Listen Now

Harris Eddie Hill is a podcaster, best-selling author and coach. Harris's pronouns are they/them or ey/em, and they are agender, non-binary, and trans (with a dash of 'boy'). Find out what that means to Harris in this episode. We also talk about being on testosterone, embodying queerness in intimate relationships, finding safety in yourself, navigating family dynamics and having consensual conversations, the importance of having access to a supportive community, what it was like living through Section 28 times, allyship and inclusivity, and exploring kink. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/harris-2  You can now register your interest for our upcoming allyship course – go to www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/allyship-course, or navigate to the course page via the website menu, to be notified when it goes live.

Esther is taking a break from creating new episodes for now, and talks about she came to that decision. Thank you to all our patrons, to those who bought us a coffee, donated, listened, shared and helped. Until next time! More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/90shades 

Cleo Madeleine is a researcher, activist, and poet. Cleo's pronouns are she/her, and she is queer, trans, and a woman. Find out what that means to Cleo in this episode. Join us as we briefly go down a rabbit hole of queer history and time, talking about the entanglement of sexuality and gender, linguistic limitations, the intersection of history, language, and identity, what is left out of history, the construct of normativity, levels of activism, and the many ways things can get lost in translation. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/cleo 

Lux is a psychotherapeutic counsellor and French expat, who has been in the UK for over ten years. Lux's pronouns are he/they, and he is a queer, genderfluid, polygender, non-conforming man. Find out what that means to Lux in this episode. We also talk about seeing labels as a field, the need for softness as well as radicality in activism, how gender identity is separate from gender expression, the pathologising of queer identities, not being able to simplify your complexity into a static gender, how gender plurality and sexual fluidity intertwine, and not leaving any part of us out. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/lux 

Brianne Leeson is a writer, artist, and voice actor, and the creator of the supernatural comedy audio drama, Today’s Lucky Winner. Brianne's pronouns are she/her, and she is autigender, as well as bisexual, polyamorous, and demi-romantic. Find out what that means to Brianne in this episode. We also talk about doing womanhood differently and the infinite flavours of gender and gender expression, accidental polyamory and unpacking social and religious conditioning, what we can learn about communication from autistic people, sensory issues and how they shape expression, finding freedom in embracing your neurodivergence, and questioning everything. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/brianne 

Izzy Kershaw is a singer/songwriter and music producer. Izzy's pronouns are she/her, and she is a transgender woman. She's also bisexual and has ADHD. Find out what that means to Izzy in this episode. We also talk about how big a part of identity gender is and how that can change, the importance of making the distinction between sex and gender in healthcare, being trans in the music industry, an enlightening acid trip, how music can take people on a journey, the innateness of gender from the perspective of brain science, and the desire to belong. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/izzy 

Victor's pronouns are they/them, and they are transgender and non-binary, as well as pansexual, neurodiverse, and ADHD. Find out what that means to Victor in this episode. We also talk about being out as a trans person at work, having a different understanding of the same labels, normalising gender diversity in society, body dysmorphia and gender expression, transphobia in the media, unlocking aspects of identity, and the evolution of awareness. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/victor-2 

Kai is a Garden Designer and consultant, and CEO at Polaris Garden & Landscape Architects. Kai's pronouns are he/him, and he is trans-masculine, transgender, queer, and a tad non-binary. Find out what that means to Kai in this episode.. We also talk about the importance of representation, experiencing intimacy and sex and navigating expected as well as unexpected changes being on T (testosterone), consent and re-establishing boundaries, separating masculinity and femininity from body parts, qualities, and dynamics like dominance & submission, and never being done with transitioning. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/kai 

Lola Phoenix is a writer, podcaster, and author of the recently published book The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-Monogamy. Lola's pronouns are they/them, and they are agender, non-binary, and queer. Find out what that means to Lola in this episode. We also talk about being accidentally gender non-conforming, not relating to normative experiences, prioritising action over language, the power in choosing our response, what we do versus who we are, the similarities between an unconventional gender journey and exploring alternative relationship styles, solidarity and the need to unite, the importance of understanding and regulating our nervous system, and being safe within ourselves. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/lola 

Angela Locashio (aka Mama Pistachio) is a trauma-informed educator and coach, and sexologist. Angela's pronouns are she/her, and she says she's always open to they/them. She is an autistic, queer, genderqueer woman. Find out what that means to Angela in this episode. We also talk about following social scripts and role playing, how authenticity and performance are not mutually exclusive, vulnerability, understanding all parts of ourselves, how we are wired to choose acceptance over authenticity, being yourself in the workplace, the intersection between gender and neurodivergence, and how we are all normal. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/angela 

Fleassy Malay is a poet, spoken word artist, performer, and writer. Fleassy uses they/them and she/her pronouns, and they are a queer, gender-diverse, neurodiverse genderfluid woman. Find out what that means to Fleassy in this episode. We also talk about embracing the validity of the phases we go through, belonging in both women's spaces and queer spaces, inclusive language and adding more nuance to conversations, internalised shame and being willing to confront our own conditioning, having observations rather than answers, how sacred rage can change the world, and playing in all the spaces. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/fleassy 

Anne Hodder-Shipp is a sex and relationship educator dedicated to providing accurate, empowered, compassionate, and expansive sex education. Anne's pronouns are she/they, and she is a queer femme. They're also neurodivergent with a recent ADHD diagnosis. She doesn't have language that totally feels right, but says that sometimes agender, non-binary, and demigirl work. Find out what that means to Anne in this episode. We also talk about not having a sense of belonging, feeling safe in your skin, self-soothing and meeting yourself where you're at, upholding meaning over language at all cost, how the gender binary is weaponised, that a new awareness of reality is often accompanied by a mourning process, looking at love languages through a different lens, and reframing the concepts of love, touch, and relationships. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/anne 

Christine's pronouns are she/her, and she's ok with they/them pronouns. She identifies as a trans woman and is also non-conforming, disabled and neurodivergent. Find out what that means to Christine in this episode. We also talk about how the spectrum of physical biological sex and that of the social construct of gender overlap, the idea of sex dysphoria rather than gender dysphoria, medical transition vs social transition and being comfortable on the inside first, supporting people in a way that works for them, the difference in how we all perceive reality including gender, the need for nuance as well as simplification, how being aware of intention can benefit communication, and building bridges between our understanding and others'. CW: paraphilia, autogynephilia. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/christine  Meeting Christine was the inspiration for the book chapter Esther contributed to the multi-author book Sacred Redesign – How to free yourself from society's standards and create heaven on earth. It's available on Amazon now: find links to purchase on https://estherlemmens.com/ 

Claire's pronouns are she/her, and she is a transgender woman. Find out what that means to Claire in this episode. We also talk about the lack of female role models in the 70s, trying to reconcile the expected side and the authentic side of us, the entanglement of gender, mental health and neurodivergence, feeling like yourself for the first time, reframing gendered activities, identifying as vs identifying with, gender alignment rather than transition, and having more stories to tell. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/claire 

Jenn sets up websites and tech systems for micro businesses. Jenn doesn't have much of an attachment to pronouns and says they or she are fine. They are genderfree, and she also gave us the labels autistic and fat. Find out what that means to Jenn in this episode. We also talk about choosing your own gender badges, the absurdity of assigned gender roles, being conscious of gender-neutral language, how autism in women is underdiagnosed, the limited choices when it comes to clothes, the balance of body neutrality, the various struggles fat people face, and putting the rainbow first rather than it being an afterthought. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/jenn 

Skin is the singer of the rock band Skunk Anansie, a radio show and podcast host, and author. Skin's pronouns are she/her, and she is a queer person. Find out what that means to Skin in this episode. We also talk about stepping stones to new language, the obsession with beauty in the gay community, breaking gender roles, given names and designing your own sense of self, a cultural sense of identity, expanding on feminism, marriage and motherhood, chosen family and learning how to love each other, staying open and giving people a chance to change their minds, and how we need to join forces and stop fighting each other. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/skin 

In this third Reflections episode, Katy interviews Esther as she reflects on further conversations she’s had with gender-diverse folks, what she’s learned about gender, as well as her own journey and how she and the podcast have evolved over a year and a half since the podcast started. We also talk about imposter syndrome, intuition and following the flow, prioritising self-care, expanding on pronouns, improvising and thinking on the spot, reclaiming labels, coming out of the spiritual closet, how the lines between being on the outside and being on the inside are blurring, and that being an ally benefits us all; not just those we are being allies for. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/reflections-3/ 

This is an episode with a spiritual twist. I have a conversation with Oron, through Medha. Medha is an intuitive energy healer and channeler – to be exact, a direct voice channel – and she has a podcast called A Clear Perspective, where she shares the guidance that comes through from Oron in answer to people's questions. Oron start by talking about what it takes for Medha to allow this energy to come through, and then about expansion and going beyond right and wrong, external and internal division, how truth lies on a spectrum, reclaiming your sense of self-worth, power versus force, coming into inner harmony, what self-love really is, and returning to wholeness. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/clear-perspective 

Paige is married to a transgender woman, Esther (or Elle), who came out to her in October 2020. They've been married for 16 years and have two children. Find out more about Paige's experience in this episode. We also talk about being married to a troubled person, becoming more bold and growing into your skin, learning to communicate our needs, the freedom in speaking our truth, going through your own journeys together, that it's ok to not put a label on yourself, and how we may find ourselves in one closet or another. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/paige 

Talea uses any pronouns, and they are agender and metagender. Find out what that means to Talea in this episode. We get philosophical and dig deeper into gender identity, and we talk about the challenges with finding language for something just beyond our grasp, nature vs nurture and what is innate in our identity, and peeling away layers and finding nothing. As we start to wrap up the conversation, some more really juicy things came up, so we keep going for another 10 minutes or so after I thank Talea for sharing her experience. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/talea