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59 minutes | Aug 14, 2020
#31 - The Blob (1958)
Join Joey and Chris for some goo filled metaphors of questionable pacing.
70 minutes | Apr 24, 2020
#30 - Dead Ringers
Don't forget to pledge now for your commemorative tote.(there is no tote)
65 minutes | Jan 18, 2020
The Rubric #2 - Mortal Kombat (RADaptations)
Chris' Assignment: RADaptations. Joey's Submission: Mortal Kombat. Does it stand up to Chris' RUBRIC?!? Let's watch...
106 minutes | Nov 8, 2019
#29 - Michael Cimino's Heaven's Gate
The rad is the fat.
79 minutes | Aug 30, 2019
#28 - Funny Games (1997)
Learn and laugh along with your chuckle buddies in this hilarious romp of torture and 4th wall breaking remotes.
56 minutes | Aug 1, 2019
The Rubric #1 - Pilot
Criterionauts Joey Reinisch and Chris McCaleb try out their new show idea. A movie discussion show on a graded curve. Assignment: The Toys That Made Us. Chris' Submission: G.I. Joe The Movie Does it stand up to Joey's RUBRIC?!? Let's watch...
82 minutes | Jun 27, 2019
#27 - The Last Temptation Of Christ
Hey look! Someone made a movie out of the cliff notes for that book you never read but were supposed to.
63 minutes | May 3, 2019
#26 - The Tree Of Life
Life. Mother. Tree. Movie. Sorta. Kinda. Vagina fish. Ghost mom. Father. Fart noise.
68 minutes | Feb 25, 2019
#25 - The Lure (2015)
76 minutes | Feb 2, 2019
#24 - Andy Warhol's Flesh For Frankenstein
Hold on to your gallbladder.
88 minutes | Nov 16, 2018
#23 - The Canterbury Tales
After over a year lost in the void, Criterionaut Joey is joined by a new co-pilot: Chris McCaleb! In a horrible initiation, the new crew dives into the deep end with a new movie from Salo director Pier Paolo Pasolini
75 minutes | Feb 16, 2017
#22 - Fellini Satyricon
Joey and Brian watch ______ based on a book wh___ whole fu___ing passages are missing. What the f____.
72 minutes | Jan 20, 2017
#21 - Valley Of The Dolls
Joey and Brian struggle to remember the cast of the prequel to Beyond the Valley of the Dolls whilst talking about the media circus surrounding both movies.
67 minutes | Jan 6, 2017
#20 - Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls
Hey superfly babydoll. Grab your uppers downers, sisters and cousins for a rad fab party of perfect perversions and lots and lots of boobs.
64 minutes | Nov 16, 2016
#19 - Eyes Without a Face
The film explorers dive into the inspiration for the modern classic "Face-Off". Spoiler alert, there's no golden guns.
63 minutes | Sep 25, 2016
#18 - Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down!
Joey and Brian watch their favorite bondage themed 90's romantic comedy about stockholm syndrome yet!
62 minutes | Sep 8, 2016
#17 - I Am Curious: Yellow
Joey and Brian get curious about Sweden and it's 60's politics...also bush. Did she touch the wiener? LETS FIND OUT.
53 minutes | Aug 8, 2016
#16 - 8 And A Half
This episode is the final nail in the coffin on proof that we can't have nice things.
70 minutes | Jul 1, 2016
#15 - Sweet Movie
Don't let the title of the movie fool you. It's ironic. Oh, you don't get it? That's because you don't get art. Art is only for smart people, you prude. Prude! I AM NOT A PRUDE.
56 minutes | Jun 24, 2016
#14 - The Night Porter
In an upsetting change of pace, Joey and Brian find themselves yearning for a strong dose of body horror to energize this post-war nazi hotel dramedy. It's not actually a comedy.
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