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40 minutes | Sep 6, 2022
Female Divorce Attorneys Talk Collaborative Divorce and the Effective Modeling of Conflict Resolution Created for Children and Parents
For decades, the family court system has done a poor job of showing children how to handle conflict and strife. In North Carolina, three women have set out to be generational chain breakers, modeling positive and effective communication through conflict resolution. On this episode of Divorce, Healthy!, host Ashley-Nicole Russell speaks with collaborative law attorneys Robin Mermans, owner of Road to Resolution, and Irene King, founder of King Collaborative Family Law. The trio delve into the significance of collaborative practices and the future of divorce law in general. Each attorney discusses her own tumultuous path with divorce and court proceedings that led them to study, pursue, and practice collaborative law. They all agree that collaborative practices don’t just help the separating couple remain civil, but also demonstrates to children and family circles how divorce can be handled with mutual understanding. “A divorce can be a way that you're able to move forward in a positive nature and in a healthy way for your family,” said Ashley-Nicole. “It can still be handled with respect. And I think that the respect aspect is such a large piece of this.” Tune in to this episode of Divorce, Healthy! with Ashley-Nicole Russell, Collaborative Attorney serving Beaufort, Raleigh, and Greenville, NC. 💡 Featured Guest 💡Name: Robin M. Mermans What she does: Robin is an attorney, who runs Road to Resolution — Divorce Mediation and Collaborative Family Law in North Carolina. After going through her own relatively amicable divorce, Robin left her job at a Fortune 500 company to pursue law school and practice collaborative mediation. Words of wisdom: “Once I learned about collaborative [law], I was hooked. It was exactly what I was looking for. Two parties still have attorneys, so you're not in that unlawful-practice-of-law landscape. You're problem-solving, and helping people, ideally, close the chapter and start a new one in a healthy manner.” Connect: https://www.roadtoresolution.com (Website) | https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-milo-mermans-b7b43723/ (LinkedIn) | https://www.facebook.com/roadtoresolution/ (Facebook) Name: Irene King What she does: Irene is the founder of King Collaborative Family Law. She found her way to collaborative law after decades of suiting up as a gladiator in family law each day and seeing families fall apart. Words of wisdom: “We can do really amazing things for families by keeping them out of the courtroom. We can keep them talking. We can ensure that their next chapter will be a viable one for the family, even if they have to reframe the way that they look as they move forward with their lives. It's completely possible.” Connect: https://kingcollaborativelaw.com (Website) | https://www.linkedin.com/in/irene-king-8829026/ (LinkedIn) | Email Connect with ANR Law⭐ To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to http://www.anrlaw.com/ (www.anrlaw.com). ⭐ You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. ⭐ Divorce Lawyer Ashely-Nicole Russell has law offices serving clients in Greenville, Raleigh, and Beaufort, North Carolina. ⭐ Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy! https://pod.link/1499736936 (Subscribe) in your preferred podcast app.
30 minutes | Jul 26, 2022
Why Collaborative Is the Most Effective Method for a Healthy Divorce With IACP President Lori Gephart
In this season of the Divorce, Healthy! podcast, we’re diving deep into the collaborative process. From mediation, to co-parenting, to top-notch resources for demystifying collaborative practice, this season is going to cover all corners of collaboration to help navigate divorce. Divorce can be a nightmare for all parties involved. That’s why Lori Gephart, President of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP), is on a mission to share the benefits of collaborative practice. There’s a great deal of fear and emotions that come with divorce. There are legal, financial, and emotional burdens that weigh down the people involved. Not only that, but many children face psychological issues after the process, often developing an ingrained fear of divorce. So what can people do to mitigate fear, find better co-parenting options, and foster a healthier, smoother process? This is where Collaborative comes into play. Collaborative practice is a healthier alternative to litigation. It promotes communication, builds on empathy, and works toward a shared goal. It also lowers conflict and addresses common fears that occur in the process. Lori says that “when fear walks into the room, we talk about what’s important to you.” So, how can you get involved in Collaborative practice? Through webinars, resources, conferences, and a global network of professionals, the IACP is educating people on the impact of Collaborative practice and why it’s so important. If you’re going through a divorce, the IACP can help you find mediation professionals in your area (like those at ANR Law) who can coach you through the process. If you’re a professional in the Collaborative space, you can become a member of the IACP and gain access to a vast network that is always willing to learn, teach, and work together. On this episode of Divorce, Healthy! host Ashley-Nicole sits down with Lori to talk about Collaborative practice and how it can foster a healthy divorce process. Tune in to this episode of Divorce, Healthy! with Ashley-Nicole Russell, Collaborative Attorney serving Beaufort, Raleigh, and Greenville, NC. 💡 Featured Guest 💡Name: Lori Gephart What she does: Lori Gephart is a collaborative divorce coach, licensed psychologist, and the President of North Hills Psychological Associates, which is the first collaborative practice east of Raleigh. Lori was the first collaborative attorney to start directly out of law school in North Carolina, having studied under the first collaborative attorney in the state during law school. Now, she helps families separate and divorce without going to court for a healthier, more respectful divorce. Lori also started training with the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) in 2011, eventually moving up to her current role as President. Words of Wisdom: “I do this work because I believe that it's healthier for children and families.” Connect: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lori-gephart-b203907/ (LinkedIn) | https://twitter.com/nhpawellness (Twitter) | https://nhpa.com/ (North Hills Psychological Associates) | https://www.collaborativepractice.com/ (IACP) | https://www.facebook.com/IACPCommunity/ (Facebook (IACP)) | https://twitter.com/IACPNews (Twitter (IACP)) | https://www.linkedin.com/groups/2936590/ (LinkedIn (IACP)) Connect with ANR Law⭐ To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to http://www.anrlaw.com (www.anrlaw.com). ⭐ You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. ⭐ Divorce Lawyer Ashely-Nicole Russell has law offices serving clients in Greenville, Raleigh, and Beaufort, North Carolina. ⭐ Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy! https://pod.link/1499736936 (Subscribe) in your preferred podcast app.
35 minutes | Mar 21, 2022
Divorce by Website - Attorney Erin Levine Endeavors to Have Quality and Affordability With Hello Divorce
The expense of divorce can be quite a burden, especially with today’s rising costs forcing us all to do more with less. Erin Levine, founder of Hello Divorce, is seeking to change that narrative. An experienced divorce attorney herself, Erin wanted to find a way to reduce the most expensive part of the divorce process — attorneys. She recognized that most divorces don’t require litigation. Instead, clients need a basic set of resources and support from compassionate professionals who can help make the legal divorce process as painless as possible. “The goal of Hello Divorce is to make divorce easier, friendlier, and a lot more affordable,” Erin says. “It doesn't mean that there won't be conflict. There's almost always conflict. But it doesn't mean that we need to ramp up the divorce such that we're battling it out in court.” She developed Hello Divorce to be a checklist and one-stop-shop for attaining divorce resources — from compiling documents, to mediation, to working with an attorney to draft and submit the final paperwork to court. Hello Divorce is customizable and can be tailored to fit each person’s particular needs. Its competitive pricing packages and à la carte services provide options that are typically out of reach for most people. Though the full suite of offerings is currently available in just a few select states, Erin plans to expand so she can serve more people. On this episode of Divorce, Healthy! host Ashley-Nicole sits down with Erin to discuss how Hello Divorce is driving change and creating space for more comfortable divorces. Tune in to this episode of Divorce, Healthy! with Ashley-Nicole Russell, Collaborative Attorney serving Beaufort, Raleigh, and Greenville, NC. 💡 Featured Guest 💡Name: Erin Levine What she does: Erin Levine, Esq. is an experienced divorce attorney who developed her company, Hello Divorce, to help streamline, cut costs, educate, and reduce overwhelm for uncomplicated divorces. Her mission is to make divorce easier, friendlier, and more affordable. Words of wisdom: “[Divorce is] not an event. It’s a journey.” Connect: https://hellodivorce.com/ (Website) | https://www.linkedin.com/in/erinlevine/ (LinkedIn) | https://www.instagram.com/hellodivorce/ (Instagram) | https://www.pinterest.com/hellodivorce/_created/ (Pinterest) 🗝️ Key Points 🗝️ Top takeaways from this Divorce, Healthy! episode Most divorces don’t need a litigating attorney. When there are two willing parties in a divorce, it’s often easier to come to an agreement without going to trial. Hello Divorce is a great option for those cases because it saves money and heartache. Reduce the overwhelm through education. It’s easy to feel lost when starting the divorce journey. Hello Divorce offers worksheets and checklists to help you work through the basics and manage the anxiety around the entire divorce process. Hello Divorce’s resources aim to democratize divorce in all 50 states. While Hello Divorce isn’t yet available across the country, you can use its worksheets to get organized no matter your location. Also, prospective clients can use Hello Divorce’s mediators, then use a local attorney to draft the needed documents. ⚡ Episode Insights ⚡[04:16] The goal for Hello Divorce: Erin wants people to leave her website with the ability to “reduce the overwhelm” and feel more comfortable with an uncomfortable subject. [07:03] Who can benefit from Hello Divorce: Erin gives an overview of the intended audience for Hello Divorce. It’s typically for uncomplicated divorces. [10:08] What to expect from a consultation: Erin breaks down the https://hellodivorce.com/our-process/ (Hello Divorce process) and how to best make use of the resources available. [14:43] The reach of Hello Divorce: Hello Divorce is not available in all 50 states yet, due to the different laws in each state. Currently, it’s available in California, Colorado, Texas, and Utah, with New York and Florida...
27 minutes | Dec 10, 2021
Curing the Next Generation: Why We Need To Fix Divorce Culture
Divorce, Healthy! was started to help people find a way to get through divorce in non-destructive ways. Ashley-Nicole Russell’s passion has inspired her personal mission statement: to change how divorce is handled in America. Ashley-Nicole launched the Divorce, Healthy! podcast with a monologue. In today’s episode, she shares a new reflection of her journey thus far in achieving her goals and changing divorce culture. “That statement grew over time. It started with my mission to change divorce in my small town, to my state, to my entire country. And I really want to make sure that I save families from the destructive effects of what happens during divorce,” Ashley-Nicole says. On this episode of Divorce, Healthy! Ashley-Nicole shares her personal experience as an adult child of divorce and as a divorcee, why she wrote her book “https://www.amazon.com/Cure-Divorce-Culture-Ashley-Nicole-Russell/dp/1732553807 (The Cure for Divorce Culture),” and how she’s a living example of what she writes. “As we say in the south, the proof is in the pudding, right? … In the book, you get a big view of what happened [in my divorce]. There are some things that are a bit unsaid. And then, of course, there's the finished product of me actually moving on, having my own family, and curing [divorce] in the ways that I can for the next generation,” Ashley-Nicole says. Ashley-Nicole reflects on child custody, support, the duty of HR and Alternative Dispute Resolution in divorce. Additionally, she touches on parental alienation, father’s rights, mother's rights and self-awareness. Through her own personal journey, Ashley-Nicole has learned how to heal past traumas and find her own way to a happy and healthy life. Tune in to this episode of Divorce, Healthy! with Ashley-Nicole Russell, Collaborative Attorney serving Beaufort, Raleigh, and Greenville, NC. 💡 Featured Guest 💡Name: Ashley-Nicole Russell What she does: Ashley-Nicole Russell, Esq. is an award-winning family law attorney, author, speaker, and host of the podcast Divorce, Healthy!. She has created a new area of practice for family law in North Carolina and wrote the book, “https://www.amazon.com/Cure-Divorce-Culture-Ashley-Nicole-Russell/dp/1732553807 (The Cure for Divorce Culture),” which is helping to change the way couples divorce in the U.S. Her mission is to change how divorce is handled in this country over the next four years. Words of wisdom: “I have a beautiful passion that's fueling me. And that's to fix divorce in America.” Connect: https://anrlaw.com/ (Website) | https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashley-nicole-russell-186ba844/ (LinkedIn) | https://www.instagram.com/anrlaw/?hl=en (Instagram) 🗝️ Key Points 🗝️Top takeaways from this Divorce, Healthy! episode ★ Stigmas attached to divorce hurt children. Divorce as it has traditionally been viewed can have long-lasting negative effects on children that last into adulthood. This is why Ashley-Nicole knows it’s so important to change the culture of divorce. ★ Eliminate the battleground with divorce. Moving away from a litigation focus with divorce has opened up opportunities for parents to pursue shared parenting and allows families to come together and do what’s best for their children. ★ Model the behavior you want to see in your children. As a new parent herself, Ashley-Nicole has seen how important it is to model the behavior you want to see in your children. ⚡ Episode Insights ⚡[01:14] The monologue, part two: Ashley-Nicole reflects on the start of the Divorce, Healthy! Podcast. In this episode, she shares a follow-up monologue about her goal to cure divorce culture in America. [03:17] A personal passion: Ashley-Nicole opens up and shares her personal experiences as a divorcee and an adult child of divorce. [09:35] Divorce is evolving: Divorce is no longer a one-sided litigation-focused event. There are now many different options including...
36 minutes | Oct 12, 2021
Pay Attention, Corporate America: Custody Battles Could be Costing Revenue
Casey Sowers followed 14 years of military service with a long career as a project manager in the private sector. During this time, he found himself fighting for equal shared custody of one of his daughters. Prior to this, it had never occurred to Casey to look into the custody industry, or to consider the custody rights of divorced fathers. But after the stress of his own custody battle seriously affected his mental health and job performance, he started to get more involved. Now, Casey is Executive Director of The Fathers’ Rights Movement, a nonprofit made up of parents who advocate for 50/50 shared custody. At first, Casey thought the impact of his own custody battle was all psychological. However, when he stopped to think about how many times he’d had to take a call from a lawyer, or find evidence related to his case during work hours, he began to wonder whether custody battles are costing corporate America significant amounts of revenue. This motivated him to launch a pilot study to test this theory. So far, it includes 4,300 people. The groundbreaking study is being released to addresses the impact that inequality in the United States Family Court System has on corporations. This is the most comprehensive research project of its kind that observes the effects that shared parenting and the court system has on not only families, but also corporations and communities. Companies are growing increasingly concerned about the negative effects of divorce litigation on their employees and families, including emotional hardship and mental health issues that lead to decreased productivity and time away from work. Additionally, subpoenas are causing taxing issues for companies to produce massive amounts of documents and testimony under these duress cases. Casey hopes to prove that poor mental health — such as the kind he suffered during his custody battle — affects job performance. And since job performance is tied to corporate revenue loss, it’s in corporate America’s interest to advocate for a system in which fathers have a fair chance at gaining equal custody of their children. Tune in to this episode of Divorce, Healthy! with Ashley-Nicole Russell, Collaborative Attorney serving Beaufort, Raleigh, and Greenville, NC. 💡 Featured Guest 💡Name: Casey Sowers What he does: Casey directs https://tfrm.org/ (The Fathers’ Rights Movement), a group of fathers and mothers who advocate for divorced parents to receive equal custody of their children. Words of wisdom: “My duty as a father is to do whatever I need to in the best interest of my child. It's about being patient, not being reactive, and staying mentally healthy. Even if you're not able to see your child, you need to be complete and whole as a person.” Connect: https://www.linkedin.com/in/casey-sowers/ (LinkedIn) | https://www.instagram.com/casey_sowers_tfrm/ (Instagram) 🗝️ Key Points 🗝️Top takeaways from this Divorce, Healthy! episode ★ Consider collaboration instead. In North Carolina — which the National Parenting Organization awarded a D- in its https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5e28a95cdc8bed16729b93de/t/5ea995b637516809d1d16152/1588172215751/2019_NPO_Shared_Parenting_Report_Card_v11_10172019.pdf (2019 Shared Parenting Report Card) — it’s not unheard of to pay $150,000 for child custody litigation, depending on which county you live in. Casey spent $140,000 over the course of two years for his litigation in Florida. Settling through a collaborative legal approach is far less expensive. ★ Understand what you’re signing up for. If you choose to litigate instead of collaborate, keep your expectations realistic. It’s a long, arduous, costly process. If you take that as a given, it will be easier to manage your emotions and be there for your child. ★ Put your child’s well-being first. Don’t fall into the trap of making yourself the victim during your custody battle. Prioritize...
33 minutes | Jun 11, 2021
How to Pick a Better Partner and Prevent Divorce with Bela Gandhi
Dating can be daunting. Some people go for the same type of partners time and again, ignoring red flags and gravitating toward drama. It doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, it shouldn’t be that way. On this episode of Divorce, Healthy!, dating coach Bela Gandhi discusses her successful career in matchmaking. Although it started as somewhat of a party trick, Bela’s ability to successfully match those around her eventually led to her passion. In 2009, she started the Smart Dating Academy, a coaching and consulting company that teaches people how to find the happiest and best loves of their lives. “[We] help people stop doing the same thing over and over again, which is picking partners that aren't good for them, and instead, start picking partners that are going to make them happy, and be a real partner in their life and make life easy and fun,” Bela says. Bela also discusses the current marriage rate in the U.S., which is https://www.wsj.com/articles/u-s-marriage-rate-plunges-to-lowest-level-on-record-11588132860 (the lowest level on record). She attributes this https://www.usnews.com/news/healthiest-communities/articles/2020-04-29/us-marriage-rate-drops-to-record-low (record low rate) to people waiting longer to get married. “I think now, with women being in school in record numbers, even outpacing men in schools and in the professional world, we're more equivalent in so many ways. So people want to put that education to good use, climb that ladder a bit, and marriage is something that people are choosing to do later,” she explains. Despite the low marriage rate, people are still choosing to “partner up.” After 12 years of business, Bela has not had a single divorce among her clients. Looking at childhood environments and individual desire, Bela has discovered a successful algorithm for matching people. Tune in to this episode of Divorce! Healthy with Ashley-Nicole Russell, Collaborative Attorney serving Beaufort, Raleigh, and Greenville, NC. 💡 Featured Guests 💡Name: Bela Gandhi What she does: Bela Gandhi is the founder of https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/ (Smart Dating Academy), a coaching and consulting company that teaches people how to find the happiest and best loves of their lives. Words of wisdom: “My mission is to put more love into this world.” Connect: https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/ (Website) | https://www.linkedin.com/in/bela-gandhi-64b88812 (LinkedIn) | https://www.instagram.com/smartdatingacademy/?hl=en (Instagram) 🗝️ Key Points 🗝️Top takeaways from this Divorce, Healthy! episode ★ Smart Dating Academy helps people find love and avoid making the same mistakes again. Dating can be difficult and isolating. Bela’s company helps determine clients’ true wants and needs, helping them avoid red flags and find lifelong partners. ★ Set yourself up for success. Seeking help from the Smart Dating Academy can prevent divorce later on, as it pairs people based on their upbringings and deepest needs among other points of interest. ★ Social expectations of marriage have changed but the desire for love remains. Now, more than ever, people are prioritizing themselves and putting marriage on the back burner. This has led to record low marriage rates but has not slowed down people’s desire to partner up and find love. ⚡ Episode Insights ⚡[02:19] Fix your picker: The tagline for Bela Gandhi’s Smart Dating Academy sums up the company’s mission, which helps people find the right kind of love for them. [03:45] Pandemic partnering: During the pandemic, Bela saw more people forming deep connections via video calls. Without the “lure of premature physicality,” she observes that new couples had more honest conversations. [05:16] Record-low marriage rates: The U.S. is seeing a record low in marriage rates, which Bela attributes to more equality between women and men. [11:02] A means of
44 minutes | Apr 30, 2021
Sole Custody is Outdated — How Shared Parenting is Going Mainstream
Divorce lawyers traditionally advised their clients to fight for sole custody of children, especially when their client was the mother. It’s time to put that tradition behind us. On this episode of Divorce, Healthy!, National Parents Organization (NPO) board members Matt Hale and Don Hubin, as well as family lawyer and children’s book author Kelly Chang Rickert, talk about the benefits of shared parenting. The NPO is responsible for issuing a https://www.sharedparenting.org/2014-shared-parenting-report (state-by-state report card) for the nation’s first comprehensive review of child custody statutes as they relate to shared parenting. When Matt Hale began the Kentucky chapter, the state had a low rating for child custody laws. But in 2017, Kentucky passed House Bill 492, the https://apps.legislature.ky.gov/law/statutes/statute.aspx?id=48321 (Equal Parenting Presumption During Temporary Orders). The next year, in 2018, it passed the https://apps.legislature.ky.gov/law/statutes/statute.aspx?id=48320 (Equal Parenting Presumption for Final Orders), which mandates that shared parenting is the gold standard for a child's best interest. Thanks to these efforts, the state now recognizes and celebrates https://andrewfhenderson.com/2019/05/30/kentucky-becomes-first-us-state-to-have-shared-parenting-day/ (Shared Parenting Day) each year. It was NPO President Don Hubin who advised Matt on his dealings with the Kentucky legislature. “NPO is child-focused and research-based. We're trying to improve the system. We're trying to reduce the contentiousness of divorce,” Don says. In fact, the organization has more than 40 years of research to support their argument for shared parenting. Kelly Chang Rickert also has years of research and experience in her wheelhouse as a family law expert. Her passion even inspired her to write a children’s book, “https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/two-adventures-with-mom-and-dad-kelly-chang-rickert/1137907252 (Two Adventures with Mom and Dad),” which encourages shared parenting. Tune in to this episode of Divorce! Healthy with Ashley-Nicole Russell, Collaborative Attorney serving Beaufort, Raleigh, and Greenville, NC, to hear about the importance of shared parenting. 💡 Featured Guests 💡Name: Matt Hale What he does: Matt is the founder of the Kentucky chapter of https://www.sharedparenting.org/ (National Parents Organization (NPO)). He spearheaded the state’s legislative rulings calling for shared parenting as the new gold standard. Words of wisdom: “I just want to help other families get shared parenting because it's good for parents, it's good for kids, and it's good for society.” Name: Don Hubin What he does: Don is the President of the https://www.sharedparenting.org/ (National Parents Organization (NPO)), which strives to protect every child’s right to the love and care of both parents after separation or divorce. Words of wisdom: “Competent, loving parents should not have to go through a court battle to continue to be fully involved in their children's lives.” Connect: https://www.linkedin.com/in/don-hubin-8646b414/ (LinkedIn) Name: Kelly Chang Rickert What she does: Kelly has been practicing law for over 20 years and is the founder of the https://www.purposedrivenlawyers.com/ (Law and Mediation Offices of Kelly Chang, APLC), a law firm dedicated to family law. She also wrote the children’s book, “https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/two-adventures-with-mom-and-dad-kelly-chang-rickert/1137907252 (Two Adventures with Mom and Dad),” to help explain divorce and shared parenting to kids. Words of wisdom: “If both parents are wanting custody, we should work out a parenting plan.” Connect: https://www.purposedrivenlawyers.com/team/kelly-chang-rickert/ (Website) | https://www.linkedin.com/in/lawyerkelly/ (LinkedIn) 🗝️ Key Points 🗝️Top takeaways from this Divorce, Healthy! episode ★ Legislation must change. The
34 minutes | Apr 26, 2021
Shared Parenting and Gender Equality with Emma Johnson
Society tells women that motherhood should be their primary source of fulfillment. This same pressure, however, is not put on men. Society pressures moms to live out this kid-focused lifestyle, deeming them lousy or lazy if they do not. Meanwhile, dads are simply let off the hook. In the same vein, women are advised to fight for full legal custody in divorce court, abiding by society’s expectations of what they should do. Emma Johnson, the blogger behind Wealthy Single Mommy, is here to fight that stigma and advocate for shared parenting. On this episode of Divorce, Healthy!, Emma discusses her research about https://www.wealthysinglemommy.com/wp-content/uploads/single_mom_income_time_FINAL.pdf (how time-sharing between separated parents impacts single mothers’ income). “Moms with 50/50 schedules are 300 times more likely to earn $100,000 a year — 300 times more likely to earn six figures than moms with 100% time with their kids,” Emma says. The results of her research upend previous notions of feminism, debunking the idea that moms having sole, full legal custody of children is the best outcome. Not only is it beneficial for women to have 50/50 custody, it is also in the best interests of children, making them feel more at ease, loved, and less anxious. As Emma says, “It signals to them that: my parents are equal, they both are equally committed, they equally love me, and they’re here.” Tune in to this episode of Divorce! Healthy with Ashley-Nicole Russell, Collaborative Divorce Attorney serving Beaufort, Raleigh, and Greenville, NC. 💡 Featured Guest 💡Name: Emma Johnson What she does: Emma is the blogger behind https://www.wealthysinglemommy.com/ (Wealthy Single Mommy), a site dedicated to helping millions of women build full, successful lives as single moms. As a best-selling author, journalist, and expert on single-parent topics, Emma has created an online community for single moms across the globe. Noteworthy: In February, Emma launched a White Paper based on the findings of the https://www.wealthysinglemommy.com/survey/ (Single Mom Income and Time-Sharing Survey), which polled 2,270 single mothers about their employment, income, time-sharing, and related feelings. Connect: https://www.wealthysinglemommy.com/about-emma/ (About) | https://www.linkedin.com/in/emmajohnson/ (LinkedIn) | https://www.instagram.com/thejohnsonemma/ (Instagram) | https://twitter.com/JohnsonEmma (Twitter) 🗝️ Key Points 🗝️Top takeaways from this Divorce, Healthy! episode ★ Don’t be afraid of 50/50 custody. Women are oftentimes pressured to fight for full legal custody of their children when filing for divorce. However, split custody agreements can lead to more favorable outcomes by giving women more time to devote to their careers, relationships, and own happiness. ★ There’s a real need for systemic cultural changes. Society tells women that motherhood is their ultimate source of fulfillment. This needs to change, and it can begin with women putting themselves first and not feeling guilty about shared legal custody. ★ Sharing legal custody benefits your kids’ mental health. It’s not only about improving single moms’ lifestyles — 50/50 custody agreements also benefit children. For a kid, seeing both parents equally committed to them establishes a sense of reassurance and reduces anxiety. ⚡ Episode Insights ⚡[04:31] Equitable time-sharing benefits single moms’ income: According to Emma’s research, moms with 50/50 custody schedules are 300X more likely to earn a salary of $100,000 than moms with full legal custody of their kids. [10:49] Society reinforces a double standard: Our culture shames women who do not spend a certain amount of time with their kids. They’re deemed lousy moms and lousy people — but these same pressures aren’t placed on men. [13:45] Custody split = empowerment for men: Splitting custody equally helps dads to maintain stronger,...
32 minutes | Apr 15, 2021
Busting Divorce Myths and Doing Divorce Differently with Dr. Elizabeth Cohen and Susan Guthrie
Divorce can feel like an isolating and lonely experience. Few people who go through it realize that it doesn’t have to be that way and that it can be an empowering process and a way to start a new more intentional life. Clinical psychologist Dr. Elizabeth Cohen and Attorney Susan Guthrie join the podcast to discuss the upcoming Doing Divorce Differently Summit, a virtual event to help people dealing with divorce view the experience as an opportunity. Like any traumatic experience, the right guidance and healing tools can help you make it possible — even probable — that you can come out the other side a better, stronger, and happier person. The event will provide attendees with life-changing advice and support for whether they are just starting their divorce journey or have already completed it. On this episode of Divorce, Healthy!, Dr. Cohen and Susan talk about how they help couples divorcing and how they aspire to end stigmas around divorce. Having endured the darkness of her own divorce, Dr. Cohen’s upcoming book, “https://drelizabethcohen.com/order (Light on the Other Side of Divorce),” is a healing program for those considering divorce, going through divorce, or even those who are on the other side of divorce legal proceedings. Susan was also inspired to enter into this line of work after navigating her own divorce experience. With more than 30 years of professional experience and national recognition for her legal and mediation expertise, Susan discusses restructuring the approach to court, as well as the benefits of online mediation (she’s been doing it virtually since before the pandemic). Tune in to this episode of Divorce! Healthy with Ashley-Nicole Russell, Collaborative Attorney serving Beaufort, Raleigh, and Greenville, NC to hear about the amazing work these women are doing to reshape the process and perception around divorce. Register for the https://hopin.com/events/doing-divorce-differently-seminar (Doing Divorce Differently Seminar). 💡 Featured Guests 💡Name: Dr. Elizabeth Cohen What she does: Dr. Cohen is a clinical psychologist and author of “https://drelizabethcohen.com/order (Light on the Other Side of Divorce),” whose personal journey through divorce inspired her to refocus her practice and skills to guide others through the life-altering experience of divorce. Words of wisdom: “We [must] bust the myth that divorce has to be a failure, or that divorce has to be painful and heartbreaking. It's actually an opportunity and a choice.” Connect: https://drelizabethcohen.com/ (Website) | https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabeth-cohen-715333135/ (LinkedIn) Name: Susan Guthrie What she does: Susan is nationally recognized as one of the top family law and mediation attorneys and has been helping people navigate divorce for more than 30 years. Susan also hosts an inspiring podcast, https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/ (The Divorce and Beyond Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq.) Words of wisdom: “Empowerment starts with you. Understand there's nothing different about your divorce, just as you've made other choices in your life, you have every right to make your decisions and choices in your divorce.” Connect: https://divorceinabetterway.com/ (Website) | https://www.linkedin.com/in/susaneguthrie/ (LinkedIn) 🗝️ Key Points 🗝️Top takeaways from this Divorce, Healthy! episode ★ We’re the only people we can control. Rather than thinking about divorce as a blame-game, or as a problem, refocus on what you want for yourself and out of this divorce process to truly empower yourself. ★ It is possible to do divorce differently. Divorce doesn’t have to be the end of your life and it doesn’t have to be a high-conflict situation. The https://doingdivorcedifferently.com/ (Doing Divorce
23 minutes | Mar 31, 2021
Divorce Rehab with Wendy Sterling: How to Best Deal with Divorce Conflict at Home and at Work.
When Wendy Sterling’s 16-year marriage was coming to an end, she struggled to wrap her mind around it. She had lost herself in her marriage. She had lost her voice, her independence, and her identity. Not only was the life she had planned falling apart, but so was the image of herself that she had carefully created. Yet in spite of her heartbreak and turmoil, Wendy realized her divorce was a chance at a fresh start. “My divorce enabled me to finally see that it was time for me to start taking charge of my own life, to start finding myself again. And it was an opportunity for me to really start over,” Wendy says. On this episode of Divorce, Healthy!, Wendy discusses her own healing process and The Divorce Rehab™ program, which offers clients both one-on-one coaching and group programs. “Like many others, I was the first of all of my friends [to get divorced]. I didn't have any support at the time. And so one of the big things that was a priority for me was really getting a community together of like-minded women who can rely on one another,” Wendy says. Though no one intends for it to happen, divorce is a reality. Wendy sees to it that healing is possible in spite of it all. Tune in to this episode of Divorce! Healthy with Ashley-Nicole Russell, Collaborative Attorney serving Beaufort, Raleigh, and Greenville, NC. 💡 Featured Guest 💡Name: Wendy Sterling What she does: Wendy is divorce coach, author, speaker, and host of https://www.wendysterling.net/blog (The Divorced Woman's Guide podcast). She is also the mother of two boys and has firsthand experience about the nonlinear post-divorce healing process. Words of wisdom: “My mission is really to change the conversation of divorce — to change the stigma to be one of power, instead of one of shame.” Connect: https://www.wendysterling.net (Website) | https://www.linkedin.com/in/wendy-sterling-cpcc-acc-cds%C2%AE-34b1b95/ (LinkedIn) | https://www.instagram.com/divorcerehabwithwendy/?hl=en (Instagram) 🗝️ Key Points 🗝️Top takeaways from this Divorce, Healthy! episode ★ Rethink divorce as a new beginning. Divorce is often stigmatized as a purely negative thing — and a sign of failure. Rethinking it and what it means to have a fresh start can help the healing process. ★ Rediscover yourself after divorce. Divorce presents an opportunity to invest in your personal identity. Oftentimes, people get lost in their marriages, dependent on the other person. Divorce can reposition you to find yourself anew. ★ Find your community. According to Wendy, having a strong sense of community, with people who understand you and advocate for you, is crucial to the healing process. ⚡ Episode Insights ⚡[02:21] Divorce is a fresh start: Divorce can grant people an opportunity to start over and rediscover themselves. [03:52] How The Divorce Rehab™ program helps: This five-step proprietary program invites divorcees to see their divorce as an empowering experience to find their identity and create a new life from a confident place. [05:12] The conversation around divorce needs to be destigmatized: Society shames divorcees as failures, when really, they should be applauded for their courage to pursue a better life. [09:13] Healing is a collaborative process: It’s important to surround yourself with a strong community of people who understand and support you. This applies to not only the physical environment, but one’s emotional and mental environments as well. [13:40] Keeping things bottled up only holds you back: When you don’t seek help or community, you’re putting your mental and physical health at risk as well as your job and income — all of the things that need you to be operating at your best. [19:10] Retrain your mind: Divorce necessitates retraining your brain. You have to realize everything you had dreamt of or planned is going to look different now. ...
20 minutes | Jan 25, 2021
How to Organize Your Finances in Divorce and Reduce Conflict
Many people believe divorce will inevitably be messy and hostile before even starting the process. However, that doesn’t have to be the case. According to Carl Roberts — the Founder and CEO of https://splitsmart.com/ (SplitSmart), a website that helps couples organize finances for divorce — transparency and organization are essential for preventing an emotionally distraught and lengthy divorce process. On this episode of Divorce, Healthy!, Carl talks about his web tool and how it has helped couples approach divorce in a more healthy and transparent way. The tool helps couples to DIY their financial decisions through easy-to-use online documentation before involving mediators or attorneys. This can help each party see the big picture and realize that they probably agree on more than they think. “What I found was that the key to having a healthy, low-cost divorce is organization — on the money side or on the kid side,” Carl says, having gone through a difficult divorce himself. “It’s all about organization. Once you get organized, then you can build a plan, and you can be more informed with your decisions. You gotta do it one way or another — whether or not you do it for yourself or you pay a lawyer, you gotta do it.” 💡 Featured Guest 💡Name: Carl Roberts What he does: Carl is the founder and CEO of https://splitsmart.com/ (SplitSmart), a website that helps couples manage the financial and emotional aspects of divorce. Words of wisdom: “Transparency is key to building trust in the [divorce] process. And trust is critical to being able to reach a healthy, amicable resolution.” Connect: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carltroberts/ (LinkedIn) | https://splitsmart.com/blog/ (Blog) 🗝️ Key Points 🗝️Top takeaways from this Divorce, Healthy! episode ★ Organization is the key. Whether it’s for the kids or the financial decisions, being organized helps you move through the divorce process with a clear head and better decision-making. ★ DIY your divorce. One of the first things that might come to mind when considering divorce is the exorbitant cost of the process. Taking care of the initial financial organization by yourself is one way to cut costs before involving the lawyers. ★ Transparency separates data from emotion. Getting all financial details down on paper creates transparency, which helps prevent emotional fallout in the long run. ★ Think of life after divorce in positive terms. Don’t think of separation as a process with only negative outcomes. Instead consider the possibility that life after divorce may improve — this mindset will help you make it happen. ⚡ Episode Insights ⚡[07:34] Save on stress: SplitSmart allows you to organize your incomes, assets and liabilities by uploading documents to electronic folders to share with your ex-partner. [08:14] Advance prep: Preparing the marital worksheet ahead of time helps you organize assets and liabilities by line item so that you can more efficiently and transparently negotiate. [09:08] Transparency leads to trust: The divorce process carries the weight of emotions and stress, but when the process is made transparent, it can help build trust between the parties involved. [09:39] Seek advice when necessary: Although a tool like SplitSmart can help, it’s important to remember that you can and should ask for guidance and support when you don’t understand something. [12:33] Let the professionals deal with the big stuff: A DIY divorce approach doesn’t have to deal with the big stuff like retirement funds and cars. [15:05] Give yourself peace of mind: Transparent organization will foster a better state of mind, especially at the beginning of the divorce process. Getting through the divorce process successfully requires being informed and understanding that you and your ex-partner probably agree on more than you think. Connect with ANR...
31 minutes | Dec 29, 2020
Tips To Have an Amazing Divorce With Author Karen Millon
People are shocked when they find out Karen Millon still regularly spends time with her ex-husband — even with her new husband. It just doesn’t quite fit the usual expectations of divorce, as we so often imagine animosity between former partners. Somehow, Karen managed to come out the other side with a healthy outlook on divorce and a good relationship with her ex. She even wrote a book about it, titled “My Amazing Divorce.” On this episode of Divorce, Healthy!, host Ashley-Nicole Russell talks to Karen about how she made it happen. According to Karen, she made sure to give not only herself but her partner and especially her kids time to process the change and reach a level of acceptance. What largely made this possible was not putting her needs first. Instead, Karen sought out therapy and resources to emotionally handle everything, and ensured her kids got what they needed from both mom and dad. Karen also adds, “What I think made it healthy was a focus on healing and honoring the grieving process.” This concept of healing is extremely important to Karen. In fact, it’s the main focus of her podcast, https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/healin-with-karen-millon/id1507209764 (Healin), which aims to help inspire others start their own healing journey. “Being aware of your emotions and your triggers and having someone to cry with, you take a load off your kids because they're not your therapists, they're not your friends,” says Karen. “You have to build safety and security with them.” 💡 Featured Guest 💡Name: Karen Millon What she does: Karen is a businesswoman, the author of “My Amazing Divorce” and host of the podcast, Healin, which provides resources for people seeking healing and wellness inspiration. Words of wisdom: “When you understand that you are a soul living a human experience, whether you're Christian or Buddhist or Hindu, and that you didn't come to this world to fight and argue and be bitter but to deal with what life brings you with grace, I think that helped.” Connect: http://healin.net/ (Website) | https://www.instagram.com/healinwithkaren/ (Instagram) 🗝️ Key Points 🗝️Top takeaways from this Divorce, Healthy! episode ★ Focus on healing. Honoring the grieving process was a big part of what made her divorce healthy, says Karen. This means giving yourself, your ex and your children the time necessary to be sad and work through negative emotions to reach acceptance. ★ You don’t have to rely on your divorce lawyer. Your divorce lawyer will have your best interests in mind and no one else’s, but that’s not necessarily good for processing the situation. It could even lead to animosity and difficult situations for your ex-partner and children. ★ Move away from anger. One turning point for Karen in processing her divorce, and something she advises, is to get out of the anger stage of grieving. She says that deciding not to fight anymore — adopting a mindset of “radical acceptance” — can help you reclaim your power. ## ⚡ Episode Insights ⚡[14:47] Make your divorce kid-friendly: As a child of divorce, Karen says she could empathize with her kids while getting divorced from their dad. As a result, she tried to make the process as much about them as possible and knew that despite the separation, they would still want to see their parents together and enjoying each other’s company. [15:18] Have a clear vision: Because going through such a big change might make some people lose sight of what matters, Karen believes it’s important to maintain a vision throughout the process. [15:33] Seek out spiritual resources: Throughout her divorce and its accompanying therapy, Karen found books, podcasts and various resources that spoke to her and helped her see the big picture while stuck in the immediate chaos. For her, one of these resources was the book https://chopra.com/articles/the-7-spiritual-laws-of-success...
28 minutes | Dec 15, 2020
A Divorced Parent’s Guide to the Holidays With Dr. Elizabeth Cohen
The holidays are upon us accompanied by all the expectations of creating picture-perfect, festive memories for you and your family. For divorced parents, however, this can be a nightmare of navigating what your kids want, what relatives want and what you want. Forget all of that, says Dr. Elizabeth Cohen, a clinical psychologist who specializes in helping parents discover a positive approach to divorce. “Give yourself so much grace and opportunity to learn. If this holiday season, something doesn't work, then you learn for next time what you want to do,” she says. “The holidays come every year.” On this episode of Divorce, Healthy!, Elizabeth discusses the upcoming holiday dread for divorcees with host Ashley-Nicole Russell. The important thing, Dr. Cohen says, is that parents focus on creating safe and connected time with their kids, no matter what that might look like. There’s no need to live up to unrealistic expectations. If you feel better about your life after divorce, you will be happier and calmer around the holidays as well, and your kids will feel happier and calmer. “There are invisible gifts that you are giving your child by ending a relationship that's not working for you,” she says. 💡 Featured Guest 💡Name: Dr. Elizabeth Cohen What she does: Dr. Cohen is a clinical psychologist based in New York City with a background in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and a focus on helping parents navigate divorce positively. Words of wisdom: “I was put here on this earth to help women and men move through divorce and break the stigma of divorce as being a failure and see it as an amazing golden opportunity.” Connect: https://drelizabethcohen.com/ (Website) | https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcedoctor/ (Instagram) 🗝️ Key Points 🗝️Top takeaways from this Divorce, Healthy! episode ★ Think positive thoughts. You can shift your thinking on divorce — the way we have been trained to think about divorce doesn’t have to be the way you approach it going forward. ★ Ignore societal interpretations. The culture surrounding divorce has long portrayed it as something that inevitably makes your life worse. This is false! Divorce will likely lead to better things, including better relationships and friendships. ★ It’s about the kids. Remember it’s about your kids, not you. The number one thing you have to do is make them feel safe and connected and sometimes the way they feel safe and connected is not how you feel safe and connected. ★ The Hallmark holiday mirage. The pressure of the holidays can be particularly overwhelming for a divorced parent. It’s important to leave behind those picture-perfect expectations to relieve some pressure from you and your kids — especially this year. ⚡ Episode Insights ⚡[5:51] Give unto yourself what you give unto your child: As a parent, you want to empower your kids to make decisions that feel true to them. You should be doing the same for yourself. [7:00] Collaborative law is good for you: Your nervous system will benefit from collaborative law, Dr. Cohen explains. Keeping litigation out of your divorce is key. It can be triggering and thus a burden on your mental health. [14:01] Take the hit: At the holidays, your kids should not be carted around from house to house, party to party, pleasing everyone who wants to be with them. You might have to take a few hits from angry relatives, but your kids will feel safer and happier if the holidays don’t involve this musical chairs of get-togethers. [16:46] Let your child choose what you do: Research shows that five minutes a day of child-directed play can be incredibly healing, says Dr. Cohen. This means letting them choose the activity. It creates a feeling of bonding and intimacy and can be a good holiday memory. Remember what your child likes and how it might differ if you have more than one. [19:54] Preparation is key: Our nervous system...
14 minutes | Dec 4, 2020
Tips for a Joyful and Positive Holiday Season During Your Divorce
What we’ve been waiting for is finally here! We welcome you to Season 2 of Divorce, Healthy! Given the spirit of the holidays, and Christmas right around the corner, our host, Ashley-Nicole sincerely appreciates everyone that has come on this journey with her and the amazing connections made over the first season of the podcast. On this episode of Divorce, Healthy! Ashley-Nicole welcomes you to embrace positivity with her and reveals how it is not only possible to move on after divorce, but to live a life of joy and purpose too. There is a new world when it comes to divorce, a world where people can solve their conflicts, feel peace, and feel comfort. The next phase of your life can be truly amazing if you let it be. Ashley-Nicole shares a few insights on how children handle things versus how parents handle them. Remember, you are modeling behavior for your children, so be mindful of how you’re approaching conflict resolution. Even if you don’t have Christmas day this year, make the holidays wonderful for your children! (3:18) They will remember this experience and it will embed positive and joyful memories in them. Extreme negativity works the same way, so be mindful not to embed those negative memories. (4:43) A few tips to make the holiday season into a positive and joyful experience for your family:1. Set a goal for how you want the holiday season to go. Are you drinking hot a chocolate in front of the fireplace? Are you ice skating? Do you go and get your Christmas tree together with your child? Keep that goal in mind and build a positive experience around it. (7:12) 2. Maintain positivity. Make sure that whenever you're in the environment of your kids that you’re remaining positive. You can bet that getting angry about the price of the Christmas tree can sour that experience for your children. Stay positive and reframe your thoughts this holiday season. (7:48) 3. Be a model for your children. In every action, you are modeling behavior for your children, so be mindful of how you’re approaching conflict resolution. (8:24) 4. Be introspective. Think about yourself, think about the scars you have from your holidays or the wonderful memories that you have from your holidays. And either recreate those wonderful memories or think about how you can rewrite it into a better way. (9:35) If this was your first episode of Divorce, Healthy, we encourage you to circle back to where it all started in https://player.captivate.fm/episode/51680d06-5600-4fd8-abe3-8ce66769f6b9/ (Season One)! For more information on Ashley-Nicole Russell, and her book The Cure for Divorce Culture, head on over to https://anrlaw.com/book/ (anrlaw.com) To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to http://www.anrlaw.com (www.anrlaw.com). You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy!
17 minutes | Oct 19, 2020
The Harmful Effects of Litigated Divorce on Children, with Command the Courtroom creator Wendy Hernandez
If you’re a child of divorce or if you’re a parent facing separation and divorce, then you’re intimately familiar with just how broken, expensive, exhausting, and toxic for our children the current culture of divorce in the United States is. Fortunately, alternatives exist, and experts are ready and willing to help you navigate divorce and find your best path forward. On this episode of Divorce, Healthy!, attorney and author Ashley-Nicole Russell, of https://anrlaw.com/ (ANR Law), welcomes Wendy Hernandez, a family law attorney and host of https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3v2tvsfJxXJSVs7GZedIeg (Command the Courtroom) on YouTube. They offer timely insight and guidance on moving forward with your life after divorce. Wendy explores her transition into family law after beginning her career as a criminal defense attorney. Wendy found that a number of her criminal defense clients were also facing stressful domestic and family law issues. Her daughter was also a motivating factor in choosing to pivot to a career helping children and families. Wendy understands how devastating it can be to a child for their parent to lose sight of their interests in the whirlwind of divorce, focusing only on the parent’s conflict with the spouse. Quoting a friend, Wendy says, “[i] t’s not divorce that messes kids up, it’s the conflict between the parents.” (2:35) Wendy also has practical advice on how to begin the divorce process with the right attitude, “I think that generally speaking people should get really clear on what it is that they want first of all in their life and then funnel it down to what do I want out of this divorce situation? Get clear on what your intentions are.” (13:48) Highlights from the episode: The broken system (02:35) What happens to the kids and how it affects their lives (04:00) Definition of “healthy divorce” (08:01) Modeling Healthy conflict (09:45) Opportunities for a new beginning (11:18) Collaborative divorce (11:51) Watch Wendy Hernandez’ YouTube channel, https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3v2tvsfJxXJSVs7GZedIeg (Command the Courtroom), with live streams every Monday at 6:30 p.m. You can also visit her at https://www.commandthecourtroom.com/ (CommandTheCourtroom.com). Did you like this interview with Wendy Hernandez? Check out https://player.captivate.fm/episode/d8abc126-a326-4606-9fc9-fb2ff23fc2be (Conscious Coparenting and the Positive Life After Divorce With Jennifer Butler Coaching). To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to http://www.anrlaw.com (www.anrlaw.com). You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy!
24 minutes | Oct 11, 2020
Giving Up the Guilt with Michelle Dempsey-Multack, Certified Divorce Specialist and Coach Extraordinaire!
Moving on after divorce is easier said than done. Loneliness, isolation, shame, and guilt are all commonplace after separation and divorce. Often, people going through separation feel like they won’t ever be able to get back on their feet and may even worry that they will never find love again. If these feelings sound familiar, this is the episode for you. On this episode of Divorce, Healthy!, attorney and author Ashley-Nicole Russell welcomes Michelle Dempsey-Multack, Certified Divorce Specialists and host of the https://momsmovingon.com/ (Moms Moving On Podcast), to discuss her system for overcoming the emotional complexities that accompany divorce and how women can come out stronger on the other side. Michelle reveals how she uses what she learned during her own divorce to help other women overcome their suffering and thrive. Ashley-Nicole and Michelle open up about their respective divorces and how the process was ultimately a teaching experience. “I truly feel I had to be married to him for all of these unresolved demons and issues and traumas from my past to surface once and for all so that I could confront them. Because I had been ignoring them and living in denial for a really long time.” (8:15) Michelle also reveals how she discovered that she suffered from an anxious attachment style because of her parents’ divorce and how this affected her relationships and divorce. Today, both Ashley-Nicole and Michelle are in loving and healthy relationships with partners that understand the struggle they’ve experienced. Michelle advises acknowledging to yourself that the situation will be challenging, “you know it’s going to be hard. It’s an unfortunate situation that’s happened, but it is also an opportunity to move forward in a way that works best for you, to put your best foot forward, to honor what you did wrong, and vow to not do it again. So if you’re willing to do the hard work, you’re going to get to a good place. Nothing good comes easy. Don’t expect it to be easy. And if you feel like it’s easier than you expect it, then good for you, then you’re in a good place.” (17:56) For more information on Michelle Dempsey-Multack’s podcast, visit https://momsmovingon.com/ (MomsMovingOn.com). You can also follow her on http://instagram.com/themichelledempsey (Instagram) and https://www.facebook.com/themichelledempsey/ (Facebook) @themichelledempsey. Like this interview with Michelle Dempsey? Check out https://player.captivate.fm/episode/1cdcb828-8738-4e98-bcf1-d58b5806d828 (The Myth is Busted, Divorce Doesn’t Have to be Horrible. With co-parents and co-authors of Our Happy Divorce, Ben Heldfond and Nikki DeBartolo). To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to http://www.anrlaw.com (www.anrlaw.com). You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy!
47 minutes | Sep 14, 2020
The Myth is Busted, Divorce Doesn’t Have to be Horrible. With co-parents and co-authors of Our Happy Divorce, Ben Heldfond and Nikki DeBartolo
Divorce has long had a bad reputation. It is often incredibly stressful for the couple and leaves broken families in its path. Have you ever wondered, “does it really have to be this way?” Are there people out there who have successfully dissolved their marriages in a peaceful and healthy way? Are there children who don’t feel like their lives have been torn apart by their parents’ divorce? The answer is yes. Enter Benjamin Heldfond and Nikki DeBartolo, authors of https://ourhappydivorce.com/ (Our Happy Divorce), and today’s guests on this episode of Divorce, Healthy! When Ben and Nikki got divorced 13 years ago, there were far fewer resources available for collaborative processes and co-parenting. Luckily, they were both able to successfully navigate the divorce process and make decisions that have resonated positively in their lives and the lives of their children. Benjamin stresses the importance of keeping your child’s best interest at heart. With painful memories of his own parents’ divorce, Ben knew he didn’t want to put his child through the same hardship. Conversely, Nikki's parents remain married after 52 years, and she claims this was the driving force for making things work throughout the divorce process. (5:26) At first, Ben did what most people do and hired an attorney. He soon realized his attorney may be more interested in a fight than in doing what was best for Ben and his family. Instead of pursuing a fight, Ben decided to step away from everything for a while. After taking time to weigh his options, he ultimately decided to team up with Nikki to tackle the problem together. “She was on my team and I was on her team. So, if you want to talk about collaborative, that's the ideal behind it. But we truly were on each other's team… as team captains.” (19:22) Ben and Nikki admit that there is no easy way out of a divorce; there will always be fights, arguments, anger, etc. However, there are ample resources for people going through separation and divorce to consider. One resource the couple endorse is the https://www.fayr.com/app (App Fayr), developed by Micheal Daniels, who joins the conversation at 30:12. “Fayr is really just my sincere effort in trying to…communicate on the core issues, the things that need to be communicated on and try to clear up some of the misunderstandings and disagreement that oftentimes escalate into a costly court motion. And it has an emotional cost too.” (30:54) As Ashley-Nicole mentions in prior episodes, the divorce industry is a broken one, and only some people benefit from it. Echoing her thoughts, Michael says “[Divorce] is such a broken system… everybody talks about the broken system. The truth is the system is working just fine for those who are financially benefiting from it.”(38:37) This is why “we're all here to try to scream and say, you do not have to follow the norm just because it's the norm,” says Ashley-Nicole. (45:52) For more information on Benjamin and Nikki’s book Our Happy Divorce, visit https://ourhappydivorce.com/ (ourhappydivorce.com). To download the Fayr App visit https://www.fayr.com/app (fayr.com/app) Like this interview with Benjamin Heldfond and Nikki DeBartolo? Check out https://player.captivate.fm/episode/1ca7f163-696c-4181-b551-b4ca3ecb57ce (How to Move Forward After Divorce, With Divorce Attorney & “Better Apart” Author, Gabrielle Hartley). To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to http://www.anrlaw.com (www.anrlaw.com). You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy!
43 minutes | Sep 8, 2020
How to Move Forward After Divorce, With Divorce Attorney & “Better Apart” Author, Gabrielle Hartley
If you’re going through a divorce or have recently been through one, you’ve probably experienced stressful emotions and have felt lonely in the process. Maybe you’ve seen your kids affected or are afraid they will be negatively impacted in the future. Divorce has a bad reputation in the United States, as we’re inundated on a daily basis with the spectacle of divorces gone wrong. Here, on Divorce, Healthy!, Ashley-Nicole Russell wants to turn that reputation on its head. Welcome back to Divorce, Healthy! In this episode, our host is accompanied by Divorce Attorney and “Better Apart” author, Gabrielle Hartley. Gabrielle is a divorce mediator and lawyer who practices in New York and Massachusetts. In her book, Hartley provides readers with the five keys on how to move forward after divorce. 7:28 Both Gabrielle and Ashley-Nicole have had experiences with either being divorced or having divorced parents. They know first-hand the tremendous consequences divorce can have on you, your children, and your family. They stress the importance of being true to your own path during your divorce. It’s not necessary to follow in the footsteps of others, even best friends or family members. “If you're getting divorced and your best friend had to hire private investigator, it doesn't mean you need a private investigator (by the way, nobody needs a private investigator, but I mean for divorces!)” 14:08 They also address how negatively divorce can impact your children. It’s vital to allow your children, “especially the younger children…to have their childhoods.” 17:04 Gabrielle shares with us how her mother said to her, “Dad and I have grown up problems, and you're a child and you need to worry about being a kid and we need to worry about our problems.” She points to that conversation as helping her navigate the emotional turmoil of her parents divorce. 17:21 Another key point they discuss is the internal struggle you may encounter during divorce. You need to overcome divorce; look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself who you are, where you are headed, how much are you planning on fighting unnecessarily? “You may get the windfall, but what is the win? Who are you?... Even if you win, sometimes you really lost… if you got that down and dirty, is that the you you want to look back on?” 29:13 For more information on Gabrielle Hartley and her Better Apart™ program, visit https://gabriellehartley.com/ (gabriellehartley.com). Purchase Gabrielle’s book https://www.amazon.com/Better-Apart-Radically-Positive-Separate-ebook/dp/B0728MY47W (Better Apart). Like this interview with Gabrielle Hartley? We think you’ll appreciate https://player.captivate.fm/episode/fac4b290-8f80-49b4-83a1-041801d4c4b6 (A Millennial's Perspective On Marriage & Divorce with TV Personality Aaron Deane). To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to http://www.anrlaw.com (www.anrlaw.com). You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy!
34 minutes | Jul 31, 2020
Conscious Coparenting and the Positive Life After Divorce With Jennifer Butler Coaching
Life after divorce can be challenging. After grueling court proceedings and litigation, ex-partners—particularly women—may feel like it’s the end of life as they know it. There’s a lot to process and work through, with many left feeling hopeless and victimized years later. While this time is indeed one when you’re probably the most vulnerable, raw, and emotional, it can still be the biggest opportunity to finally discover who you truly are. And, all it takes it to change your perspective and make a choice. In this episode of Divorce, Healthy! attorney and author Ashley-Nicole Russell, of https://anrlaw.com/ (ANR Law), is joined by love and transformation coach https://www.jennjoycoaching.com/ (Jennifer Butler) to discuss conscious uncoupling and how women can get back on their feet after divorce. Jennifer reveals what conscious uncoupling is and what the process entails, not just for women going through a divorce, but for those who are still stuck in their post-divorce environment. It’s all about taking yourself out of a victimhood mentality and looking at things from the self as the source. Although difficult, the process also allows you to lean into grief and all the other emotions you’re feeling. Jennifer stresses, the way out of anything is to walk straight into it, and allow yourself to come out the other side free and at peace. They also encourage using this time to move forward and level up – even taking baby steps is better than nothing. Ask yourself, what are you turning this grief into? Don’t allow time to have its way with you, letting negativity to calcify inside your body. Jennifer also emphasizes the importance of protecting your space, being mindful of the energy you’re allowing to enter. Consider finding or forming a supportive group as you go through the process and be open and available for the things in life that will serve you. For Jennifer and Ashley-Nicole, how you do one thing is how you do everything – and this also applies to divorce. The way you’re handling this stage of your life can influence your kids in a major way. So, take a look at the choices you’re making and determine whether you’re growing, evolving, and expanding because of these. Show your children that you can still be the best version of yourself, even if you’re going through something as awful as divorce. Links mentioned in the episodehttps://www.jennjoycoaching.com/ (Jennifer Butler’s Official Website) https://www.instagram.com/jennjoycoaching/ (Jennifer Butler’s Instagram) https://www.jennjoycoaching.com/roadmap (Roadmap to Love Checklist) https://www.facebook.com/groups/1664727873806144 (Breakup to Breakthrough Facebook group) To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to http://www.anrlaw.com (www.anrlaw.com). You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy!
38 minutes | Jul 28, 2020
A Millennial's Perspective On Marriage & Divorce with TV Personality Aaron Deane
There are harrowing statistics that reflect the current culture of divorce in America and its negative effects on the population. For perspective, 87% of children involved in school shootings come from child custody battles. In a marriage where both spouses are products of divorce, their chances of the marriage ending in divorce are 200% greater than the general population. Divorce culture is toxic and chaotic and has profound consequences on the children involved—consequences that are likely to impact them for the rest of their lives. In this episode of Divorce, Healthy! https://www.wnct.com/author/aaron-deane/ (WNCT news anchor and TV personality Aaron Deane) joins attorney and author Ashley-Nicole Russell, of https://anrlaw.com/ (ANR Law) to discuss his experiences as a child of divorce, offering a millennial’s perspective. Aaron highlights the effect of a custody ruling that afforded one parent primary custody of the children. Such court designations drive secondary parents to internalize a diminished sense of family responsibility– leading to increased rates of absentee parents. Aaron also shares how people of his generation view relationships and marriage, and how the divorce culture has heavily influenced these perspectives. Many choose to avoid marriage altogether, with weddings and children viewed not only as risky, but as massive financial and emotional investments. An unspoken pressure also exists to make marriages work because turning to the court system for dissolution and resolution is traumatic and expensive. After getting a front row seat to the catastrophic divorce culture of the last generation, who can blame them? For Aaron and Ashley-Nicole, it’s important to have a complete understanding of yourself so you can make the right decision – even if that means ending your marriage. And, although the situation isn’t ideal, you can employ strategies to reduce stress and avoid conflict, leading to a better resolution for you and your family. Remember, ever if you’re a child of divorce, you have the power to break the cycle and avoid becoming a discouraging statistic. Links mentioned in the episodehttps://twitter.com/tv_deane (Aaron Deane’s Twitter account) https://instagram.com/tv_deane (Aaron Deane’s Instagram account) To inquire about speaking engagements, purchase your copy of Ashley-Nicole’s book “The Cure for Divorce Culture,” or to schedule your private orientation meeting, head to http://www.anrlaw.com (www.anrlaw.com). You can also find us on social media @ANRLaw. Find a better way forward, right here, on Divorce, Healthy!
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