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Today Heather welcomes author and podcaster, Mary DeMuth on the show to talk about Leah and other women from the Bible whose stories we may not have learned accurately in Sunday School! Her brand new book, "The Most Misunderstood Women of the Bible" dives deep into stories of women such as Naomi, Rahab, Phoebe, Leah, and even the famously perfect Proverbs 31 "woman." Mary and Heather talk about some of these women, their stories, and what to do if you feel misunderstood. Here are a few key points from Leah and Other Misunderstood Women of the Bible: What does it mean to be misunderstood? How Leah's story shows us what's most important about What does it mean to have a beautiful soul? The huge shift in thinking about whose beauty we are looking for. How relying on our body for validation may connect to being misunderstood. Proverbs 31-- It's not really for women! What? The story of Phoebe and her connection to Romans that you've probably never heard! What do you do when you feel misunderstood? How we attempt to self-correct so we won't be misunderstood. How we misunderstand our worth and identity in Christ. How sometimes the Holy Spirit does direct us to defend ourselves, and sometimes he directs us to be quiet. Visit https://www.MaryDeMuth.com/misunderstood for the freebie: 64 Truths and Proclamations for When You're Misunderstood or connect with Mary DeMuth here: https://www.marydemuth.com or on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/marydemuth/ or listen to the Pray Everyday Podcast. Buy Mary's latest book, "The Most Misunderstood Women of the Bible" here (Amazon affiliate link): https://amzn.to/3FmytCi Listen to other episodes about Rachel and Leah here. Listen to Heather's other interview with Mary DeMuth here. Connect with Compared to Who? and take the FREE 5-Day Email Challenge: https://comparedtowho.me/5-day-email-challenge/ Leave a question for Heather to tackle on the air: https://www.comparedtowho.me/podcast Learn more about Compared to Who? the book or learn more about The Burden of Better book. Get on the waiting list for Fall coaching: Email Heather at Heather @ Compared to Who. Me

Today Heather digs into the concept of addiction--but not in a way you might expect. Heather isn't talking about drugs or alcohol or other things that you expect people to be addicted to. Instead, she talks about being addicted to body change--of chasing idols of body image and beauty through controlling and manipulating her body size and shape. Heather breaks down some amazing teaching from Dr. Tim Keller on the topic of addictions and idolatry and she applies this teaching to our issues with food and body. The sermon she refers to throughout today's episode is available here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcuE9ewrwVw Here are some other topics talked about in today's episode, I'm a Body Change Addict: How the prophet Jeremiah shows us Israel's idolatry problem and how this applies to us today! The deep spiritual desire we have to find affirmation. What addiction really is and how it's a spiritual problem. The addiction cycle and what Jeremiah 2:27 teaches us about it. How we can see what our addictions are as we compare what bothers us versus what bothers are friends. How addictions can't be solved just through changing our bodies. The Biggest Loser definition of salvation. How scolding and shaming never helps us change anything. What does work to break us out of addiction and sin. How our priorities reveal our treasures and our idols. Tim Keller's solution of thinking about these issues as issues between our bridegroom (Jesus) and his bride (us) and how this changes things. Why we all want to look flawless. Take the 5 Day Email Challenge from Compared to Who? and join the friends list at www.Comparedtowho.me Learn more about The Burden of Better and start reading the first two chapters for free here. Connect with Heather or drop her a message at Heather@ compared to who.me. 

Today's Intuitive Eating Coaching Call is filled with so many good nuggets of truth, you're going to want to listen to it twice. If intuitive eating doesn't feel very intuitive to you, take a listen to this. Heather talks about how she's feeling "safer" in her body and healthier in many ways but struggling to feel comfortable at a new size. Erin Todd and Char-Lee Cassel of the Intuitive Eating for Christian Women Podcast talk with Heather about so many great truths about giving up diet culture, food rules, and unhealthy mental strongholds around dieting, food, and weight loss. If you're uncomfortable in your body and feel uncertain about your size, food, weight, or anything in that genre--you're going to get a lot out of this episode. Here Are Some Topics We Cover in What to Do When You're Uncomfortable in Your Body: PMS changes, hormones, and body image Messages from celebrities that have stuck with Heather for decades Is it physical discomfort with size or is it mental discomfort around not wearing a size we desire? We argue over whether or not "physical discomfort" is always cured by weight loss. How do we take weight loss off the table? What is the cost of weight loss--long term and short term? Is the short-term success of dieting worth it? Heather confesses to being sucked back into exercise addiction. How we feel a moral obligation to lose weight if it will solve our health issues. We question the cultural truth that we each have complete control over our own weight. How addictive behavior tricks us when we are coming out of eating disorders or exercise addiction. Exercise or joyful movement in the scope of Intuitive Eating How Heather feels free to not think of food as much. The mental health aspect of our food struggles and how we "trick" ourselves into our addictive behaviors. How so much of this struggle comes down to heart issues and our desire for rules and law. What happens when others don't get the journey you're on--and when it feels lonely. Don't go back to Egypt (listen to the episode on that topic here!) Connect with Erin Todd and Char-Lee Cassel on Instagram or on their website or listen to the Intuitive Eating for Christian Women Podcast on Apple. Take the 5 Day Email Challenge from Compared to Who? and join the friends list at www.Comparedtowho.me Learn more about The Burden of Better and start reading the first two chapters for free here. Connect with Heather or drop her a message at Heather@ compared to who.me. 

One of the trickiest parts of healing our body image issues is recognizing the impact that parents and others may have had in the way they developed while, at the same time, not blaming them! Seeing the hurt and brokenness of our moms or our dads in this arena, and then forgiving them for the pain that they (most often) unintentionally passed on to us is a tricky thing. If you're ready to understand a moms role in body image issues and to forgive mom (or someone else) for their roles in your body image issues, then this episode is for you! We'll do a practical, step-by-step exercise in how to forgive family members or others for the things that they have said or done that have kept us in body image bondage. Here's what we talk about in today's show about your mom's role in body image issues: How do we not blame our moms, dads, and other relatives who have "contributed" to our body image issues? Thinking about how those things that have been said over you may still be connected to lies you regularly hear. How most parents are well-meaning in wanting their child to succeed in an "economy" where beauty wins. Why writing down the lies is important to the forgiveness protocol. How forgiving others sets not just them free, but also sets us free. (Or course, this is through Christ--the only one who truly sets us free!) Do you need to tell your mom (or others) that you've forgiven them? Do you need a conversation? Heather breaks down the truth. Moms play a role in body image issues, but you can restore your relationship with your mom, even if she was a contributor to your struggles with body or few.   Get the 5 Day Body Image Email Challenge Here: https://www.comparedtowho.me/5 Interested in Coaching? Learn more at: https://www.comparedtowho.me/  

Everyone is talking about getting a summer "body" but as we enter a new season, my question is: How is your body image? Where are you on the path to body image freedom? I've had some friends walking this path with me for years now--you've probably heard me change, grow, and learn as God reveals new things to me in areas I previously didn't even know he wanted to change! Others of you may be brand new to the Compared to Who? show or this ministry. Maybe you never even knew that your problem with your body was actually a problem with your body image. Perhaps you are still trying to figure out if that statement is even true--and if it really is possible to change how you feel about your body without reaching your "goal weight" or getting the body you always dreamed of. Today, I give you a short, 5 question assessment so you can figure out where you are on the path and I offer some practical steps as to what may be next for you if you want to keep growing in body image freedom. Here are some other things we tackle in the Summer Body Image Assessment: We talk about how body image freedom never comes from a plan. Freedom is a path, not a plan. We talk about how for Heather, food issues weren't something that God started working on right away. How it took her years after starting to heal her body image to give up dieting and over-exercising and see the disordered eating patterns and habits in her life. Heather shares how gracious it is of God to meet us where we are at and not push us to walk this path any faster than we are ready to. We talk about the "Idol of Self" and how sneaky it is to believe that our opinions of us are more important than everyone else's (even God's). We "go there" and talk about summer body image struggles. Heather makes suggests as to how you can enjoy the summer with more freedom. Finally, we talk about spiritual habits and practices that are ultimately the key to experiencing true body image freedom. Connect with Compared to Who? and take the FREE 5-Day Email Challenge: https://comparedtowho.me/5-day-email-challenge/ Leave a question for Heather to tackle on the air: https://www.comparedtowho.me/podcast Learn more about Compared to Who? the book or learn more about The Burden of Better book. Get on the waiting list for Fall coaching: Email Heather at Heather @ Compared to Who. Me

Today we conclude the Spring book club series where we've walked through my latest book, The Burden of Better: How a Comparison-Free Life Leads to Joy, Peace, and Rest. In this episode, we talk about ways to have more joy, contentment, peace, and how to find rest. Heather walks through the final section of the book which is dedicated to these topics and we discuss how our idols (and our ideals) lie to us when they tell us they can give us the joy, peace, and rest that only Jesus can deliver. Here are some other concepts we discuss in today's episode about joy, peace, and rest: Heather answers a listener's question about how to really grasp the concept of grace. Heather talks about how gratitude is more than just being thankful for a good parking space. We look at complaining and discuss the only biblical way we can "complain" which is lament. Heather tackles the topic of social media and how it can steal our joy (especially on vacation). You'll hear practical ideas for finding more joy, peace, and true rest. Sign up for the FREE 5-Day Email Challenge here: 5-Day Email Challenge Are you ready to start reading the Burden of Better? Check out the first two chapters here: https://comparedtowho.me/burden-of-better-book-for-christian-women-on-comparison/ Leave a review for the Compared to Who? show or ask a question to be answered on the air here: https://www.comparedtowho.me/podcast Listen to the first two episodes of the Burden of Better Book Club here: Episode One: Ideals Become Idols Episode Two: Can a Deeper Understanding of Grace Cure Comparison?

In this month's Intuitive Eating Coaching call with Heather's Intuitive Eating Coaches--Erin Todd and Char Lee Haze-- we talk about how hard it is to actually make it past step one in Intuitive Eating. Step one of Intuitive Eating involves recognizing and turning from Diet Culture so you can reclaim your power to choose the foods and methods of eating that are best for your body. But today we talk about navigating the body changes that come when you stop dieting. We also talk about how ditching diets and "rebelling" against diets are two very different things. There are many informative and encouraging truths about defeating diet mentality in this episode. Need help defeating diet mentality? Here are some other places today's conversation goes: What happens when our bodies transition from being underfoot or underhydrated. Why dieting and manipulating, changing body size is truly an addiction. How powerless it can feel to notice changes in your body and not turn to dieting. Navigating the tension between who I am in Christ and who I want to be, physically. Why we struggle with being human (imperfect, changing, aging, etc...) How we use Diet Culture rules to keep us safe (and how that's truly ineffective). How unfathomable it is that anyone could truly escape Diet Culture without an understanding of identity in Christ. How defeating diet mentality without feeling secure in Christ and having his help daily is practically impossible. There is so much gold in this episode, you may need to listen twice! Need more help defeating diet mentality? Connect with Erin and Char Lee here: https://intuitiveeatingforchristianwomen.com and follow on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/intuitive.eating.podcast/ Listen to previous coaching calls here where we talk more about defeating diet mentality: Are you afraid of Satisfaction? Why Am I Always Tired? What Do I Do About Mindless Eating? Learn more about Compared to Who? here: https://www.comparedtowho.me Ready to take the FREE 5-Day email challenge? Sign up here. Want to support the show on Patreon or learn how to leave a review? Learn more at https://www.comparedtowho.me/podcast    

Today Heather chats with Jennifer Strickland, a former model who's appeared in magazines you've probably read and shows you may have seen and worked for designers you've heard of. Jen had amazing success in the modeling world but her life was missing meaning and though she had learned how to use her body to fit an image, she had not yet learned how to use her voice. Jen shares her story of finding Christ while modeling and what her recovery from modeling (and the eating disorder that came with it) looked like. She also talks about how a mirror fast showed her what true beauty really looks like (and where it truly comes from!) Plus: Check out the BONUS content on Patreon from this episode! Here are some other topics covered in this episode "The Model and the Mirror Fast": Jennifer explains how the pressure of modeling is extreme because bodies change every day. Jen talks about how she met Jesus through strangers on the street while she was modeling in Europe. We talk about how deceiving image can be. We discuss the lie of "I am what I see in the mirror." We talk a bit about the behind the scenes yuck of the modeling industry and what it does to young girls. Jen shares about her personal struggle with cystic acne and how a world-renowned dermatologist told her that her issues were so deep, they could only be treated by healing her heart and her mind. Jen shares how God has freed her from the belief that she has to look and how she's learned to look radiant by looking on Him. Go to Patreon for the BONUS content - 10 more minutes of my talk with Jen where she shares about how she's navigated beauty, social media, and related issues with her now college-age daughter. Plus, Jen shares about how she did a 40 Day Mirror Fast and what it taught her. Connect With Compared to Who: Take the FREE 5-Day Email Challenge to Improve Your Body Image Here: 5-Day Email Challenge Start reading the Burden of Better here: Burden of Better Book for Christian Women on Comparison Join the Patreon Community here: www.patreon.com/comparedtowho Find out more about Coaching here: Christian Group Body Image Coaching Leave a review for the show! Find out more here: https://www.comparedtowho.me/podcast Learn more about Jennifer Strickland and URMORE ministries here. Jennifer Strickland is an author, TEDx speaker, former model, wife, mother of three, and the founder of U R More, a ministry that teaches people their worth in God’s eyes.  Jen has written seven books and studies teaching women and girls their true worth, including Girl Perfect, More Beautiful Than You Know, Beautiful Lies, and 21 Myths (Even Good) Girls Believe About Sex. She holds a bachelor’s in broadcast journalism and a master’s in writing and literature. For 15 years, Jen worked worldwide as a print, runway, and commercial model. She lived in several European countries and got an inside look at one of the most glamorized industries in the world. Today, Jen uses her experience as a model, knowledge of Scripture, and love for young women to expose the lies of the media and teach them to see themselves in the mirror of God.

Model Month continues with Heather's conversation with Kristen Clark from Girl Defined. Kristen spent some time as a showroom and conference model in her early twenties. Yes, she was that woman they paid to stand beside the new product to make it look good! But, Kristen shares how the more pressure to be "eye candy" took a toll on her soul. Kristen talks candidly about what happened in her heart as her career demanded she focus more on her body and what she looked like to others. We talk about so many great topics in this interview but one thing is clear: the modeling industry makes it confusing that you are more than a body. You are more than a body! Here are some other things we talked about in today's show: We discussed what happens when you get used to everyone looking at you and how you start to demand that attention and visual approval from others. (Yes, even non-models can relate to this!) We discussed how Kristen, growing up in a Christian home, still felt that need inside to be seen and loved and thought modeling could meet it. Kristen and I talk about the process of re-orienting her heart away from what modeling had taught her and back to the truth of scripture that she is more than just a body. How to live as God's daughters and serve him to live free defining womanhood the way God does! What Kristen would tell her daughter about modeling. How to use the body God has given you to serve his kingdom. The temptations and challenges for moms of daughters with TikTok and You Tube and Instagram -- how to help your daughter not fall into the trap to become a "self made" model online. Kristen shares candidly about her infertility journey and how God took her life in a different direction than she ever planned. About Kristen Clark: Kristen Clark is married to her best friend, Zack, is co-founder of GirlDefined Ministries, and author of Girl Defined, Love Defined, and Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart. She is passionate about promoting the message of God-defined womanhood through blogging, speaking, mentoring young women, and hosting Bible studies in her living room. In the end, she’s just a fun-lovin’ Texas girl who adores all things outdoors and drinks coffee whenever possible. Kristen's Books Mentioned Today: (Amazon Affiliate links support this ministry!) Girl Defined Not Part of the Plan - Trusting God with the Twists and Turns of Your Story Connect With Compared to Who: Take the FREE 5-Day Email Challenge to Improve Your Body Image Here: 5-Day Email Challenge Start reading the Burden of Better here: Burden of Better Book for Christian Women on Comparison Join the Patreon Community here: www.patreon.com/comparedtowho Find out more about Coaching here: Christian Group Body Image Coaching Leave a review for the show! Find out more here: https://www.comparedtowho.me/podcast

Our brand new series talking to former models continues today with the second part of my conversation with Amanda Cunningham, a former runway model. It's been highly informative to find out more about the secret life of a runway model. Today she shares more about how she came to know Jesus, what finally drove her out of the modeling business, and how God touched the hearts of both her and her new husband to begin to live life in a new way. Amanda and I also talk about what she tells her daughters about modeling, how God is working to heal her from years of disordered eating and negative thoughts around her body, along with other unknowns from the secret life of a runway model that just may surprise you! Learn More About the Secret Life of a Runway Model in Today's Show, Such As: How Amanda felt a draw to find something REAL after years of searching for and perfecting her image. What happened to Amanda after she got pregnant and tried to go back to modeling. The miracle of how God touched her marriage and the hearts of both her and her husband. How modeling has influenced the way Amanda parents her daughters. Connect with Amanda to find out more about the secret life of a runway model and how God has transformed Amanda's heart and life at her website: http://www.amandafromtexas.com or on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/amandafromtx/ Are you tired of battling body image alone? Do you wish you had someone to talk to about your body image issues? Consider coaching here: www.comparedtowho.me/body-image-coaching Connect with Compared to Who? and take the FREE 5-Day email challenge here: https://www.comparedtowho.me Leave a review for this podcast! What a blessing your reviews are. Learn how to do it here: www.comparedtowho.me/podcast

Have you ever looked at a model and thought, "If I could just look like that than I wouldn't struggle with my body image?" I have. I interview Amanda Cunningham, a former runway model who shares some behind the scenes details of what the world of modeling is really like and how being a part of it affected her body image and relationship with food. Guess what: Models have body image issues, too! Today, Amanda shares how her search for something real, something more than just image, eventually led her to check out a church and how she found new life and real meaning through a relationship with Jesus. This is the first episode in our new series on models, modeling, and what we can learn from the women who have had the "magazine cover" look and still struggled with body image. Do Models Have Body Image Issues, Too? Here are Some Secrets Revealed in Today's Show: Amanda shares how she got into modeling and how models have body image issues, too. Amanda talks about the pressure involved in modeling--feeling like your body had to always be perfect and recognizing that every job could make or break your career. Amanda reveals how everything in modeling revolves around the designer's sample sizes -- which are usually a size 0-2. And how challenging it is for many women over to naturally maintain the size and shape of a teenager's body in order to fit in the samples for the shows. We talk about the reality that so many women in modeling are struggling with food, drugs, or even depression--how the image or the "picture" doesn't match what's really going on inside for many women in the industry. Amanda shares her story of a failed marriage, depression, and wondering what she would or could do once her modeling career ended. Come back for part two on Friday when Amanda shares her story and what finally drove her out of the modeling business, how God touched the hearts of both her and her new husband to begin to follow Jesus. Plus: Amanda shares how she talks to her daughters about image and modeling. Connect with Amanda on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/amandafromtx/ or check out her website: http://www.amandafromtexas.com Connect with Compared to Who? and take the FREE 5-Day email challenge here: https://www.comparedtowho.me Leave a review for this podcast! What a blessing your reviews are. Learn how to do it here: www.comparedtowho.me/podcast

Today my guest, Allie Marie Smith, and I talk about the fearfully and wonderfully made verse from Psalm 139:14 and her new book titled, "Wonderfully Made." Allie shares her story of depression and suicide attempts, an eating disorder, and how God has worked through all of her mental health struggles to take her to a greater place of understanding who she is in Him. You will be encouraged by Allie's story and the wisdom she shares will strengthen your faith. "We miss so much when our biggest goal is weightloss." May be a favorite take away. Here are some of the things we discuss on today's show as we talk about how we are "wonderfully made": Allie and I discuss how God's heart for us to not walk in insecurity or in pride and how to find a place of confidence in the middle of that spectrum. We discuss how some have twisted Psalm 139:14--the fearfully and wonderfully made verse--to leave out God, turning it into a self-esteem verse. Allie and I talk about Body Positivity and how it may be the embodiment of Romans 1:25. We talk about how a life focused on body goals can be so small, but God has much bigger purposes for our lives. Allie shares a beautiful illustration from the photo below -- about what's really happening when God asks us to trust him Learn more about Allie Marie Smith's amazing ministry to women here: www.wonderfullymade.org Connect with Allie at @AllieMarieSmith on Instagram or Facebook. Learn more about Compared to Who?: www.comparedtowho.me and sign up for the free 5-Day Email Challenge! Interested in learning more about coaching? Visit: www.comparedtowho.me/body-image-coaching Leave a review or a speakpipe voice message for the show here: https://www.comparedtowho.me/podcast Support Compared to Who? on Patreon here: www.patreon.com/comparedtowho    

It's hard to be in God's waiting room. Whether you're waiting for a spouse, a new job, or some other goal--waiting can be tough. Today I talk to author Heather Thompson Day about her new book, "It's Not Your Turn: What to Do While You're Waiting for Your Breakthrough." Heather and I talk about all sorts of topics related to waiting and living life to the fullest. We talk about how to see every opportunity in life as "your turn" even when the prayer you've been waiting to have answered doesn't seem to be coming. Here are a few of the areas we touch today as we talked about waiting for answered prayers: How do you respond when a friend gets what you've been waiting for. Life is not linear: how getting that thing you've been wanting or waiting for is not really the end goal. What Heather learned from her college track days about comparison. How to honestly cheer for our friends even when we're still waiting for answered prayers. How to be a woman of integrity--in our thoughts and actions--when it comes to comparing ourselves to others. What it means to talk to your brain and why it's important to do this. What fear does to your immune system. How announcing your intentions towards a goal may prevent you from achieving it. And so much more. If you're waiting for an answered prayer or struggling not to compare yourself with others who have what you desire, you'll really enjoy the episode. Even if you're not in God's waiting room, you'll still get a lot out of the nuggets of truth and wisdom Heather shares. Connect with Heather here: https://www.heatherthompsonday.com Buy Heather's Book: It's Not Your Turn or here: https://amzn.to/3sL8BtK (Amazon affiliate link) Connect with Compared to Who? by joining the Compared to Who? email list and take the free 5-Day Email Challenge here: https://www.comparedtowho.me  If you're on Facebook, join the new Compared to Who? insiders group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/comparedtowho Join the new Compared to Who? Patreon Community: https://www.patreon.com/comparedtowho Leave a review of the podcast. Learn how here: https://www.comparedtowho.me/podcast About Heather Thompson Day: Dr. Heather Thompson Day is an interdenominational speaker and has been a contributor for Religion News Service, Christianity Today, Newsweek and the Barna Group. She is also the host of Viral Jesus, a podcast with Christianity Today. Heather is an Associate Professor of Communication at Andrews University. She is passionate about supporting women, and runs an online community called I’m That Wife which has over 200k followers. Heather’s writing has been featured on outlets like the Today Show, and the National Communication Association. She has been interviewed by BBC Radio Live and has been featured in Forbes. She believes her calling is to stand in the gaps of our churches for young people. She is the author of 7 books; including It’s Not Your Turn, and Confessions of a Christian Wife. She resides in Michigan, with her husband, Seth Day, and their three children, London, Hudson, and Sawyer Day.  

Today we take a pause to remember what this show is really about. We've spent a lot of time over the past few months talking about food, intuitive eating, and related issues. But, today we revisit the purpose of this show--to help you break free from body image issues and to help you see clearly the way the body image idol works to deceive us. If you are listening to the show and still feeling awkward around food or feeling uncertain about how to navigate a changing body, don't worry. You are not alone. In this episode, Heather talks through how she's feeling awkward around food and aging. Here are some of the topics covered in today's show: Heather shares a personal story of how she recently begged God to let her go back to dieting and disordered eating. We talk about why we feel so pulled towards diets and food plans and structure when it comes to our bodies. We discuss how it's good to see your body as good, but how the temptation to make your body "better" doesn't let us sit in that "good" place for long. We look at how controlling food and our appearance can be an addiction. We examine the reality that feeling awkward with food is part of the process of this journey. Heather uncovers the reality that the struggle is real, but there is great hope for change. Are you on the Compared to Who? email list yet? Join here. Visit www.comparedtowho.me for more information. Ready to leave a review of the show? Want to leave a comment about how the show has blessed you? Go to www.comparedtowho.me/podcast to leave a speak pipe message or to find out how to leave a review on your favorite platform. Interested in becoming a part of the Patreon community? Learn more here: www.comparedtowho.me/podcast

In today's second installment of the Burden of Better Book Club, Heather talks about how understanding grace cures comparison. In her book, The Burden of Better, Heather explores four different manifestations of grace in the daily life of the follower of Jesus. She also answers some of your questions about comparison and idealism (from the first Burden of Better Book Club Episode here.) Here's what to expect from today's show: Heather tackles the following questions: Did you experience any spiritual push back when you realized you were entrenched in this kind of sin? Is it normal to feel overwhelmed with the scope of my discontent? Heather explains four different types of grace: God's saving grace. God's sanctifying grace. God's growing grace. God's sustaining grace. To learn more about the Burden of Better visit this page: https://comparedtowho.me/burden-of-better-book-for-christian-women-on-comparison/ Are you on the Compared to Who? email list yet? Do you get special offers and promos and encouragement twice a month? If not, go to www.comparedtowho.me and take the 5-Day Email Challenge on the front page! Want to buy a copy of Burden of Better? Use this Amazon affiliate link to help support Compared to Who? https://amzn.to/3ubM3Dq Interested in becoming part of our Patreon community? Learn more here: www.comparedtowho.me/podcast Have a question for the next Burden of Better Book Club episode? Leave a voice message at speakpipe or send Heather an email to: heather @ compared to who (dot) me. Here is a partial transcript from the last half of today's show about understanding grace: Section 2 of this book is called the grace-filled life – And in it, I talk about there being 4 different kinds of grace. There is saving grace, sanctifying grace, growing grace and sustaining grace. If you’re like me – you sang Amazing Grace in church and maybe you only thought about grace in the context of Jesus dying on the cross to save you from going to Hell. But, as I explain through this section – a truer and deeper understanding of grace goes much deeper. If we truly understood that God’s saving grace was so much more than saving us from hell after this life – I think we’d all live a little differently. You see the truth is God’s saving grace tells us that nothing, absolutely nothing, can separate us from his love. We are unconditionally loved and accepted after we receive Jesus as our savior. There is no one else on this earth who can love us this way. We’d like to think parents could but loving without any conditions is very difficult for most of us. So we have this crazy, completely reliable constant source of love and acceptance that should mean we never have to be afraid of what other people think – Truly – if we lived in our identities as women who are unconditionally loved and accepted by God – we’d never stress about what others think. There’s more to saving grace than that even – in terms of speaking to our confidence issues and our body image issues – so I hope you’ll snag the book and at least read that chapter. I also talk about sanctifying grace. This is our grace to become more like Jesus and less like ourselves – every day- God is gracious to sanctify us. Now, sometimes sanctification feels painful – because, like the reader question I answered – we see the depth of our sin and once we’ve seen it – we know we have to work on being different – we have to change. No one likes change. It’s uncomfortable. But, it’s a grace that God doesn’t leave us stuck in our sin issues – He unconditionally accepts and loves us -but then graciously holds our hands as we walk out of issues like body image issues or comparison issues. He shows us the idols we’ve been serving but as Romans says – it’s his KINDNESS that leads us to repentance. He doesn’t beat us over the head or shame us for our sin – he covers our guilt and shame and says, okay – now walk a new way. The third kind of grace I talk about is Growing Grace  - This is the grace you have received when you realize that you were made on purpose and for a purpose. This is the grace where you get to figure out how and why you were made and see the beauty in God’s design for you and for your life. Honestly – one thing I see a lot is that women who are stuck in body image issues have no idea what their spiritual gifts are. They don’t know what they’re good at or what they have to offer the world beyond being pretty or having the body they think other people will appreciate or admire.  For me -  personally – I knew some of the ways I was gifted – I was using these gifts at work -but I was so caught up in fixing my body image in my free time that I didn’t have the extra capacity to use my gifts for God’s kingdom too. Once I started to do that – that’s when it became much easier to take my eyes off my thighs and to really believe and feel like I was made for more than weight loss. The final kind of grace we explore is sustaining grace – This is the very real and present grace God gives us when our world is falling apart – when you lose someone close to you and you still know, maybe even in a more real way than you’ve ever felt or known – that God is right there with you. That’s a kind of grace. Can you even imagine how hard life would be without God’s sustaining grace? This isn’t in the book but here is a weird example I’m thinking of that I think many of you will relate to. Are you ready for this? Do you know the reason why you feel a kind of “buzz” when you go on a diet or weight loss plan and start to really restrict calories? I always thought it was because I was eating healthier or eating less… but now I know that (unless you are bed fast), 1500 calories or less a day is probably not enough for your body if you’re over the age of 10 and moving at all. So, when you go on the crash diet. You follow the Optavia 1200 calories a day plan. You start to feel really really good at first. Do you know why that is? It’s because God created your body to hide the pain of starvation from you. Isn’t that crazy? God actually designed your body in such a way that when you go from a regular amount of calories to an amount that feels like starvation – certain hormones would be released to mask from you the impact of that. To truly feel starvation is an absolutely horrible thing and so it’s God’s grace that he created our bodies to not feel the impact of it in the early days of calorie deprivation. Now, it doesn’t stay that way. Eventually your body decides to take action so you won’t starve– whether that’s storing any calories you consume or putting other hormones into hyper drive to protect you. But when one of my dietician friends with a Master’s degree in body science explained this to me,I was in shock. It’s not a feel good because I’m eating good buzz – it’s God’s sustaining grace because I couldn’t handle the feeling of actual starvation. So there you have it! Four different kinds of grace operating in our lives today and everyday. The reason why I spell them out in the book is because I believe once we become more aware of all these little graces we’ve been given – we become less likely to compare ourselves to others or to question the ways God is working and moving in our lives. We become more able to trust him and our hearts fill with gratitude for what he has done – in big things and little things. That’s what the next section of the book is about gratitude. We’ll talk about that at the end of April. Until then, what questions do you have? What can I help clarify about these concepts for you? What do you think? Did you know there were so many different types of grace operating in your life everyday?  

Today Dr. Juli Slattery and I tackle a tough topic: What do you do when you think your husband hates your body. I've have many women reach out to me over the years with this concern. Today, Dr. Slattery and I take a look at this issue from a few different angles and offer hope and help to women who need encouragement in this arena and in their marriages. Sometimes our struggle is about false beliefs and assumptions surrounding our men and what they expect us to look like. But, other times there have been words said or expectations set that can make it feel like you won't be loved unless your body changes. Dr. Slattery helps us break down where to find hope, healing, and truth in each of these situations. Here are some topics discussed in our conversation about what to do if you feel like your husband hates your body: How to process if your husband has made unkind comments about your body. How to take a fresh look at your marriage, intimacy, and what's really going on if you feel like your husband hates your body. How a good sex life has little to do with what your body looks like. Why losing the pounds or fixing the part won't actually work to win your man's attention. How to drop out of the imaginary "beauty contest" for your husband's attention and develop true intimacy. What to do if he's not initiating sex or if you're always turning him down. How to use what you've got to enjoy a fulfilling and pleasure-filled sex life. About Dr. Juli Slattery Dr. Juli Slattery is a clinical psychologist, author, speaker and the president/co-founder of Authentic Intimacy. Juli earned her college degree at Wheaton College, an MA in psychology from Biola University, and an MS and a Doctorate degree in Clinical Psychology from Florida Institute of Technology. From 2008-2012, Dr. Slattery served at Focus on the Family writing, teaching, and co-hosting the Focus on the Family Broadcast. In 2012, she left Focus on the Family to start Authentic Intimacy, a ministry devoted to reclaiming God’s design for sexuality. In 2020, Juli launched SexualDiscipleship.com, a platform designed to help Christian leaders navigate sexual issues and questions with gospel-centered truth. Juli is the author of twelve books and host of the weekly podcast “Java with Juli.” Juli and her husband Mike are the parents of 3 sons; they live in Akron, Ohio. Learn more about Authentic Intimacy and find helpful resources at: www.authenticintimacy.com Connect with Compared to Who? Ready to take the 5-day email challenge? Sign up at www.comparedtowho.me - just look for the red "take the challenge" button! Interested in coaching? Email heather to see if there are any spots left: heather@comparedtowho.me Other Helpful Resources: Help! My Husband is Looking at Porn. What to Do if He Battles Lust. Listen to the first episode in the Marriage and Body Image Series here.

Today we look at Matthew 6:25-34 -- a familiar passage in the Bible where Jesus tells us not to worry. But his instruction isn't generic. He tells us not to worry about a few specific things -- he says don't worry about food, drink, and clothing. What? Isn't this what this whole show is about? Body image fear? Here are a few key points about body image fear and fears around our food as we look at the instruction from this passage: We believe fear keeps us safe--safe from health issues or safe from negative opinions of others, but this is just one of fear's lies. Fear tells us that we need it to keep us safe, we need to stay "worried" about our bodies so we don't "let ourselves go." Fear sometimes looks like control and the fear of man (approval) so fear makes a triple play in the arena of body image and food. Dieting, food rules, restriction, control, and body image stress are all a prison where we sit in a cell with the door open. We can have freedom, we simply have to take steps of faith (they can be small) to get out. If you're ready to stop feeling afraid of all things related to your body image and your food, I hope you'll commit this passage to memory! Body image fear does not have to be your prison. Lay Down Your Body Image Fear Here's the text for Matthew 6:25-34 from the ESV (look it up for yourself so you can follow along). Matthew 6:25-34 - Do Not Be Anxious 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?[a] 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Want to connect with Compared to Who? Visit www.comparedtowho.me and you can join the free 5-Day Body Image Email Challenge! Interested in coaching? Learn more here. Wrestling fear or body image fear? Listen to this episode from an earlier season on the topic of fear and body image issues.

One of the largest obstacles to overcome when you release your body image issues and improve your relationship with food is facing the fear of losing your health. Chances are, you've listened to and read all the data about what happens unless you tightly control your food, your environment, your exercise... everything really. Reality is: there are a thousand reasons to be afraid of what's out there. And, there's only one reason to not be afraid. That is: Jesus. He commands us to fear not. And that includes the fear of losing our health. So how can we start to improve our relationship with food and our bodies while learning to trust him for to lead us and guide us in the arena of health. Even if we do all the right "things" and follow everyone's rules (which, candidly, is an impossible task)--we still have no guarantee that our bodies will do what we want them to do. Today, I talk to Trudy Lonesky, author and host of the Kingdom Mamas Podcast. She shares her amazing story of going from orthorexic-style clean living and eating and extreme exercise that took her to body building competitions to rebuilding her relationship with food and her body in a rightly ordered way. Trudy shares her fears about losing her health along the way and how she's learning to trust God in this arena. If you fear losing your health if you give up all your food rules and diet plans, today's episode is for you. Here are some things we talk about today in the context of the fear of losing your health: What to do when your family history of weight-related diseases is shouting to you to get on another diet. What to do when your husband doesn't understand what you're doing with your food and diet. Trudy shares how working through a new relationship with food has been a process in her marriage. How to handle it when someone's words about your body or weight stick with you. How Trudy went from having an all-or-nothing mentality when it came to eating clean (and then bingeing) to having a healthier relationship with food. Connect with Trudy on her website: www.trudylonesky.com or through the Kingdom Mamas Podcast wherever podcasts are heard. Or find her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/@trudy_lonesky or on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/trudy.lonesky.9 Interested in coaching? Only a few spots are left for the April session. Find out more here: Christian Group Body Image Coaching  or email heather at Heather @ compared to who.me for more information! Have you signed up for the free 5-Day Body Image Email Challenge yet? Learn more at www.comparedtowho.me  

Are you afraid of satisfaction? Does it feel "wrong" to buy something you would like or to eat something that tastes truly delicious? In my intuitive eating coaching call, Erin Todd--co-host of the Intuitive Eating for Christian Women podcast--and I talk about why we struggle with satisfaction. We talk about the ways we've subtly learned that it's better or holier to not be satisfied--in everything from our clothing purchases to our food choices. We also talk about the following: Why do we use words like "sinful" or "guilty" when it comes to enjoyable foods? Where does it say in the Bible that we shouldn't enjoy food? If we are to "taste and see that the Lord is good," doesn't that imply it's okay to enjoy what we eat? How we end up believing that self-denial in the arena of food is a path to justification and holiness. What it means to give yourself unconditional permission to eat. Why being afraid of satisfaction is not helpful to your relationship with food (and may connect to disordered eating). How awkward it is to give ourselves permission to eat when we feel like others are watching or others disapprove of our food choices. Why ultimate satisfaction can only come from Jesus, but how he never tells us we can't enjoy the good things he's created for our pleasure. If you've ever felt afraid of satisfaction or feared pleasure, this episode will speak to you! Learn more about Erin Todd and the Intuitive Eating for Christian Women podcast here: https://www.erinltodd.com Listen to our other Intuitive Eating Coaching Calls here: What Do I Do About Mindless Eating from January and Why Am I So Tired All the Time from February. Ready to connect with Compared to Who? Sign up for the free, 5-Day email Challenge here: https://comparedtowho.me/5-day-email-challenge/

Are you afraid of what others think of you? Maybe you're worried about what they think of your life, your body, your choices, your struggles. Today, author, speaker, and coach, Jill Savage and I tackle how we handle the fear of what others will think of us. Jill has experienced the gamut of life situations that could cause others to raise an eyebrow. From facing infidelity in her marriage (to a pastor), to walking through her son's mental health issues, to her other son's announcement about his sexuality, to walking through her own battles with issues most women face--Jill holds an extensive resume of life experiences that could have caused her to obsess over what other people think. Yet, God's done a work in her life to set her free from living the life of a perfectionist and stressing over what others think. Here are a few of the topics Jill and I walk through today as we discuss being afraid of what others think: How to give up perfectionism. What it looks like to parent without placing the expectation of perfection on our children. How Jill has learned to take the mask off and show others her struggle. And so much more! If you're part of the Compared to Who? Patreon community - head over to www.patreon.com/comparedtowho to listen to the BONUS 15 minutes of content from Jill where she shares the story of her husband's infidelity, how he left her several times, but how he spoke to Jill and restored their marriage--not to how it used to be, but to a new and stronger place. (Now the couple coaches other couples in crisis - learn more here: www.jillsavage.org.) Ready to stop living your life stressed about what others think? Listen to today's episode and then learn more about Jill and grab some of the freebies she's offering here: www.jillsavage.org or at her No More Perfect Moms page here: https://nomoreperfect.jillsavage.org Ready to break free from body image issues? Check out the BRAND NEW, 5 Day Email Challenge on Compared to Who? the website: www.comparedtowho.me press the: Take the Challenge button!