Drive On Podcast on Stitcher

45 minutes | 8 days ago

Feel like you’re experiencing burnout or just don’t have enough time in the day? This episode will give you tips and strategies to help avoid burnout in your life. Links & Resources A Better Place Consulting on Facebook A Better Place Consulting on Instagram Bunny Young on Instagram Bunny Young on YouTube Bunny Young on LinkedIn A Better Place Consulting Website Transcript Scott DeLuzio: 00:00:03 Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast, where we talk about issues affecting Veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcast. If you’ve already done that, thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes. As soon as they come out, if you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit Drive On Podcasts.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email list. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show. Hi everyone. Thanks for joining us today. My guest is Bunny Young, who is an Army wife and founder of A Better Place Consulting, where she teaches burnout prevention strategies to military and law enforcement personnel. So welcome to the show. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background? Bunny Young: 00:01:03 Yeah, so I think you nailed it with Army wife. I’m a third generation, actually fourth generation Army wife, granddaughter daughter, and great-granddaughter. So, we have a Fort named after our family. I’d say it’s definitely the Army in my blood. I’ll be the first one to harass anybody who’s not Army. And the first one to stand up for anybody who messes with any of us. I often tell people I hold the highest-ranking position in the United States military and that’s wife. I can speak to anyone in any certain manner and the repercussions will be pushups upon my spouse, not upon me. So I went to school to be a therapist. That’s when I got my master’s degree; I lived in China for about a year. I volunteered in Ecuador at an orphanage and just really through those experiences was exposed to a lot of trauma. Bunny Young: 00:02:05 And when you grow up in a military family, there are certain things that seem par for the course for you. And when you’re asked to give a sit rep, it’s like just the basics. It’s no feelings, no emotion. The worst thing my father ever told me was that he was disappointed in me and that’s just because of the trust and respect that was built. But my entire childhood was definitely built on these core values and service to a purpose higher than yourself. And I have a heart condition. So, I know everybody’s going to give me a hard time about this in my family, but the Air Force turned me down because of my heart condition. I’ll have I scored really high on my ASFAB and so the way that we figure it out is if you’re brilliant, you can go Air Force or Chair Force, as we like to call it. If you’re brilliant and strong, then you can go Army. If you’re not brilliant, but strong, you got Marines. If you’re not brilliant, not strong and you can swim, it’s Coast Guard. And if you’re not brilliant, not strong and you can’t swim. It’s the Navy. Scott DeLuzio: 00:03:16 That’s an interesting hierarchy there. I like that. Bunny Young: 00:03:19 That’s how the recruiters figure it out. That really brought me to this aspect of an organizational psychology approach, where a lot of people were burning out because of their professional demands and then having marital or familial issues because of the stress of their professional demands, whether it be first responders or military, or just a job in corporate America and also being able to tie the purpose. I don’t know a corporate situation that puts you through the brainwashing that the military does in order to say, the life that you had prior to when you step foot off of that school bus with your rucksack and everything is over, we own you now. And here’s your new definition, here’s your new identity, here’s your new call to life. And I think that’s also something that a lot of families struggle with because as a spouse, you’re supposed to be the most important thing to your loved one. And as coming into this, I understood that it was going to be the Army before me and the Army before our children. And it all changes in a matter of a moment. So, just the two people that laugh when I make plans are God and the Army. That’s really my background and kind of the approach that I took was how can we bring basic training and the thought process around core values, purpose, mission, vision, and your abilities and your MOS into a work-life alignment. Scott DeLuzio: 00:05:07 So, how do you do that? What does that process look like where you bring these values together and work towards the goal of ultimately reducing the amount of burnout and the overall stress and creating a better wellbeing for these individuals. Bunny Young: 00:05:29 So, if you go past six years in the military, PSY OPs is going to show you that if I asked you what your core values are, they’re going to be the military branch that you serve, core values, you have fully adopted that identity, which makes transition back to civilian life very difficult. It’s very difficult to find a company that stands at that high level of core values. And so from a civilian side, we help individuals identify what their core values are. What’s going to make them feel fulfilled in life. And from the military side, being able to hear the only time that I really feel fulfilled is when I’m flat on my belly, looking through a scope and how do we apply that to the civilian side to say, basically that’s a career in law enforcement or special ops within law enforcement and first responders, or as a trainer, but even that sometimes doesn’t fulfill you. Bunny Young: 00:06:33 And so it’s that constant analysis and self-awareness and that’s really something that is difficult when you’re transitioning out of the military is that self-awareness. Nobody asks you what you think. And so, to be able to say, how do you feel about this, is very difficult and in the civilian life, believe it or not, we’re not asked what we want to be when we grow up anymore. We’re not asked what we think. You’re given this onboarding procedure that is like drinking out of a fire hose to say, here’s all the boundaries. And here’s all the things that are important to our company, but nobody says what’s really important to you and that’s supposed to be what your therapist deals with. And so, when we infiltrate companies, we say, no, you’re a human and we have to address the human aspect of it. Bunny Young: 00:07:25 And even from the military aspect of it, we’re doing more proactive planning. So, to hopefully decrease the amount of military and veteran suicide and to combat post traumatic stress, because that’s really where you’re supposed to be fine. Well, on the therapeutic world fine stands for F’d up, insecure, neurotic, and emotional. And we’ve found even from the structure of support groups sometimes where you’re coming in and it’s like, well, I had this blow up next to me and I was shot 15 times. And then you’ve got somebody who just suffered the trauma of just watching somebody die. And it’s like, your broken arm doesn’t necessarily hurt any less than my splinter, but the structure of the current support groups or the support groups of the past can feel a little bit like I want to use an inappropriate word, but like a pissing match. Bunny Young: 00:08:25 That’s not what we want. We want to create an environment where it feels open and we can share, and we’re not retraumatized by sharing and not feeling like our feelings are valid. My husband and I had this conversation the other day because I was in a car accident last year and I have posttraumatic stress around driving. I had post traumatic stress from a sexual assault prior to that. And my neural pathways didn’t differentiate those two things. They just process them together as if in the car accident somehow I was retraumatized and our daughter was just messing with me and I walked out of her room and she jumped on my back and I immediately had a reaction that most of you probably can empathize with of I got her off of me and was not in my body at that moment. Bunny Young: 00:09:22 And so I had to sit down and have a conversation with my husband and he’s comparing that I was just in an accident. I know people who are blown up but my body and my brain don’t know that. And so how do we approach it from the human perspective and identify that each human is different. And regardless of the fact that we’re all going to have the same uniform, we’re all going to have the same haircut. We’re all going to have the same credos; we are different humans. And how do we process that? Scott DeLuzio: 00:09:49 Right. And so, I appreciate you sharing the story of your experience and how different situations can create some sort of post-traumatic stress in different individuals where one person may have had post-traumatic stress from watching someone blow up or themselves getting injured, or even in your case, a car accident or a sexual assault or something along those lines, those all are traumatic events. And if you were to take any one of those and look at them in and of themselves, they’re all traumatic. It makes sense that there would be some sort of post-traumatic stress that happens during those. And so, just because you weren’t blown up in that car accident, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t deserving of, I don’t want to say recognition because that’s not the right word, but the treatment that comes with the posttraumatic stress. Maybe it comes from some sort of counseling or therapy or whatever the case may be but you’re just as deserving for something like that as someone else who was in combat and saw atrocious things happening as well. Scott DeLuzio: 00:11:14 It makes that that type of thing happens. I appreciate that you shared the differences between the different levels that people might think of, but they’re not really different levels; they are really one in the same. Bunny Young: 00:11:31 Yeah. And one of my favorite therapeutic sayings is, I have not walked in your shoes, but I’m willing to sit here and listen to you helping me understand what that felt like. And sometimes that’s just a magical space. And for Army families that are listening to this and military families that are listening to this, there is something called compassion fatigue, or secondary trauma, where no, you were not there, you were not deployed with your loved one, but you are experiencing secondary trauma from watching your loved one go through the struggle of this trauma. And so those are both very real things and whatever route you feel necessary in order to get support, my encouragement would be to get support. It doesn’t make you weak. In fact, I think for the most part I’ve experienced, it takes more courage and bravery to sit down and say, I’ve got stuff going on, then it does to say, I’m fine. Scott DeLuzio: 00:12:33 For sure it does. Yeah. The easiest thing you can do is just ignore things and keep doing what you’ve always been doing, but it’s not always the right thing. And sometimes it’s hard to admit that you have a problem with some post-traumatic stress or whatever your individual case may be and to go get that type of help that you need. It’s not the most comfortable thing to do. I will say from my own personal experience, once when you do pick up the phone and make that appointment, and you actually verbalize saying that whatever the problem is, it does feel like a weight’s being lifted off your shoulders. It did in my case anyways, where I picked up the phone, I called and I immediately felt like I’m no longer carrying this weight by myself. Scott DeLuzio: 00:13:26 I now have somebody else who’s going to be there. I haven’t necessarily met with the person yet, but I have that person who’s going to be there. Who’s going to help me carry some of it and figure out what to do with it too, so it’s not constantly sitting on my shoulders. So, that’s another analogy that people can make as well, whether or not they are in the midst of trying to decide whether or not they want to go to therapy or whatever treatment type thing that they need. It could actually be very beneficial. We’re here really talking about burnout and how you help people with the strategies that they can use to prevent burnout. Before we started recording, I was looking at your bio and you have quite a lot going on between running four companies currently, I think is what your bio was saying. If you run four companies and you’re also a mother with two kids and an Army wife, and I have to imagine there’s probably other things going on, but I also imagine that at some point you felt burnt out yourself. Have you ever dealt with the burnout and how did that look? Bunny Young: 00:14:45 Oh, I would say dozens of times I think I have a PhD in burnout just from experience. We did an analogy of how many tours of burnout I’ve had. It would be a lot; so, I think a lot of that goes to not being able to differentiate what my emotions are versus what I’m experiencing from others. And as a therapist, it was very difficult for me, especially in social services to separate my emotions from that of my clients. I cared too much and that some people will be like, that’s not possible. Well, when it negatively impacts your health, your wellbeing and your ability to function. Yes, it is possible. And so, there’s five stages of burnout and the first one’s that honeymoon stage. And so, if we want to take it through a military analogy you’re going to be deployed to Kosovo, right? Bunny Young: 00:15:46 And so there’s that initial dump of adrenaline. It’s like, yeah, we’re going to go do this, and it’s your body’s natural reaction to be like, yes, this is going to be hard. This is going to be stressful, but I’m doing this with my brothers and sisters. And let’s go do this. And then we get into the stress phase of burnout, and then we get into the chronic stress phase, and then we get into actual burnout. And so this is where you start to see the disengagement. And this is where you start to see more of the agitation and more of the person’s not who they once were. And then you get into the habitual burnout, which is not a place that you can never return from, but it’s a place that ends up having possibly permanent impact on your mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional wellbeing, and a person who is in habitual burnout, is not fulfilling their potential in a way that is prioritizing their own health. Bunny Young: 00:16:58 And so, I often tell people when you think about burnout; you think, Oh, it’s the worst thing in the world? Well, burnout is something that we all experienced at certain periods of time, I’m sure after watching Princess Bride for the 15th time with my daughter, I’m a little burned out of it. Like that’s okay. And just to be over it. But if I’m sitting there and start to just not even have those associations or feelings or responses, and I’m not even engaged with the movie anymore, I’m not even engaged with her and I’m not laughing. I’m not experiencing the emotions. And after the movie’s done, I’m just kind of a shell of myself. And all of my reactions are pretty extreme. Like it’s either zero reaction or extreme. That’s a sign of habitual burnout, and you can see that with multiple tours and multiple deployments in quick and rapid succession. Bunny Young: 00:18:00 Then you can also see it in individuals that have been at a job that they don’t feel fulfills their calling and fulfills their purpose. And they end up applying themselves initially with that excitement and honeymoon phase of, Oh, this is going to be such a well-paying job. And then very quickly years, if not sooner down the road, they’re in habitual burnout. And it doesn’t always have to go in that order. I mean, this is an order that some therapists somewhere put together and said, here are the phases of burnout, but you could easily jump into habitual burnout, and then find some kind of vacation and get back into just chronic stress. Scott DeLuzio: 00:18:48 So, you can jump between these stages, but these are the different degrees of burnout that you might be experiencing. And the honeymoon stage that you’re talking about that first stage actually sounds pretty fun to a lot of people. This is like, yeah, it’s going to suck, but I’m going to enjoy it. It’s almost like the basic training. If you’re looking forward to going to that, it’s like, it’s going to suck, there’s going to be people screaming in your face or you’re going to be tired and dirty and all this stuff, but when you’re going through that, it sucks, but you can look back on it later and be proud of the thing that you accomplished, whatever it is. I use basic training as an example, but there’s plenty of other things that suck. There’s “embrace the suck” mindset. Bunny Young: 00:19:39 There you go. Scott DeLuzio: 00:19:41 And it’s perfect. It’s a perfect analogy. That’s for the honeymoon stage. I can definitely see how people slip into these other stages that I wrote down here, and especially with the disengagement that you’re talking about when you get to that burnout stage, that is definitely a thing that people deal with. So, how do you balance these things? Everybody has a lot of things going on in their life. They oftentimes don’t feel like they have enough time to do all of the things, whether it’s their job or their family or other things in between that they don’t have time for all of this stuff. How do you balance all of these things so that you can avoid burning out? Bunny Young: 00:20:30 So I don’t balance anything. I align it. I think balance is BS because if you think about a Teeter Totter, somebody down somebody up, I’ve never been on a Teeter totter where we’ve been able to perfectly balance it. And me being six foot three, I’m normally the one who is sitting on their butt on the bottom as the person is teetering high up in the air. So, I like to think about alignment when you wake up. Your first priority is always to yourself, even as a soldier as you know, a military service individual, your first priority is to yourself. You cannot be the best that you can be without being the best mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. And so, we’re bringing a lot more meditation ironically enough, starting with the Marines on the meditation and being able to have that self- awareness and self- awareness is different than thinking for yourself. Bunny Young: 00:21:35 And because we would never ask a Marine to think for themselves, but it’s an awareness of what’s going on. I know the comments you’re going to get on this podcast, and I just can’t wait for it, especially from my own Marine friends; they know I love them. So, being able to be aware of your physiological reactions to stress and to emotions and how you wake up in the morning, and then also what you’re saying to yourself. So that moves into self-management. So, you go self-awareness and self-management, and then after you have those abilities, and you’ve taught that to everybody on your team or your unit, then you go into team awareness and team management. And this is where I can look at my battle buddy and know when there’s disengagement, when there’s habitual burnout and when I know that they’re not going to be the best for that day. Bunny Young: 00:22:36 And then I need them to get their shit straight so that we can move on. And so we have this culture of suck it up and we’re changing that, and that is being changed because there’s only so many times that you can suck it up. And so being able to move through that self-awareness, self-management team awareness, team management. When I wake up in the morning, the first thing that I’m going to do is make sure that I’m doing a meditation. I have a journal; I’m doing some fitness. I try to fill all four parts of the self, which are physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, and whatever spiritual means to you, even if it’s just, this is my rifle, there are many like them, and this is the only one, this one’s mine, that’s spiritual for some people. Bunny Young: 00:23:32 For others, it may be prayer. And so that’s the four parts of the self, and that’s really to make sure that those are in alignment and then the rest of your day align it around through that focus. What gets you through the day? I’d imagine, because I have not been there in anyone’s boots on the battlefield, but what gets you through the day and pulling that trigger are your battle buddies. And in knowing that ultimately, you’re fulfilling a higher purpose and that’s what gets you through all the rest of the tough crap. And so if you can align your day on, I’m going to get through the tough stuff and not say that my whole day is going to go to crap because I had this bad experience, but that I’m still here and I’m going to go home and today’s going to be a better day. Bunny Young: 00:24:20 We have this amazing capacity to change our minds and our attitudes in the blink of an eye. And so you choose what you’re going, what your perspective is going to be. And that is how you can wake up and say, today’s going to suck. I need a cough drop and I need some tissues because I’m not feeling well. No one’s going to bring you cough drops and tissues in the sandbox, it’s not going to happen. So what are you going to tell yourself so that your day can get better from there? Scott DeLuzio: 00:24:54 There’s something I heard a little while ago, to kind of put what you were saying into some sort of perspective about not letting your day just go to shit because something bad happened. If someone wants to give you $86,400, and I know that’s an oddly specific number, but bear with me. If someone gave you $86,400 today, I’d imagine you’d be very happy with receiving all of this. So you’d be very happy, but then all of a sudden someone came around and stole a hundred dollars from you. Would you throw away the rest of the $86,300 to go chase after that hundred dollars? No, you wouldn’t. That wouldn’t make sense because you’re leaving a whole lot on the table to go chase after that hundred dollars, but we all have 86,400 seconds in a day. And if someone stole a hundred seconds of happiness from you in that day, would you throw away the rest of the day? Just because someone decided to take away a couple minutes of happiness from you? That doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. And so, to what you were saying about how you can’t just throw all that away, while you’re going through your day. Bunny Young: 00:26:19 Remember that the six inches between your ears is precious real estate, and don’t let somebody live rent free in your head. Also, when somebody says something to you that pisses you off, chances are the meanest voice that you have ever heard on the face of this planet comes from that voice in the back of your head. And so, take stock in and why what they said pissed you off, and either agree that they don’t need to be a part of your life or deal with the trigger that just happened in the back of your head. Scott DeLuzio: 00:26:52 Yeah, absolutely. And how could people deal with some of those triggers that come up? Bunny Young: 00:26:59 I mean, for me, sometimes it’s so funny. I have a variety of exercises for this, but sometimes I tell people to imagine that the voice in the back of your head is just that shitty roommate. And you just tell them to go to the room, shut the door, and you don’t want to talk to them anymore. And it’s a funny analogy, but at the same time, that’s fine. For Harry Potter fans, I often think about the Albus Dumbledore scene where he takes this memory or whatever, and he pulls his wand and pulls it out of his brain and throws it away. And I’ve literally done this at a stoplight and the guy next to me looks to see where the litter was that landed out of that. And so, what I say to the person is, thank you for that feedback. Bunny Young: 00:27:49 I’m going to need some time to process that, or I don’t necessarily agree with what you said, but I respect your ability to have that opinion. And we went through this with the Kaepernick situation. I was hot. We have a thing in our household that says, we interrupt this marriage to bring you football season. I am the football fanatic. My husband, not, he doesn’t really care. So, my husband and my dad are over and it’s Sunday afternoon and I watched this go down and I am just fricking hot. And my husband and my dad just looked at me and they’re like, Nope, that’s why we do this so that he has the ability to take a knee. If he wants to, it’s his freedom. And I’m like, “Oh my gosh, that’s human perspective. Little did I know, come to find out that he actually went to a veteran and said, “I want to make the stand, but I want to do it in the most respectful way possible.” Bunny Young: 00:28:48 And I don’t think sitting on the bench is, and he actually received that feedback that taking a knee would be the most respectful way to bring awareness to that. So, just when somebody says something and you want to react, it’s okay to react, but don’t react with emotion, react with information. I needed more information in that moment rather than just getting totally hot. First off, I’m sitting there ready to go to blows because it’s my family that you’re disrespecting. And my family has a completely different perspective than I do. Secondly, I didn’t know this person’s story who is doing this. I knew why he was doing this, but it wasn’t his intention to disrespect our flag or disrespect our country. And so, I think that there’s in this world, it’s a really incredible time to be able to just say, what did you mean by that? Scott DeLuzio: 00:29:46 Yeah, absolutely. And I think that, especially these days, it needs to happen more often because people are very quick to jump to conclusions on all sorts of issues, whether it’s political or social issues that are going on, people just jump to conclusions. They assume that the other people have the worst of intentions and they don’t. I have to imagine that most people are probably pretty good people. There are definitely some people out there who have bad intentions, and they actually want to see the world burn, but I don’t think that that’s the vast majority of people. Bunny Young: 00:30:22 Well, and with burnout, to your point, as far as the hundred dollars, how much money did I just burn and how many seconds did I burn going to coaching Kaepernick, first off, he definitely didn’t hear me; none of my teams have ever heard me, but I’m the best coach in the world. That’s the thing, check your emotions and how much you’re dumping into that, because that can significantly save you time and energy in the burnout space. Scott DeLuzio: 00:30:55 Exactly. Yeah. Because you end up losing more than that in that analogy, you ended up losing more than that hundred dollars, because someone stole that hundred dollars from you, but you ended up losing 200, 300, 400, 500 as you’re chasing it down and trying to, like in your case, yelling at the television about whatever was going on, you ended up losing more than whatever was initially lost, instead of the flip side to that is, Hey, I don’t really agree with that. That sucks, whatever the thing is and just let it go. Bunny Young: 00:31:35 And what are you modeling for your children and how many seconds are you stealing from other people? Because how many of us leave work pissed off and come home and take it out on the closest things to us. So, my husband calls me on it all the time because I’ll come home and have a shit day. I’m in a crappy mood, but then here’s the service dog behind me. I crawl in bed and just cuddle with him. He’s the best thing since sliced bread. My husband’s like, why does he get that treatment when you have a crap day? But I’m having to deal with everything else. And I’m like, well, you know, I don’t know, he’s cuter. So, just think about that from a real estate perspective, from your own brain and then how it impacts those around you. Scott DeLuzio: 00:32:26 So some of the things that you were talking about earlier, the morning routine, maybe the meditation, the journaling, the spiritual, whether it’s praying or whatever the case may be; all those things are good ways to start the day. What about for somebody who already feels like they don’t have enough time in the day and it feels like that’s just adding more things onto their plate and that might sound a little cumbersome to them. What would you say to people who feel like they don’t have enough time in the day for really anything? Bunny Young: 00:33:04 So what are you going to say no to? Your calendar is yours. There’s a magical white space on your calendar sometime in the next few weeks or months or whenever it is. And so, if that’s where you start by planning to wake up at 5:00 AM, New Year’s resolutions, it doesn’t matter. You can start tomorrow. So, when I was diagnosed with my heart condition, if you knew that your time on earth was limited, what would you stop doing? And stop wasting time on right now? And I guarantee you, if you’re like me, Facebook would be the first thing to go. If you have a digital wellbeing app on your phone, how much time you waste on social media and email and all that kind of stuff, I check my email once a day, once every couple days; you emailed me, there’s an autoresponder that just says good luck and Godspeed, Bunny Young: 00:34:06 if you’re going to get a response to this. And so, it’s like email doesn’t make me happy. Facebook really doesn’t make me happy. And so what are you going to stop doing? You have the same amount of time as Elon Musk, Dwight Eisenhower, any of these individuals that, yes, I’m an Ike fan. Go ahead and leave your comments on that too, but he’s a better golfer than you. So, that’s the thing I had a friend of mine, my company sent me journals and different kinds of professional and personal development products to try out. And ironically enough, I had this journal that was sent to me and then a lawyer friend of mine was like, you need to start using this journal. And I had the same response of, when would you like me to start taking the time to write down my thoughts and put little, pretty hearts next to it. Bunny Young: 00:35:01 This is not middle school, I’m an adult. I’m not doing this. The key thing about the journal is that every morning and every night there’s gratitude. So, every morning and every night I’m starting and stopping my day with what I’m grateful for, huge mindset shift and in today’s targets, there’s only three instead of a to do list that’s a mile long. And so, I think that asking yourself what you’re willing to stop doing in order to prioritize what you want to be doing and what you want to be left with that legacy. You know, they talk about the dash on your tombstone. So do you want that dash to be that you pull 8,020 hour weeks? Or do you want that dash to be that you never miss a softball game or baseball game that you’re staying frozen too. Bunny Young: 00:35:55 This is me personally at the top of my lungs to my kids last night. I’m so glad that you weren’t there to record this. Those are the things that, what was I actually doing at night that prevented me from doing that watching, I don’t know what we were watching, drunk history, I think is what we were watching. It’s hilarious by the way, if you ever want to waste some time on your life, but like at the same time, drunk history versus my kids stop telling yourself that you don’t have time for it because you do have time for it. You have the same amount of time as the rest of us. And remember that you may have some more time than other people around you. And so it’s not so much about making time. It’s about making an impact. Scott DeLuzio: 00:36:39 That’s a great way to put it. When you’re talking about people who are working 80 hour weeks, or long hours and they’re just slightly slaving away in killing themselves, basically just through this work; they don’t wind up any happier, they maybe have a bigger paycheck than you or I or somebody else and that’s fine. That’s nice. I might be able to buy a fancy house and fancy cars and clothes and all this other stuff, but when do they get a chance to enjoy any of that stuff and actually sit down and relax and just be present in that moment. And so, that doesn’t necessarily contribute to their happiness. They may feel like it’s going to, but it doesn’t always. Scott DeLuzio: 00:37:36 So some people have their happiness strictly tied to money and more power to them, but not in the military. They probably don’t have a family of their own or not a great family life to begin with. And so, where they’re not focused on building their relationship and spending time with their kids, singing songs from frozen or whatever the case may be, they’re not there present in that moment. So, I love how you put that, that was really well put. Bunny Young: 00:38:17 Quick trick is, I guess now it’s your OCP is slide journal, and when you’re sitting there waiting, because you never sitting around and waiting in the Army, right? Just write notes to yourself, to your kids, to your family, get the stuff that’s in between your ears out on a piece of paper. The other thing is switch your cell phone, the black and white mode. It makes it less attractive. And it’s a huge psychological shift when you open your phone and it’s in black and white, and it reminds you that you’re trying to break up with that relationship and that codependency on your phone. It’s very easy to make phone calls in black and white, because remember we used to do it when cell phones first came out and all the way back when we had landlines and rotary phones and all that kind of stuff, but switching your smartphone and turning it into a dumb phone by making it black and white and shutting off the mobile data, you can still make phone calls and texts. And then what else do you really need to be doing in that moment? What else could you be doing that would be making an impact instead of just wasting time? Scott DeLuzio: 00:39:30 Yeah, that actually hits on a point that I’ve been toying with, the idea for myself of ditching my smartphone and just going back to an old dumb phone that flip phone, you can make phone calls. And if you needed to text someone, you sat there and tapped the numbers 27 times to get through the letters and everything like that. That would really reduce the amount of screen time that I have in my day. I haven’t pulled the trigger on that yet and made the switch, but it’s been something that I’ve been considering for a little while now. But you’re right. We do spend too much time doing things that don’t matter, Facebook, games on your cell phone, Angry birds, whatever people are playing on their phones; it’s stuff that just doesn’t matter. Scott DeLuzio: 00:40:23 And so when you do that, it takes up time and time is a valuable resource and once when it’s gone, you can’t get it back; and so when you find how much time you’re actually spending doing these things on these screens and devices, you’re absolutely right. I don’t it could hurt to reduce the amount of time that you’re spending on these things. So, is there anything else that you had that you wanted to talk about? I do want to give people a chance to find out more about where they can get in touch with you and things like that, but, was there anything else that you had that you wanted to cover before we wrap up? Bunny Young: 00:41:08 You know, as we’re recording this for five or six months into COVID and this pandemic, and also a lot of civil unrest. And so, we put together the team, and I put together this e-book called “How to Stay Sane During Insane Times.” The one thing I want you to know about that book is that it’s free and it’s an eBook. You download it; it has video content in it from my life. And it’s there to try to help you cope with whatever it is that you’re going through. And I know that this is not going to be the last insane time that we have. And so, being able to offer you that resource is an honor and a pleasure to be able to do that. And I hope that thousands, hundreds of thousands of people take advantage of it, because sometimes when you feel like you’re in the foxhole and you feel like you’re totally alone, if somebody just handed you a shovel, you can either stop digging, or you can figure out how to get your way out. And so, if that eBook is not your resource, find your resource, Scott DeLuzio: 00:42:19 And this episode is scheduled right now anyways, to be coming out a couple of weeks after the election in the U.S. So, hopefully the eBook is not needed in response to that election, but you never know, these are crazy times 2020 has been crazy. And you never know. So, anyways, thank you again, it’s been a pleasure speaking with you. Could you share where people can go to get in touch with you, find out more about what you do, maybe a website or things like that? Bunny Young: 00:42:52 So, A Better Place in Consulting.com or BunnyYoung.com. Will both take you straight to that eBook. And you can hear Guinness dreaming in the background. If you want to connect on Instagram, it’s @ bunnyhassixlegs because I have a service dog. I’ll also make sure that I give you all the links for the social, for those that are driving while they’re listening to this and just want to be able to get it afterwards. But, if you message me, if you comment on something that’s on social media, I’ll be there for you. I have no problem making sure that I’m that person that you can rely on. Scott DeLuzio: 00:43:34 I will have links to all of this your website, social media, where to find the eBook, and everything else that you do. I have all that linked up in the show notes. So, everyone can find that, please don’t crash while you’re driving trying to write this stuff down. It’ll all be there for you later. So, thank you again very much. It’s been a pleasure and I really do appreciate the information that you had to share with us today. Bunny Young: 00:44:04 Thank you so much for having me. Scott DeLuzio: 00:44:11 Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, Drive On Podcast.com. We’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram at Drive On Podcast.

16 minutes | 15 days ago

Veterans Day

This episode is all about Veterans Day. In the COVID era, many schools are cancelling their traditional Veterans Day assemblies, so I thought I’d put together a little something that parents and teachers could use. In this episode: History of Veterans Day How we celebrate Veterans Day Difference between Veterans Day and Memorial Day Why we celebrate Veterans Day on November 11th Ideas for celebrating Veterans Day Links & Resources Anthem Veterans Memorial Arlington National Cemetery Celebrate Veterans Day with Your Children Military Themed Pumpkin Carving Stencils Transcript This past Memorial Day I did an episode that talked about what Memorial Day was all about, and probably more importantly what it isn’t about. Considering tomorrow, as of the date that this episode will be released, is Veterans Day, I figured I would do a similar episode today. With all of the kids who are doing some sort of remote learning, homeschooling, or some other variation on what we might consider a normal education experience, I thought an episode like this might be good for all those teachers and parents who may not be able to do a Veterans Day assembly like they had done in previous years, and also for those who just want to know more about Veterans Day. Veterans Day is observed on November 11th each year in the United States. It is a day where we pause to give thanks to everyone who served in the United States military and celebrate the sacrifices they have made for us, and the freedom they fought for. Originally, Veterans Day was known as Armistice Day. Armistice Day was created to celebrate the end of the fighting in World War One. The fighting in that war ended at 11 o’clock on November 11, 1918. In other words, the fighting ended at the 11th hour of the 11th day in the 11th month. Across Europe, the day is still known as Armistice Day, and it’s known as Remembrance Day in Canada. They’re different names for essentially the same thing. So, you might be wondering, if Armistice Day was created to celebrate the end of World War One, why is it now called Veterans Day, since Veterans have fought in other wars. Armistice Day became a legal holiday in 1938 20 years after the fighting ended. That’s the speed of the Federal Government for you. A few years later the United States entered World War Two. That war was even more significant in terms of the number of deaths and wounded American troops. World War One had about 117,000 deaths while World War Two had about 405,000 deaths. World War One had about 204,000 wounded, while World War Two had about 671,000 wounded. There was a movement that started in 1945 by a World War Two veteran named Raymond Weeks to expand Armistice Day to celebrate all veterans, which started to gain momentum. Eventually in 1954 Congress amended the name of the day to Veterans Day so that the day could recognize veterans from all eras, past, present, and future. Again, the Federal Government is amazingly efficient when it comes to these sorts of things, aren’t they? This time it was only 9 years after that movement started, so it’s progress I suppose. In 1968 a Uniform Monday Holiday act was put into effect, which made three-day weekends for federal employees on several holidays including Washington’s birthday in February, Memorial Day in May, Labor Day in September, as well as Veterans Day and Columbus Day in October. Yes, both Veterans Day and Columbus Day were celebrated in October. Each of those holidays were to be celebrated on a Monday, which in effect would create a three-day weekend for federal employees and anyone who followed the federal holiday guidelines. The reason for this was to encourage people to travel on their long weekends rather than just getting a random day off in the middle of the week. It actually sort of makes sense, because when people have an extra day off on the weekend they’ll be more likely to take a weekend trip somewhere, which encourages them to spend money on touristy stuff, hotels, entertainment, restaurants, and things like that. So Veterans Day observations were moved to the fourth Monday in October starting in 1968. So why do we celebrate it on November 11th now? The reason why is because it was such an unpopular change to the holiday that Congress moved Veterans Day back to November 11th starting in 1978. November 11th, afterall was the date that fighting ended in World War One, so by moving the holiday, it lost some of its historical significance. Moving the holiday back to the 11th continued to recognize veterans as well as the historical significance of the day. Really, the day has two purposes. One to serve as the anniversary of the end of the fighting in World War One, and the second is to celebrate veterans for their service. Now, while I’m on the topic of the purpose of the holiday, I want to bring up something that I talked about in the Memorial Day episode I did a few months back. I want to reiterate this point again in case you missed that episode. There are several military holidays throughout the year, which honor different groups of people connected to the military, and I don’t know if it’s patriotism or confusion, or whatever but people have a tendency to thank veterans on all of these military holidays. In particular I’m talking about two holidays. Veterans Day, and Memorial Day. As I mentioned at the top of the show, Veterans Day is celebrated on November 11th, and is a day to thank military veterans and service members for their service. Memorial Day on the other hand is celebrated on the last Monday in May. This is a day to honor and remember all of those who died while serving their country. The reason why I bring up the difference between these two holidays is because when you thank a veteran on Memorial Day, it is looked at as an odd thing to do from the veteran’s perspective. That day isn’t for us. It’s almost like if I were to wish you a Happy Birthday on someone else’s birthday. That would just be weird wouldn’t it? I mean it’s the thought that counts, but I probably could have waited a little while for your actual birthday to wish you a happy birthday. It’s the same idea with Memorial Day. That day is for honoring the people who died in war. Last I checked, I still have a pulse so I don’t fit that criteria. However I, and others like me, do fit the criteria for the veterans who are honored on Veterans Day. Most veterans won’t have a problem with being thanked for their service on Veterans Day. As a matter of fact, most enjoy the celebrations that occur on Veterans Day. With that said though, there are some veterans who don’t like the attention they get on Veterans Day. It may bring up bad memories for them and be hard to deal with, so thank a veteran but if you notice that they are uneasy when you offer your thanks, you may want to back off a bit with that particular veteran. Don’t feel bad about it, just sometimes veterans have done things that they aren’t particularly proud of and holidays like this bring up bad memories. You didn’t do anything wrong or inappropriate by offering your thanks, it’s just not something that particular veteran wants to acknowledge. No big deal, just move on. On the topic of celebrations and customs, every Veterans Day, there are ceremonies and parades all throughout the country, although I don’t know if it will quite look the same this year. Arlington National Cemetery, where service members from every one of America’s major wars from the Revolutionary War to today’s wars are buried, holds an annual service at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Schools across the country hold Veterans Day assemblies, which will probably be less common of an occurrence this year, but hopefully will pick back up next year. Additionally, parades are held in communities throughout the country, in which veterans from all generations as well as members of veteran and other patriotic organizations march. Some parades end with speeches by local veterans. In addition to the parades and ceremonies, there are other ways you can celebrate Veterans Day. Some people put together care packages for deployed troops, which not only is a good way to show your appreciation, it also can provide some much needed supplies to service members who can’t just run out to the store to pick up a few essentials. Some people visit veterans’ hospitals to brighten the day of the veterans there who may not have family nearby, or at all. For parents and teachers, you can do patriotic crafts with your kids or students. I’ve even seen some pretty cool looking pumpkin carvings with soldiers and American flags that could be cool to try. If you do something like that, be sure to take a photo and tag Drive On Podcast in your social media posts, I want to see what you come up with. Other people will invite a veteran to speak to their community or organization. I’m actually giving a talk on Veterans Day this year to a nearby community, which consists of mostly older veterans but they wanted to get the perspective of a veteran from the post 9/11 era, so I’ll be talking to them about that. If you work in an office you can take a little time out of the day to acknowledge the vets in your office. Maybe it’s something as simple as sending an email out reminding everyone in the office who the veterans are so that everyone can thank them for their service, or bring in some patriotic themed snacks to show your appreciation. Or, if you know of veteran owned businesses in your area give Amazon a rest and go shop with them for a change. Some businesses may even offer special discounts to veterans on Veterans Day as a way to show their appreciation for their service. I mentioned earlier that Armistice Day was originally celebrating the anniversary of the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month when fighting formally ended in World War One. Traditionally, a pause is given at 11am on Veterans Day to honor and remember those who served with a silent thanks for our freedom. And if you haven’t heard of this, there is a cool memorial in Anthem Arizona, which is designed to let the sun’s rays pass through in a certain way so that it creates the Great Seal of The United States on the other end of the memorial. This happens at 11am every Veterans Day. Thanks for listening. Hopefully this episode provided some background on what Veterans Day is all about, and gave you some ideas on how to celebrate the veterans in your life.

47 minutes | 22 days ago

Succeeding In A Post Military Career

33 minutes | a month ago

Operation Freelance

61 minutes | a month ago

Burden of Command & Drive On Collaboration

35 minutes | a month ago

The Catalyst

Kevin Rose talks to us about a rather unique approach that helps veterans learn to de-stress and be more present in the moment. The technique involves the use of predatory animals like tigers, bobcats, panthers, bears, and other animals who have the potential for being extremely dangerous. I mention this so that you realize that this is not to be done on your own. This technique needs to be done under the supervision of professionals like our guest Kevin Rose. Do not attempt this technique on your own. Links & Resources Catalyst Refuge Website Catalyst Refuge on Facebook Catalyst Refuge on Instagram Catalyst Refuge on Twitter Catalyst Refuge on YouTube Transcript Scott DeLuzio: 00:00:03 Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast, where we talk about issues affecting Veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcast. If you’ve already done that, thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes. As soon as they come out, if you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit Drive On Podcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email lists. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio and now let’s get on with the show. Hi everyone. today, my guest is Kevin Rose, who is the founder of The Catalyst and author of the book, The Catalyst Experience, How Rescued Tigers Heal Trauma Scarred Souls. So, Kevin, welcome to the show. I think I may have gotten some people’s attention when I mentioned tigers and the title of your book. So maybe you can tell us a little bit about your background and what it is that you do. Kevin Rose: 00:01:09 Absolutely. Thanks for having me, Scott. So, I am a manual therapist. I’m licensed as a massage therapist and I’ve been doing that for about 25 years. And I noticed many years ago that I could help people relax but there was something missing. And I’m going to take you through a really quick rundown. I started a program, started actually right after 9/11 when I felt like I was called to do something for those returning home from war and the program eventually became The Catalyst and The Catalyst is a human-animal interaction experience where we bring people face to face with tigers to help them relax. Now I know that sounds perhaps a little reverse, but it actually works. The way it works is I work with a rescue animal sanctuary in the town where I live and I teach a very simple technique to help people relax. Kevin Rose: 00:02:17 So when someone shows up, I’ll have them think of something stressful, be able to feel it in their bodies. And then what we do is we work through the animal sanctuary and we go from enclosure to enclosure and as the person is feeling whatever they’re feeling, whether it’s anger, fear, whatever the emotion is, the animal will literally begin to mirror whatever that emotion is. They may start pacing, growling, moving away. Then I teach this really simple technique and as soon as the person begins to ground, which is what this is called a grounding technique, when they begin to ground into the present moment and settle, they watch the animal mirror that as well. So, it’s literally a live biofeedback, but we’re working with all kinds of animals. And what I found was, I started working with alpha predators, in order to match the dynamic that I experienced working with combat vets. Kevin Rose: 00:03:22 I had the opportunity clinic where I worked many years ago. The doctor provided free programs for returning Veterans to help reintegrate. And what I noticed, as I mentioned earlier, was I could help people settle down. I could help people calm down, but then when they got up, it was like the stress just shot right back up. So I thought there’s gotta be some way to change this dynamic and long story short, it was actually working with tigers working with wolves first that brought me that awareness, but then working with tigers that really helped to change that dynamic in the brain literally. Scott DeLuzio: 00:04:07 Okay. So, this might just be me but the thought of working with some of these large animals doesn’t give off much of a Zen or calming vibe to me. I think my blood pressure was rising as you were talking about working with some of these animals. So how does that work? How does the whole process work? Where are you in the enclosure with the animals? Are you just outside the enclosure or what is that process look like? And how does being with some of these alpha predator type animals help to teach people how to calm themselves down? Kevin Rose: 00:04:52 So if I can explain a couple things really quickly about why we are in heightened states of alert, and one reason is there is a functional, a structural component in our brains called the reticular activating system. Now what this reticular activating system does is it takes in all the environmental information and it processes it into basically one of two groups. It’s either known or unknown. And when that unknown gets signaled, what the reticular activating system does is it throws up a warning called the fight, flight, or freeze response. You’re familiar with that, right? So, the fight flight or freeze response now puts you in this place of reaction. You have to be ready for everything. And so, but what happens is if you’re in this constant state of alert, basically the fight or freeze response gets stuck. And so even when you’re in a calm situation, you’re heightened in that fight, flight, or freeze response, because you’re always ready for something to happen. Kevin Rose: 00:06:10 All right. So, what I found was, and I’ll tell you a quick story. I had the opportunity to work hands on with wolves and I entered the enclosure with the wolves with other people having been a little training beforehand, but it’s a place called Wolf park. And it’s an anthology park where they study the wolves in their “natural habitat.” So, there’s a main pack of about seven wolves in a 25-30-acre enclosure. And so, they study them. How they hunt, how they mate, how they interact with each other. And so, I’m walking into this enclosure and my role there was to actually work on the wolves with whatever their injuries were. So, I’m walking into this enclosure and I look down this hill and there’s this pack of seven wolves flying up the hill at me. Kevin Rose: 00:07:09 Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a wolf in real life, but they’re about 150 pounds and are massive animals. And they’re all coming up the hill tongues hanging out focused on me because I’m the new guy, right? So, you can imagine my fight, flight, or freeze response is way high. Okay. So, they approached me and they come around me and because I’m so nervous, they start bumping and grounding because my nervousness is actually heightening their response. And I’m challenging the hierarchical situation by my heightened presence. So, I had to do something. I didn’t know what I should do, but the voice of my grandmother comes into my head. She taught me this technique, which I’m going to teach it in a little while, but she taught me this technique, how to use my senses and how to ground into the present moment to settle myself. Kevin Rose: 00:08:04 So I thought, well, that’s all I can do here. I can’t run obviously. And so, I start grounding myself. And as I did, the wolves just began moving away. They dissipated, they just oil and water. They just moved away. And I thought, wow, that is amazing. I wonder if I could do it again. So, I got myself all riled up again, and sure enough, they came right back around and started circling being bumping and grounding. And I grounded myself again, as soon as I did, they moved away. And then this time they allow me to work hands on with them one at a time coming up one at a time. And even the alpha submitted himself to me that day to work on, which is pretty amazing because I could keep myself grounded, they felt comfortable. So, the reason I started working with tigers was the availability. Kevin Rose: 00:08:53 I began volunteering at this animal sanctuary because I was looking for a place to do this. And I spoke to the owner and told her, “I have this idea for this project. I want to offer it free to combat Veterans. It may sound a little weird, but here’s what I want to do.” And her father was a combat vet who committed suicide as a result of PTSD. So, the doors were opening as they came. So, I started working with these tigers. And here’s what happens when you’re around a tiger. You’ve probably never been close up to any big alpha predator like that. Correct? Scott DeLuzio: Right. Kevin Rose: Right. So, what happens is when we step into this enclosure, we are not in the enclosure, we’re up next to the fence. Kevin Rose: 00:09:44 And when we step into this area where we’re that close to a tiger, what happens is your fight, flight, or freeze response naturally goes up? I don’t have to elicit it. I don’t have to tell you to think about anything other than something I always say, bring the stressful thought to mind and that’s as far as I have to go. And so that’s just natural excitement, whether it’s excitement or fear, it elicits that fight, flight, or freeze. And when you’re in that state, I teach this really simple technique that brings you down really quickly. And you begin to see and notice how the tiger reacts and responds to where you are. Does that make sense? Scott DeLuzio: I think so. Yeah. Kevin Rose: And so, it’s not about creating fear, but what it is about is replicating a feeling. If I can replicate a feeling of stress that you’re dealing with constantly, anyway; if I can replicate it really quickly and in a relatively safe and controlled environment, then I can show you how to systematically turn that down. Kevin Rose: 00:10:56 Every time it comes up, the body choose us, it’s got biological cues. So, when you’re hungry, what do you do? You eat. Thirsty, drink; when you’re tired, you sleep. You don’t really think about those things. The body just gives a cue, and then you follow that cue. Well, stress and pain are the exact same. Wait, the body is just trying to get your attention and it gives you a cue. So, it begins to elevate that stress level. But what we’ve learned in this culture is to immediately go to our brains and try to figure it out. What that does is it just adds to the stress. Because if we ask our brain a question, it’ll give us an answer, but it’s probably not the most workable answer. So, when you’re cued, then the best thing to do with stress and pain is to follow that cue and go back into your body. Kevin Rose: 00:11:59 That’s all your body’s asking you to do when you get stressed. So not asking you to do anything else, but to come fully present in the moment and just like hunger, thirst, and fatigue, if you don’t listen and respond with eating, drinking, and sleeping, your body will speak louder until you do; it’s the same way with stress and pain. But if you hear that cue from stress and pain or feel that cue, and you totally become grounded in your body, the biological cue begins to satiate. Now it may come back, right? Eating, drinking, and sleeping. We don’t do that one time in life, and then it’s over, right? So, it’s a repetitive process, right? And so that’s what I teach is this is not a onetime thing. This is a repetitive process that when you begin to identify the cues, you have a way to change that dynamic. Can I teach you this, Scott? Scott DeLuzio: 00:12:59 Yeah. I think that would actually be very helpful to people who might be listening to this and not necessarily have the ability to, if they don’t have access to a tiger or other things like that? So, where they can maybe practice this type of thing on their own. Kevin Rose: 00:13:18 Absolutely. So, do you have anything there to drink with you? Scott DeLuzio: 00:13:22 Yeah, I do. Kevin Rose: Awesome. What is it in the cup? Let me see what you’re like a water bottle. Okay, great. I just want to know Kevin Rose: 00:13:29 to be able to reference it correctly. So here you can just set it down for now, but the way I’d like to start is just feel yourself sitting in the chair, wiggle your toes a little bit. When you wiggle your toes, what that does is it brings your awareness all the way down through your body, right? This is step one. Your body is just calling you inside. Hey, just come in. You wiggle your toes. Now, as you’re sitting there feeling the chair against you, bring to mind something that creates stress. Scott DeLuzio: Okay. Kevin Rose: You have something. Scott DeLuzio: Yep. Kevin Rose: All right. Now, as you’re thinking about this stressful thought, begin to notice, where do you feel the stress in your body? Where does it translate for you? Scott DeLuzio: 00:14:13 In my neck, actually, as soon as I thought of that thing, it was in my neck that I literally had a pain in the neck. Kevin Rose: 00:14:26 So if I were to ask you to quantify that zero out of 10, zero being not stressful at all, 10 is excruciatingly stressful. Where would you say it is in this moment? Scott DeLuzio: 00:14:35 Right now, it’s a three or four. It’s not super stressful. Kevin Rose: Yeah. Very good. So, pick up the water bottle. Kevin Rose: 00:14:44 Yup. Hold it in your hand. And I want you to really bring your awareness to your fingertips. Notice the texture of the bottle. Notice temperature. Scott DeLuzio: Okay. Kevin Rose: I want you to take a drink. And as you’re drinking, tastes the water, smell the water, listen to the sound of the water going down your throat. Scott DeLuzio: Right. Kevin Rose: And bring your awareness back to your fingertips. Really notice the texture of the bottle. Now, zero out of 10, measure that again? Scott DeLuzio: 00:15:13 The stress it’s not, I’m focusing more on the water bottle now than the stress. Kevin Rose: So how is the pain? So yeah, it’s like not there. Kevin Rose: 00:15:28 Here’s the thing. This isn’t a trick. We’re not distracting you away from this stress. This stress actually distracts you out of your body. All I’m doing is bringing you back in. Scott DeLuzio: Right. Okay. Kevin Rose: So, using all five senses at once, what that does is it brings you fully present in your body. And so, when you do that, then the body goes just like you’ve had a good meal, a nice long drink, a nice nap, whatever it is, right; same reaction and same response. And so that’s what I teach people. When they come and work with me, I teach people on the phone. I teach people on Zoom. However, the mechanism is just this simple. It’s no more complicated than this, but what happens is if you begin replicating it throughout the day; so for example, I wear a necklace, not as a fashion statement, but what happens is I feel that necklace touching my chest. And when I do it reminds me to ground. It reminds me to wiggle my toes, engage all five senses when I’m in the car, start getting heated from the traffic immediately that’s my cue, wiggle my toes engage all my senses. What do I see, smell, taste? And as you do that, you drop back down into the body and the distraction in the brain begins to quiet. Okay. Scott DeLuzio: 00:17:04 So I previously had someone on the show who talked about using horses for a similar form of therapy that because a horse mirrors your behavior the same way that you were talking about here. So, that was, for anyone who might want to go back and listen to that episode. So, that was episode 54 with Jennifer O’Neill. You can go back and listen to that if you want, after listening to this episode. But, for example, if you’re being standoffish and the horse will display similar behaviors but if you’re being calm and relaxed, the horse will be more approachable and it sounds like, well, I’m sure there’s more to it than that. There’s a lot more to it, but it is pretty simple. Yeah. In a nutshell, that’s sort of what we’re talking about here. It seems like that’s kind of the same situation that you’re talking about with the tigers and the wolves and other animals that you’ve worked with. Kevin Rose: 00:18:03 I’ve worked with horses and dogs and it works with all animals, right? We’re not limited because at the sanctuary we have monkeys and fox and birds and there are all kinds of animals and the difference is with the predator animals, they don’t back away. And so, with a horse if you’re upset, a horse will back away from you. A tiger will do just the exact opposite; it’ll come towards you. And so, what happens is the reason that I was so focused on doing it with combat Veterans is because in combat it’s in your face all the time. Right? I mean, it’s a constant thing. So, I’m working with the alpha predators. What it does, is it really kind of elicits that core feeling, whereas with working with prey animals, it seemed to me that you had to actually work harder to access that. Does that make sense? Scott DeLuzio: 00:19:14 Yeah, it does. I think, in a way too, with combat vets who, like you said in combat, you’re always on, it’s 24/7 kind of in your face type of thing. If your reaction to being around a tiger or an animal like that is causing that tiger to come towards you and start acting a little bit more aggressively or whatever the case may be towards you. It’s definitely going to make you have to rethink what it is that you’re doing in your own response. So that negative thing that tiger kind of acting more aggressively towards you is not going to continue happening. You can get that to maybe back away or de-escalate the situation. I’m sure that’s very similar to what happens in everyday life, where there aren’t these big predators looking around; well, not the furry ones now there may be a semi on the highway that you’re passing and that could be even more dangerous. Scott DeLuzio: 00:20:33 Is there something about you, you mentioned that all animals have some sort of senses like this, but is there something about working with these types of animals specifically that works for people versus maybe some other options, like maybe talk therapy or other animals, like the horses that I mentioned or dogs or anything like that? Kevin Rose: 00:20:54 Yeah. You know, I always say to people look, do what works for you. Right. Do what works for you. The only thing that I’ve noticed with this work is that it gives you a really grounded place to start from. So, if I teach you how to ground, right. If I teach you, and if you do talk therapy, you do whatever therapy. If you don’t stay in your body and you don’t stay grounded, then everything becomes mental. And so, I’ve witnessed not just in other people, but in my own self, I can create some fire just by the thought process. You know what I mean? And so learning how to ground into your body, learning how to ground in the present moment, when you do that, and you use that as your core functioning place, everything added on to that is going to be so much more effective. So, I don’t say that it’s a fix all by any means, but it’s an excellent place to start. Scott DeLuzio: 00:22:03 Yeah. That makes sense. And the way you described it, when I had the water bottle in my hand, I was feeling the texture of the water bottle and tasting the water and feeling it going down my throat and all that, that kind of stuff. And literally being present in the moment that feels like a meditation type practice. Is that sort of what you’re talking about? Kevin Rose: 00:22:27 Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I’ve tried to meditate and I can do it some, but who has time anymore? So that’s the downside. I hear people say, I just don’t have time and whether you do or not, that’s irrelevant. So, my whole approach was what can I share with people that they can do at any time in the day? I’m doing it right now while I’m talking to you, because I’m always trying to ground myself. And I said, my grandmother’s voice. So, my grandmother taught me this when I was 12 years old. And she taught me because she saw that I was having challenges in everyday life and at home and at school and all of that. And she just showed me this. She had a 50-acre farm and we used to take all the walks. Kevin Rose: 00:23:16 And so she showed me this in nature. And I think that’s the key to this is nature is always going to be truthful. It may not always be nice and fluffy, but it will always be truthful. And so when you learn the lessons there, I believe it’s so much more powerful, but she taught me this and I was doing this for years and didn’t even really know what I was doing until I started developing this program. And I needed something quick that people could do right now in the moment. So yes, it is a meditation and yes, that’s where people are reaching for when they meditate. At least that’s what I believe is to remain grounded. So, having something that’s accessible that you can do all the time, I think is super important. Scott DeLuzio: 00:24:10 It seems like that. And I know that there are people who, especially combat vets who are coming back and early on, when they first get back, people tend to think, “Oh, you should just be able to act normal again, you know?” And just why do you have to be on alert all the time? Well, because for the last six months, nine months to a year, whatever the case may be, you were in a combat zone and you had to be on all the time. And it’s hard to just turn that off. So of course, learning a process like this, to be able to de-escalate yourself and ground yourself down to a better baseline level, could be especially helpful for those people who are just returning from overseas where they were constantly on. And quite frankly, even while they are overseas and while they are deployed having this ability is also super helpful so that when they come off of patrol and they’re there on their base in a relatively safe and secure area, they’re not constantly on high alert and they can allow their brain to take a little vacation for a little while., anyways, not saying that they need to totally turn off, but Kevin Rose: 00:25:32 Right. And that, you know, and the thing about it is there are a lot of great points there. We, I actually did a program at Lemoore Naval station with the doctor that I worked with him. We were working with guys that were being sent back and, you know, they were saying, look, I, I can’t get to call, because I’m going back into this and it left an impression on me. But I remember thinking, I remember even saying to one guy, this isn’t about zenning out. It’s not about that. how much more effective are you when your call, right? You can be, you can be totally heightened, but calm at the same time. And so, we taught them this, and that’s what we said. And even if you can’t do it, you know, if you can’t do it all the time, at least when you’re down, it can give you some way to just create a moment of relief. Kevin Rose: 00:26:30 And that’s the biggest thing too, is you come home and people are like, well, why can’t you? Well, because you’ve been on red line for however long you were deployed. People don’t understand that. And it actually was the impetus to create the program because I saw that people didn’t understand that. And at the time I didn’t want to see anything close to what the Vietnam Vets faced when they came home with the public sentiment. I wanted to be able to create something that could teach how to come back, reintegrate with as much as possible. I think that it’s actually a crime that we send people to war and don’t do this immediately when they come home. I think that’s something we owe as a public, we owe anybody that risks their life for this country. Scott DeLuzio: 00:27:29 Yeah. And this actually answered my next question that I wanted to segue into, but you did mention earlier in the episode here that you felt like you were called to service after 9/11 to help these people who were coming back from Iraq, Afghanistan, wherever they were deployed to, and that’s something I feel like is missing these days. A lot of times people who feel like they have something to offer and provide that service to these people who are sacrificing quite a bit to go and defend us. I certainly thank you for doing that, especially, you offer the service to combat Veterans for free. So, it’s not cheap to keep tigers around or anything like that. And I know you’re using the sanctuary, but still there’s a cost involved there and it’s not probably insignificant either. Kevin Rose: 00:28:45 It’s the least that I can do. It is my service to the country. I wasn’t in the armed forces. I always felt like that as a citizen that we contribute. I’ve had really generous benefactors that have helped take care of some of the overhead. I’ve been able to teach classes and things to keep money coming in to help the sanctuary. They are great people. They take animals from adverse situations and give them forever homes. So, their overhead is high. It’s not cheap but it’s all done in service. So, it is absolutely our pleasure and yes, it’s always free to combat Vets. Scott DeLuzio: 00:29:37 That’s wonderful. So, with that said, it’s been a pleasure speaking to you about this today. And I want to give you the opportunity to let people know where they can go to find out more about what you do, about The Catalyst and your book and everything that you do, where they can go and find more information about all of that. Kevin Rose: 00:29:59 So everything can be found at on my website, www.CatalystRefuge.com. So that’s CA T a L Y S T refuge, R E F U G e.com. And there’s a link to the book and things like that on the website. I wanted to share one more thing with you. Scott DeLuzio: 00:30:23 Yeah, absolutely. Kevin Rose: 00:30:24 So, a lot of times when I talk about this, it seems a little woo for lack of better word. And so, I always want to throw in a little bit of physics. Scott DeLuzio: 00:30:38 Okay. Yeah, absolutely. Kevin Rose: 00:30:40 Are you familiar with the phenomenon of resonance? Scott DeLuzio: 00:30:46 Not intimately, but I know enough about it. Go ahead. Kevin Rose: 00:30:52 So if I may just really quickly, so there’s two objects that are attuned to the same frequency. If one object begins to move or oscillate, the other object will eventually begin moving an oscillating at that same pace. So, this is a physics phenomenon. So, an example of this is when you have two acoustic guitars in a room, you can pluck the string. And if they’re tuned to the same key, you can pluck the string on one. And the string on the other guitar will begin to resonate and make that sound without being touched. In an airplane, they attuned the metal to a different frequency of the engine, because if they didn’t, it would break apart in midair, right. That’s resonance. So, the reason I bring this up is because what we’re doing when I’m working with people, I’m actually bringing myself to that person’s frequency showing them a different frequency, and then we’re both going there together. So, we resonate, right? So, if you think about it this way, when you walk into a room and it feels weird, you’ve had that before, right? Tense, whatever, you can feel it, you don’t even know these people, but you can feel it, that’s resonance. But if I walk in this room and I ground myself, what happens is the person outside is already attuned to the same frequency, but they begin to feel my grounding and it invites them to oscillate at that same pace. So, when I teach one person go home, Kevin Rose: 00:32:40 they oscillate at a different frequency and their family, their friends. Do you know what I mean? So, it’s like this passing on of a different way of being. So, I just bring that up because that’s really what we’re trying to do is not just change and help one person, but when you help one person, it affects everyone. Scott DeLuzio: That’s great. And having that kind of almost infectious result, where it can spread the benefit to other people where that same kind of vibe is being felt by other people that’s phenomenal that that can happen. I can assume that only can help family lives and work situations and things like that. So, that’s wonderful. So, again, thank you for joining us, sharing about what you do. Scott DeLuzio: 00:33:41 Again, the website is CatalystRefuge.com. I’ll have links to that in the show notes so you don’t have to stop your car to write that down, and I’ll have links to all your social media, YouTube page and all that type of stuff in the show notes as well. So, people can go check that out and check out your book too. If you’re interested in that, I’ll have a link to that in the show notes as well. So, thank you again, Kevin. It’s been a pleasure speaking with you. Kevin Rose: Hey, thanks for the time Scott. I appreciate it. Thanks so much. Scott DeLuzio: 00:34:16 Thanks for listening to the Drive On Podcast. If you want to check out more episodes or learn more about the show, you can visit our website, DriveOnPodcast.com. We’re on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @ DriveOnPodcast.

35 minutes | 2 months ago

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71 minutes | 3 months ago

10 Year Anniversary

In this episode, I asked a few of my brother’s friends and family members to share stories about him to commemorate the 10 year anniversary of his death in Afghanistan. Links & Resources Episode 14: Wes Black Transcript Scott DeLuzio: 00:00:03 Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast, where we talk about issues affecting Veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that, thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes. As soon as they come out, if you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email list. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show. Over the weekend, on August 22nd, our family observed the 10th anniversary of my brother, Steven’s passing. For those listeners who might not be familiar with his story and how he died… Scott DeLuzio: 00:00:54 My brother and I were both deployed to Afghanistan in 2010. On August 22, 2010, his unit was out on a patrol and they began receiving enemy fire, and Steve was killed pretty much as soon as the fighting had started. There is obviously a lot more to that story, and one of Steven’s friends, Wes Black, talked more about that day back in Episode 14. So, if you’re interested in hearing the story of the events that went on that day, please go back, and give it a listen. That was a really good episode. Anyway, I thought I would do something different to honor my brother in this episode. I’m a firm believer that a person will continue to live on in our memories so long as their story is told by the people who knew them best. So, I asked some of Steve’s friends and family to record a few short stories about him. Scott DeLuzio: 00:01:49 Now, if you’re wondering why you might want to hear these stories, the stories serve two purposes. First and foremost, I wanted to share these stories for Steve’s friends and family. It offers them an opportunity to hear some of the stories that they may not have heard before or to reminisce on some familiar stories that will bring a smile to their faces. And second, for any listeners who didn’t know my brother or our family, it gives you an insight into a Soldier’s life. It makes at least one Soldier’s death, just a little bit more personal to you. That way, when you hear about a service member who was killed in the line of duty, you don’t dismiss it as just another news story. You take a moment to listen to the story and think about the Soldier, the Marine, the Airmen, the Sailor, the Coast Guardsmen, who was killed and think about them as a real person. Think about them as someone’s child or sibling or spouse, aunt, or uncle, even just as someone’s friend, those service members all have stories of their own to share. And these are just a few of my brother’s stories and I hope you enjoy them. Scott DeLuzio: 00:03:01 First off, we have Steve’s XO from the 2010 deployment, Micah Kidney. Micah Kidney: 00:03:07 Hello, my name is Micah Kidney and I served as a First Lieutenant and the company Executive Officer for Alpha Company during our deployment in 2010 to Afghanistan. Now I’m the battalion executive officer with a third of the 172nd, the battalion that Alpha company fell in under during the deployment. At this point I’m a Major. During the deployment in 2010, 3rd Battalion was attached to the 101st, 187th Airborne Taskforce Rakkasan. They were located at FOB Solerno, which was about 60 or 80 miles to our South. 187 Airborne, they fell in under the 101st Airborne. At the time 187th was commanded by then Colonel Viet Wong. He himself was a guy who immigrated to the United States as a child from Vietnam. Micah Kidney: 00:04:03 Pretty cool story. He was an incredible leader who came in after August 22nd to spend time with the platoon. I definitely will never forget sitting out on the LZ at combat outpost Herrera, when he flew in on his Black Hawk, his command Black Hawk, and looked into our eyes, he had tears in his eyes and he just wanted to share the fact that the loss that we felt, didn’t stop on a company level. He felt it up to his level and it meant a lot to us. We definitely, really appreciated it at the time and I still do. Anyways, Steve’s job in 2010 was a team leader with Alpha Company, 3rd Platoon, at combat outpost Herrera, which was in Jaji province, in Eastern Afghanistan along the Pakistan border. His platoon was fantastic. They had a great young platoon leader named Charlie Flood and a fire-breathing platoon Sergeant, Smitty, and a couple of incredible squad leaders and team leaders, Chuck Ames, Isaiah Gomez, Steve DeLuzio, was one of those guys and Rob Kocher. Micah Kidney: 00:05:20 So their leadership in that platoon, was top shelf. Combat outpost Herrera was at the apex of three legs of what would look like a tripod, each consisting of an MSR, like a supply route in a low ground with mountains on both sides. First platoon, owned to the Northwest up towards [inaudible] and Rockion, Second platoon owned the leg of the tripod to the South towards the Candor Cal Tarkanai and there was an outpost down there and the Ahmad Calc DC, the district center, a third platoon, Steve’s platoon, owned to the Northeast up through Ali kale, right to the East of our outpost through Bella up about 10 to 12 clicks up to BCP 12, 13, and 14, along the Pakistan border, looking down into the Pakistan city of Perishenar. Each platoon had a tough AO, but 3rd Platoon’s AO was pretty big. Micah Kidney: 00:06:23 And it was just a massive area of operations still. Our company AOF for the Taliban was like a web of mountain trails and go pass. For the most part it was a highway for Taliban fighters to enter Afghanistan from Pakistan during the fighting season, headed West towards Gosney North, towards Jalalabad, but mostly towards the Capitol and Kabul to the Northwest. And it was our company mission and each of the platoon’s mission to disrupt and interdict that Taliban infiltration into the heart of Afghanistan. We also had a secondary mission to train the ANA, the Afghan National Army, the ABP, the border police, and the ANP the Afghan national police in Jaji, where we were located. I didn’t know Steve before the deployment, but I was lucky enough to be out with platoons almost every day. Micah Kidney: 00:07:19 And I got to know Steve pretty well. We came to know each other as lifelong hockey players who loved, lived, and breathed the sport. And we both loved the Bruins. We had quite a few late night opportunities to watch the Bruins in the playoffs, as they coughed up that year, a 3-0 series lead to the, I think it was the Flyers, but it was a tough season for the Bs but that’s kind of how we came to know each other. We’d play hoops almost every night. We had a little tiny basketball court and Steve is a pretty horrible basketball player. It was definitely not his winter sport, hockey was that, obviously. And many of those games ended with one of us…and I remember Steve doing it like punting the basketball outside of the outpost inside of the local town after he, or one of us lost. Micah Kidney: 00:08:15 We also worked out a ton in the gym, but the story I’d like to share involved our nightly poker game. So, there’s about 10 or 12 of us who would play in my office. We had a good poker table set up and it was just a bunch of the leaders in the company just kind of blowing off steam, having some fun at night. Steve was a fairly, I would say pitiful poker player, but we were all just in there for fun. And we were frequent opponents, like heads up on a table. Steve had a curious habit of playing pretty poor hands and winning a lot, which was interesting. Also funny was when his 2 7 off suit or whatever it was didn’t pan out Micah Kidney: 00:09:08 and he lost. He’d become pretty furious. This is the setting of the story I’d like to tell. Steve talked a lot of junk when we were playing, obviously that was part of who he was and we loved it. And one night we were playing and he was so sure that he was going to win, that he was willing to make a bet with a few of us that if he lost, we could choose any outfit to our liking for him to work out in the next day. And of course, he lost. The outfit that we put together was like a Hawaiian hula outfit full to the nines, grass skirt, we had actual coconut bikini top for him. So, he had the bikini coconut top on and he was working out and I knew he was working out. Micah Kidney: 00:10:08 So, of course I was going to document the moment with a couple of pictures. So, he was on the Stairmaster, one of the machines that we had in our little gym and tooling away, and I busted through the door so he couldn’t hop off and try to look cool, and I just remember him as I snapped the pictures away, like staring down at me, just laughing so hard and embarrassed, but he was cool with it. I decided to take it a step further. And the next day I made up like 30 little posters, with the picture of him in the outfit, put them all around the outpost. And I turned it into like a like a fake call to action for all the Burka wearing Afghan females to shed their passion ways and full body coverings and start wearing this Hawaiian hula outfit. Micah Kidney: 00:11:07 And it was pretty funny. I put them all over the outpost and as we know, Steve is not going to lose a prank battle. So, he took it to the next level. And the next day, someone told me to go

30 minutes | 3 months ago

Kruse Corner

Lani Hankins talks to us about the struggles that service members face after leaving the military and coping with the loss of their friends. Links & Resources Kruse Corner on Facebook Kruse Corner on Instagram President’s Roadmap to Empower Veterans and End a National Tragedy of Suicide (PREVENTS) Transcript Scott DeLuzio: 00:03 Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast, where we talk about issues affecting Veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcasts. If you’ve already done that, thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes. As soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit Drive On Podcasts.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email list. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show. Scott DeLuzio: 00:44 Everybody today, my guest is Lani Hankins. Lani is the host of the Kruse Corner Podcast and blog where she discusses stories of interest to the military. Lani, welcome to the show. Why don’t you tell us a little about yourself and who you are, your military background and things like that? Lani Hankins: 01:04 Well, first thanks for having me. My name is Lonnie Hankins, and I joined the Army when I was 22. I was in college working on an Art degree and people were telling me that wouldn’t go anywhere. And so, I started second guessing myself and I got down to that last semester and I had family that had done military time. So, I figured I’ll give it a try. And so, I did the four-year contract with the Army active duty, ended up switching over to the Reserves for the last two years. So, six total served out of Fort Riley, Kansas. I did one deployment with the 1st Squadron 4th Cavalry Regiment to Paktika Province, Afghanistan, and then was out of Fort Myers, Florida for the Reserve. Scott DeLuzio: 01:53 And so now you’re the host of the Kruse Corner podcast and your mission with that podcast and what you’re doing over there probably started off similarly to how I started this podcast and why I started it. Could you tell us a little bit about the motivation behind the Kruse Corner and where the idea came from to do what you’re doing now? Lani Hankins: 02:22 So it originally started off just as a blog. It was something that I started because I was in my final year working on my Master’s degree. And you had to have a place to post your final research paper and mine was on the VA. So, I figured I’ll just post it to my own blog, a cheat thing. I didn’t want to have to ask anyone to put it on their stuff. And I didn’t want to just have this one random research paper by itself on a website. So, I padded it with some writing I had been doing and some of my friends saw it and they’re just like, you have to keep it going. And so, the name came from my buddy Cruz, who I served with at the Quarter Cav and he’d committed suicide my last month Lani Hankins: 03:08 I was inactive duty. And so, I wanted to do something as a homage to him little bit. I had been struggling myself and writing was just my therapy. And then people started telling me they didn’t like to read. So it turned into the podcast because people basically wanted me to read forums. So the podcast started off with me still doing the blog, but I was reading the articles basically for people. So, it was like the audio Kindle version. But I didn’t realize until I went to school with civilians that people did not understand the Veteran community and what was happening. And I got frustrated with it and with the suicide epidemic going on. How do you not know that 22 Veterans kill themselves a day? How is it possible that people don’t know this stuff? And I just needed a platform. And so that’s really where it started was I need to start talking about it and find people that will talk about it. Scott DeLuzio: 04:12 Yeah, absolutely. My assessment was probably spot on there because that’s pretty much where I started with this podcast. Our platoon was in Afghanistan in 2010 and we didn’t lose anybody over overseas, but we started losing people after we came home. And that to me just was unacceptable to think about that. There’s stuff being done; obviously people know that there’s a problem with suicide amongst the military and Veterans in terms of people maybe in the VA or other military circles, but the general public, like you said, doesn’t really understand that. There might be a better understanding now than there was maybe 10 years ago, but it’s still a problem and whatever is being done is just not enough in my opinion anyways. Scott DeLuzio: 05:10 That’s where this podcast came from and it sounds like that’s where you got started off with yours is to spread awareness. And that’s really the name of the game to me is to make more people aware of it and know that this is an actual problem, and there are people doing things. So, I don’t want to make it sound like whatever the VA’s doing or other organizations are doing. Is it not enough? Or is it, they’re not actually trying anything that’s working. I don’t want to make it sound like that. But I do feel like there’s more that needs to be done. Lani Hankins: 05:51 I do feel like there are a lot of organizations in the VA trying, but Veterans are stubborn and there’s resources that people won’t use and there’s options to talk about things. And from having a podcast where I have it open to guests, to come tell your story, and it’s hard to find people. And that was another part of the frustration was you have to talk about it, so people know because if you don’t, these civilians can’t understand your experience if they don’t know what that experience is. And if they’re basing it off of the movie Platoon or Blackhawk Down, it’s not going to get anyone anywhere because then they think it’s all combat. And it’s not always that. Scott DeLuzio: 06:31 And it’s not always combat related issues that cause some of the mental health problems that we experience in the military; there are people who have moral injuries where they’re in a position where they’re doing things that they never really thought that they’d have to do. I’ve shared on this podcast before time where I had to make a decision whether or not to shoot a child and even though I didn’t end up shooting the child, it still is something that I carry around with me, it’s never a situation I ever thought I’d have to be in. And you carry that with you and people just don’t really understand that these are things that the military, first responders, law enforcement, have to carry around with them. Scott DeLuzio: 07:28 And it’s hard. So, I applaud you for what you’re doing in terms of trying to raise awareness for this type of stuff, and one of the other things that I’ve noticed recently going on…this was just actually within the last couple of days, we’re recording now on June 19th, but sometime during this last week, and just a disclaimer here, I don’t get into politics on the show. I have my political beliefs just like I’m sure everyone else does. I don’t want to alienate anyone who might be listening to the show who might hear a political view that they don’t agree with and so I try to keep politics out of it, but with that said I think we can probably all get behind the plan that was recently unveiled by president Trump called the President’s Roadmap to Empower Veterans and End National Tragedy of Suicide, which is a mouthful. But I think they’re trying to fit that into an acronym…Prevents, for short. It’s basically a plan to raise awareness about mental health connect to suicide prevention, resources, things like that to coordinate research into suicide. So, have you heard about this plan at all? Or what are your thoughts about it? Lani Hankins: 08:47 I’ve heard about it. I didn’t really read into it a whole lot, because again, for me, just from doing things like the podcast, I realized that there are things that are already there. There’s a lot that exists and people aren’t utilizing it. And so, I feel like you can keep adding programs, you can keep adding initiatives and all these things, you can make the acronym as long as you want, but Veterans can be a tough group. And a lot of people feel burned by the VA. And so, this idea of, do you care? Yeah. Does anyone even want to listen? And then you still have to get through that mentality of you can’t talk about it. And so you break that idea that we can’t get out and talk about it and be open. Then I really don’t feel like there’s any program that’s going to work, I’ve used all of them. I’ve seen all kinds of stuff and there’s still stuff I don’t want to talk about it. I spent six years having it crammed down my throat. Don’t talk about it or you’re weak. And so, it was always this conflict of, if I get help, I’m showing that I̵

26 minutes | 3 months ago

Wellness for Vets

James Connor is a Marine Corps veteran who has been working to help veterans and first responders get off of the medications that they have been prescribed by replacing it with physical training, nutrition, and other alternative therapies that help them work through their PTSD or other causes of anxiety or depression. Links & Resources Wellness For Vets Wellness For Vets Instagram James Conner Twitter Trinity Fitness Life Facebook Transcript Scott DeLuzio: 00:03 Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast, where we talk about issues affecting Veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcast. If you’ve already done that, thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes. As soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email list. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio and now let’s get on with the show. Scott DeLuzio: 00:44 Hey everyone. Today, my guest is James Conner. James is a Marine Corps Veteran, a personal trainer and nutrition specialist. I actually think I’m over oversimplifying these things a little bit. He has a number of certifications and qualifications for both nutrition and fitness, and I’m sure I won’t do it all justice. So, James, I’ll let you introduce yourself and tell people a bit about your background. James Conner: 01:08 All right, Scott. Well, thanks for having me on the show. As you said, I am a Marine Corps Veteran. I did 20 years in the Marine Corps. I went in at the end of the 90s as an Infantryman. So, I did my first 10 years as a rifleman, got a bunch of deployments under my belt doing that, some peace time work, pre 9/11 post 9/11, and a few tours to Iraq. Probably the most important one was in 2004, when we went into Fallujah in November and secured the city that time. That was out of California and then I moved to the East coast and reactivated 19, which is known as the walking dead. That battalion had been deactivated and they were bringing it back. So, I went over there and help form that up as a Sergeant. James Conner: 01:59 And then I had an opportunity to jump into the brand-new Marine Corps, special operations command. They were trying to fill the units and then they also had a schoolhouse that they had to staff. And when I went over and met with their recruiter, he saw some of the work that I had done in the past. And he said, I see you need a break from deployments, but I could definitely use you at the schoolhouse. I said, cool. So, I went to the schoolhouse and it was a great experience, coming out of the infantry and then go into play with the big boys and playing by big boy rules. I went to airborne school and then when I came back, they had restructured the unit and I basically got promoted out of a job because I picked up a Staff Sergeant and they only had one billet for a non-reconnaissance staff sergeant. And so, I still had a regular infantryman designation. At that point I decided to switch jobs and move into counterintelligence and human intelligence. And that’s where I finished out my career in there. I did a few deployments with various special operations units. I did a tour in Germany managing Marine Corps, counterintelligence, operations in Europe and Africa. Then I came back to the States and pretty much was counting the days until I retired. Scott DeLuzio: 03:17 Like a lot of people do. I’m sure. Yeah. So, now you run a website, WellnessForVets.info is the website. And tell us a little bit about that. What’s the background on that and what is it that you do there? James Conner: 03:35 So, it ties in with how I ended up in Europe this time around. And somebody asked me that question one time and I gave a very long and convoluted answer. So, I’ll try to give you a better one. Basically, what happened was when I retired, I got a job. It was a very well-paying job and I loved the people that I worked with, but I hated the job itself. I was at a point in my life where I wanted to make some lifestyle changes. So, I started doing that. I really wanted to go back to Europe because when I was stationed in Europe, I spent a lot of time in Eastern Europe, but didn’t see much of Western Europe. So, I was trying to combine my newfound love of fitness and nutrition and everything with an opportunity to go back to Europe. James Conner: 04:22 So I decided to apply to school. And now I’m studying sports and exercise science at the University of Limerick in Ireland. How that ties into my website is during all this time leading up to school, going to school, I just started accumulating a lot of information and I thought it could be really helpful to active duty and Veteran personnel. It really started when I was celebrating Christmas with one of my friends and his family and I saw him taking some of his prescribed medications. And I was just like, there’s got to be a better way to deal with the stuff that a lot of Veterans are dealing with. And then, when I was making my own lifestyle changes, I started learning a lot about nutrition and exercise and all the different effects it has on the body. And someone said, “you’re so good at synthesizing information and explaining it to people. You should start a blog.” And then the blog turned into a website and then the website turned into a podcast. And so that’s how all that got started. Scott DeLuzio: 05:26 That’s how all that came together. Well that’s good, it’s taking some of the passions that you have and things that you’re good at and you’re using it to help out other people, other Veterans, and military personnel. It’s awesome. So from what I understand with all of this information that you’ve accumulated, you’ve been focusing on keeping Veterans and first responders and people like that off of the medications that they have been prescribed using things like physical training and nutrition and other alternative types of therapies to work through their PTSD or other causes of anxiety or depression and things like that. So how does all that work? What is it that you’re doing to help these people stay off these types of medications? James Conner: 06:17 Well, so my ultimate goal is, and of course being on the other side of the ocean, I don’t have a lot of hands on. I’m still building the website, so it’s kind of like, “Hey if people want to reach out, I can coach them through it.” But my goal is, and what I’ve been doing is because we have so much information available to us, I just read a lot about different stuff. And through that, I learned what happens to the brain when you actually exercise, whether you’re doing a robotics or resistance training, what happens to your body when you eat certain foods. A lot of the reasons why people take the medications is because they’re depleted or have some sort of instability of the natural chemicals in their brain. James Conner: 07:08 And a lot of that starts in their bowels basically. So, it’s just really crazy. You start looking at one thing and then you end up going down this rabbit hole of information, but what’s so great is, it’s kind of funny that with social media, people like to bag on other people and be like, “Oh, well, where’s your medical degree?” But the other thing is, if you’re in school, they’re going to tell you to use peer reviewed sources. So, okay. I’m going to use peer reviewed sources, it’s from professional scientists. So, the audience can’t see it, but I’ve got stacks and stacks of papers on branch chain, amino acids, and an equally sized stack on essential amino acids, stacks on probiotics. And I just read all this stuff and I just try to consume as much information as I can. James Conner: 07:59 And then in turn, share it with people. Because the folks that I’ve known who have been on prescription medications have never been happy. The meds didn’t do anything for them. And I don’t necessarily fault the system. I think there are people that are sincerely trying to help, but there’s a lot of other ways to do things that people either don’t want to accept or they don’t know about. And I just try to share that with them. And if it’s something they want to explore; I’ll try to work with them through it. Scott DeLuzio: 08:33 Exactly. Yeah. And I think there’s probably a time and a place for certain medications in certain circumstances for certain people, but what you’re saying is that it seems like that old song that we used to sing as kids, like the head bone is connected to the neck bone and the neck bone is connected to the shoulder bone. I’ll spare you the terrible singing or whatever, the point that all of this stuff is sort of connected together in some way. It seems like what you’re doing is figuring out how one thing affects another. And since they’re all connected how they affect each other in one way or another, in a big picture, is that the kind of accurate? James Conner: 09:10 Yeah, exactly. And when I started out

41 minutes | 4 months ago

Heroic Gardens

Collie Turner talks to us about her company Heroic Gardens and how it helps veterans and service members “grow hope” by connecting them with plants and nature. Collie explains that even if you don’t have a green thumb, the process can be very therapeutic. Through Heroic Gardens, veterans and service members can get access to the knowledge, tools, as well as the materials that they need to set up their very own garden. If the individual doesn’t have access to a yard or outdoor area to plant a garden, they can get it set up inside their home on a space as small as a windowsill. If you’ve been considering getting into gardening or want to learn why it might be beneficial to you, give this episode a listen and head on over to Heroic Gardens’ website to find out more about it. Links & Resources Heroic Gardens Website Heroic Gardens on Facebook Heroic Gardens on Instagram Heroic Gardens on Twitter Transcript Scott DeLuzio: 00:03 Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast, where we talk about issues affecting Veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcast. If you’ve already done that, thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes. As soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email lists. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show. Scott DeLuzio: 00:45 Hey everybody. Today, my guest is Kali Turner. Kali is the founder of Heroic Gardens, which is a nonprofit whose mission is to connect Veterans, active duty, and their families with plants and nature. So welcome to the show. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background? Collie Turner: 01:08 Sure. Hi Scott. Thanks for having me on. Heroic Gardens actually started two years ago. We started in 2018 and personally my background relating to even wanting to start this as I am a daughter of a Veteran, the granddaughter of a Veteran, I have grown up around the American Legion auxiliary and the VFW, my entire life, and the flip side of this is that gardening has always been the norm in my family. So, my grandparents were very big gardeners, very sustainable. My mother was a conservationist. So, combining the two, I had no idea, early on that this was something that I would be pursuing, but as time went on, it just made so much sense Collie Turner: 02:01 from a healing perspective. So thinking about what I’m doing in the garden, things I’m contemplating the Headspace that I’m clearing, and it wasn’t really until I was taking care of my grandmother and I had realized that she had never applied for my grandfather’s death benefits. So, I went through that whole process. It took about three years but I did meet somebody in my local, VA who actually helped me shepherd it through. And what was interesting about her is that wasn’t her primary job. Her job was actually to find homes for our servicemen and women when they were coming back from overseas. So that’s a huge job, right? She takes time out of her schedule to help me with my grandmother who at the time was about 93, receive these benefits. Collie Turner: 02:58 And initially when this happened, I wanted to figure out how can I help her? What can I do to give back, anybody can write a check. It was so much deeper of a connection than that. So, I started thinking about when these guys and gals are coming back and they are securing homes, is there an opportunity for us to add on to that and help them with their landscaping? So, it was this simple idea in my mind that I was swirling around for a couple of years. I didn’t know what I was really thinking about because it is so much deeper than that. It does play into what we offer now. I mean, we are a hundred percent volunteer based, but what we offer is that opportunity to come out and help a Veteran in need with the restoration of the property. And that helps with teaching them about sustainability, teaching them about the connection with plants and how it can help reduce stress and anxiety. but it also helps them with beautification and pride. So that’s just one service, but when we started, that was sort of our main function. Scott DeLuzio: 04:20 Awesome. That’s a great answer. I always like hearing the background stories, where people came from and how they got started doing what they’re doing and why they’re doing the type of stuff that they’re doing. Let’s talk about gardening specifically. What is it about the gardening, in and of itself that acts as a benefit to Veterans or the military community, the people that you’re working with; what is the benefit for them to get their hands in the dirt and work with the plants and things like that? What is the actual benefit that they are seeing from that? Collie Turner: 05:14 Yes, it’s a great question. So, first off let’s think about plants, everybody out there, just pause for a minute if you’re near a window, what are you looking at? What’s potentially outside, or what’s on your windowsill? There are plants everywhere around us, right? So, think back to seventh grade science class, and one of the many things that they are giving off is oxygen, right? We need that to breathe. So, plants are a part of who we are fundamentally in our fiber, but guess what? We eat them. We wear them, they’re in our building materials and their nature outside. They were meant to be hand in hand with who we are as humans. So what did they do to help us? Well when you’re working with plants, it’s actually scientifically proven that you can help reduce stress or fatigue, depression, pain, those sorts of elements, right? The symptoms of ADHD and where you see the improvements, it’s been proven are things like bone strength or your concentration, your ability to be a little bit more empathetic, and your overall mood and relaxation. So, you can get some of the elements that you might find in exercising or having an animal or painting. It has all of those elements. It’s just being out in nature, connecting with something that inherently as a human being you should be anyway. Scott DeLuzio: 07:10 It’s interesting on this show, I’ve had several people on talking about different things that they have done or are helping other people do too, you’re using alternative forms of therapy, whether it’s art or something else like getting outside and going on hikes and that type of thing that people are doing to reconnect with nature, getting outside with the artwork, maybe going out and painting a landscape or something, getting back out into nature and it’s interesting to see just another example of being outside, getting involved with the plants themselves and how that could possibly be helping people with these things like PTSD, anxiety, and other conditions like that. Scott DeLuzio: 08:25 So it’s interesting to hear how that works but I can imagine that a part of it is just being mindful of things that are going on around you if you’re tending to a garden, and you forget about it for a week or two or three, it’s probably not going to work out too well. You know, if you aren’t reading it and fertilizing and all this other stuff that it’s almost taking care of an animal or perhaps even a child or something along those lines where you do have to be present to take care of these things and be mindful of what’s going on is it getting too much water, not enough water, all that type of stuff, you really have to be thinking about it. I could see grounding, excuse the pun, but grounding people to be more present and focused on the world around them. Collie Turner: 09:33 Yeah, you absolutely got that right. You are caring for a living thing. It’s not just putting a plant in the ground and watching it grow. There are other aspects. There is this whole world and ecosystem going on in a garden. If you’ve ever seen a bug’s life, it is really true. Just being still and watching, you can learn so much about a plant, about the ground in front of you, the animals and insects that live there, the pollinators that live there, and what their functions are. Anybody can read all of this in the books or can go online, but why not experience it firsthand? Scott DeLuzio: 10:28 Yeah, sure. Yeah. And our neighborhood that we live in, there’s a gardening club of sorts. I forget the exact name of it now, and a few of the local parks that are in our neighborhood, they have these big, concrete planters that are filled with the dirt and everything. And every so often they go out and they plant new plants in there, whether it’s vegetables and there’s sometimes just different types of plants. And it’s there for the community to enjoy, the neighborhood to enjoy when you’re at the park with your kids, you can see the plants growing and things like that. But I imagine that the people who are involved in that community, can get together and they work together as a team. Scott DeLuzio: &nb

33 minutes | 4 months ago

The Spouse Angle

Natalie Gross and Andrea Scott host the Spouse Angle Podcast, where they bring news and relevant content to military spouses and their families. Links & Resources The Spouse Angle on Facebook The Spouse Angle on Instagram The Spouse Angle on Twitter The Spouse Angle on LinkedIn The Spouse Angle on YouTube The Spouse Angle Website Transcript Scott DeLuzio: 00:03 Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast, where we talk about issues affecting Veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcast. If you’ve already done that, thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes as soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email list. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show. Scott DeLuzio: 00:44 Hi everybody. Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast. Today my guests are Natalie Gross and Andrea Scott. Natalie and Andrea are co-founders of the Spouse Angle, a podcast and news site that brings trusted relevant news to military spouses and their families. So, Natalie and Andrea, welcome to the show. Why don’t you tell us a little about yourselves and your background? Natalie, maybe start with you. Natalie Gross 01:13 Sure. Thanks so much, Scott, for having us, we are excited to be here, so I am Natalie Gross. I am the host and producer of the Spouse Angle podcast, which, like you mentioned, is a podcast and a website breaking down the news for military spouses and their families. That’s our tagline. We launched last October. I’m a military kid. My dad was in the Army for 20 years. So, I moved around a lot as an Army brat. I’m taking these experiences as an Army brat then turned journalist and I’m bringing that into the Spouse Angle as well. Andrea and I met at Military Times when I was working there for two years. And I’m now a freelance journalist covering mostly the military, but also education as well. Scott DeLuzio: 01:59 Awesome. Andrea, how about you? Andrea Scott: 02:02 Yeah, thanks so much for having us here today, Scott. My family is also a military family. I like to joke and Natalie hates my joke, but I’m the loser of my family. My family is all Air Force and Navy pilots. And I am a journalist that sits behind the desk a lot of times and no one in my family can understand how I know how to read and write. I don’t understand how they all know how to fly airplanes, but my father was an A10 pilot in the Air Force when I was young and both my younger brothers right now are Air Force pilots flying the B 52 and the F35. I’m very proud of them and grew up with that military spirit, but it wasn’t necessarily my calling. So, my background is journalism. Like I said, reading and writing is what I’m good at. Andrea Scott 02:46 And I ended up at Military Times, as editor of Marine Corps Times. That’s where I met Natalie. I’m still there, but I think both Natalie and I were inspired by our military-spouse mothers and the perseverance and strength that they had and just being in the military space. Seeing that there hasn’t been an authoritative news site for military spouses to give them resources, to give them broader community other than just a Facebook page or something. So we really wanted to bring this as a service to our military spouses to give them the support that they deserve. Scott DeLuzio: 03:20 Yeah, absolutely. And it’s actually interesting. My story is just the opposite of yours where my parents did not serve in the military at all. And then my brother and I both decided to join the military. And so, their confusion was a little bit backwards. Why are you doing this? And you know, why aren’t you following in our footsteps and that type of stuff. It is interesting to hear everyone’s backgrounds and where people came from and how you got involved with this type of stuff. So, talking about the Spouse Angle, what was the inspiration behind that? I know you talked a little bit about your families and seeing how they live the military spouse life, but what was the inspiration to actually start this as a resource for military spouses? Andrea Scott 04:21 Well, I’ll start with that. I had an idea when I was in grad school. Natalie and I both actually got our master’s degree from Georgetown in the same program at different times. She inspired me to go to that program, but I took an entrepreneurship class, specifically for media and for our final project, we had to come up with an idea and I was thinking, “Oh, I know nothing about business. I’m going to fail this class.” I started looking at the statistics, at least in our Military Times newsroom and saying that a lot of the readership was male heavy, with the military, there’s a lot of male readership and saying that it was 75% male. Just thinking as far as a media outlet, that there’s not really something that’s serving that female service member or the spouse demographic. Andrea Scott 05:10 And so I pitched that as my project and was the only one in the class to get an A, not to brag, but I’m very proud of that. Scott DeLuzio: You should be. Andrea Scott: It was years later when Natalie, she can explain, but she was transitioning from working full time to working full time from home or taking a break with her first child that we realized she wanted to do a military spouse podcast and I wanted to do a military spouse brand that we thought they would go hand in hand together. Scott DeLuzio: Awesome. Natalie Gross: So, I’ll just add onto that. I had the inspiration to start a podcast, and I knew that I wanted to have it military related and reach the spouse community. And I didn’t quite decide on the journalism niche of that until I was talking to my military spouse friends, “what would you want to see what Natalie Gross 05:57 is missing out there?” And a lot of them were saying, “well, you know, as far as news goes, we’re reliant on our service member, on our spouse to tell us what’s going on as far as the latest military policy changes or different laws that would affect them.” And that information wasn’t always getting communicated to them at home. So, they’d be sifting through Facebook trying to piece together what actually applies to them, what doesn’t. And so, Andrea and I talked and we saw this information gap that we thought that a podcast could fill. You can listen to it on the go. Military spouses are always busy it seems. And so that’s why we decided on the podcast format to start with. We also have a website where we have other news and things like that. So that’s what the inspiration was, let’s fill this information gap and help military spouses stay connected to the changes in policy and different things in the news cycle that affect them and clear out the clutter. Scott DeLuzio: 07:02 Yeah. And speaking at this point now a veteran, but someone who was in the shoes of the service member, who oftentimes had to relay information to my wife, I didn’t always understand all of the information and how it applied to us as a family or to her as an individual who may have been at home while I was deployed and things like that. And, quite frankly, when you’re in the middle of a deployment and you’re training up to go overseas to go fight a war, you’re not always thinking of Tri-Care benefits or whatever the things that are being handed to you. You get all this information, this paperwork and all this stuff thrown at you, and sometimes it’s like drinking from a fire hose where you’re just getting so much information and trying to digest it all and make sense of it all, and it is really a hard thing to do. And so, having a resource like this available, I think is really valuable to the military spouses who can then go to a resource like yours and try to make sense of it all. They’re probably getting overwhelmed as well. Natalie Gross 08:29 Yeah, thanks for saying that. I will say even our core audience and our target audience is really military spouses and family members. We have some service members who listen to and have reached out and have said “thank you. I wanted to understand the certain thing that I’d heard about.” And so, that’s been really cool to see too, that we’ve been able to be a resource for even active duty service members who are getting this information in other places as well. Scott DeLuzio: 08:52 Yeah, absolutely. One of the things that was really hard to understand was after coming back from overseas, you have access to all these new benefits; you’re post 9/11 GI bill and all these other benefits that you now have access to, but there’s certain criteria and certain conditions and certain things have to be met. And when you go through this whole matrix of things, it’s like, “does this stuff even still apply to me? I don’t even know anymore.” And it’s just so much, and sometimes you just shut down and you

51 minutes | 4 months ago

Choosing To Find The Good

After losing his legs to an IED in Afghanistan, Julian Torres talks to us about how he has been able to find the good things in life and focus on the positives. When Julian lost his legs, he was faced with a choice to either sit on the couch and let life pass him by, or get up and take control of his life. Julian chose the latter. Not only is Julian a fellow podcaster who talks to other veterans, he’s also a father, husband, and has scaled the highest mountain in Africa, Mount Kilimanjaro. And yes, that was after losing his legs. When I first spoke with Julian before we recorded this episode, I was truly inspired by his attitude. Give it a listen, I’m sure you will be too. Links & Resources JulianPTorres.net Coffee With Julian on Instagram Coffee With Julian Link Tree LCpl. Cody S. Childers Memorial Fund Transcript Scott DeLuzio: 00:03 Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast, where we talk about issues affecting Veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcast. If you’ve already done that, thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes. As soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit Drive On Podcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email lists. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show. Scott DeLuzio: 00:44 Hey everyone. Today, my guest is Julian Torres. Julian is a Marine Corps Veteran and host of The Coffee with Julian podcast. Julian was wounded while serving overseas, and today we’re going to be talking to him about his journey through the Marine Corps and what life is like after being wounded. So Julian, welcome to the show. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about who you are and what your background is? Julian Torres: What’s going on, man? How you doing? Scott DeLuzio: Alright, good. Julian Torres: 01:12 I enlisted in 2007 and was a Marine Corps Infantryman. I was an 0331 machine gunner by trade. I got deployed in 2010 to Afghanistan. So, I stepped on an IED and lost both of my legs, the left leg below the knee, right leg is above which was really crazy and really unique. I think about my circumstance. I was only in country in full-blown about operations for about 2 ½ weeks. Julian Torres: 01:55 Yeah. I was there for like just shy of a month, total in Afghanistan when I got hurt. Scott DeLuzio: Right? Yeah. Sometimes these things come out of nowhere, and whether you’re there for a few weeks, you’re there for a few months or whatever, you can’t really time these things like they’ll just happen. Julian Torres: 02:22 It’s either like the very beginning or the end is like what you don’t want. Scott DeLuzio: 02:27 Sometimes you hear about these people, they have a week left or something and they’re like, “Oh yeah, we’ll go out on this one last mission.” And it’s like, no, no, no, you don’t want to go on that last mission. So, let’s talk about the lead up to that. So, you’re in country for about a month or so before getting injured. What did that look like? What did your time in Afghanistan look like before getting injured? Julian Torres: 03:00 Yeah, it was what I would call it almost as if all the Warriors of America were down inside large Afghanistan at the time; we had really thick overgrown Julian Torres: 03:22 canals or wattis that you couldn’t see six inches in front of me. So, I would imagine, from the things I’ve read, that was a lot like Vietnam, cutting yourself on the grass and stuff like that that was growing through there. Then we also had those canals. We were fighting in those canals and I was even thinking that was a little bit like fighting in WWI in the trenches, being muddy and being full of water and just disgustingness. What surprised me the most about it all was how kinetic it was. I didn’t imagine it being so full throttle like it really was. Julian Torres: 04:16 These people we were whipping it on. We’ll be able to hear them and be able to smell them; that’s how close we were. It was intense. At the end of the day, if I had to pick a word, it would be just intense, intense. Their fighting ability…I wasn’t really impressed by it. They had a lot of numbers, which was impressive, but other than that, our tactics were superior our fire power was superior, it was just intense. Scott DeLuzio: 04:57 Yeah, for sure. I know kind of what you’re talking about, walking through in an area where you can’t really see more than a few inches in front of you. I’ve been on missions in Afghanistan where we walked through a corn field and you see corn fields around here in the United States, same deal, corn taller than you are and you’re walking through and you can’t see too far ahead of you because it’s corn all over the place and the leaves and everything. Julian Torres: 05:29 You just see the stalks move and you think “there they are!” Scott DeLuzio: 05:35 And you don’t know what’s on the other side of that because you just can’t see. You’re walking through just hoping that there’s no trip wires or pressure plates or other crazy stuff like that that they could have put in there just to screw us up if we were going through there. So, thank God, in my case anyways, there wasn’t anything like that or at least if there was, we didn’t stumble across it. We got out relatively unscathed then, a few scrapes from walking up against some of these plants and things like that but that’s nothing in comparison to people like yourself who were severely wounded during their time overseas. Let’s talk about that day, the day of the injury. Maybe you could talk a little bit about the mission that you were on and how it led up to that event where you actually got wounded. Julian Torres: 06:43 Blasted. So, one thing you have to remember is that we had this inherent threat of an IED, but for the most part, that’s not what we were really looking for. We were getting a lot of Intel on sniper positions, sniper nest, machinegun nest, observation posts, IED caches. So, another thing too that was really crazy was the fact that we were finding a bunch of other things. We were finding caches of heroin. We were finding caches of giant stocks and marijuana, weapons, IED making material, and all along there are firefights, intense fire fights. We’re actually pinned down and maneuvering around the enemy or just waiting them out. We’re just like, “you guys aren’t moving; We’re just going to hunker down over here. We’re safe right here. We’ll just let this develop.” Julian Torres: 08:12 Fighting back, obviously, but we’re going to take our time with this, so, this particular day, I got hurt. It was really crazy. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen them, but they would make IED out of this yellow cooking oil, canola with the red top. And so, I found a bunch of those. And so, what I did was I pulled out my knife and I cut the bottoms out; made it to where these jugs are not usable anymore, or I’m going to make it more of a headache for you to use these. The Afghan people were very resourceful, making things out of nothing. Julian Torres: 09:04 I’m sure I didn’t damage it too much. I was also finding big giant bags of ammonium nitrate, big, giant, 50 kilos of ammonium nitrate. We were fighting all day, standard operation fighting all day pushing the enemy back, and then we were no more than 50 yards or maybe like a half a football field away from our patrol base. I just stepped on it and I remember it. Particularly, the sound I made getting propelled through the air, seeing my shadow on the ground, and realizing “Oh fuck man, this is it. I got hit.” It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know. Julian Torres: 10:06 And to realize that, if you see yourself on the ground from an aerial point of view, I got hit. I remember landing and the powder in my mouth from the blast because what had happened was, we had crossed over two canals. And so, imagine, we got one little shallow canal crossed over and we came onto another one. So, it was just consecutive canals running parallel to each other. And so, we cross one, cross the other one, and then my buddy who saw the indicator, the point guy, I was holding rear security for my machine gun. And then I was in charge of machine gun squad leader. And the point man says, “Hey, I see an indicator.” I’m closest to the junction, as a Sgt of Marines, I’m closest and I’m not going to ask someone else if I’m not willing to do hard decision work or hard work in general if I’m not willing to do that kind of stuff myself. Julian Torres: 11:23 So I said, “I got it, man. I’ll go take a look.” And I was looking. And I said, we weren’t really looking for IEDs; that wasn’t our main focus. We were finding things, we were

37 minutes | 4 months ago

Tango Alpha Lima

In this episode I talk to Jeff Daly who is one of the hosts of The American Legion’s Tango Alpha Lima podcast. Jeff talks about his time in the Marines, what lead him to join the American Legion, and why he felt a desire to start podcasting. We make some good natured jokes in this episode, and no one got offended. How refreshing! Links & Resources Tango Alpha Lima Podcast American Legion Why do Marines eat crayons? – we got deep on this episode Transcript Scott DeLuzio: 00:03 Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast, where we talk about issues affecting Veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcast. If you’ve already done that, thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes. As soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit DriveOnPodcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email lists. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show. Scott DeLuzio: 00:44 Hey everyone. Today, my guest is Jeff Daley. Jeff is a Marine Corps Veteran and also a cohost of the Tango Alpha Lima podcast, which explores current events, interesting trends, and quirky stories of interest to the Veteran community. Tango Alpha Lima is produced by the American Legion and gives a Veteran’s view on current events, particularly as it relates to the military and Veteran community. So, Jeff, thanks for joining me today. Why don’t you tell everyone a little bit about yourself and your background? Jeff Daly: 01:17 All right. Well, you said my name and that I was a Marine. I grew up in Kalamazoo, Michigan, that big metropolis in the Midwest and I went to the Marine Corps, came back to Kalamazoo. I couldn’t get enough, went to college there and a brief stop in Chicago to do the second city conservatory and then moved to Los Angeles to pursue fame and fortune. And that pursuit is still happening. Scott DeLuzio: 01:53 Well, you’re on this podcast, so you’ve made it. Was Kalamazoo one of those cities that like when I was growing up, I grew up in Connecticut, I wasn’t very familiar with Michigan or really much of the other rest of the country. I know Kalamazoo, when I was growing up, it was just a made-up name for just someplace that someone went to. It never was an actual place to me, but then, over the years, I’ve started to meet people who have been to Kalamazoo. I have seen it on a map. Things have happened in Kalamazoo and this is actually a place. This is amazing to me. So anyways, that was just my little side note into where you’re from. Jeff Daly: 02:32 I’ve met people who thought that Kalamazoo was a place that their parents threatened to send them if they were bad. Scott DeLuzio: 02:38 Yeah. That’s pretty much what it was. You’re either going to military school or you’re going to Kalamazoo. And so, I’ve always been afraid of Kalamazoo and the people who come from it and, I’m shaking over here just talking. So, you talk about after you got out of the military, you went to college; based on your bio, on the Tango Alpha Lima podcast, I got to learn a little bit about you. I know that you like long walks on the beach, but that’s not what we’re talking about. Today we’re talking about you and your background and what it is that you do here. You went to school, you studied economics and political science back in Michigan. After college you got into acting, you said the second conservatory, is that what it was the second city in Chicago. Jeff Daly: Second City. Scott DeLuzio: Second City in Chicago. What pushed you in that direction? I know there are politicians who have acting backgrounds, but you have a political science degree and now you’re getting into acting. So, what pushed you in that direction? Jeff Daly: 03:52 It is interesting because I did act all along. I remember I was in a summer stock thing before going to bootcamp and they actually called me early and I had to miss the last performance of that summer. And I remember that it was very traumatic and it was one of the first times I uttered the phrase, “I think I’ve made a huge mistake.” So, I’ve always been doing the acting thing. And then when I got out, even in college, I did shows in college, because my mother didn’t think it would have been a wise use of funds, hers or mine to get a degree in acting. It’s like, if you can do it, you can just do it. So, I took classes and all that, but I did not major in it. Jeff Daly: 04:39 Like you said, I majored in economics and political science and then moved to Chicago for law school and angers my mother to this day, to make that pursuit and then came on out to Los Angeles. So, I think the military and the entertainment have a lot of things in common. There’s this whole teamwork mission thing that’s happening. They use things like, you shoot film, and trust me, hurry up and wait, “Oh my God, I am so well trained for that.” People would be annoyed like, “Oh my gosh, we’re just been sitting here for 20 minutes!” “That’s it, that’s it. I’m not even close to annoyed yet.” So, I think that there’s just a lot of people in that; I’m even involved in a group called Veterans and Military Entertainment here, BME, and there’s a lot of us and it seems to be a great fit. Scott DeLuzio: 05:40 It sounds like a great fit and it’s something that you’re clearly passionate about something that you’ve done before. And I definitely know that feeling of, “what have I done feeling?” When you step off the bus at bootcamp and you have all the drill sergeants screaming down your throat and they’re yelling at you and they’re telling you to move faster and do this and do that, and you start thinking to yourself, what in the heck did I just do? What did I sign up for? Jeff Daly: 06:13 My experience with that was literally the first sentence that an instructor said to us as a group off the bus and the main cars, these yellow footprints that you have to go stand on. He told us to get off his bus, mind you, this enlisted Marine owns everything. He said, get off my bus and stand on my yellow footprints because you’re too stupid to know how to stand properly. And I was like, “Oh no, I just don’t know.” Scott DeLuzio: 06:44 And I’m just going to be a little guest here. I’m going to go and guess that somebody screwed it up. Somebody was not standing on those yellow footprints the right way at first. I got it. Jeff Daly: 06:54 I think somebody stood in an area that didn’t have them. So yeah, you do have those and they had to be corrected and redirected. So, I guess maybe for the collective they’re speaking to the collective, not me directly. Scott DeLuzio: 07:09 Exactly. I know when I actually first pulled up to Fort Benning, the drill Sergeant got up on the bus, the first thing he said to us was that, given that we’re at a time of war, this was 2006 or so, we’re in a time of war. The other drill sergeants had nothing but respect for us for volunteering and signing up to serve our country. But with that said, get the hell off my bus. It was the last nice thing I heard for the next, however many weeks I was there; that was the last time that they said anything like that. Scott DeLuzio: 07:53 They said they respect us, but you’re going to learn. You’re going to learn much more. So ultimately you end up getting out to the West coast to LA where that’s kind of like the Holy Grail of the acting community. That’s where people go. You’re not the first person, I have this idea to go out to Hollywood and pursue acting. Eventually you reconnected with the Veterans through local Hollywood American Legion post and you mentioned earlier the Veterans in Media and Entertainment. What made you want to reconnect with the Veterans in that community? Jeff Daly: 08:35 Well, I would say first of all, reconnect is kind of a stretch, it was actually my first connection when I got out of the military. I didn’t identify with that community at all. I just finished with that chapter. It’s time to go to college and get the career thing happening. So, I went and did the college thing, and I got the GI Bill. I took the goodies, but I didn’t have the conversations. And except with people who realized, because I went to a very small little selective liberal arts college Clemson College. And then, so everybody there was traditional students. They were all 18 when they started, I’ve met one person who transferred into it. And so obviously I was older, I’m a freshman going to the bar. So, people had questions and that was the only time it ever came up. Jeff Daly: 09:30 But so mostly I got through college without thinking about it and then went to Chicago and thought less about the military and being a Veteran. So, I got here and it’s a big place. And you do seek out connections. If I s

44 minutes | 5 months ago

How Fisher House Supports The Military Community

Tom Flowers joins us to talk about how the Fisher House is there to help support the veteran and military community in some of their most critical times of need. Links & Resources Fisher House Transcript Scott DeLuzio: 00:03 Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast, where we talk about issues affecting Veterans after they get out of the military. Before we get started, I’d like to ask a favor if you haven’t done so already, please rate and review the show on Apple podcast. If you’ve already done that, thank you. These ratings help the show get discovered so it can reach a wider audience. And while you’re there, click the subscribe button so that you get notified of new episodes. As soon as they come out. If you don’t use Apple podcasts, you can visit Drive On Podcast.com/subscribe to find other ways of subscribing, including our email list. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And now let’s get on with the show. Scott DeLuzio: 00:44 Hey everyone. Today, my guest is Tom flowers. Tom spent 27 years in the Air Force and he’s been working with the Fisher House for the last few years, which is what he’s here to talk to us about today. Tom, welcome to the show. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about who you are your background with the military and the Fisher House. Tom Flowers: 01:04 Scott and thank you for having me. I enlisted in the Air Force in 1966 and I retired in 1993. I had many assignments, as you might imagine. I traveled all 50 States and I stopped counting countries at about 40. That was my military career. After that I joined the sales and marketing firm where our only customers were military installations. So, I kept on my association with the military for another 10 years after I retired. And after that I retired fully and I joined the Fisher House Foundation, if you will, specifically associated with the Fisher House in West Haven, Connecticut. And that was in 2010. I’m also immediate past commander of the American Legion for the State of Connecticut and our 18,000 members. And I’m the Chairman of the Veterans ceremony, Braid Commission for the City of Milford, where I live a city of 52,000 people. We plan and execute all the patriotic events for the City of Milford. So that’s what I do. Scott DeLuzio: 03:01 It sounds like you have your plate full of all of that stuff that you’re doing there. So, today we’re going to talk about the Fisher House. What I’d like to do is talk about how the Fisher House helps out Veterans and military families, and how it’s a resource that they can rely on in their times of need. Obviously with the COVID situation, things have been thrown a little off course, but under normal circumstances, Fisher Houses can have several families. I think I read on the Fisher House website up to 21 rooms in some of the Fisher Houses and so at that point to me, it doesn’t seem like it’s a house anymore, in my mind, anyway, it’s more like a hotel at that point, with the amount of families that could be in there. The benefit though is that these military and Veteran families can stay free of charge. So, tell us what it is that the Fisher House offers to military and Veteran families, and what kind of resource it is. Tom Flowers: 04:17 Well, first, Scott, I’d like to start with how the Fisher House started, which is a very interesting story. It started in 1986 when Mrs. Pauline Trost, who was the wife of the Chief of Naval Operations, Admiral William Trost. She was at Bethesda Naval hospital back in 1986. She saw a family get off of that chopper. She asked what they were doing, and they were there to visit the lady’s husband who was hospitalized. And someone asked her where she wanted to stay. And she said, she didn’t know, and hotels are expensive in that area. So that kind of started it; she mentioned that to her husband, Admiral Trost contacted Zachary Fisher, Zach; he was developer, philanthropist, and Patriot out of New York City and independently wealthy. Ma’am an Admiral Trost mentioned to him what the issue was and that public/private association started. We’re both the Department of Defense and the Department of Veterans Administration came to an agreement that Fisher Houses could be built near Military installations with major medical facilities and VA hospital campuses across the country and overseas. Zachary, as a wealthy man and a Patriot, funded the first 15 or so Fisher Houses out of his own pocket. We opened up our first two Fisher Houses in 1991, Walter Reed army hospital in Washington, DC and one at Bethesda Naval hospital in Maryland. Tom Flowers: 07:06 And for a number of years, Zachary just built those houses with permission of the host units or departments. In 1993, the Fisher Foundation was formed. And that was because we needed a vehicle to ensure that funding to build our Fisher Houses would continue in perpetuity. So that was the beginning of the Fisher foundation in 1993. And right now, we have 87 Fisher Houses that are active. We have served over 400,000 military and Veterans families over 9.5 million days of free lodging, which translates to $500 million in savings to our military families and Veteran’s families. And on any given night in our 87 Fisher Houses, we’re serving over 1100 military families free of charge. Totally. And you mentioned Scott, that it was something like the hotel. Well, Fisher House is a comfort house, right? Believe me, it is like a four- or five-star hotel. Scott DeLuzio: 08:56 Give me the tour. Tom Flowers: 08:59 We consider it a comfort house, a home away from home. Scott DeLuzio: 09:03 Because the hotel aspect to me was just the sheer capacity. You know, you don’t typically fit 21 rooms in any given house filled with families from all over the country and all over the place. You don’t typically have that kind of situation in a normal house but how it is still a house in terms of the shared, common areas which are not typical in a hotel. There’s the kitchen and things like that are common in the Fisher Houses that people can come together in a community atmosphere, and they can have that sense of togetherness, as they’re staying in that place, which is great. Because there’s so many people who might be going through difficult times, their loved ones are sick or injured or whatever the case may be. And having some people there who are going through something similar could help each other out. Tom Flowers: 10:21 Oh, you’re absolutely correct. In your statement, Scott, we consider our Fisher Houses to be comfort houses. We believe very firmly that a family’s love is the best medicine. And our Fisher Houses come in different sizes. We have them in eight rooms, 12 rooms, 16 rooms. And in some cases, 21 rooms, as you mentioned, so they’re not all the same size, it’s all dependent upon the need at the installation, whether it be a DOD or VA. Scott DeLuzio: 11:06 And I’ve imagined some of the larger facilities that these Fisher Houses are at, whether it’s Walter Reed or something like that, those probably have the larger Fisher Houses nearby and some of the smaller installations throughout the country probably have the smaller eight or 12 room places too. So, that makes sense that based on the need of the location would justify the size of the house that comes through and looking just directly from the Fisher House website, I looked up some of the statistics, you mentioned that the daily capacity, there are 1100 families, which is amazing; but more than 32,000 families were served last year through Fisher Houses; you mentioned 400,000 families were served in total since it started. Scott DeLuzio: 12:02 Even more interesting to me is all of those are really great numbers. And I’m very thankful that there’s resources like the Fisher House out there that can help all of those families; but it’s more than just that, there are scholarships, things like airline tickets that are provided to some of these families, 12,000 students have received $24 million in scholarships from the Fisher House foundation, and over 70,000 airline tickets were provided by hero miles to service members and their families with estimated cost of around $105 million, which is huge. When your loved one is sick or injured, they’re in the hospital and you need to travel across the country to get there, figuring out how you’re going to get there is probably the last thing on your mind. And so being able to have a program like the hero miles, that’s a big benefit as well. Tom Flowers: 13:12 Well, you’ve certainly done your homework, Scott, and thank you. Scott DeLuzio: 13:16 Yeah, absolutely. Tom Flowers: 13:19 All of this information is available@fisherhouse.org. It’s FISHER.org. We have a miles for heroes’ program where people donate their frequent flyer or airline miles to that particular cause. It’s just common sense. If a Veteran is hospitalized, the Fisher House, I’m Chairman of the Board of the community support group. No, I am Chairman of the Board. There’s no reason to believe that the parents or the brothers or sisters or loved ones of that Veteran gets hospitalized at West Haven, Connecticut live in Connecticut, right? And oftent

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