45 minutes | Nov 5th 2020

Everything Always Episode 66: Dealing with Estrangement with Tina Gilbertson

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If you’ve ever dealt with estrangement, you know how painful—or even shameful—it can feel. In this episode, we will be talking to Tina Gilbertson, author of the book, Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child. She has a lot of incredible insight and support to share when it comes to dealing with an estranged relationship in a positive and productive way.

Listen in as Tina offers support, understanding, and tools to help repair a relationship that has been cut off, distanced, or rejected. You will learn some really helpful ideas for reconnecting with estranged children and finding the necessary support to heal yourself and your relationship with an estranged child. If this is something you or someone you know is suffering from, we sincerely hope this episode will help bring you closer to peace and solutions that mend fences and lives.

0:54 – 8:25 -  Who Tina Gilbertson is and how she helps parents navigate estranged relationships.

8:26 – 10:21 - Reasons that children reject and distance themselves from their parents.

10:22 – 22:50 - What parents can do when they have been alienated from their child.

22:51 – 27:40  - What to do when you’re the parent left in the picture or a step-parent in an estranged situation.

27:41 – 32:32 -  Strategies and options to repair the estranged relationship.

32:33 - 42:16 – Success stories, reconnections, and what happens after estrangement.

Takeaways:

  • Why parents have more power.
  • The role parents play in alienation.
  • What to do in an alienation situation and when to actually reach out.
  • How to support your child during an alienation situation.
  • How to make relationship repairs on your own.
  • The options you have to repair the relationship

Quotes:

“It’s random who ends up with estrangement and who doesn’t. I don’t think you can draw a line between terrible parenting and estrangement.” - Tina Gilbertson

"Keep in mind, especially with people around the age of leaving home, there comes a time when they just need a little space, so it’s important not to panic. Give them space and trust that they will come back when they’re ready.” - Tina Gilbertson

"An apology is much more easily digested by the child than, 'Let’s sit down and fix this.'" - Tina Gilbertson

3 Interesting Clips:

  • 10:20 – 11:10 - Why divorce isn’t always the reason for estrangement.
  • 13:21 – 14:46 - The difference between alienating behavior and actual successful alienation.
  • 16:05 – 16:47 - How to approach a child and the power of an apology.

Links:

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