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Has another year passed by of the same hurt, the same torment, and the same questions? You want to change your story but you're stuck. Have you been wondering whether Flying Free or Flying Higher is your next step? Two women share their stories of discovering these groups and the myriad ways their lives changed for the better. From learning what narcissism and emotional abuse are to what life can look like for a Christian women after divorce, Stacey and Robin tell how they've grown, healed, and found safe community through the Flying Free Sisterhood. Don't let any more time pass without investing in your healing and your future. Your life isn't over; your story isn't over; you are not irredeemably broken. Stacey and Robin are living proof. Read or download the transcript hereThis episode is your chance to hear: Raw, powerful examples of how Flying Free and Flying Higher help women just like you The specific differences between the two groups (and how they fit perfectly with the natural progression of a survivor's journey) How to get on the waiting lists so YOU can start Flying Free or Flying Higher  If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

 One of the most satisfying and helpful things for survivors of emotional and spiritual abuse is finding answers. After living in confusion and chaos for years, answers are a homecoming for our weary souls and roots for our new identity.  In this episode, Natalie fields three listener questions from women just like you, including: How do I deal with emotional triggers? How do I find safe people? What can I use to teach my church how to help victims of abuse? Read or download the transcript hereListen to learn: How and why we get triggered and several options for calming ourselves How our beliefs inform our ability to set healthy boundaries with safe (and dangerous) people The reality of abuse in the church: it's a heart problem, not a knowledge problem How the Flying Free Sisterhood and Flying Higher group can help! If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

The Flying Free Podcast began in January, 2018 with the hope of educating and encouraging women of faith in destructive marriage relationships. Two years and one hundred episodes later we have thousands of listeners from all over the world, and the voices and hearts of Christian women are rising to their God-given place of human dignity and honor. This is a work of love birthed from a place of heartache and shame. Something only a loving, compassionate, and powerfully redeeming God could do. In this special 100th episode, you'll get some of the best quotes from the Flying Free Podcast so far. Links to the full episodes are included in a special 100th edition transcript on our website.Read or download the transcript hereIf you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

These are the questions that gnaw at your bones, that leave your soul hungry, and keep you up at night. Questions asked from the fire, the long road, the dark, and the doubt. Questions like: How do you deal with the pain of being rejected by your family? You're in good company. I understand; I can relate; and there are answers and a way forward, even in the middle of your deepest pain. "The fact is, if we are letting other people’s ideas and beliefs dictate our own happiness and our own emotions, that is going to create terrible results in our life. We’re basically giving over all the power for our future, the things we do, our emotions, and how we show up in the world to other people. We might as well go back and live in an abusive relationship."In this episode, I give answers to: What to do with ruminating thoughts of justice/revenge for our abusers and fear/loneliness in ourselves.  The POWER we have to make our lives amazing, how to do it, and why that's the best punishment for abusers anyways. How a strong relationship with ourselves is key to healing, thriving, and deep peace (and how to begin developing that relationship).  Read or download the transcript hereIf you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

I get so many questions from women in the Flying Free and Flying Higher programs related to parenting older, adult children who grew up in toxic homes. One of the most common? How do I support my aduilt children who grew up in an spiritually and emotionally abusive home? These relationships can be painful, tricky, and even traumatic because often the adult kids blame their mom either for getting out — or for not getting out soon enough. And that's just one of the complicated issues surrounding these relationships. So how can we approach our adult children in a way that shows them love and honor while maintaining our own self-respect? In this episode Becky and I discuss: What some of the problems are in these relationships Why these problems exist What we CAN do in our relationships with our adult children What we CAN'T do for our adult children How we can manage our own minds through it all Read or download the transcript hereIf you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

We all want to be part of a story. One of bravery, overcoming the odds, healing, beauty, and a greater purpose. In the overwhelm of trauma, all of these things seem out of reach, stolen from us, lost in the wasteland of our pain. But reclaiming our lives through words is one of the most powerful and effective ways to heal, and it's available to anyone! Learn how writing your story will help you heal from emotional and spiritual abuse. This podcast is chock-full of insight, including: how a writing class saved Stacy's life and drove her to teach others about writing WHAT writing can help you heal from, and HOW  strategies/steps to begin writing for yourself why your story (and YOU) matter deeply, no matter what you've gone through Read or download the transcript hereIf you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Sara was trapped in an abusive marriage. Her pain was only exceeded by the overwhelming confusion. After exhausting every avenue of help and hope, she reached a conclusion critical to every survivor's freedom and recovery: You are not responsible for your husband's behavior. Over the last three years she's been working to heal and rebuild her life, eventually starting her own business as a copywriter and editor. Now her joy is only exceeded by her gratitude.Highlights from this Episode: why survivors often (and need to) find joy and laughter in the every day how losing so much to get out of an abusive relationship is actually a blessing some of the common survival mechanisms that she's laid aside so she can fully thrive evidence that divorce isn't the end—it's a chance to remake your life, live in power and authenticity,   and become who you were made to be the vital role the Flying Free and Flying Higher groups have played in her healing/growth (and can in yours too!) Read or download the transcript hereIf you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

My life had become a war zone. If there were red flags beforehand, I didn’t see them. I thought I was part of a fairy tale, a beautiful romance, a love story for the ages. My husband changed after we got married. I followed the script, I made all the effort, I took all the blame and responsibility. Nothing ever helped and nothing ever changed. Until I realized I could save myself. This is Barb’s story.Barb Spanier was married for 24 years and now helps others living in the same kind of hell she escaped. Her coaching practice, Integrative Coaching for Life, helps women live authentic, courageous lives no matter the struggles or circumstances they’re experiencing. She also works with Natalie to provide coaching in the Flying Higher program.Some great nuggets from today’s episode: 4 key pieces of advice for anyone wanting/trying to get out of an abusive marriage What a script is and how it can influence your decisions (for better or worse) Some incredible resources for healing and freedom Read or download the transcript hereIf you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.

Parenting small children is hard. Parenting small children in an emotionally destructive home is brutal. You’re in survival mode, living in a waking nightmare. You’re confused, in pain, and don’t know how to help yourself, much less your kids. You need clarity and guidance. This podcasts gives both.Natalie covers: the lies women/children believe because of abuse the dynamics created by an abusive father/husband new beliefs that bring freedom and the beginning of healing resources to move from surviving to thriving Related Resources: Resources to Help Kids Learn Emotional Resiliency Raising Kids with an Emotionally Abusive Parent How to Trust God with Your Kids If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.comAnd finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher. 

Lipstick on a pig: when you take something stinky, gross, even harmful, and try to repackage it as beautiful, desirable, and helpful. That’s complementarianism — the religious belief that women were created to be ruled over, to fulfill only certain roles, and made inherently less than the men, who have a god-given right to be their mini-lords. Gender roles contribute to emotional abuse in the home and church. The underlying belief system is anything but biblical. It’s ugly, and the root of incalculable harm in many women’s lives. Lipstick on a pig…and we’re calling it out.In this episode we talk about: The origins of our modern day church perspective on gender roles How egalitarianism is NOT a rejection of the Christian faith or gender differences How that perspective contributes to emotional and spiritual abuse in churches/Christian homes What you can do about it This episode stems as an answer to a listener question:“I am confused about the difference between egalitarian vs complementarian theories. I have always believed that God created men and women differently and that we have different roles we should play in marriage and the church, but I believe that the power over structure that I have always believed in greatly contributed to the emotional abuse I suffered in both my marriages.”If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

You spend every conversation talking in circles, being told why you're always at fault, apologizing for anything he did wrong, and feeling like a piece of human trash. The chance that you're experiencing gaslighting is 100%. It's a favorite tactic among abusers because it's extremely effective. This podcast is a one-two punch of knowledge and empowerment, exactly what women stuck in the mire of gaslighting need.    This podcast covers:    An explanation of gaslighting Some classic examples The reason gaslighting works on you The number one impact on victims What a flying monkey is How to build your strength, regain your sanity, and start healing A simple and easy approach for handling gaslighting, that works! If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

What if your desire to avoid hurting anyone is actually the reason you ARE hurting them? What if you're actually hurting YOURSELF by living out this desire too?Boundaries don't hurt others, despite the loud voices that tell you otherwise. Healthy boundaries aren't meant to control other people, ensure they think well of you, or make you into a prickly cactus no one can approach. They're a way of living your truest self and your highest calling, while honoring the personhood of everyone around you.Listen to learn more about: The lie that keeps many women in bondage to poor boundaries. Possible responses to setting boundaries, and how to reframe your thinking about them. The truth that can set you free to live with healthy boundaries and without the guilt! How healthy boundaries reflect the heart of Jesus and the way he lived on Earth. If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

In our interview with Patrick Doyle, find out: How do you know you’re dealing with someone who isn’t safe? What is the number one goal of an unsafe church and an unsafe person? What are the two rules for knowing if someone is safe or not? What is the number one way to protect yourself from an abusive relationship? If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

How do you respond when your partner sends you two totally different messages? One message says he loves you and will do anything to make things right. The other message says you're making a big deal out of nothing, and you're actually the problem. Which message is true?  In this episode, Daphne, Natalie, and Rachel talk about: What your partner is really communicating and how you can know for sure.  How religious teachings like "your heart is desperately wicked, and who can know it?" and "assume the best" perpetuate domestic abuse. Where conviction really comes from. A simple way to reframe your experience so you can get unhooked from the lies. How authentic love doesn't bind people but rather sets them free.  If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

In this episode we interview financial planner, Leah Hadley. Find out: The importance of having a financial advisor trained in divorce settlements/planning. Why not knowing anything about finances or your marital financials DOESN'T mean you can't get a fair shake! Resources/strategies to prepare yourself for divorce (or even if you're already in the middle of one). If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

You've been telling him for years how hurtful his behavior is. Literally begging him to stop. It's like beating your head against a wall. You've reached your breaking point. Then he tosses out a question your heart longed to hear from the beginning:"What can I do to fix this?"Right at the end. Right before your feet hit the pavement. Right before you've given up.What now?Learn about 3 critical aspects of this scenario What this question actually means. Why he never asked it before. Ways to respond that won't lead you right back onto the hamster wheel of death. If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

When Lynn, a widow and registered nurse, met her abuser for the first time, she thought he was a safe bet. Who could be safer than a pastor and former missionary? But once he had her hooked in, he tore down her dignity and identity through shaming and neglect. Lynn shares her long journey of waking up to the shaking reality that even religious leaders can be wolves in sheep's clothing.  Find out what abusive spiritual leaders do when they counsel other abusers. Learn about some of the more subtle kinds of domestic abuse.  Discover the key all survivors need to have to unlock the door of their prison.  If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

You're the problem. An angry woman, a discontent wife, a troublemaker, the ungodly one. You've heard this over and over, in your mind, at church, and from your husband. Why can't you get it together? Where do all the rage, frustration, and ugliness come from?    What if the question is the answer?   Abusers don't ask if they are abusive.    Natalie, Daphne, and Rachel discuss the common reactions women have in destructive marriages that bring shame and confusion along with:  The need to see that our abusers try to force a reaction by exploiting their intimate knowledge of us. How/why it is so common for counselors, pastors, family, and friends to slap the label of "abuser" on a victim (and why you don't have to care). The key to freedom from this horrible merry-go-round: CHOICE!  If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

What if I lose my kids? How can I stand up for myself in the process of divorce when my husband seems to hold all the cards? How will I keep it together as I climb this ladder out of hell? These questions haunt women in abusive marriages who want to escape.There is hope and there are answers.In this episode, Wendy Hernandez, a Phoenix family law attorney, divorce coach, founder of the Hernandez Family Law Firm, and creator of the Command the Courtroom YouTube channel and online programs, covers several critical topics for divorcing women, including: Why the fear of losing your kids is based on lies/misconceptions The kind of documentation and questions you should have, before or while you are using a lawyer (including how to find a good one or deal with a bad one). How EMPOWERING divorce can be as you set boundaries for a NEW life...of HOPE! If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com

Trust is risk. Trust forces us to decide what we believe, make choices based on those beliefs, and respect what others choose to believe and do. We aren't called to control others, please everybody, or even defend our decisions. But we are called to live bravely using the knowledge, experience, and power we have.  Trusting God doesn't mean we all make the same choices.   We are only responsible for our choices. Allowing others to be who they are/make their own choices is trusting God and allows us to live in freedom.  If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.comI'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list. You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com