EIT 058: How To Win Friends and Influence People Summary
Shownotes: www.entrepreneursintraining.net/58
How To Win Friends And Influence People Summary
I suggest an alternate title for this book:
How to Treat Other People Well and Thus Be a Better Person Yourself.
It's basically a manual for behavior toward other people. If you follow the advice Carnegie gives, you improve your life and the lives of those you interact with. “The principles taught in this book will work only if they come from the heart. I am not advocating a bag of tricks. I am talking about a new way of life.” -Dale Carnegie In the show, we cover the fundamental principles - Part 1 of the book.
FUNDAMENTAL TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE
Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.
Criminals like Al Capone don’t see fault in their actions.
The vast majority of us don’t blame ourselves for our actions. Criticism of those actions doesn’t change that.
Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself.
Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person's precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.
Abraham Lincoln as a model: Early in Lincoln’s life he was openly and often critical of others. Eventually he realized how impractical that was, how it didn’t work. Once, a Union general didn’t follow Lincoln’s orders to attack a retreating Confederate Army just after the battle of Gettysburg. An attack would have ended the war. But Lincoln opted not to criticize the Union general, although Lincoln was furious.
Benjamin Franklin was also a master at this: "I will speak ill of no man," he said, " . . and speak all the good I know of everybody."
Give honest and sincere appreciation.
To get people to do something, you have to make them want to do it for themselves.
To do that, give people what they want.
People want to feel important, they crave feeling appreciated
Sigmund Freud, William James, John Dewey, Abraham Lincoln all said this in one way or another
James: "The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated."
Charles Schwab, paid a ton by Andrew Carnegie (Carnegie was like this too): "I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people," said Schwab, "the greatest asset I possess, and the way to devel