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Doctor Who: The Krynoid PodCast
170 minutes | 2 months ago
139: The Hand of Fear
So it’s time to go home for Andy Pandy fangirl, Sarah Jane Smith. And there’s a hand pulling the strings in this show too, giving tupperware a bad name and Professor Watson a bad day at the power plant. Handily, crystalline cosmic crook Eldrad can reform herself from her moribund mitt and then she herself suffers from a wandering hand from her leading man. For a change, we leave a quarry to land on an alien planet where ‘she’ becomes a ‘he’, the decibel level rockets and he – and the serial – fall off a cliff. But is it OK to fancy Eldrad? How many (if any) puerile ‘ring’ jokes should be allowed in one podcast episode? And do Jim and Martin think The Hand of Fear deserves a thumbs up? Or do they give it the finger? Listen and you might get an answer to some or none of the above. The lads also review the brand new audiobooks of Dalek and The Crimson Horror! Also available on Spotify.
149 minutes | 3 months ago
138: The Ultimate Foe
Welcome to The Fun Factory: trespassers will be self-prosecuted. The Valeyard (aka The Flaw Doctor) makes the most of a unique Time Lord feature and gives his own SJW predecessor a right legal leathering on Space Station SFX. But they still find time for trips to Camber Quicksands and Popplewick’s House of Exploding Quills, where the waiting room is spacious but gives you that sinking feeling. The Doctor quotes, the Master gloats and Glitz dotes on bank notes, while the Keeper is not averse to the odd slide tackle to protect his Panatropic Net (even though Mel always aims for row Z). But did Jim and Martin find The Ultimate Foe ultimately forgettable or a worthy way to end an era? Listen to find out. The lads also review the audiobooks of The Krotons and The Curse of Fenric. Also available on Spotify.
198 minutes | 4 months ago
137: The Dalek Invasion of Earth
You may think life can’t get much worse at the moment but locked-down Brexity Britain looks positively idyllic compared to Blighty under the rubber skirt of Dalek rule. This septic isle is overrun with motorised dustbins, headphone-wearing dullards who’ve really let themselves go and the most unrealistic pet since K9. The Doctor falls on his coccyx, Susan falls in love, Ian falls out of a door and Babs falls in with a rough crowd and TWOKs a dustcart. Luckily, a fratricidal fellow rebel lends two hands and Mr Rumbold lends his ears but the perma-grumpy Mrs Briers fails to stop Babs succumbing to crones. Would you buy a used mattress from a Dalek? Is the entry exam for the Roboman Academy too difficult? How many floating corpses would it take to put you off a glass of water? And did Jim and Martin find The Dalek Invasion of Earth to be a glorious triumph or a misbegotten folly? Listen to find out! The lads also review the audiobooks of Fury From The Deep and The Awakening. Also available on Spotify.
160 minutes | 5 months ago
What could be more fun at Christmas than a Punch and Judy show? Almost anything, of course, but perhaps even puppety domestic violence is preferable to mental subservience to an ancient evil. This is the lot of tetchy Tegan, who’s red in tooth and eye again, but at least she gets to spread the hate with an embryonic Doc Martin this time around. Nyssa cosplays a deckchair and the Doctor indulges in some heavy breathing, while Mr Sladen is forced to reflect on the viability of his shoddy little booth. Lon’s special dress is even shorter than his temper but not as skimpy as his mum’s interest in Ambril’s antiques. But did Jim and Martin find Snakedance becoming or did they conclude that that’s not the way to do it? Listen to find out! The lads also review the audiobooks of The Mark of the Rani and The Pyramids of Mars. Also available on Spotify.
224 minutes | 6 months ago
135: The Invasion of Time
When is a talkative chair not a talkative chair? When it’s an alien shower curtain. Or a stumpy git in a pith helmet. But, underwhelming as they are, the Vardans still plan an Invasion of Time by conquering pound-shop Gallifrey – a land of medicinal jelly beans, powerful ping pong balls and walnut-chomping dropouts. Its denizens include Chancellor Borusa who’s more put-upon than Tom Baker’s beer mat and Castellan Kelner who’s slimier than a newly-painted Myrka. And, of course, a prototype Romana who’s qualified to wield a screwdriver but can’t hack it in the university of life, even with a bumper pack of Giant Smarties at her side. The Doctor shouts, K9 snarks and Leela shacks up with an innocent bystander, while the surprise Sontarans stomp about, searching in vain for a jellied eels stall. But did Jim and Martin find the story an all-conquering triumph or was it just an unwelcome invasion of their time? Listen to find out. The lads also review the audiobooks of The Doomsday Weapon and The Edge of Destruction. Also available on Spotify.
183 minutes | 7 months ago
134: Fury From The Deep
Scream if you want to leave faster! That seems to be Victoria’s tactic as she sobs, whimpers and shrieks her way out of the show in Fury From The Deep. Indeed, old Leather Lungs’ prodigious output is harnessed to harass some killer kelp and make its human puppets less weedy – even beating the expert man-mismanager John Robson for decibels in the process. Jamie opts out of a foam party and, for a change, it’s the Doctor who can’t control his chopper. Meanwhile, Mr Wint and Mr Kidd need to rethink their dental hygiene regimes and Perkins would be better off seeking his raison d’etre than searching for a spouse. Has Maggie Harris been at the Mother’s Ruin? Does the new animation place the story deeper within the long arms of the lore? And did Fury From The Deep sweep Jim and Martin along or leave them beached on the shores of ennui? Listen to find out. The lads also review the audiobooks of The Dominators and Dragonfire. Also available on Spotify.
140 minutes | 8 months ago
133: The Space Museum
A museum? On a planet, you say? Amazingly, that’s just where TARDIS brings Doctor Who and chums in The Space Museum. But the problems here are worse than an expensive gift shop, a blocked urinal or a coach party of feral school kids. For the planet Xeros is occupied by the moaning Morocks, a race only slightly less pathetic than the indigenous teenage beatniks, among whom subjugation raises barely/only an eyebrow. And our plucky travellers have problems of their own, chiefly their future starring roles in the most boring tourist attraction since the financially disastrous Sensorites’ Sexy Sashes exhibition. Our heroes deal with the trauma in their own individual ways though, with the Doctor kipping for an episode, Vicki stirring up the students, Babs having a smoke break and Ian chewing her cardigan. Will the time travellers evade their fate? Would you buy a used glass from Vicki? What day is Nude Day on the TARDIS? And did Jim and Martin find themselves informed and entertained by The Space Museum or is it just a dusty old relic? Listen to find out! The lads also review the audiobooks of The Curse of Peladon and Image of the Fendahl. You can also find this and many other Krynoid PodCast episodes on Spotify.
219 minutes | 9 months ago
132: Colony In Space
A bit of holiday advice from the Green Cathedral: better a staycation in Blighty than a sojourn on Uxarieus, a planet more miserable than Raymond Cusick at a Dalek memorabilia auction. But this monochrome blob of clay is surprisingly sought after, with hairy hippies and corporate breadheads alike fighting to the death over it. And perhaps the indigenous residents might even feel they have a claim to the land. Not that anyone cares about that, of course. As well as providing mud, rain and a single flower, Uxarieus offers a mother lode of the very mineral that the twelvty squillion residents of 25th Century Earth desperately need and the very eff-off WMD the Master evilly craves. So, to this end, the future Rev Magister pretends to be an Adjudicator while the wiggy Cap'n Dent tries to put the willies up the colonists with rubbish robots and home videos of his pet gecko. Throw in a crap puppet, prune-faced priests, over-Botoxed primitives and a prescient nod to a taboo TV host and we have something of a carnival of monsters. But did Jim and Martin warm to the wet February clay pit that is the Colony In Space or did it leave them colder than Terry Walsh's wobbly bits? Listen to find out! We also review the audiobooks of The Cybermen and Paradise Towers. Find us on Spotify too. Listener feedback for this story can be found here.
192 minutes | 10 months ago
131 The Dominators
As travel restrictions relax, maybe it’s time to give Cully’s Adventures Unlimited a whirl? His ship’s a bit of a squeeze but the elderly Lothario can secretly sail you to the enticing Island of Death with its distinctive countryside, prestigious museum and friendly fellow tourists, The Dominators. Their Quarks are as cheesy as they sound – and they sound ridiculous. Nevertheless they’re more than capable of duffing up the docile Dulkians, who are wetter than a Sea Devil’s shower cap. TV’s Brian Cant offers some resistance for a while but then departs for a smoke so it’s up to Jamie, Zoe, the Doctor and some other bloke dressed as the Doctor to save the day. But what the heck is a rob’t? Will Rago and Toba ever seek marriage guidance? What did Cully witness when Jamie climbed that ladder? And did The Dominators recharge Jim and Martin’s batteries or leave them as demoralised as a person pretending to be a dummy of a person? Listen to find out! Also available on Spotify.
154 minutes | a year ago
130: Image of the Fendahl
Many of you may still be locked up with your family but, with any luck, your house-mates don’t include a glowing alien skull, a gun-toting Teuton and a creepy occultist. Even Benylin Bandersnatch’s mum would be of little comfort, haunted as she is by a noisy, slimy creature (named Adam Colby). The TARDIS team come to the rescue but K9’s lost his voice, Leela’s lost some of her hair and the Doctor’s lost his ability to distinguish Jelly Babies from Liquorice Allsorts. Luckily, the Tylers (not those Tylers!) are on hand to dispense cake, rock salt and Mummerset premonitions. But did Image of the Fendahl give Jim and Martin a burst of primal power or suck out their collective life-force? Listen to find out! We also review the audiobooks of The Five Doctors and The Daemons. Also available on Spotify.
179 minutes | a year ago
129: Paradise Towers
Feeling trapped in your home with limited entertainment and an uncertain world outside? Well maybe you can sympathise with the residents of Paradise Towers – a horrible high-rise housing low-rent war machines, an apparently tin Hitler, omnivorous OAPs and TV’s most amateur and least dramatic junior AmDram group. The Doctor wants answers, Mel wants a dip and Kroagnon wants a mass eviction order. Familiarly, it’s reds versus blues with the yellows invisible (robot crabs included). So did Paradise Towers build Jim and Martin’s happiness high or did they feel unalive by the end of it all? Listen to find out! Also available on Spotify
23 minutes | a year ago
Krynoid PodCast Extra: Dimensions in Time
As our next episode (Paradise Towers) will be later than usual and as many of you will have more time than usual to kill, we’ve dredged up something from our past as a piece of additional Lockdown content. Back in March 2017, the Blue Box Podcast kindly invited us and others to contribute to their 250th episode. We weighed in with a 20 minute review of the 1993 Children in Need charity special, Dimensions in Time. You can watch Dimensions in Time here. If you didn’t catch our review first time around, or would like to here it again, here it is. Also available on Spotify. All the Blue Box Podcasts can be found on iTunes, etc. but, as you may know, the team have since regenerated into the Strangers in Space podcast – well worth subscribing to and also available on iTunes. Stay safe.
187 minutes | a year ago
128: Marco Polo
With all of us seeing rather too much of our immediate locales at the moment, what better time to come with us on a voyage through old Cathay? That said, our TARDIS team may have preferred to self-isolate from their travelling companions – a thieving Venetian and a Machiavellian Mongol. On this trip of a lifetime, our magic caravanners must face frostbite, poisoning, thirst, a surfeit of sand and some interpretive dance. The Doctor gets hysterical, Susan gets a friend, Ian gets a go at cherchez la femme and it all gets a bit dicey for Babs. Will the Doctor ever get back the keys to his caravan? Does the TARDIS carry a dehumidifier? Will the great Kublai Khan resort to Cathayan viagra to escape his wife? And did the trip broaden the minds of Jim and Martin or leave them saddle sore? Listen to find out!
200 minutes | a year ago
127: The Leisure Hive
In need of a holiday in these trying times? Where better than Space Fawlty Towers on the nuke-shagged planet of Argolis? Answer: almost anywhere. For The Leisure Hive is a place where reptiles skin up, guests are dismembered and squash players lose their balls. Romana gets a new lab partner, the Doctor gets an old face and K9 regrets his attempt to become a salty sea dog. The First Lady doesn’t bat a green eyelid when her husband spills his seed and dies. Instead she hooks up with her fancy (hu)man, spends a lot of time sprawled on a table and ends up with a baby. Is Pangol Prentis’s apprentice? What girdles do the Foamasi use and where can we get some? And did The Leisure Hive give Jim and Martin a new lease of life or make them feel older than Santa Tom? Listen to find out! Also available on Spotify.
209 minutes | a year ago
126: The Power of the Daleks
So you want to continue your successful show but need to recast your leading man. What do you do? Why you make it as difficult as possible for your bemused audience to accept him, of course! The Power of the Daleks sees impish impostor Pat Troughton cackling evilly, talking about himself in the third person and doing his very best to disingratiate himself with the good cop / bad cop companions, Polly and Ben. Luckily there are some seemingly servile Daleks to distract their attention, along with some crafty colonists, an increasingly mad professor and Vulcan’s worst ever spy. Polly wears shorts, the Doctor wears a silly hat, and Ben wears down everyone’s nerves with his unmanaged anger. Does Valmar desire dominatrices? Who would win in a fight between Hartnell and Troughton? Will the Doctor’s recorder soon be in need of a rinse? And did Jim and Martin find the new bloke a refreshing change or more like a fart in the face from a mercury swamp? Listen to find out! Also available on Spotify.
225 minutes | a year ago
We start 2020 with an ending. Loathe him or hate him, Adric has been a big part (prat?) of 80s Who but all things must pass, however indigestible. Yes, this is Earthshock, which packed a couple of major bombshells back in the day (not counting Beryl Reid). It’s a tale of pointless deaths, some equally pointless characters and gender fluid troopers (many of them genuinely fluid by the time the murderous mime act has finished with them). The Doctor promotes fine dining, Tegan packs heat, Nyssa plays house and Adric ploughs into the Diplodocidae. Meanwhile, it’s all bonuses and bollockings from Beryl and her long-suffering lackey can’t even sell out his own planet properly. Luckily Scott musters more machismo in his moustache than in Ringway’s whole body but cringing Kyle goes from gung-ho to agoraphobic at the drop of a boiler suit. So were Jim and Martin wildly cheering or weeping inconsolably by the end of it all? Listen to find out. Also available on Spotify.
234 minutes | a year ago
124: The Armageddon Factor
In our December episode, Jim and Martin ease themselves into Whuletide by settling down to watch The Black and White Guardian Show. It’s something of a festive feast, featuring as it does Rudolph the Two-Nosed Shadow, a space Trotter on hols from ver Big Smoke and some props which look suspiciously like they’ve come out of a Christmas cracker (along with some of the jokes). The wicked Marshal gets advice from his mirror while our fairy tale princess is prepared to be part of a crystal to get the part of Romana. She’s pursued by a man who’s wetter than a Sea Devil’s vest and he’s feebly assisted by another, whose life seems to be redirected halfway through by a visit from three ghosts – presumably Norman Wisdom, Mr Pastry and a Chuckle Brother. Meanwhile, the Doctor rants, Romana vamps and K9 switches masters as rapidly as TV channels on a bloated Boxing Day. But did the lads think The Armageddon Factor was a missing piece in their lives or was it the last orange cream in the Quality Street tin of Television? Listen to find out!
231 minutes | a year ago
123: Planet of the Spiders
“No, I shan’t… you shan’t take him!” Jenny Laird crashes out of the running for her own award in the arachnophobe’s nightmare that is Planet of the Spiders. It’s a tale of a tweedy traitor, yogic flying, mind-altering jewellery and more creepy crawlies than you can shake a rolled-up newspaper at. The Brig blushes, Sarah rushes (between two stories) and Mike Yates saves face while the Doctor loses his. Would you buy a used watch from the Brigadier? Was Mike Yates already doing exotic dancer exercises? Can anyone free Lupton’s mandala? And do Jim and Martin think this story is a Great One or in need of regeneration? Listen to find out!
141 minutes | 2 years ago
122: The Myth Makers
"Mightiest of warriors, greatest in battle, humblest of your servants." Well they do say learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all, Achilles, but this is tendon towards arrogance. Yes, this month it's the swords and sandals epic, The Myth Makers, in which Steven gets a new outfit, Vicki gets a new name and the Doctor gets out of a breezy solo flight into the big city. They meet a jolly Jack Tar, a sotto voce soldier, a shrieking soothsayer and a king who chucks his Troys out of the Priam (yes, we know that doesn't make any sense but Donald Cotton's puns are getting to us). So is there really a Doctor in the horse? Will Vicki find true love with the time-weathered teen, Troilus? And will Jim and Martin award The Myth Makers legendary status or did it ring as hollow as a Trojan Horse? Listen to find the answer to some of these questions and less.
193 minutes | 2 years ago
121: State of Decay
"Then die. That is the purpose of guards." It seems that the life of a vampire's chief henchman is no better than that of an Alzarian milkmaid. No wonder he turned to drink. This is 1980's State of Decay, eliciting the cheesiest ever episode of this podcast from The Two Who Fool (About). In a land where rubber bats wheel in an unrealistic green sky, the Doctor stops a door with his nose while Romana prefers to play undead rather than talk to Adric (who walks like he has a second badge for Mathematical Excellence secreted up his fundament). For a feudal society, there's no shortage of fashion statements. The bloodthirsty local gentry model a nice line in goth cosmetics while their agricultural underlings wear miniskirts, string toupees and beards cannibalised from a busted sofa. Underneath it all, an enormous Nosferatu makes a breakthrough and gets a big hand. So do Jim and Martin think this story is a Great One or a big Wasting of time? Listen to find out.
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