How many of these ladders do we see left in the pool with nobody swimming?
We are talking with Brandon Love. He’s a father of Bentley Maverick Love (named after Maverick in the movie Top Gun). Brandon along with so many other parents asks the question of how can this happen to so many children, well Brandon shares a Father’s Story in today’s podcast. Click the play button above to listen to the full story or read our transcript below and go to the section as it is timed stamped to take you right to that part you want to listen to.
His son is just like any other little boy, full of life and curious searching for things to do and to get into. Just like so many others, they just don’t know what is dangerous to them. They have no fear and will unlock a door or get out of a house by any means they can to get into the things that they can have fun with all while you are in the house unaware of what they are doing. It happens to all parents at some point in time. However, for the majority of the parent without a devastating accident. A Father’s Story, don’t let Brandon’s story become yours. Listen to what he has to say!
You can connect with Brandon via his personal Facebook page here is the link to connect with him https://www.facebook.com/brandough.love
Brandon mentions Melanie Brindleyley and her program in this podcast as they have teamed up to work together on water safety and drowning prevention programs in their communities, here is the link to their website and learn more. https://www.swimsafety.org/
Rick (00:00): Welcome everyone. Hey, this is Rick Kauffman your host with the drowning warrior podcast and this is DW nation. We are speaking with Brandon Love. You're gonna want to tune in and listen to this episode because Brandon's going to share with you this involved his son and a Brandon, if I remember correctly. It is. It also involved a nephew or a cousins, a child too. Is that correct?
Brandon (00:24): Yes, Sir my nephew.
Rick (00:26): What I'd like to do is just welcome Brandon. Brandon, welcome to the show here today.
Brandon (00:31): Thank you. Having me
Rick (00:32): Telling. Our stories are really, really important. I know many, many of us and I think you're a lot like I am. We want people to understand that our children were just regular everyday children. I mean there really nothing different between you as a parent and your children and all the other families and children that are out there running around today. I mean, would you agree with that assessment, Brandon?
Brandon (00:55): Totally. I mean it's not like we have a,
Brandon (00:58): when I was set apart from anybody, we're all pretty much the same.
Rick (01:02): I know for myself and as parents we never would have believed that, uh, we would be part of this group in this club. So Brandon, why don't you just take a moment here and tell us a little bit about your son, the type of boy he was. Tell us, tell us in your words as much as you would like to let us know, tell us a little bit about what happened.
Brandon (01:23): Okay. Well my son's name was Bentley Maverick Love uh, yes, he got his middle name from the movie top gun and it was very, very outgoing. I mean he only lived to be two years old, but I could tell like he would have had just a full life happiness, you know, he cleared any time grandma or his brother or me or anybody was upset. He could tell and he would just give it to latch on to you and he would do it again
Brandon (01:54): to at least get you to smile. And then he would start laughing. Where do you want your smile? He was very strong, very athletic. At two years old. He blew me away when we were playing catch with a baseball, throw a baseball, head your hands up and he was going to hit you with him. And he was not afraid to stand up for himself whenever his brother got to picking on him a little-bit
Brandon (02:15): and now he was just extremely outgoing and I could, I could see all of this at 10 years old. He had a huge personality. Well the slight difference in our story compared to most is drown in an above ground pool. And any more you hear people talk about the in-ground pools, knowing the fens, netting, neighbors being that close, it's a little bit different. Mean we're staying at a house one night and I had to go to work the next day. Well I woke up and I went to work. Now mind you, there were at least four or five kids in this house cause there were one, two, three adults and like five kids and the kids kind of like had a slumber party one room. So we'll let them
Brandon (02:59): all crashed in there and watch cartoons and stuff. And I went up to go to work. Like, all right, there's still two adults here. Everybody's still asleep. Uh, the adult locked the door behind me. So at 5:30 in the morning and I went to work, well at work, about nine o'clock, a strange person came up to me. I've never seen him in my plant before. And he's like, Hey, you need to go home now. Their sons had been involved in the accident and they're unresponsive. He said sons at first, I have two sons and both of my sons were there. So I'm like, Oh crap. I mean, no, I didn't know what was going on. All I knew was I needed to go. So I'd get there and they say they're being taken to Selena Memorial hospital, which is about 30 minutes away. So I get there in about 10 minutes and I go inside there and I talked to them.
Brandon (03:55): I'm trying to find my son. And they said, okay, are you Bentley's or are you Jayden's dad? I said, Jayden Jayden's my nephew, my other son was Bryce. So on the way to the other hospital, cause they tell me, Oh, your son's my here. He's at children's hospital in little rock, which is about 15 minutes down the interstate. I made it in about five, but we get there and five minutes I talked to was my step. Um, and I'm wondering and picked up my other son. So he had my other son safe. He was safe in sound. So on the way to the hospital, they had told me that my son was the one who was not responsive.
Brandon (04:47): And so I'm, you know, I'm back in the hallway, no four plays budding live. And you know, I'll never thought that's what happened to me. And I, I've seen him on the news all the time. You know, the stuff happening to the kids and different ways. And I said, I don't know. What I would do is I was on of my kids.
Brandon (05:04): That's at the time. It was his name, my sons, there Mom was
Brandon (05:08): not around. I mean, she is now, that's a completely different story. But it was just me and my kids know that they're all a had. So I didn't know what would happen. I mean, if I lost one, well we get to the hospital and there's COP. Well, in waiting room, you know, nobody was in a big rush. It wasn't like a rushing into here to seem and earnest just calm, collective trying to get us there in this full to throw me off, you know, aren't you trying to rush me so I can see my son or you know, what's going on? Completely. Just clueless. So they get us into the family consult room and that's when I really knew something was up. And then in, in walk, uh,
Brandon (05:51): Doctor and walked the nurse and, and walk, uh, the hospital, when you call up for a, you know what the word I'm looking for you,
Brandon (06:03): uh, would it be, are we talking like somebody in the clergy, like a Minister or something like that? Yeah, usually they have like a hospital chaplain or something like that.
Brandon (06:12): Yep. That's, that's what it is. Yup. All three of them walked in, sat down and my heart sank, you know, but I was still hoping, I'm still hanging on to a little bit. And I said, and I said,
Brandon (06:24): we tried everything we could, but your son didn't make it
Brandon (06:29): they said that he had passed away before he ever left the scene. Like he's, I said his vitals and everything were done before they even went the scene with them. They, so they tried the whole way but they was done and I just, my entire world changed at that point.
Rick (06:48): You know, Brandon, you know, you touched on something here too. That's I think very crucial and uh, I want to just kind of bring up all this because as part of your story very, there's some, there's some similarities, especially when we got to the hospital with our, with our daughter there, there wasn't, it seemed like some of the hospital staff didn't have a whole lot of sense of urgency to get us any to any particular place. What would you say that was kinda your feeling too? Like you got there and it's like you want to, you want to know about your son, like not here five minutes from now. I want to know about him five minutes ago, so let me know what's going on. Did you feel like they were, I don't know. I don't know the right word to put it because I don't want it to come across the wrong way and seemed like there was a sense of urgency.
Brandon (07:35): All right. And yes, that is exactly what I felt like. And it's no disrespect to them, you know, cause they're doing their job. They weren't rude, but they were just like, you're even checking in for a normal doctor's visit is what it felt like.
Brandon (07:46): Exactly what it felt like.
Rick (07:48): And, and you know, for me, to me that was, that seemed totally off, totally wrong. If a child is care flighted or the emergency, something like this, you would think that there would be some sense urgency because for us, they've, they sit they let us sit in a lobby for what seemed to be forever. I'm sure it wasn't that long. The way for somebody to come down off the elevator again, us and that's to me just didn't seem way. It should be. I mean, I just, like you said, we don't mean no disrespect, but sometimes, yeah, you know, they're, they're not in our shoes and I know they'd probably do this multiple times. And I, and I have to imagine that that is a really tough part of their job is to deal with parents in situations like this and they want to make sure that they do it right. Probably at the end of the day, there's probably really no right or wrong way and you can't make 100% of people happy 100% of the time. But, um, our situation
Brandon (08:47): I guess, cause no, as a worker it's like gets so involved in every time somebody comes in, you know, where's my kid? Where's my kid that's going to start affecting him to the point that they can't do their job. So they have to just treat it as robotically as possible, I guess you could say where it's just another check in for them so they don't get involved in, let it get the best of them.
Rick (09:11): Now when, when this happened and um, let's kind of move the clock forward a little bit and you started hearing about drowning accidents. You started hearing about this. Were you, did you ever really know before they accident? I mean, it's not like we don't understand that pools and water is dangerous. You know, we do, we know these things. But would you say that you were, so there was so many things you were not aware of that and how this problem was much bigger than what you ever really assumed?
Brandon (09:43): Oh man. Yeah. I mean, I'm not going to lie. I have no clue. It was this big of a deal. You know, I wish I did before kids, you know, maybe this could have failed preventatives, but I had no idea.
Rick (09:56): Yeah, I mean, just so if we have some parents listening to this that may not be aware, it's important to understand. And your child was too, right? Yes sir. Yeah. My daughter was three. Drowning is the leading cause of unintentional death to children between the ages of one and four. We don't say that to scare you. We say that because it happens every single day.
Brandon (10:20): It does.
Rick (10:21): And so from that standpoint and your story, as far as what you're saying, that you don't realize how big this problem is until it's too late. That's the same as mine. That's the same as the person we interviewed last week. That's the same as personal as we'll probably interview next week. Everybody says that and that's, we just wish we would have known how big this problem is. And I know here with our podcast and so many others, that's what we're working to do. We're working to advocate to get this information out so parents know they have the, they have the information, we don't look, we know that cars can be dangerous, so we put them in car seats. Right? Right. Parents need to take that same responsibility when it comes to pools. One of the things I know, um, let's talk about you and I actually kind of had an opportunity to meet at the NDPA conference last year. And new Orleans. We didn't really get a lot of time to talk and kind of really, because you know, that was your first event and you were really, you know, kind of making the rounds on speaking to everybody and hearing your story, but you really kindled a special relationship with a special person. Melanie. Brittney, right?
Brandon (11:28): Yes sir. It did.
Rick (11:29): Tell us a little bit about, you don't have to tell us about Mel, Melanie's situation, but uh, how did you two, how did you two get together and meet?
Brandon (11:38): It was coming up on a year of my son's accident and uh, I said, you know, cause at first I was like, I don't want to do anything. I just want to sit in a room by myself and just told everybody, leave me alone. But the more I started thinking about, I was like, that's selfish. I need to do something. So we held a Memorial service for, uh, my son and my nephew. Well, I started reaching out to everybody I could, I put it on the news. I contacted news stations, I contacted the radio station and there's paper everywhere trying to get everybody to come out cause I had a, uh, a lifeguard come out and give a CPR like rescue CPR instructions, like not certified but to let people know what to do, you know, if they're in that situation. But it just so happened that, uh, I was trying to find somewhere to, to send monetary donations. This hospital children's hospital got me in contact with Families,United, which led me to Melanie. So Melanie came out to my event and from there we'd just started joining the fight.
Rick (12:45): Just so people know that Melanie lost her husband, I think it will be 17 years ago in Florida in a rip current where he was making a rescue and rescued a young boy, but then went back out to rescue a, the boy's grandfather and the grandfather lost his life. And so did Melanie's husband. So Melanie is an advocate also, uh, for water safety. You guys, I know right now you don't have a website. Your, you're advocating for water safety. You're, you're, uh, you're talking about water safety. My understanding is, is uh, you and Melanie are kind of going to join forces. You're, you're not like next door neighbors but you're relatively close by and kinda overlap. You guys are looking at kind of join some forces here a little bit, right?
Brandon (13:31): Oh yeah, most definitely. Um, she lives in Conway, which is about an hour away from me and you know, like we were talking earlier with the cell phones, the internet, social media, everything in our way is not a big deal at all. So, uh, we stay in contact as much as possible, as much as our schedules will allow us. Like I'm here recently, my sister, she works at car Mart and do you know, they offer these donations, bring in cans or bringing this and it goes towards your down payment or whatever. Well, she got it approved for her district manager that they said, bring in U S approved us coast guard approved brand new life jackets and get this off of your, uh, down on your car payment. And they gave all of those life jackets to me. And right now I'm in the process of getting all of those life jackets to Melanie for her foundation.
Rick (14:23): Awesome. That's a great idea. Really is really kind of opens up a conversation and helps you reach, you know, probably families that are, you know, they're, they're probably families are buying vehicles because they have young children and everybody, not just families with young children, but everybody needs to hear a water safety message. Let's talk about your area there and you're in uh, Arkansas, correct?
Brandon (14:44): Yes sir.
Rick (14:45): Yeah. So this situation with your son and your nephew that it in an above ground pool and we, I think a lot of people, when we talk about swimming pools, I think most people get an initial impression that it's an in ground pool. I think there's probably more above ground pools probably in this country than there is in ground pools because of the cost above. Ground pools have got very inexpensive to put up. Give us a kind of a visual picture of say, a typical above ground pool in around Arkansas where you live at.
Brandon (15:25): It's definitely not concrete. It's made of a tarp material and it can go anywhere from on the like four feet deep to, I've seen some of them, five and a half feet. And you know, not only those smaller poles that are inflatable that the parents think we're going to get these for the kids. The kids can swim this one, it'll be fine or get them little plastic kitty poles and we'll just fill that out and let them, it's only up up to your ankle. It's fine. You know. And I think that's an equal issue as well as just standard above ground. But to your above grounds, they have a ladder that doesn't secure to the pole. So you know you can take it out when you're not using it. But that's how my son got in there, two years old and this boy is climbing up an adult ladder and got in the pool
Rick (16:14): and nobody else was in the pool. Right. The pool just sitting there.
Brandon (16:18): Yeah it was, cause it was so early in the morning, uh, you know, the neighbors didn't have fencing and they didn't have a safety fence around the pool or anything. Cause we don't think to do that around here. That's not like a big deal in this area where people don't think like, why do I need a fence in my yard? Or I don't want a fence in just my pool because they'll make my yard look weird with having just a fence around the pool or what am like safety? I mean, come on. I would much rather have an odd shaped fence around my pool in the yard than to be sitting here talking to you today about my son passing away.
Rick (16:54): Exactly. The picture you're painting is very similar. I'm here in Ohio rural Ohio and I could drive through any housing development, any area where I see a backyard pool and it's, there's no fence. 99.99% of those pools during the swim season are, the ladders are left in them with all the blowup toys, the floaties all floating around the water when nobody's using the pool. And we don't as parents, we don't think about that, that we don't think that those blow up toys, the water that's inviting to children regardless of age, they, they see toys, they see pools as play time. They see, you know, whatever their vision and their thought it say one, two, three years old when they're a toddler, it's like, Hey, this is where I have fun. And they have no idea because pools are just sitting, not fenced in. Um, with the ladders left in no security gate, even on the ladder at the top and they have complete access to the pool even though that home doesn't have children, there's neighboring children. And so, uh, as simple as simple fence with a self-closing self latching gate separating one yard from another yard would have stopped your son from getting to the pool.
Brandon (18:20): Oh yeah, there were, yeah. There. There's several things that could have stopped it, but that is definitely one of them.
Rick (18:25): And we refer to this in the water safety community and drowning prevention and people just like any organization group, we kind of have our own terminology and own language, but we refer to this as layers of protection. So we look at all these multiple layers of protection. There's, there's multiple, we're gonna let's, let's talk about some of these because that pool, the picture you just painted, it's not just that pool that is almost, I can't even begin to put a number to it. I would say probably 80% to 90% of the pools and at least the above ground pools, because I know in ground pools, I believe most States, if not all States require the yard to be fenced. Okay. I know here in the country where I live at, you don't have to have a fence. I mean we're where I, I could build an in ground pool at my house and why would not have to have the yard fenced in, but then the closest neighbors a half mile to a mile or so or better away and you know, so it's not like we're built house on top of house or right next door to each other, but still I'm not required to do so there was a house just down the road.
Rick (19:36): They didn't have a fence around their pool until they had grandchildren. Once I had grandchildren, they went and put a fence around the yard, but they still don't have a barrier fence between the back door and the pool because that's again is another layer protection. Brandon, why don't you talk about some of these layers of protection that you, you believe if these things would have been in place, not only just your son and nephew, but there's hundreds and thousands of others that would be walking this earth today. What are, what are some of those things that you could tell us?
Brandon (20:10): Okay. So in my case, they got up before the adults did and didn't like the adults that the kids go cut and they started pilfering around the house. And you know, I've done this on Saturday mornings. Woke up before my parents did when I was a kid and go sneak into the fridge or go turn cartoons on or something. But they didn't wake the parents up and they, one of them was telling the to reach the door. We don't know who did or what, but they unlocked it. And that's how they got outside right there. If we would have had even just, you know, your basic alarm system that you can get at any hardware store for about 15. bucks. You can put it on your front and back door, every exit to the house. And when you open that door, it's gonna wake you up right there.
Brandon (20:56): That would've woken the parents up and they could have been stopped right there. The next one would be, uh, a big thing. Even if they get all the way to the pool, we'll get to the fence in a second. Even if they get all the way to the pole, if the ladder is not there in place on an above ground pool, a kid that's say one to four years old is not going to be able to get in that pool even as they could be physically able to put their arms up, you know, kind of hoist himself over. If a kid at four year olds, four years old has to work that hard to do it, they're not going to do it. They're going to go find something else to get into. But if you take that ladder out, they're not going to be able to get into the pool.
Brandon (21:36): That's a big one to me. If you're going to have a deck around your above ground pool and lead into your back door or to have a deck at all and not connected back to work, the entrance to that deck needs to have a self flashing gate. You know, to where it won't open, where the kid can't lean on it and come open and give them access to the pool area. Like you were talking about, if you're going to build up to the pool into the house, there needs to be had another layer right there. Okay. Because you can have it, the entrance to the deck from the ground. You've got that self latching gate, but now you've got to worry about your kid wandering out the back glass to the pool because you built a deck to the pool. And I think that's where another gate needs to come into place to sell flashing gate.
Rick (22:26): Plus, I don't know, other door alarm, not just to the front door, but if that's a sliding glass door. Anything you need additional barrier there too with a, you know, an extra lock and also another door alarm.
Brandon (22:41): Yeah, most definitely put a lock up where the kids can't get to it. And
Rick (22:45): another one would be, um, let's talk about, uh, people that have doggy doors. I think we tell our children, Oh well don't do that as well. They're, they're curious. They're gonna. If they want to do something, they'll figure out how to do it
Rick (22:58): right. I mean, yeah, definitely
Rick (23:00): they, they wanted to get outside you. You're not sure who did or how they did it, but they wanted to do it. Even if it required them to get a chair or a box or to do something to climb on, to get access. There's several things. I think when we look at these, we almost have to look at a backyard pool, but whether it's in ground or above ground. So many of these backyards not only double for a place for swimming and swimming and say, you know, to enjoy water and just swim and have fun, but they also double as a backyard playground for many families and many times there's no barrier between the swing set, the sandbox and the swimming pool. And that is again, inviting a problem. Many parents think that they can stand at the kitchen window and washing dishes and watch. It only takes a second. I mean, you were talking the small, you can go to Walmart now what for three, 400 bucks, buy a above ground pool. That's what about two feet deep.
Brandon (24:08): I'll not even, not even that something man, it's gotten down to below half that, I mean maybe at least down here, but I can go to Walmart with 100 bucks right now and buy an above ground pool.
Rick (24:18): It's important to understand about an inch to an inch and a half of water is all it takes for a, for a small child to drown. That's that. That's it. And um, it doesn't take much. That's why those little tiny kiddy pools can be so parents think, Oh well they, you know, it's only got a few inches of water in it. It's, you know, they're, they're, they're fine. No, they're not. You still as a parent, you still have to have it. You need to be there. Um, because they could slip, fall, hit their head. There's a lot of things. I mean, we could, we could be here for hours and you just didn't give a scenario after scenario because we, you and I, we hear all these things because it's, I guess maybe we're hypervigilant about this. So we see things on social media, people sharing stories. So we hear stories of different stories all the time.
Rick (25:07): It's like, Oh my gosh, I didn't never heard of a child drowning that way before. And all of a sudden there it is. It happens. Yeah. And um, you know, and you have to consider if you have backyard furniture, anything that, that a child, especially with an above ground pool, you can remove the ladder. But how else is there ways for them to get in there? And uh, you know, how else can it be secure? And don't forget about your upstairs windows. Also, people say, well, my two year old won't cry, won't climb out of the upstair window. No, we have stories. I could give you stories of those happening to where they've climbed out onto a roof, shimmy down a water pipe, whatever, jumped on a tramp. I mean, these children can hardly go up and down the stairs, but given the opportunity, they'll push out a screen. They have no fear, no fear.
Brandon (26:06): It's like you said, man, they're there. If they want to do it, you're going to find a way to do it. So our job is to take those tools away from them.
Rick (26:16): And it's important to understand between the ages of one to five, it's, it's pretty equal between drownings, between boys and girls. But when you start getting a little bit older, the, the, the numbers begin to change that, you know, boys become more daring and they, you know, so we get into the teenage years, you know, it's about 80% of a lot of the drownings are male, they're boys. And, uh, because at that point where now people are daring them to swim across the Lake or swim across or hold their breath while they swim laps underwater, and then they have shallow water blackout, there's, you know, so there's as children, just because they're two, three years old, they don't, you know, the water safety doesn't stop when they turn five, six, seven, 10, 15 or, or even as adults. Let's talk about that. Did your son have any type of swim instruction at all?
Brandon (27:10): I didn't even know that it was a thing. I thought that swimming lessons or whatever, it was strictly competitive. That does exactly what I thought. I had no idea. There was even a thing. It's like a safety, safety swim lessons. I never thought of that.
Rick (27:27): And just so people know what we're talking about here is they can take a child as young as six months in some cases even younger, but typically six months to a year. And if a child falls in the water, they instantly, instinctively have learned to roll over and float on their back. And uh, and, and then as they get a little bit older, you know, as they progress through. So they start this at six months to a year and then the next set of lessons is how do they roll back over and then kick a little bit, roll back over and get their breath. So they're on their back, they're getting their breath on the bat until they can get to the side or get to where they can grab onto something and yet it and call out for help. But they teach these children not just in bathing suits but fully clothed. Um, yup. Was your son, your son was closed. Was he clothed or, I'm assuming he got up early. He's probably still in his pajamas or something like that.
Brandon (28:21): Yep. He was in shorts, a diaper and a tee shirt. So yeah, he was fully clothed
Rick (28:28): and the, and this is an important layer. I mean we, we classify the swim lessons, as a layer of protection. It's an important one because even if you had the fencing and the Gates and all these things, children could still get through some of those things. So they still need to have those, that self rescue, that rescue ability at that age to float in case they do get through all those, you know, the likelihood of the more barriers you have, the likelihood that they, they probably at some point in time won't get to that. That's the goal. But you have to equip them with that ability. And I was the same way. I did, had no clue that anything like that existed. And we were told our child had to wait until she was five. Okay, you're the swim instructor, you're a swim school. Why would I question that?
Rick (29:17): I pay, you know, I'm going to pay you for lessons. So if I pay you your, you must be a professional. You know what you're talking about. I'm not saying that they don't, but I also believe that they, you know, have a duty to, to tell me that we can't teach your child til she's five. But there's other programs out there where they didn't do that either. And your story, Brandon and yours of mine, I mean, are very common. Parents don't know that these things are out there, especially in rural America. I mean, you know, we have to drive a long ways sometimes to find an instructor even if we knew about it and we want it. I think the closest instructor to me where I'm here in Ohio, it's like 40 miles away and it's winter time. And many of them don't teach in the winter because they don't have an indoor facility. So it's, and they're booked solid. So there's not enough instructors that do this. And so we need to educate. When you found out some of the numbers and then you went down to the NDPA, um, when you went to New Orleans with Melanie, how did you feel about some of the things you were learning?
Brandon (30:20): I was blown away. I just completely baffled that the numbers and you know, said this, this entire conversation, I just, I had no idea. I didn't know it was this to this level, to this degree that so many kids are losing their lives to this and it's preventable. It's preventable.
Rick (30:45): If somebody's listening to this right now and they're their parents, they've gone through something like this or maybe they just want to learn more or maybe they're a swim instructor that wants to be more involved in a community. Would you recommend that somebody go to a conference like say the NDPA this year, just so you know it's going to be in Dallas, Fort Worth. There's different types of programs and things like that around every state and every community. Not every community, but every state has some type of, you know, programs of some sort. And we can, if you're not sure, you get in touch with me here at the Kels Group and we will, uh, we'll find something. But would you recommend that somebody attend a conference like the NDPA?
Brandon (31:26): Most, definitely. And even if you don't feel like you need enough information, which I guarantee you will, you will have information overload. So be ready to take notes and bring your computer or bring whatever you need to take notes. The amount of contacts that you get. That was my biggest takeaway from the conference when I got home was all the contacts. That's how I met you. That's how I met Bobby Pratt. Alan Korn, just so many different people, big names and water, water safety.
Rick (32:01): How did that make you feel? I mean, you know, you're a grieving father, you kind of, like you were saying earlier, you just kind of didn't want to tell your story. You really didn't want to, you know, be out there. But now that you've gone and you've met these people, how does that, do you feel energized in the best positive way? Obviously, you know, given the, just like you said, we'd much rather not be doing this because we are here. How do you think, how's that made you feel? Being more involved in doing that?
Brandon (32:29): You know, if it makes me feel a little better instead of sitting back and just, you know, missing my son and wallowing in pity and feeling sorry for myself, it makes feel a little better. You know, getting out there and trying to do something and using his story to hopefully save another child's life and meeting all these absolutely wonderful people. I cannot stress to you how much I appreciate meeting you and everybody else that I met at the conference
Rick (32:59): and it's a great support system. There's a group called Families United. Um, and like you, you mentioned them earlier, that you got in touch with them and that's how you, you run across with Melanie and exactly what the name says, families United. These are families that have suffered a similar tragedy is drowning or non-fatal drowning that you and I have and so many others and have experience. They are a community of families, loved ones, everything from young babies all the way up to like Melanie and her husband, Ken, uh, adults. And it's a great support system because everybody is walking in. They're on a journey, but everybody's in a different place in that journey along the way. And so if you're going through this, you don't have to go through this alone. Let's just say that because it's a very lonely feeling. And we feel guilty because we said, why didn't we know? Why didn't, why didn't I do something different? Why didn't I take my son to swim lessons? Why didn't I take my daughter? You know, why did I take my daughter to the pool that day? I didn't have to.
Brandon (34:06): That's, and that's what it all comes in and he's, my child would still be here today if I did this or if I did that. And it just, it, it will bash you down and take every ounce of life you've got out of you.
Rick (34:17): Exactly. And you, and I don't mean to say that it's, you know, drowning is the only way a child drowns. That this is the way you feel. I'm sure everyone who looses child, regardless of how they lose a child, go through this same grieving process and feel the same way that you and I feel. So I don't mean to lessen any particular type of accident. One's worse than the other. A child's life is a child's life regardless how the child is lost. But, but I think when it is drowning, one thing I will say is it's so personal to everybody. Even though I wasn't there, she wouldn't be the babysitter. It was my fault cause it's a father. That's my, I felt that was my job as a father was to protect my children. I would lay my life down, my child out in front of a bus, you know, so they would get to the side and I would take the hit from the bus myself. Is that how you felt as a father?
Brandon (35:07): Oh man, most definitely.
Rick (35:10): And I know mothers feel the same way. It's not just a father thing, but it's, but we have an opportunity now to be responsible and advocate for those that don't know what you and I know know. That's one of the reasons why you're partnering and going to be working together with Melanie. So what you've learned at the NDPA, you, you have now started some grassroots efforts in your community to begin the education process. Just like you were saying, the life jackets and some of the things you're doing. This has really started, as I always put it, it's a new life. You know, that life was the old life that, you know, this is my life now. You're building a legacy, you're building, you're, you're doing something positive because you would hate to have a friend come to you and tell you that they lost their child to a drowning and you didn't say anything to them. Right?
Brandon (36:01): Oh man, they would, yeah, they would tear me up.
Rick (36:05): I mean, it's just like if you had the cure for cancer, you'd tell everybody.
Brandon (36:09): Exactly.
Rick (36:11): Yeah. Yeah. And we have drowning is 100% preventable. You mentioned it, it's 100% preventable. So we can stop this. We have the cure, we have the cure, and a lot of it is is it's education. It's knowing what to do, the layers of protection and understanding just that regardless of how big that pool is in your backyard, that little tiny kitty pool is just as dangerous as the big pool. And if, and if you don't think it is, I will be the bearer of bad news here. Then you know, you're setting yourself up possibly. And I'll say possibly. I know when you were sharing with me when you first got, you'd drive a forklift, right?
Brandon (36:56): Yes sir.
Rick (36:56): Let's put this kind of as in some context. So maybe somebody could, you know, if they're listening to this and still, and they're still saying, you know what, I really, really feel bad but this, you know, this won't happen to me. You drive a forklift and forklifts can be very, extremely, it's a, it's a really dangerous piece of equipment. If you get into a situation, you may be very proficient and be able to drive that thing with your eyes closed and and know, you know, you're real fast and moving things around. Loading trucks or you know, raising that thing up 50 feet, whatever it is you're doing. When you, if you were to become complacent, figuring that I know everything there is about my job when it comes to forklifts, what would you think that maybe you're setting yourself up for an accident?
Brandon (37:38): Most definitely and that's exactly what they talk about whenever we have our, our safety gatherings meetings, most accidents happen when people start getting complacent. It's people who think it won't happen to them. They think, Oh, I've been here 30 years, I've never had an accident. And they started getting complacent and then next thing you know, they're taking down a rack of they're on their way to the hospital or well, because of what they did. Somebody on the way to the hospital.
Rick (38:03): Would you agree that water safety, if you become complacent with your water safety, that you're setting yourself up for a possible accident?
Brandon (38:12): Very much. It's not the same thing, but it's the same thing. If you'd get one, I'm in here,
Rick (38:19): right, right. You could be proficient with a forklift, a truck, a car, you may be a great car driver, whatever that, whatever it is we do in life are regular things that we do. It's just like if I get in my car to drive to Walmart, how many of us have gone and drove from point a to point B? When we get to someplace and you scratch your head, I don't remember stopping at that stop sign, the red light, whatever. Right? So oh yeah, everybody has. What about our water safety when we're sitting around a pool, can you recount every motion, everything that your child did in the water? You know how many of us are on autopilot when we're in and around the water? Even even if you would be at a, say a pool with your children, you know you're playing on your phone and you miss, you know, you miss something because we become complacent.
Rick (39:12): You know, we think we have everything covered and I, you know, I will take the heat on that. I believed I had everything covered. We had an in ground pool. I didn't have to worry. There was lifeguards, there was a lot of their people there. There was a babysitter, she was with her older sister. There would be other people watching. I got complacent and in turn she drowned eight feet in front of a lifeguard while 200 people were in a pool and nobody saw her. That's because I got complacent as a father and I assume that everything would be fine. I made a mistake. Well, we all know the saying you make a mistake and you make an ass out of yourself. Right?
Brandon (39:51): Yeah, that's true. That's very true.
Rick (39:52): Brandon, if we've got a parent listening right now, let's go. As we begin to wrap up and I'll just make sure that if, if there's anybody listening and you want to get in touch with Brandon, I mean Brandon's on Facebook, I think it's under your name. Brandon Love, right?
Brandon (40:07): Yes sir.
Rick (40:08): Yeah. So just if it's okay with you, Brandon, I will have a link to your personal Facebook page on our show notes at the cow's group. And that way if somebody wants to connect with you, if, if you're a father or a parent, um, and you have an above ground pool and you're, you have questions, then what you need to do or whatever the case in, if you're in around Arkansas or any place, reach out to them. Brandon, and I'm sure he would be more than happy to talk to you as you know, as a friend and as a father and as a parent and as a concerned advocate. And he be more than happy to advocate for water safety for you. And if he doesn't know the answer, I know Brandon knows where to go to get the information real. It's not that hard to get, but we can find it. If it's out there, we will get it. Um, if it's swim lessons in your area regardless, but if you could have an opportunity to, to talk to a parent, what w what would be the, what would you want them to really to implement right now in their life to protect against something like this?
Brandon (41:09): First off, don't be afraid to share your story. Share your story because they've been doing that alone. Can help somebody, can help save somebody's life and engage the community, engage the community. Because once you reach out into your community, everybody else's want to start reaching out and just want to start branching out. And then before you know it's going to be a statewide doesn't, it's going to be a region wide reach out.
Rick (41:39): And if you're not sure if you have layers or protection in place, get in touch with me. I have a, I have a water safety checklist that will, it's got a, it's got 12 topics on it from in-home water safety to backyard pool safety to pool safety, to swimming, safety to boating safety, open water safety, vacation safety, beach safety lifeguard or life jacket safety. There's over 170 plus check points on this checklist to begin to have that conversation to make sure that you have your areas covered because this is something that we've done and put together that'll just at least get the conversation going because layers of protection. Brandon said it right there. That's have to implement it, not just one or two of these things. You need to implement all of them. It starts in your home, like your window alarms, door alarms, and then it goes outside.
Rick (42:31): And then you, when you go on vacation, you've got to take your water safety with you on vacation. You may, there may be somebody listening to this right now that says, Hey, I have all that stuff in my pool. But what about when you go on a vacation, you go onto a boat dock. If you go to beach or you're swimming in a motel where there is no lifeguards and it says swim at your risk, what are all you, you know, look at all those things because complacency, setting yourself up for failures is being complacent, believing that you have everything covered and, and you very well may have, but it never hurts to double, triple, quadruple, check yourself cause safety should never take a day off.
Brandon (43:11): No, never.
Rick (43:13): Alrighty Brandon, we appreciate you sharing your story and uh, those of you that are here listening, I am, we invite you to be part of DW nation.
Rick (43:21): We be part, invite you to be part of what our drowning warrior podcast. Make sure you subscribe, like share, share this story through you. Whatever channels that you use, share it and let people, other, other people, because you may share this and it just might reach somebody and save a life. You would hate to listen to this. Just like we would hate to share, not share our story and have somebody come and tell us like, you would hate to listen to this and know that you heard this and somebody comes and tells you that they know of a friend of theirs that drowned this coming summer in a pool, because I'll guarantee you there'll be a family by the end of today listening to this that will know Brandon's pain and my pain and so many others. There's 10 people a day in this, in the United States with the drown and two to three of those are children. On average, there's over worldwide, there's just under 50 people per hour drown worldwide a day, every hour. And that's, that's, so it's a worldwide problem. It's not just here in our country. So that's important, right?
Brandon (44:28): Of course.
Rick (44:29): Yes. All Brandon, we thank you and we will see everyone in the next week.
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