’s understandable it takes up so much energy on a subconscious level you don’t even realise. The brain is pumping your blood around your body, breathing automatically, blinking automatically… it can’t help but be a bit lazy and want to do things efficiently.It’s easier for your brain to give into the negativity, to wallow even though it knows if it does the work it can be more positive. The thoughts you’ve been thinking repeatedly are so comfortable and easy like taking the same route to work everyday vs trying a new one which many cut down minutes off your commute but that involves energy, effort and time upfront. Thought work on negativity https://phidang.com/05-river-of-misery/You can even get caught in a place where you catch your thoughts, you intellectually understand you are having a negative thought but you feel stuck because you feel like you can’t change it. That’s the real catch you can. You only can’t at this moment because you believe the thought, that because you thought it, it must be real and you aren’t open to other possibilities such as the thought isn’t true or that the thought isn’t a fact or maybe even that you are wrong (oh hello ego!). More on this on Episode 5, River of Misery. All of the thought work it takes to overcome negativity requires tiny leaps of faith. To be willing to feel your emotions and realise it won’t kill you and that you could be wrong. To be willing to do the work knowing it feels terrible right now but will become easier and second nature like working out. Lifting the weights feels impossible and heavy at first, but over time with consistent practice, it becomes effortless until it’s time to reach the next level. Negativity isn't all bad, negativity serves a purpose https://phidang.com/03-beyond-the-law-of-attraction-the-12-universal-laws/I’ll let you ponder on that for a moment whilst I state the fact that negativity itself isn’t all bad, in fact it serves a purpose.Positivity doesn’t exist without negativity.Light doesn’t exist without dark.It’s Ying and Yang, the law of correspondence (more on that on Episode 3 Beyond the Law of Attraction, the 12 Universal Laws).How would we know happiness without sadness?What would life be to you if you were only happy all the time?Negativity raises our self awareness and like our cave man ancestors it drives us to take action.If we feel unhappy it forces us to look at our lives, to see what we want and don’t want, to drive us to create an intentional life where we are being our must truest and authentic selves. Resisting negativity makes life harder and more negative Negativity has become a huge force that messes with our minds nowadays because we cocoon ourselves in double negativity.We make it more negative by resisting.I’m not meant to feel negative.I can’t feel negative.I shouldn’t feel negative.These negative thoughts mean there’s something wrong with me.Think about if if you are already feeling negative and then judge yourself on being negative, you are in a double negative situation.It’s unnecessary for you to beat yourself up about feeling negative because it doesn’t help.In fact the more you resist, the more it persists. I think about waves. Imagine how much harder it is to swim against the current and tide as opposed to just going along with it and seeing where it takes you.How does it feel to resist as opposed to allow.Allow feels much nicer for me, much calmer. My mind is at peace. The energy is completely different. Most of us don’t allow our emotions, we don’t feel it the full way through so it’s weird sometimes we don’t actually know how it fully feels. We resist which creates suffering, we get scared of the suffering, we future predict all the discomfort we will feel and we resist.Instead of resisting and wanting yourself to be positive, can you find the neutral ground? Neutralising negativity, the first step to being less negative For example if you think you’re not good enough, it takes a huge leap to suddenly say I am the most amazing person but it’s much easier to have a neutral thought like “I don’t feel good enough right now and that’s okay. I am human”.That thought is more neutral, there is acceptance in there and the thought opens up possibilities to the fact hey maybe I’m not good enough isn’t true. It’s like on a scale going from a -5 to a -3, that in itself is progress. Try it! It’s like an instant life hack, allow the thought, drop the I should feel this instead or I shouldn’t feel this or it should be different and the edge of suffering melts away. Allowing over resisting.If there was a free voucher for bungee jumping it’s much easier for someone who loves heights and adrenaline to take it up then someone who is terrified of heights.Allowing over resisting. Allowing is tolerating. Yes there may still be slight discomfort like an ache or headache but that’s okay. It won’t kill you. You will live, you can go on with life. Negativity can become automatic That’s the funny thing about our minds. It automatically jumps to the conclusion and equates negativity with suffering.It makes sense.If every time you ate carrot cake and felt sick, your mind equates carrot cake to making you have a bad reaction, that’s your only experience at current. This is the same with feeling negativity automatically makes you suffer.However imagine we found out that it was the flour making you sick and replace it with gluten free flour. At first your mind will still be like no i’m not eating the carrot cake, every time I do it makes me sick. It’s understandable because your mind has never had the experience that carrot cake won’t make you sick. Your brain panics and resists the new carrot cake.It takes a little tiny leap of faith knowing that this new cake won’t because it has gluten free flour. Once you do you realise oh I don’t feel sick and it’s okay.That’s the same with allowing yourself to feel your negative emotions. You think it will be awful but in reality its okay. It’s uncomfortable, it’s hard but you are capable. You can feel hard things. Approaching negativity with curiosity To make this process easier, shift your mindset from one of judgement of yourself for the emotions you have to curiosity.Sit with the emotions, welcome them, get curious to see what emotions mean.What are they telling you about what is going on in your life?How can you see your emotions as an ally not a foe?How can you learn and grow from the current emotions at present? The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 12: Understanding Your Negative Emotions If it’s one thing you practice from this podcast is to try allowing over resisting.If you’re listening along and thinking “I’m so sick of having negative thoughts on repeat all the time”Do you identify yourself as a negative person and feel stuck and helpless, as if you will be negative for the rest of your life?Do you want to wake up feeling confident and assured that no matter what happens you will be able to handle it?If you are, let’s chat visit my website phidang.com or DM me on Instagram @thephidang because I can help.I’ve gone from the depths of anxiety, depression and grief to someone who is able to navigate the hardest of emotions from the grief of losing my dad at the age of 20 and experiencing life in negativity and being numb and emotionless.I can teach you how to rewire your brain for positivity as I do with my clients. I’ve only got 3, 1:1 coaching spots left so get in touch with me now. Enjoy your day beautiful soul, next week’s episode will be the one I actually scripted for this week “Your Brain is a Liar”. It’s an eye opening episode where you realise how often your brain lies to you… Speak to you next Tuesday. Love and positivity.[Episode 12 – Understanding Your Negative Emotions]Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon. The post 12: Understanding Your Negative Emotions appeared first on Phi Dang, Clarity Confidence Life Coach Sydney.
12 minutes | Jan 18, 2021
11: Bringing Awareness To Your Inner Child
Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 11: Bringing Awareness To Your Inner Child This episode brings to your attention your inner child – the most innocent and pure essence of who you are. We delve into why the way you are today and how an inner child can be wounded. The episode also discusses your personal responsibility to work on and heal your inner child. What you'll learn from this episode How the inner child impacts your life now as an adultWhat is the inner childWays an inner child becomes wounded Key Quotes from this Episode The cry we hear from deep in our hearts comes from the wounded child within. Thich Nhat Hanh Whilst you can’t change your genetics or the past, you have the power to change now. Phi Dang Doing work on your inner child is coming home to you. Phi Dang Featured Resources on the episode Learn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.Follow Phi on Instagram here.Carl Jung & Primordial ImagesThich Nhat Hanh The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 11: Bringing Awareness To Your Inner Child You are listening to episode 11 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: Bringing Awareness To Your Inner Child.[Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]: Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.Ready to grow? Let’s grow![Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro][Episode 11 – Bringing Awareness To Your Inner Child Begins]Hello beautiful soul, I’m so excited to bring to you another episode of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang. Today’s episode requires going back in time. Back in time to when you were a child.Bet you hadn’t thought about that in a while right? How long ago was that for you?It’s interesting as adults we hardly revisit or think about ourselves as a child. By child – the full spectrum from the early years of our life to when we hit puberty to when we become an independent adult.Psychologically so much of who we are has been shaped by these early years of life.What’s prompted this episode is the work I’ve been doing with a few of my clients.We are exploring how the inner child can impact who we are today.It shows up in relationships – our fears and what keeps us from being open and vulnerable. For my clients its manifested in feeling like you need someone to complete you, to save you, that everything in your life will be instantly better when you are in a relationship. It shows up in anger and resenting a partner for not meeting your needs, feeling the need to be the caretaker or parent of your partner and being scared of rejection and abandonment.It shows up in our belief systems – a client recalls how her parents migrating to Australia have shaped her view of what it means to have a job, career particularly as a woman. Another on how it’s shaped the way she sees money, how hard it can be to make money, how money always feels scarce even when it’s not. Fears around investing money and spending money. What is the inner child? What does inner child mean? The term inner child is an archetype that stems from famous psychologist Carl Jung. He rejected the idea that we come into this world with a blank slate and have a ‘predestined primordial image’ derived from the collective unconscious.Nowadays when it comes to the inner child, it refers to the unconscious sub-personality in our early years of life. This inner child develops from the world around us. At young ages we are like sponges soaking in everything especially based on our parents or caregivers. The absence of this also shapes how we develop.When we want to understand ourselves deeper, to understand why we are the way we are by default, to understand our triggers that unleash that ‘child like’ behaviour e.g. tantrums, running away, hiding – we must reconnect with our inner child.The inner child is the essence of who you are. Your inner child is so pure and innocent. You only have to look at a child to understand why.Children have so much joy, they beam, they smile, laugh and play.They are fearless, they go into the world with such an openness – to experience the world, to have adventures, to unleash their creativity. They are so open, honest and curious. A child is a true free spirit.Children fully express themselves whether its joy, anger or sadness. They feel deeply and are sensitive. They crave affection, attention, connection, love and safety. Our inner child is vulnerable. Children depend on others to ensure their survival. Children look to others to understand the world and how to behave – what to do, what not to do. As children we are malleable to outside forces. Inner Child Wounding Sometimes and the majority of us will experience our inner child being wounded. Our wounded inner child is the part or parts of us that feels ashamed, left behind, neglected, unseen, abused, the something I can’t quite pick is wrong with me.Global spiritual leader Thich Nhat Hanh encapsulates the wound energy well,“The cry we hear from deep in our hearts comes from the wounded child within.”Common occurrences that cause wounds include but are not limited to:You were taught it’s not okay to have your own opinionsBeing told you need to make your parents happyYou got punished for speaking up or acting of your own free will and accordBeing told that sex is bad and sinfulYou were taught not to show emotions, to keep things to yourselfHaving fun and playing were discouragedBeing shamed, criticised and punishedFeeling responsible, having to grow up quicker to be an adult to care for your parents or siblingsHaving affection withheld such as hugs, kisses, cuddles, compliments, support, engagementThe neglect which causes wounds to the inner child stems from parents and caregivers when they:Invalidating your emotions – you can’t feel that, you shouldn’t feel that leading to self doubtUnreasonably high expectations and always comparing you to other children leading to always comparing yourself to others and jealousyNot having your physical needs met of safety and nourishment. It doesn’t just mean not having food and water, it encompasses forms of abuse which lead to low self esteem, eating disorders, self harm, addictions, violence and sexual dysfunction.Not meeting needs of support, respect and love can lead to low self worth, repression of emotions, ignoring your own needs, depression, anxiety, fear of intimacyPsychological neglect through name calling, insults, yelling, gaslighting, threatening causing deep seated feelings of anger, trouble having a healthy relationship, difficulty with self love and loving to name a few How your parents or caregivers influence and impact your inner child Now yes it is highly shaped by your parents or whoever took care of you. It’s not to say to blame and get angry at your parents but more to bring awareness and understanding to who you are and your inner child.Most parents have the intention of doing their best to raise their child and children. That does not mean they are perfect, no one is, perfection is impossible. It does not mean they are bad parents, they did the best they could under circumstances. Often parents relive out parenting styles they experienced as child and this passes on from generation to generation.I recently spoke with a client on this and shared with him that whilst to understand why you are they way you are based on your inner child and upbringing is wonderful and a step in the right direction – it’s not okay to remain a ‘child’ to continue blaming your parents. When you continue to hold the blame on your parents, you are returning to the wounded child mindset.You are not entitled to have your parents or anyone fix you. You are responsible for yourself as an adult. Now that you are an adult, a conscious adult, it’s your personal responsibility to do the work and reparent himself. To be the adult you needed as a child. To step up and become the person you want to be. To not just sit back and blame, to stand up and take action.Amongst well intended parents, there are also parents who are absent, parents who were severely underprepared for children, abusive parents, narcissistic parents, controlling parents, parents paralysed by perfection – different types of parents who shape who you are. Healing your inner child is your responsibility No matter what – this holds universally true.That does not determine and set who you are.Whilst you can’t change your genetics or the past, you have the power to change now. You are safe and strong. You can heal your inner child with great love and compassion.As an adult now, to understand who we are and to take action is to learn how to reparent yourself. To be the adult you needed as a child.These wounds charge us into protection mode. We are always looking out for ourselves and danger. Now this will bring out my inner Harry Potter nerd (which I happened to love as a child) – the visual representation I imagine is from the Harry Potter world, particularly in the film Fantastic Beasts embodied by the character Credence played by Ezra Miller. An uncontrollable dark unstable force that attacks then vanishes. It lashes out of repression, it feels ‘dark’ and ‘parasitic’.We put up walls and get defensive behind our armour and masks. We protect instead of connecting. As a child, it is not your fault that you were wounded as a child It’s not your fault that you were wounded as a child.As a child, it was never your fault that you felt unloved.As a child, it was never your fault that you weren’t comfortable in your own skin.As a child, it was never your fault that you weren’t able to fully express yourself.As a child, it was never your fault that you didn’t have a safe environment to grow up in.As a child, it was never your fault that your parents weren’t together or broke up.As a child, it was never your fault that your parents weren’t there for you.As a child, it was never your responsibility to care for, heal or fix your parents. As children we learn what we live. Doing the work on your inner child Doing work on your inner child is coming home to you.All of you.The whole of you.The inner child often hijacks adult relationships. I personally become aware of my inner child from the work I did delving into my dating and relationship patterns and experiences.Understanding why I had an anxious attachment style previously, craving love and looking for it outside of myself – making it someone’s responsibility when really it was mine.This is common. The attachment patterns you formed as a child are often mirrored in your adult relationships too. A secure attachment styles is a result from having a parent who was responsive to your needs and emotionally available.What you need to remember is that when it comes to healing your inner child is that it starts with you and only you.Don’t fall for the Disney fairytale or movie fairytales, this is not Sleeping Beauty. No Prince or Princess Charming is coming to rescue and save you. You are your own hero. The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 11: Bringing Awareness To Your Inner Child Close If you are interested in exploring your inner child in a safe and support space with guidance, if you are interested in learning practical ways to reconnect with your inner child and reparent yourself, please book a complementary session with me on my website phidang.com or via my Instagram @thephidang.This brings a close to episode 11: Bringing Awareness to the Inner Child. I hope you reconnect with your inner child today and explore how your inner child has shaped who you are. I’ll speak to you next Tuesday beautiful soul as usual. Love and Positivity. [Episode 11 – Bringing Awareness To Your Inner Child] Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon. The post 11: Bringing Awareness To Your Inner Child appeared first on Phi Dang, Clarity Confidence Life Coach Sydney.
16 minutes | Jan 11, 2021
10: How to be a Warrior not a Worrier
Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 10: How to be a Warrior not a Worrier Learn the biological and evolutionary reason as to why you worry. Find out what it means to have a warrior mindset in addition to practical ways you can be a warrior not a worrier. What you'll learn from this episode The biological and evolutionary reason why humans worryWhat a warrior mindset meansPractical strategies to be a warrior not a worrier Key Quotes from this Episode Don’t let others or society define it for you, figure out what success is for you. Phi Dang Don’t let others or society define it for you, figure out what success is for you. Phi Dang Don’t let others or society define it for you, figure out what success is for you. Phi Dang Featured Resources on the episode Learn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.Follow Phi on Instagram here.For more on chunking and the 1% method to make your goals achievable – Episode 9 of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: How to Create and Have a Successful 2021Mark Leary – Social and Personality PsychologistHow exercise helps with stress and anxiety. Exercise and stress: Get moving to manage stress – Mayo Clinic. The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 10: How to be a Warrior not a Worrier You are listening to episode 10 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: How to be a Warrior not Worrier.[Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]: Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.Ready to grow? Let’s grow![Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro][Episode 10 – How to Create and Have Success in 2021 Begins]Hello beautiful souls! How are you going today? So happy to have you join me on another episode of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.It’s been a busy start to 2021 for me with all things coaching and I wanted to shout out some of the incredible wins my clients are having.Shout out to M, after one week of coaching we are already seeing huge shifts. When we first spoke, he described feeling numb when it came to dating women and he’s already called in a second date with a lovely lady who’s stirred some feelings within him!Shout out to J, a long time client who I recently reconnected with, he is continuing to work through his journey of his past with his family and past relationships. He’s recently opened up new perspectives after feeling very stuck for the last couple of years.Shout out to another J, a new client who after one session she’s put into practice her insights from our session and made 3 new groups of friends and did a huge social media clean up, the final step of letting go of her recent break up and channeling all of that time and energy to herself and her growth. All amazing wins I am so happy to share!If you are thinking about working with me, I’d love to chat and be shouting out your inevitable wins on the podcast sometime soon too! Details in show notes as usual or you can connect with me on my website phidang.com or instagram @thephidang. On worry in relation to your family and self Today’s episode is titled “How to be a warrior, not a worrier”. I saw this quote online and it really resonated with me. It’s a gem of a quote and shifts your mindset to one of power and confidence – that is something that I am all about. My parents, particularly my mum, used to worry about me and I feel this was exacerbated by the fact that I am an only child.They would worry about life in general – what’s going on in the world, reading newspapers daily and watching the news every night including all weather updates, having enough money to pay bills, being safe from danger (stay away from this, don’t do that) and so forth. The constant worrying was most certainly passed down to myself as a personality trait. I still do worry from time to time but to be honest I don’t really any more as I have full faith and confidence in myself and my capabilities. However rewind time to even 3 or 4 years ago, when I was younger I used to worry a lot.Will he like me? Will I be alone forever? Will anyone want to date me?Will I pass this test? Will I get this job? Will I be stuck in this job forever?Is my outfit okay? Will people notice this on my face?Am I really sick? Will I die? Do I have cancer? Is what I have something that has no cure? If I spend this money, will I get my money’s worth? What if I wasted my money?And the list goes on… in fact sometimes I would end up in worry loops about worry!Am I worrying too much? Worrying doesn’t help and I logically know that so why am I worrying? Is something wrong with me? And then it loops round and round.Are you nodding your head along? Your parents worried a lot? You worry a lot? There’s an actual reason as to why this is. Humans are wired to worry. Worrying is a part of human biology and human evolution. The biological and evolutionary reason why you worry and why humans worry Worrying itself is not a problem, in fact worrying serves a purpose: to keep you safe and process potential threats. Worrying is a problem when it interferes with your life, is acutely intense and lasts longer than it usually does for you. The theories of immediate-return environment and the delayed return environment are used to explain why humans worry. Immediate-return environment Humans used to live in an immediate-return environment, 500 years ago – In reference to time and history, 500 years is relatively recent.Our worries were immediate in nature as cavemen lived a hunter-gatherer lifestyle. Worrying was very useful in the moment as it helped us take action in the moment rather than later for survival. Your stomach grumbles > you feel worried about food > you find food > your worry is relieved.Your mouth feels parched and dry > you haven’t drunk enough water today > you feel worried and dehydrated > you find water > your worry is relievedYou hear a storm brewing > you worry about getting wet and being cold > you find shelter > your worry is relieved.You feel cold > you worry about dying > you light a fire > your worry is relieved.All of the actions you take deliver immediate results, gratification and therefore you lived in the present moment.In fact animals still live in an immediate-return environment. As Duke University professor Mark Leary put it, “A deer may be startled by a loud noise and take off through the forest, but as soon as the threat is gone, the deer immediately calms down and starts grazing. And it doesn’t appear to be tied in knots the way that many people are.” Delayed return environment Nowadays we live in a delayed return environment where our decisions don’t immediately benefit us in in the moment.Some examples for you. When you work, you get paid either fortnightly or monthly. When you work hard, you don’t get promoted immediately, you do after hitting your key performance indicators over time. If you save money now, you’ll have enough for when you retire later in life.When you start exercising and eating healthier foods, you’ll see results over time, you don’t lose weight or get fit immediately. The nature of a delayed return environment results in uncertainty as a great source of worry. There are no guarantees to most things we do and in fact most of the choices we make today won’t immediately benefit us. Going to school and university doesn’t guarantee you’ll get a job.Going on a date doesn’t mean you will meet the one, your soul mate. Investing in stocks, doesn’t guarantee you’ll make returns. Put simply, our brain is not designed to solve the problems of a delayed return environment. Our environment and way of living has changed rapidly, but our brains have not. Our brain hasn’t evolved to live in a delayed return environment.Now you know the biological and evolutionary reason as to why we worry, let’s talk about being a warrior not a worrier. What is the Warrior mindset? Before I share how you can be a warrior, not a warrior, let me set up the stage, what is the warrior persona?A warrior triumphs whereas a worrier cowers. A warrior has the rock solid, unshakable belief in them-self. They know how to handle anything that comes their way. A warrior is brave, they are not afraid of the unknown and even if they are, they put themselves out there. They confront and face their fears. They are not scared of challenges because they know they will rise to the challenge. In fact, warriors embrace all opportunities to grow because they know they have so much to gain. Warriors win massive wars, by focusing on winning one small battle at a time.Now we’ve established the warrior persona, I’m going to share 5 ways how you can be a warrior not a worrier. 5 ways on how to be a Warrior not a Worrier 1. Recognise that behind every emotion including worry, lies a thought. Your emotions are a result of your thoughts. Therefore if you want to change your emotions, you have to change your thoughts. Bring awareness to your thoughts. Consciously choose to accept and run with a thought or reject and deny a thought. Slice through unhelpful thoughts like a warrior with your sword of evidence. Our thoughts are often stories or assumptions we create so question the thought – is there factual evidence to support this thought or am I making something up? 2. Focus on what you can control and accept what you cannot change. I have two great exercises to share with you to help. The first is the dichotomy of control circles.On a piece of paper you draw two circles. The first being what you can control and the second being what you can’t control. No point worrying about what you can’t control because nothing you do will influence it. A super simple exercise.The second exercise I have for you to be a warrior and not a worrier is the circles of control. On a piece of paper draw a giant circle, a circle within that and a small circle within that. All in all it looks like a bullseye.The centre is what you can control – the circle of control. This is all within you that you can directly control such as your thoughts, your behaviour, your attitude, your effort, your energy, your actions and so forth. The circle outside the centre circle is the circle of influence, what you can influence such as your network and relationships. Emphasis on influence – you can’t make or force it. For example you can talk to the people you know and try convince someone, if you’re looking at a promotion you can influence this by building strong relationships with colleagues, putting yourself out there for more projects to take on and so forth. The largest is everything else outside of your control and influence. For example things like a global pandemic like coronavirus, the weather, strangers you don’t know, traffic, the economy, policies, the media and so forth. Onto the third way to be a warrior and not worrier. 3. Be strategic, have a game plan and take action. Always be prepared. Identify what worries you and create a solution to the worry. It’s not enough to just create the game plan, you also have to take action.For example, if you are worried about getting a job, create an actionable plan on how to get a job. Chunk it down so it’s not overwhelming. For example if you want to get a job you need to apply for jobs. In order to apply for jobs you need a cover letter and resume. Start there! When you break it down it’s not so intimidating. Another example is if you are worried you won’t have a partner, create an actionable plan on how to get a partner. In order to have a partner, you need to go on dates. In order to go on dates, you need to meet people. People are candidates for partners. How do you meet people? You can do that by going outside your house or within your home through applications and websites.A game plan also involves having coping strategies for worry such as setting aside time to worry such as 10 minutes then moving on as an example and a support network you can turn to when it becomes all overwhelming.If you need help creating a personalised game plan, strategies to cope and support, let’s chat. I work with clients to create a specific, actionable plan with clear steps that can be measured in order to achieve their goals. Whether that’s getting a promotion, changing jobs, finding a partner, becoming an entrepreneur to make money online – anything is possible. A life coach is all about life! Just to add, not many people know that as part of my coaching, you’ll have access to me Monday to Friday so I can answer any questions or concerns that pop up along your journey to hitting your goals and up levelling your self! 4. Believe in yourself You are an amazing person. You’ve gone through so many hard things, times you didn’t think you would make it yet here you are. This wasn’t by accident or change, this is because of you. You are strong, you are smart, you are capable and you are resilient. You know how to overcome obstacles and challenges.In fact when a worry comes up, repeat this mantra: I am a warrior, not a warrior. 5. Work on your strength I mean strength physically and in your mind.It’s well known that exercise can alleviate anxiety. Exercises alleviates stress, provides a beneficial distraction and boosts your feel good endorphins. The high from accomplishing exercise will fuel you to conquer not only workout but whatever else is on your mind too. Physically you’ll even start to take the form of a warrior by getting super fit.Mentally, to work on your strength is to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Do something small everyday that makes you feel uncomfortable to work on your mental strength such as running for an extra 5 minutes to keep your heart-rate going or try a cold shower! The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 10: How to be a Warrior not a Worrier - Close To wrap it all up there are 5 ways to be a warrior not a worrier. 1. Recognise that behind every emotion including worry, lies a thought. 2. Focus on what you can control and accept what you cannot change. 3. Be strategic, have a game plan and take action.4. Believe in yourself 5. Work on your strength Be a warrior not a worrier! Every warrior has their teacher, so if you’re looking for your teacher, it would be an honour to be your teacher. Thank you so much for joining me today beautiful souls. If you’ve enjoyed listening along, I would appreciate you sharing this with your friends or leaving a review, it would really help me to spread the word on personal development. I’ll catch you next Tuesday with a new episode of the Grow Through It Podcast. Love and Positivity.[Episode 10 – How to Be a Warrior not a Worrier Ends]Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon. The post 10: How to be a Warrior not a Worrier appeared first on Phi Dang, Clarity Confidence Life Coach Sydney.
21 minutes | Jan 4, 2021
09: How to Create and Have Success in 2021
Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 09: How to Create and Have Success in 2021 Learn about the #1 Mistake people make when it comes to success in addition to practical tips and strategies on how to create and have success. I also do a Q&A on all things success from how to stay motivated, being successful during times of uncertainty and a lack of resources such as money when it comes to having success. What you'll learn from this episode The #1 Mistake People Make When it Comes to Creating Change and Success Why Getting Started is Always the Hardest Why There is No Such Thing As Success Without Failure How to Achieve Your Goals and Success Habit Stacking How to Prioritise Your Goals and SuccessHow to Stay Motivated To Hit Your GoalsHow to Achieve Your Goals and Be Successful during Times of UncertaintyHow to Achieve Your Goals and Be Successful without Resources such as Money Key Quotes from this Episode Don’t let others or society define it for you, figure out what success is for you. Phi Dang The outer world is a reflection of your inner world. Phi Dang You can create the reality and results you want. But guess what? You aren’t entitled to that without doing the work. Phi Dang Featured Resources on the episode Learn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.Follow Phi on Instagram here.For more on zero to one and the difficulty of starting anything new, listen to Episode 5 -River of MiseryResearch on how sharing goals makes it more likely to be successful: When goals are known: The effects of audience relative status on goal commitment and performance.Habit Stacking research: Habits—A Repeat Performance by David T. Neal, Wendy Wood, and Jeffrey M. Quinn The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 09: How to Create and Have Success in 2021 - Show Transcript You are listening to episode 9 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: How to Create and Have Success in 2021.[Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]: Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.Ready to grow? Let’s grow![Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro][Episode 09 – How to Create and Have Success in 2021 Begins]Hello beautiful souls.Happy 2021! This is going to be your best year yet, I just know it. If anyone hasn’t told you already, I have full faith in you.I have full faith because you are here, listening to the first episode for 2021 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang. By doing this, you are intentionally setting time aside for you. To work on yourself, to create success for yourself – so congratulations, I’m proud of you! A mindset open to learning and prioritising their self development and growth is always going to be successful.People like you, are the people I love to work with in my 1:1 coaching program. If you are the type of person who loves personal development through books, courses and podcasts and you are ready for the next step, to supercharge and accelerate your growth, let’s chat – I have limited 1:1 coaching spots left for this first quarter of this year as I am so happy to have 3 of you beautiful souls join me last week! Now as you gathered from the title, this podcast is all about creating and having a successful 2021. In this modern day and age, we know that success looks different to everyone, it’s a matter of defining your success. For some it will be money, for others it will be a running a huge marathon.Don’t let others or society define it for you, figure out what success is for you.When we talk success, in this episode its in the framework of achieving your goals because I know goals are at the top of many people’s minds when it come to a new year.Now I also know a lot of other podcasts and all the freebies, motivational speakers and influencers talk about how to create successful goals, for me that’s something that I do with my 1:1 coaching clients as it’s very personal. This podcast will focus more on the journey of achieving goals and your success. So let’s begin. The #1 Mistake People Make When it Comes to Creating Change and Success I want to lay down for you a foundational base for creating success. To do that I want to first of all address the #1 mistake people make when it comes to creating change based on my experience as a life coach with clients from all over the world.People try to change their reality by changing the outside world.This is a thought error.The outside world is just circumstances.Circumstances are neutral.The factor that will truly shift and create change for you is your thoughts. Your thoughts cause your feelings.Your feelings cause your actions.Your actions cause your results.So to truly change anything it begins in your thoughts because your thoughts are in your control.If you don’t agree with my statement, you have work to do. If you don’t understand why, let’s chat because this is the realm I work within as a life coach.Most people go around this world on auto-pilot dangerously in their mind. They believe whatever goes on in their brain and they don’t intentionally choose their thoughts!When you don’t intentionally choose your thoughts, you choose to believe the negativity that goes in on your mind that’s formed over years of subconscious programming.Then you go around life not knowing why you feel bad on a regular basis and you don’t know what to do with those thoughts. The lines become blurry. You don’t know how to change your thought process or how to process your emotions. It’s not a surprise and it’s not your fault. We don’t learn about this at school, at university or even in our jobs.We only truly learn about this when we work on ourselves through personal development, when we invest in a coach.Your thoughts are your inner work.The outer world is a reflection of your inner world.For example if you have a chaotic mind, you’ll find more often than not a messy, disorganised home.If you’re finding it hard to find love, it’s because you don’t truly love yourself.If you’re finding it hard to make money, it’s because you have a scarcity mindset. Trying to change your reality by changing the outside world, is like trying to change white wine to red wine by adding food colouring. If you want actual change, you have to go to the source.If you want the wine to actually change, you have to use a different variety of grapes.If you want your reality to change, you have to fo the source: you, your thoughts. Zero to One In the journey for change and success, the first step is always the hardest.First of all, when you want to do something new, you’re starting at zero.You have no track record or experience.You have no momentum.There’s nothing.More than anything, it takes determination, energy and effort to go from zero to one than it does to get to get from any other steps after that.After that, every step is easier than the first.You can achieve the goals you set.You can create the reality and results you want.But guess what? You aren’t entitled to that without doing the work.You have the do the work.You have to earn your results.Now zero to one is the hardest but don’t let that stop you.You can do hard things.You were made for hard things. There is no such thing as success without failure We cannot discuss success without failure.Guess what, success and failure go hand in hand.You can’t choose whether you will succeed or fail because failure is always going to be a part of success. You can only choose what kind of failure you are going to have.The only real failure in my eyes is to not try at all or to use it as an excuse to quit.Further to this, allow yourself to grow. Give yourself permission to grow.When you plant seeds in the garden, you don’t check every day to see if they have instantly bloomed.You simply water them everyday, clear the weeds and know that in time they will grow.Breathe easy beautiful soul, it will happen – let things unfold as they are meant to. How do you achieve your goals? If anyone tells you there’s a secret to making it happen, there isn’t. There’s no magic formula or button, it truly is just doing the work. It is overwhelming to go from 0 to 100 but it’s much easier to go from 0 to 1 to 2 to 3. The key to success is consistency and knowing that every little bit counts even just 1%. The pain you feel today, becomes the strength of your tomorrow What can you do everyday to get you one step closer to your goal? Think of success like a ladder. To get to the top of the ladder sure you could leap from 0 to 4 rungs or even jump from rung 3 to rung 7 but when you do that, not only is it harder and requires more energy, you may fall in the process of doing so. Consistency on the ladder is going up steadily one rung at a time.. Accountability Further to this, let us sprinkle accountability into the mix.How different is it when you write down a goal in your journal and tell no one vs have a life coach checking in with you weekly asking if you’ve done what you needed to do that week to make your goal happen and post about your goal openly on social media?Very different right?Studies have shown that when you share your goals with others, you are twice as likely to achieve them than if you keep the goals to yourself. When you don’t share your goals in some way, you aren’t truly committed to them. It’s very easy to give up because it’s like they never really existed.Another reason why accountability works is well we are human and we want to save face.Your reputation is on the line to loved ones, to people you know, to strangers on the internet. You want to fulfil the expectations that others have of you. A life coach is worth the investment as there isn’t the strain of telling a loved one or friend. A coach does not judge, scold or blame, your coach is there to support you every step of the way, help you develop strategies to overcome obstacles and help you realise what works for you and what does not.So far everything I’ve discussed cements the fact that success is not an accident.Success is intentional.Habits play deeply into success as they account for about 40 percent of our behaviours on any given day. Let’s pause for a moment to consider this.Almost half of the things you do on any day isn’ a result of conscious decisions but behaviours that you have repeated so many times they have become more or less automatic. You no longer think about them, there’s no mind drama, you just do them.It has been widely said that it takes 21 days to make a habit, so I’m not going to go into this.Rather I want to introduce the concept of habit stacking with you Habit Stacking Habit stacking uses the habits you already have and using the power of connection to create new habits.It makes sense right, you’ve already done something so much it’s almost auto pilot – if you use that as a foundational base to make a new habit, it’s more likely to stick.Habit stacking goes like thisAfter or Before [CURRENT HABIT], I will [NEW HABIT].Simple examples could be:Before I eat breakfast, I will write down 3 things I am grateful for.After I brush my teeth, I will take a minute to meditate.Before I check my phone in the morning, I will stretch for 5 minutes. So when I discussed the topic of goal setting and success on my Instagram you beautiful souls had a variety questions that I would like to answer. A Q&A a on goal setting and success. How do you prioritise your goals and success? When it comes to prioritising, think of it like this.Everyone in the world has 24 hours including Beyonce, Oprah, Elon Musk. What are you doing with every hour you get?Is what you are doing helping you get closer to your goal? Another useful tool is to use a decision matrix, how important is the task and how urgent is the task? How do you stay motivated towards your goals and success? Always know your purpose.A great exercise for this is something I learnt from The Life Coach school. It’s called the 3-2-1 method.Everyday write down your goal followed by 3 reasons why it is important to you, 2 reasons why you are equiped to make it happen and 1 thing you’ll do today to move closer to making it happen.If you’re struggling to understand the purpose of your goal, use the 5 whys technique. Ask yourself why, 5 times until you distill it down.For example:I want to get fit1st why? To be skinnier2nd why? So I can fit into my clothes3rd why? So I can wear the new clothes I bought4th why? These new clothes make me feel attractive and confident5th why? They show off my figure. I want to feel attractive and confident to call in a relationship into my life. To feel so much love not only for my partner but for me too. Realise this, when you chase a goal you’re chasing the feeling you get by achieving the goal. Most of the time it’s about feeling good.The great thing about feelings is you can also conjure up feelings by recalling memories right?If you want to feel happy, think about times where you have felt so much joy, you were laughing.If you want to feel sad, think about times where you have experienced heart ache and pain.If you want to feel confident, think about times where you felt at your best.Let’s tie this into achieving our goals and the realm of success.Let’s time leap and think about the you who achieves your goals this year.What does the future you who achieved your goal think?How does the future you who achieved your goal feel?What does the future you do?Taste it for a moment.Your subconscious can’t help but latch on and work in the background to find a way to make it happen.Not only that, how do you embody future you right now? What about achieving your goals and having success during times of uncertainty? Life is always going to be changing, change is the only constant.No matter what you need to have confidence in yourself.When you are confident in yourself, it doesn’t matter what is happening in the external world.The outside world doesn’t define who you are and what you can do, you do.Your job doesn’t define you, how much money you make, your relationship, how much you do, you do.You control your thoughts, you control your belief, you control your decisions.You know you can do hard things.You know you will find a way to make it happen.You know that you will figure it out.Self confidence is having belief in yourself.It’s taking the leap through the faith.Is reality controlling you or are you making the most of the current reality? Think about this analogy, that you are at a casino playing blackjack.Whatever cards you get, your goal is to win. You can’t control the cards you are being dealt, but what you do with those cards you control that. You also control your appearance, do you look confident with your hand or are you truly confident with your hand. Do you look defeated by your cards but secretly you know you have been dealt amazing cards?That doesn’t mean you’ll always win with every hand but thats okay right? Just because you lose one round doesn’t make you a terrible player. Just because you’ve been losing consistently doesn’t mean you’ll always lose. The tides turn. After all you can win big in just one round and leave. What if I don't have enough resources to make my goals happen and be successful? This one really ties into a scarcity vs abundance mindset.Scarcity says why is this happening to me. Abundance says what is here for me.Focus on what you do have, when you notice the good things in your life, you can’t help but feel more abundant. An abundant mindset looks for opportunities and understands the more you give, the more you will get.For example, if it’s money – the most incredible thing of our time is the internet. There are SO many free resources out there. In exchange for money, you may exchange time because you need to filter out all the information to find out work best for you, you need to try and learn along the way.Instead of I can’t afford that, think how can I afford that.Are you conscious of where your current resources are going? Your time, your effort, your energy?Most of the time we think we are but we can’t account for minute to minute of our time or dollar to dollar. This truly is a hard one but I truly understand. In 2020 I spent $10,000 on my self development during a global pandemic. What I realised though is I had more money than I thought. The money that I used to use on frivolous things like new clothes, Ubers, dining out and takeaway was now funding my development as a life coach through taking courses and having my own coaches. The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 09: How to Create and Have Success in 2021 - Close This episode has been like a mini intensive on how to set yourself up for success in 2021. I wanted to close this episode with some quotes and food for thought.“There is no elevator to success, you have to take the stairs.”“The road to success and the road to failure are almost exactly the same.”“Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do. Don’t wish it were easier; wish you were better.” “If you are not willing to risk the usual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.”“I never dreamed about success, I worked for it.”Thank you so much for listening to this episode on creating success in 2021. I am so excited for all the things to come this year. Watch this space! If you have any episode suggestions, please get in touch as I’m always looking for new ideas to explore.Not only that, as I mentioned earlier, I have limited 1:1 coaching spots left so if you are interested and want me by your side in 2021, let’s chat, I would love to help you.I hope you all have an absolutely incredible 2021 full of joy and success.Love and positivity, chat to you next Tuesday.[Episode 09 – How to Create and Have Success in 2021 Ends]Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon. The post 09: How to Create and Have Success in 2021 appeared first on Phi Dang, Clarity Confidence Life Coach Sydney.
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