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A nurse who brags on TikTok that she doesn’t wear a mask while traveling and having playdates with her kids gets fired, a post-Thanksgiving dinner turns deadly after someone digs into the leftovers with their bare hands, a contestant named Kovid competed on “Project Runway” in 2019 and his outfit included a mask, the mysterious monolith in Romania has now disappeared as well as the one in Utah, and the McDonald’s McRib is back and they’re offering a free one men who post pictures of newly clean-shaven faces.

The mysterious metallic monolith found in Utah has vanished, scented candle makers are reporting a drop in average review rankings due to Covid loss of smell, a woman filming a TikTok video is interrupted by an intruder, a man is arrested for repeatedly calling 911 to belch into the phone, a stolen ukulele is recovered when the thief is spotted playing it in a park, and a tequila bar is dodging pandemic restrictions by registering as a church.

A thief steals a wheel from someone’s car and leaves a frozen turkey in its place, some doctors are reporting Covid-19 may cause unexpected tooth loss, Florida Man thaws his Thanksgiving turkey in his swimming pool every year, a flight attendant is in big trouble for running a side-hustle with her “Only Fans” offerings while in-flight, a really high couple calls police several times to report possums jumping out of their fridge and microwave, and Snoop Dogg does an amazing job commentating on the Tyson-Jones and Paul-Robinson Fights, including singing a hymn for Nate Robinson after he hits the deck.

Fitz has advice on how NOT to prepare your Turkey and how to handle leftovers, a new TikTok trend is kids fooling their parents into thinking the TV is smashed, two Yoga teachers beat the crap out of each other over a heater, a Canadian council meeting stalls when someone’s mic is on in the bathroom, a Oregon man is caught stealing 108 rolls of TP in Walla Walla, and a guy who stole a Coors Light truck from outside a store tries to jump out of the moving truck and runs himself over. (You won’t believe how many P1s call in to say they’ve run themselves over.)

An award-winning new kit being designed England lets you grow your own steaks from human tissue (eeww!!), a 62-year-old woman is carrying her daughter’s child while is daughter is busy being pregnant with another kid, a fight at the opening for a Colorado In-N-Out Burger results in a man losing his pants, a man is arrested for spitting on hikers that aren’t wearing masks, a lab worker is arrested for forging drug test results that lost families their custody rights and Instant Karma meets a meth dealer who crashes his motorcycle and has his waistband-gun go off into his hip, and…gets hit by a car.

A Burger King worker steals $30K by creating fake employees and while discussing that we learn Claire is somehow connected, a website is offering $2500 to watch 25 holiday movies in 25 days, a new study indicates the smaller a man’s junk is the more money he makes, there is special new Christmas music just for dogs (so have your dog here when you listen), a 17-year-old takes his Dad’s $3.4 million car for a joy ride and wrecks it, and a woman ticketed for using her cell phone while driving claims she was really eating an ice cream sandwich and has the wrapper and chocolate stains to prove it.

A guy leads police on a high-speed chase that includes ditching his car and diving under Lake Shasta in a mini submarine, a new study shows men who have a beard in dating profile pics are 3x more likely to get a match, a new dating term called “Hat Fishing” has men trying to hide their baldness under hats on dating apps, a new phone hotline helps people get through bad psychedelic trips, a Connecticut man is arrested for getting freaky with his neighbor’s tree, and America is having another TP crisis so Ryder and Fitz think we all just need to install bidets.

A teenager in China wanted an iPhone so badly he sold a kidney to get it, a British man is arrested for driving in circles yelling “Wakey Wakey!”, a university Zoom class is interrupted by the professor’s butt-sniffing cats, a UFO is spotted flying over the UAE, Jimmy Dean is offering glass sausage Christmas Ornaments, and two college kids are arrested for stealing the Exits signs from a bunch of dorms.

Women named Karen say their name is ruining their chances on dating sites, police in Italy use a Lamborghini to deliver a heart to a transplant patient, a home invasion ends when a 16-year-old takes out the robber with a Louisville Slugger, an Alaska Airlines plane hits a bear on a runway while landing, a Florida couple is arrested after pulling over on the highway for a quickie, and the original figures of Santa and Rudolph from the 1964 “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” are auctioned for $300K.

40% of Americans say they are still going to Thanksgiving with 10 or more people in spite of rising Covid numbers, someone tries to remove the Times Square Naked Cowboy’s tighty-whities off of him, a city council meeting in Whatcom County is interrupted by one of the council members’ cows when he Zooms from his barn, a 200-person underground fight club is broken up in New York City, the newly-circulating Secret Sister gift scam is officially classified as a pyramid scheme, and Florida Man is arrested while taking his 8-year-old son on a robbery spree

25% of US women admit they don’t know where their own “equipment” is located or how it all really works, a bride-to-be angry at an online store that her wedding dress is ugly turns out to have it on inside-out, police in Santa Cruz are looking for a stolen Bigfoot statue, the nicest Taco Bell in the world is on a beach in California and we hear a video review, radiologists x-raying a man after a car crash find a phone up his butt, and the new tattoo craze is doing it with black-light ink so you can be Business in the Day and Party in the Night.

A woman standing in front of the ocean filming a holistic video about its cleansing power gets swallowed by a rogue wave, an Amazon engineer who worked on Alexa builds an app to communicate with your cat, a French elementary school bans parents from throwing their kids over the 6-foot-fence when late for school, and a Russian woman goes viral with video of her man proposing by shoving the ring into a Big Mac.

Florida Man steals a stole a cop car for a joy ride on a Vision Quest, a man stabbed during an intense Chess match (!) refuses to narc on the stabber, a Boston man protesting an unfixed pot hole plants a Christmas tree in it, a Texas Turkey plant loses thousands of smoked turkeys in a fire, a city councilman who fought to get the Ten Commandments installed outside city hall is arrested for breaking one of the commandments, and you can now get a cookbook containing only recipes using Mountain Dew.

A human heart on the way to a transplant operation survives two mishaps including a helicopter crash and being drop-kicked, teenage girls at a drive-thru zoo freak out when a cow sticks it’s head in the window, Arby’s now has a turkey-shaped pillow you can wear on your head to nap in any position, a guy sends a hotter and more successful guy to his high school reunion as a stand-in, a woman named Corona says she’s getting harassed a lot, and a California man has spent quarantine creating a scaled-down model of Disney’s Matterhorn for his kids to ride

Most Americans polled in a recent survey say their couch has been their best friend during the pandemic, a guy is arrested for using the products while still inside an adult store, a Rhode Island group is building “Hobbit Houses” to rent, you can now visit the actual Titanic wreckage on the bottom of the Atlantic for just $125K per person, when you see Santa to Cabella/Bass Pro this year he will be behind a magic shield, and Florida Man goes nuts when his Checker’s Burger runs out of lettuce.

A woman is arrested outside Disney World after stashing a handgun in the bushes and blaming it on her 6-year-old, Florida Man pulls a gun on another driver who insults his manhood based on the size of his truck, a guy who sued Canada Dry for deceptive practices about the health benefits of their Ginger Ale gets $200K, “Election Disorder” is recognized as an actual stress condition by doctors, a new 2020 candle smells like a bunch of weird things including Joe Exotic, and a guy wearing a t-shirt saying “BBQ, Beer and Freedom” crashes a Nevada Election briefing.

Scientists in Thailand have solved the problem of stinky feet with a zinc-oxide nano-solution for your socks, we nearly had Caitlyn Jenner running as Kanye’s VP, Colonel Sanders is shaving his moustache and goatee for “Movember”, a 5-year old breaks the Guinness World Record for recognizing cartoon characters in a minute, a distillery in New Hampshire has a new deer-flavored whiskey, and an Oregon man robs a store but gets caught because he has a couch strapped to the top of his getaway car.

“Baby Shark” is now officially the most watched video in YouTube history with over 7 billion views, two guys are kicked off an American Airlines flight when one of them tries to hide under the other’s first class seat for a YouTube stunt, a man shoots someone who called his baby ugly, two kayakers are nearly swallowed alive by a humpback whale and get it all on video, a guy caught with heroin hidden in his butt cheeks and digital scales says it’s all for personal use, and a study finds the average American asks for advice 6000 times in their life from 31 people.

A Highway Patrol Officer makes a DUI stop dressed as a Storm Trooper, a man who posts details about giving his girlfriend a kidney gets his house robbed while they are at the hospital, a little town in Kentucky only ever has animals running for mayor, a new App lets you enter into a legally binding contract before sexting, a newly-married woman is suing her husband for fraud after it turns out he’s bald, and a crook who should have gotten away with a high speed chase on Halloween when cops stopped chasing him gets caught after falling asleep in a McDonald’s.

A skunk leads to the evacuation of a Walmart, a woman passing out “Get Out the Vote” flyers steals someone’s cat off their porch, more than half of people polled say Election Day will be the most stressful day of their lives, a doctor in India is conned into buying Aladdin’s Lamp from a guy dressed as Genie, 1 in 3 people admit to lying about the number of their previous “laundry” partners to their spouse, and a woman climbs a tree for some day drinking and refuses to come down when a guy in a bucket lift comes for her.