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In this episode, Matt Landsiedel and Andre-Lee Wills talk about their experiences with heterophobia. They share what it was like growing up gay in a heteronormative world and how this created fear and anger towards heterosexual people. They also unpack the relationship between internalized homophobia and heterophobia and how taking responsibility for ourselves in new ways can help us overcome these fears. The questions we explored in this episode are: What was life like for you as a young gay boy? When did you first realize that it was not acceptable to be gay? How did you cope with that? In what ways did you/do you fear heterosexual people? How can we overcome heterophobia? Connect with Andre: www.raisingvibrationscoaching.com Linkedin Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Watch this ep on YouTube - Connect with us - Join the private Facebook community Take our "Building Better Relationships" course Take our "Healing Your Shame" course Coaching Collection Instagram GayMenGoingDeeper.com Support the Show

Shame is that terrible feeling that arises when you get the sense that something is fundamentally wrong about you. It is often accompanied by inadequacy and self-doubt. Shame convinces you that you are not enough.   Like it or not, shame plays a key role in the gay man’s life. Born into a straight world, we must contend with the fact that we are different. While we all have a unique way of dealing with shame, healing it is necessary if we want to develop an authentic sense of self and truly connect in our most intimate relationships.  We’ll be exploring 3 key questions: How shame affect us as gay men, specifically How do we identify shame What are some ways we can start healing shame? Take today's episode to the next level: Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection Healing Your Shame course Your Hosts Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Resources Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection Healing Your Shame course Building Better Relationships course Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Connect With Us Join the Facebook community and monthly Group Zoom call You can also follow us on Instagram and TikTok Support the Show

Having a healthy sense of self-worth means balancing both external and internal validation.  In part 2 of the two-part series, we are focusing on internal validation, the skill of fuelling your self-worth from within you, rather than seeking it through external sources. Developing your sense of worthiness from within you is fundamental to living authentically as you become less attached to the opinions of others, and more focused on living in integrity with your personal core values.  This episode covers topics such as: What gets in the way of feeling internally validated? How exactly do you do it? What does your self-worth come from? What makes you feel valued? Join us for this discussion that will help you start feeling more worthy right here and now. Watch this episode on YouTube Your Hosts Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Reno Johnston Resources Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection Building Better Relationships course Healing Your Shame course Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Connect With Us Join the Facebook community and monthly Group Zoom call You can also follow us on Instagram and TikTok Support the Show

Having a healthy sense of self-worth means balancing both external and internal validation. External validation is when you derive your self-worth from sources outside of yourself while Internal validation is when your self-worth comes from within.  Unfortunately, many people rely on the external at the expense of the internal, thereby creating a situation where you are hustling to prove yourself to others and are over-sensitive to their criticism.   In this special two-part series, we’re welcoming back to the show, Reno Johnston, to discuss how we can develop a more secure sense of self-worth using both external and internal validation.  In part 1, we’ll be focusing on the external by discussing things like: Why do we crave external validation? In what ways do gay men typically seek it? What are the benefits? When does does become an issue? Watch this episode on YouTube Your Hosts Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Reno Johnston Resources Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection Building Better Relationships course Healing Your Shame course Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Connect With Us Join the Facebook community and monthly Group Zoom call You can also follow us on Instagram and TikTok Support the Show

In this episode, Matt Landsiedel and Travis Holp talk about imposter syndrome and how they have navigated periods in their lives when they felt like imposters. They also unpack the concepts of self-doubt, inadequacy, perfectionism, and fear of failure, which often underlie imposter syndrome.  The questions we explored in this episode are: Can you share a time when you experienced imposter syndrome? In what ways do you experience self doubt? How do you deal with feelings of inadequacy? What have you learned that's helped you deal with imposter syndrome? Connect with Travis: Website: www.travisholp.com Instagram: @traviswarriorunicorn Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Watch this ep on YouTube - Connect with us - Join the private Facebook community Take our "Building Better Relationships" course Take our "Healing Your Shame" course Coaching Collection Instagram GayMenGoingDeeper.com Support the Show

Whether you are aware of it or not, Purity Culture has influenced social norms around sex and relationships for centuries by attempting to repress sexual expression and label it as 'sinful.'  Even though society has evolved, so too as Purity Culture. It continues to have a harmful impact on the queer community by influencing policy and feeding into stigmatizing attitudes. In this episode, Michael DiIorio invites Jon Carl Lewis of Sex and the Queer Christian to have a discussion about Purity Culture 2.0. They’ll be discussing topics such as: What’s the difference between purity culture 1.0 and 2.0? Its impact on the gay community Monogamy and non-monogamy HIV/AIDS and PrEP Sexual consumerism and pornography How can Christianity evolve? Tips on how you can reconcile your sexuality with your spirituality  Join in for this revealing conversation about discovering your unique sexual values.  Today's Guest: Jon Carl Lewis Sex and the Queer Christian 7 Steps Toward Sexual Peace of Mind Twitter / Instagram Watch this episode on YouTube Resources Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection Building Better Relationships course Healing Your Shame course Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Connect With Us Join the Facebook community and monthly Group Zoom call You can also follow us on Instagram and TikTok Support the Show

Do you want sex or do you want intimacy? Or both? Sometimes our attempts to connect with guys gets thwarted by the confusion between these desires. This can lead to frustration and over time, loneliness.  In part 2 of this 2-part episode, Michael and Matt are going deeper into the topic of intimacy by talking about... How to develop more intimate connections Why gay men avoid intimacy How to overcome the fear of intimacy If you want to increase your capacity for greater intimacy in your relationships, this episode is for you.  Michael's Sexual Empowerment 101 Group Workshops Watch this episode on YouTube Resources Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection Building Better Relationships course Healing Your Shame course Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Connect With Us Join the Facebook community and monthly Group Zoom call You can also follow us on Instagram and TikTok Support the Show

Do you want sex or do you want intimacy? Or both? Sometimes our attempts to connect with guys gets thwarted by the confusion between these desires. This can lead to frustration and over time, loneliness.  In part 1 of this 2-part episode, Michael and Matt are going deeper into sex, intimacy, and sexual intimacy including…  How are sex and intimacy different? Different ways to practice intimacy What is (and isn't) sex positivity? Join us for this informative episode full of helpful tidbits that you can use to increase intimacy in your relationships. Michael's Sexual Empowerment 101 Group Workshops Watch this episode on YouTube Resources Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection Building Better Relationships course Healing Your Shame course Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Connect With Us Join the Facebook community and monthly Group Zoom call You can also follow us on Instagram and TikTok Support the Show

In this episode, Matt Landsiedel interviews Ed Cohen about the science of healing. Ed shares a holistic perspective on healing and how we can begin to reclaim our authority over our health from systems that can easily fail us if we become too passive. We explore how the mind and body are intrinsically connected when it comes to health and healing, and that it is important to search for deeper meaning when our body is expressing illness in any form. If you are someone who suffers from chronic illness, this episode will definitely shine a fresh perspective on healing for you.   The concepts we explored in this episode are: What does it mean to heal Curing vs. healing  How our culture places so much emphasis on external healing and asks us to give away our authority to professionals  The ways in which modern medicine is failing us Psychosomatics: how the mental and emotional impact the physical body  The importance of finding meaning in your illness  Connect with Ed: Website: www.healingcounsel.com Instagram: @healingcounsel Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Watch this ep on YouTube - Connect with us - Join the private Facebook community Take our "Building Better Relationships" course Take our "Healing Your Shame" course Coaching Collection Instagram GayMenGoingDeeper.com Patreon

On today's extra-special episode, we're saying goodbye (for now) to our incredible friend and co-creator, Calan Breckon.  This marks his last episode as a co-host of the podcast and he is sharing the reasons behind his decision while we reflect on the first 127 episodes of the podcast. Join us for this sentimental episode where we mark the end of one chapter of the Gay Men Going Deeper podcast, and the beginning of the next... Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Watch this ep on YouTube - Connect with us - Join the private Facebook community Take our "Building Better Relationships" course Take our "Healing Your Shame" course Coaching Collection Instagram Patreon -- Matt Landsiedel's Website Michael DiIorio's Website Calan Breckon's Website

How would you describe your relationship with your body? Are you BFFs or are you more like frenemies?  We each have a unique relationship with our bodies which directly influences how we treat it.  In this episode, we’re going deeper into that relationship by answering questions such as: How would you describe your relationship with your body?  How has that relationship changed over the years? How can you improve your relationship to body? Join us for this episode if you want to feel better about your body and create a more loving, respectful relationship with it. Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Watch this ep on YouTube - Connect with us - Join the private Facebook community Take our "Building Better Relationships" course Take our "Healing Your Shame" course Coaching Collection Instagram Patreon -- Matt Landsiedel's Website Michael DiIorio's Website Calan Breckon's Website

Mainstream and social media influence the norms of what is an attractive or acceptable body within our community.  Buying into this narrow definition is easy, but it can be detrimental to your self-image and self-esteem.   Body representation is the practice of celebrating a diverse range of body types and unlearning the conditioning that only some bodies are worth showing.   In this juicy episode, we’re answering questions such as: What has been your experience around body representation and body image in the media? How did that translate into your experience in the gay community? Do you actively work at changing your relationship with media/social media and how it affects you? What (if any) are the things you try to do to be part of the change around body representation? Join us for this spirited discussion about body positivity, self-image, and what you can do to support more diverse body representation in the media. Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Watch this ep on YouTube - Connect with us - Join the private Facebook community Take our "Building Better Relationships" course Take our "Healing Your Shame" course Coaching Collection Instagram Patreon -- Matt Landsiedel's Website Michael DiIorio's Website Calan Breckon's Website

There’s no doubt that Grindr has cemented itself as part of the gay culture. For an entire generation, an app has shaped what it means to be gay - for better or worse. In this episode, Michael invites special guest, Pepper, to make a case for engaging on Grindr with more respect, kindness, and humanity.   They are talking candidly about such things as: What to write in your bio  Kinder communication  Ghosting Respectful rejection Setting expectations  Hook ups Dealing with unsolicited pics  Stating preferences politely Knowing when to take a break  Today’s Guest: Pepper Instagram The Gay Good Today’s Host: Michael DiIorio Instagram Sexual Empowerment 101 Workshops Wellismo Coaching Take the 5 Love Languages Quiz Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Watch this ep on YouTube - Connect with us - Join the private Facebook community Take our "Building Better Relationships" course Take our "Healing Your Shame" course Coaching Collection Instagram Patreon -- Matt Landsiedel's Website Michael DiIorio's Website Calan Breckon's Website

There are countless ways to give and receive love. We each have unique preferences can change over time. Our "love languages" are influenced by factors such as our upbringing, attachment traumas, and relationship history.  In this episode, we're going deeper into the Love Languages, specifically answering questions such as: ❤️ What are your love languages? ❤️ What makes you feel loved? What influenced this? ❤️ How do you like to give love? What influenced this? ❤️ What would be your 6th love language? Take the 5 Love Languages Quiz Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Watch this ep on YouTube - Connect with us - Join the private Facebook community Take our "Building Better Relationships" course Take our "Healing Your Shame" course Coaching Collection Instagram Patreon -- Matt Landsiedel's Website Michael DiIorio's Website Calan Breckon's Website

In this episode, Matt Landsiedel and  Dr. Michael R. Smith talk about empathy and what it’s like being an empath and sensitive gay man in a world that isn’t designed for us. We share our own personal experiences being empathic/intuitive and how this can be beneficial but also challenging. We also discuss how relationships and sex can be different for empaths and how we have learned to best navigate this dynamic terrain.  The concepts we explored in this episode are: What is empathy? What is an empath? Why is empathy important? Challenges of having high empathy Benefits of having high empathy The science of empathy What is it like being an empath in relationships? What is it like to have sex as an empath? Connect with Michael: Website link: www.empathconnection.com Instagram: @michael_robert_smith Facebook: Empath Connection Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Watch this ep on YouTube - Connect with us - Join the private Facebook community Take our "Building Better Relationships" course Take our "Healing Your Shame" course Coaching Collection Instagram GayMenGoingDeeper.com Patreon

Unconditional love sounds romantic, but is it realistic or even healthy? There are a lot of factors at play when we talk about this type of love, and it’s not as simple as it sounds.   In this episode, we're diving deeper into unconditional love asking some important questions such as: ❤️ What does unconditional love mean? ❤️ What gets in the way of unconditional love? ❤️ How do you move towards loving someone unconditionally? Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Watch this ep on YouTube - Connect with us - Join the private Facebook community Take our "Building Better Relationships" course Take our "Healing Your Shame" course Coaching Collection Instagram Patreon -- Matt Landsiedel's Website Michael DiIorio's Website Calan Breckon's Website

Dating is still one of the greatest mysteries in the world some might say. And with over 1,500 dating apps out there it’s only getting more confusing on how to “figure it out” and find someone who is compatible. In today’s episode, host Calan Breckon unpacks some of the mysteries around dating intentionally with guest Michael Kaye. Michael is the Head of Global Communications at OkCupid, one of the world's largest dating apps, where he leads public relations programming, influencer marketing, and social media. Michael has been a leading voice in dating and relationships and has been featured in many news outlets such as ABC News, Cosmopolitan, The New York Times, and The Washington Post as well as many others. Together they unpack questions like… Where do you think we’re going wrong with dating on all these different apps these days? What do you think the difference is between just dating and dating intentionally? How can someone be more intentional when they’re looking to seriously date? ...as well as some insider information from behind the curtain of what those dating apps know about us as daters, and you may be surprised to find that it’s not what you’d think! Be sure to listen to the full episode as there is a surprise waiting at the end for those who make it there. Michael on IG: @michaelkayepr Twitter: @MichaelKayePR Today's episode is sponsored by The Silva Ultramind System Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Watch this ep on YouTube - Connect with us - Join the private Facebook community Take our "Building Better Relationships" course Take our "Healing Your Shame" course Coaching Collection Instagram Patreon

What is holding you back from doing everything you want to do and being whoever you want to be? For a lot of people, worrying about what others will say or how they’ll be perceived gets in the way of living a truly authentic life.  In this episode, we’re looking at what it means to give zero f**ks. We’ll be answering questions such as…   If you gave zero fucks and could do anything, what would it be and why? What’s the fear holding you back from doing it now? Where’s the line between being true to yourself and honouring your needs but not hurting other people by being unapologetic? What’s something you’re going to work on this year and be unapologetic about? Whether you give too many fucks, not enough, or just the right amount, you’ll find valuable insights and laughs in this fun-filled conversation. Today's episode is sponsored by The Silva Ultramind System Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Watch this ep on YouTube - Connect with us - Join the private Facebook community Take our "Building Better Relationships" course Take our "Healing Your Shame" course Coaching Collection Instagram Patreon

In a youth-obsessed culture, it’s easy to overlook the benefits of aging and the wisdom that only comes with lived experience. Including people of different generations in your social circle helps enrich our community and improves quality of life for everyone involved. Yet there are many stigmas attached to intergenerational (or “age-gap”) relationships, especially the romantic variety. In this episode, Michael invites psychiatrist Dr. Hector Rodriguez to talk about platonic and romantic intergenerational relationships. This episode covers a variety of topics such as:  Benefits of intergenerational relationships to our community and at the individual level Common stigmas in romantic relationships Ageism in the gay community Fetishizing older/younger men The unique challenges of romantic intergenerational relationships and how to overcome them Join us for this episode that is ultimately about connection and community - regardless of age. Today's Guest: Dr. Hector Rodriguez https://www.doctorhector.com Instagram Today's Host Michael DiIorio is a certified life and wellness coach specializing in self-confidence, sexuality, and relationships. You can find Michael at www.wellismo.com and follow him on Instagram @wellismo_coach. Today's episode is sponsored by The Silva Ultramind System Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Watch this ep on YouTube - Connect with us - Join the private Facebook community Take our "Building Better Relationships" course Take our "Healing Your Shame" course Instagram GayMenGoingDeeper.com Patreon

One of the most exciting things about life is being able to transform your identity whenever you want. For most people, transformation happens naturally and gradually over time. But sometimes you can purposefully and intentionally undergo a process of personal reinvention to become a new version of yourself.  In this episode, we’re talking about Reinventing Yourself and answering questions such as…   What has contributed to defining your self-image? How have you let go of old versions of yourself? How have you gone about reinventing yourself? How do you perceive yourself now? How much of that perception comes from how others respond to you? Join us as we share our own reinventions of the past, and present, and how we’re reinventing ourselves for the future. Today's episode is sponsored by The Silva Ultramind System Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Watch this ep on YouTube - Connect with us - Join the private Facebook community Take our "Building Better Relationships" course Take our "Healing Your Shame" course Coaching Collection Instagram Patreon