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101 Episodes

74 minutes | 9 days ago
Episode 53 – Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue
Did you want to go back to the wonder and magic of Neverland? TOO BAD! Important questions: When is Tinkerbell going to get to drive a car? Shouldn’t that guy have a moustache? Is Cheese getting to old for this? Keep an ear out for another Tinkerbell movie that fails to have a coherent moral. Our theme music is
65 minutes | 2 months ago
Episode 52 – Atlantis: Milo’s Return
Nothing says “we created a wondrous magical country” like “let’s immediately leave.” Important questions: Why is Mole the hero of this movie? Is Kida the villain of this movie!? Is Sweet even in this movie!?!? Keep an ear out for World War I, just around the corner. Our theme music is
87 minutes | 3 months ago
Episode 51 – Atlantis: The Lost Empire
Back into celebrating imperialism and white-saviorism! Good going, Disney. Important questions: What other movies does this movie want to be? How could Dr. Sweet have been a better character? How did movies like this kill Disney’s 2D animation? Keep an ear out for the removal of TWENTY FULL MINUTES about the fall of American animation. Thanks to Lee Rosevere for
88 minutes | 4 months ago
Episode 50 – Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
So, you all heard the content warning, right? Because YEESH. Important questions: Why are some women not white and conventionally attractive? Why does this movie ask that question? Holy shit. Keep an ear out for us talking about anything other than this movie, because it was so deeply miserable to contemplate. Thanks to Lee Rosevere for
104 minutes | 5 months ago
Episode 49 – Van Helsing
In the dark, gritty world of early oughts cgi, one man make a brief, valiant attempt to do something with the Universal movie monsters. Important questions: Are there kinds of active besides “stoic” and “over the top? No. Why is Anna so bad at killing monsters? How many people get roofied in this movie? Keep an ear out for the “shocking twist” that is the Angel Gabriel reveal. Our theme music is
99 minutes | 6 months ago
Episode 48 – Black Panther
All right, I’ll just say it: I’m not proud of how long it took to edit this. Important questions: What’s the importance of a black superhero? What does this movie take from other movies, and does it improve those themes? Is everyone okay this year? Keep an ear out for Andy and Tony believing that this one won’t take almost two months to release. Our theme music is
76 minutes | 10 months ago
Episode 47 – Tarzan & Jane
The next series we do, there will be NO talk of imperialism! Important questions: What century is this? Why was this episode such a misery to record? What in the everloving Hell is wrong with Tarzan’s feet? Keep an ear out for… man, I dunno. A better movie, hopefully. Our theme music is
84 minutes | 10 months ago
Episode 46 – Tarzan
I’d like to apologize for being almost comically unable to do actual work for the better part of a month, but here’s the episode — Tony Important questions: Is Phil Collins a good performer? What is the theme of this movie? Who’s Clayton? Keep an ear out for questions of racism and feminism that are very on brand for us at this point. Our theme music is
73 minutes | a year ago
Episode 45 – Belle’s Magical World
Maybe, during this time of isolation and fear, you’d like to join us in revisiting a simpler world. One that, admittedly, ALSO doesn’t make sense. Important questions: Will we talk for another four hours about this curse? Why does the Beast suck now? How many shorts are in this movie? Keep an ear out for random, surprisingly clear birdsongs from outside Tony’s window. Our theme music is
77 minutes | a year ago
Episode 44 -The Little Mermaid: Ariel’s Beginning
This is only like the second trilogy we’ve every done, but trilogies hurt. Important questions: What is Floubder’s characterization? Should Ariel run away from home? What are mermaid sisters like? Keep an ear out for a three minute discussion about electric eels. Our theme music is
75 minutes | a year ago
Episode 43 – The Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea
Time to get back to our roots: watching movies that are exactly like other movies, but worse. Important questions: Why is everyone making poor decisions? How can a fish go bald? Who has become the biggest sitcom dad? Keep an ear out for Tony constantly questioning Ariel’s decision making skills and Andy describing the plot of “Magic Kid,” or “Little Ninja Dragon.” Our theme music is
80 minutes | a year ago
Episode 42 – The Little Mermaid
We’re finally doing it! We get to find out what makes a mermaid tick, explore the nineties Disney renaissance, and talk about feminism! It’s very us. Important questions: What did Howard Ashman do for this movie? Who is the scariest Disney dad? How badly does everyone want Eric to get married? Keep an ear out for Andy derailing us to talk about Ashman again, like over and over. Our theme music is
65 minutes | a year ago
Episode 41 – Tangled: Before Ever After
Our new season continues! Life’s gonna be like strawberry sherbet. Important questions: Can a bad movie be a good pilot? How much cuter did Pascal get? What is gained and lost in a shift to classical animation? Keep an ear out for Andy being mad that Eugene is shoved to the side, and Tony analyzing frying pan attacks. Our theme music is
105 minutes | a year ago
Episode 40 – Tangled
New year, new season, new format! Let’s talk about hair. Important questions: What makes Tangled feel like a classicly animated film? Why is Mother Gothel such a good abuser? Would Pascal Kill? Keep an ear out for Andy making the most of an opportunity to talk about one of his favorite movies, while Tony talks about the tv series. Our theme music is
51 minutes | a year ago
DVD Extras Episode 50 – More of a Feeling than a Flavor
One last rambling, low energy podcast episode before the year ends! Why not? Important questions: What are the worst Christmas songs? What are the best Christmas movies? Why can we never stay on topic? Keep an ear out for Andy being a Grinch and Tony editing out beeps. Even though we thanked Lee Rosevere for Planet E, our music this time is actually
142 minutes | a year ago
Episode 39 – The Swan Princess: A Royal Family Tale & Princess Tomorrow, Pirate Today
Oh, yes. It’s happening. Our blood feud with Richard Rich continues. Important questions: Is Odette a lesbian? Are Odette and Derek bad parents? How and why do these movies keep getting made!?!? Keep an ear out for Tony fawning over David Lodge and Andy tearing the facade off this obvious tax scam. Our theme music is
119 minutes | a year ago
Episode 38 – The Muppet Movie & The Great Muppet Caper
Time to find that rainbow connection! Join us as we chase our dreams of stardom with some of the most lovable and relatable characters in the western canon. Important questions: What is the most exciting cameo in these movies? Why are the Muppets always poor? Why would your brother join you on a date? Keep an ear out for Andy’s harrowing story of being a third wheel, and Tony’s brief but intense obsession with I do 2: The Divorce. Our theme music is
174 minutes | a year ago
Episode 37 – Addams Family Values
Time for an extra-long Halloween episode! Let’s pretend that was on purpose, and not us completely failing to keep track of all of our wasted time. Important questions: How long does it take to forget the name Uncle Fester? How gladly would we feast on those that would subdue us? Why do we keep coming across weird Native American stuff? Keep an ear out for Andy getting really aggro about goths and Tony getting really aggro about Muppets. Our theme music is
122 minutes | a year ago
Episode 36 – Babe: Pig in the City
Remember when talking animals movies moved in waves through theaters packed with children? Good times, unless we decide during this episode that they actually weren't. Important questions: Is Babe wearing a wig? How many pigs does it take to cast a major motion picture? What happened to all the sheep herding? Keep an ear out for Andy discovering that Elrond plays a dog in this movie and Tony feeling uncomfortable around sheep. Our theme music is
167 minutes | 2 years ago
Episode 35 – Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie: Pyramid of Light & Yu-Gi-Oh! The Dark Side of Dimensions
If you were worried you'd never get any insight into one of Tony's legitimate childhood obsessions, THEN GOOD NEWS. Important questions: Why would someone be buried with all the tools needed to kill them? Why did Seto Kaiba build a space elevator? In what way has Kaiba become the worst person? Keep an ear out for Andy and Tony taking a deep dive into Kaiba's anti-magic business meetings. Our theme music is
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