Listen Now

“Might as well face it, you’re addicted to love.”—Robert Palmer  Are you addicted to relationships? Many of us—even strong, independent women—feel unsettled, lonely, and anxious when we don’t have a partner.  Life coach Nazra Peterson believes single shaming is to blame—and often, we’re single shaming ourselves!  In our conversation, we dive deep into the following topics:  The 4 key relationships you have with YOURSELF!  How to desire partnership without appearing desperate.  How to determine if your beliefs about relationships are yours or if you’ve internalized them from others—and how to change them if they’re limiting.  The power in being blissfully dissatisfied.  Relationship addiction as evidenced by how we break up with someone—staying long past the expiration date.  Loyalty vs. commitment.  Freedom in intimacy i.e. When you’re in a relationship you CAN do whatever you want to do!  When your friends might be leading you astray when it comes to love!  Join us to determine if you’re addicted to relationships and if so, how to “kick the habit!”  Nazra Peterson Website: https://www.heartmindfitnesstraining.com/ Instagram: @heartmindfitnesstraining / @iamnazramarie Dr. Karin  Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/  Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook  Instagram: @dr.karin  Single is the New Black:  Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible  iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

In this week’s mini episode, I’d like to share a few thoughts about the Empowered Evolving series we kicked off last week. I knew my conversation with Isabella would generate some feedback and I’ve received both positive and negative responses to it.  How do we remain connected with those we love, even when—or especially when!—we disagree. We want to live empowered, we want to grow and evolve, and we want to maintain intimate relationships with those we love.  Is this even possible?  I share the strategy I’m currently using myself in efforts to do all of the above. Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

Welcome to Love & Life’s occasional series—Empowered Evolving. We talk about empowered living all the time on Love & Life. We look to psych research and techniques from psychotherapy to help us, as former Love & Life guest, Dr. Steven C. Hayes founder of ACT puts it, “take committed action in the service of our chosen values.” We live empowered by living out our values—clarifying what they are and then taking committed action toward them.  Sometimes, as we clarify our values, we realize we’re moving away from where we’ve been. We’re stepping into uncharted territory. We’re leaving comfort and certainty behind.  But, if we’re committed to maintaining an open mind and considering various viewpoints, it’s not surprising that sometimes, we change our mind.  We’re evolving.  Empowered evolving entails honesty and commitment—a commitment to our principles. And, it takes courage; it takes a lot of courage to speak out when your community expects you to adhere to its belief system.  Isabella Malbin knows about evolving. Her evolution began when as a doula, Isabella witnessed abusive practices in hospital delivery rooms. She moved into hypnobirthing and rejected euphemisms such as “belly births.” Eventually, her mentor asked her if she wanted to be a reformist or a radical.  She chose the latter.  Today Isabella hosts the Whose Body is It? podcast on which she raises consciousness around how women are harmed by transgender ideology, porn, and prostitution. She coaches women to help us wake up and speak out.  Isabella Malbin  Website: https://www.whosebodyisit.com/social  Instagram: @whosebodyisit  Dr. Karin  Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook  Instagram: @dr.karin  Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible  iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

We all desire deep connection. We’re wired for intimacy. But searching for it is difficult and even when we find our person and we’re caught up in the excitement of falling in love, our journey to intimacy has really only just begun. Throughout partnership and marriage, our connection ebbs and flows. Sometimes we feel extremely close; at other times, we feel estranged and distant from the person with whom we want to feel most intimately connected. How do we restore deep, authentic intimacy? Dr. Steve Call and his wife, Lisa Call, address this question in their book, Reconnect:  Insights and Tools for Cultivating Meaningful Connection in Your Marriage. In today’s episode we discuss the following and more! Needing connection and the shame that often accompanies this need. Shame in relationships—judging ourselves and our partner. How discussing need, shame, and judgment minimizes their power and their negative impact on our connections. The healing power of relationships, connection, and community. Attachment styles and how they influence our intimacy. How to be gentle with ourselves and our stories. The lies of shame e.g. “If I told my partner this, I’d be rejected. The “story” we tell ourselves about our worth, needs, and what it means to be in partnership. Conceptualizing empathy as “feeling into” instead of “fixing.” The power of what Steve and Lisa call a “right brain to right brain” response—what this is and how it builds connection. How a fear that empathy isn’t enough actually blocks intimacy. The essentials of connection! The importance of rituals of connection—including play! The Calls’ insight and wisdom provide crucial tools for relating—whether you hope to deepen intimacy with your partner or build connection to friends and family members. Dr. Steve & Lisa Call Website: https://www.thereconnectinstitute.com/ Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black Audiobook:  Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible  iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

One of the questions I’m most often asked surrounds masculine and feminine energy. How can independent, empowered women embody feminine energy? Isn’t this essentially a contradiction in terms?  Are we able to inhabit the fullness of ourselves—including our ambition and drive—without presenting ourselves in a masculine manner and thereby attracting men who lead with feminine energy? Teacher, writer, speaker, and the creator of Everyday Starlet, Sarah Blodgett, joins us to consider these questions and more. Specifically, we speak to: The difference between masculine/feminine energy and traditional gender roles. The difficulty in trusting our partner’s protective masculine energy—especially if we’ve been in a controlling, abusive relationship in the past. When to resonate in your juicy feminine flow—and when we may NOT want to be in our feminine flow! Birth control pills and feminine energy. Body image and feminine energy. How our distrust of men may actually reflect a distrust of ourselves. What men with high masculine energy want—spoiler alert:  it’s NOT passive women! Sarah’s Everyday Starlet blog and YouTube channel inspire women to embody their femininity and sensuality, and be the star of their own life! She shares methods for leaning into the fullness of our feminine energy! Pro tip:  we can be fully empowered AND fully feminine! Sarah Blodgett Website: http://everydaystarlet.com/ Instagram: @sarahblodgett Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

Christine Coen was a registered dietitian and fitness professional. She guided and encouraged clients toward their nutrition and exercise goals. She didn’t think too much about mental health—until she had to. When Christine fell into depression, she panicked. It was her job to motivate others, but she was struggling to even get out of bed in the morning herself! She started researching and soul searching. Christine realized she’d been focused on the exterior. It was time to look inward. She began pursuing eating and exercise with a new mission—it was no longer about the external. Now, it was about the internal. Through her own battle, Christine discovered natural methods to overcome anxiety, depression, and emotional eating. She joins us today to share these strategies with us! Citation: https://www.apa.org/monitor/2017/11/numbers https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/astounding-increase-in-antidepressant-use-by-americans-201110203624 https://www.drugwatch.com/ssri/prozac/ Breggin, P., & Breggin, G., (2021). Covid-19 and the global predators:  We are the prey. Lake Edge Press. Christine Coen Instagram: @christine.coen Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

When I come across an empowered woman who’s all about empowering others, I want to share her journey with you—which is exactly why I invited Brooke Mullen of Sapahn to the program. Recently, I randomly came across Sapahn when I noticed this gorgeous purse/backpack in the March issue of Harper’s Bazaar. The bag reminded me of one I’d admired several years ago in a boutique in Indianapolis. Apparently, I couldn’t get the bag out of my head even all these years later! 😉 So, I hopped on Sapahn’s website and found that not only are the purses, backpacks, cross-body bags, and wallets absolutely stunning, I also learned that Sapahn provides employment for women in Thailand. According to Sapahn’s website: “Our luxury leather bags and accessories not only look good— they’re helping make the world a more beautiful place by honoring the basic human rights of workers throughout our value chain. We’ve fully embraced a regenerative business model that prioritizes personal empowerment over charity—and human rights is at the heart of all we do.” And since I’m all about this “buy a beautiful bag and uphold human rights life,” I wanted to share Sapahn with you and hear from its founder, Brooke Mullen! Join us to learn how we can demonstrate our values and “carry forward” human rights through intentional, ethical consumerism! Brooke Mullen of Sapahn Website: https://sapahn.com/ 15% Off Promo Code: LOVEANDLIFE Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

Psychologist Dr. Duana Welch recently joined me for an Instagram Live to talk about the revised version of her must-read dating guide, Love Factually:  10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do. She tackled viewers questions and concerns, including: Why behaving as a high status woman is the opposite of playing games or acting coy. The science-based approach to actually getting courted—even if no man has ever treated you in that way before. How to weed out the men who aren’t looking for a serious relationship. How to communicate your standards in a very practical and respectful manner. How to write a profile which will attract a serious minded man. Why communicating your standards will protect you from narcissists and players when you’re online dating. How to open up to dating again after multiple heartbreaks. The 3 feelings you’ll feel if you’re in a healthy relationship! How to be vulnerable in an appropriate manner. How Dr. Welch met her partner online in a matter of months—and even found a tall man, when she was looking for a shorter man! Dr. Welch shared such important wisdom and research-based dating advice, I wanted to post our Insta live as Love & Life episode! Dr. Duana Welch Website: http://www.lovesciencemedia.com/ Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

Recently, I appeared on aParently Speaking podcast with Miriam conner. Miriam asked me to speak about fear—specifically, how parents may inadvertently pass on anxiety to their children. We discussed humans’ typical responses to fear—building upon the Fight or Flight model we all learned in school, and we explored the profound power of how we frame fear i.e. do we consider it part of our identity? Do we say things to ourselves like, “My anxiety makes me do such and such” or “I have anxiety”? Or rather, do we see fear as a part of life, but not a part of our core sense of self. We can empower ourselves by considering the ways we manage our feelings and ask ourselves questions like: Did I learn this emotional response from my mother? Did I get “my anxiety” from my father? As an adult can I shed any generational patterns of managing fear that aren't serving me? We may have inherited anxiety from our families, but we don’t need to own it in adulthood! Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

You’re probably familiar with mindfulness, but how does it apply to dating? Marie Thouin, Ph.D. shares how a mindfulness practice can enhance our lives in myriad realms—and certainly when it comes to dating! Join us for a conversation surrounding: The science of mindfulness—there’s a TON of research on it! The self-knowledge mindfulness affords—even in the midst of heartbreak and loss. Why mindful dating brings out the best in you and your date! How mindfulness helps us move through rejection—including 3 tangible steps to become more resilient! The importance of being curious and compassionate with ourselves. Mindful swiping—it’s a thing! How to value our lives when our deep desires aren’t currently met. How mindfulness liberates us! If you’ve ever wondered what this mindfulness stuff is all about and how it might enhance your love life, this episode is for you! Citation: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/mindfulness/definition#why-practice-mindfulness  Dr. Marie Thouin  Website: https://www.loveinsight-dating.com/  Dr. Karin  Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/  Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook  Instagram: @dr.karin  Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

We all desire deep, genuine intimacy. But so often, it feels incredibly difficult to cultivate! Sometimes we’re so infatuated we rush things. Other times, we fear getting close because we’ve been hurt so many times before. In our first Love & Life Live, psychotherapist Elliott Anderson joins me to speak to Judson University students about how to develop and cultivate deep, authentic, lasting romantic intimacy. Specifically, we discuss: What’s the definition of intimacy? How can we distinguish between intimacy and infatuation? Is there a concrete process for building intimacy? What do psychologists say about finding the “total package”? Is it possible? How clarifying your values—before you’re in a relationship—will help you build intimacy with your future partner. Can texting build true intimacy? What if I don’t have much relationship experience? Why spending time apart in the initial months of a relationship can actually enhance intimacy. Cultivating true intimacy—even if you have an anxious attachment and he has an avoidant one. Elliott provides concretes steps creating a loving, fulfilling, deeply intimate partnership! Rev. Elliott Anderson, M.A. Work with Elliott: https://loveandlifemedia.com/work-with-elliott-anderson Instagram: @pastorelliottanderson Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

Divorce is brutal. The wound it leaves is deep and lasting. Can we find restoration and redemption after the death of a marriage? Can we resuscitate a demolished heart? Leisse Wilcox and Elliott Anderson discuss the profound grief inherent to divorce. They hold space for the hurting. They honor the loss and pain. And simultaneously, they invite you on a healing journey. Specifically, they discuss: The primal wound vs. the divorce wound. Pain, shame, and blame surrounding divorce—and the gender differences Elliott has noticed in his work with couples. Leisse observes divorce can trigger the primal wound, causing us to swim in a “soup” of shame and pain. How divorce exacerbates the chronic “not enoughness” women feel. The parallels between divorce and death. The “zombie state” of divorce—the marriage is dead, but your ex is not. Elliott discusses how divorce leaves a spiritual wound and splits your psyche. Leisse compares divorce to cancer; she has endured both. We share strategies for dating a divorced man with children. Healing is a journey, not a destination. No one would pick the path of divorce. But restoration is possible; redemption is available. And, this road, though horribly painful, can help bring us home to ourselves. Leisse Wilcox Website: https://leissewilcox.com/ Rev. Elliott Anderson, M.A. Work with Elliott: https://loveandlifemedia.com/work-with-elliott-anderson Instagram: @pastorelliottanderson Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

In the US alone, more than 300,000 couples over the age of 50 divorce every year and this trend is growing. If you include the adult children involved, between 900,000 and 1.2 million people are impacted by the dissolution of these marriages. In fact, the term “gray divorce” has entered the lexicon to describe couples who part ways later in life. Despite the number of people affected by gray divorce, few resources exist to provide support as adult children manage this unexpected and painful family division. Psychotherapists Carol Hughes and Bruce Fredenburg join me to discuss their book, Home Will Never Be the Same Again:  A Guide for Adult Children of Gray Divorce. So often, adult children of divorce feel invisible. Because they’re adults, others assume they’ll move through the divorce with ease. Their parents may even expect them to feel happy for them as they embark upon their new life. But adult children grieve the loss of their family and in addition to this pain, they’re faced with the challenges of visiting multiple homes for the holidays and navigating competing expectations for loyalty. Join us for an empathic conversation around the realities of gray divorce and its deep impact on all involved. Reference: https://academic.oup.com/psychsocgerontology/article/67/6/731/614154?login=false Carol & Bruce https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/contributors/carol-r-hughes-phd-lmft-and-bruce-r-fredenburg-ms-lmft  Book: https://www.amazon.com/Home-Will-Never-Same-Again/dp/1538135302  Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

Our families have a profound impact on us—not just in childhood, but throughout our lifetime! But, family dynamics can be tricky to sort out due to the intensity of emotions and because we lack the objectivity necessary to see ourselves and our connections clearly; it’s hard to observe a system when you’re part of the system. Furthermore, sometimes our families can unintentionally sabotage our efforts to find our person! Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson joins me for a deep dive into how connections to family members may impede our search for romantic partnership—unbeknownst to all involved! Specifically, Elliott and I discuss: The construct of individuation and its profound impact on not only your family life, but your love life! Why Elliott’s first question to the couples he counsels isn’t about them—rather, it’s always about their families. How we can be both close to and separate from our families! Your man’s lack of confidence as it relates to his individuation. How an adult daughter’s loyalty to her parents may keep her emotionally unavailable to romantic partners. How your parents’ “empty nest” marriage impacts your love life in ways you may not fully realize. Anxious attachment as it relates to enmeshed family systems. Why your brothers and sisters always hate your significant others. Spoiler alert: you need to individuate from your siblings, too! Individuation is an imperative process—one we work on throughout our lives. Though there may be struggles along the way, the differentiation process helps everyone in the family! Rev. Elliott Anderson, M.A. Work with Elliott: https://loveandlifemedia.com/work-with-elliott-anderson Instagram: @pastorelliottanderson Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

In this final segment of our “Relationship Strain of COVID” series, psychotherapist Kate Lambie joins me again for a discussion on values and how they impact our individual responses to the various elements of the pandemic. Spoiler alert—it all goes back to safety and security! We also consider the reality that at times, we may share the same values yet choose to act upon them in different ways. We ask these questions and more! Are bodily autonomy and medical freedom selfish during a pandemic? Are mandates a violation of civil liberties? Or, do they make sense in an emergency? If friends seem unwilling to find common ground, might they be reacting in this manner because they feel unsafe? How does clarifying our values develop empathy and compassion for one another? Kate and I see the pandemic from opposing vantage points. We share our personal struggle to maintain intimacy and connection during these intense past two years. Join us to hear the inside scoop—including the arguments!—of how we’ve tried to remain close despite our discrepant positions. We hope our journey will help you navigate these most challenging times. Disagreements need not pull relationships apart. In fact, healthy conflict management can increase intimacy and authentic connection. Source: https://covid19.nih.gov/news-and-stories/covid-19-vaccines-and-menstrual-cycle Kate Lambie Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/wild-hope-counseling-chicago-il/439158  Instagram: @kate_lambie_lcpc Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

In part two of our series on the relational strain of the pandemic, psychotherapist Kate Lambie joins me to share a trauma informed understanding of fear. No matter what stance we’ve taken regarding the pandemic, we’ve all felt scared at one point or another. Some of us fear the virus; others worry more about the government’s policies surrounding mandates. Either way, our sense of security has been shaken and it’s probably not hyperbolic to suggest we’ve all been somewhat traumatized. In this conversation, Kate and I discuss the ways humans manage fear and how our differing responses may have impacted our connections to those we love most. In particular, we discuss: Common reactions to fear—fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and flock—and how these responses have polarized us over the last two years. Stress and empathy. Spoiler alert:  they can’t coexist—which is why we can be unkind when we’re freaked out! Self-regulation and how it helps us move through fear and maintain intimacy with those we love. How trauma and fear hijack our ability to reason. What’s actually at the root of all our pandemic relationship dissension. Kate and I see the pandemic from opposing vantage points. We share our personal struggle to maintain intimacy and connection during these intense past two years. Join us to hear the inside scoop—including the arguments!—of how we’ve tried to remain close despite our discrepant positions. We hope our journey will help you navigate these most challenging times. Disagreements need not pull relationships apart. In fact, healthy conflict management can increase intimacy and authentic connection. Citations:  - Perry, B. D., & Szalavitz, M. (2007). The boy who was raised as a dog. Basic Books. - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/addiction-and-recovery/202008/understanding-fight-flight-freeze-and-the-fawn-response?amp - https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14330237.2012.10874518 Kate Lambie Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/wild-hope-counseling-chicago-il/439158  Instagram: @kate_lambie_lcpc Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

The last two years have taken a toll on every area of our lives. One of the most painful elements of the pandemic has been the division it’s caused. Relationships have been strained and, in some cases, torn apart. How did we get here? How is it that friends and family members see the last two years from such different vantage points? In this episode, I talk about the beliefs we held before 2020 and how the confirmation bias has impacted our understanding of the pandemic. This episode is part one of a three-part series in which I share constructs from psychology to help us better understand our varying responses to the last two years and also, how to bridge the division we’re experiencing. Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

Elliott is back to answer your questions in Part 2 of our conversation about Avoidant Attachment style. We start with a question from a listener who wrote in after hearing episode 165 about Anxious Attachment in which Elliott mentioned that “oneness” takes years to develop. Her question was: 1. What’s the difference between intimacy and oneness? We then get back to Avoidant Attachment and address the following questions from listeners: 2. I’ve recently left an abusive relationship and started dating an old friend. He was initially very attentive but then he started to pull away which caused me to begin to chase him. We’ve been on again/off again and I think I may have Anxious Attachment, while he’s likely Avoidant. Is it possible for us to make this work? 3. I’ve been on 7 dates with a guy and he’s talking to me about being exclusive but he’s still updating his Bumble profile. I confronted him about it and he said his friend updated it for him. Also, he tells me he hates confrontation. Does he have Avoidant Attachment style? Can I trust him? 4. After I’m intimate with someone, I want to push him away. Do I have an Avoidant Attachment style? 5. How do I give a relationship a chance? After 3 months, I find myself wanting to bolt! I must have an Avoidant Attachment style. Elliott and I field your questions and, because we’re siblings, we definitely don’t agree on every answer! Join us for a fun Q&A session about Avoidant Attachment styles! Rev. Elliott Anderson, M.A. Work with Elliott: https://loveandlifemedia.com/work-with-elliott-anderson Instagram: @pastorelliottanderson Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson is back to continue our series on Attachment Styles. This week we unpack Avoidant Attachment and consider the question, “Is it actually possible to have a relationship with someone with an avoidant attachment style?” Specifically, we address: Why avoidant men may initially appear very excited about the relationship and interested in commitment, but then later, they pull away. The internal struggle of Avoidant Attachment. The Pursuer-Distancer cycle—if you’ve dated someone with an Avoidant Attachment style, you’ve likely experienced this, especially if you have an Anxious Attachment style. When he marries you, but is still avoidant! Why it’s imperative to maintain your self-respect—and how to do so! Ways to bring up concerns about emotional intimacy with an avoidant partner. How to figure out if his Avoidant Attachment is something you can work with or if he’s completely emotionally unavailable. How to determine if you’re experiencing Avoidant Attachment yourself or, if you’re simply with the wrong person. Cultivating intimacy with someone with Avoidant Attachment—it is possible! If you’ve dated someone with an Avoidant Attachment style, you know how confusing it can be. Join us to gain clarity around attachment and acquire specific strategies to help build a healthy connection! Rev. Elliott Anderson, M.A. Work with Elliott: https://loveandlifemedia.com/work-with-elliott-anderson Instagram: @pastorelliottanderson Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support

As Love & Life listeners know, psychologist Dr. Duana Welch, author of the Love Factually book series, encourages us to date as “high status” women. In this episode, as always, she provides the science behind HOW to date high status and WHY it’s imperative we do so—especially when it comes to major decisions like whether to live together before getting married. Specifically, Dr. Welch addresses the following: If I present myself as high status, won’t he think I’m being manipulative and playing hard to get? How do I get him to view me as high status—what specific behaviors will show him this? What if I don’t feel high status? I have an anxious attachment style, how can I ever date high status? Everyone seems to think living together before marriage is a great idea. Do high status women cohabitate before getting married? Dr. Welch provides concrete, science-based answers to these questions and much more! Join us to acquire a high status, empowered approach to dating! Dr. Duana Welch Website: http://www.lovesciencemedia.com/ Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/love-and-life-media/support