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The dating landscape is changing quicker than Eliza can sniff out a hottie. So what’s next? We all know Tinder, Bumble and Hinge…. BORING! But have you heard of the Jewish, gluten free and vegan dating apps? We’re not making this up…. niche matchmaking platforms are evolving as we become fussier, busier and set in our ways! Now you can filter out those flogs, and find Mr Perfect For Me! Fancy an avatar instead? You got it! Thanks to new technologies, virtual reality dates and sex robots are coming our way. In the meantime, we try and work out why the talent pool of fit fellas is drying up… you blokes give Eliza a cold hard dose of reality. And please enjoy more gutter chat this week as Carly and Eliza bond over pubic hair, tampon misdemeanours and Eggor McGregor farts! We also have a “lovedown” for you….. there’s love in lockdown and we’re here for a happy ending!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Someone feel sorry for us! We’ve been put back into lockdown here in Victoria… and we’ve got cabin fever! So what is there to do when you can’t leave the house…? Flick the bean! We took it to the people this week, and asked the question.... do you masturbate? The results might come as a surprise! Eliza the prude is blown away by this one. But something does have her “ovaries giddy”!! And what has Carly suddenly running scared from sex? We never thought this day would come! The one-liners and app first-timers are also out in force, and it’s a whole lotta WRONG TOWN. Plus some cheeky Bach in Paradise goss!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Will Covid-19 ever F off?! With Corona still a giant cockblock in some states, the apps continue to be the cure for boredom, hornyness and the occasional lonely heart. Lockdown has seen the birth of genius new niche (and sometimes snobby) digital dating platforms, and uncovered some alarming side effects of sex starvation. Plus…. creative ways to expose misleading profile pics, and those man-whorey, bad-mannered matches. Carly and Big Red also have some exciting house news.... did they find a home for Baby Biscuit? Lots of cringes and lols this week. Especially from the ever mature Eliza…. who gets the giggles saying the word fingering! And what else got her nana knickers in a knot? IDK but you’ll have to tune in to find out LMAO.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Disclaimer: We’re broadcasting from the moon this week! Apologies in advance for the audio quality (a few tech issues). But never fear, we’ve still got lots of fun coming to you, as we serve up our first ever movie review! We can’t wait to tell you what we thought of Netflix’s raunchy new offering ‘365 Days’. We have A LOT to say about the graphic sex scenes, the genitalia, and the BJs. '50 Shades' is vanilla compared to this flick! Carly gets the shock of her life when we speak to a mum about a vag loosening device. It may prevent tearing during birth, but the process is truly mortifying!! EPI-NO it’s called…. NO is right! We also have some heartwarming Covid love stories to bring you… yay successes for once! And we uncover the most ridiculous excuse we’ve ever heard from a guy who was caught on Tinder (would you buy it if you were his GF?). Plus find out if Eliza located her dream Millionaire Hot Seat man! Finding a Unicorn - published every Wednesday! Make sure to follow us on socials: Instagram - @findingaunicorn @carlybowyer  @eliza_paschke If you like what you hear, hit that ’Subscribe’ button on Apple Podcasts or ‘Follow’ on Spotify. If you LOVE what you hear make sure to give us a 5 Star review! Happy hunting! Carly and Eliza x  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My O My! CUM on a journey with us this week as we discuss all things orgasms….. if you thought there were only a few ways to get yourself off, think again! You’ll be shocked to hear all the weird, wacky and wonderful techniques. And if you’re struggling to reach the pinnacle, do you fake it?! Since we’re already going to the gutter, why stop the dirty talk there….. as we delve deep into funky spunk (cue the ewws). You won’t believe how many people taste test their own juices. Carly takes another step closer to adulthood with boyfriend “Big Red”, and Eliza finds a new target! Will this be another man mission that ends in heartbreak? Listeners beware, there’s so many climaxes this episode, it’s not for the faint hearted!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Enough said. Tune in to find out all of the details including how she told Eliza!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Australia welcomed the news of a lesbian couple on this year’s MAFS. But the television first has been met with disdain in the US. The series has recently started airing in America, and the backlash has been brutal. We talk to one half of the “controversial” couple Amanda Micallef, and she ain’t holding back! We give her the floor to confront the haters, and air her unresolved MAFS grievances….. what shocking secret was her ex-missus hiding, and how did she try to rig the selection process? There’s also fascinating insight into straight women and their lesbian fantasies! Plus Covid predictions debunked, STI concerns for SA, and Carly launches her ‘setup Eliza’ campaign.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Think you’ve been on a bad date? Well, you’re not alone! Readers reckon it’s bloody hilarious, contributors find it cathartic, and psychologists describe it as “storytelling therapy”.... The ‘Bad Dates of Melbourne’ Facebook page has exploded, and this week we’re talking to its maker, journalist and dating expert Alita Brydon. Just when we thought we’d heard it all, we’re horrified yet again by the jungle of the dating world! Everything from Kmart dates to cat obsessed men (insert pussy joke here)! Also, ever wondered what 5 words can get you out of a bad date? And if you think you’ve tried everything to find your baby daddy, think again… we’re shocked and delighted by a new reality TV show that could be your solution (Eliza wants in)!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Would you go on a LIVE online dating show?! One that matches you with reality stars?! “Going Live for Love”, the brainchild of ex-Bachie contestant Belinda Love, can do just that! We get the lowdown on this cutting-edge concept, how you can get involved, and the twist no one saw coming! Given Belinda’s a qualified love coach (aka the opposite of Carly and Eliza) we pick her profesh brain about dating after reality TV, how to maximise your luck on apps, and how to land someone during Rona! We also find out what people are really up to while working from home. Are you another cheeky “procrastibator”? Wait till you find out what that means! Meanwhile, Eliza throws shade at half-arsed efforts from men on dating apps, and Carly has some big news about her relationship with Big Red!!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We’re dedicating the last ep of Season 3 to you guys! The Unicorn Hotline is open, and phones are ringing off the hook! We’re giving you our uncensored, honest, and amateur-hour advice. We talk virtual speed dating, porn star obsessions, audio porn and low libidos. There’s an “accidental” dick pic conundrum, and a debate about SEX….. how long is too long to wait? Plus what’s the strange “ball-busting” sexual proposition Carly received? And what’s life going to be like on the other side of lockdown? We’ve got your post-Corona predictions…. hello hookups and dumpings!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We had such high hopes isolation would terminate dodgy dating behaviours… but alas, it appears the same problems remain! Swipers still be doing 180s, flakety flaking and worst of all, GHOSTING (grrrrr). We’ve even busted people crying Rona so they can bail, shame on them! Plus, those creepers still be creepin, with virtual dating bringing out the unwanted pics and long schlongs (no thanks)!! And you won’t believe what Eliza divulges…. she’s having erotic dreams, and boy is it fun to hear her squirm as she relives them. Carly also reveals the one thing you WON’T find her doing in the bedroom (it’s a no from Big Red)! **Audio coming to you from lockdown….. pardon our technological uselessness!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

WARNING…. We’re going to the gutter with poop chat. If you love a bit of toilet humour, then this is the ep for you! When is it ok to visit brown town in front of your partner? It’s a messy topic, but somebody’s gotta tackle it! So we go deep and dirty with plop muffling tactics, stench hiding techniques, and shart dilemmas. What’s worse than getting the squirts? Ending up in hospital from holding it in!! Poo-xiety is real and a lot of you are suffering from it! After a few horror stories and many awkward lols, we hope to calm your fears and celebrate this perfectly normal bodily function! On a cleaner note…. what exactly is virtual sex? Eliza needs to be educated once again. And in this world of iso-digi-dating, what's the shock Instagram discovery that has the girls reeling? It’s a game changer (and not in a good way).So it play people, and enjoy this week’s stinker of a poo-dcast!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Variety is the spice of life, and this week, we’ve got all your bases covered. We’ll make you cringe with blood and gore chat, and squirm from squirting tales! We dive deep into Eliza’s egg freezing journey… from costs and hormone injections, to baby daddy plans (things escalate quickly). Brace yourself for the LOL questions she bombarded her poor nurses with! Plus, our awesome unicorn tribe are bringing us the goods with their iso diaries - there’s pre-kiss temperature checking, a brutal corona dumping, and a bizarre date proposal…. is a supermarket tour up your aisle? And what’s this thing called a ziggy cup? You’ll have to listen to find out (it's not pretty)!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is Eliza the only one not watching porn? Yep she’s a porn virgin, and she’s learning a lot this episode! From amateur, soft and same sex to anime, babysitters and MILFs, we’ve got everything you need to know about the x-rated world! Carly gets serious as we debate busting your boyf, homemade videos and laying off loved ones who like to watch! Plus, it’s Pornhub to the rescue in isolation…. they’ve got your premium subscriptions covered! What’s hot and what’s not? We bring you the trends…. much to our surprise, Aussies are topping the viewing charts! And what are the US putting their foot down on now? Rimming is OUT! Tune in to hear this and much more! Including the big step Carly has taken in her relationship during rona.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Corona is the dawning of a new dating revolution people…. We’re back to old school courting! Hello virtual dates, sexting and swiping on fresh meat. We have the hot tips on making these surging mediums work for you. But BEWARE, thirsty exes are getting ready to pounce, and singles are waiting to swoop on your isolation breakups! And you won’t believe what laws NYC officials are laying down… out with orgies, in with masturbation! This week we come to you from Eliza’s house, as we study breathtaking doodles from 1.5m apart (it’s the most action her couch has seen in a while)! Plus MAFS star Poppy unleashes on misleading edits, evil trolls and a surprise wife swap…. What had her rocking in the foetal position? Thank god that show is over!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As Coronavirus pandemonium sweeps the globe, we look at the impact on sex, love and dating! Isolation boredom is seeing couples root like rabbits. But where has social distancing life left singles..... it’s time to get swipe happy people! What else will fill hours of quarantining I hear you cry? Sex dolls and masturbation may have something to do with it. Plus, the stats are in..... you’ll be shocked at what else is flying off the shelves (Hint: it’s a lot raunchier than toilet paper!) And we are OUTRAGED as we discover the latest trend on porn sites… hazmat suits are a turn on it seems🤔! We’ll deliver some hot tips on what bodily fluids to avoid, and hopefully give you a giggle in these tough times… stay safe out there unicorns!   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are you into sending sexy pics? Maybe a little boob here, or a bit of butt cheek there… Or are dick pics more your thing? It’s an episode of ups and downs this week…. We go from cheeky genitalia chat to revenge porn punishments. Carly gives her very experienced opinion on how to get the best shot, while Eliza decides vaginas are disgusting and makes the bold statement “penises are not yum” (whaaat?!). But be smart out there boys and girls, cos once you send a nude into the digital abyss, they never die! Don’t be a duffer and learn the hard way like many celebrities before us. And which MAFS cast member told Carly he doesn’t get out of bed for less than $5000 in the most awkward and floggy run-in of all time?!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How do you know if your partner’s cheating? In this digital world there’s far too many ways to be sneaky! But there’s also just as many ways to get caught! Social media allows us to connect with anyone anytime anywhere, but it can also leave a crime scene of evidence. If you’re doing the dirty, cover your tracks, cos temptation is high, but our suspicions are higher! In fact, your misses is probably hacking into your phone right now. Too far?So how do you catch a scumbag? We’ve got some doozy tricks and epic revenge stories to boot! You’ll also hear from our special guest, former MAFS bad boy Dean Wells.... the man who blazed the cheating trail, with the first ever attempted wife swap. He explains exactly how he orchestrated his affair (or how it was orchestrated for him).... and it’s a lot different to what we’re seeing this season! Plus Eliza’s friend helps her unicorn hunt in the strangest of settings!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is cheating black and white, or are there many shades of grey? Cheating scandals are rife on our TV screens thanks to MAFS - which has us asking the question.... What actually constitutes cheating? Is it ever justifiable? Social media and dating apps have us all living on temptation island! Get ready for some biffo, as we go from rub and tugs to prostitute chat, sexless marriages and sordid affairs. And don’t get us started on Becky with the good hair (we got you Beyoncé)! But it’s not all punch ons, as we giggle through Eliza’s embarrassing run-in with the Hawthorn Football Club.... and Carly has one shot to pop the question!! 💍  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week A BOMB IS DROPPED!!!! Carly reveals the REAL reason she left MAFS. Spoiler alert…. a secret cheating scandal! Are you wondering what’s really going on this season? You’re not alone! Carly exposes the threats and manipulation techniques used by producers to fill holes and suit storylines. Not a MAFS fan? Fear not, we’ve got more dating lols…. group dates, double dates and blind date disasters!!! How to impress and how to horrify your new beau. Plus there’s S&M and super glue (eeek)!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.