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Welcome to the Don’t Crack podcast! That’s it for the year. Thank you everyone that has listened and supported us. With the busy holiday season upon us, we have decided to take a break for a few weeks. So, let me be the first one to say it to you… See you next year! Yup, I still hate myself. I thought it might get better after I said it a second time. It did not.

Welcome to the Don’t Crack podcast! That’s it, the last ringtone. I have to say, I saved the best for last. This is the original “Mrow”. Most of the credit goes to Blackbear – Slide Thru, with a little help form Joel. He had to cat censor it. Enjoy.

Welcome to the Don’t Crack podcast! *Headphone Warning* Play this at a high volume at your own risk. Again, I don’t want to get sued so I won’t put the name of the song on here. O wait, it’s in the title. I could delete it but that would take too much effort. I’ll take my chances.

Welcome to the Don’t Crack podcast! Alright, text tone number two. You may recognize this from a famous band from the 80’s, but Micah has changed the lyrics to something of her own. That should be enough of a disclaimer so we don’t get sued. O, the best part, she didn't know I was recording. 

Welcome to the Don’t Crack podcast! As promised, here is your first ring/text tone. *WARNING* This is one of the loudest burps ever recorded… on the podcast. Use as you please. Feel free to download it on your friends’ phone and prank them. You have my permission.

Welcome to the Don’t Crack podcast! We have a few surprises for you this week. I won’t spoil it here in the description. I will give you a “disclaimer”, it’s not the same thing so get off my back… We will not be releasing full length episodes this week, but we will have some other goodies that hopefully make up for it.

Welcome to the Don’t Crack podcast! Week one was a bit of a roller coaster. I was a little nervous after hearing Ryan’s strategy for the weight loss competition, but then Ryan opened his mouth and words came out that made me think I had a chance at victory. Take a listen to find out who won by a narrow margin. O, and the best part... Punishment!

Welcome to the Don’t Crack podcast! Mute, something I wish Micah was. Hmmm, maybe I’ll recreate what happened to the main character in this movie and run Micah over with a boat. Just typing that makes me feel a little guilty, and now the guilt is gone. Good day.

Welcome to the Don’t Crack podcast! Guess what, a new challenger has arrived. I have not retired Harold Johnson, but I did want to shake things up a bit. Even if Ryan and Micah did not think it was very clever. Who cares what they think… They don’t even listen to the podcast…

Welcome to the Don’t Crack podcast! Let’s complete the dream, shall we? We leave our dream house in our dream car to drive to our dream concert. Maybe next week we will pick out our dream date. Even better, we  day dream about a dream while dreaming in our bed. Meh, too much dreaming. I’ll get back to you next week.  

Welcome to the Don’t Crack podcast! Let’s see what’s on the agenda for today… Name shaming, my first encounter with Darwin and a sneak peek at Ryan’s potential punishment for Fatboy Face Off. I couldn’t contain myself, I just had to tell him.

Welcome to the Don’t Crack podcast! That’s right, another segment, because I can. I like to keep it fresh, and if you’re no jive turkey then move along. Wait, I didn’t mean it… please stay. At least listen to the podcast and see if you like it. Ryan and Joel go head to head in a weight loss competition with consequences. Trust me, I have a feeling you’ll like it.  

Welcome to the Don’t Crack podcast! I haven’t laughed this hard since I made Ryan and Micah eat the nasty jelly beans, and I lost it twice this episode. It really wasn’t because of the movie either. It was because Ryan started to review the wrong movie and Darwin had soda coming out of his nose. Classic.

Welcome to the Don’t Crack podcast! Someone needs to take this email away from me. I am having too much fun messing with these scammers. This episode we catch back up with a couple military men with some consignment boxes I have coming my way. Plus, I get to sing a song to one of my correspondents’.

Welcome to the Don’t Crack podcast! If you like a little random, then I have an episode for you. Let’s start with Amanda sticking her foot in a mouse trap. Mosey on down to Joel’s goal for the podcast. Finally, we finish with Ryan ruining his D&D campaign. Yup, that should do it.

Welcome to the Don’t Crack podcast! We have the fake house, now we just need the fake car to complete the dream. O, how could I almost forget? The redheaded wonder makes his debut appearance. We have hinted at the existence of this magnificent individual, but it’s time you meet him for yourself.

Welcome to the Don’t Crack podcast! Entry Five: A Slow Start I just realized I have enlisted the help of two family members now. This episode Ryan helps out. I use the word “help” very loosely. I let him message a tinder match… Lesson learned.

Welcome to the Don’t Crack podcast! Time to introduce Micah to a little bit of culture. I was going to let Ryan recap the movie because it was “his favorite movie of all time” but he had performance anxiety. So you’re just going to have to listen to “Joel’s slightly boring review”.

Welcome to the Don’t Crack podcast! Time to stop what you are doing and… Please Advise. That’s just as satisfying to type as it is to say. I have a couple of good ones for you this week. Listen as we talk about a woman whose husband met his fate for an unusual reason. O, and I talk with an Army General that has 40 million dollars waiting for me. Jackpot!

Welcome to the Don’t Crack podcast! Guess who’s back? Back again, WAC is back, tell a friend. That just felt right. It’s been 3 weeks since our last “With A Catch” and that is too long. I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive us. If not, I’ll just have to cry myself to sleep, but that’s nothing new. It’s the only way I can fall asleep these days.