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Creek of the Week: Dawson Schitt's
40 minutes | 2 days ago
Episode 283 – The Plant
Gross, look what they’re doing with their hands. This week your hosts briefly talk about a crime novel author you’ve probably never heard of, then dive into The Creek. The Motel has a “V-VIP” guest staying with them, and the employees concoct a scheme to impress him. Meanwhile Moira deals with Jocelyn’s breakdown, and David helps Patrick find a place to live. It’s a good one!
33 minutes | 9 days ago
Episode 282 – Love Letters
In one scene Jocelyn out-fashions both Moira and David for the whole series. Bravo! This week your hosts battle technical difficulties and a time crunch that leads them to cram their usual 45 minutes of hijinks into a half hour. Why am I speaking in third person? There’s no “them” here, it’s us, that is; me! Did I just use that semicolon correctly? I’m going to be honest, I’m a 42 year old man and that is the first time I’ve attempted to use one. What a rush! You know what else is a rush? Getting robbed at finger-point, which is what happens to David in this week’s episode. Simultaneously, Moira takes a bunch of Bosnian speed, and there’s something about love letters that we mostly talked over. You know, having reread this I don’t think I used the semicolon correctly. Welp, tried and failed, never going to make that mistake again. Just commas for me from here on out. Never put yourself out there folks, nothing but regret in it for you.
42 minutes | 16 days ago
Episode 281 – The Crowening
If only Brandon Lee were still around to see his creation perfected. A new season begins, and it begins with a bang. Moira is off filming her movie (The titular Crowening), while the rest of the fam holds down the fort. Alexis and David are having a friendly competition to see who has the spicier relationship, while Johnny is not doing well in his wife’s abscence. Your hosts barely register any of this as they can’t stop jabbering about completely unrelated topics as the show plays in the background. Welcome to Creek of the Week, what a dumb concept for a podcast.
44 minutes | a month ago
Episode 280 – Merry Christmas, Johnny Rose
This is a picture of Eugene Levy in bed. Merry Christmas, everyone. I realize it’s March, but we can’t control where the episodes fall so you’re getting a holiday episode. The technical finale of Season 4, this episode finds Johnny Rose desperately wishing for a holiday party, and the hijinks that ensue around the execution of said party. It’s what you would expect from a holiday episode… it’s fine. Merry St. Paddysmas.
45 minutes | a month ago
Episode 279 – Single’s Week
It’s hard to see in this image, but zoom in to the top left corner and I think that’s a classic coin-op Outrun game cabinet. That’s enough to draw me in to single’s week. Season finale’s are fun, and even though we technically have one more to go for season 4, this is the spiritual season finale, and it brings all the emotional weight we’ve come to expect from Schitt’s Creek. Alexis is trying to pull off Schitt’s Creek’s Single’s Week, while her family rallies around to help. Except Johnny, he’s busy selfishly worrying about his own business and denying his employee time off to be with his pregnant wife. Roland should unionize. David also receives some stressful but touching news from Patrick, and Moira escorts Jocelyn to the hospital so she can give birth.
48 minutes | a month ago
Episode 278 – The Rollout
Actual screencap from the new Schitt’s Creek FPS dating sim where you play as Ted the Vet in his quest for love. Hi there. It’s another flawless episode description of a very flawed episode of a podcast covering another flawless episode of Schitt’s Creek. This week pretends like the main plot is a rash breaking out caused by David’s moisturizer that is being given out for free with the new Rose Motel rollout, but the actual main plot is Alexis coming to terms with her own emotions, and gathering the courage to express them. Good for her.
45 minutes | 2 months ago
Episode 277 – Baby Sprinkle
My suggestion: Fill it with Strawberry Jam and used panty hose. It is once again time to follow us on our journey into Schitts Creek. This week Jocelyn is throwing a baby shower and cons David into planning it. I don’t know if you’ve been paying attention to David’s aesthetic, but that was not a good decision on her part. Also, Alexis has old friends in town who are not very nice, and they offer her a way out of the Creek.
50 minutes | 2 months ago
Episode 276 – The Olive Branch
More like ‘Simply the Bozo’ (This joke is a combination of this scene, in which a young woman wears too much makeup, like a clown, and a reference to the famous song that plays during another, more well-known scene at the end of the episode. ((Clearly the author of this joke did not think it was funny enough to stand on it’s own merit, so he over-explained it to try to make the explanation of the joke the actual joke (((Clearly the author is spiraling as he feels compelled to explain every subsequent joke, and where this train wreck will end nobody can say for sure ((((YOU HAVE ENTERED THE FOURTH PARENTHETICAL DIMENSION INSIDE WHICH IS ONLY SUFFERING. TURN BACK, FOOL!)))) ))) )) ) Olive branches are sticks out of which grow olives, or something. That is relevant to this episode of Schitts Creek because out of the “stick” of the Rose Family, grows the “olive” of love. Olive is also an anagram for love, don’t check me just trust me it is. So this week David decides it’s time to reunite with Patrick, but he’s having trouble as Patrick lavishes him with apology gifts. Alexis, meanwhile, gets her college degree, and goes into business with Moira, who inadvertently gets it past the city council. Johnny also buys Stevie some make up, which she hates. That’s Schitt’s Creek, baby!
48 minutes | 2 months ago
Episode 275 – The Jazzaguy
This episode of our podcast is honeymoon-sweet! Yep it’s one of those weeks. As this episode airs the week after Den Levy hosts SNL, we start our show talking a bit about that. We then talk about some other lighthearted topics like the unending progression of time drawing us all into irrelevancy and eventual death, plus what TV shows we like. Afterwards we watch an episode of Schitt’s Creek in which David & Stevie scam a hotel out of some free honeymoon swag, Alexis tries her hand at online dating, and Johnny joins the Jazzagals for a session. It’s all lighthearted fun as our skin cracks and wrinkles, our organs shut down, and our minds begin to fade. Death is coming for us all soon enough, but in the meantime this episode is a good way to… kill… about 40 minutes or so.
46 minutes | 3 months ago
Episode 274 – The Barbecue
Not pictured: 80 other prepared sliders, waiting for the grill. It will make sense when you listen to the episode. Hello my fellow Schitt-afficianados, welcome to another exciting installment. This week there’s a barbecue in the works to honor of David’s longest relationship ever, and he fears this may be a jinx. He does his best to make his fears come true when he attempts to keep his boyfriend Patrick from attending the barbecue, then perhaps overreacts to a surprise guest from Patrick’s past. Meanwhile Alexis is dealing with an errant text from Ted which leads to possibly the most awkward scene in a televsion series that butters it’s bread on awkward scenes. 10/10, C+ episode.
43 minutes | 3 months ago
Episode 273 – Open Mic
If thou gaze too long into the abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee. This week, on a very special Creek of the Week: A Schitt’s Creek (Formerly Dawson’s Creek) Podcast, or CotW: aSC(FDC)P, as we are called in the industry, we find the Rose’s involved in all kinds of business dealings. Alexis is doing PR work for the motel, and the newfound possibility of success gives Stevie the heebie jeebies. The Stevie Jeebies.. huh. Anyway, also Patrick is trying to drum up business for the store, and decides to throw an open mic night, at which point something magical and romantic happens.
43 minutes | 3 months ago
Episode 272 – RIP Moira Rose
If you look closely you can see the Three Men and a Baby ghost in the background. First of all, take it easy, Moira is not dead. It was just one of those fake social media death things that goes around and is immediately followed by a bunch of the gifs of Denzel Washington putting his hand over his chest and looking relieved. So Moira is not dead, but the world thinks she is, and she soon realizes she enjoys the fringe benefits of being a deceased actress. MEANWHILE, The Rose children are travelling out to a farm to source some fromage (that’s French for “frost mage”) and find themselves in a pickle when it turns out the farmer in question is dating Alexis’ lost love Ted the Vet. What will they do? Probably make funny expressions at each other and act awkwardly adorable, I’m guessing.
42 minutes | 3 months ago
Episode 271 – Girls’ Night
David Johansen got a serious glow up. Sometimes a girl’s just gotta blow off some steam. This week Alexis, pining for Ted, decides to distract herself with some townie D, and she takes Twila along to wingman. Meanwhile David is stubbornly refusing to admit his stubbornness, Johnny is fighting with Roland about the hotel lobby, and Moira has an arc but I honestly don’t remember it because I was too distracted by her green wig. I guess you’ll just have to listen to find out. What a tease!
47 minutes | 4 months ago
Episode 270 – Asbestos Fest
Moira had to register her jazz hands as lethal weapons. Ya’ll seen Bridgerton? Well we talk about it, probably more than we talk about Schitt’s Creek. So get ready for that. Once we get to the episode we are delighted by Moira’s creeping stage fright, David’s fumbling attempts to impress the Schitt’s Creek youths, Alexis’s street smarts in dealing with said youths, and Johnny’s business savvy when taking on a new employee. Then we talk about Bridgerton some more!
48 minutes | 4 months ago
Episode 269 – Pregnancy Test
You know, whoever that thing belongs to, it’s been soaked in someone’s urine, just something to consider as you wave it around the hotel room. Uh oh everyone, someone in Schitt’s Creek is knocked up, and for the first 7 minutes or so of this episode it appears to be Alexis. Shortly, however, we find out that she is not the raw-doggin culprit we assumed, and that honor belongs to another. Simultaneously to this action, David is looking for some alone time for his burgeoning romance, and Alexis herself is dealing with the stresses of starting college. Just another day at the Creek, folks.
40 minutes | 4 months ago
Episode 268 – Dead Guy In Room 4
I can’t talk right now, I’m doing hot guy Schitt. Welcome back to Schitt’s Creek Season FOOOOOUUUUUUUUR. We’re here and we’re doing it, starting at the bottom with a literal corpse. The hotel has a dead guy problem, and the brilliant minds of Schitt’s Creek have to come together to figure out how to get it out. Meanwhile David and Alexis are evicted from their room and have to seek lodging with their respective love interests which leads to all kinds of goofy shenanigans. This show is a gosh darn delight, as are you, dear listener. Merry Holidays to all!
38 minutes | 4 months ago
Episode 267 – Grad Night
Some pictures don’t need captions. Graduation, a time where young people blossom into adults, stretch their wings, and are pushed from the nest and into a world that awaits them with an open maw, ready to grind their bones beneath their teeth, consume their flesh, and defecate their remains into neat piles of stinking refuse on the sidewalks of our society. In other words, a time of celebration! While Alexis finally gets that sweet diploma, Moira is given the opportunity to perform elsewhere. Johnny is super stoked to see his motel filled to capacity, and David is, unbeknownst to him, going on a very sweet date. It’s the season 3 finale, and as usual, it delivers.
44 minutes | 5 months ago
Episode 267 – Friends and Family
I love the idea that Pop! commissioned this painting for the opening pilot montage, then just stored it for 3 years waiting to use it again because it was too good/expensive to throw out. Nothing is more important around the holidays than friends and family, except maybe commerce, and this week’s episode is a celebration of both. Moira rescues an artifact of the Rose’s past life while David has a semi-turgid opening of his new store. Alexis, meanwhile, gets good news and has an unexpected moment of celebration. Penultimate season 3 ep this week folks, it’s flyin’ by!
40 minutes | 5 months ago
Episode 266 – Stop Saying Lice!
Put it away, Ted. This week, we got bugs. Alexis finds out that she got head lice from school, which leads to much hijinks as the rest of the family deals with the fallout, except Moira who pretty much just ignores it and deals with her own stuff. David flirts with the idea of flirting with Patrick while Stevie encourages him. And Johnny tries to do a nice gesture for his wife which has mixed results. Your hosts, meanwhile, just enjoy a nice respite from the unending hellworld they find themselves living in (as are we all), and try to chime in with some lolworthy statements here and there. Were they successful? Tune in and find out!
37 minutes | 5 months ago
Episode 265 – Sebastien Raine
Looks like a young Tom Waits crawling his way out of a dead tonton after a bender on Hoth. You ever have an ex boyfriend want to take pictures of your mom so that he can publicly embarrass her for his own monetary gain? David Rose has, and he isn’t gonna stand for it. Meanwhile Alexis has to volunteer at the retirement community and learns that Ted has been patiently waiting to volunteer that D to her community cervix.
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