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Sides: Horror Movies--(Various) Time for another episode of Cold Open--"Sides" edition! In television production, “sides” are a booklet of mini script pages given out daily that reflect writing changes and scene updates for what is scheduled to be shot for that day. Our version of “sides” are mini episodes that don’t fit within the context of a larger episode, but that we feel a need to share with the world nonetheless. Today, in honor of the movie "Midsommar" by writer/director Ari Aster coming out on July 3, 2019, (https://a24films.com/films/midsommar) we wanted to release this quickie episode of a recent discussion we had about horror movies, including films like "Paranormal Activity," "The Conjuring" (1 & 2), "The Nun," "It Follows," "The VVitch," "The Ritual," "Calibre," and of course, "Hereditary." If anyone has recommendations for good horror movies--emphasis on GOOD--holla at ya girls on IG and Twitter @coldopenpodcast. Enjoy! #buzzfeedsupernatural #paranormalactivity #expeditionunknown #theconjuring #theconjuring2 #thenun #LPOTL #itfollows #hereditary #thehauntingofhillhouse #wehavealwayslivedinthecastle #theritual #calibre #thewitch #thevvitch #salem #horrormovies #horror Royalty Free Music from Bensound

Episode 1.11: Poisons & Gargoyles & Man-Bears?!—(Riverdale, The CW) Season Three of The CW’s current flagship show “Riverdale” continues to disappoint. But fear not! We are here to rehash the good (rare), the bad (brutal), and the ugly (the return of Chic Cooper) of the ENTIRE SEASON. Buckle up bitches, it’s a bumpy ride into The Town With Pep! (Double warning: Spoilers and NSFW). Chat back @coldopenpodcast on IG & Twitter! Suggested hashtags for this ep: #tarathorntonsyndrome #prayersforarchie #rivermales #consequencesareofnoconsequence #sprinkletaint #allhailbettycooper #navyrecruiting #riverdale #colesprouse #lilireinhart #kjapa #camilamendes #camimendes #madelainepetsch #madelame #jugheadjones #bettycooper #archieandrews #veronicalodge #cherylblossom #tonitopaz #alicecooper #madchenamick #fpjones #skeetulrich #lukeperry #fredandrews #choni #bughead #varchie #veggie #falice #girlpower #gryphonsandgargoyles  Royalty Free Music from Bensound

Episode 1.10: America’s Next Top God-el—(American Gods, Starz) Season Two of Starz’ “American Gods” is getting universally panned following a total letdown-bummer of a season finale. Join us as we take a more micro view and tell each other our Top 2 Favourite and Bottom 2 Least Favourite characters from the show—how do they stack up against yours? Let us know @coldopenpodcast on IG & Twitter! We also theorize about the symbolism behind the Sun Godking vs. Moon Shadow, and what Ian McShane must smell like. Watcha Watchin’ This Week: (1:30:00) Since we’ve been binging AG this week, it’s more of a “Watcha Excited to Watch.” We talk Netflix queues and future episode fodder. Suggested hashtags for this ep: #bringasecondsweater #madmoon4lyfe #I’llgotoTargetwithyouandwecangetaStarbucksbutI’mnotfightingaleprechaunforyou #AmericanGods #Starz #BryanFuller #NeilGaiman #MadSweeney #ShadowMoon #RickyWhittle #PabloSchreiber #LauraMoon #EmilyBrowning #MrWednesday #Odin #IanMcShane #Bilquis #MrNancy #Ibis Royalty Free Music from Bensound

Episode 1.09: Not a Podcast—(The Good Place, NBC/Hulu/Netflix) We’re back, benches! After a hiatus filled with rewatchings of “Next Top Model” and “Dr. Pimple Popper,” we FINALLY agreed on a show worthy of doin’ a ‘cast: NBC’s “The Good Place.” Join us as we dive deeeeep into our theories on what’s REALLY going on wtih Team Cockroach. We discuss the meanings behind all the characters names, the reasons Janet is God, and how Mike Schur does nothing by accident, y’all. (Skip to the 33-minute mark for theories). If you’re new here, SPOILERZ ABOUND, so make sure you are caught up on season 3! Let us know if we’re way off the forkin’ mark (or tell us what the seven deadly sins ACTUALLY are) @coldopenpodcast on IG & Twitter! Watcha Watchin’ This Week: (1:09) Rhi declares herself a die-hard #schitthead in her love for “Schitt’s Creek,” and praises the subtlety of “Letterkenny”; Jamie Lynn points out that “Brooklyn 9-9” is just “Parks & Rec” with a different cast; puzzles about the movie “An Evening with Beverly Luff-Linn”; and warns Rhi that there is a fifteenth season of “Supernatural” coming down the pike. Suggested hashtags for this ep: #notagod #inthisessayiwill #topplingastatuelikeyado #wherearetheangels #sevenisenough #thegoodplace #jeremybearimy  #letterkenny #schittscreek #schitthead #ewdavid #B99 #brooklyn99 #brooklynninenine #jaredkeeso #chelseaperetti #jakeperalta #chidianagonye #eleanorshellstrop #tahanialjamil #jasonmendoza #williamjacksonharper #kristenbell #teddanson #darcycarden #jameelajamil #mannyjacinto #adamscott #mayarudolph #mikeschur #parksandrec #theoffice Royalty Free Music from Bensound

Episode 1.08: CAOS Reigns Supreme—(The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Netflix) This week, we can barely contain our excitement as we discuss Netflix’s newest binge-worthy release, “The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina” based on the comics reboot by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa (@writerRAS) and Robert Hack (@roberthack). We compare/contrast to the comic universe, the 90s television series “Sabrina the Teenage Witch,” and share our most outrageous theories (jump to the 29-minute mark if you can’t contain yourself…). As always, SPOILER ALERT uh doyyyyy If you are as obsessed with all things Spellman as we are, let us know @coldopenpodcast on IG & Twitter! Watcha Watchin’ This Week: (1:18:00) Rhi sticks to the witchy theme with the new version of “Charmed”; Jamie Lynn declares herself both a #Shaneiac AND a #Boogara—because who can choose just one of those precious boys on “Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural”?! Suggested hashtags for this ep: #buffyvibes #levelstothisshit #cayingpit #goblinsvhobgoblins #witchesofcolor #respectmyskauthoritay #embarrasingconfessions #youtube #buzzfeedunsolved #buzzfeed #charmed #CAOS #netflix #sabrinaspellman Royalty Free Music from Bensound

Episode 1.07: The Hills Are Alive With Musical Eyes—(The Haunting of Hill House, Netflix) Join us as we recap our recent daytrip to Salem, MA, and dive deep into the psyche of “The Haunting of Hill House,” now streaming on Netflix (has anyone else noticed the “Fixer Upper” parallels?!). SPOILERS ABOUND! We discuss the Bent-Neck Lady, that funeral home bottle episode, and why Hugh Crain’s eyes look creepy AF. Watcha Watchin’ This Week: "Riverdale" is back for Season 3 and oh boy, we cannot keep from dishing on the first two episodes! Droppin’ babies, lawyer moms, and juvie football riots—this season has it all. (skip ahead to the 80-minute mark) Suggested hashtags for this ep: #depressingoriginstory #salemthetownwithpep #putonyourbutts #theredroomofrequirement #thatlucillebluthtip #spookyfixerupper Find us on Instagram and Twitter @coldopenpodcast! #thehauntingofhillhouse #shirleyjackson #netflix #salem #riverdale #girlpower #television Royalty Free Music from Bensound

Episode 1.06 My Favorite Halloween Episodes—(Various) We discuss our favourite Halloween episodes of shows old and new! And also armpit botox and Lysol douching? (We apologize in advance). Rhi pitches an idea to streaming services: let us make playlists of specific episodes to aid our holiday-themed binges! We don’t want to spoil our picks, but here’s some hashtag hints: #coolsexydracula #notmisspiggy #femininity #liljonontheprairie #diabolicalsockpuppet #catnecromancy #halloweenheist #nemesises #sluttyghost #dontfuckwithcelticwitches Watcha Watchin’ This Week: JL has been tripping out to “Broad City” for the millionth rewatch (#holocaustbuttdiamonds); Rhi has delved into “Major Dad” and got reboot buy-in from Rob Riggle’s Twitter bot. Find us on Instagram and Twitter @coldopenpodcast! #halloween, #spoopy, #buffy, #buffythevampireslayer, #willowrosenberg, #sethgreen, #oz, #ethanrayne, #rupertgiles, #tonyhead, #xanderharris, #nicholasbrendon, #supernatural, #deanwinchester, #samwinchester, #samhain, #vanir, #castiel, #uriel, #lucifer, #erickripke, #jensenackles, #jaredpadalecki, #thesimpsons, #treehouseofhorror, #trilogyofterror, #krusty, #areyouafraidofthedark, #scholasticbookorder, #beverlyhills90210, #community, #joelmchale, #jeffwinger, #brittaperry, #gillianjacobs, #annieedison, #allisonbrie, #yvettenicolebrown, #chevychase, #troybarnes, #donaldglover, #childishgambino, #jimrash, #deanpelton, #abed, #dannypudi, #troyandabed, #kenjeong, #professorchang, #danharmon, #brooklynninenine, #brooklyn99, #DanGoor, #MichaelSchur, #AndySamberg, #StephanieBeatriz, #TerryCrews, #MelissaFumero, #JoeLoTruglio, #ChelseaPeretti, #AndreBraugher, #JakePeralta, #RosaDiaz, #TerryJeffords, #AmySantiago, #CharlesBoyle, #GinaLinetti, #themindyproject, #mindyproject, #mindykaling, #bjnovak, #ChrisMessina, #EdWeeks, #AnnaCamp, #ZoeJarman, #AmandaSetton, #IkeBarinholtz, #BethGrant, #XoshaRoquemore, #AdamPally, #FortuneFeimster, #garretdillahunt, #dannyCastellano, #mindylahiri, #30rock, #parksandrec, #theoffice, #broadcity, #abbijacobson, #ilanaglazer, #hulu, #robriggle, #majordad Royalty Free Music from Bensound

Sides: Riverdale Tarot Reading for Betty Cooper—(Riverdale, The CW) (Pre-Season 3) Introducing “Sides!” In television production, “sides” are a booklet of mini script pages given out daily that reflect writing changes and scene updates for what is scheduled to be shot for that day. Our version of “sides” are mini episodes that don’t fit within the context of a larger episode, but that we feel a need to share with the world nonetheless. In this “Sides” episode, we pull cards for "Riverdale"’s Betty Cooper to predict what struggles her character will face in season 3. Listen to us discuss "Riverdale" & Betty using the framework of the tarot! Deck Used: The Marigold Tarot from https://shopamritbrar.com/ Spread: 5-card issue/experience spread from https://pin.it/zrvhvcppcqwccq (http://tarotgram.tumblr.com/) Tarot Interpretation: courtesy of https://www.biddytarot.com/ (The best!) Background Music: “Mad World” cover by the Riverdale cast from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jx5B4sWqYxs Find us on Instagram and Twitter @coldopenpodcast! #riverdale #riverdalestrong #colesprouse #lilireinhart #kjapa #camilamendes #camimendes #madelainepetsch #madelame #jugheadjones #bettycooper #archieandrews #veronicalodge #cherylblossom #tonitopaz #alicecooper #madchenamick #fpjones #skeetulrich #choni #bughead #varchie #falice #robertoaguirresacasa #southside #serpents #southsideserpents  #tarot #marigoldtarotdeck #biddytarot #witch #wicca #sabrina #CAOS #sabrinaspellman #riverdalewriters #riverdaletarot #hemlockgrove #castlerock #billskarsgard Royalty Free Music from Bensound

Episode 1.05: We Both Chose BJs We discuss our Big Love for Mindy Kaling, actress/produceress/writeress extraordinaire, and her flagship show “The Mindy Project.” In this episode: Is the rom-com genre is reassuring or insane? Realtalk about Mindy Lahiri never dating POC. Our feelings about Danny Castellano trying to force her into a SAHM role (spoiler alert: we’re not happy about it). Should Mindy Kaling dump BJ Novak for Cory Booker? (Hells yes). And our favorite/least favorite love interests and supporting characters on the show. Watcha Watchin’ This Week: Rhi gets her “bro” on with a rewatch of “Entourage.” JL digs the creepy vibes in “Castle Rock,” but does not appreciate them filming in Massachusetts. #stephenkingistheryanmurphyofbooks Bonus: listen to JL’s Stephen King story on the "My Favorite Murder" Minisode 87 at https://spoti.fi/2MCtYqe! #themindyproject #mindyproject #mindykaling #bjnovak #ChrisMessina #EdWeeks #AnnaCamp #ZoeJarman #AmandaSetton #IkeBarinholtz #BethGrant #XoshaRoquemore #AdamPally #FortuneFeimster #garretdillahunt #dannyCastellano #mindylahiri #theoffice #champions #entourage #stephenking #IT #castlerock #jjabrams #startrekreboot #billskarsgard #cujo #myfavoritemurder #mfm Royalty Free Music from Bensound

Episode 1.04: People, Places, and Things! This week, we visit good ole’ Pawnee, Indiana for some femspiration in the form of “Parks and Recreation.” We each pick three of our favourite episodes and deep dive into top moments, memorable quotes, and lessons learned by the characters (and the writers, hopefully). If you also miss P&R, find us on Instagram and Twitter @coldopenpodcast and let us know which episodes YOU loved. Watcha Watchin’ This Week: Rhi goes “Younger” with Nico Tortellini et al.; we talk TOWIE (“The Only Way Is Essex”), vajazzling, and how British accents calm us down. Find us on Instagram and Twitter @coldopenpodcast! #parksandrecreation, #parksandrec, #pawnee, #leslieknope, #ronswanson, #annperkins, #rashidajones, #adamscott, #benwyatt, #christraeger, #roblowe, #tomhaverford, #donnameagle, #aprilludgate, #aprilludgatedwyer, #andydwyer, #amypoehler, #nickofferman, #azizansari, #retta, #aubreyplaza, #chrispratt, #younger, #nicotortorella, #TOWIE, #theonlywayisessex, #hilaryduff, #suttonfoster, #girlpower Royalty Free Music from Bensound

Episode 1.03: Kiss My Aestel If you actually know what an aestel is, congratulations! You are probably already a fan of the BBC show “Detectorists.” Or a major Anglo-Saxon religious history buff. Either way, you will enjoy this trip through the provincial goings-on of the Danebury Metal Detecting Club and the laudable writing, directing, and acting of Mackenzie Crook. Special Guest: Nic (JL’s hubs) Whatcha Watchin' This Week: Nic goes through the looking glass with the fourth season of “Black Mirror,” and compares Netflix’s “Lost in Space” to the mid-2000s BSG reboot. Jamie Lynn is sad that Hulu is expiring “Unsolved Mysteries,” and the couple gives their first impressions of Sacha Baron Cohen’s new show “Who is America?” Find us on Instagram and Twitter @coldopenpodcast! #detectorists, #BBC, #DMDC, #daneburymetaldetectingclub, #mackenziecrook, #tobyjones, #blackmirror, #lostinspace, #unsolvedmysteries, #whoisamerica, #sachabaroncohen, #girlpower Royalty Free Music from Bensound

Episode 1.02: Make Riverdale Great Again We shipped Season 1 of Riverdale hardcore: Bughead, possible twincest, implied motorcycles, rad dad Fred Andrews…the list goes on. So what the heck happened to Season 2?! (Spoiler alert: we theorize perhaps lead poisoning or a carbon monoxide leak in the writers room). Whatcha Watchin' This Week: Rhi breaks the fourth wall with "House of Lies;" Jamie Lynn solves the mystery of "The Staircase" (He's innocent!...Is he innocent?) and shares her Pro Tip: use "The Joel McHale Show with Joel McHale" to shop for new shows to watch. Find us on Instagram and Twitter @coldopenpodcast! #riverdale, #riverdalestrong, #colesprouse, #lilireinhart, #kjapa, #camilamendes, #camimendes, #madelainepetsch, #madelame, #jugheadjones, #bettycooper, #archieandrews, #veronicalodge, #cherylblossom, #tonitopaz, #alicecooper, #madchenamick, #fpjones, #skeetulrich, #choni, #bughead, #varchie, #falice, #houseoflies, #thestaircase, #joelmchale, #girlpower Royalty Free Music from Bensound

Episode 1.01: Queer "Cry" Who doesn't love the reboot of Queer Eye on Netflix?? This show makes us laugh, cry, sashay, cry, and want to cut ALL the avocados. Special Guest: Amber Miller  (@Amber64170371) Whatcha Watchin' This Week: Jamie Lynn regales us with her first encounter with Bicycle Girl ("The Walking Dead") and why a certain show ought to be called "The Unbreakable Titus Andromedon." Rhi casts her vote for "Veep," and Amber shares insider knowledge about the STD testing on "The Bachelorette." Find us on Instagram and Twitter @coldopenpodcast! #thewalkingdead #netflix  #veep #unbreakablekimmyschmidt #kimmyschmidt #thebachelorette #thebachelor #queereye #antoniporowski #jvn #jonathanvanness #karamobrown #tanfrance #bobbyberk #girlpower Royalty Free Music from Bensound