Listen Now

Eating wildlife raw, monetizing jellyfish, and how jellyfish even move around in the first place. Also: why some of them are immortal, what they do all day, what mysteries they keep in their sacs and nodules, and what baby chicks have to do with all of this. You’re missing MAYLIEN, our groundbreaking miniseries on aliens, if you’re not subscribed. A subscription/patronage to GBU gives you full access to all 140 episodes you haven’t heard, including ALIENTEMBER (our first alien miniseries) as well as MAYLIEN and the standard premium episodes. Do that now: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe

Emotions: experiments, how to keep them mellow, how to Ben Franklin them, and more. But more importantly: You are seriously fucking up right now by not subscribing/becoming a patron, because RIGHT THIS MOMENT, we’re running a new miniseries called MAYLIEN. For the entire month of May, subscribers and patrons get our deep look into Roswell, close encounters, underground alien battles, landings, and all the rest. Subscribe now to hear them as they come out (you’ll also get 139 episodes you haven’t heard and instant access to Discord.) • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe

Why the Cincinnati Castle is for idiots! Also: White Castle, sandcastles, bunkers, moats, woods, and all of the dirty business of castles, old and new. Please subscribe so that we can continue to pay the Garbage Brain University research team and write/record these episodes! You’ll get over 130 episodes you haven’t heard, plus access to our secret Discord server. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe

Why nothing humans make will last, why spiders are the worst bugs, why people perceive almost nothing, how spiders make silk, the ongoing cloaca situation, and what humans could do if we could make thread. Plus Imposter Syndrome, aliens changing our DNA, and the true purpose of all the plastic we make, micro or macro. Please subscribe, by the way. Your five bucks would keep us researching, writing and recording Garbage Brain University: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe

Blood tests, birds exploding, and other reasons not to like weddings. Hit the “subscribe now” button to access the 136 paid episodes plus our Discord chatroom. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe

Pigeon races, camel races, racewalking, swimming, nude biking, and all the other races that have ever existed. Which one would you be in? If you’re not a patron/subscriber you’re missing 135 premium-only episodes which you can access immediately by clicking the “Subscribe Now” button: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe

Would you become a cannibal? We talk about all the important parts of cannibalism: bioaccumulation, taste, Big Lurch, Christ Bearer, and chickens eating chickens. Also, prions, pour-overs, and the shit tree. Not a subscriber? Support GBU by giving us five dollars and you’ll be rewarded with 134 paid-patron-only episodes plus access to our secret Discord: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe

People love hippos… but should they? We look deeply into the hippo-dolphin connection, why they spray feces, why Drew doesn’t believe in wind chill, and why people love the lowest common denominator. Also: GG Allin, ancient zoos, muting people, and sleeping in the bathtub. Please consider supporting GBU since you listen to it and love it. A patronage here or elsewhere is only $5 and gives you instant access to 133 episodes you’ve never heard plus our secret Discord chatroom: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe

But first, books: what came before them? Who invented them (not Gutenberg, obviously?) Who invented spaces between words? Why did the Roman Empire fall? Why are we here? What comes after this? In ten, a thousand, a million, a trillion years? Subscribe now (instant access to the 132 odd-numbered episodes you’ve never heard) please. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe

Emojis, in their short life online, have accomplished a lot. We talked our favorite emojis, “internet tone,” why they don’t have a nose, passive aggression, why the smiley face is copyrighted, Natalie’s idea for a mobile game, and 🆗. Not subscribed? You’re missing half of our episodes and our secret chat-room/group-game hub. Subscribe now to join us. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe

Hey, we’ve gotta talk about something important: we need your help to keep making Garbage Brain University, and the only way you can help is by becoming a patron/subscriber. Hit the “Subscribe Now” button and you’ll be instantly rewarded with 130 subscriber-only episodes, but you’ll also have helped us to continue researching, writing, and recording two of these every week. Anyway! Are caterpillars conscious? When is it time to leave society? What part of your DNA are you, really, if any? What happened when scientists gave people an extra thumb? And much more. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe

How many twins are there? Why do mammals have them? And what goes down at the Kentucky Pig Derby? We answer questions on these, dox the Dick Boys, and Drew creates a plan for neighbors to raise children more efficiently. All in today’s free episode. Want to listen to the episodes we publish for subscribers only? The 129 full-length episodes you’ve never heard? You should know how to do that by now, but if not, you can hit this “Subscribe Now” button for instant access to our whole backcatalogue. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe

Welcome to the shitty holiday season! We talked about why they’re usually on Monday, why Natalie likes Flag Day, why Drew hates the flag, mini eggs, Bezos, Columbus Day, Jack Nicklaus, and the secret of the Seychelles. Please subscribe so that we may continue making more of these: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe

Anteaters: I don’t like the look of them! Giant anteaters, silky anteaters, what the Wall Street Journal thinks of us, why Salvador Dali had an anteater, how they make more anteaters, and all about their insanely weird tongue. Subscribe now to help us keep making more Garbage Brain University! • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe

What is Reality Television? We take a look at the metaphysics of reality television, the Great Reality TV Con, linguistic shifts in confined populations, cops, and give you the details of our brand-new reality TV show. Subscribe to hear more episodes & join our community: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe

Get in touch with dirt! Natalie & Drew talk about gardening, plastic animals, rosemary, the heaven of a huge dirt pile, and what happens when you buy a raw whole chicken from Amazon. You’re still listening to us talk and it’s been 250 episodes, so you clearly love it, and we dearly need your support, and you’ll get twice as many episodes, so please subscribe now. Hit this brown button: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe

Having a great time with lizards! (Just kidding, lizards aren’t any fun.) Why Natalie doesn’t want to touch them, what Drew’s lizard was like, a lizard quiz, and the answers to all the lizard questions you’ve ever had. Subscribe and you’ll keep us making more (and hear the 124 episodes that you have to pay to hear.) • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe

What do beavers smell like? Who is more pious, Drew or Natalie? And how do you hold a beaver? Also: high risk texting, beaver dams, human nature, Jeff Bezos’s space lie, Keyboard Cat, zoomer pants, and thousands of other facts and ideas. Subscribe for more. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe

Welcome to 2022! We talk septic tanks, garbage disposals, not pooping on trips, boycotts, pony kegs, and why we’re not any smarter than ancient people. Also: the first quiz of the year! Subscribe for more episodes (there are over 120 you haven’t heard.) • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe

Time loss! Time dilation! And actual time travel. We talk about these as well as aliens’ ability to time travel, the Vatican’s chronovisor, John Titor, magick as relating to the wave function, gravitational waves, time as a single point, and the rat experiment that may have proved global consciousness is possible. Not a subscriber? You’re missing the deepest and best episodes we have (over 120 now!) which are only available to subscribers. Consider helping us continue to write and record GBU with a subscription! • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe