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45 minutes | Jun 19, 2022
How to support each other in the struggles of fostering
In this episode, we’re talking about supporting each other in the struggles of fostering in a wholistic perspective. 1. Physical Home life (chores, responsibilities, etc. ) Foster duties such as insurance, appointments, etc. The spouse who’s NOT taking on more task encouraging the other to take a break Keeping health and fitness a priority Keeping intimacy a priority 2. Spiritual Keeping relationship with God THE priority as individuals Praying together Practicing faith - speak to trusting God when you don’t know something is going to go Examples - the future of the kids, will we lose them, will this adoption happen 3. Mental/Emotional Doing the things that replenish and rejuvenate you When you’re struggling with a super difficult child Practicing living with suffering and daily dying to self When you’re struggling with losing a child Seeking help if you need it Important of grace Your support of each other is more powerful when you’re supporting the whole person.
34 minutes | Jun 5, 2022
How to make fostering fit your marriage (not the other way around)
It’s easy in fostering to lose focus on making your marriage the higher priority. Learn how to change that mindset and keep your marriage priority #1. IntroductionToday we’re talking about making foster parenting fit your marriage, not the other way around. What holds couples back from keeping their marriage the higher priority: We place more importance on fostering than the marriage Seeking worth from fostering and your kids If your beliefs (possibly driven by lies, assumptions, “kids are more important”, etc) then your decision/behaviors will follow those beliefs Fostering being possibly the only important thing you have in common Therefore, it’s what you talk about and focus on constantly 2 keys to keeping your marriage the higher priority: Key #1 - Mindset Both people actually believe that the marriage is more important Beliefs: It’s critical to lead and shepherd your family It’s our job to make our kids healthy, strong, and good decision makers Our family will do better when we’re unified Every team needs 1 leader and the more unified you are, it’s as if there’s only 1 leader (but we bring different gifts and talents to the family) Communication is better Gives the kids more consistency and therefore, security and stability Key #2 - Healthy accountability Healthy accountability is lovingly helping someone succeed In this case, it’s to succeed in marriage and as parents Discuss what holds people back from having healthy accountability Taking things personally Pride Defensiveness Fear Making assumptions Not asking questions Losing worth in the discussion Feeling out of control Approaching your spouse in a loving way to discuss the problem Humility and practicing receiving what your spouse is saying ConclusionTwo BIG keys to make foster parenting fit your marriage, not the other way around. Mindset Healthy accountability
29 minutes | May 22, 2022
How to keep or create unity
In a Fostering Marriage, you’re faced with stressors, emotional struggles and hard decisions that can chip away at unity. Learn how to keep or create unity in the midst of challenges. IntroductionIf you listened to Episode 0, welcome back and we’re thrilled you’re here! If you didn’t listen to episode 0, go listen because we share a little about why we’re doing this show and who we are In this episode, we’re talking about how to keep or create unity in a Fostering Marriage Why is this so important? What holds couples back from greater unity? Key #1 - Prioritizing connection Create the time and space away from the kids to… How couples drift away from prioritizing connection… What happens when we don’t connect as couples Key #2 - Quality communication We’re gonna talk a ton about communication on this show…. We're gonna talk a lot about personality styles and communication… The point we want to make today is constantly work on your communication… Slow down and practice patience Pay attention to your tone - being careful of accusations/ controlling in how you speak Gain perspective/Ask questions Remember you’re on the same team Key #3 - Be generous to each other What does that mean? Giving, sacrificing, not being selfish Being graceful and understanding of each other’s struggles Be generous in how you view the other person Shut down judgment, bitterness, resentment, victim mentality Serve each other Not everything has to be compromise… ConclusionThree keys to focus on to keep or create unity are: Prioritize connection Quality communication Be generous to each other
12 minutes | May 19, 2022
What the Fostering Marriage podcast is all about
Welcome to the Fostering Marriage podcast! We hope you’re having a fabulous day where you are! This is your hosts, Joel and MaryBeth Fortner. We’ve been married for over 12 years and for 3 years we’ve been on the fostering and adoption journey. We’re starting this show to specifically help couples who are also on this journey, no matter where they are. One of our top goals for this show is to help couples keep their marriage priority #1 or help couples rebuild their marriage and make it #1 again. Some other goals are: Give couples tools to improve their communication Help people overcome what holds them back personally Better navigate the stressors and challenges of fostering together Be more on the same page, make better decisions together, and become more unified We’ve been blessed to have people and resources in our lives that have... …helped us heal over things in our personal lives, …grow in self awareness, …achieve a great marriage and grow even closer together over the last 3 years of fostering. We’ve learned that many marriages struggle so much due to stressors that come with fostering and couples aren't equipped to protect their marriages. We want to do something about that. This show is a first step. We hope you’re interested in listening and more importantly, learning, growing and putting in the work to improve your Fostering Marriage. Join us on episode 1 where we dive into How To Create and Keep Unity.
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