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I just wanted to say that I don't care what you think. I don't.  But I hope you like us. Please.  We'll do anything if you just say you like us. We'll bake a pie. We'll mow your lawn. Hell - we'll even call your mom for you! 

Instead of listening to whatever this is. Stop. Drop. And Roll. Then meditate. 

Well it's been a minute. And that's because we care. It's called self care and get use to it.  You know sometimes things happen in this world. And when they do, you need to be prepared. WD-40. That's right. You need WD-40. Not WD-39, not WD-41, but good ole fashion WD-40.  WE STILL DONT KNOW WHAT THIS PODCAST IS ABOUT.  Please and thank you, Jesus Christ. 

Hey there, sometimes you just gotta get out there and be yourself. Other times, definetly don't do that. It could be dangerous. Because sometimes you're just not good enough you know? I mean, I'm not suppose to say that, but the truth hurts sometimes. This week we sing, play music, and generally suck at both. But whatever. Please like this, you could share it if you want but you don't have to.  I love you. 

We have recently been accused of clout chasing with our episode titles. We argue that we are simply shameless oportunists who love a good easy way to get viewers.  Anyways this episode we really dive into what it means to be an artist, the finer points of freedom, what it means to be an American, and why you should think about other spirits in this realm we call modern day earth.  Also hydrogen, oxygen, and carbon are the building blocks of life. Here's the thing... those are super common in this universe. So we can assume the ingredients of life exist on other planets. Seems simple to assume we're not alone in this universe.  Fart. 

We have guitars too! This episode Jayce takes a break from music and lets Connor do the heavy lifting. It's hard work making stuff up all the time.  You should follow us on whatever we have on social media. How does one even do that? 

I would like to apologize for the behavior and attitude that was displayed this episode. It was not right nor fair that these two had air time to discuss this nonsense. I think we should boycott their show and boycott any live performances they partake in. For example, they are performing live on June 21st in Athens, Georgia at the Flicker Bar. It will be around 8pm. So make sure to boycott this. It is important that we don't show up... on June 21st, in Athens, at Flicker Bar, at 8pm. Tickets are either $5 or free. But don't buy one.

We talk about things, stuff, and subjects on this weeks episode! We put on our thinking caps and discuss things in this world. If you want be smart listen to our podcast and you will know the things about the world and all that stuff. Be curious, learn, go to your public library and pub. You too can be a smart person like us?

Do you need to retire? Well that's dumb. You'll never retire. That's like something you do when you 90 and also rich. How does one get rich? Hard work, perseverance, original thinking, blood of the innocent? Who knows!  Also here at Getting Pretentious we are offering to buy Twitter for one more dollar than Elon Musk is offering. That's the game Elon, you play to win and win to play. Or whatever rich people say.

April fools isn't real and we live in a simulation. The only way out is pepto bismal. Hear me out. I am 100% not kidding. Those in charge don't want you to drink an entire bottle of pepto bismal because THEN WE WOULD KNOW THE TRUTH.  OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE REALITY YOU SHEEP!  I hope one day you see the light. Until then. Stay safe. Stay alert. Stay alive.  Also - bigfoot is real.

It's weird that people listen to this show. I honestly don't get it. You know what's ever weirder?  People wanting TO BE ON the show! Like who with a working brain would even consider it?  Damon Sumner. That's who.  Damon has a new album coming out soon so be sure to check that out. He is a great stand up comedian, father, and podcaster. Check his stuff out. Follow him on instagram at @damonrj2 to get information about his shows and his upcoming album release. Whew... that plug was exaughsting to type.  But also laugh at him for the insane decision to come on a middling improvised musical podcast.

We go over everything Putin needs to do to make ammends to the Ukrainian people and to the world. This is a very special episode.  Kid's stay in school and dont be dictators.  Also eat your veggies.

Here we go. It's time. Let's get ready to rumble. Wubba lubba dub dub. Did I do that? Bite my shiny metal ass.  We need a catchphrase. Those are pretty good.  I need coffee. This podcast is weird.

Where are we and how did we get here? The universe is constantly expanding at a rate that we cannot fathom and we are but specs of dirt on window pain, hardly noticeable and barely perceived. What can we do to live rich and fufilling lives in a space where time is but a blip on a vast canvas of matter and energy?  For now, you can listen to this new episode. It'll help you drive to work, mow the lawn, or just forget about how tiny our little lives are in this massive void we call existence.  I need a coffee. 

We were live with Jude Waguespack and Matthew Maher. We had fun, had some laughs, and no one got any refunds! So sit down, relax, and pretend you were there.  We will be releasing the video soon!

Fun fact: facts are fun.  We did a whole lotta talkin', singin', discussin' and podcastin'. Remember we are LIVE this Saturday (January 15th) at 6:30pm at Dynamic El Dorado. Our friends Jude and Matt will be there along with celebrity guests!  Join for fun, stay for the loyalty. 

Dear Listener,  We are confident that the music in our podcast, which is made up on the spot, is better than The Beatles, Fleetwood Mac, Tupac, Mozart, The London Symphony Orchestra, and Cher COMBINED.  If you disagree, then you're wrong.  Sincerly,  Jayce and Connor

Hey there! We are existing along with you in this reality, if you can believe it! Believing is everything and everything is built on your ability to believe. So don't stop believing or reality will cease to exist. That's a lot of pressure for a humanoid.  I am human. 

We're back and ready for action! What does that even mean? Like who says that? "Ready for action?" What a stupid thing to say. I feel bad for leading with that. I really shouldn't have.  You know what, I am sorry. These descriptions don't do the show justice. It's really a shame that they make me write these because they don't make sense. At. All.  Okay, you know what? I can read the room. Effectively immediately I, Jayce Hill, am resigning from writing episode descriptions. I need to remove myself and bring in someone who needs the exposure and who has the hunger to do a good job.  We are now taking applications for my resume. 

Take me out to the ball game. Seriously. Please take me out to a ball game. I want to see a ball game. If you can invite me to a game, I'd go. I really would. I'm fun to hang out with and I barely need to be fed. Just one hot dog, that's it.  This episode we talk about bringing me out to a ball game where I can romp and play and have a grand old time. We also talk about other things too, and sing, and do other stuff.  Baseball.