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Financial Dominatrix makes thousands torturing men online, the KKK wants to rebrand, Scottish chick wins Miss Hitler 2016, first death in an autopilot car comes as driver was watching Harry Potter, brawl erupts at Dallas taco joint because of chips and dip

Afghanistan quarantines their only pig, Jersey teacher fired for saying he wanted to "get baked" with "hot" students, BBC in trouble for joking about the Queen of England having sex, Perry Ellis lands endorsement deal with Perry Ellis, Uber now offering hot air balloon rides

India puts 18 Lions on trial for murder, RIP to the 33 inch tall human who played ALF, China wants to do whole body transplants, MMA dude kills himself play Russian Roulette

NYC Professor giving out his semen to women who need a rogue sperm donor, Prisoner sues prison for having to remove marble implants from his penis, woman gets impaled by a umbrella at the beach, Japan bans fat people from their Naked Restaurant, EMS responders wait for their White Castle instead of responding to emergency call, man slaps woman in the face with chicken

Rogue monkey causes nationwide blackout in Kenya, Rabbis say chicks are not allowed to ride bikes anymore, woman pulls gun on a wrestler at a show, Chicago teen confesses to murder on his snapchat, Science Says millennials dont like doing stuff

Russian dude chops off his buddy's dick with an axe in fight over who had the bigger penis, Axl Rose trying to get a fat picture of him removed from Google, Fox in trouble for their poster for X Men showing violence against women, Father challenges his daughter to a gun duel, Donald Trump shouts out "my African American" at his rally

30 mins od Daily Mail featuring stories from everywhere on Earth

Teacher says kids shouldnt watch Harry Potter, Nudists are going extinct because millenials dont like getting naked, dude tries to pay a hooker with a rare primate, Nerd-Off - 4 year old Dinosaur expert vs 15 year old who discovered an ancient Mayan civilization, and dating site matches Canadians with Americans fleeing the country if Trump wins

Science Says your friends dont like you, 5 out of 5 Floridas - guy shoots his brother over cheeseburger dispute, Professor accused of being a terrorist because he did math on the plane, teenager on zip line in Vegas pees on the crowd below him, lying ass 70 yr old woman pretending to be blind says her eyesight is cured after hitting her head

KFC flavored nail polish, Body in Brooklyn with concrete feet washes ashore, Jet Blue gives out free flight for crying babies, people are using anti-diahreha meds to get high

Dude drive 870 miles to get KFC for his wife, Indiana creates baby drop boxes, dude in India sets his mom on fire because she couldnt find him a wife, girl calls her ex boyfriend 300 times in 1 day

Dude in Russia blows himself up with a grenade during drunken argument, Portland fights the war on drugs by giving out free meth pipes, officials are worried that self driving automobiles will lead to more sex in cars, dude arrested after fighting his girlfriend because she wouldnt cuddle while breastfeeding,

North Korea has "pleasure squads" for Kim Jong Un, Saudi cleric says women driving leads to the end of virginity, brewers use belly button lint to make beer, Upstate NY man charged as the Serial Butt Slapper, Ohio city under attack from Serial Pooper

MFK Beyonce, Rachel Roy, Rachael Ray, Johnny Manziel offered a job at a taco joint, German whorehouse offering fans a 15 minute quickie if their soccer team is relegated, 9 year old spends 9 hours in a grocery store for his birthday, woman caught stealing 108 Texas Instruments graphing calculators

Dude arrested for putting soda in his water cup at McDs, Doctor mails it in and tells his patients to google medical advice, Cube Monkey makes Lego videos of murdering his coworkers, London opens up nude dining restaurant, man threatens to kill the tiger that killed the Tiger Whisperer

Chick addicted to sex 10 times a day loses her job and friends, genes can decide when you lose your virginity, male midwife tells pregnant chicks to give more oral sex, dude tries to marry his laptop protesting same sex marriage, FedEx employee mailtimes so hard he falls asleep and ends up in Texas

Olympian swimming charged with assault for tweaking a male passenger's nipple, self proclaimed "Tiger Whisperer" mauled to death by a tiger, woman leaves her 9 month old in the car while auditioning to be a stripper, Swedish director releasing a movie that is 30 DAYS long, bartender sues her boss for making her work sex parties

People find painting worth $135 mil in the attic, chick gets 16 teeth pulled at the dentist and dies, women are letting their husbands cheat now, dude denied from swingers event because he didnt have enough references, cube monkey accidentally deletes his entire company with wrong computer code

UK government is afraid of everyone trying anal sex, South Korea sex pills-for-votes scandal, clowns attack mother and daughter in a parking lot with sex toys, NY State institutes a "textalyzer," and Science Says how often we should be having sex

top 10 creepiest professions, teacher says its ok she had sex with students because their grades went up, identical twins married identical twins and now they are getting plastic surgery to tell them apart, China has invented a fart detector, and dude gets ALL of this teeth pulled out by accident at the dentist