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A nurse who brags on TikTok that she doesn’t wear a mask while traveling and having playdates with her kids gets fired, a post-Thanksgiving dinner turns deadly after someone digs into the leftovers with their bare hands, a contestant named Kovid competed on “Project Runway” in 2019 and his outfit included a mask, the mysterious monolith in Romania has now disappeared as well as the one in Utah, and the McDonald’s McRib is back and they’re offering a free one men who post pictures of newly clean-shaven faces.

The mysterious metallic monolith found in Utah has vanished, scented candle makers are reporting a drop in average review rankings due to Covid loss of smell, a woman filming a TikTok video is interrupted by an intruder, a man is arrested for repeatedly calling 911 to belch into the phone, a stolen ukulele is recovered when the thief is spotted playing it in a park, and a tequila bar is dodging pandemic restrictions by registering as a church.

A thief steals a wheel from someone’s car and leaves a frozen turkey in its place, some doctors are reporting Covid-19 may cause unexpected tooth loss, Florida Man thaws his Thanksgiving turkey in his swimming pool every year, a flight attendant is in big trouble for running a side-hustle with her “Only Fans” offerings while in-flight, a really high couple calls police several times to report possums jumping out of their fridge and microwave, and Snoop Dogg does an amazing job commentating on the Tyson-Jones and Paul-Robinson Fights, including singing a hymn for Nate Robinson after he hits the deck.

Fitz has advice on how NOT to prepare your Turkey and how to handle leftovers, a new TikTok trend is kids fooling their parents into thinking the TV is smashed, two Yoga teachers beat the crap out of each other over a heater, a Canadian council meeting stalls when someone’s mic is on in the bathroom, a Oregon man is caught stealing 108 rolls of TP in Walla Walla, and a guy who stole a Coors Light truck from outside a store tries to jump out of the moving truck and runs himself over. (You won’t believe how many P1s call in to say they’ve run themselves over.)

The popular 12-foot-tall Halloween skeleton from Home Depot is now a popular Christmas decoration with people adding Santa stuff to it, a babysitter is being sued for getting Chicken McNuggets for the kids of a vegan family, the Oxford Dictionary Word of the Year is “Covid-19”, a squirrel staggers around drunk after eating a fermented backyard pear, Dr. Fauci’s announcement that Santa is immune to Coronavirus has internet freaks wanting to drain Santa’s plasma for his antibodies, and a guy who went to the doctor to get treatment for depression over his cheating wife finds out she was cheating with the doctor.

An award-winning new kit being designed England lets you grow your own steaks from human tissue (eeww!!), a 62-year-old woman is carrying her daughter’s child while is daughter is busy being pregnant with another kid, a fight at the opening for a Colorado In-N-Out Burger results in a man losing his pants, a man is arrested for spitting on hikers that aren’t wearing masks, a lab worker is arrested for forging drug test results that lost families their custody rights and Instant Karma meets a meth dealer who crashes his motorcycle and has his waistband-gun go off into his hip, and…gets hit by a car.

A Burger King worker steals $30K by creating fake employees and while discussing that we learn Claire is somehow connected, a website is offering $2500 to watch 25 holiday movies in 25 days, a new study indicates the smaller a man’s junk is the more money he makes, there is special new Christmas music just for dogs (so have your dog here when you listen), a 17-year-old takes his Dad’s $3.4 million car for a joy ride and wrecks it, and a woman ticketed for using her cell phone while driving claims she was really eating an ice cream sandwich and has the wrapper and chocolate stains to prove it.

A guy leads police on a high-speed chase that includes ditching his car and diving under Lake Shasta in a mini submarine, a new study shows men who have a beard in dating profile pics are 3x more likely to get a match, a new dating term called “Hat Fishing” has men trying to hide their baldness under hats on dating apps, a new phone hotline helps people get through bad psychedelic trips, a Connecticut man is arrested for getting freaky with his neighbor’s tree, and America is having another TP crisis so Ryder and Fitz think we all just need to install bidets.

A teenager in China wanted an iPhone so badly he sold a kidney to get it, a British man is arrested for driving in circles yelling “Wakey Wakey!”, a university Zoom class is interrupted by the professor’s butt-sniffing cats, a UFO is spotted flying over the UAE, Jimmy Dean is offering glass sausage Christmas Ornaments, and two college kids are arrested for stealing the Exits signs from a bunch of dorms.

Women named Karen say their name is ruining their chances on dating sites, police in Italy use a Lamborghini to deliver a heart to a transplant patient, a home invasion ends when a 16-year-old takes out the robber with a Louisville Slugger, an Alaska Airlines plane hits a bear on a runway while landing, a Florida couple is arrested after pulling over on the highway for a quickie, and the original figures of Santa and Rudolph from the 1964 “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” are auctioned for $300K.

40% of Americans say they are still going to Thanksgiving with 10 or more people in spite of rising Covid numbers, someone tries to remove the Times Square Naked Cowboy’s tighty-whities off of him, a city council meeting in Whatcom County is interrupted by one of the council members’ cows when he Zooms from his barn, a 200-person underground fight club is broken up in New York City, the newly-circulating Secret Sister gift scam is officially classified as a pyramid scheme, and Florida Man is arrested while taking his 8-year-old son on a robbery spree

25% of US women admit they don’t know where their own “equipment” is located or how it all really works, a bride-to-be angry at an online store that her wedding dress is ugly turns out to have it on inside-out, police in Santa Cruz are looking for a stolen Bigfoot statue, the nicest Taco Bell in the world is on a beach in California and we hear a video review, radiologists x-raying a man after a car crash find a phone up his butt, and the new tattoo craze is doing it with black-light ink so you can be Business in the Day and Party in the Night.

A woman standing in front of the ocean filming a holistic video about its cleansing power gets swallowed by a rogue wave, an Amazon engineer who worked on Alexa builds an app to communicate with your cat, a French elementary school bans parents from throwing their kids over the 6-foot-fence when late for school, and a Russian woman goes viral with video of her man proposing by shoving the ring into a Big Mac.

Florida Man steals a stole a cop car for a joy ride on a Vision Quest, a man stabbed during an intense Chess match (!) refuses to narc on the stabber, a Boston man protesting an unfixed pot hole plants a Christmas tree in it, a Texas Turkey plant loses thousands of smoked turkeys in a fire, a city councilman who fought to get the Ten Commandments installed outside city hall is arrested for breaking one of the commandments, and you can now get a cookbook containing only recipes using Mountain Dew.

A human heart on the way to a transplant operation survives two mishaps including a helicopter crash and being drop-kicked, teenage girls at a drive-thru zoo freak out when a cow sticks it’s head in the window, Arby’s now has a turkey-shaped pillow you can wear on your head to nap in any position, a guy sends a hotter and more successful guy to his high school reunion as a stand-in, a woman named Corona says she’s getting harassed a lot, and a California man has spent quarantine creating a scaled-down model of Disney’s Matterhorn for his kids to ride

Most Americans polled in a recent survey say their couch has been their best friend during the pandemic, a guy is arrested for using the products while still inside an adult store, a Rhode Island group is building “Hobbit Houses” to rent, you can now visit the actual Titanic wreckage on the bottom of the Atlantic for just $125K per person, when you see Santa to Cabella/Bass Pro this year he will be behind a magic shield, and Florida Man goes nuts when his Checker’s Burger runs out of lettuce.

A woman is arrested outside Disney World after stashing a handgun in the bushes and blaming it on her 6-year-old, Florida Man pulls a gun on another driver who insults his manhood based on the size of his truck, a guy who sued Canada Dry for deceptive practices about the health benefits of their Ginger Ale gets $200K, “Election Disorder” is recognized as an actual stress condition by doctors, a new 2020 candle smells like a bunch of weird things including Joe Exotic, and a guy wearing a t-shirt saying “BBQ, Beer and Freedom” crashes a Nevada Election briefing.

Scientists in Thailand have solved the problem of stinky feet with a zinc-oxide nano-solution for your socks, we nearly had Caitlyn Jenner running as Kanye’s VP, Colonel Sanders is shaving his moustache and goatee for “Movember”, a 5-year old breaks the Guinness World Record for recognizing cartoon characters in a minute, a distillery in New Hampshire has a new deer-flavored whiskey, and an Oregon man robs a store but gets caught because he has a couch strapped to the top of his getaway car.

“Baby Shark” is now officially the most watched video in YouTube history with over 7 billion views, two guys are kicked off an American Airlines flight when one of them tries to hide under the other’s first class seat for a YouTube stunt, a man shoots someone who called his baby ugly, two kayakers are nearly swallowed alive by a humpback whale and get it all on video, a guy caught with heroin hidden in his butt cheeks and digital scales says it’s all for personal use, and a study finds the average American asks for advice 6000 times in their life from 31 people.

A Highway Patrol Officer makes a DUI stop dressed as a Storm Trooper, a man who posts details about giving his girlfriend a kidney gets his house robbed while they are at the hospital, a little town in Kentucky only ever has animals running for mayor, a new App lets you enter into a legally binding contract before sexting, a newly-married woman is suing her husband for fraud after it turns out he’s bald, and a crook who should have gotten away with a high speed chase on Halloween when cops stopped chasing him gets caught after falling asleep in a McDonald’s.