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Good morning, Five Minute Families. Thank you for joining us this morning as we conclude this short two-part devotional on temper tantrums. Last week we discussed where tantrums might be coming from, for family members of all ages, as well as how to get through the tantrum itself. Today, we want to discuss life after the tantrum. Galatians 6:1 reminds us that if anyone has done something wrong, we are to gently help them get back on the right path - annnnd - that we must avoid behaving in the same way ourselves. We must point out to our loved one that we are willing to have this extremely uncomfortable conversation because we care for them and want future times together to go more smoothly. Also, remember that in Matthew 18:15 and 16 we are to first discuss the matter directly one-on-one, but if that does not help, we may need to involve more family members in the conversation. Now, this chapter of scripture does go on to say that if that doesn’t clear up the matter, then go to church leadership. The temper tantrums we are addressing, which we well-defined in part one, might not necessarily be a church matter, but the advice is still the most solid as far as one-on-one, small family discussion, and then, if these tantrums do become part of a bigger sin issue, going to your church’s pastor or mentoring program would be a very good step. Likewise, parents, realize that if you are the one who threw the tantrum, your child may not have thought through their address of your temper tantrum. They will not fully understand it or deal with it as an adult would, but do not forget Paul’s encouragement to Timothy in 1 Timothy 4:12 and Titus 2:15. No one is to be despised or dismissed because of their youth. If the Holy Spirit uses your child’s words or cries to convict you of your wrong, accept it. So, let’s get to the South African College of Applied Psychology’s five points to help us navigate life after a temper tantrum, especially after an adult tantrum. 1. Point out that while they are allowed to feel angry or frustrated how they expressed their feelings was not appropriate or appreciated 2. Ask them why they responded in the way that they did 3. Find out how they would feel if your roles were reversed 4. Ask them what they would do if you behaved like they did 5. Ask them what they think can be done in future to curtail a similar outburst As we often say, communication is key to solving problems. Listening is so quickly dismissed from the communication process when our emotions are high, so we must listen to one another, and that means letting the family member who had the tantrum speak clearly about their thoughts, feelings, and musings. AFTER LISTENING, be reminded of Ephesians 4:29, and do not respond in a negative way but choose your words wisely to help rebuild the relationship. Showing understanding and compassion validates your loved one’s feelings, even if you do not agree with them. Setting boundaries and sharing your expectations can help to teach your loved one, especially the kiddos, responsibility. Many news stories abound today about two people who did not seem capable of controlling themselves and giving in temper tantrums resulting in divorce, custody issues, court case, and more. In some situations, it comes back to narcissism or manipulation, but in others, it is that a person has never heard how fully negative their temper tantrum is affecting their loved ones. I know it sounds crazy, but there are people who just aren’t impacted as much by a tantrum, and they see it as “blowing off steam” or just being dramatic. But, in a family we must clearly communicate how another person’s behavior impacts us. Briefly, let’s address that some people are afraid of the emotions they are capable of, and instead of a meltdown or outburst, they will shut down. The silent treatment is often what follows. Neither a tantrum nor the extreme of shutting down is good. And, both can be addressed in the same steps we...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. We are instructed in God’s word to live life in a “one anothering” way - to love one another, to forgive one another, to encourage one another, and so many more. The two words “one another” are used approximately 100 times in the Bible. Variations of it abound in Scripture as well. So, I ask, how exactly does a family ‘one another’ when someone has a tantrum? Note, we said ‘someone,’ not just a child. Adults might say after our own tantrums, “Sorry for overreacting.” Mental health experts and counselors may have a variety of definitions for terms, but whether you call it overreacting, a tantrum, meltdown, outburst, breakdown, whatever, we all - all ages - get to a point of feeling overwhelmed. We have trouble calmly voicing our needs and controlling our emotions. Unfortunately, at times our response to a situation can be intense, to say the least. Now, we are not talking about someone who is narcissistic or manipulative using temper tantrums to control others. You may very well have someone like that in your family; if that person refuses therapy, then you will need safe boundaries and get into counseling yourself. A former colleague and friend of mine recently wrote an article about the abuse he, his mother, and his siblings were subjected to while he grew up. He pointed out well-meaning Christians suggested that his family “suffer well” through the abuse. We must take this moment to say explicitly… if you are in an unsafe situation, get to safety. There may be people who do not understand, who tell you to change your own behavior (for example, “well, what did you do to make him angry?”), but Christ-followers must protect one another well. Likewise, if anyone close to you is in an unsafe situation, get them to safety and encourage them to continue to prioritize protecting themselves and the children. Also, please note that sensory disruptions are different than tantrums. They may look the same but they are not, so parents, you must be aware of your child’s needs, especially if they have any neuro-divergent issues. Remember, toddler tantrums are a normal part of development. Learning emotional self-control is a process, and the brain’s developing the neural pathways for healthy emotional processing takes time. Rest, food, and actually being listened to are the big three needs for our little ones. All that being said, let us point out briefly that toddler, adolescent, and adult temper tantrums are processed and developed out of different areas of the brain. Toddlers and adolescents are primarily using the amygdala - the emotional brain center. So, yes, they are overly emotional. Adolescents can also be having hormonal washes that complicate their dealing with stimuli (such as, thinking dad is yelling when he isn’t). Thus, kinda - in a way, adolescent tantrums are also a typical part of development. Adults read emotions from others through their pre-frontal cortex which is the logical area, but when we adults are overwhelmed, even that becomes much more difficult. A family must realize that we each have different triggers. Anxiety, stress, depression, and hunger are just a few things that may contribute to the feelings of being overwhelmed. Of course, there are also sensory considerations even within neuro-typical family members, routine changes, communication breakdown, illness, and major life events to consider. So, what do we do when someone we love has a tantrum? You cannot reason with someone in the middle of a temper tantrum. So, if a loved one has a tantrum: 1. You may need to walk away completely from the situation. 2. Or, if you must stay nearby for any reason, so that you do not get angry yourself, distract yourself with something else while your loved one calms down. 3. And, make sure you are keeping calm by praying. Commit Philippians 4:6-7 to memory as you work through tantrums with a loved one, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and

Good morning, Five Minute Families. We are closing out our series that focuses in on four essential truths found in Romans. We have discussed God’s righteousness, His redemption, His resources available to us as individuals and to us as families, and now we will close this series discussing revival. In Romans we learn about Israel’s rejection of God’s gift and that the Gentiles became grafted into the tree of God’s family. But, we find throughout Romans that God’s heart is still for His people of Israel, and He desires revival in their hearts as well as in the hearts of all believers. Romans 1:16 states, “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.” You know, special three-day or even week-long revival services used to be a common practice of the church. Whether due to lack of time or money for preparation or the thought that the revival services are outdated, the reality in the 2020s is that many churches never consider holding any type of revival service. God loves revival as we see in Psalm 85:6 “Will you not revive us again, that your people may rejoice in you?” So, let us ask, what is revival? In the religious sense, it is defined as a reawakening of religious fervor, especially by means of a series of evangelistic meetings often called ‘revivals’. But, if we look to generic definition, we see that revival is an improvement in the condition or strength of something. Yes, evangelism is important, but we must also be renewed in our desire to grow more and more Christ-like. Revival can happen on the individual, family, small group, or corporate/church-wide level. Thus, this is where the family comes in. Just as a planned revival event at church takes work to accomplish, so does revival in the home. Being a Christian is more than just our moment of salvation; it is a moment by moment, day by day choice to grow more Christ-like. Let’s discuss five aspects of revival for a five-minute family. 1. So, Five-minute moms and dads, you must come to understand Romans 6, 7, and 8. In a simplistic summation, we are dead to sin, set free from the bondage of sin, and now we must learn how to walk in the Spirit. You need to pray, study, and meditate. And, then, pray, study, and meditate some more. If you don’t know how, ask your pastor and spiritual mentor for a recommendation on a workbook that will teach you the basics. 2. Second, you must spend time planning and organizing your family revival time. What do you want to study, when will you meet together, for how long each day, for how many days? You must continue to pray and prepare about the content you and your family will discuss. 3. Third, make sure you give the family time to prepare since this will be a change in the normal routine. Don’t plan a family revival during tournament season or midterms, but once you have found a time, make sure you let all the family members know the details. And, yes, moms, you may need to be a broken record in reminding everyone. 4. During your family revival time, be sure to carve out some time to discuss your personal testimonies and how you would share what God has done in your home with others in your circles of influence. 5. And, finally, remember to follow through after the revival time with those action points God called you to or revealed as your next steps. Encourage everyone in the family to come together at a church or community event and share how much they enjoyed learning more about God together. In fact, after a family revival time, consider hosting a community one. It can be a few days of revival study with one or two other families in your neighborhood. If you do expand, remember to include all members of your household in the preparations for the next revival. Each family member should be praying, organizing at their age-level, sharing what it upcoming with those invited, practicing stating succinctly what God has...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Last week we discussed how in Romans the Lord gives us sometimes unconventional resources we need to live righteous and redeemed lives, but since recording it, Kim and I really felt that we needed to add a second part and be more detailed about how a family together can utilize these resources of the Lord. Basically, as a Christian family, how are we to live? So, let’s revisit our five points from last week. 1. Sacrifice. Within the family, sacrifice is all too often a one-way street. Americans are big on the concept of ‘some people are givers and some are takers.’ However, as a family, each person must be willing to sacrifice, and that means, parents, that sometimes we have to make our children give something up that they want. It doesn’t come naturally to our flesh. You will have some kiddos who are more naturally inclined to compromise or sacrifice their own desires, but it is up to the parents to make sure that the kids’ sacrifices are kept in balance. Likewise, parents, if one of the adults of the household is more likely to sacrifice, then balance needs to be found there as well. 2. Service. Here at Clear View Retreat, one of the things that we encourage families to do TOGETHER is to serve. We know a family who serve together every year at their church’s vacation Bible school and also once a year at a refugee camp. One really neat thing to watch with the family at VBS was that the parent most involved in the planning and preparations had the full support of her family during the weeks and months leading up to the actual VBS. Likewise, as a family, they scheduled vacation days to coincide with vacation Bible school. Such sacrifice and service TOGETHER. 3. Submission. In Romans 13, submission to governing authorities is the focus. Parents, in this day of political vitriol, we must set the example of submission. We need to share God’s truth in light of political and governing situations, but if we do not set a good example for our children, I promise you this is one area in which we will fail. I am going to go here… neither hanging flags with cuss words nor chanting expressions such as Let’s Go Brandon is God-honoring behavior. Just as a huge billboard read that Trump was God’s elected official, we see in Scripture that Biden is, too. We need to pray for all of our governing leaders, and we need to work hard to change unjust laws, but Scripture is clear that we must do so in God-honoring ways. Our children are watching. 4. Sensitivity. Being sensitive to the points that others find important is fundamental in a family unit. Some of our spouses or children are weaker in faith than others. We once knew a couple in which one of the spouses felt very strongly that Jesus was our Sabbath and thus doing tasks around the house on a Sunday was fine. His wife, however, felt that it was sinful to do chores on Sunday. Not only were they not sensitive to one another, they each took a judgmental stance against the other about this. It was one of many details that tore them apart. 5. Acceptance. Does your family build one another up or tear each other down? Sometimes, tearing each other down becomes a habit. God placed each of you together, and He brought together different strengths and weaknesses, ultimately for the benefit of each of you. Realize that adopting God’s attitude of acceptance brings not just peace but also a home life that produces kindness, security, and joy. We must ‘make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.’ (Romans 14:19) Last week, we also touched briefly on communication skills because all of the above resources work better with good communication. Just as Romans 14:19 alludes to our speech, many verses discuss our communication skills directly such as Proverbs 12:18 “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” We hope that if your family is struggling in the area of communication, you will go...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. How has the beginning of spring been treating you? The longer days, the warmer air, the buds showing up. There is something about the revival that spring brings, allowing us to take a deep, refreshing breath, and say, “ok, Lord, lead me into the next steps.” And, that is exactly what we encourage here at Clear View Retreat - no matter what has come before, no matter how dark, cold, or closed off the previous season of life was - take a deep, refreshing breath and step forward with the Lord. He gives us the resources we need. Today, we are discussing the third of four essentials of faith as Paul discusses them in Romans - the resources available to us now that we have Christ’s righteousness and we better understand His redemption. Basically, as Christians, how are we to live? Insight for Living answered, “The Christian life is a different life. And all the resources we need to live it are found in Christ Himself.” Specifically, today, we want to look a bit at Romans 12:1 through Romans 15:13. First, we need to realize that a resource we have is sacrifice. You might be thinking, exactly how is sacrifice a resource? Well, what is the definition of resource? “an action or strategy which may be adopted in adverse circumstances.” When life gets tough - and it WILL - we must know that if we choose to behave as Christ behaved, making sacrifices for God and for our families, we will be able to better face the norms and storms that come our way. As Insight for Living put it, “In light of the “mercies of God” [discussed in] Romans 1-11, Paul urged us in [chapter 12 verse 1] to ‘present [our] bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is [our] spiritual service of worship’.” Next, we see that sacrifice leads to service. As Romans 12:3-21 discusses the values of others and Christian ethics, we see that though we each have different gifts, we are one body in Christ, and we must “[s]hare with the saints in their needs; pursue hospitality.” (verse 13) Service is discussed throughout Scripture, and just as we are each given a gift, we must each give that gift back in service to others. By using the gifts we have, and being willing to do some of the tough or boring stuff that needs to be done, we free the body of Christ up to do his work of reaching the unreached and caring for the widows, orphans, poor, and suffering. Third, we need to remember submission to our leaders. It might sound strange to think of submission to our governing bodies as a Christian resource, but verse 2 of chapter 13 tells us that “the one who resists the authority is opposing God’s command.” We cannot draw closer to the Lord by opposing His Word. Obviously, that does not mean we cannot work to change bad laws, but we must show respect to those in authority. Fourth, we must remember to be sensitive to other Christ-followers and their beliefs. Romans 14:1 says, “Welcome anyone who is weak in faith, but don’t argue about disputed matters.” And the chapter continues to illustrate points of differences, but the one thing we must all agree on is Christ and Him crucified. We must not become stumbling blocks to one another, arguing about clean or unclean or about what to eat or drink. Don’t forget the reminder in verse 22, “Whatever you believe about these things, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves.” When we properly utilize God’s sensitivity and kindnesses to all believers, even if we have differences, we are better prepared to be more effective for His kingdom. Finally, we must be accepting of one another, not just sensitive to differences. We must build one another up. We must hope through endurance and live in harmony. This resource of acceptance promotes peace and reminds us that faith is what matters most, not whether we are pleased with ourselves. How many times can just one more sentence of information help stop a world of hurts, or how a...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. We are back in our series about four essentials of faith that we can see deeply defined in the book of Romans. Two weeks ago we began with righteousness, and we walked down the ‘Romans road’ together. This week we are exploring the concept of redemption. Once we are justified with God’s righteousness, we can live new lives - redeemed lives, and we can make new choices, even if the consequences of our old ones must still be dealt with. Please note that we are not the ones committing the act of redemption. We cannot work ourselves into redemption. Jesus committed the act of redemption by being sacrificed on the cross. We now live in the state of having been redeemed. We are free from the guilt and blame for having done something wrong. As Romans 8:1 states, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” In our state of redemption, we are being sanctified. We no longer have to live as we once did. Our righteous salvation through Jesus’s redemptive act does not mean we are free to sin because God just won’t see it anyway. Redemption means that we are free NOT to sin. Just as Romans seven illustrates how our old habits and behaviors cry out for us to walk back into sin, Romans eight steps us into the freedom our redemption brings us. Think of the redeemed life as receiving an inheritance from a grandparent. You could pay off debt. You could take your kids on an awesome vacation, or get a tutor or private coach. Maybe you wouldn’t have to have any more holes in your socks that irritate you all day long. Or, buy a car that isn’t falling apart, and pay to have the house roof fixed. If counseling is needed, you wouldn’t have to worry about the cost to get the help you or a loved one needs. Freedom from a few of the worries of life. So, how do we live out the redemptive, freeing truth of Jesus in a five-minute family? How do we live lives of redemption? 1. We must stop comparing ourselves to each other. Each member of the family is important - our roles, our personalities, our talents. Living a redeemed life requires that we see the goodness and value in each other. 2. We accept that suffering and difficulties will be a part of this earthly life. How often does someone in your household get frustrated with another member of the family. Sister made us late for school. Brother caused me to drop my project. Dad couldn’t make it to my basketball game. Mom didn’t listen to my story while watching a movie on her phone. Those aren’t major hurts and sufferings, but they are the little ones that cause hiccups and strife, leading to fighting and disrespectful behavior. We are not living a redeemed life if we are holding grudges in the difficulties of life. 3. We celebrate together. Celebrations bring joy, honor, and energy into a family. By celebrating each other’s accomplishments, no matter how small, we help to impart our values and priorities. Now, remember we are not just talking about winning first place at the track meet, though definitely celebrate that! We are talking about personal improvements, small triumphs over a fear, and more. One of our sons has learning disabilities, and after only two interactions with a set of class materials, he was able to score a B- on a test. We were proud of him and were joyful in celebrating that accomplishment. 4. We disciple one another. A redeemed believer knows that it is only through God’s word that we can fully know we are loved and cared for. The security, freedom, and peace that His word offers are incomparable. Nothing will ever change God’s love for us. When we intentionally choose an attitude of discipleship and healthy habits of discipleship, the redeemed life becomes not just second nature but transformative. 5. We live fearlessly. We are in Christ. Jim and I like to watch the show ‘This is Us.’ The matriarch of the show is sick, and she asks her adult children to promise her that they will live fearlessly. It is...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Weather patterns across the US have been crazy with late spring-like weather mere hours before freezing temperatures and a blanket of snow. Memes abounded last week about the “spring of deception” or “third winter.” Our scheduled plans had to change yet again to accommodate something we cannot control. Part of life is coming to terms with what we can control and what we cannot, and seeing how powerful and mighty God is in the process. Today, we are beginning a series to discuss how a family can dive deep into four essentials of faith as Paul discusses them in Romans - righteousness, redemption, resources, and revival. The term righteousness appears thirty-five times in Romans. Righteousness is defined as ‘the quality of being morally right or justifiable’ or as ‘acting in accord with divine or moral law.’ And, you know, it is intriguing how even the slang meaning for righteous touches on the depth of the concept wherein the slang use is defined as ‘genuine or excellent.’ Paul defined righteousness as “inward and outward conformity to God’s law” (Insight for Living Ministries). As Romans 1:17 explains, “For in [the gospel] the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith, just as it is written: The righteous will live by faith.” Believers must understand that we cannot have righteousness apart from God and His working in our lives. If righteousness is not possible apart from faith in God, then, parents, it is fundamentally important that our children understand what it means to be a Christ-follower. We would like to walk you down what is commonly referred to in Christian lingo as “The Romans Road.” Each time the discussion occurs, and, yes, it should occur more than once over the years, you will see growth in your kids, and in yourself as a disciple of Christ. 1. To begin, ask “Are you a good person?” No matter their answer, the truth lies in Romans 3:23, 3:10, and 5:12. So, with littles, you can share the simple statement that no one is perfect, and we will make bad decisions sometimes. With older children, we encourage you to read the Scriptures and discuss the child’s thoughts and feelings about them as well as the term righteousness. 2. Whether they answer yes or no to the previous question, you can continue the conversation with, “is your sin really that bad?” The answer is found in Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.” For littles, we need to say something such as even though not listening seems like it doesn’t really matter, it shows that our hearts are set on ourselves and not God. 3. Continue to get your kids to consider what to do with their sin problem by asking, “So, since we have seen that no one is sin-free, how can there be any hope for you?” Point out the gift that God sent in the form of Jesus and the relief we can receive from Him from Romans 5:8 “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” 4. Next, ask, “do you know how you can be saved from the bad consequences of your sin?” Read Romans 10:9 together “If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” For littles, again, keep it simple: you tell God you know you make mistakes and as you get older and better understand about Jesus, you can ask Him to be your Savior. For older kids, be sure to add in verse ten “One believes with the heart, resulting in righteousness, and one confesses with the mouth, resulting in salvation.” So that they see the connection to righteousness. If your child wishes to make this confession now, allow time for prayer and conversation. 5. Remember, we often doubt what has happened because there isn’t a lightning bolt or some cosmic event that we can tangibly identify. Your child may be wondering, “did God accept me?” Romans 10:13, 5:1, and 8:1 all assure us that He...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. We are Jim and Kim Nestle with Clear View Retreat, a family retreat ministry that reaches out to families in both the ‘storms’ and ‘norms’ of life. We are thankful that you have joined us today as we discuss the Christian family’s identity. Please note that when we speak about ‘Christian family identity,’ we are not talking about the way the world has warped the term ‘Christian identity.’ We were both shocked and appalled to do an internet search and see that the search yielded information about racist, anti-Semitic, or white supremacy ideologies. Which, by the way, are not in any way, shape, or form truly Christ-like thoughts or behaviors. What we are talking about is TRUE biblical, Christian identity - the identities we are to hold and mold that are based on God’s love, mercy, and forgiveness as well as His work on the cross and our redemption. During the family camps we host here, we discuss family identity, which we have done a series on and you can find in our podcast archives under the Family Camp series, but today we want to suggest a five-step, five-minute Family Identity Challenge. Each of the five steps should take about five minutes, with a five-minute break in the middle, for a total of 30 minutes. Now, as always, adjustments must be made for families with littles, typically under the age of six or seven, depending on attention spans. You may need to allow the littles to participate for the first minute of each step, sharing their thoughts and then excusing them to play quietly nearby or color. Parents, you are going to need to do some prep work that will take a bit more time. The book of Ephesians has a lot of detail about our identities in Christ. Likewise, you can prayerfully review specific verses that God has in His word about our identities in Him. Some of those verses are: Galatians 4:6-7, 2 Corinthians 5:17, John 1:12, Ephesians 1:5, 1 Corinthians 6:17, 1 Peter 2:9, 1 John 3:1-2, 2 Corinthians 13:13, Ephesians 3:18, Ephesians 6:18, Philippians 4:22, and Psalm 34:9. We recommend that to begin with, you choose verses that focus in on one aspect of our identity in Christ. Three of those themes you could choose from are our being new creations, that we are children of God, or that God refers to us as saints, not sinners. For your family meeting time, follow these five steps: First, discuss what our identity is in Christ. As Martyn Lloyd-Jones says, “our greatest need is to become who we already are in Christ.” Remember that not everyone sitting at your family table is a believer at that moment, so be mindful. Second, sit in silence for five minutes and contemplate what you heard. This can be a hard step, but it is really important to try to silence the noises of this earthly life and open our hearts to God’s prompting. If you or your kiddos are wiggly ones, you can allow doodling or focused journaling. There is no right way, but most people do find that quiet meditation on God’s truth helps us to see better what He is revealing. Third, come back together and share with one another one false belief you may hold or a part of God’s identity for His children that you find hard to believe. Parents and children alike must be cautioned not to sit in judgment of one another or try to fix someone’s false belief. Mom and dad, big brothers and sisters, we are not meant to be one another’s holy spirit. Listen and pray. And, remember Romans 14:1 admonishes us all, “As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions.” And, if you are still struggling in a false belief area, please seek wise counsel. Fourth, review verses that specifically touch on God’s truth about our identities. This is where we can trust that God’s word does not return void. We share His truth, His words, and thus encourage one another without judgment or frustration. And, finally, choose a worship song and honor Him and the new identity He gives each of us in His...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. We have all heard the love verses. Even people who do not attend church are likely familiar with the “Love is patient. Love is kind” beginning of 1 Corinthians 13:4. We’ve discussed the types of love here on Five Minute Family before, so that isn’t where we are hitting on today. Today, we are looking more deeply into the verbs found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. The beginning of these verses explain why love is important. To paraphrase John MacArthur: Having a right understanding and expression of genuine, godly love is necessary to fully use the gifts from God or even have complete knowledge of God himself. The first eight verbs in verses four and five are linking verbs describing what love is and what love does. The next eight verbs are at the end of verse five and through the beginning of verse eight. Those verbs are action words. Thus, we can conclude that love is both descriptive AND active. Let’s dive deeper specifically into the four action verbs of 1 Corinthians 13:7 - “[Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” “Bear all things.” ‘To bear’ means ‘to cover with silence.’ Let’s look at an example: Parents, shaming your child as a means of punishment and then posting it for views is NOT bearing all things. Do not blast on social media when a loved one has wronged you or sinned in some way. 2 Corinthians 2:5-8 reminds us, “If anyone has caused pain, he has caused pain not so much to me but to some degree—not to exaggerate—to all of you. This punishment by the majority is sufficient for that person. As a result, you should instead forgive and comfort him. Otherwise, he may be overwhelmed by excessive grief. Therefore, I urge you to reaffirm your love to him.” So, in our parenting example, even in the midst of your anger, there is an opportunity to reaffirm your love. “Believe all things.” ‘To believe’ means ‘to have faith in / to entrust a thing to one.’ Our spouses and children mess up. We mess up. We may not believe in the person themselves because of past issues, BUT we can believe in God and His redemptive and transformative power, and thus, circle back to believe in the person we love having the potential to begin to act more in the image of God. The flip side of realizing that your loved one is made in the image of God, is realizing that you are, too. Do you believe in God to transform you, too? “Hope all things.” ‘To hope’ means ‘to expect or confide.’ Once we have learned to control our mouths and view our loved one in the image of God, we can then see the hope of the goodness of God’s love in them. We can motivate, we can encourage, we can dream together of better moments that lead to better days, months, and years. In our hope we employ faith in the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 “Endure all things.” ‘To endure’ means ‘to stay under / to remain.’ When everything falls apart again, and it will, whether it is because something happens to us or we make a mistake that causes problems, we must remain. Proverbs 24:16 puts it this way, “Though a righteous person falls seven times, he will get up, but the wicked will stumble into ruin.” And, Jeremiah 8:4 says, “This is what the Lord says: Do people fall and not get up again? If they turn away, do they not return?” We must keep going. We must endure. While we may think of bearing with one another and enduring through all things as negative actions we must experience, the reality is that to hold the belief and hope together, they have to be sandwiched within something. It is by working through the tougher times that we can see God in our loved ones and we can feel His hope in all our family experiences, whether it is a norm or storm of life. Matthew Henry explained the need for all four aspects, with the good sandwiched within in the bad as this: “[Agape love] will endeavor to confine the passions within proper limits.” God created us for...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Today we are finishing our series on fasting. We are to the T in our FAST acronym: F - First things first, A - accountability, S - satisfaction, and T - trust. A few questions to kick us off: Would you trust God if you have your life threatened? To have you sold into modern-day slavery? To be thrown in jail under false accusations? To be ignored for years? It seems preposterous that God would allow unspeakable evils to happen in this world. God is a God of love, after all. Yet, how much do we trust Him when the sinful world we live in falls on us? Threats, slavery, and false accusations all exist still today, though we may want to bury our heads in the sand. And, they existed and all occurred against Joseph, the eleventh son of Jacob, son of Isaac, son of Abraham. Joseph was disliked by his brothers, sold into slavery, falsely accused, but still rose to the second highest office of the land in which he lived. As the years marched on, Joseph trusted God to make sense of the evils set against him. And, when he was in a position to save not only his father and closest brother, he also saved all the brothers who were cruel to him, cruel to their father by deception, and more. He said in Genesis 50:20 “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good.” Can we say that? How much do we fully trust that God will work ALL things for His glory and our good? I certainly couldn’t see how our losing a longed-for child through an ectopic pregnancy, being in ongoing pain from the surgery that followed, and then losing the house we had waited for for so long could possibly have a positive meaning. It was just suffering, plain and simple. Now, suffering is part of this earthly life and will draw us closer to the Lord. So, I suffered, knowing logically that I would learn something but wondering what on earth it could possibly be. One evening, someone I dearly love who does not believe in God, asked how I was doing. After years of lovingly sharing about the Lord only to receive cold looks or the person walking out, he stayed and listened. He listened to me speak of grieving my little one’s life and how I knew that I needed to trust God despite the losses being costly and disappointing. They were teaching me something. I shared that I had hope that that baby’s life mattered greatly to the God of the universe and its life had meaning. As I rambled, as I am prone to do, I spoke of the many sacrifices of Christ and my joys of living for Him. After I went home, I realized, that the death of our baby had allowed the longest, most open, least-filtered conversation with my loved one about my God and my heart toward Him. And, then, this death made sense; our baby’s extremely short existence had purpose. Trusting the Lord allowed me to be part of something greater that He is working on. He is always faithful. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." As your family fasts together, make sure you intentionally focus on building your trust in the Lord. Some suggestions on how to do that include: 1. Work together to perform some trust exercises with your children. 2. When you get hungry, have a plan for drawing your focus to the Lord so you can see how well He can fill you… worship the Lord with music you love, scripture you want to memorize, or even an area you want to take a hike in. Or, rest. You are working on less energy. The kiddos are working on focusing on something other than their fleshy desire for sugars, whatever it is, so allow time to rest to focus on trusting the Lord to get you through, not just busy-ness. 3. Discuss areas where you each lack trust in the Lord and pray for each other in those areas. 4. Do not let your feelings lead you. Look to the truth of Scripture, remember all that God has done in your life, and then re-evaluate your...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. How is your fasting as a family going? Today is our third in the series on fasting. We are using the FAST acronym to discuss this spiritual practice. F - First things first, A - accountability, S - satisfaction, and T - trust. Today is about satisfaction, specifically finding our satisfaction in the Lord. As Philippians 4:19 says, “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Before we fully discuss satisfaction in the Lord, we must differentiate between self-satisfaction and Christ-satisfaction. Parents are used to training kids to become satisfied through self-soothing by encouraging the use of pacifiers, blankies, teddy bears, you get the idea. Adults use food, drugs, inappropriate materials and more to become satisfied with where they are in the world. Obviously, we CAN train our flesh, and we are experts at doing so for using an item for comfort. Just as the rich man in Luke 12 was satisfied with his wealth, we can become satisfied with the fruits of our labors and our personal efforts at comfort. Yet, Christ-satisfaction is a satisfaction unlike any comfort item we could possibly find. Christ won’t add shame, guilt, weight, or burdens to our load. We need not worry about the lost teddy bear when our comfort is in the Lord. We often want to distract ourselves from any pain, and the pain of hunger during fasting is no exception. But, we need to face the hunger so that we can turn not to food for our satisfaction but to God. But, how do we do that is not perfectly clear. Verses abound about finding satisfaction in God: 1. And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. Isaiah 58:11 2. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Matthew 5:6 3. The fear of the Lord leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied; he will not be visited by harm. Proverbs 19:23 4. For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things. Psalm 107:9 5. For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish. Jeremiah 31:25 Here at Clear View Retreat, we want to help families find practical ways to apply God’s word. Our suggestions in how to find satisfaction in the Lord are not the exhaustive list. We are not offering a formula; if there is one, it is found solely in immersing yourself and your family in Jesus Christ and finding what works best for you all in each season that you walk through. What we are proposing are activities you might find helpful. Be intentional for at least five minutes a day - together - to speak about the Lord and His goodness or His attributes. Keep the focus on Him and you will feel more satisfied than you would believe possible. During family fasting time, make it a priority to write down both individual and family blessings that are pouring out. You know, like the old song, count your many blessings. Continue to discuss what about your family identity God is affirming and what in your family identity God is encouraging you to change. Write these ideas down in a journal and review them in future family fasts. The satisfaction that comes from seeing God’s fingerprint on your lives is peace that goes beyond understanding. Tied closely to family identity is family purpose. Think about the places God has each family member and how that family member can impact others for Christ. Brainstorm ideas together on how each family member can impact their circle of influence for the Lord. When we know and live our purpose, satisfaction is fulfilling and Christ-focused. And, discuss how at the end of a hard, long day, there is sweet satisfaction in a job well done just like in a God-honoring fast. Think of fasting like mountaintop experiences and valleys. There will be moments of...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. Did any of you choose to enter into a season of fasting? Are you still planning how to fast as a family? Join us this morning as we continue our deep-dive into fasting. We are using FAST as an acronym to discuss this oft-forgotten spiritual discipline. F - First things first, A - accountability, S - satisfaction, and T - trust. We are to the A - accountability. Please note that when we are talking about fasting accountability, we are not talking about the need for someone to take responsibility for wrong behavior. We know through numerous verses in scripture that fasting is supposed to be a part of the believer’s life; thus, fasting is a spiritual discipline, not a punishment. And, as a discipline, it is a skill and set of details to be learned. As such, that skill can be evaluated and reviewed and improved upon. THAT is what we mean by fasting accountability. Just as in any other area of life, parents and children working together to grow in knowledge, love, and wisdom is the goal. Before we go further, just as last week, a word of caution - please remember that while we are encouraging food fasting for everyone during a family fast, when children participate in a fast, parents must be watchful, careful, and guiding of their children. Children should not be going into a caloric restriction or prolonged time of fasting. They are growing and changing and need food much more frequently than adults do. We are suggesting sugary treats, drinks, or only one specific food group being limited. So, back to accountability… how do we engage in accountability during a family fast: First, set aside time early in each fasting day to encourage one another specifically in the food fast just as 1 Thessalonians 5:11 tells us: “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” Second, in a personal fast, we are cautioned in Matthew 6 to keep our fast secret or quiet. But, within the family for teach-ability and accountability, we need to stay open and vocal about what we are experiencing. For example, parents, we can say, out loud, “wow I am so hungry right now, so I am going to take this moment to pray.” Or, when your child comes up and asks for a piece of candy, lovingly and gently remind him or her that this is a time of fasting and asking them if they would like to pray with you instead. Third, at the end of each fasting day or timeframe, review how each of you did. Jeremiah 17:10 reassures us to let “the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.” Again, in the mindset of accountability, this is to encourage each person to be honest with him or herself as well as receive feedback about what they can do the next time the family has a fasting time. Fourth, just as with any devotion or time of learning for children, it is best to keep any discussion focus on only one point, so if you are chatting with your child their lack of sticking with the fast, you need to keep the discussion short, explaining again why God encourages us to fast, praying together for encouragement to try again, and then moving on. James 5:16 states, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” And, finally, don’t forget to keep the purpose of your family fast in the forefront of your minds and ask God to bring clarity and revelation, even during the accountability discussion times. Five-minute families, remember fasting is about cultivating a hunger for God. Just as He describes a land flowing with milk and honey, we want ourselves and our children to realize the rich sweetness of being filled by God. We must be cautious and conscientious in our accountability with one another during a time of family fasting. We thank you for joining us this week. Next week, we will explore how to find our...

Gooood morning, Five Minute Families. We are getting excited here at Clear View Retreat as we prepare for new family camps, marriage retreats, and more as 2022 begins to book up. Each family’s unique purposes and identities are causes for celebration and encouragement, and through discussing and applying God’s relationship principles, we can deepen our family discipleship and biblical community. Please check out more information about our ministry at clearviewretreat.org. For this week, Jim and I both thought we had discussed biblical fasting with you before, our fabulous five-minute families, but other than a couple of passing references and one devo about digital fasting, we couldn’t find an in-depth discussion about that. So, for February we are going to deep-dive into fasting. We are going to use FAST as an acronym to discuss fasting. F - First things first, A - accountability, S - satisfaction, and T - trust. Matthew 6:16 begins with “when you fast.” It does not begin “if you fast.” The verses before this also say, “when you give” and “when you pray.” That means we need to take a moment and evaluate how well we are pursuing fasting as a clearly biblical behavior. Please note that while we are encouraging food fasting throughout this series, it is not wise or safe for children to fast in the same way that adults do. Children can fast from a particular sweet treat (or all sweet treats), depending on their ages and needs. Children can forego all beverages instead of water, again, depending on their ages and specific dietary needs. You get the idea. Please don’t force your children to fast extensively or admonish them if they break whatever aspect of fasting they are striving for. Before beginning a period of fasting together as a family, review together verses about what fasting is and is not. Acts 13:2, Daniel 10:3, Esther 4:16, Nehemiah 1:4, and Psalm 35:13 are a few of the verses to get you started. JustDisciple.com has a couple of articles that may help you get started. One is titled ‘Types of Christian Fasting & What’s Right for You’ and the other is ‘How to Honor God With Your Fasting & 20 Tips for Beginners.’ Discuss the various reasons for fasting. As we stated in our Digital Fast devotional: “In different examples of fasting in Scripture, we see different purposes for fasting. Acts 14:23 illustrates fasting to seek God’s wisdom. In Ezra, God’s people are seeking deliverance or protection. In Jonah, the people of Nineveh fasted to repent and ask God to save them. When the Israelites in Judges 20 needed help to gain victory over their enemies, they fasted first.” Make sure you discuss YOUR reason for entering into your family fast. As you can tell from Scripture, the reason may change from fast to fast, but you must be aware of the reason. Just as we mentioned before specifically about children, each person’s needs - adults included - should be evaluated to see how he or she can best participate in a family food fast. If someone has medication to take with food, that person must have food. Someone who is experiencing hypoglycemia needs to eat. Some of these examples may seem obvious, but unfortunately, there are people who in their eagerness or desire for exactness must hear that they are not failing in a fast if exceptions or modifications need to be made. When your family fasts may change depending on life circumstances. Some families have a standard time of year that they enter into a season of fasting. Some families only fast when they are part of a church family that is fasting together. Some families enter into a mindfulness of fasting once a week or once a month. Start small. For example, we named this devotional the Five Minute Family to encourage families to start with five intentional minutes a day, buuuut we don’t want you to stop at five minutes. We want those five minutes to snowball into habits of positive, godly interactions. So, just as with the five-minute concept, start small...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. We are finishing our ‘Begin with the End in Mind’ series. As we have journeyed backward through milestones, we reach the milestone every parent anticipates… the end of childhood. Of course, our children think that end comes sooner than it does, and some of us parents who are ready for the kiddos to fly the coop will still miss them as terribly as the parents who have been crying and posting about all the “last firsts” - such as the last first day of school. If we are able, we will have 18 years of constant, daily influence. After that, adulthood will greatly alter our relationships with our children. We once knew a family whose seventeen-year-old daughter was making many unwise decisions and ignoring all of her parents’ efforts to help her, but when most families would have washed their hands and determined that it was just too late to make a difference, this family knew that legally their influence would change dramatically after her 18th birthday, so they acted radically in her final months with them - sending her to live with family who would be super strict and where she would have no contacts outside of trusted family. Nine years later they have a beautifully redeemed relationship in which both parents and the now-adult child are thankful for the last-ditch effort her parents made to make a positive difference in her life. Her parents knew that the end goal of parenting a minor is to produce a godly adult - not a successful adult, not a happy adult, not even a productive adult, but a godly adult. Why does that mindset - the mindset of godliness - matter so much more than success, happiness, productivity, or anything else really? 1 Timothy 4:8 reminds us, “godliness is beneficial in every way, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” So, biblically speaking, what is godliness? Godliness is not just behaving morally. Godliness is not serving consistently at church. Through his study and exegesis of the story of Enoch, Jerry Bridges summaries that “we could accurately say he was devoted to God. [and] this is the meaning of godliness.” Devotion to God is godliness. Godliness will then lead us to be kind, to work hard, to enjoy life, to serve, and all the rest. So, five-minute families, how do you being with the end in mind and work toward raising godly children: First, if you are still a parent to young children, make some wise choices now and be consistent. Read some great Christian parenting books. Speak with some older Christian couples in the church to get their recommendations, and pray. Pray without ceasing. Second, if you have made mistakes, ask forgiveness and work to make it right. Hezekiah did what he could to raise Manasseh in the knowledge of the Lord, but Manasseh turned his back on the Lord for a number of years. When Manasseh sought out the Lord and humbled himself, God delivered him and Manasseh began to make the changes to honor and glorify the Lord. You can make those changes, too. Third, realize that your time is shorter than you think. If providing the most toys for your kids (whether those are little kid toys or big kid toys) keeps you from spending time with your kids, then you need to rethink your priorities. Hospice care and other caregivers report that they have never heard anyone wish on their death bed that they had spent more time at the office. Work hard, parents, but play hard, too. Find the balance between provision of needs and provision of YOUR time. Fourth, as I have told our boys for years… It is never too late to do the right thing! If your children are now adults and you are just coming to the Lord, you can still apologize for the difficulties that may have come from living a godless life when they were younger. Understand their possible skepticism, but keep your eyes on Jesus and point to Him whenever you can. And, fifth, if you have more than one child, realize that you have changed as life has changed....

Good morning, Five Minute Families! As we work backwards through life in our Begin with the End in Mind series, we come to the end of working years. Many people refer to this time as retirement. Retirement is defined as “the action or fact of leaving one's job and ceasing to work” or “withdrawal from one’s active working life.” The reality is that if you retired or plan to retire at age 62, which is the US average, then you have another 16 years of doing nothing if you live until 78, again the national average. Now, a couple of years ago, most of us would have said that 16 years of doing nothing sounds pretty good, but we have seen on a global scale what happens when folks do nothing for prolonged periods of time. Mental health complications rise, and physical ailments rise as well - well, with the exception of pre-term labor, but that is a different topic for a different day. A few years ago at a conference many of the speakers and counselors recommended redirection instead of retirement. A great example is Jim’s mom. She retired after more than 40 years of hard work, and then out of a need for routine and getting moving, she joined the YMCA. From there, she was hired and then spent the last 16 years teaching swim classes for seniors. She didn’t think about redirection in a formal way, but she knew herself and she knew that she needed to keep moving for her own well-being. Job 12:12 reminds us that “[w]isdom is with the aged, and understanding in length of days.” Many of the younger generation could learn much from my mother-in-law, me included. Unfortunately, we don’t live close enough to my mom to include her in every day events, but I wish we did so that our sons had more of her influence their lives. Thankfully, we moved while our boys were still young and that move brought us significantly closer to Kim’s family. Each member of the older generation realizes just how true 1Corinthians 7:29 is - “the time is limited.” One gentleman in his 80s who came to CVR for a grief retreat after the death of his wife is exploring the option of hosting a Family Camp for his children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. He wants an intentional time of sharing God’s truth with his family while providing a fun and refreshing weekend for them all. As God says in Malachi 4:6, “He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents.” Five-minute families, we must be intentional about incorporating all generations in our lives. For the older generation, we suggest that you: Choose to engage even if you feel left out. We know families that assume if grandma and grandpa want to be included they will ask about upcoming events, but grandparents often lose track of time so that events and what events are typical for certain stages of life don’t necessarily jump out to them. It takes both the older generation asking to be informed of events and the younger generation - the parent generation - communicating the calendar. Remember, don’t retire but redirect. You’ll have a greater life expectancy - one study showed that those with more social ties tend to live longer regardless of other factors, and a higher quality of life at that. As well as you get to impact the next generation. Hebrews 13:16 states, “Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.” Share your wisdom and joy. And, also, please volunteer at church - Sunday school and youth events. I loved hearing of the seniors of our church hosting a youth night and playing games with the teens of our church. Take to heart Psalm 92:12-14: “The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the Lord; they flourish in the courts of our God. They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green.” For the younger generation, we encourage you to: Get grandma and grandpa more involved. It can be frustrating when...

Good morning, Five Minute Families! We are continuing our “Begin with the End in Mind” series. Last week we discussed staying focused as Christ followers on the fact that heaven is our ultimate home, and we need to live as citizens of heaven now. Today, as we begin this year with the end of mind we are discussing our earthly end - our dying days. Psalm 71:9 cautions us, “Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent.” There will come a time when the mighty man who worked the oil fields needs help standing and his strong grandson will have to be his legs. There is dignity in the cycle of life, and we need not be afraid of it. Galatians 6:2 tells us to [b]ear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. And the beginning of Matthew 25:35 says, “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink.” When our loved ones are nearing the end of their lives, we must move to serve and comfort them. So, five-minute families, how can we begin with the end in mind in regards to end of life issues for our loved ones and ourselves? First, make a plan. We need to get a plan in place so that our loved ones know our wishes once we are no longer able to communicate those desires completely. But, remember, in making your plans, your loved ones will be the ones taking care of the details. Be thoughtful of them as well as your own wants. And, sometimes, we listen simply to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. At a church where I attended a weekly Bible study, there was a woman with four young children; she and her husband were in their thirties. One day she felt an intense prompting of the Holy Spirit to write out her funeral arrangements and jotted a few notes if any of her children or husband should die. She shared with her pastor and friends how silly she felt, but that a weight lifted once it was written out. A few weeks later, she, her husband, and three of their four children died when their minivan was hit on the interstate by an out-of-control 18-wheeler. The peace that her family and loved ones had because of her written plan was almost palpable as they walked in grief. Second, invest in end of life needs. We must consider finances of caregiving when that time arrives. 1 Timothy 5:8 tells us, “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” My in-laws had different care plans in place so that when he needed home care, palliative care, and hospice care in succession, not only were those financially provided for, but they also had added assistance care so that my mother-in-law could focus on Papa Jerry instead of the house and household needs. Third, be understanding of different abilities. One of my dear friends has a gift that allows her to anticipate others’ needs before they are aware of the needs themselves. When her mother needed more and more involvement from her children, it was my friend who helped with bills, shopping, cleaning, as well as regular visiting, medical appointments, and more. Her family members became so comfortable in letting her do everything, that they did not step up in the times when they were needed. While her natural gifting and geographical location gave her a greater active role, other family members needed to be more mindful of helping both her and the matriarch of the family. Fourth, keep discussion open among family members. Some family members do not ever want to discuss end of life plans, even the ones willing to be there to help, but all family members need to be kept in the loop and at least given the option to engage in the discussions, even if they choose to opt out. Now, as you discuss who will do what and help where, really think about it… do you want that granddaughter who is always on her phone whom you have to call to ten times before she answers watching after grandpa whose only communication is barely a whisper?...

Good morning, Five Minute Families! Let’s begin this year with the end in mind. We aren’t talking about the end of 2022. We are going to do a series for the month of January looking at different life events, but we are going to begin with the end in mind. Why? Well, for starters, John 6:27 emphasizes, “Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you. For on him God the Father has set his seal.” Eternal life… Heaven… A believer’s end goal. Successful people suggest that we write down our long term goals, break them down into smaller short term goals, and always keep the end in our mind when we make little, everyday decisions that add up to produce the end goal. When we focus on accumulating wealth or fame or even simple pleasures here on earth, we are setting ourselves up to experience great losses. Ed Stetzer puts it this way: “Live in a contrast between now and not yet. Paul says we “groan while we are in this tent, burdened as we are” (2 Cor. 5:4). We groan because we are in this imperfect, broken, struggling reality, but we look forward to the time when that reality is replaced with something better, something greater.” Live now as a citizen of heaven. Bible.org in its article Developing A Heavenly Mindset says this: “Some have said it is possible to be “so heavenly minded that we are no earthly good.” However, when you look at the history of the church, it was those who were the most heavenly minded who did the most good.” So, five-minute families, how can we begin with the end in mind and be heavenly minded right now? First, don’t try to make heaven on earth for yourself. Matthew 6:19-21 inspires us to lay up our treasures in heaven. Specifically, it states, “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Have you ever cleaned the kitchen just to have your family members come in and make a mess again? Frustrating, isn’t it? Imagine that on the eternal scale. However, the work we do with heaven in mind has a lasting impact. Second, study who you are in Christ and to Christ. Understand that our position in heaven does not change no matter what is happening here on earth. Having a full understanding of who we are in Christ and to Christ gives us earthly peace about our heavenly home. Third, continuously examine your thoughts about heaven. Do you hold false beliefs about what heaven means or is? Make sure you write down what you think heaven is so that you are aware of the beliefs that are driving your thoughts and actions in this earthly life. Fourth, study scripture that explains or comments on heaven. As always, we must point back to Scripture - not our own thoughts about heaven or some theologian’s comments - but God’s Truth. By examining Revelation 7:15-17, John 14:2, Philippians 3:20, Matthew 24:35, and many more, we can get an accurate image of heaven and some of the depths of God’s abundant blessings in it. Fifth, look forward to sharing in Christ’s glory. Colossians 3:4 reminds us, “And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.” To look forward to the end goal of spending a sweet and glorious eternity in heaven with God, the riches of this world begin to pale in comparison and the cares and burdens are but speedbumps to slowly maneuver around as we continue on to our ultimate glorification. More fully, Colossians 3 verses 1 through 4 encourages us, “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. This is an interesting week in the US. For many, it is the down time between Christmas and the New Year. For some, it is the time of intensity as they work to wrap up many of the end-of-year tasks that absolutely must be completed. Christmas is barely over, and we may have already lost sight of the baby Jesus in the change of rhythm from holiday mode to new year mode. But, we must realize that this past holiday and this week in-between joyful evenings are not just about the food, fellowship, and gifts. It all - All. Everything. The food. The fellowship. The gifts. The downtime. The hustle and bustle. Everything. - everything should be about our Savior. For unto us a child was born. Not just any child of course. The Son of God. The Son of Man. The King of kings and Lord of Lords. Prince of peace. Jesus Christ. Emmanuel. Let’s turn our thoughts to 2 Corinthians 5:21 for a moment, “He made Him who knew no sin to be sin in our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” In that verse we hear the word might. Might. Is that what we are looking for in all the celebrations and gift exchanges, time sending New Year’s cards and staying up late playing games? Might. A look at the Greek word: ginomai used in that verse and a perusal through a lexicon gives us a definition: Be, become, come to pass. But the definition doesn’t take the mood and context into account. The mood adds details- specifically, direction to the verb. In this case, it directs it toward present or future probabilities. Possibilities - that’s what we are still on this earth for. The possibilities of more folks coming to a saving knowledge of Christ. The possibilities of deepening our knowledge of and relationship with the Lord. Possibilities in our family and friend relationships. Possibilities are impossibilities without the ‘might’ of Jesus Christ. You know, this year, we sent out a Christmas card that said on it “what a year!’ I was excited to get a card that exclaimed the excitement and chaos of the year. When a friend said she liked it, she pointed out that she wasn’t sure which way she should take it: “what a year!” (happy) or “what a year! (exhausted). Honestly, if you have listened for any length of time, just like my friend knew, you would know that the negative way could be a very real possibility of how I meant it. However, not once in the whole time of creating the photo or stuffing the envelopes with the photo did I think the exasperated “what a year!” For the past few weeks, I have been in a place of hopefulness. It has, quite honestly, been refreshing. The impossible is possible with the ‘might’ of Jesus Christ. Mights and ifs are only possible when we see the Truth. Our family for years has added different adornaments to our tree that focus on names and aspects of Jesus. They include: The Vine Light of the world Bright morning star Lion of Judah Lamb of God Bread of life King of kings Giver of living water Good shepherd The door Immanuel Savior Let’s take a look at one of the names that we can ascribe to Jesus: Jesus IS the prince of peace. You will not have peace simply because he is peace. If you accept him as the prince of peace and allow him to be the prince of peace in your life, you will experience peace. You will have his peace when you walk in it. It is always possible, but you MIGHT miss it if you don’t accept it. He will bring what we ourselves could never bring... Peace. Another example from our simple list: What about the Bread of life? We are filled by that bread only if we receive the gift of that bread and we eat of that bread. Think about each possibility. Each might. Each if. Challenge your family to focus on a descriptor or name for Jesus and see how you either accept or deny His goodness in your life. 2022 does not have to be a 2020 also. No matter what happens around the globe or in your town, you can seek the Lord’s peace, love, and joy, and...

Good morning, Five Minute Families! It’s Christmas week. Lights are strung in trees and on homes. Some loosely and haphazardly; some straight and timed blinking to music. The typical Christmas plays and nativity scenes abound. Just as someone pointed out in our Bible class this Sunday, the plays and scenes aren’t quite as accurate we would like to think, however. Mary and Joseph traveled to a crowded town with constant noise and smells. It is perfectly normal to dislike crowds. Some people simply feel frustrated by being delayed on their path, some are overstimulated by the noise - both auditory and visual, and some people have true social anxiety. It may have been difficult to find food, especially if there were no rooms to be found. That many people and animals would have been a continual cacophony that would have been wearing and even frustrating if you were pregnant, hangry, and just plain tired from the journey. Let’s think of her labor and delivery of the sweet baby Jesus for a moment. No epidural, no doctor, no midwife… no clean rags - just a dirty, odorous stable. She may have been able to labor and deliver on clean straw or hay, but have you ever lain in straw or hay? It isn’t necessarily the most comfortable. What about your house? Is it a mess from those last minute decorations you are putting up or wrapping you are doing? Maybe it is from the simple paper crafts you are doing with the kiddos this year. Maybe it is a mess because you are blessed to be surrounded by family - and all the things they bring with them and all the extra trash they generate. In any case, look around at your mess for a bit. How does the mess make you feel? If everywhere I look holds a clutter, I begin to feel agitated. The list of tasks piles up in my mind, and the chaos of the visual becomes a chaos in my brain. Research shows that clutter can affect anxiety levels, sleep quality, and focusing capabilities. So, five-minute families, how should we deal with the messy - whatever your messy may be this Christmas season: First, we recommend you take 5 minutes to make a meal plan. The meal plan should not just be the desserts you need to bake or the Christmas meal itself. Include some veggies and fruits and other healthy snacks to better fuel your body and your brain to keep the nutritional mess that can ensue with too many sweets at bay. Second, plan two or three 5-minute pick-up times through the day to simply focus on the clutter. By removing some of the clutter that is accumulating, you help your mind and heart stay focused on what’s truly important. Third, add in two or three 5-minute cleaning times. After you pick up the clutter, take just a few minutes to clean the underneath surface. Don’t feel that the whole room must be cleaned at once (unless you truly have the time and cleaning doesn’t keep you from being with your loved ones). Some families clean the kitchen all together at least once a day through the holidays so that no one person has to bear the full weight of the cleaning going on. Fourth, we must take 5 minutes a day for a mood and emotions check-in. For little ones in the family, this can be done with a mood chart printed off the internet. For older kids and adults, you can speak briefly with them and ask them what is happening in their hearts. If someone is struggling, you may need to go on immediately to our fifth suggestion. Fifth, each person may need 5 (or 10 or 15) minute deep-dive emotional check-in at least once during this week depending on what has been happening, especially in the preceding year. We need to understand that each of us is affected differently by the sights and smells and sounds of family fun times. The game playing is fun but someone may be in overload mode. The cookie making is yummy, but someone may be remembering a special moment with someone who has died. Whatever is happening in our homes, let’s minister to one another as Christ so lovingly taught us through His example by...

Good morning, Five Minute Families. We are glad to be back with you today. Life is short, and there are often reminders around us that we should take the risks that are holding us back, demonstrate our love as big as we feel inside, and forgive ourselves and others - all to live the abundant life Christ calls us into. Our lives are often marked by festivities and ceremonies - birthdays, graduations, funerals, and holidays - to name a few. Some people go all out for these ceremonies while other people are too overwhelmed with the weight of the moment - whether a good or bad moment - to even think of the ceremony aspect. Kind of a deep beginning… but what are we really discussing today… Christmas decorations! Why decorations after such an opening? Well, as someone who has struggled with mild anxiety and depression, especially around the holidays, Christmas decorations have come to mean way more than just simple décor for me. My quickness in putting up decorations is often indicative of what is happening in my head and heart. Now, in full disclosure, we have zero - that’s right - zero decorations out right now, but this year it is due to construction projects and time, not emotions. Whether you are a November 1, day after Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, or ‘somewhere random’ decorating type of person, decorations are part of the ceremony of the celebration of Christmas. Decorations can bring smiles to saddened faces, and they can work to draw a family closer - if we allow them to. Of course, the stress of breakables, getting the tree just right, placement of knick-knacks, and more can divide us if we allow them, but a five-minute family knows that five minutes as a start can be the difference in connection or isolation. Let’s face it, in most households, the bulk of the decorating can fall on mama. That - in and of itself - can be so isolating. Though, of course, there are those folks who want to do all the decorating themselves. So, as long as you aren’t one of the ‘let me do it all myself’ folks, how do we incorporate everyone and make decorating for Christmas a good and wonderful time that focuses on Jesus? Make sure you are working within an age-appropriate amount of time. Break up the decorating with crafts, snacks, or just simple down-time; this is important for families with young children or children with special needs. For those type-A personalities out there, make sure you start at a time that will allow you these breaks because as you begin to stress about the house being a mess, the more fun you take away from everyone else. Be sure to assign age-appropriate tasks. Some families take turns having a kiddo put the tree topper on. Some families always have dad do it. Some families aren’t organized enough to remember who does it year to year and it is simply random. Whatever the tradition part, make sure that you have the kids have tasks that can allow them some level of autonomy so that they feel fully included and take pride and ownership of some of the decorating. Scale it back or beef it up depending on the emotional, mental, and physical needs of the family members that year. Sometimes, you are ahead of the game and will be able to do a full advent calendar (by the way, these don’t need to be expensive, it can be a small single piece of candy separated daily from one candy container); you can be well-organized and do a full Jesse tree with tree and ornament creation; or even an elf on the shelf (or one of the alternatives such as shepherd on a search or the rascally reindeer). Some years, though, instead of adding a ‘Names of Jesus’ ornament each day, you may have to add them all at once in a condensed discussion time. Add something new but keep the traditions that matter the most. We have to admit, some of us get bored having decorations the same way every year. By adding a new decoration or game to the decoration festivities, we can spice things up a bit but keep those elements that have come to mean the...