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EVERY YOUTH MATTERS With Dr. John Tan
15 minutes | Jan 14, 2022
112: Bonus Episode
I feel happy as I've completed another milestone of leaving a legacy through my podcasts. It may have been done during a challenging time but looking back, it got done. I encourage all who want to have stories and messages heard, and amplified, to get on Instant Podcast Leader!
13 minutes | Jan 7, 2022
111: Season 2 Wrap-Up Episode
Season 2 has seen me dive deeper into issues like mental health, self-harm and misbehaviours. I have raised the importance of us as adults, parents and educators to look in and practice self-care before we look out for others.It's been a great journey and I hope that what I have shared will be of help to those who want to be of help to children and youths.
14 minutes | Dec 31, 2021
110: Tackling the Rude Ones
Rudeness is typically not a natural behaviour. Children and youths who are rude have learned such behaviour through their social circles. Rudeness has to be addressed without rejecting the person per se.We have to reassure the rude person that it is their rudeness we can't condone and not themselves.
12 minutes | Dec 24, 2021
109: Dealing with the Procrastinator
Some children and youths are quick to make promises but don't keep them. It could be they are seeking acceptance without first realising the responsibility. We have to help and even hand-hold those who may require help in understanding responsibility and show them how to keep to promises.
15 minutes | Dec 17, 2021
108: Handling the Liar
Some youths who lie do so to avoid certain consequences that frighten them. It could be that they perceive they can't get what they want. We have to reassure those who lie that they are not rejected as persons; only their behaviour is not acceptable.
14 minutes | Dec 10, 2021
107: Tackling Those Who Don't Care
Some youths may display an air of indifference to hide their insecurities. Yet they could actually be saying, "I don't want to get hurt." We need to acknowledge the fears and insecurities in some children and provide them reassurance.
14 minutes | Dec 3, 2021
106: Handling the Griper
Some children and youths gripe because they want to avoid responsibility. Others do so because they have fear. An attitude of gratitude is a good antidote to griping. We need to help those who gripe by expanding their perspectives beyond themselves.
13 minutes | Nov 26, 2021
105: Dealing with the Clown
Those who like to clown around may be naturally humourous. They need to learn what and when is appropriate. We can appreciate the humourous ones while at the same time helping them direct their self-awareness.
14 minutes | Nov 19, 2021
104: Handling the 'Angel'
Some children behave like perfect and innocent beings so as to receive favour. In manipulating feelings, they learn to exert power and control. We must both tell and assure children that we will be there for them.
13 minutes | Nov 12, 2021
103: Soothing the Angry Ones
Anger is a strong emotion - often for our protection. Children who are angry all the time often lack the feeling of safety. Yet they need to learn to exercise healthy restraint. We must soothe the ruffled feelings of fear in youths who are constantly angry.
13 minutes | Nov 5, 2021
102: Handling the Attention Demander
Attention seekers fear being isolated and rejected. They need to know and feel accepted but yet redirect their misbehaviours. We should not dismiss the attention seeker but instead firmly direct and affirm them.
14 minutes | Oct 29, 2021
101: Dealing with the Agitator
Agitators have a need for exerting power behind the scenes. They need assurance and fear rejection. We can help youths by reassuring them of our acceptance and yet need to provide boundaries.
12 minutes | Oct 22, 2021
100: A 4-Step Model to Handle Misbehaviours
The four steps are:1. Identify the behaviour2. Understand the effect of the behaviour3. Identify the cause of the behaviour4. Avoid common mistakes Having a systematic way to handle misbehaviours is a helpful process.
13 minutes | Oct 15, 2021
99: Feeling Helpless and A Sense of Failure
Some children and youths believe that if they don't try, they won't fail. They give up because they don't want to be hurt more. We need to encourage those feeling a sense of despair with assurance that they can still succeed, step by step.
12 minutes | Oct 8, 2021
98: Revenge and Misbehaviours
Hurt youths hurt others. Sometimes they are mean to others in order to feel they matter. Hurt children and youths need to be soothed and reassured that they are being heard.
15 minutes | Oct 1, 2021
97: Power and Control Driving Misbehaviours
The need for power and autonomy is a basic one. Youths need to feel that they matter and that what they do matters too. Concerned and caring adults must empower children and youths through appropriate avenues.
14 minutes | Sep 24, 2021
96: Attention-Seeking and Misbehaviours
Attention-seeking behaviour is a common drive. Sometimes youths lacking in attention act up or act out in order to get it. Providing appropriate attention to children and youths can reassure them they are ok.
13 minutes | Sep 17, 2021
95: Understanding What's Behind Misbehaviours
Most humans seek belonging and hence social behaviour is often purposeful. Misbehaviour then results from a mistaken assumption of fulfiling that need. Basic drives are for attention, power, revenge and a sense of helplessness. We must look beyond the external behaviours and into hidden causes in order to redirect misbehaviours.
11 minutes | Sep 10, 2021
94: Stay Calm in the Face of Misbehaviours
Our calmness helps soothe ruffled feelings in youths. We need to practice self-care first before we can tend to others with calmness. Our calmness helps to diffuse and defuse youth misbehaviours.
15 minutes | Sep 3, 2021
93: Handling Youth Misbehaviours Starts With Me
It starts with me but it is not about me. Don't take it personally because many times misbehaviours exhibited by youths are not directed as us per se, although it may seem so. We have to question ourselves why we want to handle such misbehaviours too. An awareness of our own strengths, needs, and motives is the starting point for handling youth misbehaviours.
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