15 minutes | Feb 21, 2021

Abortion Part I - A Personal Story and The Bible (S2E11)

For this week's episode, I'm going to talk about abortion and the Bible.  As I prepared to give this talk, just like I have prepared to give other talks on racism and on LGBTQ, it's difficult because it takes me a while to record and then re-record and then edit what I've recorded and then re-record again. That circle has gone on a number of times, so I'm coming up with another solution and it's to grab little chunks of little bits and see what I get out of this. So… this might be a twenty-piece. This might be a twenty-part series. Who knows? But here I am. Right? Here I am just trying to get this through, just trying to get this posted. When I do interviews on my podcast, they're so easy. I'm so happy to just hear what someone's perspective is - just appreciate who they are and what they're sharing with me. There's the other part of me that knows that I have a platform and that I should use this platform to give the perspective that I have on racism and the church and LGBTQ and Christianity and Christians and prayer and on abortion and the Bible. When I do interviews, it's easier because. Well… there's somebody else carrying the water to be honest. And then it's not a debate. It's a discussion and it's not a conversation to be won. It's a conversation to be enjoyed. I care about those that I interview. I would never have, you know, when you listen to some investigative reporters and they you're like ‘dog on a bone’, they're really dogged in on getting the truth out of somebody, but they're really aggressive. I appreciate the work that investigative reporters do, but that's not what I do. I just like to chat with people. And then in between the chats, there's these moments that I just know I need to speak and say my perspective. So, for this episode or a portion of this episode, I'm going to talk about myself.  I was raised Roman Catholic. My mother and father came over -they are immigrants from Ireland and they it's a predominantly Catholic country. And they came to New England. The state that I live in, Connecticut, that's a very Catholic state - as is, as is Rhode Island and Massachusetts. So, they came from, from that country to this country and the section of this country. I'm going to guess that most people who are listening, know that Catholics are pro-life. It's almost like, I think that it doesn't even need to be said, because I think everybody knows that. But if you didn't know, Catholics are really pro-life. My views changed when I was in my late twenties or early thirties, when I thought I was pregnant for the second time. I just couldn't do it. I had postpartum depression when I had my first child. I was really isolated. I had horrible sleep deprivation. I was suicidal. I had some hallucinations, which I think when people say those words out loud, you know, hallucinations, everybody just creeps away from them. For anybody who's struggled with sleep deprivation that was so bad that they wished they could die from sleep deprivation just so that the pain could stop, you're probably going to have some hallucinations. So here I was, just barely surviving when I had my first child. When I thought I was pregnant the second time, I just didn't know; I was just so overwhelmed. You know when you're a new mom and you're struggling and you're suffering in this intense, debilitating illness, who do you turn to? You're really isolated. You feel embarrassed and you feel fearful that they could lock you up against your will or they could take your child away. During that time, I clung to one person, it was like I was drowning in the ocean and I clung to another, which in itself was life-giving, and it created an overdependence.   Back then, and now, we don't know how to help others in this level of pain.   So I thought I was pregnant and I thought, I hope I can live through this. I hope I can live through this nine month and give birth, but I don't know if I can do any more than that. This is all I got.  I wasn't pregnant and I was very grateful.   I don't know how many months later it was that I thought I was pregnant for the second time.   Now, all of this time I was taking…I was using birth control. I was using very, very, successful birth control, but anything can happen just a few percentages that you could get pregnant. And then I think that when you psychologically, when you think that you could be pregnant, and I think the influx of stress hormones is overwhelming and it creates this - I think a PTSD kind of thing. I think it comes back in this flood, like as if it's all happening again, just the fear, right? …of thinking that you might be pregnant, it brought it all back. And the second time I thought I was pregnant, I thought I'm not going forward with this pregnancy. For the first time in my life, I was grateful there was an option.   You know, people will say, um, people will say, “We'll help...We'll help you. If you're pregnant. It's okay. We'll help you.” How? How are you going to help me? Are you going to pray? Are you going to pray for me? I have an episode on prayer and I'm going to tell you the magic wand of prayer is not helpful. How are you going to help me? Are you going to make casseroles for me? Are you going to bring over chicken, pasta casseroles for me? How are you going to help? How are you going to help someone who losing their mind? What are you going to do it? Insanity is not a game. Think Andrea Yates. After pregnancy and delivery. the fourth time she suffered depression that mirrored mine. When I read about what she suffered on her fourth baby, it mirrored everything I was dealing with - the suicidal illness, the hallucinations, and not sleeping, the isolation, the feelings of desperation. How would others help her? How would you have helped her? Her husband, just like mine, wanted more children. Her doctors knew that wasn't a good idea. Some who were close to her knew that wasn't a good idea, too. The difference between Andrea Yates and me, I would have had an abortion.  And I did have surgery so that the father of my one and only child wouldn't pressure me to have more children. Or I wouldn't get pregnant because even, even birth control pills, don't always work. I would do everything possible to protect myself. Andrea Yates wasn't so lucky. She wasn't healthy or strong enough after her fourth child, with her struggles with depression and under pressure to have more children from her husband. She had a fifth child. ……  The reason I could make the decision to have an abortion was because the person I worried about the most was my son. How could I leave him? How could I play Russian Roulette with my life and not know if I would be there to be a part of my son's life. My life was changed when I realized that I had options and that I could live and that I could take care of my son.   My life was changed when I realized that other people, most decidedly, the person I was married to was willing to risk my life, to have more children. I had to have surgery because he wouldn't have surgery to make sure I wouldn't have another child. Because I absolutely did not want to have an abortion. I mean, the fact that some people, the fact that some people think that people use abortion as birth control is so disgustingly disturbing. It is so sad that you would say I'm against abortion. because I don't think it should be used as birth control. So, let me tell you, is that using a birth control pill and drinking down a pill every day is the easiest thing in the world. …And using a pill with a diaphragm, with spermicide, with a condom, and that's the life that you live until you can have surgery that will make sure that you never can have children ever again. …Do you even have a concept? Do you who fight so hard against a woman to have the right to get help, do you even know what women go through? They are trying desperately not to have a child. And the flippant attitude or the yelling outside of clinics, you should be ashamed of yourself. There is no Jesus in that action. There is no Jesus that you have ever read about that behaves like that. If you ask Christians who are opposed to a woman's right to have an abortion, they will say that they're posed to it because the God that they believe in is opposed to abortions. How do they know? How do they know? How do they know what God wants, what God is opposed to? If they had to figure it out, they would say they would say that the Bible tells them. And I'm here on this episode to say they, Christians would be surprised to find out that the Bible doesn't say what they think it says in the Bible. In the book called Numbers, there's a book called Numbers. In chapter five, if a wife is accused of adultery, she must submit to a purity test that will cause her to abort the fetus if she's guilty of adultery. So, she has to drink a potion and if it causes her to die or her child, if it causes any medical issues and therefore, she aborts the fetus, she was guilty of cheating on her husband.  I imagine she'd be stoned at that stage. And that reminds me of the Salem witch trials. You know, you throw a witch into the water and you see if she drowns. If she drowns, she wasn't a witch, and this is the way you handle people that you don't like. Forcing a woman to drink a potion that would make them sick and potentially create an abortion that does not sound like God being against abortion In the book of Deuteronomy chapter 28, it says curse be the fruit of the womb, and you will eat the fruit of your womb, which I have yet to look up. It sounds really gross and I'm not really sure what that means. In second Kings Elijah prophesizes that there would be a King that would attack the Israelites. He would burn the cities, crush babies' heads, and rip open pregnant women. In that same book, a King of Israel, destroy several towns, killing all the residents, ripping open pregnant women with a sword. Another book called Hosea, God is written about as punishing the Israelites by destroying their unborn children who will die at childbirth or perish in the womb or not be conceived at all. Later, in that same book because of rebellion, some were to be killed - and you guessed it - babies were dashed to the ground and pregnant women were open with a sword In Matthew 24, Jesus says, “Woe to pregnant women and those who are nursing”, when talking about the end times. It just seemed like there's such a disregard. And in disgust and disdain and hatred for women who are pregnant or who had little, little ones. In Exodus, Isaiah and Jeremiah, there's more of these types of killings. There are plenty more stories of God killing others. There are many more pregnant women who were killed when you think about it, Noah and the flood, the destructions of the towns of Sodom and Gomorrah, not one righteous was to be found, not even the fetus of a pregnant woman. There are many more stories of human annihilation in the Bible, which brings it to light that if God really opposes abortion, why didn't God just say, so I'm going to wrap up this episode here. I know that I've barely touched the surface, but I've recorded this so many times, I think it's important to just break this up and make this into a multi-part series. It won't be the last that I'll be talking about this, but at least I just need to get this part… I just need to get through this. I want to thank you so much for listening and I, I want to let you know that if you want to reach out. I'm going to have some  - I'll have a website that I'm working on and new ways of getting in touch with me. But for now you can email me at FaceTheSun2020@gmail.com and you can feel free to share with me your thoughts and your stories. If you want to keep it just between ourselves, you can let me know that Before I would ever share anything on my podcast, I would ask your permission. If you, if you want to express any thoughts, I’m more than willing to receive that. So, thank you for listening. And until next time, remember to face the sun.
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