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To be a mystic means to want One Thing more than any other of the things. Mystics have an intense and unyielding desire to know and unite with the divine, god, love, beauty, soul, truth, the core of all cores in this life, not in any other life or time. And so, they willingly burn through the fire of any moment to find it.This is why I say mystics are so fucked and so blessed. The mystic heart can't settle for anything less than what it knows it's here to be and do--what can't be said in words or seen in ways the world immediately understands. And it won't stop until you've given your whole life to find it.Let's explore the three desires of the mystic that eclipse all other desires: To unite with god, the divine, heaven in this life, not any other life or time To align the inner with the outer world To be a gateway between the worlds  These desires are actualized through the thread of longing that pulls our lives inside out. Sometimes disruptively. Sometimes quietly. "Longing is the golden thread that takes us home." -Llewelyn Vaughn LeeBut what is "home" to a mystic and how does the Great Work of alchemy intersect with the mystic's journey home? With all the love in my mystic human heart,McCall--Click here to read or listen to my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After Awakening--Click here for episode transcriptsSupport the show

--Why do we have to fall into soul? Why can’t we fly or rise into soul? Why is the way of soul paved by disappointment and disillusionment? Isn’t there a way to skip all that? Surely we can outsmart the fall, if we could just tap into our highest and best selves and only act from there, we’d be okay, right? Rise above. Choose love over fear. Light over dark. Afterall, you are only one choice away from a whole different and better life, right? All you have to do is make that choice. What are you waiting for? Wow, do we love these kinds of messages in our frantic and disconnected world hyped up on conquering anything that threatens us. And while there is some truth to these motivational sayings, the fuller truth is more complex and most of us have to fall from the heights of spiritual awakening in order to connect with and live from the depths of soul. But why? Why is the soul down low? And what about the spirit that just wants to fly free? Doesn’t it also matter?In this episode, let's explore: The original lovers of the Universe--soul and spirit The One Thing (Soul) and The One Mind (Spirit) and how they exist within us The Ego as a tyrant and the Ego as a servant The seven stages of alchemy and how they help us create a harmonious marriage between Soul and Spirit  There's some meaty alchemy in this one. Belly up and dig in. If you feel pulled.With love,McCall--Click here for my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After Awakening--Click here for episode transcripts--Related Episode: The Difference Between Soul and Spirit and Why It MattersSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=5JJ6968QC4LZ4&source=url)

When the maps you’ve been given don’t match the territory you find yourself having to navigate, you trust the terrain itself and your direct, unique experience with it. This is how to honor and live the soul in a world that gives you a million ways not to.What does it mean to “trust yourself” or “trust your intuition” or “trust the process.” We hear these cliches about trust so often in the spiritual growth and development lanes. But what does it mean to trust? Join me as I unravel these cliches and lay a more realistic groundwork for what it means to trust when you're navigating terrain that is always shifting.In this episode: Three tools that help us trust our direct experience Separating the "should" and the "supposed to's" from the actuality of the experience  Living with ambiguity of soul magic--navigating without the reassurance that you are on the "right" team or doing the right thing all the time Willingness to own and work with the implications and energy you create from following your heart and embodying your magic Personal anecdotes of how I work with these tools My Unconventional Invocation For Trust--a spoken word piece set to improve piano tunes. With love + thank you for listening,McCallLINKS:Click here to read or listen to my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After AwakeningClick here for TranscriptsSupport the show

"There is a secret medicine reserved for those who hurt so hard they can't hope. The hopers would feel slighted if they knew."  -The Essential Rumi, Coleman BarksIn this episode I explore the dreadful stage of alchemical distillation--the final and brutiful cleansing before the formation of the Philosopher's Stone within. Signs of Alchemical Distillation in a holding pattern, not be able to get any traction or footing, false starts the rug keeps getting pulled out from under you intense death and rebirth cycles in quick succession experiencing your highest highs and lowest lows, surrendering more each time being stripped of purposes that used to define you, especially spiritual purposes getting weirder and rare and fitting nowhere suspended between the worlds  Outcomes of Alchemical Distillation birthing a new incarnation that encompasses all of you opposites unite within--soul and spirit, dark and light, masculine and feminine living from the unbreakable core that is uniquely yours--the Philosopher's Stone ability to face and transmute things you couldn't previously face peace and wellbeing bond to the personality and remain so, even during times of great disturbance, loss, and overall lifeness  cellular understanding that your worth depends on nothing but your existence  crystallized focus, alignment, and intent Distillation is utter disillusionment that leads to utter freedom. This episode is for you if it's for you. If you know, you know.With love,McCallLINKS:Download The Second Half of the Mountain audiobook hereClick here to go to show transcriptsSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=5JJ6968QC4LZ4&source=url)

Is it okay to take a break from alchemy and the inner healing work? It's so exhausting and there's always something more to transmute and heal. Does it ever end? Let's explore causes for and ways to mitigate unnecessary exhaustion. Piecing ourselves out half-heartedly in too many different directions Giving ourselves to relationships and endeavors that aren't giving back to us Expecting the outer results to match the inner efforts in proportion I also explore what it means to rest, not only as a way to recover the physical body and energy but as a way to access soul energy and creativity. And finally, what to do when you CAN'T take a break, when the alchemy and life keeps hitting hard and you can't escape having to do things you don't really want to do.With love,McCallDownload The Second Half of the Mountain audiobook here Quotes from the show: Even the most beautiful endeavors can be a distraction if the soul has other plans. The heart breaks itself on all its favorite things to align with something deeper, unknown and more true. “The antidote to exhaustion is not necessarily rest. The antidote to exhaustion is wholeheartedness.”  Brother David in conversation with David Whyte from Crossing the Unknown Sea "A thousand half loves must be forsaken to take one whole heart home." -Rumi "If you're tired and you rest/and you're still tired/it's your soul that needs care/the only way to rejuvenate a tired soul/is to listen/you must be still and quiet/and listen/then gather up every scrap of courage/to follow your soul's advice." Jenna Whitman's book, Softly LINKS: Click here to go to the show Transcripts Download The Second Half of the Mountain audiobook here Related Episode: Ep. 4 Inevitability, Pull of the Soul, and Living the Life That Wants You (Song: Fall From the Lie)Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=5JJ6968QC4LZ4&source=url)

When we face and transmute fear, we gain confidence. Confidence that doesn’t depend on things happening in a way we are sure they must happen, but confidence that comes from being insecure, facing the unknown and allowing support and grace to find us in unimagined ways, letting go of certain hopes and trusting that what we can’t yet see or know is there to hold us if we take the frightening steps far enough into the dark for it to find us.In this episode: How to transmute fear to confidence  The difference between confidence and certainty What to do when your confidence is shaken  With love,McCallDownload The Second Half of the Mountain audiobook hereQuotes from the show:--Alchemy doesn’t save us from shit. Alchemy holds us to facing the shit, facing our deepest fears. The whole point of alchemy is to transmute the shit, transmute the fears, to face the things we feel we cannot face and realize the depths in us that are equipped to face them. --Trusting things to work out in a certain way is not really trusting in life. Life is a manifestation of the mystery. Trusting in it means trusting things to work out in ways you can’t foresee or know. The willingness to move forward even though things aren’t going as planned allows us to be surprised by unknown helpers and graces along the way.--This is the terror, but also the delight and the magic of the unknown: when we face the things we fear we cannot face, we come in touch with the deeper, wilder parts of us that are actually equipped to face them. --“We can find what supports us when nothing supports us. By bearing the unbearable, we go through the desert to arrive at a nurturing oasis we did not know was there”.  -James Hollis --"We don't need to learn to let go. We just need to recognize what is already gone." -Zen master Suzuki RoshiDownload The Second Half of the Mountain audiobook hereSupport the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=5JJ6968QC4LZ4&source=url)

An alchemist is one who takes everything as it comes, transforming the harmful into helpful, the ordinary into extraordinary, and the painful into beautiful. Not by way of bypass, but by way of engaging in deep and, at times,  disruptive processes. Alchemists turn their back on nothing, knowing that every life circumstance, desired or not, is the critical base matter needed for making gold.Alchemy can be an overwhelming esoteric topic with weird words, cryptic symbols and images, and various interpretations. But you don't have to be a scholar of any of that to transmute and transform your life situations.In this episode, I pare alchemy down to three keys to remember if you want to work magic in your life. Start Where You Are and Let It Happen Know the Essence from the Form  Unite the Opposites With love,McCallQuick quotes from the show:A magical life is no the absence of pain, disappointment, darkness, and heartache. It's living all of that so fully it becomes your beauty.  “Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.” -Rilke "Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” -James Baldwin “What we cannot hold we cannot process and what we cannot process we cannot transform. And what we cannot transform haunts us.”  -Zen ProverbClick here to read or listen to my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After AwakeningSupport the show

Allow, allow, allow. Everything, every being, every process has its own wisdom and magic. I am learning to not interfere, to let it be, let it work its magic. I honestly think this is love: space to be. Love is when you let it be. Let it be, allow, receive.I built this episode around a song I wrote when I left my music career in 2010--specifically the line "I just need some space to be who I am." I call this The Song That Started It All because it set me on the final and brutal climb of my second half of the mountain journey where I had to go through the dark nights of the spirit and distillation to come to the gates of surrender and walk through.Exploring the BEING space: What does it mean to actually BE our authentic selves in any given moment? Why is it so hard to give ourselves space to be? What gets in the way of us extending this love to ourselves and others? What can come from being in the space of surrender? What magic happens there? With love for those in the far reaches,McCallwww.McCallErickson.comClick here to read or listen to my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After AwakeningSupport the show

Space is hard space is good you need it, but you don't want to be misunderstoodIt's not easy to make it or take itbut something's nagging and you just can't shake itYou want to look but it's scary to see everything's choking and you need to breatheIf you stop for a moment, the image you've been trying so hard to hold together might shatter and fallWouldn't it be better to keep it all in and love through these pretenses and walls? You know there's risk either way, but you have to move when the heart calls. Separation might take us further apart,but it brings us closer, closer after all.  In this episode, we dive into separation, a necessary and vital alchemical phase that helps us know ourselves as individuals so we can be a clearer part of the whole. What is separation and how does it show up in our individual alchemy as well as our relationship alchemy? How can separation help us heal division in ourselves and relationships? Signs of separation: conflict with or needing space from loved ones, feeling the need for alone time, feeling the need to get real about your part and understand your truth in any situation, partnership, creative project etc. Symbols and images of separation: air, wind, space, gaps, divides, divorce, sharp tools like swords, knives, extractions tools Example of how I've applied separation in my life How to make it through a challenging separation phase At 14:20 I share my original song "How Some Stories Go" written during a really difficult relational separation that taught me the importance of holding tension of not knowing in order to allow the deeper soul story to unfold in timeWith love,McCallClick here to read or listen to my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After AwakeningSupport the show

"Perfectionism is the attempted tyranny of a concept over the messy reality of embodied living." -Anthony LawlorIn this episode I explore the progression of perfectionism in my alchemical journey First as a way to survive and cope with trauma.  Then as a way to buffer me from the raw experience of life and perhaps try to control how other people saw me so I could ensure their approval and love.  Next as a tension to constantly transmute in order to keep me in creative flow with my soul. I get real about how making this podcast has challenged me to face and transmute my perfectionism in ways I couldn't do ten years ago when I tried to record my music.At the end, I announce some new projects that I'm currently working on.With love from the deep end of messy and embodied living,McCallQuick quotes from the show:What is real, precious, and truly golden inside me does not give a shit about my perfectionism.Thinking there’s a right way to do anything and someone other than you knows what that is and you should give all your time and energy to figure it out can really fuck over your soul. Trusting your own direct, non-conceptual experience, not as the right way, but as the way that’s flowing, as the way that's happening for now will save your soul."Perfectionism is the attempted tyranny of a concept over the messy reality of embodied living." -Anthony Lawlor"You lose your grip and then you slip into the masterpiece." Leonard Cohen , A Thousand Kisses DeepClick here to read or listen to my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After AwakeningSupport the show

The same things keep happening, and we have to figure out a way to do them differently. Doing the same things differently. That’s how we grow. In the spirals. Sacred geometry of the soul. In this episode I discuss the spiral nature of soul growth why some issues and wounds never go away completely the difference between a cycle and a spiral  how to break a cycle and enter the spiral  I share my original song "Once Upon a Time Again" at 15:45With love on the path of spiral unfolding,McCallQuotes from the show:"There is another world, but it is inside this one." -William Butler Yeats“We shall never cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time.” T.S. Eliot Click here to read or listen to my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After AwakeningSupport the show

In this episode, I share a soulversation Michael DeMaria and I had on his podcast Musitations. United in our longtime commitment to healing codependency in our own lives, we explore emotional sobriety and how it relates to the well-being and creativity of the soul. Topics explored: What is emotional sobriety? Our personal journeys with healing codependency and learning to transmute feelings and emotions Feeling vs. Emoting and how they're both necessary  Our work to live beyond the drama triangle  Forming secure attachments outside of the drama triangle  Attachments vs. connections  Click here to watch the video version of this episode Michael's WebsiteMichael's Music on PandoraThe Drama Triangle Thank you for listening and for being in the world.With love,McCallClick here to read or listen to my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After AwakeningSupport the show

Maybe you keep finding yourself in the unknown because the unknown is the only thing big enough to hold you.In this episode, I dive deep into Magical Will and how it works. Magical Will is born from the nothingness we become through the alchemical processes of transformation. It's how we create, build, live and navigate in the unknown while remaining in alignment with soul and spirit. What is Magical Will? How does Magical Will work? Points and keys to remember when working with Magical Will Trust now, understand why later Feeling states and body pulls, spirit and soul working in the flesh Magical Will and Magical Won't The Third Way or The Stellar Path--uniting of the Solar (spirit) Path and Lunar (soul) Path With love and thanks for listening,McCallQuotes from the show:"The most important thing to remember is this, to be ready at any moment to give up what you are for what you might become." W.E.B. Dubois“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.” Thich Nhat Hanh"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about." RumiClick here to read or listen to my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After AwakeningSupport the show

You can know you are free when the alchemical journey of transformation has successfully turned you into a nobody and delivered you to nothing. Wait...what?!In this episode: Why we have to become nothing in order to know our true nature and to activate the soul codes of purpose within  The dismemberment journey it takes to get there Reincarnating into your own life The magic and usefulness of the Nothing Space  Hint: Becoming nothing is not the end, it's the truest beginning, the center of the spinning paradox, the core of the philosopher's stone. Performance of my original song "Nothing At All" at 13:35Quotes from the show:“If you were not friends with the vast nothingness inside, why would you keep casting your net into it and waiting so patiently” Rumi - Coleman Bark’s translation“In our culture with the level and degree of societal conditioning, the only way to heal and be free is to first be totally destroyed. Once we’ve been wiped out completely (all that conditioning wiped away clean) we discover we are an animal whose nature is in synch with all.” Monica Cassini“The symbolism of having the limbs and intestines taken out and later replaced reflects the experiences many people go through over a period of ten or even twenty years….during such difficult times, you are forced to undo yourself, to go to pieces, to free yourself from the tendency to think of yourself at any given time as one type of person with one type of task. Either you become fluid or nature erases you in its own way.” The Shaman's Body, Arnold MindellClick here to read or listen to my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After AwakeningSupport the show

One of the things that has been pried from the grips of my poor ego through the processes of alchemy and spiritual maturing is the idea that I could crack the code. That I could somehow figure out how to save myself from the perils of life. That somehow, my righteousness, my chosenness and my wisdom set me apart from the rest of humanity, and I wouldn’t have to suffer in the ways other humans suffer. The idea that being “good” and doing the right things was somehow related to my level of suffering was deeply, deeply embedded in me. But honestly, what a fucked up idea.Exploring in this episode: Deprogramming the idea that we can be saved from suffering if we do the right things The soul cannot be healed and discovered solely through healthy living  The role that danger, the abyss, the edge, and the nothingness have in awakening the soul Coming to the place where nothing saves you and how important this place is to magical alignment and magical will  How there is no Philosopher's Stone, no creating with magical will without giving up every notion of what we think it might mean to do so  At  10:46  I do a reading of my piece "When Nothing Saves You" with impromptu piano music in the background. It just felt right.  With love from one magical abyss to another,McCallThank you for listening and supporting the show! Click here to read or listen to my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After AwakeningSupport the show

Spiritual disillusionment is a huge part of soul awakening. But it's not always easy to decipher whether spiritual practices, rituals, modalities, and beliefs are helping or hindering on the path of soul growth.In this episode I explore Spiritual Margaritaville--the "love and light" base camp we encounter upon spiritual awakening. What is Spiritual Margaritaville? What roll does it play in the journey of spiritual and soul awakening?  What are the pitfalls of Spiritual Margaritaville? Is all that "love and light" stuff just a bunch of woo woo? Easy quick tests to discern the good shit from the bullshit there What comes after Spiritual MV on the alchemical journey and does it work to go back there after moving beyond it?  And the most important point of the alchemical journey: Figuring out what form(s) your particular gifts/creativity/life force wants to take in this life. (HINT: it's not always what we're sold by spiritual culture and culture at large.) With love to all on the path of spiritual discernment and soul awakening.Thank you for listening and supporting the podcast!McCallQuick quotes from this episode:-There’s no right path, way, or blanket truths for every step. There’s only what holds the most meaning and growth for you now. And every “now” might call for something different.-There's no amount of enlightenment or  spiritual awakening that can keep us safe from life. Life isn't meant to keep us safe. It's meant to keep us open. -Not subscribing to any truth or way other than the pull of your own soul is perhaps the most thrilling, terrifying, and important thing in the world.Click here to read or listen to my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After AwakeningSupport the show

You can follow the protocol and do all the right steps, and it can still not work for you. Because you can’t predetermine or outline the wild, unpredictable factor of the soul. You feel, discover, and live the truth of it every step you go. In this episode I share about my lifelong obsession with the unpredictable, the mysterious, wild factor of life and the soul.Burning questions of my life that set me out on the path of alchemy: Why do certain healing modalities, steps to success, etc work for some people but not others? Why is it that you can be so clear about your intention and set goals to make that happen but then lack the drive to carry it out? Why is manifesting things into form easy sometimes and then other times it doesn't work at all? Deeper into the alchemy Willpower vs. will of the soul The inspiration of spirit vs the will of the soul How to get spirit and soul to align and work together to bring magic into form The ego's role in this way of magical manifestation and creating The role of surrender in manifesting with soul Thank you for listening and supporting the show!With love,McCallClick here to read or listen to my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After AwakeningSupport the show

There’s no level of self-actualization that can exempt us from having blind spots. The willingness to be softened and see in ourselves what we have not yet been able to see is how we grow. Again and again. In this episode, I explore: The role of fear and shame in keeping us locked into the Codependent Drama Triangle The necessity to face fear and shame to transmute out of the Drama Triangle and get to your own soul source Signs that fear and shame are pulling you into the Drama Triangle Tools for addressing them  Grace we can give ourselves as we reconnect with our true nature as Ongoing Process Reclaiming our true worth--worth inherent in and dependent on nothing but our very existence  I share my original song "How We Grow" at 17:17Thank you for listening and supporting the podcast.With love,McCallClick here to read or listen to my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After AwakeningSupport the show

Maybe what the world needs isn't more love, but better love. Love that doesn't feel good and light all the time. Love that doesn't brush hard truths under the rug, but helps us face them, knowing that moving through the valley of the shadow gifts us with an inner richness beyond words.Join me in this episode as I explore moving from the Codependent Love paradigm to what I call the More Than Love paradigm. Topics: Codependent Love paradigm vs the More Than Love paradigm  Transmuting my "Self Righteous Bitch" energy  Learning to hold conflict and opposition in ourselves and with others  Discovering The Third Way--the possibility of new life when opposites are joined  Working with and healing ongoing divisions in ourselves, our relationships, and our communities Live Performance of my original song "Somewhere in Between" at 15:30With More Than Love,McCallThank you for listening and supporting the show. Click here to read or listen to my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After AwakeningSupport the show

The codependent triangle way of relating as abuser-victim-rescuer permeates our society and perpetuates trauma. In order to stop the trauma cycle and heal, we have to step out of all roles in the triangle and operate from a place of soul, seeing the luminous power in ourselves and all beings.In this episode: What is codependency as it relates to soul work? The three roles in the codependent (drama) triangle and how to break free of them My personal journey and story with progressing out of the drama triangle How taking the second half of the mountain journey and forming the Philosopher's Stone within brings a new round of facing codependency Transmuting the Codependent Triangle to the Compassion Triangle  This one is for the cycle breakers.With love,MResources mentioned in the show:https://www.karpmandramatriangle.com/https://yourholisticpsychologist.com/Codependent No More Healing the Shame that Binds YouThe Second Half of the Mountain Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=5JJ6968QC4LZ4&source=url)