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Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast
7 minutes | Jun 9, 2021
Ep – 34 How to Define Your Daughter’s Ideal Tribe – Because One Size Doesn’t Fit All
Hey parents, I wanted to share a personal conversation I had with a dear friend I’ve known for over 30 years because she raised a great question that’s relatable to anyone raising teens. My girlfriend and I met when we were in the thick of our teenage years and now, we’re both raising teens, so we naturally we found ourselves talking about all the social complexities teens experience, particularly when it comes to concept of defining your daughter’s ideal “tribe.”I’m so grateful my girlfriend brought up this issue because, honestly, as a new podcaster, it’s really easy to get caught up in what the experts say you’re supposed to do to have a successful podcast. The Proverbial Box Between you and I, I’ve never thrived when I’ve had to operate inside the ‘proverbial’ box. And when it comes to defining a tribe that feels good to your daughter – that doesn’t fit inside a box either. Which may cause some confusion if she’s comparing her interests to what she sees on her media platforms. Because the larger and fancier the group photo, the more she may think … huge tribe = happiness. But deep down, we all know that what we think we need isn’t always what we really need. The Million Dollar Question And that’s why I’d like to ask you … how does YOUR daughter define her tribe? Find the full Podcast Episode, including what you can do as parents, at cultivatingresilientteens.comLastly, one of the best parts of this podcast is YOU. And our community is growing quickly.It’s super cool to see you’re listening across the globe because we all share this common trait – we’re stronger when we feel connected to one another.So, if you’d take a moment and post one strategy you’ve found helpful on the iTunes podcast app, that would be awesome.Your interaction helps other parents, just like us, find the show.Okay, that’s all for today.I look forward to connecting with you next time.Podcast Resources:Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?Episode #18 2 Key Elements Your Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social Scenarios
8 minutes | Jun 2, 2021
Ep - 33 Deactivate Your Daughter’s Self-Doubt with this Secret Formula
Hey Parents, does your teenage daughter doubt herself or feel like there’s something fundamentally wrong with her when things don’t work out?It’s so easy to weave the “Ugh, what’s wrong with ME?” narrative into an emotionally triggering situation.The Good NewsThe good news is, there’s an effective way for your daughter to deactivate doubt, get stronger and feel more self-confident. Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast where you can find the full show notes at cultivatingresilientteens.com.What’s Really Going On? So, as we move into the summer months, whether your daughter will be part of a new clubcampteam OR is planning to be more of a free-range chicken and in charge of her daily activities, it’s worth taking the time to continue to learn about her developing sense of self and how to design healthy social scenarios. Because, understanding how she sees herself, what she thinks about herself and how she talks to and about herself will give you the clues YOU NEED to empower her to build her confidence, integrity and resilience for all of life’s adventures.The Figure it Out FormulaThe secret in the secret formula is this – it takes you right to the heart of the matter. And getting to the heart of the matter will help keep your daughter out of the weeds.The Figure it Out Formula goes like this … turn your left palm over so it’s facing upwards.Find the 5 Steps to the complete show notes, including The Figure it Out Formula on my website, https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/podcast/Podcast Resources:Ep – 27 3 Insights Every Teenage Girl Needs to Ace Tricky Social SituationsEp – 28 How to Break Free from Thinking Errors that Wreck Your Daughter’s ConfidenceEp 29 - A Bite-Sized Solution to Protect your Daughter’s Most Important Asset
7 minutes | May 12, 2021
Ep - 32 The Power of Having a Plan
Hey Parents,Does your teenage daughter have a plan to stay confident and mentally clear when she’s emotionally triggered?After making a very long list on a giant piece of paper, the teenage girls in my social media group just sat back with that deer-in-headlights look.I think they were more stunned than I was at the list they’d created.The task was to identify all the all the “parts” of social media they deal with on a daily basis.What confuses them.What makes them feel bad.And, what’s fun, too.We definitely didn’t want to forget about the fun stuff, because being able to instantly connect with your friends can be great.And seeing each other on the map is pretty cool, too. Well, except when it’s not.Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast.Having a PlanWhere today we’re going to offer your daughter a 3 Step Road Map to navigate the ups and downs of her media relationships so she can keep a strong sense of self and continue to design healthy social scenarios.Because as parents, you know, it’s a rough ride for everyone when your daughter:· discovers her tribe has assembled without her · or someone she’s reached out to is active but not respondingWe obviously didn’t have these devices when you and I were teens.Though, that deep gut punching feeling you get when you’ve been betrayed by someone in your tribe hasn’t changed.And having the ability to manage all those big emotions doesn’t just magically happen.So, let’s give your daughter a step-by-step plan so she can interact on her social platforms while maintaining a strong sense of self and designing healthy social scenarios.Please take the time to share the 3 Step Road Map with your daughter, you'll be glad you did.Find the 3 Steps and the full Show Notes on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.comPodcast Resources:Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?Episode #18 2 Key Elements Your Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social ScenariosQuote from Oprah “You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.”90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program
8 minutes | May 5, 2021
Ep - 31 Will a Growth Mindset Make Life Easier for Your Teenage Daughter?
Hey Parents,Have you ever asked your daughter how she’s doing and heard something like … “it’s complicated” or “you won’t understand!”As you’re working through the ‘letting go’ and ‘losing control’ part of raising a teenager (two of the toughest parts if you ask me), getting a non-answer when you’re trying to connect is tough because:it feels like it widens the divideand pulls heavily on your heartstringsAs a parent of teens, I get it.Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast, it’s an honor to spend this time with you.If you’re feeling like you haven’t quite found a solution to how to empower your daughter to build confidence, integrity and resilience for all of life’s adventures, this episode is for you.And hopefully it’ll make it easier for you and your daughter to learn and grow together, too.Signature SystemAfter years of working with teens and their families, I think you’ll see that the 4 Steps to Cultivating a Resilient Teen:Developing a strong sense of selfCreating meaningful educational experiencesDesigning healthy social scenariosFostering a connective family lifeNot only offer your daughter the tools she needs to step into her personal power, recognize when to lead and when to follow, and mitigate the negative effects of social media.They also help you learn how to navigate these teen rites of passage.If you’re not familiar with my signature system, the 4 Steps to Cultivating a Resilient Teen, you’ll find more information and the full show notes for this podcast on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com.What’s HappeningOkay, here’s the downlow on … “it’s complicated” or “you won’t understand.”The likelihood that these statements are true, is pretty high.It’s less about trying to drive you crazy or push you away, and more about your daughter feeling overwhelmed and confused herself.And as a caring, resourceful and hardworking parent, you likely encourage your daughter to be a critical thinker in order to solve her problems.Critical thinking is an essential life skill.But sometimes relationships are messy, and miscommunications happen - and there’s not a clear answer or approach.You may even see the wheels turning as your daughter attempts to figure out or fix her situation.And recognize that she's caught in a negative thought loop, which, as you know, isn’t helpful.If you’re not familiar with how negative thought loops influence your daughter’s mood and motivation, you may want to familiarize yourself with the top 6 thinking errors in Ep – 28 How to Break Free from Thinking Errors that Wreck Your Daughter’s Confidence.It's a DanceSo here you are, trying to connect with and support your daughter, but you’re not sure whether to step in or step back – a bit of a dance.Find out if a growth mindset will make life easier for your daughter, as well as, learn how to dance with agility and grace. Get the complete show notes on my website, Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast. Podcast ResourcesLife’s Random Bits | Parenting is Like Dancing | 9.7.2017Mindset: The New Psychology of Success | Carol Dweck5 Keys to the Right Mindset for Growth and Success | Bob Choat | 7.3.2015Episode #2 How to Raise a Socially Intelligent and Resilient Teenager
7 minutes | Apr 27, 2021
Ep - 30 Does your Teenage Daughter Want to be More Resilient? Here’s a Solution.
Hey Parents,Is your teenage daughter “freaking out” about what’s next?You’re probably noticing that spring fever is in the air, which undoubtedly signals one thing - transitions are on the horizon. Whether it’s her transition into middle school, high school, college or beyond, you’re likely seeing any number of behavioral changes in your daughter.Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens podcast, where you can always find the full Show Notes and resources for every podcast episode at cultivatingresilientteens.comThe ProblemAlthough we’re being kinda playful about your daughter “freaking out” about what’s next, we know you’ve been through some tough times, and that stress and anxiety are at an all-time high for teenagers.According to Dr. Sarah McKay, Author of The Women’s’ Brain Book: The Neuroscience of Health, Hormones and Happiness, “We all respond to stress in a variety of ways, and whether an event is a ‘stressor’ varies from person to person.” And Dr. McKay goes on to say that “We feel stressed when real or imagined pressures exceed or perceived ability to cope.”Everything You NeedSo, today we’re offering a simple Formula that will boost your daughter’s resilience by giving her what she needs to make calm, logical and confident decisions about her future.If you’ve been listening for a while, you’ve heard us lovingly nudge your daughter to devote some quality time to developing a strong sense of self.Because, as parents, you know that a strong sense of self will likely: - steer your daughter away from “iffy” or “risky” social situations- help her avoid iceberg beliefsthat can sabotage relationship- and help her create a path that promotes personal growthOkay, now … let’s imagine for a minute, that your daughter wakes up every morning READY for whatever comes her way - would it be worth it?Everyone wants to bounce back from life’s challenges and detours, and we bet your daughter feels that way, too.And, if you’re familiar with the saying that “worrying is like a rocking chair: it will give you something to do but you won’t get you anywhere.”Simple A-B-C FormulaYou’ll see that the three critical actions in the A-B-C Formula enable your daughter make calm, logical and confident decisions about her future – truly, the best way for her to bounce back!It’s easier than you may think so head over to my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com and get the three critical actions - and cultivate a more resilient teenager.Podcast Resources: Dr. Sara McKay |The Women’s’ Brain Book: The Neuroscience of Health, Hormones and Happiness Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?Ep – 28 How to Break Free from Thinking Errors that Wreck Your Daughter’s Confidence
8 minutes | Apr 20, 2021
Ep 29 A Bite-Sized Solution to Protect your Daughter’s Most Important Asset
Hey Parents, What’s your daughter most important asset?Welcome back the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast.Today we’re diving in a little deeper to an issue we touched on in last week’s podcast, Ep – 28 How to Break Free from Thinking Errors that Wreck Your Daughter’s Confidence.Because, interestingly, even though your daughter may think she’s the only feeling one insecure or being left out, I promise you that no one is immune to those tricky thought errors we talked about last week.Thought Error #5Especially Thought Error #5, using “labels” to classify herself or others, can really be detrimental to your daughter’s growth.So, today we’re offering a bite-sized solution to protect your daughter’s most important asset – her sense of self.As we’ve talked about in previous episodes, developing a strong sense of self is one of the most important ways to empower your teenage daughter to build confidence, integrity and resilience for all of her adventures in life.Think About it This WayBecause when you think about it, every single thing she says and does – her attitude, her happiness, her motivation, her relationships, her success – all revolve around how your daughter:sees herselfwhat she thinks about herselfand how she talks TO and ABOUT herselfSo, building a solid personal foundation, or a strong sense of self, will enable her to understand critical thought habits and patterns. 4 Steps to Cultivating a Resilient TeenAnd right now, your daughter’s life is primarily influenced by, what I refer to as, the 4 Steps to Cultivating a Resilient Teen:her sense of selfhow meaningful her educational experiences arethe nature of your parent / daughter connectionAnd her social network – the people she surrounds herselfSo, if your daughter’s life experiences and the people she’s around are throwing around labels, to classify her, or others, it’s going to influence how she sees herself and talks to and about herself.Due to the negative emotions “labeling” brings up, we’re focusing instead on how to equip your daughter with the GRIT and GUMPTION she needs to win this war-on-words.The Heart of the MatterSo, let’s get to the heart of the matter with two thoughtful questions ...Find the complete Show Notes on my website, https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/podcast/ Podcast ResourcesEp – 28 How to Break Free from Thinking Errors that Wreck Your Daughter’s ConfidenceEpisode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?90 Minutes to Clarity and Strategies that Work90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program
8 minutes | Apr 13, 2021
Ep - 28 How to Break Free from Thinking Errors that Wreck Your Daughter’s Confidence
Hey parents,Is your teenage daughter a hard worker who gets frustrated and feels defeated when things don’t go her way?If mind management sounds like some type of voo-doo, though you see your daughter repeating the same behaviors over and over, but expects a different result, this podcast is for her.Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast where you can find the full show notes on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.comToday’s episode is inspired by an incredibly ambitious, bright, and determined past client who knew exactly what she wanted.But there was just one ‘key element’ missing.And no matter how hard she tried, she continued to find herself back where she started.But let’s not be too hard on her because the key element that kept her stuck isn’t a core competency you learn in school. And standardized testing dismisses it, too. However, this element definitely has an impact on your daughter’s performance.So today we’re going to introduce the 6 most common thinking errors that may wreck your daughter’s confidence.And, how to break free with 2 Strategies that work.Let’s start with the 6 thinking errors the teenage girls in my private coaching practice say are the hardest to handle.1.) Believing it’s always “All or Nothing”All or nothing sounds like:I’m never the one who gets picked to lead the project2.) “Catastrophizing” her situationsCatastrophizing sounds like:This is so stressful because if I don’t say the right thing, everyone’s going to think I’m weird3.) “Shoulding” all over herselfShoulding sounds like:I should eat lunch with those girls because if I don’t, they’ll think I’m rude Get information about the additional thought errors that wreck your daughter's confidence and 2 Strategies that Work on my website Cultivating Resilient Teens PodcastBecause if you take anything away from our conversation today, it’s that developing strong sense of self is one of the greatest gifts your daughter can give herself.And developing a strong sense of self begins with observing your thinking habits and patterns and the effect they have on your behavior, choices, relationships and mood.Podcast Resources: Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching ProgramEp – 24 How to Help Your Teenage Daughter Develop What Really MattersEpisode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?The Teenage Brain and COVID. Telling Stories Might Help | Dr. Sarah Mckay | March 25, 2021
8 minutes | Apr 6, 2021
Ep 27 3 Insights Every Teenage Girls Needs to Ace Tricky Social Situations
Hey Parents,Does your teenage daughter feel like she has to choose between being liked or being respected?Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast where we’re going to offer a “Short, Sweet and Spot On” episode, as listener Me and Xoxo, shared in a recent iTunes podcast review.Thank you, Me and Xoxo, for taking the time to share your thoughts and for being part of the Cultivating Resilient Teens community!Okay, let’s get to it, because I want to clear up the myth that your daughter has to choose between being liked or respected.One of my clients shared that a ‘Who are You?’ style check list has been going around social media.The list had multiple boxes where you check off things you’ve done or that apply to you personally.And although it didn’t seem like that big of a deal at first, my client not only felt like she was pigeon-holing herself into a misconstrued persona, but there was a whole lot of judgment coming out of this seemingly harmless activity.My client understood that she had the choice to participate or pass, but she said the social pressure felt really intense. And one of her friends teased her by saying … “Just fill it out, I mean, what do you have to hide?Ah, I’m here to tell you, these tricky social situations aren’t easy to navigate for teenage girls.What You Can Do InsteadAs we talked about in last week’s podcast Ep – 26 How to Support Your Daughter When Her Friendships Are Falling ApartYour daughter’s style of communication matters:· how she talks to and about herself · and how she talks to and about her friendsAnd, if your daughter’s put in a situation where she feels pressured to share personal information that that seems intrusive and downright uncomfortable, we want to equip her with the tools that’ll help her stay confident, in her integrity, and strengthen her resilience.3 Insights to Ace Tricky Social SituationsIn order to prevent or de-escalate the drama that comes from tricky social situations, we’re going to share 3 Insights that will help your daughter tap into her personal power.Because even though the “What do you have to hide?” situation seemed playful, my client didn’t want to pigeonhole herself into a certain persona or share information she considered personal. Feeling liked and respected is an inside job. Learning to say what you mean and mean what you say in a clear, respectful and assertive manner will keep your daughter out of unnecessary drama.Who your daughter wants to be, desires to become, and what she wants to share with the world is her choice, period. Yes, learning how to design healthy social scenarios is perhaps one of the most important rites-of-passage your daughter will encounter over the next few years.So, equipping her with effective navigation skills are worth her time and effort. Full Show Notes and Podcast Resources can be found at, https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/Ep – 26 How to Support Your Daughter When Her Friendships Are Falling Apart How to Raise a Socially Intelligent and Resilient Teenager 5 Simple Questions That Will Set Your Teenager Up for Success
9 minutes | Mar 30, 2021
Ep - 26 How to Support Your Daughter When Her Friendships are Falling Apart
Hey Parents, is friendship drama causing major emotional distress for your teenage daughter?Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens podcast where we’ve talked a lot about how teenage girls are passionate problem solvers. But, as you know, there’s another side to the coin. So, we’re going to bravely and compassionately explore what the other side looks and feels like because if your daughter feels emotionally wounded or is utterly confused and in tears by her friend’s behavior, we want to help you through this.It’s not unusual for my clients to talk about increased friend drama this time of year, as Springtime seems to invite a sense of newness, adventure and increased opportunities to socialize outside of school and home. Key ResourcesTricky social situations often cause teenage girls to be really hard on themselves, so in podcast Episode #18 2 Key Elements Your Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social Scenarioswe tackle a topic that’s sometimes overwhelming and painful for teenage girls – how to build authentic, fun and healthy friendships. Because as Dr. Christine Carter shares in her book, The New Adolescence: Raising Happy and Successful Teens in an Age of Anxiety and Distraction, “Connection is the most important predictor of happiness that we have. It’s the most consistent finding that we have in a hundred or so years of research. Our overall wellbeing is predicted by both the breadth and depth of our real-life connections.”A Better WayAnd, because it’s important for me to be transparent AND remind you that tough, humble situations can also offer deep personal opportunities to grow – when you’re ready – I want to share a quick story with you. Once upon a time I was asked to talk to a group of teens about the importance of creating a more cohesive group environment because, as Dr. Carter’s research shows, authentic connections help everyone thrive. But I mistakenly assumed that because the coaches desired a more cohesive environment, the athletes did too. Needless to say, it didn’t matter how well constructed my message was, there were two key ingredients missing: 1. Readiness 2. Trust So, before you guide your daughter through the tumultuous teen-girl-friendship-waters, pause and ask yourself ...Find the FULL podcast Show Notes on my website cultivatingresilientteens.com and give your daughter the support she needs to navigate these rough waters.Podcast Resources:Episode #18 2 Key Elements Your Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social Scenarios Dr. Christine Carter shares in her book, The New Adolescence: Raising Happy and Successful Teens in an Age of Anxiety and Distraction Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?Quote: “These times can define us, diminish us, or develop us.” | Jim Kwik | Author of Limitless: Upgrade Your Brain, Learn Anything Faster, and Unlock Your Exceptional Life | Founder and CEO of Kwik Learning Quote: Assertive communication Book: Fighting Invisible Tigers: A Stress Management Guide for Teens | Author Earl Hipp
8 minutes | Mar 16, 2021
Ep - 25 4 Powerful Ways Your Teenage Daughter Can Help a Friend Who’s Struggling
Hey parents,Is your daughter – or someone she knows – struggling right now? As a parent it can be hard to know when to step in and when to step back.But, staying silent may send the wrong message.So, what can you do when in those tricky moments when you’re just not sure?Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens podcast where we’re going to share 4 Powerful Ways Your Teenage Daughter Can Help a Friend Who’s Struggling, because quite honestly, it’s not always easy or clear to know what to do or say.Especially because we’re all still weary from doing our best to get through the pandemic, that, as “one 16-year-old said of the generation’s pivotal moment: “Making history is way overrated.”According to a recent article in The New York Times, over five thousand young people wrote in to describe how the pandemic affected their lives and the collective sentiment was, well, consistent with what I saw in my private coaching practice.The Times states, “Being a teenager in the U.S. during the pandemic was lonely, disorienting, depressing and suffocating.”So, if your daughter or someone she knows is struggling, she’s not alone.And, although we’re making progress, we’re not out of the woods just yet.Healthy Relationships As we’ve talked about before, one of the beautiful qualities of teenage girls is, they are passionate about helping each other.The hard part is, sometimes, healthy boundaries get blurred in the process.When your daughter’s talking with a friend who’s struggling, she may:· Feel like she needs to “fix” her friend’s tough situation· Take on her friend’s stress because she believes that makes her a better friend· Struggle with her own thoughts and emotions about what’s happening· Indulge in or catastrophize the situation and create a mountain out of molehillBut, what’s most important for your daughter to understand is that healthy relationships are built on honesty, trust and being vulnerable together - NOT by taking on her friends’ problems OR feeling responsible for a solution. Be on the LookoutIf you notice a significant change in your daughter’s mood or appearance after she interacts with a friend who’s having trouble, it’s okay to recognize her effort and express your concern for your daughter’s well-being.You may say something like, “I admire your effort to be a good friend to Ella, though, I’m concerned about your well-being and how hard you may be taking this. Please let me know if YOU need someone to talk to.”Get the 4 Powerful Ways your daughter can help her friend and all of today's resources in the Show Notes on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com.Podcast Resources:https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/14/briefing/one-year-in-a-pandemic.html?auth=linked-googleOne Year in a Pandemic: Your Weekend Briefing | A special edition looking at a yar of living with disruption and pain | By Remy Tumin and Jeremiah M. Bogert, Jr. | March 14, 2021Ep – 24 How to Help Your Teenage Daughter Develop What Really Matters
7 minutes | Mar 9, 2021
Ep - 24 How to Help Your Teenage Daughter Develop What Really Matters
Hey Parents,What do the happiest teens have in common?We all have defining moments in life when we stop and think - seriously, what’s this all about?So, picture this … a line of 6th graders nervously perched in the front of the classroom. It’s time for the annual Spelling Bee.My name was called first.I gasped.The rest is a blur, well, except for laughter echoing around me.Which is why Jim Kwik, is one of my favorite resources because he reminds us, “These times can define us, diminish us, or develop us.”Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens podcast, episode #24.Where we’re excited to give your daughter what she needs to develop her confidence, integrity and resilience for all of life’s adventures, rather than feeling defined or diminished by the all the social influences, inequalities, and labels (ug, the labels!).In my private coaching practice, where I work with teenage girls from 12 years to twenty something, all over the US – there’s definitely pattern. Maybe you’re seeing this pattern too?It begins around the fifth grade; you see your daughter’s environment begin to infiltrate her sense of self and limit her potential. The Power of WordsIf you think about it like this … when your daughter hears things like:· “She deserved it” · “You’re so basic”· “Omg, that was an epic failure”It’s not easy to stand tall and design healthy social scenarios where she can thrive.Often times a concept referred to as Confirmation Bias sneaks in and offers evidence, albeit biased and irrational, to support any negative, self-defeating thoughts.And then, without really knowing – and maybe even without her consent – these thoughts become your daughters’ beliefs.A Better WaySo, I ask you, if your daughter knew how to take life’s defining moments and allow them to develop her confidence and resilience and heighten her integrity … would she be up for it?If you’re listening every week, you’re probably familiar with my Signature Coaching Program, 90 Days to a More Resilient Teen, where we tap into the four steps to cultivate a resilient teen.One of the most important steps for teenage girls is developing a strong sense of self.So if you’re a new listener, you may want to take a minute and grab the 3-2-1 Method in Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?For access to the FULL Show Notes, please visit my website, https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/ You'll be glad you did, because when your daughter’s mind is clear, developing a strong sense of self is easy. And when it feels easy, it flows.And when it flows, it feels good.And when it feels good – it sticks.Focusing on what’s most important and then taking inspired action will stick.And that’s how you empower your teenage daughter to build confidence, integrity and resilient for all of life’s adventures. Until next week, remember, every experience you have is perfect for your growth.Podcast Resources:Book: Limitless; Upgrade Your Brain, Learn Anything Faster, and Unlock Your Exceptional Life | Author Jim Kwik | Founder and CEO of Kwik Learning
8 minutes | Feb 23, 2021
Ep – 23 Your Teen Daughter’s Toughest Social Challenge – Her Frenemy!
Hey Parents,Are you sometimes bewildered by your daughter’s friendships?This might be a little TMI, but as a sensitive teenage girl learning how to navigate the complexities of the teen girl social network, I discovered pretty quickly that there were certain people I wasn’t gonna let see ME sweat.Because being vulnerable was considered a weakness. But it turns out, that keeping certain things securely under lock and key weren’t quite as easy as I’d hoped. So, I ask you, what happens when your daughter’s toughest social challenge, her frenemy, is part of her tribe?Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast episode #23.Where we’re going to talk about two social pitfalls your daughter will want to avoid and the one simple skill that’ll keep her socially strong and steady. The FrenemyFirst, let’s touch on what a frenemy is and what it looks like for teenage girls.A ‘frenemy’ is defined as “a person that is friendly toward another because the relationship brings benefits, but harbors feelings of resentment or rivalry.” (Dictionary.com)Does this sound familiar to you? If it doesn’t, BUT, you see your daughter always trying to “fix” her social situations, you may want to share a popular article from my website, Cultivating Resilient Teens, titled, 4 Powerful Ways Your Teenage Daughter Can Help A Friend Who’s StrugglingBecause although teenage girls are passionate about helping each other, sometimes, even with the best intentions, helpful approaches can backfire. If you’re wondering …is my daughter experiencing a frenemy-like relationship, here are two examples that’ll help make sense of the frenemy dynamic.1. The frenemy is super nice when she wants to impress others, or the members in her tribe, because of the “perceived” social benefits. 2. But one-on-one or in a small group setting where there aren’t any “perceived” social benefits, the frenemy is often manipulative, overly critical, and sometimes downright verbally unkind.The hard part is this behavior is often the result of resentment or rivalry.The good news is, if you pull back the layers of resentment and rivalry, the emotions are there to help you learn and grow.That’s why we offer 3 Actionable Solutions to stop feeling jealous and create what you really want in Podcast Episode #21.Because for passionate, connection seeking teens, this is tough stuff. Find the full Show Notes on my website, https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/Although the teen girl world is complex, can be really confusing and sometimes get ugly, please remember there’s always an opportunity for your daughter to learn and grow by tuning in to her thoughts with compassion. Podcast Resources:4 Powerful Ways Your Teenage Daughter Can Help A Friend Who’s StrugglingEp -21 How to Stop Being Jealous and Teach Your Daughter to Create What She Really Wants with 3 Actionable SolutionsQuote: Eleanor Roosevelt “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”Quote: Dr. Kristin Neff “When we give ourselves compassion
7 minutes | Feb 16, 2021
Ep – 22 The Secret That Could End Your Daughter’s Teenage Angst Listener Q and A
Hey Parents,Have you heard?Last week’s podcast Episode #21 "How to Stop Being Jealous and Teach Your Daughter to Create What She Really Wants with 3 Actionable Solutions" seems to have let the cat out of the bag, so to speak.It sparked a lot of honest and vulnerable conversations because, as parents you know that:the painful emotions that come up around jealousy and the feelings of defeat that the comparison gremlins bring oncan be especially hard for teenage girls.But the good news is, your daughter doesn't have to feel debilitated by these big emotions.Today's podcast episode #22 will help your daughter see:she's not aloneand give her what SHE needs to feel confident enough to take inspired action.And, handle life's adversities and adventures with integrity.None of us are immune to feeling big emotions - especially the ANGST that comes from jealousy and comparison.That’s why we’re sharing the ANSWERS to the two key questions that came out of episode #21.Q: “What do you mean when you say, don’t be afraid of your emotions?”Q: “What can you do to stay calm the moment, when you feel super jealous?”Your daughter deserves to have simple, doable actions that will move her from stuck to clear minded to motivated.Watching your daughter bloom is one of the greatest gifts a parent gets to experience.Let’s make sure your daughter has what she needs.In this together,Shawna :)Did you miss Ep. 21? LISTEN IN: Ep -21 How to Stop Being Jealous and Teach Your Daughter to Create What She Really Wants with 3 Actionable SolutionsPodcast Resources:Ep -21 How to Stop Being Jealous and Teach Your Daughter to Create What She Really Wants with 3 Actionable Solutions90 Days to a More Resilient TeenEpisode #14 Your Top Question for 2020 Answered “How Can I Help My Teenage Daughter Feel More Confident?”Discover: Is Your Teen Daughter Resilient Enough for All of Life’s Adventures?
8 minutes | Feb 9, 2021
Ep -21 How to Stop Being Jealous and Teach Your Daughter to Create What She Really Wants with 3 Actionable Solutions
Hey Parents, Is it possible for your daughter to stop comparing herself and create what SHE really wants?Yes - that's the good news.However, I'm hearing A LOT from my private coaching clients that the vast majority of teenage girls are in need of simple, actionable solutions to create:a stronger sense of selfmore happiness with who she isand true connections with her peersBecause there's a detrimental combination going on ...comparison + assumptions = confidence killerAs parents, you know there's a natural curiosity to look around and assess yourself with others.The challenge here, is that so many teenage girls are comparing themselves so deeply that they're losing the ability to discover who they are and what makes them happy.And the excessive self-criticism and irrational thoughts are causing embarrassing, socially anxious symptoms, such as:upset stomachshaky voicedifficulty talkingblushingIf your daughter experiences a situation similar to this, chances are, she'll go back to looking for connection on-line, where the comparison trap re-starts this vicious cycle. And rather than telling your daughter, “you’re just as smart, pretty or athletic as so-and-so.”Grab the 3 Actionable Solutions, the work of two renowned authors and researchers, and give your daughter the tools she needs to create what SHE really wants.Podcast Resources:Dr. Susan David | Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change and Thrive in Work and LifeDr. John Media | Brain Rules: 12 Principles for Surviving and Thriving at Work, Home and SchoolYouTube Video | Marie Forleo with Catherine Collautt, Ph.D. | 4 Steps to Overcome a Devastating SetbackEpisode #20 Have You Figured Out Where Your Sweet Little Girl is Going? Two New Resources That’ll Help Ease Her Journey into Adulthood
8 minutes | Feb 2, 2021
Ep - 20 Have You Figured Out Where Your Sweet Little Girl is Going? Two New Resources That’ll Help Ease Her Journey into Adulthood
Hey Parents, Have you figured out where your sweet little girl is going?That's not a trick question.But, I'll admit, it can be a little tricky to answer.When I recorded my first podcast, Episode #1 Are You Wondering Where Your Sweet Little Girl Went? 5 Hints to Solve the Mystery I wasn't sure anyone would even listen to it. Though, it seems to be a fan favorite, and I'm thinking it may be because as your daughter:begins to build her tribe outside the family and emphatically engages you in “discussions” regarding your parenting approachyou’re thinking, “oh boy, what now?”But I want to assure you that, just like the 5 hints in episode one helped you get a much-needed glimpse into your daughter's teen-girl world, the Two New Resources we’re offering today will help ease her transition into adulthood.If your daughter is like most teens, you’re likely seeing her: exploring her true identity trying out different personasand stretching (or retracting) her wings It’s no secret that the self-discovery road isn’t always smooth sailin.’ It certainly wasn’t for me.Though, as your daughter develops a strong sense of self, it’ll make it a little easier and safer to try out new friend groups and activitiesAnd because, simple tools that feel doable promote lasting growth, I'm excited to share today’s two new resources with you:Finding your FlowDitching Habitual AutopilotThey're designed to help your daughter gather all the great gems on her path to adulthood.Go ahead and head over to my website, https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/ for the full Podcast and complete Show Notes.Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen,Shawna :)Podcast Resources:Episode #1 Are You Wondering Where Your Sweet Little Girl Went? 5 Hints to Solve the MysteryEpisode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?Article in Vice.com | Why You Should Talk to Yourself in the Third Person | by Shayla Love | 12.28.2020 | YouTube Video | Marie Forleo with Catherine Collautt, Ph.D. | 4 Steps to Overcome a Devastating Setback
9 minutes | Jan 26, 2021
Ep - 19 What are the 3 Superpower’s You Need to Foster a Connective Family Life (hint: you already possess them!)
Hey Parents,If you were to describe your family in one word, what would it be?I still remember my nervous excitement the day I went in to talk with my doctor about my husband and I starting a family.And her response wasn’t what I expected.She said … “So, you’re ready to give up your 'sick days' for the rest of forever?”Oh, I hadn’t quite thought of it like that.Nor did I have any idea about how dynamic raising a family would be – especially the teenage years!Because, as you know, and you’ve probably heard this before … it’s exciting to watch your daughter grow into her own person, AND it’s hard to let go and lose control. Welcome back to Episode #19Today’s conversation wraps up my Signature Coaching System, 4 Steps to Cultivate Resilient Teens.If you haven’t yet listened to the 3 previous episodes:· Episode #18 2 Key Elements Your Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social Scenarios· Episode #17 2 Key Tips Every Teen Needs to Create a Meaningful Educational Experience· Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?I think you’ll find them helpful because cultivating a resilient teen is a bit like solving a puzzle – and the previous episodes include pieces you’ll need.Fostering a Connective Family LifeOkay, today we’re inviting you to:· dust off your parenting superpowers - whether you’ve forgotten where they are or they’re covid fatigued· and reignite your mojo – those innate gifts that reside in your hard working, dedicated parenting heartBecause after years of doing this work, I’ve identified two core family values that, when present, foster a connective family life.1. Having a home environment where everyone can be themselves2. Learning how to find common ground (aka - learning how to peacefully navigate the endless differences of opinion)Getting stuck in the WeedsBut there are a few sticky points that are worth mentioning.Most people enter into a conversation thinking they’re right and the other person is wrong. So, naturally your daughter may think … if only you would see things the way she does, there’d be peace in the valley. And you think, if only she’d listen to you and see the bigger picture – she could save herself a lot of grief and potential pitfalls. And before you know it, words of disagreement are a flyin’ and emotions are a blazin’ – as you both try your best to change the other person’s perspective.And, if you’re like most families, you find yourselves stuck in the weeds and miles away from your key issue or a solution.3 Superpower’s You Need to Foster a Connective Family Life Believe me, I get it.As a parent I’ve made my fair share of mistakes – and I’m not immune to ups and downs.However, it’s not helpful or healthy to repeat the same mistakes. And you definitely don’t want to let anger or yelling become your knee-jerk reaction.So, let’s go over the 3 Superpower’s you need to Foster A Connective Family Life (spoiler alert: you already possess them!)Head over to my website, Cultivating Resili
10 minutes | Jan 19, 2021
Episode 18 2 Key Elements Your Teenage Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social Scenarios
Hey Parents,What’s the one thing your daughter has in common with millions of teenage girls around the world?Every morning when she reaches for her phone - she shares one unmistakable intention! In this weeks podcast, we tackle a topic that can sometimes feel overwhelming and painful for teeange girls (and their parents!)How to build authentic, fun, healthy friendships.As parents of teenage girls, you’re probably noticing that finding and keeping good friends IS the name of the game right now.Designing healthy social scenarios is one of the most important rites-of-passage your daughter will encounter over the next few years. And, the good news is, she CAN learn how to build friendships that feel safe and good to her. But first, she'll need to know what the two biggest elements that have the power to derail or create a great connection.Sorting facts from FictionBeing authentically youYou'll want to LISTEN IN > 2 Key Elements Your Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social ScenariosHere's to cultivating a more resilient teen,Shawna :)PS - Have you heard? “I love that the Cultivating Resilient Teens podcast is short enough for busy parents to digest in bits. It’s so helpful to take in a smaller amount of information and apply it instead of feeling overwhelmed by hearing all about the things I should be doing and feeling incapacitated.”Podcast Resources:Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?How to Raise a Socially Intelligent and Resilient Teenager5 Simple Questions That Will Set Your Teenager Up for SuccessCharles Schultz, “Be yourself, no one can say you’re doing it wrong.”Book: Steal the Show by New York Times Best-Selling author Michael PortYou'll find the full show notes on my website, https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/
10 minutes | Jan 12, 2021
Episode #17 2 Key Tips Every Teen Needs to Create a Meaningful Educational Experience
Hey Parents,Is something really good about to happen for your teenage daughter?Welcome back to Episode #17Where we’re diving into part two, creating meaningful educational experiences, of the four-part series that addresses my signature coaching system, 4 steps to cultivating resilient teens.Because, as parents, how many times have you thought …I just want my daughter to be happy and live up to her greatest potential - I know she has what it takes!But creating a meaningful educational experience isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach.There are several variables that come into play, such as, your daughter’s … Learning environmentApproach or style of learningHer sense of self (the first of this series in case you missed it)And her past experiencesAnd the list goes on.But guess what?You’re right, your daughter has what it takes to reach her full academic potential.And we’re going to identify two blocks that get in the way for most teenagers and offer you 2 Key Tips to avoid them.Get the 2 Key Tips and find the full show notes at https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/podcast/Podcast Resources:Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?Episode #11 Help Your Daughter Stay Focused in a World Full of Distractions with a 3 Step SolutionThe New Psychology of Success, How We Can Learn to Fulfill Our Potential by Carol Dweck, Ph.D.The Gifts of Imperfection, Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown
8 minutes | Jan 5, 2021
Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?
Hey Parents,Is it possible for your daughter to solve her problems with the same thinking she used when she created them?According to Albert Einstein, the answer is no.But could he be wrong?How about … we let your daughter decide?Welcome back to episode #16This is the first episode in a 4-part podcast series where we’re going to solve bite sized teen girl issues with my Signature Coaching System, the 4 Steps to Cultivating a Resilient Teen.So, you and your daughter walk away with actionable, clear strategies and tips.Develop a Strong Sense of SelfThe first Step is Developing a Strong Sense of SelfIt’s an important place to start because if you think about it, every single thing your daughter says and does - her attitude, her happiness, her motivation, her success - all revolve around how she:· sees herself · what she thinks about herself· and how she talks to and about herselfAnd building a solid personal foundation will impact her personal power and the choices she makes as she creates a life she loves. It’s about your daughter taking the time to understand who she is and what she needs from the inside out.And the best way to do that is the 3-2-1 Method.Listen in to get the tips to the 3-2-1 Method and set your teenage daughter up for success by giving her the tools to develop a strong sense of self. Podcast Resources:Blog: You Want to Make a Change in Your Life? It Starts by Making a Different Choice | Posted 3.16.18 | blog.drjoedispenza.comDr. Joe Dispenza | Stress is Killing You | This is Why and What to Do | YouTubeEpisode #12 A Simpler Way for Your Teenage Daughter to Be Happier90-Minute Breakthrough Session90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program.
9 minutes | Dec 29, 2020
Episode 15 What's Inside the Mood Maintenance Toolkit? Strategies Every Teenage Girl Needs to Go From 'Meh' to 'Heck Ya!'
Hey Parents,Does your teenage daughter feel like life is just happening TO her?If she’s super spunky one minute and grouchy and grumbling the next, she may be riding this wild roller coaster.So today we’re going to offer you and your daughter, what I affectionately call the Mood Maintenance Toolkit.Because if your daughter is constantly responding with a fiery, knee-jerk reaction – especially in messy situations – you’ll want to guide her away from this habit.As parents, you’re probably well aware of how hard it is to know what to say because by the time you’ve come up with a thoughtful response, well, the situation’s already swinging in another direction. Here’s an example parents have shared with me, that may sound familiar to you … When my daughter gets a lot of likes, compliments, or invites - her mood is awesome – she’s playful and lighthearted.And then when someone doesn’t respond the way she hoped they would, if she’s not tagged in a post, or if she feels left out of a gathering - her mood is dreadful and she’s suddenly depressed and unresponsive to me.Ah, as humans it’s a natural response to feel great when someone praises you.And, on the flip side, it’s natural to feel disappointed and hurt when you don’t feel seen and heard.The hard part is, although the highs may be exhilarating in the moment, the downs instantly zap your daughter’s mood, wreck her motivation and leave her totally exhausted.And, I don’t know about you, but my clients tell me they’re sick of riding the emotional rollercoaster – especially when it comes to social media. So, if your daughter is like most teenagers, not only does the rollercoaster ride make her feel like she’s lost all control, but it can also lead to behaviors and responses that your daughter will later regret.The Mood Maintenance ToolkitSo, let’s equip your daughter with the Mood Maintenance Kit.Because when she’s able to maintain her mood and motivation – she’ll go from ‘meh’ to ‘heck ya’!The Kit contains:3 Questions 2 Mantra’s1 Key WordAnd it taps into the benefits social and emotional intelligence – giving your daughter the power to respond in a way that feels good and motivates her!Head over to my website Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast and listen to the full podcast or grab the show notes.Because, when your daughter takes the time to …Be honest about who she is making decisions for - and whyRecognize that she has a strong resiliency muscle inside herAnd when she truly EMBRACES her progress (and not someone else’s)She’ll begin to SEE that life IS happening FOR her.
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