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Death and D*cks

31 Episodes

45 minutes | Jul 26, 2019
31: Hells Angels and Are Show-ers A Myth?
We’re sure you’ve wanted to f*ck a musician or 3 before...we all have a little groupie inside us, and this week for our CONCERT themed 31st episode we’re letting it all out! Jen tells us about the disaster of the Altamont Speedway Concert and how one should NEVER hire Hells Angels for security, while Haley tells us about how sometimes you can’t have all the fame and fortune when someone else is mentally unstable and jealous of it. Then we get into a very detailed story a Reddit user shared about a threesome with a famous 30 Seconds to Mars singer *wink wink* and again we pose you with a deep philosophical question - are show-ers even real? Because we both know growers are… but honestly who has EVER had a show-er?! If you have, send us your story or we won’t believe you. Happy Friday creeps and freaks!Theme or crime to suggest? Story to tell? Always anonymous. Let us know! deathanddicks@gmail.com Twitter - @deathanddcksInsta - @deathanddicksPatreon - @deathanddicks, D&D sticker with any donation!
52 minutes | Jul 19, 2019
30: Dirty Thirty and The Motion of The Ocean
Dirty, THIRTY, and thriving! Our podcast is entering the best years of it’s life, or so we’ve heard. This week we’re talking all things CRUISE SHIPS cause what couldn’t go wrong on a giant floating city in the middle of the ocean? Jen discusses the disappearance of Rebecca Coriam while Haley gives us 2 murderous stories of a cruise gone wrong! Then we find out all the down and dirty secrets of the cruise crew, how their beer is only a $1 (wth?!), and what it’s like to go on a sex cruise - because duh they exist and yes it’s exactly like what you’d imagine, orgy’s everywhere! We might even be booking one for ourselves...cause...ya know…”research”... Happy Friday creeps and freaks, wishing you all the best d*ck and none of the death!Theme or crime to suggest? Story to tell? Always anonymous. Let us know! deathanddicks@gmail.com Twitter - @deathanddcksInsta - @deathanddicksPatreon - @deathanddicks, D&D sticker with any donation!
54 minutes | Jul 12, 2019
29: Spiritual Guidance and Satan's Scaly Dick
Forgive us creeps and freaks, for we have sinned. Episode 29 is all about PRIESTS and how they definitely shouldn’t be priests. Jen tells the tale of the only priest executed in the US and Haley tells us about a priest, his mistress, and a Crab Apple tree. We know, that’s a lot to take in. Then we share our new knowledge of the odd fetish called “cake-sitting”, which doesn’t sound half bad, and that “spiritual guidance” could be more pleasureful than one might think. Finally we ‘wrap it all up’ with stories about the devil’s d*ck. Yep, you didn’t read that wrong. Theme or crime to suggest? Story to tell? Always anonymous. Let us know! deathanddicks@gmail.com Twitter - @deathanddcksInsta - @deathanddicksPatreon - @deathanddicks, D&D sticker with any donation!
54 minutes | Jul 5, 2019
28: A Blood Smoothie and Mustache Rides
Pardon us, we MUSTACHE you a question… Are you ready for episode 28?! This week we’re idiots and didn’t plan ahead for a 4th of July episode, so it’s about mustaches instead! Jen talks about the nipple slicin’ Vampire of Sacramento, Richard Chase, and Haley about kidnapper Ariel Castro. We have a listener story in response to our “Is Squirting A Myth?” episode in which she explains it indeed, is not. Jen also gives us an update on Groot and his bratwurst dick before explaining the most disturbing looking sex toy of all time. Lastly, mark your calendars and don’t forget to celebrate November 18th - national “have sex with a man with a mustache” day and then tell us about it! Happy Friday creeps and freaks!Theme or crime to suggest? Story to tell? Always anonymous. Let us know! deathanddicks@gmail.comTwitter - @deathanddcksInsta - @deathanddicksPatreon - @deathanddicks, D&D sticker with any donation!
49 minutes | Jun 28, 2019
27: The Bystander Effect and a One Legged Hook-Up
Hey ya creeps and freaks and welcome to episode 27! This week we’re talkin’ all things out in PUBLIC - murder, sex, you know the drill. Jen discusses the murder of Kitty Genovese and the resulting psychological “bystander effect” aka being a garbage person, and Haley tells us about the murder of Dana Lowery that was solved 13 years later thanks to the Doe Network Organization. This week we have another listener story from the same eloquent gentlemen as last week about how he got it on with a girl with one leg...in the car...while driving...and Haley tells us the best places to hook up in public while we discuss if we have, haven’t, or would never. Happy Friday!Theme or crime to suggest? Story to tell? Always anonymous. Let us know! deathanddicks@gmail.com Twitter - @deathanddcksInsta - @deathanddicksPatreon - @deathanddicks, D&D sticker with any donation!
46 minutes | Jun 21, 2019
26: My First Chemistry Set and Smearing Disrespect
Happy Friday and episode number 26! TEENAGERS scare the livin’ sh*t outta me, they can care less as long as someone’ll bleed...including the two teens we discuss in this episode! Jen tells a tale about “The Teacup Poisoner” and how you can get whatever chemicals you want at only 13 years old, while Haley discusses a listener’s suggestion, Alyssa Bustamante, who murdered a girl, wrote about it in her diary, and then went to church *lolz*. We have a listener story about a teenage hookup just to piss off some parents (obvi), give a review on the new series Euphoria, and hear about some first orgasm stories! Ahh, the memories. Theme or crime to suggest? Story to tell? Always anonymous. Let us know! deathanddicks@gmail.com Twitter - @deathanddcksInsta - @deathanddicksPatreon - @deathanddicks, D&D sticker with any donation!
67 minutes | Jun 14, 2019
25: A Non-consenting Tree and Is Squirting a Myth?
25 and feelin’ alive! We know we talk about sex on some level every episode, but this week we thought - why not make a whole theme of it?! As I’m sure you can imagine, there are SO many sex related deaths, which would be one hell of a way to go. This week Jen discusses multiple stories including death by masturbation and nipple electrocution, while Haley tells us about sadomasochist murderer (and dog stealer) Joanna Dennehy. Then, our absolute favorite, we read some of YOUR memorable listenener sex stories!  Happy Friday ya creeps and freaks, wishing you all the best d*ck and none of the death. Luvz ya, mean it!Theme or crime to suggest? Story to tell? Always anonymous. Let us know! deathanddicks@gmail.com Twitter - @deathanddcksInsta - @deathanddicksPatreon - @deathanddicks, D&D sticker with any donation!
59 minutes | Jun 6, 2019
24: A Cross-Armed Corpse and Vegan Whiskey Sh*t
Oh...is this thing on? You’re gonna want to grab a drink for episode 24, because it’s INTOXICATION themed! This week Jen talks about the controversial arrest of a local bartender for over-serving a patron who then went on to commit the worst crime in Plano history. Then Haley tells us the most frustrating story ever about the Smiley Face Murders, or maybe lack thereof? Also, how creepy is a corpse with it’s arms crossed…? Ew. We then discuss the differences between sex when you’re high vs drunk and of course we have some drunk hookup horror stories!Theme or crime to suggest? Story to tell? Always anonymous. Let us know! deathanddicks@gmail.com Twitter - @deathanddcksInsta - @deathanddicksPatreon - @deathanddicks, sticker with any donation!
45 minutes | May 31, 2019
23: Land of the Free and Home of the Vibrators
Nobody likes you when you’re (episode) 23, except hopefully you creeps and freaks! This week is truly our shortest and most efficient episode ever, we really don’t know how we did it, and our theme is AIRPLANES! Most airplane crimes are pretty cut and dry, so we give you 4 different quickies - two of which happen during a time when you could literally purchase life insurance from a vending machine before boarding the plane... What a time. We then tell you exactly how to hook up on an airplane and get away with it (or at least make the flight attendants not hate you/semi respect you for your efforts) and the best way to smuggle sex toys in your luggage. And finally, we realize how thankful we are for living in “The Land of The Free and Home of The Vibrators”.We now have a Patreon and we have no clue what we’re doing! Tell us what you want to see or what merch you’d be interested in. Any donations, send us your address and you’ll have a D&D sticker coming your way!Theme or crime to suggest? Story to tell? Always anonymous. Let us know! deathanddicks@gmail.com Twitter - @deathanddcksInsta - @deathanddicksPatreon - @deathanddicks
15 minutes | May 24, 2019
22: 69 Grow Houses and Blow Up Dolls
I don’t know about you, but we’re feelin’ 22! This week’s episode theme is about the state that has all the craziest headlines in the country… You guessed it - FLORIDA! This week Jen tells us about a killer house party (pun intended) and 69 grow houses, while Haley discusses an awful man who tried to be a teacher, a priest, and then a cop...all things you should NOT be when you’re a garbage person. Then we list off some of the best (worst) sex-involved FL headlines, Floridians favorite sex toy, and nighttime road head. We also wonder who even uses blow up dolls? And why? It’s like f*cking a pool float cup holder. We don’t get it. We now have a Patreon and we have no clue what we’re doing! Tell us what you want to see or what merch you’d be interested in. Any donations, send us your address and you’ll have a D&D sticker coming your way!Theme or crime to suggest? Story to tell? Always anonymous. Let us know! deathanddicks@gmail.com Twitter - @deathanddcksInsta - @deathanddicksPatreon - @deathanddicks
66 minutes | May 17, 2019
21: Pod the Rod and Game of Moans
Guys… our podcast is old enough to drink! Episode 21 is GAME OF THRONES themed and while it’s Jen’s fave like ever… it accidentally recorded on our laptop mic and not the real mic… We’re sorry in advance guys, but we swear this is a GOOD episode. We have a guest this week that has been a fan since the beginning and is the author of our Dubrovnik hook-up story! Jen tells us about the Cleveland Torso Murders, and Haley tells us about the sh*ttiest knight EVER. This week we question, “When you cut somebody’s d*ck off, how do they pee?” and determine that Haley’s little head would definitely fit in a paint can. Mark tells us how he goes straight for  the esophagus and agrees to masterbate into a dragon mouth sex toy and report back for the podcast! We hope you creeps&freaks enjoy!We now have a Patreon and we have no clue what we’re doing! Tell us what you want to see or what merch you’d be interested in. Any donations, send us your address and you’ll have a D&D sticker coming your way!Theme or crime to suggest? Story to tell? Always anonymous. Let us know! deathanddicks@gmail.comTwitter - @deathanddcksInsta - @deathanddicksPatreon - @deathanddicks
53 minutes | May 10, 2019
20: Frostbite Arousal and WW2 Flamethrowers
Episode 20 is here! Your sex is on fire but our voices aren’t, sorry in advance. This week we’re discussing fire-related crimes including the disappearance of Joey Offutt and the many many wrongdoings of Carl Panzram. We also discuss the science of week-old hamburger meat, give you the definition of sodomy (just in case you were wondering), and contemplate what it would be like to be drunk and disorderly at 7 YEARS OLD. We then ask the hard hitting question, “Am I aroused...or do I have frostbite?” because we’ve all wondered that before...right? RIGHT?!We now have a Patreon and we have no clue what we’re doing! Tell us what you want to see or what merch you’d be interested in. Any donations, send us your address and you’ll have a D&D sticker coming your way!Theme or crime to suggest? Story to tell? Always anonymous. Let us know! deathanddicks@gmail.comTwitter - @deathanddcksInsta - @deathanddicksPatreon - @deathanddicks
74 minutes | May 3, 2019
19: Cannibalistic Fantasies and Half a Cheesecake
How the hell do we already have 19 episodes? We’re not sure, but here it is. Episode 19 is food themed and we’re a little too excited about it. Mr. Grey joins us again as Jen discusses a whiskey to tea ratio and how Issei Sagawa is a thigh-man, while Haley tells us about more human soup made by the b*tch slasher herself - Katherine Knight. We consider the important questions like - how would you skin a penis? And, what would your last meal be on death row? Then we end with some great and not-so-great advice on how to keep your heart healthy and you d*ck strong. Always remember creeps and freaks... don’t waste the frosty!Theme or crime to suggest? Story to tell? Always anonymous. Let us know! deathanddicks@gmail.comTwitter - @deathanddcksInsta - @deathanddicks
66 minutes | Apr 26, 2019
18: The Butcher of Hanover and Sex on a Roof
Happy episode 18 creeps and freaks! This week we’re discussing the sweet springtime and the crimes that come with it. Jen explains the murder of Kelly Tinyes and Haley tells us about the Butcher of Hanover! We also discuss black market pork, werewolves, Sweeney Todd, and more! Then we dive into why people are more horny in the springtime, what spring-themed sex toys are available, and how Jen is going to get Haley a vibrator! How is a WW2 bayonet still used as a weapon in today’s times? We have no idea - listen and find out!Theme or crime to suggest? Story to tell? Always anonymous. Let us know! deathanddicks@gmail.comTwitter - @deathanddcksInsta - @deathanddicks
70 minutes | Apr 19, 2019
17: Bodies in Barrels and Fish Porn
There’s no cute saying about the number 17… but welcome to our 17th episode anyway! This week we’re discussing (on purpose) true-crimes that movies were based off of, Snowtown and Wolf Creek, and (on accident) Australian serial killers from the 90’s! Jen doesn’t know measurements while we discuss how deep one's forehead skin is in the event you get stabbed there, Haley tells us about her Uber nightmare, and there are so. many. balls. Not to mention a missing head, onion cheese, and petrified kangaroo carcasses. No, we’re not making this sh*t up. Finally, we delve into the twelve weirdest types of porn and wonder if there are holes in furry suits? And how can you rent a bank vault? Hmm...Also - we have D&D stickers coming! Want one or seven? DM us in one of the platforms listed below!Theme or crime to suggest? Story to tell? Always anonymous. Let us know! deathanddicks@gmail.comTwitter - @deathanddcksInsta - @deathanddicks
86 minutes | Apr 12, 2019
16: Human Soup and Fat Cakes
It’s our Sweet 16! This week is hotel-themed and your favorite Mexican and #1 Stan, Eli, joins us again as we discuss The Cecil Hotel and Room 1046! Together we delve into bird murder, the Korean elevator game, and sh*t even Scooby Doo and the Mystery Machine crew couldn’t figure out. Then Eli proposes to Haley and they proceed to fist bump 12 times throughout the episode... Jen counted. Eli tells us his own hotel hookup story, Jen tells hers, and Haley reads two listener stories because you creeps & freaks are the BEST and know that the best way to get over a man is to get under another one! We know this one is a LONG af, but trust us, it’s worth it if you wanna laugh your a*s off. Theme or crime to suggest? Story to tell? Always anonymous. Let us know! deathanddicks@gmail.comTwitter - @deathanddcksInsta - @deathanddicks
81 minutes | Apr 5, 2019
15: Hello Kitty and The "Dating" Game
This episode is a sh*t show, but a funny one at that. Episode 15 is DOLL themed. Creepy right? Yeah, you don’t even know yet. Also on this week’s episode, we have another guest! Our #1 fan and your favorite Mexican, Eli joins us and talks about what “heels to Jesus” means. This week, Jen discusses the “Toy-Box Killer”/the worst thing you’ve ever heard and Haley tells us about when smart people go bad! We also get into graphic detail about sex dolls, including their Carfax reports, and put Eli through “The Dating Game”! To top it all off, we tell you about some high-tech sex toys including a vibrator with airplane mode and a few of our own pocket p*ssy tales. Hope you creeps and freaks enjoy!Theme or crime to suggest? Story to tell? Always anonymous. Let us know! deathanddicks@gmail.comTwitter - @deathanddcksInsta - @deathanddicks
64 minutes | Apr 4, 2019
14: BBQ Pork and Two D*cks
WARNING - This is the most non-family-friendly family episode EVER. Legit, the first story we discuss is probably the most disturbing we’ve covered so far. Again, please be warned. In episode 14 we discuss family crimes including the Watts family murders, pathetic Henry Chau, and how to not achieve something important before you’re 30! After this, you’ll never think of BBQ pork the same way ever again… Jen talks about “marketing” at Sara’s Secret, Haley purrs a lot, and we cover the logistics of conjoined twin sex. Mr Grey joins us again and teaches us what “pushing rope” means and we all hope you never have to encounter that or starfish sex. You all deserve so much more. Lastly, it’s JUST ANGUS. Just Angus.Theme or crime to suggest? Story to tell? Always anonymous. Let us know! deathanddicks@gmail.com Twitter - @deathanddcksInsta - @deathanddicks
68 minutes | Mar 22, 2019
13: 60 Stabs and RIP Porn
This week we have our FIRST EVER guest! Mr. Grey joins us in the fort to give his two cents on our crazy stories. On this 13th episode we're discussing social media - Jen tells us about a not-so-well-known CreepyPasta caused murder and the "babyface" killer, while Haley tells us about the unsolved murder of Abby&Libby and how their best evidence was captured by Snapchat. Mr. Grey does math and as of now, is still alive. We also tell you the 5 "freakiest" dating sites (no, FarmersOnly.com is not one of them), give our opinions on the dying porn industry, and Haley raps Eminem in her carebear voice! We love you creeps and freaks!Story to tell or theme to suggest? Let us know! deathanddicks@gmail.comTwitter - @deathanddcks (no i because some d*ck took it, go report them)Instagram - @deathanddicks
67 minutes | Mar 15, 2019
12: The Murder Museum and Two Broken Legs
We're sorry in advance for this one... Episode 12 is dedicated to the crazy Irish and obvi St Patrick's Day! In normal "American" fashion, to celebrate, we got a little drunk. This episode Jen tells the story of when she twerked on a cop car, Kenneth O'Brien's murder and how his torso ended up in a suitcase, and Haley tells us about cadaver farms, the Sheila Hawkins dance, and the "near perfect" murder. Once again we serenade you, twice, to combat the "pure carnage" and "fountain f*cking". #MurderMuseum #Trademark #SorryForSlurringStory to tell? Theme or crime to suggest? TELL US! deathanddicks@gmail.comInstagram - @deathanddicksTwitter - @deathanddcks (...no i, some d*ck that doesn't even use their twitter stole our handle)
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