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Cole Giannone uses they/them pronouns, and identifies as a combination of queer, trans non-binary, and transmasc. However, back when they were in high school (and well before all of these terms were commonplace), Cole was Nicole's first girlfriend! Cole and Nicole look back on their relationship, and examine how it was affected by elements of their identities that neither of them could put a name to at the time. Plus, the complexities of raising a child when it comes to gender - both theirs AND yours!

British indie folk singer songwriter Enny Owl used to pray that the girl she had a crush on wouldn't come to class, because she believed that the butterflies she felt around her were sinful. Today, she identifies as "a queer pi" (because she's torn between bi and pan), and plays us the first song she ever wrote using female pronouns! Enny shares how internalized biphobia made her suppress her attraction to men in an attempt to prove she was gay, we examine the concept of "the other woman," and more!

We're kicking off 2021 with a huge guest: Alex Blue Davis of She-Ra and Grey's Anatomy! Alex always identified as male, but when he lost his dad at a very young age, he shut down, and decided to just be what everyone thought he was. Alex shares how an out lesbian camp counselor changed his life when he was fourteen...until a traumatic incident following that formative summer sent him running back into the closet. Alex's story is one of survival, and it's an incredibly inspiring way to start off a new year!

It's our end-of-the-year MAILBAG EPISODE! We take on questions about finding and connecting with queer culture and community, navigating the waters of being bi+ in a hetero-presenting relationship, and having doubts about your identity post-coming out. We also tackle a series of *very* sticky queries about gender, because why not end the year with a bang?! All this, plus some fun ways to still have us in your earholes next week, even though we're taking a l'il hiatus. YOU SURVIVED 2020! CELEBRATE WITH US!

Emily Goss (Dating in Place; Season of Love; Snapshots) has played a multitude of queer roles, and yet it's only very recently that she felt comfortable enough to start identifying as bisexual. She talks about the childhood event that made her retreat from being a masculine tomboy, and we dissect the universal experience of feeling like an imposter when everyone else seems like "a professional queer." Also, the Hot Butch Woman (TM) Emily saw over a decade ago, but still vividly remembers... @emilygoss650

We brought on an Elliott to talk about an Elliot! For quite a while, Puerto Rican writer/director Elliott Feliciano (OutFest's "To Be With You") only saw examples of trans women in media - and the few trans men he did see were all white. It wasn't until he came across model Laith Ashley that he first felt he saw himself. Elliott talks transitioning at thirty-five, and why he uses both "he" and "they" pronouns. Also, we dig into Elliot Page's epic announcement - the joy *and* the controversy, oh my!

Actor/singer/producer Haviland Stillwell (BIFL) is on the femme-presenting side of the spectrum, so she is *very* familiar with the concept of "you never stop coming out" (pro-tip: having a wife helps). As a gay actress who is almost always cast as straight, we thought she'd be the perfect guest to discuss the current hot topic of "authenticity" in the casting of queer roles. Haviland talks being perceived as "not gay enough" - especially by queer filmmakers - and, yes; we GET INTO IT over Happiest Season!

Well, Lauren had another tweet go viral and made a ton of people angry again! But on the upside, it brought up something we've wanted to discuss for a while: triggers. Episode 11 guest (and Nicole's girlfriend) Mandahla Rose comes back to talk about navigating trauma that occurred while she was in foster care. She discusses learning to have agency over daily triggers, and we talk about the prevalence of LGBTQ trauma, and offer resources for healing. (TW: sexual abuse) Follow Mandahla at @twiistedrose

Writer, actress, host, and Twitter darling Dani Fernandez joins us on the pod for an amazing crash-course in self-love! Dani (who identifies as bi and Chicana) developed curves early, and was teased and shamed for...you know, having a body. She shares how she learned to love the way she looks, and how sexy photoshoots have allowed her to reclaim her own body. Also: the scam the patriarchy has pulled on bisexuality! Salma Hayek! And why we all need to be posting WAY more thirst traps! @msdanifernandez

We welcome actor Melissa Weisz, the other half of The Forbidden Apple Podcast and our first ever (former) Hasidic Jew! At nineteen, Melissa was engaged to a man in an arranged marriage...yet in a surprise twist, it was *not* her burgeoning queerness that eventually led to the end of that relationship. Melissa shares how being raised in such a confining religion resulted in a fear of joining other communities (including the queer community); we learn about Jewish "family purity laws," and SO much more!!

We went live on Instagram the morning after the election to talk to each other and all of you about what the hell is happening!!! We discuss the still-very-much-in-process results, offer ideas for how to keep from going crazy in the days (weeks?!) to follow, and talk the merits and drawbacks of trying to engage in compassionate conversation with people across the aisle. IT'S AMERICA'S COMING OUT, Y'ALL! Mentioned in this ep: lalgbtcenter.org/culture-education/community-groups comingoutpod.com/media

We got another young 'un! 18-year-old Ruby Farley hasn't ever really come out in the traditional sense, but identifies as queer because "that's the closest word I can find." She talks about being raised in a home that was very open about sex and sexuality, and shares how childhood trauma ultimately gave her an enormous capacity for empathy. We also discuss the ways in which social media has failed us in terms of communication, and what it's like watching from the outside as your sibling transitions.

We're back with the absolutely wonderful Pelayo Alvarez of The Forbidden Apple, a podcast that explores the relationship between queer people and spirituality. Spanish-born and Catholic-raised Pelayo (who recently came out to his entire family over Zoom!) discusses reclaiming the idea of being "shameless," and the complexities of being out when you work in international relations. Also, the eminent wisdom of Keke Palmer! YouTube: youtube.com/pelayoaf IG: @theforbiddenapplepodcast Twitter: @TFA_POD

In a special mini-episode, we share the origins of the phrase "coming out" (spoiler alert: it's super-gay), make some exciting announcements, and hear a message of encouragement from a much beloved former guest! HAPPY NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY, Y'ALL! And check out: comingoutpod.com/media freedhearts.org karenpacent.com quibi.com/shows/sexology-with-shan-593/ "We Have Jobs We Swear" on Spotify and Apple Podcasts

At long last, we're talking All Things J.K. Rowling, and we've brought on the *perfect* guest to help us wade through this IMMENSE topic. Comedian Violet Gray identifies as gender-variant, and had to come out not only in the stand-up scene, but also the librarian scene and the Ren Faire scene! We discuss where we think Rowling's views stem from, why and how she was able to essentially be radicalized online, and MUCH more. It's an incredibly nuanced conversation, and we can't wait to hear what you think!

In Part 2 of our epic polyamory episode, Gustav (Nicole's husband) and Mandahla (Nicole's girlfriend) talk about the evolution of the "trinity" they've created with Nicole! Gustav discusses why he was open (pun intended) to a poly relationship, even though he'd previously only known monogamy. Conversely, Mandahla shares why she was resistant...yet kept coming back around to Nicole and this particular poly relationship. It's a super-honest talk about the ups and downs of love, jealousy, and hyper-commitment!

You've been asking for it for over a year now, and the moment has finally arrived: it's Nicole's *poly* coming out story! An episode SO epic, it's our first ever two-parter! In this first half, Nicole tells Lauren the long and sometimes painful journey that finally led to her understanding that she was polyamorous. She digs into her fear of being perceived as "a bisexual stereotype," and we bust polyamory myths and define more terms than a sexy dictionary! Strap in, and get your POLY EDUCATION!

We finally take on the topic of cancel culture, and HOO BOY, do we have a lot to say! Author, speaker, and advocate Amanda Jetté Knox was in a hetero marriage when her 11-year-old came out as trans...but that was only the beginning! We talk about their family's incredible journey, and how it ironically led to Amanda being attacked online by the very community she so fiercely advocated for. You'll laugh! You'll cry! And you'll love (or hate) some of our opinions... amandajetteknox.com / @MavenOfMayhem

We take our first foray into the world of professional sports with ESPN personality Israel Gutierrez! Until the age of 31, Izzy would only allow himself to go to gay bars once a year, and only when he was out of town. He talks about the man he met on one of those trips who helped him come out, and shares the emotional story of how he finally told his family. Also, we discuss how sports and politics have collided, and how being out actually ended up giving Izzy's career *more* meaning. IG: @mrizgutierrez

Jessica Lillebo lives in Alabama, and is a longtime listener of the pod. However, as a trans woman, she was hurt by some things that Nicole brought up in Episode 110, so she reached out. And lest you think Nicole doesn't practice what she preaches re: talking things out in person, she and Jessica had a FaceTime sesh to discuss! We wanted to share their conversation, and invite Jessica on the podcast to talk about being trans in Alabama, explain how she told her kids, and more! Say hi on IG at @jess_1ill!