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Kyle destigmatizes substance use and mental health by opening up about his own journey through recovery after a two-decade-long battle with drugs and alcohol that almost took his life in October of 2021. His fear of failure, fear of falling, and fear of inadequacy don’t compare to the fear of not living a full life. Kyle’s path to being substance-free embraces some of fear’s corresponding counterparts—joy, success, the exhilaration of free-fall, and the inner sanctum of the non-comparative derivation of self-worth. Addiction…is a public health crisis. Just about any behavior or stimulus can go from well-adapted and functional to maladaptive and dysfunctional, but the more that we bring it into public discussion, the more that people can feel like they can support each other and talk about it openly, and not act like it’s this *thing* that we have to hide. For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, Ocún, and the Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance (SUWA). Music is by Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed. Cover art by Kika MacFarlane. Read the transcript here. Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlights FLC is public media which means we’re supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron.

Savannah lived in a truck for a year in an attempt to pursue a career in adventure photography. She learned that the privilege to electively suffer still comes at a cost. It didn’t give her more time with her aunt, but it did give her the ability to bloom with a new season, to grow big enough to hold both love and grief simultaneously. Because grief, at its deepest core, is an act of love itself. For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, Ocún, and the Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance (SUWA). Music is by Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed. Cover art by Kika MacFarlane. Read the transcript here. Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlights FLC is public media which means we’re supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron.

Dan always knew he was different growing up, but he didn’t have a name for it. Growing up gay in rural America shaped the way he moved through the world, and it led him to believe that the outdoors wasn’t a safe place for him. This podcast unequivocally supports the LGBTQIA community. Episode thirty-eight discusses suicide and depression. If you’re struggling with mental health, please check out the show notes for more resources at fortheloveofclimbing.com, and take care of yourselves while listening. This month through July 4th, use code LOVECLIMBING-20 at checkout for 20% off Deuter’s Guide Series packs. Deuter is one of the leading backpack brands that has been supporting this podcast from day one.  For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, and Ocún. Music is by Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed. Cover art by Kika MacFarlane. Read the transcript here. Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlights FLC is public media which means we’re supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron.

Pam didn’t have a lot of tragedy in her life, so she didn’t know about the arc. And as a grieving person, it was hard to look forward to anything, especially on top of the pandemic. But the world started opening up again, and she and her husband Jim rode 1,300 miles self-supported from the coast of Oregon to Montana last summer. When Jim started not feeling well, they decided to return home to California. And it was almost like she had a little bump, so she was devastated when they had to come back. It felt dark and isolated, and Pam realized—she didn’t totally have it nailed. Pam knows about the arc, now. She knows that she has to build a future with things to look forward to and that give her purpose, if only to help her to not feel sad. And it might be like this for the rest of her life, so she takes the good when she receives it and doesn’t expect it to last. But when she’s stuck in a moment, she recognizes that it’s only a moment and to hold fast—that all storms pass. Episode 37 is in loving memory of Brad Gobright, & in dedication to Pam, Jim, and Jill. We love you. For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, and Ocún. Music is by Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed. Cover art by Kika MacFarlane. Read the transcript here. Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlights FLC is public media which means we’re supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron.

Hope isn’t perpetual optimism. It’s an inherent part of being human that requires determination for things to change for the better. We’re back this May with ten new stories from climbers about what hope means to them.  Because life can be full of sucker punches, but that doesn’t mean you stop breathing. In fact, the whole point is that you get up, learn something, pass on whatever slice of happiness or nugget of wisdom to others, and move forward. Because there’s always hope on the other side. This is not a climbing podcast. It’s a funny, sad, and mostly uncomfortable podcast about the healing that takes place when we talk openly about our pain and being the most human we can be, which doesn't always mean our best (or shiniest). Producer’s notes: we got a 2022 glow-up and Alex Johnson partially sings Celine Dion’s “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now”. For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, and Ocún. Music is licensed by Music Bed. Cover art by Kika MacFarlane. Read the transcript here. Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlights FLC is public media which means we’re supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron.

Climbing can be, er, kinda selfish. We go up, we go down—and then we do it all over again. It's also where Oliver and Alyssa’s interests diverge. For some, that’s a dealbreaker. Is this lifestyle sport so unique that it’s the be-all-end-all for relationships? Maybe.  For the Love of Climbing is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, and presented by Patagonia. Music by: Kakurenbo and Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch for creating absolute magic, and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode. Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane. Read the transcript here. Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things. Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Humans are capable of acts of such bravery but also, acts of such cowardice from one moment to the next. And of course, sometimes we’re going to do terrible things—and sometimes, we’re going to do amazing and beautiful things.  For the Love of Climbing is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, and presented by Patagonia. Music by: Kakurenbo and Chad Crouch. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch for creating absolute magic, and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode. Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane. Read the transcript here. Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things. Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Dreams don’t just fall into our heads out of nowhere. They require patience, self-compassion, and the courage to pursue them, regardless of the odds. Debbie credits her resilience to her childhood struggles in Catalonia and learned that sometimes, you have to travel to the other side of the world to discover what moves you the most. For the Love of Climbing is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, and presented by Patagonia. Music by: Kakurenbo and Chad Crouch. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch for creating absolute magic, and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode. Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane. Read the transcript here. Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things. Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

This is one transgender climber’s story. And it’s hard to sum up in just a few sentences not just Lor’s identity, but the human being that they are. The impact that they’re having on our community in a meaningful way, and how it’s growing because of it. Just by simply existing. This is part two of a two-part story. For the Love of Climbing is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, and presented by Patagonia. Music by: Kakurenbo and Chad Crouch. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch for creating absolute magic, and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode. Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane. Read the transcript here. Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things. Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Lor had to decide. They could go on hating themself, or could be a part of making the world a place that was more healed—and that started with healing themself. This is part one of a two-part story. For the Love of Climbing is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, and presented by Patagonia. Music by: Kakurenbo and Chad Crouch. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch for creating absolute magic, and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode. Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane. Read the transcript here. Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things. Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

What role does excessive boozing in a community of athletes play? And let’s be really clear—this isn’t just the outdoor industry and trade show happy hours. It’s not about climbing culture or the river or ski or mountain biking community, or even the outdoor community at large.America has a drinking problem, and Ari’s story isn’t unique. It prompts us to ask the question of why we’re drinking in the first place—is it coping or conviviality?For the Love of Climbing is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, and Patagonia.

Phillip Schaal, an elite rock climber and one of the world’s best boulderers at the time, died in 2016 after a severe reaction to a suspicious drug overdose, as told by his mother Eloise. Francois Lebeau described Phillip as an “underground machine”. “Quiet and humble”, Phillip was always doing his own thing and “shied away from the media limelight”. Phillip’s story is told through Eloise’s lens and experience. For the Love of Climbing is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, First Ascent Coffee, Vibram, and presented by Patagonia. Music by: Kakurenbo and Chad Crouch. “Dreamers for Elisa” by Caro C. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch for creating absolute magic, and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode. Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane. Read the transcript here. Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things. Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

We’re increasingly pressured to parcel ourselves up in various social contexts, but identity is complex. Being transgender is just another way of being human, and the beauty within that is that it can mean whatever you want it to mean.   For the Love of Climbing is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, First Ascent Coffee, and Patagonia. Music by: Kakurenbo. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch and Skyler Kergil for creating absolute magic, and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode. Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane. Read the transcript here. Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things. Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

In 2017, a forty-foot fall broke Brittany’s L1 vertebrae, sending a piece of bone into her spinal cord. She describes it as one of those surreal dreams where you wake up and think, “Thank God—that wasn’t me standing in my underwear in front of the entire classroom. It wasn’t real.” Except, after she woke up—shit got real. But Brittany has been gritting her way through life long before her accident. Most people run from a past like Brittany’s. But after falling forty feet, Brittany didn’t have that option. Despite her disability, she’s held fast—and what Brittany soon found was a community within para-climbing. For the Love of Climbing is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, First Ascent Coffee, and presented by Patagonia. Music by: Kakurenbo and Podington Bear. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch for creating absolute magic and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode. Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane. Read the transcript here. Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things. Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

On April 16th, 2019, elite climbers Jess Roskelley, David Lama, and Hansjörg Auer lost their lives in an avalanche climbing Howse Peak in Alberta’s BANFF National Park. The margin of error for alpinism is unnervingly thin, and the truth of it all is that you are not in control—the mountain is. And it took losing Jordan’s brother, Jess, to learn this unforgiving lesson. "And even when I was close to defeat, I rose to my feet, my life a soundtrack, I rose to the beat." -Dr. Dre This episode is in honor of Jess Roskelley and the Roskelley family, David Lama, and Hansjörg Auer. For the Love of Climbing is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, First Ascent Coffee, and presented by Patagonia. Music by: Kakurenbo and Podington Bear. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch for creating absolute magic and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode. Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane. Read the transcript here. Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things. Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling. Donate to and learn more about the Jess Roskelley Foundation here.

Cedar, who was named after a tree, has something called Progressive Familial Intrahepatic Cholestasis, otherwise known as PFIC 2. This devastating genetic disorder affects 1 in 50,000 to 1 in 100,000 live births and, if untreated, can be fatal by the age of twenty. Visit http://pfic.org for more information.   This episode is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, First Ascent Coffee, and Patagonia. Music by: Kakurenbo and Podington Bear. Additional music licensed by Music Bed. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch for creating absolute magic, and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode. Additional sound effects from zapsplat.com. Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane. Read the transcript here. Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things. Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

How do you measure something that definitively changes your life forever—whether it be for better or worse? Like, what kind of metrics are we supposed to be using for that kinda thing? Is the entire idea of “change” just an arbitrary construct, something that we make up to make ourselves feel better? Since the start of the pandemic, life has been nothing but change. So, we thought it was a good time to ask folks how climbing changed their lives, and was it really for the better? Not to get all existential on you—because, you know, we’re not *that* kind of podcast. This mini-episode is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, First Ascent Coffee, and Patagonia. Music by: Kakurenbo and Podington Bear. Additional music licensed by Music Bed. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch for creating absolute magic, and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode. Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane. Read the transcript here. Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things. Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Last September, North Bennett sent me a personal essay and told me that he thought it wasn’t send-y enough for most sports publications, but also a little too climb-y for others. And—that’s where we come in. As it turns out, it was actually *just* the sort of story that we’d share on this podcast. “A Knot like Infinity” is putatively about seeking romance on Tinder and climbing with friends, but really takes on the topics of self-image, self-representation, and the value of friendship.

Just shy of twenty 5.12 free solos, Austin Howell had climbed nineteen unique routes without a rope—one of them without shoes and butt ass naked. In 2019, Austin died free soloing in Linville Gorge, North Carolina. His love for climbing is hard to capture with words alone, so we flew to Minnesota in the summer of 2019 to borrow some of Susan’s. Austin's story is complicated, but as the pendulum in life swings both ways, he embraced both its highs and lows and especially reveled in the joy that free soloing brought him.

Jack used to do all the things, like surfing and jiu jitsu. But an incomplete spinal cord injury in 2018 changed his plans indefinitely. What’s a little neck fracture at C4 and C5, right? It still hasn’t slowed him down and his accident unknowingly gave him the foundation for understanding risk and its counterpart, the consequences of rock climbing.