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Marni welcomes the CEO of Marriage Helper and Host of the podcast, It Starts with Attraction, Kimberly Beam Holmes to the Life Check Yourself studio. Kimberly has a Master's in Psychology and for over 10 years she has been researching the ways attraction affects people personally and the relationships they hold near and dear to their hearts.   Key takeaways from this episode:   How to dig deep into another person through curiosity The Love Path method Be compassionate before you rule a guy out How to reignite the attraction of a spouse or significant other   The Phases of Falling and Staying in Love [2:43]   Most people don’t know that there is a process to falling in love. They often think it is just chemistry or a pre-destined soulmate but in reality, any two people who follow Kimberly's process will fall in love. On the flip side of that, if a couple steps away from the process they could start falling out of love.   At Marriage Helper, Kimberly’s team helps couples fall back in love. The Love Path method is researched-based and time-tested. There are four steps in the Love Path:   P.I.E.S. Attraction Acceptance Attachment Aspiration   The more people focus on body appearance the more their self-worth decreases.   Trust is paramount in a relationship. We can’t break down our protective walls until we know that another person loves us for who we truly are. We all need to be accepted for our true selves.   Long-term relationships are made up of people who share visions, aspirations, and goals for their future together. When we start dating we tend to have shared goals but after time as we achieve our goals, many couples get bogged down in careers, kids, and chores.   Life can pull us apart if we are not intentional about keeping our relationship together.   Make a Connection: Visit Our Website Sign Up For Our Ignite Your Life October 2022 Waitlist! Learn How To Attract Your Perfect Equal… Watch Our Latest Training Here! Follow Along On Marni and Jeremy’s Radical Living Challenge! Download A Complimentary Copy Of Our Book — How To Find A Quality Guy Without Going On 200 Dates Kimberly’s Marriage Helper Website  

Marni welcomes Sex and Relationship Coach Melanie Curtin into the Life Check Yourself studio. Melanie is a writer with a Master’s from Stanford. She has been featured on the Today show, New York Observer, and she hosts the Dear Men Podcast: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women.   Key takeaways from this episode:   Four reasons women are afraid to give men feedback about sex Can chemistry be created when none exists Tips for speaking up about what feels good Where most men get their sexual training and why it’s bad for women   Research Says To Have Better Sex… [1:06]   Melanie started collecting data about feelings and communication with surveys embedded in her articles. She wanted to hear from other women about their sexual experiences with men, specifically if they had ever broken up with a man because of the sex.   Many of the women she surveyed said yes they did break up with men because of the sex. When asked if they offered feedback to the men they broke up with they said no, they were afraid to give men feedback.   There are four reasons women are afraid to give men feedback about sex. Melanie shares three:   They are afraid they will be attacked or shamed. The man will withdraw and leave. The man will compare them to another woman.   Consider feedback as an opportunity to make an adjustment rather than to take it personally. Many men feel that they should already know what they are doing. But, men are also getting most of their sexual examples from porn and porn is severely inaccurate when it comes to the time it takes a woman to achieve arousal.   It can take women over three times longer to reach full physiological arousal than men.   Can Chemistry in a Relationship Be Created? [29:28]   Melanie works with a lot of men. She says, in our culture, many men don’t show up in their full vitality and are disconnected from their power. If there isn’t chemistry at first kiss Melanie says to make sure you are fully in your feminine first and then try again. She doesn’t have a strong opinion either way on whether women should give it a second chance.   How a Woman Can Tell a Man What Feels Good [36:36]   Melanie offers up two ways women can help guide men into having a better sexual experience for both partners.   1. Mention what works for you aka positive reinforcement. 2. Let men say what works for them and ask them what their favorite part of sex was.   Figuring out your partner and how they get turned on is an act of love.   Make a Connection: Visit Our Website Sign Up For Our Ignite Your Life October 2022 Waitlist! Learn How To Attract Your Perfect Equal… Watch Our Latest Training Here! Follow Along On Marni and Jeremy’s Radical Living Challenge! Download A Complimentary Copy Of Our Book — How To Find A Quality Guy Without Going On 200 Dates Melanie Curtin Website & Please Her in Bed  

Marni welcomes fellow podcast dating host Amber Grubenmann to the Life Check Yourself studio. Amber is the creator of the highly-rated Women’s Dating and Confidence Podcast plus she helps ladies go from just dating to exclusive through her coaching programs.   Key takeaways from this episode:   Why women have sex before they are ready Tips for creating a long-term, meaningful relationship Exploring your inner sexiness Men’s expectations around sex   Set the Stage for the Type of Relationship You Want [1:50]   Amber shares some of the most common comments she hears from the women she works with about their mindset around why they have had sex early in a relationship or when they may not be ready:   If he has sex with me it means he likes me. I need to show him how good it is. If he doesn’t get it from me, he’s going to get it from someone else. I need to see if we are sexually compatible. If I don’t have sex with him, I will disappoint him.   Amber tells her clients that if they want to go from dating to exclusive, to introduce sex once they feel confident and secure in a relationship.   There are things you can do in dating that increase the probability of a certain type of relationship.   How to Cultivate the Right Mindset [10:28]   Relationships are a human need and men really want them. Taking the time in the early stages of a relationship to see if a man has the emotional qualities you are looking for will give you the opportunity to explore the sexual connection.   Clarifying your intentions can make the relationship road smoother throughout the entire journey. So explore the person you are dating through conversation. If a relationship starts to feel amazing and you don’t have the conversation, the guy may not be on the same page.   To get what you want, you have to talk about it and ask for it.   Bringing Sexy Back [18:02]   Everyone wants to feel sexy. But, often we have things that hold us back from feeling fully into our sexuality. Amber offers some tips women can use to get comfortable with their bodies and their sexuality.   Have a self-pleasure practice to learn what you like and what turns you on. Consider what are the factors that allow you to enhance or disrupt your feeling sexual? What factors allow your nervous system to relax?   Inner sexiness is unconditional and different for all of us.   Many women believe that men have certain expectations around sex because some have felt the pressure to have sex at some point in their lives. But, sex will never create security in a connection. So, if you are looking for a long-term commitment, leading with sex doesn’t give you the emotional security you need for long-term happiness.   If you want a meaningful relationship, don’t treat it casually.   Make a Connection: Visit Our Website Plug Into Your Superpower Retreat — Apply at DatingwithDignity.com/pluginform Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here! Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here! Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book — How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates Women’s Dating And Confidence Podcast    

Marni and Chris are joined by Reality Rayna aka Marni’s daughter Rayna Battista to recap Love on the Spectrum, a reality dating show with neurodiverse contestants. This is Chris’s favorite reality dating show because the daters are obsessed with the truth and are authentic. Marni says neurotypical daters do the same things but it’s all happening on the inside.   Key takeaways from this episode:   The beauty of honesty in relationships How to be coachable Finding something fun to do for a first date Not taking things personally   Dani & Solomon [4:26]   Dani has her own business, loves animation, and is dead set on finding someone. She holds high standards for herself and others. She is high-functioning on the autism scale. She says she wants a business partner, lover, and best friend!   Solomon is attractive, into spirituality, and also high-functioning on the autism scale. On their first date, Dani & Solomon have crazy physical chemistry. They kiss a lot! But it throws Dani off. She wasn’t prepared for so much physical attraction. She got overwhelmed.   Dani exhibits every inner feeling of any woman going on a date with a hot guy. But she has no inner monologue, so she says to Solomon “You are so hot. I love you” and, “I think you are my person” on their first two dates. Then after date number two, she puts on the brakes. She may have sabotaged the relationship and put her guard up because it was too much, too fast.   We sabotage great possibilities because we get emotionally attached and scared. It’s a protective mechanism. We need to get clear about what we really want.   Next, Dani goes on a date with Adan. He seems to be everything she is looking for but she doesn’t find him attractive.   Subodh, Abbey, Rachel, & David [17:58]   A giant dating lesson from these dates is that dinner is not the best way to get to know another person. Subodh and Abbey went on really fun dates. They both love animals so they went to the zoo. They both enjoyed themselves and it got them out of their comfort zones in a nice way.   Also, the couples used a basic communication style which is what creates connection. Sure, Abbey got nervous when she went out with David because we all get nervous on a date when sharing things about ourselves.   Just because you are neurotypical, doesn’t mean you are supposed to know how to make connections and create intimacy.   A great example of how not to take things personally is when David asks Abbey for some of the candy he brought her and she tells him no. He says “OK. It’s probably not good for me anyway.” Abbey knows how to say no at the moment which is monumental for not feeling resentment later.   Breaking Up with Dignity and Respect [28:58]   A high-quality person will communicate even when it is bad news. For example, Dani knows it is going to hurt Solomon’s feelings when she tells him she isn’t interested in dating him again. It is hard for her to do but she respects him enough to tell him.   It is important to be forthright and treat your date the way you want to be treated.   Another example is after the medieval date, James asks Emma if she wants to go out on another date and she says “No. I think we should just be friends.” It is so brave. There are no excuses, only truth.   When you don’t say what you feel. You are assuming the other person can’t handle the truth. It’s disrespectful.   Make a Connection: Visit Our Website Plug Into Your Superpower Retreat — Apply at DatingwithDignity.com/pluginform Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here! Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here! Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast — Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book — How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates  

Marni speaks to a 5 Keys to Becoming Irresistible program graduate about how she found the love of her life in her 40s. After finishing the program, Naomi met her fiance and soon-to-be father of her child on a dating app. She shares what she was missing before joining the program, what she learned during the program, and how she applied the knowledge to meet the love of her life.   Key takeaways from this episode:   Don’t give up on your dreams. All men are not the same. Reach out for help when you have tried everything. Stop sabotaging yourself.   Giving Up Without Putting Your Best Self Out There [2:11]   Naomi remembers she was 43 and in a rough place. She had been in a long-term relationship that couldn’t last. She got really attached to a guy she had only dated for a week. She knows she wanted kids but her biological clock was ticking. She was even trying to get pregnant on her own with some of the guys she dated.   When you realize you are starting to accept that you may not be able to achieve your dreams, that's when it's time to double down.   Be All You Can Be [6:28]   Naomi had looked online but what drew her to the 5 Keys to Becoming Irresistible program was the vibe that this program was going to be about how she could be the best person she could be to draw in the right person at the right time. She wanted to be in the right headspace to navigate a solid relationship.   There comes a time when you are the common denominator.   During the program, Naomi found the narrowing down of the qualities she was truly looking for super helpful and how to get vulnerable during the dating process. She even got help from Helen, so she could text just the right thing after the program ended.   Biggest Takeaways from the Program [28:48]   Naomi says she may have missed out on THE guy if you generalize all men as the same. Her advice for other ladies who may be ready to give up:   Have an open mind. Don't make excuses. Don’t want something so badly that you try to make someone something they are not. Be brave enough to wait for the right person.   Her biggest takeaways from the 5 Keys program:   She has a greater sense of who she is. She gained clarity about what she wanted. She put herself in situations where she would meet more people.   Make a Connection: Visit Our Website Plug Into Your Superpower Retreat — Apply at DatingwithDignity.com/pluginform Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here! Learn how to attract your perfect equal… watch our latest training here! Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast — Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book — How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates    

Marni speaks to the founder of Ordinary Sherpa, Heidi Dusek. Heidi is known as a catalyst, healthy disruptor, and unshakable optimist. She is passionate about challenging the status quo, driving change, and designing experiences. Her forthcoming book, Beyond Normal, inspires families to create authentic travel experiences through meaningful UN-tourism. Listen in to see how she is designing a life of meaningful experiences that inspire joy.   Key takeaways from this episode:   Challenge the status quo Create meaningful experiences Traveling differently — UN-tourism Simple is better How to say yes!   Challenge the Status Quo   The pandemic felt like the universe decided to challenge the status quo. It changed everyone in the world’s life. This means that right now we have a unique opportunity to grab onto a new normal that better serves us. And, with more and more companies offering positions for virtual work, we no longer need to orient our lives around where we work. It is a freedom past generations didn't have.   Heidi has long pondered the concept of work-life balance. She recognized that there is no such thing, work is part of life. She decided only to have things in her life that made her joyful. Joy was her North Star. She recommends writing the narrative of what you want your life to be and then designing your new life around that narrative. Heidi's mantra is “I want every day to feel like vacation.”   Highlight the joy of life and get a bit uncomfortable challenging your status quo.   UN-Tourism: Travel Differently   Adventure is about finding out about new places other travelers haven’t discovered before. Heidi recalls a story of a small diner that never would have been on her radar if the gas station attendant had not recommended it. Her family loved it and it didn’t cost a fortune to feed a family of five.   All types of travelers can create a meaningful life on any type of budget. It normally doesn’t take as much planning as we think it does. Scale it back to the basics and relish in your relationships instead of high-priced adventures. It can be less about what you are doing and more about enjoying the journey and getting through the rough spots.   What do you really want out of your life?   Simple Adventures Can Be Worth More   Heidi made a conscious decision to create a “Year of Yes.” Every time she had an opportunity she challenged herself to say yes. It’s a reminder that everyone has the power to change their story. You don’t need to make the giant, life-altering decisions, just change one thing that challenges you.   What if there is no tomorrow? Do it now!   Make a Connection: Visit Our Website Plug Into Your Superpower Retreat — Apply at DatingwithDignity.com/pluginform Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here! Learn how to attract your perfect equal… watch our latest training here! Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast — Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book — How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates Ordinary Sherpa Beyond Normal: A field guide to embrace adventure, explore the wilderness, and design an extraordinary life with kids

Marni and Chris move on to dissect a new show, The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On. The new series means a new group of 20-something couples but the same relationship issues. Does everyone who issued an ultimatum get their way? Was an ultimatum the best way to wash out the issues or is it just a manipulation tool?   Key takeaways from this episode:   Ultimatums can be pattern interrupters Wherever you go, there you are Defaulting to bad behaviors Ultimatums are the opposite of dating with dignity   Manipulating Another Person to Get What You Want   It seems that all the contestants thought they would go on the show and then get their way. So, it begs the question, when we make an ultimatum, are we using manipulation as a tool to make the other person do what we want? Or, we are at our wit’s end and are tired of having our non-negotiables infringed upon?   Marni says it is unfortunate but people usually only make changes because they reach a pain point. Chris says some of the couples may be using the ultimatum as a pattern interrupter, an effort to make the other person aware of their patterns that cross a boundary.   If someone gives you an ultimatum is it based on a problem you have or is it about them?   People tend to think they can find someone better but later come to realize maybe they can not. The show highlights this. If the issue is to marry or not to marry, an ultimatum can take the “fantasy” or made-up “other person” out of the equation.   The Ultimatum Couples   The internet loves April after she tells Jake there is a reason why they are not working and it is total BS to acquiesce without solving the issue. Lauren and Nate talk about the baby in a side conversation. Loren accepts Nate’s proposal during the show but says they need therapy. Hunter doesn’t want anyone else to have Alexis. He seems to be more motivated by fear than love.   If a person gives IN to an ultimatum right away, the issue will likely resurface at some time during the relationship.   Marni reminds us that even if we find someone we believe to be perfect for us, we remain the same until we do the work. Wherever you go, there you are. If we have a problem that has run through all of our relationships, maybe it is time we take a cold hard look at ourselves.   Zay comes home drunk. Rae punches Zay. Zay goes to Shanique to find solace but Shanique calls him out. Zay thought Shanique would accept him no matter how awful he is but she doesn’t. Shanique realizes she needs a grown-up man like Randall.   Colby loves Madeline. They live together and have dogs together but after the ultimatum, she goes to Randall. Randall is obviously putting his best foot forward but he will not have sex with her. She gets validation and connection from the passion of physical touch so it forces her to deal with her stuff.   Off-camera Colby goes out to a club to pick up chicks so he could participate in the experiment. Marni loves the scene where Colby goes to meet up with Madeline and her friends and they all rage against him. They say everything you should never say to someone you love.   Make a Connection: Visit Our Website Plug Into Your Superpower Retreat — Apply at DatingwithDignity.com/pluginform Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here! Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here! Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast — Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book — How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates  

Marni speaks with Sage, Coach, Veteran Business Strategist, and Thought Leader, Kalyn Wilson. Kalyn’s work experience includes influential non-profits, city government, part CEO, principal consultant, and Ph.D. candidate, and has cultivated talent management wins at Fortune 100 companies. Her life and career outlook are inspiring and thought-provoking. There are so many useful nuggets in this episode!   Key takeaways from this episode:   How to create your life on your terms Managing time and timing The power of waiting on inspiration The new world of work The key to flow   What Makes Kalyn So Special? [2:41]   Kalyn knows how to create the life of her dreams. She has always been an advisor. In her youth, her grandmother would let her know the family’s business if she could keep up during conversations. She learned the power of listening and how to quickly read people's facial expressions. Her gift was to be emotionally intelligent enough to know how to respond.   It may not always feel like it, she says but people around us are always paying attention and becoming inspired by our lives in ways we can not always measure.   Recognize your influence and leverage it for good.   How to Get the Life and Career You Deserve [5:34]   Expanding the definition of what is possible for ourselves and using our inner wisdom to know when to take action is how we can create a life we feel in alignment with. Timing makes the difference between us catching a moment or reacting to a moment. The pandemic made a lot of us feel as though we missed our moment a long time ago, but we didn’t. The time is now!   The management of time and timing is critical for success and wellbeing.   Kalyn believes that, for many people, it is the destination they focus on and not the journey they are on. If more people took the time to think about their life as a whole, as a journey they would make strategic decisions about who and where they want to be.   We are not machines. Everything needs rest and recovery. When we do not listen to our inner Self, our immune systems weaken and our bodies get stressed out with anxiety. We inherently know when to stop, we just need to trust our journey and do what is best for us.   Don’t wait too late. Amazing things happen when we listen to the timing of the universe.   The New World of Work [26:13]   The pandemic made working from home the best alternative for employers to keep their workforces producing. Now, they may be motivated to get people back into the office simply because they have so much money invested in the existing real estate. If you prefer working from home, tell employers the value they get from giving you what you want.   Sometimes we play savior in situations that are not worth being saved.   She reminds us that we are moving out of the post-industrial era and work is changing. Previously, corporations held the power to tell us at what pace work should change. In today’s world, talent has the leverage. Tap into what you love to do and where you love to do it. Collect the data, make the ask, and then make decisions about what best aligns with you.   Get clear about exactly what it is that keeps you feeling in control. Be aware of what you want. The key to flow is the willingness to balance wait and action. Everything doesn’t need to be now, now, now. True creatives wait for their inspiration. It comes with divine timing. Have compassion for yourself.   Make a Connection: Visit Our Website Plug Into Your Superpower Retreat — Apply at DatingwithDignity.com/pluginform Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here! Learn how to attract your perfect equal… watch our latest training here! Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast — Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book — How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates Kalyn Wilson  

Marni and Chris recap Season Two of Love is Blind. Be warned, Marni binge-watched the season and this episode contains spoilers. Shayne and Sal didn’t win at love but won plenty of female followers, Shaina is custom-made for The Bachelor, and Deepti deserves more than a man-child.   Key takeaways from this episode:   Overcoming mistakes in relationships Acceptance and forgiveness Why do people get wasted the night before their wedding? How to be rejection-proof   When You Make a Mistake in a Relationship [2:11]   Marni points out that several incidents must have happened off-camera that are integral to the show and the end of the season seemed a bit disjointed because of it. There are pivotal moments when the couples who got married were able to let things go, forgive, and move on.   The biggest shock was when Shayne got wasted the day before his wedding. He truly showed his warts. If you are dating someone and a huge mistake is made, you must be able to accept their apology. Natalie hears the I’m sorry but she couldn’t seem to take in his love and his apology at her soul level. This may result in her building a wall and she may have a hard time opening up in the future. Shayne doesn’t know how to say sorry any other way.   Shayne seemed to see beyond Natalie’s flaws and to love and accept her for who she was. Natalie seemed like she had an idea of who Shayne was but when she figured out she couldn’t control him, she wanted out of the relationship. Shayne told her he wasn’t going to change who he was. He needed her to fight for them and it takes two.   Marni believes Natalie set a boundary to run if something like this ever happened. She was looking for reasons to rule Shayne out rather than in. Generally, when men are with someone like Natalie, they never feel good enough.   A lot of people need to make others wrong to feel good about themselves.   Sal & Mallory Breakup at the Altar [22:52]   Again, something must have happened behind the scenes with Sal and Mal that we didn’t get to see. Chris thinks Mallory was never as into Sal as much as she should have been. The internet disagrees with her. The ladies of the web find Sal endearing and romantic. He gave Mallory space which is refreshing.   Marni reminds us that we are the common denominator in all of our relationships. It could be possible that people who offer us pure love and attention scare us because we don’t know how to accept love and kindness.   Some women create drama where there doesn’t need to be any because they don’t feel worthy of love.   Shake & Deepti [29:43]   Shake did not feel worthy of Deepti, and he is probably right. Even his mother told him to do Deepti a favor and break it off. He is a real jerk on the reunion show. Marni thinks he is in the process of man-volving but isn’t far enough along in his journey to get over the rejection without being childish about it. Deepti deserves a better man.   Make a Connection: Visit Our Website Plug Into Your Superpower Retreat — Apply at DatingwithDignity.com/pluginform Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here! Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here! Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast — Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book — How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates

Marni speaks with the author of Anxiously Attached: Becoming More Secure in Life and Love, Jessica Baum. Jessica is the founder of the Relationship Institute of Palm Beach, a practice that provides couples therapy, family counseling, and addiction therapy. She has worked with thousands of clients for over a decade. She helps clients make a meaningful connection with themselves so they can better understand how they relate to people in relationships.   Key takeaways from this episode:   Understanding an Anxious Attachment style What it means to do “the work” Being compassionate toward other people Why your body is holding on to past trauma Cultivating a great, deep love   How the Anxious Attachment Style Relates to Your Love Life [2:17]   Attachment styles are embedded patterns that get developed early in life. They get embedded in our nervous system. We repeat hurts from childhood in our adult relationships because it is the way we learned to adapt, connect, and survive. For anxious people, it comes with a lot of self-sacrifices.   Twenty-five percent of the population has an anxious attachment style. Secure people can feel anxiety in their relationships but people with an anxious attachment system tend to be hyperfocused on the external. They normally have a deep-seated abandonment wound. The way they survive is to make plans and keep things close. They may seem controlling but they are just trying to create calmness in their world.   People with an anxious attachment style are externally focused because they have trouble getting their own needs met.   Is It Intuition or a Past Trauma? [10:35]   When we are young and our hippocampus is not fully formed, we have implicit memory. When we are little we store sensations in our body. When sensations feel big, we know it is an old feeling that is resurfacing. Jessica reminds us that big sensations can be painful and cause us to lash out.   Awareness, compassion, and the right support can help us change behavior.   What are you doing to distract yourself from having real relationships?   Anxiously Attached: The Book [19:22]   A lot of couples go to Jessica when they are activated without understanding on a conscious level why they are acting the way they are. In her book, Anxiously Attached: Becoming More Secure in Life and Love, Jessica breaks down what is happening to the nervous system of both people in the relationship and describes what they can do to gain a better understanding of what is happening, and what the other person is feeling.   Jessica says that when we form adult relationships we internalize them and they become part of how we build our secure sense of self. It is through these experiences we learn how to self-regulate.   You can’t fake safety but you can cultivate it.   Make a Connection: Visit Our Website Plug Into Your Superpower Retreat — Apply at DatingwithDignity.com/pluginform Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here! Learn how to attract your perfect equal… watch our latest training here! Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast — Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book — How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates  

Marni welcomes the newest member of the Institute of Living Courageously, Patricia Diesel to the podcast. Patricia is a speaker, author, professional organizer, and certified life coach, and she educates people on the benefits of being organized to restore tranquility and a sense of order. She has been featured in Cosmo, Women’s Day, PBS, and Good Morning America.   Key takeaways from this episode:   Getting rid of old beliefs about who we are Understanding why we want to attract a partner How to release things back into the universe Coming clean to live an authentic life   Why We Need to Declutter [4:01]   When we are emotionally invested in our stuff, it is a reflection of our history and our story. That is why things can be difficult to part with. Patricia says that is why decluttering our homes and our minds can be very cathartic. Professional organizers are trained to ask the questions that individuals don’t ask of themselves. Whether or not we are talking about decluttering material things, we are still talking about the clutter that surrounds our emotions and our minds. We invite things into our lives but there is a time to release those things back into the universe to bring us closure and peace of mind.   Our things are a reflection of who we are.   Man Clutter [10:30]   Patricia says we are all a bit messy with some things consistently but, there are some who have chronic disorganization. Women who are always attracting Mr. Wrong are addicted to finding a man who is bad for them. Having bad man habits is akin to hoarding. If they are always with the guy who is bad for them, they are collecting feelings and emotions. Some have a hard time letting go of what is familiar, even if it is unhealthy because they find comfort in the memory.   Let go of your Man Clutter!   If we can get connected to who we really are, free from our unhealthy attachments, free from past experiences, and release our fear we can create a life based on the terms we set for ourselves.   How Removing Clutter Brings Peace and Stability [17:29]   As we begin to learn more about ourselves and we allow ourselves to feel, Patricia says, the process of decluttering becomes beautiful. It offers us a chance to redefine ourselves and to decide who it is that we want to show to the world.   The unhealthy attachment we have to stuff or to men means there is probably a childhood wound at the core of our intentions. Decluttering offers us a chance for us to get to the root of the problem which allows us to grow and heal.   Patricia cautions us to declutter and unpack with baby steps. She recommends locating an area that needs decluttering, considering the amount of time the small project needs, and prioritizing ourselves by truly showing up and getting to work.   When we talk about coming clean and living our authentic life, we need to look at the real reason we want a partner in our life. What is the real reason we are putting ourselves out there to meet people?   Don’t lose sight of the real reason we want to attract another person into our lives.   Make a Connection: Visit Our Website Plug Into Your Superpower Retreat — Apply at DatingwithDignity.com/pluginform Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here! Learn how to attract your perfect equal… watch our latest training here! Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast — Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book — How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates  

Marni and Chris recap another episode of Season Two of Love is Blind. The couples are finally spending time together. They get 24-48 hours alone to see if the connections they made in the pods remain true. And, spoiler alert, love is not blind.   Key takeaways from this episode:   Being clear about what you want Sabotaging a relationship because you are insecure Looks are not everything Core values are the most important thing in relationships   Masculine & Feminine Energy [2:03]   This episode of Love is Blind, kicks off with Mallory and Sal getting 48-hours alone to find out if their relationship has what it takes to survive an engagement. Mallory seems playful, feminine, and coy when interacting with Sal. But, when she speaks with Jarrette later in the show she drops into her masculine and sounds like a dude.   Chris says Mallory is walking around like a red flag by describing how different and deserving she is. He adds that it is probably a protective measure. Chris also notes that the outcome of the show is getting engaged, so Mallory's hitting on Jarrette can be construed as emotional cheating.   Does Mallory want to be everybody's bro or does she want to be the love interest?   Marni says that when we are left to our own devices, without accountability or self-awareness, many women sabotage relationships with great guys. It feels weird because a person is being nice to us and we don’t know what to do with it. Women unusually revert back to their familiar habits and go for the same old type of guy.   Looks Aren’t Everything: The Nerd Gets Insecure & Judgy [9:03]   In the pod portion of the show, hair and makeup must have been revved up because everyone looked like a jacked-up version of themselves. But in the most recent show, Deepti looked like a girl you would see at Walmart. There is nothing wrong with her naturalness which is why Shake wins the jerk of the year award.   Chris thinks Shake is desperate to leave his nerdy, chubby kid back in the past and wants to be super cool now that he has lost weight. He is insecure and feels not worthy so he judges others in the harsh light that others used to judge him.   Focusing on looks gets in the way of true love and intimacy because if you don't have shared values you will not have real, long-term chemistry with the person.   Make a Connection: Visit Our Website Plug Into Your Superpower Retreat — Apply at DatingwithDignity.com/pluginform Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here! Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here! Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates  

Marni welcomes the hosts of the mental health podcast, A Little Help for Our Friends, Jaqueline Trumbull, and Kibby McMahon. Jaqueline is a member of Bachelor Nation, a Ph. D. student at Duke, who studies how interpersonal functioning is impacted by personality, and shame, and contempt. Kibby is a Clinical Psychologist and a Yogi whose passion is in helping people connect more deeply with themselves and others.   Key takeaways from this episode:   Why we do what we do Changing our narrative Managing emotions The importance of trying something new in dating Applying a growth mindset to life   How Jaqueline & Kibby Came Together [5:01]   Jaqueline and Kibby met at Duke University. They discovered they had stimulating conversations together. Jaqueline had been on the Bachelor which created a bit of a social media following. The duo decided to create a podcast to use their power for good. The podcast, A Little Help for Our Friends, focused on the mental health sphere of people who were suffering collateral damage from mental health issues and personality disorders.   Why We Do What We Do [8:32]   The love we receive as a child becomes our narrative for what love should look like. It can create definitive schemas, which are the way we perceive ourselves in the world. It may be that we develop a schema that we don’t deserve love or that we are not important in a relationship. As we grow older and get into relationships, we attract people who make us feel like love made us feel when we were smaller. We stay in the pattern until we change it and we play out stories that don’t feel resolved.   The love you received as a child becomes your narrative for what love looks like in your life going forward.   Our identities are flexible and can change over time. We have a choice in the identity we want to take on. Some people are afraid of what change will look like for them. We can change without destabilizing ourselves.   Becoming Emotionally Bonded & Regulating Emotions [19:15]   Marni asks the co-hosts of A Little Help for Our Friends what contributes to our emotional bonding. At certain times in our lives, we may emotionally bond with people who fill certain needs even though they may not be suitable for long-term commitments. It’s important to ask ourselves what the relationship is serving. If it fills an unmet need from childhood it may not last.   Happiness and living a meaningful life are living in accordance with our values. But, to know our values we have to dig deep into what we want for ourselves. Emotions make us do things that may not be aligned with our values. Negative emotions aren't bad, they just direct us to do certain things.   Inaction is a choice.   Make a Connection: Visit Our Website Plug Into Your Superpower Retreat — Apply at DatingwithDignity.com/pluginform Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here! Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here! Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates A Little Help for Our Friends  

Marni and Chris recap the third episode of Season Two of Love is Blind. The group finally leave the pods and head to Cancun to see if they are compatible face-to-face. Questions abound over the producers choice to make certain people disappear if the relationships they formed were not saucy or controversial enough.   Key takeaways from this episode:   Being a second choice isn’t necessarily a bad thing Unless in a committed relationship it is OK to date other people Wanting someone to change for you The issues that are not worth breaking up over   Getting Together After He Tries Out the Other Girl [2:46]   In the episode, Jarret chooses between Mallory over Iyanna. Mallory flat out tells Jarret that she is not interested. She does it honestly and succinctly, which is how it should be. There should be no ghosting or ignoring text when telling a guy you are not interested.   Can a relationship work out if you know you were not the other person’s first choice?   Chris says we should all be dating other people before a commitment is made. That is how we get a clear understanding of what we like and what we don’t like. If we let our ego get in the way and take an initial rejection personally, we may miss out on a great opportunity.   When a guy says he likes someone else then shows up in your inbox a month or so later to reconnect, give him a second chance.   Looks Aren’t Everything [14:16]   Shaina tells Shayne she really likes him but Shayne says he likes Natalie. So, Shaina starts hanging with Kyle, who is a vegetarian. Shaina tells him if he wants to be with her he should eat meat. As soon as he eats meat, she leaves saying she is still attracted to Shayne.   When Natalie meets Shayne she quips that she thought he would be goofy. She obviously finds him physically appealing but something is a little off with their connection. Marni says she sees this all the time with her clients. They often want a guy to be who they want him to be so badly, that they continue to date him even if something is off.   Is an Issue Worth Breaking Up Over? [26:45]   In the episode another important point surrounding non-negotiables is brought up when Danielle is not happy that Nick uses organic toothpaste and homemade body wash. Should a personal choice be a deal breaker, or is it something that couples get used to?   Marni says people should spend more time ruling each other in, instead of ruling them out. Be curious about the other person and remember you have habits that someone else might find annoying. Would you want them not to date you because of them?   Make a Connection: Visit Our Website Plug Into Your Superpower Retreat — Apply at DatingwithDignity.com/pluginform Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here! Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here! Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates  

Marni welcomes inspirational speaker, author, and esteemed member of the transformational leadership council, Kute Blackson, into the studio to discuss his latest book, The Magic of Surrender. Kute shares the transformational opportunity that appeared when his mother was diagnosed with a fatal illness and how his book sprung from his soul and onto the page.   Key takeaways from this episode:   Myths and misconceptions about surrender Moving into alignment with the universe Start telling yourself the truth about what you want Overcome past conditioning about what you need from life   The Magic of Surrender [2:51]   In our culture today there is a common misconception about what surrender truly means. It often means giving up and had negative connotations. A myth is that when you surrender you get less but Kuke says it's the opposite. Surrender is the most powerful thing you can do. Surrender is the key to manifesting your wildest dreams.   To surrender is when we stop trying to force and manipulate life to fit into our limited idea of how we think life should be. Surrendering opens ourselves to the life that seeks to organically happen from our soul.   Release and let go of what is no longer authentic or aligned with you.   The Process of Surrendering [13:27]   Human beings lie to themselves to keep themselves safe. We stay in relationships we know are not right. We stay in jobs, friendships, and circumstances that we know compromise our integrity but they stay due to security.   A simple and practical place to begin surrendering is by telling the truth to ourselves about who we are, what we feel, and what we want. Kute says if we just start with the truth we will set ourselves free. Issues in our lives will start to dissolve as we live in our truth.   Ask yourself what you want more than anything else, what you are pretending you don’t know, and what is lying to yourself costing you.   Myths and Misconceptions about Surrender [23:11]   To overcome past programming and conditioning and to live in action without attachment, we need to ask ourselves what the universe, the divine, or our souls wish to express through us. And, when we align ourselves with the answer, our truth, then we begin moving into action without attachments and in flow.   Our motivation is aligned with our soul. That is what moves us forward. And, when we take action that is aligned with our soul we feel a level of peace. The universe gives us proof that we can trust life.   Work in alignment with your truth and listen to life’s feedback.   Make a Connection: Visit Our Website Plug Into Your Superpower Retreat — Apply at DatingwithDignity.com/pluginform Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here! Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here! Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates Kute Blackson  

Marni and Chris discuss another episode of Love is Blind. This time it is The Love Triangle. The 30-something contestants are still in their pods, slowly working their way up to meeting IRL. A couple of couples have been born out of the show already, but will they last? When the contestants finally meet what indiscretions will come to light, and how will they be handled?   Key takeaways from this episode:   Do couples need to agree on everything? Does physical attraction make or break a relationship? How to integrate different backgrounds and cultures Actions speak louder than words   Do We Need to Agree on the Big Topics to Be Together? [2:26]   When we gloss over things we don’t see eye-to-eye on, like religion, does it come back to haunt our relationships? When we are super attracted to another person, we can let our non-negotiables and deal breakers slide because we believe that love trumps everything else.   In this episode of Love is Blind Kyle and Shaina are discussing their differences around faith and religion. Kyle says he is a science guy who would likely mock Shaina if she chose to pray before dinner. She tells him she goes to church and has a strong faith. Marni points out that a common mistake is collecting data about a person and then convincing ourselves that differences can be worked through later.   Shaina says yes to becoming engaged to Kyle even after she discovers he doesn’t share her faith.   If you find yourself in this situation, don’t ignore the differences and discuss them in detail. Expectations about our non-negotiables should be concrete early in relationships. Ask questions until the subject is clear. Deeper than Face Value [21:09]   During this episode, Shake is talking with Deepti. Shake admits to being overly focused on appearance but he has an epiphany after making a deep connection with Deepti that he now feels it is more about the connection and that they have shared interests and values. When they meet he discovers that she is hot and instantly grabs her and says he wants to make her pregnant. Marni can’t decide if she thinks this is weird or cute?   If you are dating someone from a different culture you need to decide upfront, as a couple, which parts of the culture you are going to embrace and which ones you are not going to embrace.   Like a Silent Movie [25:32]   Marni reminds us that like a silent movie, actions are more important than words. On the show, Shane makes a perfect example of someone who says one thing and then does something else. He asks Natalie to be his girlfriend but then flirts with Shaina. When Shaina (a hot mess in her own right) calls him out on it, Shane changes the subject and asks a mundane question such as ‘so, what are you wearing babe?’.   Chris asks what is so special about Shane that he has two girls falling all over him. No one can figure it out. Marni says she thinks he has a way of making the girls feel good about themselves but time will tell.   Do not fall into a love triangle.   Make a Connection: Visit Our Website Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here! Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here! Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates  

Marni welcomes Author, Speaker, Entrepreneur, and Business Advisor, Fred Joyal to the Life Check Yourself mobile studio. Fred’s book, Superbold: From Under Confident to Charismatic in 90 Days is a step-by-step guide for having a successful and happy life. You will be inspired to embrace life after listening!   Key takeaways from this episode:   Boldness can be learned Communication mistakes Taking risks and action How to be bold by default   What Does it Mean to Be Superbold? [2:10]   Confidence is how you feel. Boldness is what you do. A common misconception is that boldness is something we are born with. But, boldness can be learned much faster than most people think. Fred admits that he is an introvert and having fun and taking risks was not part of his life before figuring it all out. He says it can be part of everyone's life with very little effort.   Boldness is confidence in action.   Superbold is the ability to bring boldness and confidence to action when it matters most. If you are confident around co-workers, family, and friends but when it is crucial you exert boldness in a social situation you have a hard time speaking up or taking action.   The Power Tools of Boldness [6:59]   Actively listening to someone with no response planned makes a huge difference when making someone feel comfortable with you. Smiling and making eye contact will keep most people engaged with you, Fred says. People notice if there is an ulterior motive in a conversation and they are instantly repelled by it.   A Superbold power tool is going into a situation and being present for the experience itself without thinking about the outcome you want.   It's easy to project things on other people. It's better to find out who the person actually is without hoping they are the person of our dreams. Take your time and get to know someone. Fred says to be sure to say your exit line while you still have eye contact, not as you are turning and walking away. Turning too fast can transmit disinterest.   A conversation during a date doesn’t have to be a ping pong match.   Building the Boldness Muscle: The PRIDE Method [23:30]   Chasing your dreams should make you proud. In nursing homes, more seniors regret the stuff they didn’t try more than making bad decisions. That’s what is gnawing at them in their final days, actions they didn’t take.   The PRIDE Method:   Preparation — prepare what you are going to say Relaxing — check in with your body and shed your anxiety Insight — make the choice not to panic when something happens Dosage — control the intensity of your experience Everyday Action — do something bold every day   The great secret in life is — trying and failing feels almost as good as trying and succeeding.   Make a Connection: Visit Our Website Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here! Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here! Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates Fred Joyal Superbold: From Under-Confident to Charismatic in 90 Days  

Marni and Chris Gillis are back analyzing another reality dating show. This season’s Love is Blind is on the discussion block in this episode. The Love is Blind experiment attempts to discover if we are able to love somebody without meeting them face-to-face?   Key takeaways from this episode:   Discovering your core values Tacky online dating questions Beauty is subjective Don’t get emotionally invested too soon in the dating process Date more than one person until you have ‘the’ conversation   Discovering Dealbreakers & Non-Negotiables [2:42]   Chris sets up the premise for Love is Blind. The fascinating element of the show is that people are in pods and only have the opportunity to listen to each other. They ask questions to build an avatar about who the other people are. Questions get deep swiftly, avoiding normal surface-level interactions.   Contestants seem to narrow down their five core values quickly proving that initial physical attraction isn't necessary. They end up realizing what they thought was important isn't and unexpected things become insanely attractive. Beauty is subjective.   The contestants on Love is Blind get clear about what they are looking for in a partner.   Tacky Online Dating Questions [7:29]   One girl, Tricia, seems hell-bent on letting everyone know how hot she is and she touts a large Instagram following. It is a great example of someone who looks good on paper but seems too concerned about her data. When she talks about it, it is unattractive and masculine. Marni says, like many women that go through her program, she probably has no idea how it comes across when dating.   Then there is Shane, who keeps asking Shaina what she is wearing. It is gross and unattractive. Shane oversexualizes most things when talking with someone. Sexuality doesn't play well in this environment.   Expectations in Early Dating [23:19]   By the end of the first episode, Shayne, Natalie, and Shaina are in a Love is Blind triangle. Marni extracts real-life dating lessons from the trifecta.   An important point to remember is that when we are at the beginning stages of dating no one owes anyone anything. A common mistake women make is getting overly optimistic instead of cautiously optimistic at the beginning of the dating process. If you like someone it isn’t pleasant to think that they might be dating someone else. People don't want to have ‘the’ conversation yet end up being blindsided when the other person breaks things off to be with another person.   Be honest about where you are in dating and have a conversation if you are unsure where the relationship stands.   Make a Connection: Visit Our Website Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here! Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here! Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates  

Marni welcomes the foremost expert in unhealthy love addiction, Sherry Gaba to the podcast. Sherry is a licensed psychotherapist, life coach, and author who helps women cope with codependency, love addiction, toxic relationships, and all the mental health issues that go with it. Sherry has been featured on VH1 Celebrity Rehab, CNN, Inside Edition, and in Cosmopolitan and the LA Times. Her podcast, The Love Fix focuses on key learnings from her book, Love Smacked.   Key takeaways from this episode:   Signs of love addiction and obsessive love Three types of trauma bonding in relationships Why we attract toxic relationships How to break free from the cycle of love addiction Being vulnerable to love bombers and predators   Am I Addicted to Love? [2:15]   Sherry shares the common signs and symptoms of love addiction. It is a lifestyle process addiction that has the same mood-altering effects as a physical addiction with withdrawal symptoms. If there is a break up it can feel as difficult as overcoming an addiction to drugs.   Many love addicts suffer from severe abandonment issues. They will turn themselves into a pretzel to do the bidding of the people they believe they love because they can't stand to be alone.   How do you know if you are in a toxic relationship? Sherry says the telltale signs are: If you are walking on eggshells, craving their attention and validation, giving up who you are to please them, or second-guessing yourself because of something they tell you. You need to resolve some childhood trauma.   Love-Bombing and Devaluing [8:14]   Sherry describes love bombing as over-the-top courting and lavish gift-giving. Someone who is love bombing you will say your relationship is fated and that you are soul mates. They want to suck you in right away.   The biggest hallmark of love bombers shows up when the other person tries to set a boundary and they won't have it. Someone who legitimately cares will respect your boundaries.   Codependent love addicts are prone to accepting a tsunami of affection because they need validation, and they want to be loved and needed. Sherry says we seek out people that fit into our unresolved childhood traumas.   Trauma Bonding & How to Have Healthy Relationships [22:18]   People get into toxic relationships for a myriad of reasons but a common theme is they feel bonded by trauma. The push and pull of the cycle of love-bombing can feel like trying to get a parent’s attention as a child. Sherry says there is no shame in feeling the way we do. The important thing is that we realize what is happening, get out of the relationship, and find a therapist to help us through our traumas.   To meet someone with a mature attachment style we need to be working toward our mature attraction style.   When we find ourselves in a relationship and a guy suddenly bows out, or doesn’t stay for the long term it could be because he realizes he can’t meet our unhealthy needs.   Make a Connection: Visit Our Website Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here! Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here! Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates Love Smacked: How to Stop the Cycle of Relationship Addiction and Codependency to find Everlasting Love Wake Up Recovery for Toxic Relationships, Codependency and Love Addiction  

Marni welcomes the woman CNBC calls the Millennial Therapist, Tess Brigham to the Life Check Yourself studio. Tess is an expert Psychotherapist, Life Coach, and Public Speaker. For over 10-years, Tess has specialized in helping 20-somethings discover their unique life path so they can make an impact.   Key takeaways from this episode:   Reduce anxiety and overwhelm for young adults How Millennials and Gen Zers can carve their path to happiness What parents shouldn’t tell their young adult children Dating via social media and apps   How Recent Events Have Changed Young People [2:38]   Millennials find themselves in a different space. Many graduated college during the 2008-2009 recession and found themselves unable to afford a house when home prices righted themselves. They are in a tough predicament and some say they have given up trying to get ahead financially.   Gen Zers found themselves coming of age during the pandemic and missing some important milestones in life because the entire world closed down.   Tess believes that it is harder to be a young person today. With the hardest part being the overwhelm they feel. Many feel they must figure everything out and get it right, right now. They believe there is no time to waste when making life decisions. Much of this right here-right now thinking comes from the fast pace of technology, Tess says.   What can they do to get unstuck? — Tess asserts it starts with stopping for a second and taking a look at their life in the current moment. When they assess where they are and ask themselves what is working for them and what is not, it can help them to stop what they are doing and change directions.   Pick an area of life that is not working for you and explore what happens when you try something different. Chat with new people, and push the edges of your comfort zone.   Parents of Young Adults Can Reduce the Anxiety [13:20]   Parents can help their young adult children by letting them know it is okay to let go of the myths of time frames of what they assume they should be doing. Reassure them it is their life to do with what they will. And, there is no better time to start doing things that make them happy.   Young adults can relieve anxiety and overwhelm by:   Taking a break from social media. Doing a life assessment. Looking at life as an exploration. Consider what they need more of to be happy.   Parents avoid asking your adult kids these questions:   Why are you still single? Can you really afford xxx?   Many parents get stuck in the headspace that they are responsible for solving their kids' problems. Teach your children to solve their own problems, let them work out the things they are considering, and don't pressure them to make concrete decisions right now.   If you want to have a different relationship with your child, stop offering your two cents until they ask for it. Cultivate the relationship that makes them want to call you and talk about their lives.   Do Gen Zers’ Hook Up First & Date Later? [24:48]   Social media and dating apps are changing the dating game for young adults. No one uses the phone anymore. Many rely solely on texting to get to know another person, even when many are longing for deep, long-lasting relationships.   Tess says people are not meeting in real life as much as they should be. They use apps so much for relationships, they don't look up to consider people in the real world. Tess thinks millennials and Gen Zers’ are much more separated. Even though all of the interaction prepares them for relationships in life.   Make a Connection: Visit Our Website Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here! Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here! Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates Tess Brigham Coaching