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Intro Background (0:57) Terra created by Marv Wolfman & George Perez in New Teen Titans #26 (Dec. 1982) Tara Markov is the illegitimate child of Viktor Markov, the king of Markovia She was experimented on and gained the ability to control earthen matter Unlike her brother Geo-Force, she believed her abilities made her a god, and she was meant to rule over people - this, coupled with the scandal of her parentage, caused her father to send her out of the country to the US Used her powers as a mercenary, eventually gaining the attention of Deathstroke, who took her under his wing Used her to infiltrate the Teen Titans, even going so far as to battle him to earn their trust After Deathstroke captured them, his son Jericho possessed him to free the Titans - this caused Terra to think he turned on her, and she pulled down the entire building in a fit of rage, seemingly killing herself Returns as a Black Lantern during Blackest Night - tries to seduce Beast Boy, and lies to her brother Geo-Force that she doesn’t want to be reanimated A doppleganger later appeared - she was an alien sent to Earth and genetically manipulated to appear as the reincarnation of Tara, but the process erased her memory A new Terra named Atlee shows up in the New 52 as an ally of Supergirl and later Power Girl Issues - theme of manipulation (5:55) How her sociopathy relates to actual antisocial personality disorder Rejected by her father because of the nature of her parentage (13:44) Manipulated by Deathstroke to be his pawn (21:50) Break Plugs for BetterHelp, Harpy Hour, and Saladin Ahmed Treatment (32:57) In-universe - Use clay as a metaphor during play therapy treatment session Out of universe - Volatile & BPD issues (40:37) Skit (feat. Erin from Girls Talk Comics) (47:15) Doc: Hello Tara, I’m Dr. Issues. Terra: *cheerily* Hiiii D: Ooooookay…um, what brings you to T: *interrupts* What? Just because I greeted you with a smile and I’m happy makes you suspicious? You need to get over yourself. D: *pause* Not at all! I just got thrown off because usually the people that seek my guidance are exactly the opposite…or more neutral. I should also inform you that I have several quirks that lead some people to think I’m reading more into what they’re saying than I am. T: But you’re a psychiatrist. Your job is to read people. That’s my job too, just for different reasons. D: I see. Care to elaborate? T: Nope. D: *pause* T: This is where you dig into what I really mean. D: You gave a very clear answer. If that’s all, then T: WAIT WAIT WAIT What is this? ***What the fuck IS THIS?*** You just give up on someone the second they show a little resistance? You’re…weird. Are you a loser? Are you fascinating? I don’t know which. D: So how will you find out? Hurl more insults? Honestly, I haven’t had someone so reactive in a bit. I’m chill, so you do you. T: ***THIS IS BULLSHIT*** You’re supposed to comfort me to calm me down, not be all passive aggressive! Are you sure you’re a psychiatrist? What am I even doing here? D: It’s clear that you have some trouble managing anger when you don’t run the show. I’m trying to strike that balance…but the fulcrum on your conversations makes every sentence a catapult! Who does the best job navigating this out of anyone you know? T: Two of them…and in different ways. D: How so? T: The first…if I talk about him, you’re dead, so I won’t. He was easy because he gave a job. Purpose. I did it perfectly. And he crushed our trust so I crushed everything around me. The other…ohhhhhhh…he’s an animal…ANY animal…complete opposite. So much fun I’d do anything for that boy. D: To summarize, the first practical, the other whimsical. That means you have the potential to connect with a full spectrum of people. Perhaps blending a team T: *Interrupts* NO D: *pause* A support group.  T: Better. D: I have to acknowledge that your reactivity made benefit from med T: *interrupts* People putting things in my body is what made me go crazy! STOP! NO MORE! *rumble sound effects* D: I’m not going to yell back. I’m not forcing anything, unless you demonstrate a danger, so please, let’s keep this civil. Neither of us need to deal with damage to this office. *sotte voce* And my insurance company is gonna drop me if I file one more claim like this. T: I’ve had enough of this. You claim to be this super calm doctor and have all of my problems figured out, but you don’t know a thing about me. You have a great life. You never had to build trust and break it, and have it broken on you, over and over again! You never got so enraged you basically killed yourself! You didn’t find the love of your life and have to throw yourself at them just to get a kiss! Tell me, how would you handle that? How would you be in my shoes? D: I’d probably freak out a bit. I’d have intense emotions, and I don’t know how or when they’d overwhelm  me. For all I know, I’d react similarly to you, because I’m a living, breathing human and nobody deserves to be put through pain. But pain exists. Channel it. Do something different. Otherwise, you’re just going to spread pain to everyone else. T: *groans and screams* I AM OUT OF HERE. You’re lucky your office isn’t a pile of rubble right now. Think about THAT! ***Fucking obnoxious prick!*** *door slams* D: *sigh* *whispers* 5-4-3-2- T: *door opens* AND THE NEXT SESSION I’LL TALK ABOUT DEATHSTROKE SO HE CAN KILL YOU. *switches to cheery* Thursday afternoons work the best, byeeee! Ending (51:35) Recommended reading: Teen Titans: The Judas Contract Next episodes: Ben Grimm, Alex Summers, Echo Plugs for social Apple Podcasts: here Google Play: here Stitcher: here TuneIn: here iHeartRadio: here Spotify: here Twitter Facebook Patreon TeePublic Discord

Intro Welcome to Season 7 Having a baby girl in May :)  Pocus Hocus giveaway coming soon on IG Episode 150 coming soon Background Jessica Drew created by Archie Goodwin and Marie Severin in Marvel Spotlight #32 (Feb. 1977) In her first appearance, she was a spider who evolved into a human That was later retconned - her origin is when she was young, she became sick, and her father injected her with an experimental dose of irradiated spider’s blood, and put her in a chamber to incubate, but while she was in there her mother died and her father left - she spent decades in the chamber, but came out only aged to 17 #BecauseComics THAT origin was then altered - her mother was hit with a beam of radiation with the DNA of several varieties of spiders, and her parents were actually working with/for HYDRA as scientists She leaves Wundagore and is captured by HYDRA, who train her as a spy to assassinate Nick Fury - she accidentally kills her handler, at which point she discovers the truth and defects, becoming a SHIELD agent (also revealing that the “evolved spider” was part of HYDRA’s brainwashing) Works as a private investigator while simultaneously being Spider-Woman Joins the New Avengers and helps the heroes recapture all the villains that escaped the Raft - later revealed that this was actually Skrull Queen Veranke in disguise, which led to the Secret Invasion Abigail Brand invites her to join SWORD and kill hostile aliens on Earth Played a major part in Spider-Verse After that, she quit the Avengers and began focusing on small-time help, using Ben Urich and Roger Gocking, the reformed Porcupine, as aides Recently gave birth, using artificial insemination from an anonymous donor - her son Gerry inherited her powers Issues (11:32) From Ruby - reluctance in trusting others Constantly having to reassure people she's not Vernake (17:05) Earlier in career, dealing with distance & uncertainty around people because of her lack of familiarity with them (22:40) Break (28:50) Plugs for BetterHelp, Nerd Crusade, and Howard Mackie Treatment (30:20) In-universe - Focus on genetics, including passing it along to Gerry Out of universe - Focus on trauma - similar to Dr. Scarlet (guest on our Black Widow episode) (34:04) Skit (feat. Jessica from Girls Talk Comics) (41:35) Doc: Hello Jessica, I’m Dr. Issues. Jessica: *sarcastically joking/tongue in cheek* What’s up, Doc? D: Hardy har har, never heard that one before. J: Sorry, had to get that out. D: Understood. Bad jokes are hard to let go. So, what can I help you untangle in your psyche? J:Touche. I *yawn* sorry, Gerry-my son-kept me up last night, and I’m trying my hardest to get my 3 functioning neurons to cooperate. Do you have any kids? D: Sure do. I remember those nights. Never enough coffee. J: If I could walk around with a permanent IV drip of espresso, it wouldn’t be enough some days. Why do we do this to ourselves? D: It’s biologically driven, because kids are cute meat blobs that would die without us. J: Yeah, they are adorable little parasites, aren’t they? Sucking the life and the soul out of you all the time, and yet one smile or laugh and they give it all back. D: *laughs* Before this gets too dark, we really should talk about how caring for a child is affecting you. J: Me personally or the superheroing? D: Well…whichever one makes you the most distressed? I can guess though, because most people feel like they only should focus on the personal side and tend to throw any other part of their life to the wayside…not that I agree with that, but that’s the tendency I’ve observed. J: I dunno… I guess the super stuff stresses me out more, at least as it relates to him. Because it seems like it’s less natural to me than being a mom, even though I never fully envisioned myself as either… if that makes any kinda sense, I realize this is the caffeinated ramblings of an exhausted parent, but I’m really trying my best not to fall over here. D: Mommy brain (and daddy brain, for that matter) are a real thing. You’re making sense.  J: OK good. It’s just… I wasn’t really *raised*, per se, I was incubated. Relating to people never came easy for me. Certainly didn’t have any great parental figures to speak of, unless you count Bova, and I don’t know any normal people who were raised by a humanoid cow. So when I decided to have Gerry, it was like finishing a puzzle where I didn’t realize I was missing any pieces. Every day with him has been a joy. D: Then let’s say you’re doing the best job you can with him. What’s the problem with being a superhero? *pause* That’s a moronic thing to ask, huh? J: Not the dumbest question I’ve heard today. My… partner had a complete misunderstanding about feeding Gerry today, and I had to explain that infants are not supposed to eat Lindor truffles. Anyway, to your point… it’s more about the fact that I’ve had these powers and skillset for a long time, and I still don’t entirely feel comfortable with them. Having a kid on top of it… it feels like an uncomfortable suit that I can’t take off. And if you crack a joke about my costume, I’ll zap you so hard you’ll wake up next week. D: I have no intentions of agitating you. The random mix of events that led you to your current life are not something to mock. Let me say from the start that there’s no such thing as getting it all exactly right. Do you have any resentment about your status? I’ve met plenty of people that wish for things to be different. J: Oh I got past the resentment part ages ago. Yeah, it ate me up for a long time, and yes I took it out on some people that probably didn’t deserve it. But then I wouldn’t be where I am, and I probably wouldn’t have Gerry. So in that respect it works out. The thing that gets me is more about… feeling this, pull, obligation, whatever you wanna call it, towards the hero thing. It’s like, I’m doing the mom thing, but then I need to get out because if I don’t leave the house someone is going to get hurt, likely Roger, so I get some fresh air. While I’m taking my break, someone inevitably needs help, because everyone in New York City is incapable of going more than a week without being attacked by some souped-up genetic mistake, so then I have to swoop in and save their sorry ass, because otherwise word will get out that Spider-Woman just happened to be there and didn’t lift a damn finger, and that gives Jameson more fuel for his anti-spider editorials, which is gonna send Parker into a tizzy, and I don’t need that agita, so it’s easier just to save them and move on. D: That…sounds like there maaaaaay be a little bit of left over resentment there…just sayin. Not blaming you, but wow is that an emotional bag to carry. J: Chalk it up to exhaustion. When you get this tired, anything’s liable to come outta my mouth. But I guess I wasn’t as adjusted about this as I thought. Hmph. D: That’s OK, at least you’re aware of it now. I’m a pretty good sounding board. Feel free to blast away…um, not literally. A bit of disclosure here, but I have a similar style to how I deal with exhaustion. No filter. But, that makes me worry, when do you recharge, and how? Can’t when you’re crimefighting, can’t be when you’re taking care of Gerry, so… J: Carol has been clutch when I need a breather, and especially if we’re out and something goes down, she’s waaaaay better equipped to handle stuff than I am. So I sit back and let her wail away on the dude, and then we go on our merry way.  D: Nice delegation. I like it. I need to do more of that myself. Thanks for the reminder. So, what’s your ideal balance? Brainstorm it. No idea is too crazy. J: Hoo boy, that’s asking a lot for the already exhausted hamster upstairs, but I’ll kick him in the ass and see what I can come up with. Umm… *phone vibrates* Dammit, hold on a sec, it’s Roger. I told him only to message me if it’s an emergency, and… *pause* Alright, I gotta go. D: Everything OK? J: If by “OK” you mean “my kid sparked an electrical fire that burnt a hole through the kitchen wall and spread to my neighbor’s place”, then yeah, it’s peachy keen. Sorry Doc, we’ll pick this up again next time. And maybe then I’ll bring a few extra neurons to make it an even half dozen, and we can have a real conversation. Ending Recommended reading: Spider-Woman vol 6 by Dennis Hallum & Javier Rodriguez Next episodes: Terra, Ben Grimm, Alex Summers Plugs for social References: “Helpless” from Hamilton - Doc (8:12) Dr. Janina Scarlet/Black Widow episode - Anthony (34:15) Apple Podcasts: here Google Play: here Stitcher: here TuneIn: here iHeartRadio: here Spotify: here Twitter Facebook Patreon TeePublic Discord

Intro Season finale New patron - Tamara Patreon paused for December Background (3:05) Polaris (Lorna Sally Dane) created by Arnold Drake and Jim Steranko in X-Men #49 (October 1968) Lorna Dane summoned to the X-Men by the mutant villain Mesmero, who mentally called upon all mutants to help him fight the team Magneto showed up to rescue her and claimed to be her father, explaining why she has his same magnetic abilities - Iceman spoke to her foster parents, who told her that her birth parents died in a plane crash - she joined the team and began a relationship with Havok Erik the Red, a Shi’ar agent, telepathically controlled her and gave her the name Polaris - she was freed by Xavier, but kept the name Gained a secondary ability to manipulate emotions and use them to enhance her own powers - this was removed after a battle with the Shadow King She & Havok were reserve X-Men for many years, until joining X-Factor - left the team after his apparent death Helped Magneto run Genosha for a while, as she felt she needed to make amends - she also learned better control over her powers - during this time, it was confirmed that Magneto was her father Rejoined the X-Men after the Genoshan massacre, although she was suffering from trauma as a result Got engaged to Havok, who left her at the altar for a nurse that he had a psychic affair with Was transformed into Pestilence by Apocalypse, and served as one of his Horsemen - after she is returned to normal, she once again quits the X-Men Joins the Starjammers, where she helps the Inhumans as Crystal’s sister-in-law Later learns that her powers manifested at 3 years old - she witnessed her parents arguing about her mother’s infidelity, and her ensuing emotional response triggered her latent magnetic abilities, which crashed the plane they were all on - Magneto showed up and had Mastermind wipe her mind of the memories Currently living on Krakoa where she’s on a team investigating any mutant deaths Issues (6:36) Jeanine - Dealing with constantly revolving powers Her powers impacting those around her, as well as the electrical impulses in her brain (11;51) Her revolving door relationship with her father (18:36) Break (28:17) Plugs for BetterHelp, Take a Knee for Marvel Vs. DC, and Chris Claremont Treatment (29:53) In-universe - Create a machine to use her powers to help regulate her emotions Out of universe - (34:15) Skit (47:39) DOC: Hello Polaris, I’m Dr. Issues. POLARIS: So whaddya wanna talk about first? D: Just cut right to it, eh? P: Not one for beating around the bush. When you’ve seen the stuff I have, you don’t waste time. D: Fair enough. Well if that’s the case, I’ll leave it up to you to choose the topic, and we can go from there. P: I don’t like being manipulated. D: I’m sure you don’t, like most people. P: I don’t mean mislead or gaslit, I mean people actually getting into my brain and making me do things beyond my control. D: I’m...not sure how I can help with that other than to tell you to avoid situations where someone would get that opportunity. P: *bitter* Thanks for nothing. D: Wait! I’m not saying I can’t help you completely, I’m saying I don’t have psychic powers. I didn’t know if that’s what you were looking for; I didn’t want to mislead you...which kind of ties in, right? *nervous laugh* P: Nice save. Yeah, I understand if you thought about it from a mutant perspective. No, I don’t want any psychic stuff. I want...resilience I guess. D: You’ve survived, so that shows a baseline resilience. What sort of emotional and physical responses occur when you think about those situations? P: Everything. All of it. It’s horrible. D: No wonder it’s the first thing on your mind. Not to sound stereotypical, but trauma really does carry its own special kind of baggage. Is this recent stuff, or childhood, or both? P: This is where it gets weird. It started at childhood, but I didn’t know about it, and then there were other problems as I got older that were unrelated to that, but were a direct result of the kid stuff. It sounds convoluted when I say it like that. D: And yet, I was able to follow. Families hide things to theoretically protect the innocent, but there’s the risk of altering the relationship at a later age. P: Exactly! And then I have to sort out all of it. My father, my foster parents, Alex, the other ones who controlled me...it’s too much. D: It sounds like a lot- P: *interrupting* And don't forget everyone that died...they didn’t HAVE to die...I’m not saying it’s my fault...but what if I didn’t do enough...I’m not some hysterical monster! D: Whoa, I didn’t say - P: And don’t say it’s not my fault. I had to be the embodiment of making the worst fears of humanity come true. Whenever someone powerful sees me, they automatically think of me as a commodity. And what’s the fix? Mind wipe. False memories. But all I ever do is keep digging. Nobody was able to keep me from my own truth.  D: Do you have - P: *clear pattern of interrupting from this point* Anybody to help? Yeah. I really do, but how can they understand? They can’t. You can’t understand. *frustrated* Ugh, what’s the point of all this? I know that nobody else has the answers. D: What do you - P: I want trust! I want to be trusted, and to trust other people. Whenever I do, it backfires. I’m just so sick of- D: FIRST OFF, LET ME FINISH. P: Why are you shouting? D: *sigh* I’m trying to match your intensity...although that’s a difficult task. You have identified the problem accurately. For some people, that takes years of counseling, so you’re ahead of the curve. P: Well thank - D: I’m not done. HOWEVER, it’s clear you’re trying to compensate for a historical lack of control with an even bigger focus on commandeering a conversation to your whims. That won’t work for longer periods with a professional. And… P: *pause* and what? D: Oh, I’m sorry, I was just expecting another interruption. Anyway, the point is, trust is not a light switch, even if everyone around you treats it like one. Does that make sense? P: Sure. But try convincing anyone close in my life of that. D: Not gonna give you any BS on that. You’re going to struggle with this for a while. ***electrical sound effects*** what the hell is that? P: I didn’t do anything. D: ***walking effects*** oh, I think we just had a power surge. ***thunder effect*** Damn weather is going crazy. You’d think Storm was… oh no... P: *more electrical effects, possible female scream*  D: Are you okay?! P: *calm* Okay with what?  D: You just look like you got electrocuted. I think we have a blackout in the area. P: That sounds bad. Who are you, by the way? D: NO! P: Oh...well, If you’re gonna be a jerk about it, I’ll introduce myself first. I’m - D: I know who you are...do you remember anything that you already said to me?  P: I asked you who you are, and you have this freaked out look. I’m supposed to meet with a therapist, so if you’re the assistant- D: Let’s just reschedule...no wait, I think if…*rubbing shoes on carpet* hopefully I can build up the static P: It looks like you’re a weird dancer so…*another electric shock sound* D: Ow! I hope that did it P: WHAT KIND OF SICKO PSYCHIATRIST ARE YOU SHOCKING ME LIKE THAT?! I spent all of this time pouring my heart out to you and you turn it into some joke? D: Um...you’re welcome? P: Ugh. You’re just like all of the others! *walks out of the office, door shuts* D: *shouting far* AT LEAST I GAVE YOU YOUR MEMORIES BACK! Ending (52:44) Recommended reading: All-New X-Factor Next episodes: Winter break - back in January with new episodes, incl. Jessica Drew, Terra, and the Thing Thanks to all our Patrons: Humble Citizens Dan, Tamara, Kate; Local Officials Frank, Rey, Jonathan; Mayors Angela, Chad, Devon, Maggie, Matt, Ryan, Tasha; Presidents Ariel, Jeanine, Matt, and Ruby Plugs for social References: Billy Mays & Slap Chop - Anthony (2:40) Star Trek “The line must be drawn here” - Anthony (17:56) Apple Podcasts: here Google Play: here Stitcher: here TuneIn: here iHeartRadio: here Spotify: here Twitter Facebook Patreon TeePublic Discord

Intro Background (1:43) Homelander created by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson in The Boys #3 (Nov. 2006) Introduced as the leader and most powerful member of the Seven, a group of corporate-sponsored superheroes Initially comes off as affable, only to reveal he’s actually a misogynistic jerk - and it gets worse from there Public backstory is that he was an alien who landed on Earth, but in reality his mother was a mentally disabled woman who died in childbirth, and he was the byproduct of genetic experiments from Stormfront, a Nazi superhero - he spent his childhood strapped to a hydrogen bomb in case he tried to escape Homelander hates being a hero, but only does so because Vought pays him handsomely Later revealed that Billy Butcher, head of a group of humans who hate the Seven, has special dislike for Homelander because Homelander raped his wife, who died giving birth to a superpowered baby, which Billy then killed immediately #BecauseComics Homelander is revealed to have no memory of this or many other horrific acts which he is blamed for - this causes him to have a psychotic break and begin doing whatever he wants He has no memory because the horrible acts were actually committed by Black Noir, a clone of Homelander that Vought created to keep Homelander in check - since Black Noir’s sole purpose was to kill Homelander, he gaslit Homelander to drive him insane in order to justify killing him - Homelander and Black Noir fight, and Black Noir kills Homelander, but is injured enough that Billy could finish him off with a crowbar Issues (8:46) Matt: Wow. The layers upon layers to this guy. He really is just the embodiment of the nature versus nurture argument writ large, isn't he? Injected with an artificial compound to give him superpowers in the womb, mother died giving birth to him, spent his entire childhood chained to a hydrogen bomb so he wouldn't escape from Vought. Raised with no other purpose in life but to become a living corporate-sanctioned product whose image and likeness would be sold for profit while he awed and wowed a company's customers. Given every single ounce of hedonistic excess he could ever want by his company to keep him happy and cooperative and, basically, to stop him from using his powers to destroy the world and/or enslave the human race. This naturally instilled in him some deep-seated psychological issues: 1. Entitlement. I mean...holy crap. The man's mantra is, "I can do whatever the fuck I want." Coercing women into sex? Not a problem. Gleefully using his powers against civilians? Assholes shouldn't have been standing there. It's positively bone-chilling the way he doesn't even give his actions a second thought, or much of a first one. 2. Complete lack of empathy. The man does not even consider non-Supes to be people. Absolutely does not care about the damage any of his actions cause. Also can't even be bothered to try to help people in need unless it's his bosses telling him to. On 9/11, doesn't even want to try and save the plane until someone points out they'll probably get fired if they don't. (13:54) 3. Unapologetically racist and sexist. Has a hierarchy, even among his fellow supes. Women are beneath men. Nonwhites are beneath whites. Basically anyone who's not him or just like him is beneath him. Referencing The Deep, as Bill Burr would say, he drops the hard "r", hits the dismount, and sticks the landing. Multiple times. Views Maeve and Starlight as sex objects first, superheroes second. But, and this is a but, it's implied that he at least tried to adhere to the idealism of a hero early on in his career, even if he was a bit of a prick about it. And it was nonstop long-term gaslighting campaign of Black Noir -- tricking him into believing he suffered from blackouts where he committed horrific acts of rape and mass murder and had no memory of it -- that caused him to go full-blown monster. That he thought to himself, in for a penny, in for a pound. After he's descended into what we see in the comics, we learn that the major issue that he's struggled with his whole life is that, as Stillwell points out in their big confrontation, with all his power, he is really nothing special at his core. There is literally not one person chosen at random who couldn't do everything he'd done in his life if they were given his powers. Oh boy, does that eat at him. He's nobody, just a guy who won the superpower lottery and decided to treat it like most people do when they win the actual lottery. Man, that's a lot of meat to chew on right there. Real-life analogue? Ummm...Dance Moms, anyone? Child actors? Child beauty pageant contestants? Kids who are steered into an activity before they have any inkling of whether or not they actually want to do it and pushed on relentlessly by obsessive parents who want their kids to be the best to satisfy their own egos, robbing them of a childhood and making them sincerely believe that they are better than anyone else? You don't have to go too far to imagine all the real-life Homelanders out there. Gaslighting by Black Noir (28:00) Break (34:41) Plugs for BetterHelp, Cheers to Comics, and Erica Schultz Treatment (36:33) In-universe - Make it a talk show, and hope to get him to some level of self-awareness Out of universe - (38:39) Does someone like this get a therapist who looks like them, or one who pushes their boundaries of comfort? Skit (NSFW warning) (46:28) DOC: Hello Homelander, I’m Dr. Issues. HOMELANDER: Good afternoon, Doc. I appreciate all mental health professionals. I may wear a cape, but you’re a true hero. D: Thanks for that. H: So how long you been with the company? D: Company? H: Vought. I figure it has something to do with the casualties from our last appearance. Real shame those people were in the car. Unfortunately, those terrorists were too far away for me to get to in time, and I had to throw SOMEthing at them. D: I don’t work… wait, what? H: You know how it is. Bad guys with guns. So I had to make a choice. There was a car nearby, so I threw it at the terrorists. Wasn’t until I heard the screams that I realized it wasn’t empty. And super though I may be, I’m only so fast. I mean, I’m no A-Train, that’s for sure. D: Oh no...I’ve met many first responders who have had to make snap judgements like that, but not with such...force. H: Yeah, they’re usually crybabies about it. I got over that s**t a long time ago.  D: So you really don’t care that there may have been any other way to handle  life and death situations? H: Do you have any real suggestions? I can see someone like you acting all Monday morning quarterback, but who really gets their hands dirty? D: I’m not disrespecting you by asking to expand your thought process. You said you respect mental health professionals, right? H: Real professionals, yeah. D: What’s that supposed to mean? H: Someone who got where they are through hard work and dedication, not just to fill some quota. You know, like we do with the Deep. D: Glad I have the GPA and scholarships to prove it then. Unless you think the people important enough to run this operation would place any random quack in here to talk to you. H: Anyway, I’m sure the paperwork monkeys have all that taken care of. I’ll do some talk show appearances, a photo op with the family members of the… Johnsons? Johnstons? Johnbergs? Ah, who the f**k cares.  D: Homelander, I’m sorry, I think there’s been a misunderstanding. I don’t work for Vought. H: Oh. Then why the f**k am I talking to you then? D: You are right, it’s because those people died, though.  H: Well like I said, their fault they were nearby.  D: Oh my God, how does anyone believe you’re a hero? H: Because I save poor bastards like you all the time. D: OK, I’m done pretending. Homelander, you are under arrest by the United State military in conjunction with the deaths of four civilians, along with mass property damage. I am here to assess your competence prior to trial. H: What. The. F**k. D: And to ensure your cooperation, you have been placed inside an energy field, which I might as well reveal to you now. *energy hum* H: Are you f**king kidding me? D: So now that we’ve gotten that out of the way H: You listen to me, you pencil pushing c*******er. You have no goddamn right to keep me here, and I assure you as soon as I get out the FIRST f**king thing I’m doing is ramming my fist so far down your throat you’ll be able to chew out your own ass for being so f**king r******d. D: So since you’re being detained, I don’t need to tell you that this is meant as therapy to improve anything. You’ve already given me the information I need to make a decision as to whether or not you’re dangerous. H: You’re goddamn right I’m dangerous. I’m the most powerful f**king thing on the planet. There’s no God, there’s just me. And all you worthless peons can suck my asshole. D: At this point, due to your severe agitation, I’m required to ask if you have any history of medication that has helped you to stay calm and perhaps relax for a while. H: I relax by jerking off. And when I’m done killing you, I’ll jerk off on your f**king corpse.  D: Duly noted. Then it’s my selection with regards to… hmm… how do we deliver medication to an invulnerable being? H: You aren’t going to deliver S**T, do you understand? For someone who’s supposedly smart enough to graduate whatever degree mill you came from, you’re f**king oblivious to how utterly F**KED you are when I break this field. There isn’t a thing that can hold me forever. And the fact that you haven’t run away screaming means you’re even dumber than you look, you stupid ni- D: Alright, that’s enough of that. I was entertaining you up to this point, because your blustering isn’t all that uncommon in my area of practice. But the racism is a special kind of heinous. So with that, we’re done here. H: No, we’re not done. You can walk away, but I promise, I will find you, and I *punch* will *punch* end *punch* you. D: Good luck with that. H: F**K YOU! AHHHHH! *punch* *shatter* D: Oh s*** H: *punch* *gory sound effects* I told you I’d kill you. And now to relax. *zip* *masturbates furiously* What the F**K did I tell you? I do whatever the F**K I want, when I want, because I’m f**king GOD. You little *ungh* s**t.  Ending (51:28) Recommended reading: The Boys: Herogasm Next episodes: Polaris, winter break Plugs for social References: Jim Carrey Madness quote - Anthony (6:52) Gilbert Gottfried Aristocrats (NSFW) - Anthony Apple Podcasts: here Google Play: here Stitcher: here TuneIn: here iHeartRadio: here Spotify: here Twitter Facebook Patreon TeePublic Discord

Intro Thanks to all our Patrons: Humble Citizens Dan & Kate; Local Officials Frank, Rey, Jonathan; Mayors Angela, Chad, Devon, Maggie, Matt, Nyan, Ryan, Tasha; Presidents Ariel, Jeanine, Matt, and Ruby Background (2:00) Donna Troy created by Bob Haney and Bruno Tremiani in The Brave and the Bold #60 (July 1965) Donna Troy was originally introduced as Wonder Girl, Wonder Woman’s younger sister, created in an effort to desexualize Diana and make her (and comics) acceptable to parents Given a name and backstory in 1969 - Donna was an orphan rescued in a fire by Diana, brought to Themyscira, and given Amazonian powers - took the name Donna Troy as a secret identity, and joined the Teen Titans #BecauseComics In 1984, Marv Wolfman & George Perez expanded the backstory in New Teen Titans - her birth mother was an unwed teen who put her up for adoption, and her adoptive mother put her back up for adoption after she couldn’t make enough money to raise Donna - she ends up being sold, but the sellers get caught in a fire, thus resulting in her orphaning #BecauseComics She marries a man named Terry Long After Crisis on Infinite Earths, the DC history is rewritten, so that Wonder Woman is newly introduced to the world - this necessitated retconning Donna’s history as well - now she is one of 12 orphans created by the Titans of Myth as “Titan Seeds”, who were named after ancient Greek cities and destined to become great heroes - the Titans of Myth erased her memory and sent her into the world - while battling her “sister” Sparta, the memories came back - Donna changes her name to Troia #BecauseComics Donna becomes pregnant with a child by Terry - a group of time-traveling Titans from the future reveal that her child is born as a god and destroys the world - to prevent this from happening, she sacrifices her powers and Robert is born normally #BecauseComics She joins the Darkstars and becomes an interstellar protector, but this splits up her marriage to Terry - Terry, Robert, and Terry’s daughter are all killed in a car accident, and the grief ends her brief relationship with Kyle Rayner Origin retconned again where she was created by an Amazonian sorceress as a clone of Diana to be her friend - the clone was kidnapped by Dark Angel, who tortured Donna, forcing her to restart her life repeatedly - later revealed that Dark Angel is in fact a Donna Troy from another reality #BecauseComics THEN it’s revealed that Donna is the only one who somehow retains memories of all the Multiverse pre-Crisis, and that every version of her origin story is simultaneously valid, because they are all alternate-universe versions of Donna #BecauseComics Following Infinite Crisis and One Year Later, Donna takes up the mantle of Wonder Woman while Diana serves in the US government In New 52, Donna is revealed to be created by an Amazonian sorceress to take over Themyscira from Diana, while also somehow having been a Teen Titan - she then joins the Fates after being killed in battle #BecauseComics Rebirth reconciles the discrepancy once again by saying she was created to destroy Diana, but the Amazons gave her false memories of being rescued to help normalize her #BecauseComics Issues (8:07) Identity issues Relationship issues - 2 marriages, plus she loves Roy Harper (16:02) Tragedy of loss of family in one fell swoop (23:22) Break (32:04) Plugs for BetterHelp, Last Sons of Krypton, and Meredith Finch Treatment (34:13) In-universe - Give Donna a bracelet made of threads from the Lasso of Truth Out of universe - Focus on addressing the immediate needs first, and build from there (37:25) Skit (feat. Jeanine) (44:47) DOC: Hello Donna, I’m Dr. Issues. DONNA: Hi Doc, nice to meet you. DOC: So, what’s been going on that you came to see me? DONNA: I’m not exactly thrilled about this, but I’m having trouble turning the page in my life. DOC: Go on… DONNA: This is going to be a bit...complicated so try to keep up. DOC: You don’t have to preface anything. My job is to listen. You’re the one in charge of your life and how it unfolds. DONNA: Am I though? Anyway, I guess you can say it starts with family problems. I always felt like I owed everything to my sister, and I started to resent her for it. It’s not easy living in the shadow of someone like that. DOC: Yes, I could see how that could be painful. You do seem to have a strong presence, so if your sister shares the same trait, I’m sure there were some conflicts. DONNA: Of course. There was the time she saved me, but I can be guilt free about that. I was a kid! Then I tried to take over for her, then I tried to be her...you know how it goes. DOC: Wait...what?  DONNA: Nothing, really. She’s just hard headed and gets emotional when I steal the spotlight.  DOC: I see...I think. While I’m sure you know her well, I’d be careful to project your own interpretation of what someone else is feeling as pure fact. DONNA: Don’t I know it! I think that’s what a lot of people do to me! DOC: For instance… DONNA: I get rumors that people think I’m some sort of...I don’t know...difficult person to get along with. They just can’t handle a woman who’s able to dish it out as well as take it. DOC: Haters always exist. Try to ignore the noise. DONNA: But what if it’s your own husband? Hate’s not the right word there. We were just...different to each other over time. Thank goodness I had the fortitude to learn that there are other fish in the sea. *pause, then gets emotional* Losing them still hurts, though. DOC: Yeah, I get that. Grief is totally natural. The pain fades, but it remains, only altered through time and reflection DONNA: Oh it’s worse than that. I’ve lost so much, doctor. Not just divorce, but death. All of it is unfair. *bitter/angry* ALL OF IT!  DOC: I hear it in your voice! Death is not something that anyone can take lightly. DONNA: And to relive it, only to die again, then try again, and be beaten down over and over...what would you do? Go crazy? No, I fight on. If it weren’t for me, I wouldn’t have survived. DOC: You...uh...showed a lot of resolution...in...um..conquering...your own...self doubt? I’m sorry, is this a metaphor or… DONNA: *still angry* I have to live. I have to be who I am! I’m nobody’s puppet. Doctor, you can think I’m losing my senses all you want, but sometimes, things aren’t going to make sense when I’m talking to you. I may screw up some details. But recognize that everything I’m going through is REAL. Nobody should have to endure what I have, and when I get the chance, I make sure I put a stop to ANYONE that tries to do that to someone else. Do I make myself clear?! DOC: *pause* From an emotional standpoint, yes. I’m not your enemy.  DONNA: But what if I am? What if, based on everything I know about myself, everyone thinks I’m a risk that they don’t want? What does that say about my love life? My career? How do I deal with the fact that the way I torture myself is to make myself fail over and over without mercy? How do I love myself enough to ignore how much I’ve hated myself? DOC: *flustered* You know what? I don’t know. I won’t pretend. I don’t know how to process everything you’ve said so far. I’m still trying to untangle the convoluted way you’ve said things. BUT, I’m willing to do that. I’m not promising that this is going to be easy. I’ll have to remain candid about the times that you lose me. If you’re willing to still talk to me as I improve my grasp of your situation, I can offer some better insight. Until then, I think you need to slow down, just a bit, and let your thoughts catch up with your emotions.  DONNA: I don’t just sit back and let people tell me what to do. DOC: But I usually do sit back and let people tell me what they want. I’m doing that with you and it only leads to more tangents. I’m getting out of my comfort zone and roping it in just a bit DONNA: LIKE HER DOC: ...bad choice of words. I’m allowing you to focus. Back to basics. Who are you? DONNA: You start with the hardest question? DOC: Clarifying...what is your name? DONNA: Donna Troy DOC: And let’s stop there. Thank you. DONNA: What?  DOC: You can be confident in knowing you are Donna Troy. There is so much to unpack beyond that, but for now, let that be your principle. All of the other stuff may wax and wane in your conscience, but you need to keep yourself centered. You are Donna Troy. That is a worthy existence. Each session, I’ll let you spend a bit of time saying what is on your mind, but in the end, we’ll add one clarifying statement to conclude. That way, you’ll be more sure of yourself so that you can trust yourself enough to know that you can handle anyone who gets in your way, even...yourself.  DONNA: You don’t get it...but you GET it. I can work with that. DOC: Wonderful. DONNA: DON’T START. Ending (50:30) Recommended reading: DC Special: The Return of Donna Troy Next episodes: Homelander, Polaris Plugs for social References: Queen “Somebody to Love” - Doc (15:52) Roy Harper episode - Anthony/Doc (16:54) Blink-182 “What’s My Age Again” - Anthony (22:54) Story of the Zen Farmer - Doc (43:35) Face/Off - Doc (52:46) Apple Podcasts: here Google Play: here Stitcher: here TuneIn: here iHeartRadio: here Spotify: here Twitter Facebook Patreon TeePublic Discord

Intro Upcoming holiday hiatus Background (2:38) Dane Whitman created by Roy Thomas and John Buscema in Avengers #47 (Dec. 1967) Dane Whitman is the nephew of Nathan Garrett, a descendant of Sir Percy of Scandia who served in the Court of King Arthur as the Black Knight, and was bestowed with a sword known as the Ebony Blade, carved from a meteorite and only to be wielded by the most honorable of knights The sword then made its way to Nathan Garrett, who called himself the Black Knight and used the Ebony Blade to commit crime - on his deathbed, he renounced his life and told Dane to take up the sword and restore the family legacy After initially being mistaken for his villainous uncle, he later joins the Avengers and the Defenders While serving with the Avengers, he discovers the Ebony Blade is cursed - the more blood is shed with it, the more its wielder becomes insane - after battling Morgan le Fay and Mordred, Sir Percy’s spirit merges with the blade, cancelling the curse He then becomes romantically involved with Crystal and Sersi - He is attracted to both, but in an effort to save Sersi from an intergalactic illness, Dane is unwillingly bonded to Sersi in a merger called the “Gann Josin” - the bond is broken during a battle with alternate dimension versions of the Avengers, led by Proctor, a Dane Whitman from another world who was rejected by his Sersi and now travels the multiverse killing every version of her he can find - a Watcher creates an alternate reality where Sersi can be free of the curse, and Dane goes with her over guilt of his actions #BecauseComics Meanwhile, his squire Sean Dolan gets the Ebony Blade, and becomes the villain known as Bloodwraith Dane & Sersi are sent to the Ultraverse, home of Malibu Comics, where Dane becomes the leader of Ultraforce - attempts to return home, but ends up in the 12th century, where he battles Apocalypse and the mutant who would become Exodus Upon returning to the 616 universe and current time, he joins Heroes for Hire for a period After killing the villain Carnivore with the Ebony Blade, he leaves for Weirdworld, but is followed shortly after by the Avengers, who want to bring him to justice - Steve Rogers takes the Blade from him, but it drives him mad, and only after battling a possessed Steve and regaining control does the team realize Dane has things more under control than believed During King In Black, it’s revealed that the Ebony Blade is actually an evil blade that amplifies the anger and insanity within its wielder - Merlyn lied to Dane, who realized all the times that he lost control were all his fault Recently revealed he had a daughter, Jacks, who now shares the mantle of Black Knight with him, because the two of them can split the burden of the Ebony Blade so that neither handles the madness alone Issues (8:01) Addicted to the Blade Guilt over how much of his actions were his doing vs the blade (19:36) Legacy character - trying to undo the negativity of his uncle, all while “failing” in his own way (27:53) Break (35:16) Plugs for BetterHelp, Bedknobs & Broomflicks, and Philip Kennedy Johnson Treatment (38:57) In-universe - Bring in Kazuma Kuwabara from YuYu Hakusho, who can manifest energy into a sword, and teach him to let go of the Ebony Blade and focus on other things Out of universe - (41:02) Skit (47:27) DOC: Hello Dane, I’m Dr. Issues. DANE WHITMAN: Hi Doc. DOC: So what can I do for you? DW: Well… SIR PERCY: Why do ye waste yer time with this fool? He cannot comprehend the magnitude of yer burden. DOC: Are you alright? You seem a bit… distant. DW: Doc, schizophrenia is when you hear voices in your head, right? DOC: Auditory hallucinations can be a symptom, although they’re not exclusive to schizophrenia nor are they present in every case of schizophrenia. What makes you bring that up? SP: Go on, tell him. Tell him ye hear yer great-great-granda talk to ye. Better yet, tell him ye can SEE me. Aye, that’ll help. DW: *shut up* DOC: I’m sorry, are you- DW: No, not to you. SP: Doin’ great so far. DW: It’s my great-grandfather. Great… I don’t even know how many times over. SP: Greater than ye’ll ever be, at this rate. DOC: OK… DW: Let me start over. I have this sword. SP: Oh sure, blame the sword. Not the sword’s fault yer a foppish twit who’s in over ye head. DW: *Keep it up, old man, and I’ll find a way to bring you back to life just to cut your head off.* DOC: Alright, I’m getting the idea that I’m definitely not the only person you’re talking to here. Are you talking to the sword? DW: No, but the sword is the reason I’m talking to someone else. DOC: Keep going. SP: Aye, I cannae wait to hear how ye explain this. DW: This sword is powerful.  SP: *sarcastic clap* bravo, hero. Are ye gonna tell ‘em it cuts things, too? DOC: For you to put so much stock in it, I’m sure it is. How does that connect to talking to someone else? DW: If it weren’t for my kin, I wouldn’t have it. DOC: Ah, a treasured heirloom...but more to it still, I’m guessing. Any soldier SP AND DW: KNIGHT DOC: Sorry...any knight holds their weapon dear to them. You don’t just keep it close, though. You’re staring at it.  SP: It’s better than lookin’ at his face. Ye know he’d see through ye, right? DW: He’s bonded with the sword...my ancestor...I know this sounds crazy DOC: I’d never say that SP: Cuz he’s blind to ye, lad. DOC: Is there anything that keeps you distracted, so your stress doesn’t overwhelm you? DW: I don’t part with my duties. I have sworn to protect what’s right. SP: Atta’ boy! DOC: Sometimes being away from something you cherish can give a person a fresh perspective. DW: I’m uniquely qualified to handle this weapon. That’s not the problem. It’s what happens when I let others get in my way SP: So ye see now? He doesn’t know how special you are...WE are. This is a gift, lad. DOC: Nobody is put on the Earth to solely be your obstacle. Only circumstances and personal choices ever do that. I actually want to take this psychological journey WITH you, not against you. DW: I’ve fought alongside many. I’m not paranoid. Just stressed. DOC (subdued)  AND SP (emphatic) : I can see that DW: If my mind’s not right, I’ll lose control. Believe me, nobody wants that. SP: So take control DOC: So let go a bit DW: *clearly confused* what? SP: This ward of potions wants to weaken ye, too soft. DOC: You're going to have to...I don’t know...ration out or delegate your responsibilities. That’s a tough thing to do in the short term, but you’ll be able to redouble your efforts if you give yourself time to rest. Plus, the fact that you’re STILL staring at that sword concerns me. DW: (somber) Tell me, doctor...do you think a man can do good things with dark intentions? SP: What are ye on about?  DOC: I don’t pretend to know the answer to hypotheticals DW: It’s NOT hypothetical. *frustrated groan* This sword...feeds off of some things that I’d rather not talk about, not even to a psychiatrist. When it works...oh MAN does it work. I can slay any enemy. I can save people. But when things go bad...like I said, let’s not talk about it. DOC: Well, that’s kind of my thing, sooooo SP: Keep going and someone who would not be considered worthy of the court will know more than some of the sorcerers in my day DW: I...can’t. The point is, I don’t want to go nuts. I don’t need to be labeled insane. I have a lot of wrongs to right. Not just for me...for anybody who ever held this sword.  My family. Does that part make sense? DOC: Definitely. SP: Ye see? You only need yerself, and that sword. I can still guide ye. DOC: From everything you’ve told me, I want to make an alliance. It’s my own oath to help that compels me to make sure you remain fit to wield that thing. A combination of talk therapy along with medication management SP: *interrupting* No apothecaries DW: I...have a bit of trouble with that last part. DOC: You, or someone else? SP: HE CANNAE KNOW THAT! DW: I’d rather not say DOC: I’ll let you in on something...your delays in responses are a giveaway that you have what we call internal stimuli. I’m not trying to judge that. But if you have to hesitate like that when there are life and death decisions to be made, and even if they’re distracting you with positive ideas, you’re going to falter. I see it all the time. And if you don’t take charge of this right now, then one of your fellow heroes or friends or family will try to protect you by whatever means necessary. It doesn’t have to get to that point.  SP: Aye, he means well, but he doesn’t know our kind. DW: *pause* You don’t make this easy DOC: Nothing over a sword ever is, right? Ending (53:45) Recommended reading: 2015 Black Knight solo series Next episodes: Donna Troy, Homelander, Polaris Plugs for social References: Crystal episode - Anthony (4:09) Apple Podcasts: here Google Play: here Stitcher: here TuneIn: here iHeartRadio: here Spotify: here Twitter Facebook Patreon TeePublic Discord

Intro Thanks to all our Patrons: Humble Citizens Dan and Kate; Local Officials Frank, Rey, and Jonathan; Mayors Angela, Chad, Devon, Maggie, Matt, Nyan, Ryan, and Tasha; Presidents Ariel, Jeanine, Matt, and Ruby Thanks to Khelan from Homo Superior - explain the show Background (3:30) Wiccan created by Allen Heinberg and Jim Cheung in Young Avengers #1 (April 2005) Billy Kaplan is a magic user recruited by Iron Lad (a time-traveling variant of Kang the Conqueror) to join a team of heroes to replace the disbanded Avengers Initially calling himself Asgardian, he changes his name to Wiccan Begins dating his teammate Teddy Altman, the shapeshifter called Hulkling Meets Tommy Shepherd, who looks identically to him but has different hair and superspeed powers Billy & the Young Avengers join Captain America’s anti-registration team in Civil War - an attack on Billy is what kicks off a massive fight that leaves several heroes dead or incapacitated Billy & Tommy come to learn of a possible connection to the Scarlet Witch, who previously had twin boys named Billy & Tommy that vanished when it was revealed that she created them out of chaos magic, but they later vanished after Mephisto wiped them from existence - their souls were “repurposed” into Billy Kaplan & Tommy Shepherd #BecauseComics Children’s Crusade: Billy & the Young Avengers seek out Wanda, who had been missing since House of M, to determine parentage - after finding an amnesiac Wanda in Latveria and engaged to Dr. Doom, she has her memory & powers restored, and reveals that she is in fact their mom - a battle with Dr. Doom leaves Cassie dead, but Teddy proposes to Billy Empyre: Thanks to his Skrull-Kree heritage, Teddy becomes Emperor of a new alliance, and they declare war on the Cotati, a plant-like race bent on revenge against former Skrull enslavers - before he leaves, Teddy and Billy get married in Vegas, and then officially once the war is over, combining Skrull, Kree, and Jewish customs Currently serving as prince consort to Teddy Issues (7:32) Uncertainty over parentage causes stress Questions over extent of powers (17:40) Husband's responsibilities pull him off-world (30:14) Not an issue: his family and support system (37:38) Break (47:43) Plugs for BetterHelp, Play Comics, and Al Ewing Treatment (49:23) In-universe - Have Billy say “no more magic” to put aside that aspect of his life for a while Out of universe - Focus on what the patient wants to talk about, and whether they have a good fit with the therapist (51:36) Skit (feat. Khelan) (59:20)   DOC: Hello Billy, I’m Dr. Issues. BILLY: Hey Doc.  D: How are you?  B: I mean, things have been worse. D: That’s not exactly a rousing endorsement. B: Sorry, I just mean there were a lot of questions that were driving me crazy, and I don’t have nearly as many as I did before. That’s a good thing. D: I’m glad to hear that. So what lingers? B: Still a ton of stuff. *pause* This is a bit hard, you know? I get it’s your job, but sometimes I think even professionals will misinterpret what I’m saying, so I’m careful with what I let out. D: Totally understandable. Just remember that this is confidential, so even if things don’t go as expected, they stay between us as long as no one is put in danger. B: Good to know. D: So, name something you want to discuss. B: Iwanttobecalmiwanttobecalmiwanttobecalm… D: Excuse me? B: Sorry, just wanted to be sure I was in the right headspace before I started. Is it wrong to want your husband to be around more? D: That...sounds like a loaded question. I take it you mean “more than he is now” and that there is some sort of barrier to that? B: Exactly. D: Does he disagree with you? B: NOT exactly. It’s more to do with...outside activities. D: Are they activities that you approve of? B: I don’t have a choice. D: There’s always a choice; it’s just a matter of consequences. B: Well, the consequences here involve the wellbeing of a whole empire, so do with that what you will. D: *pause* Heavy stuff. B: And listen, I’m so proud of him taking on this responsibility, and he does it so well and capably. And it doesn’t hurt that he looks AMAZING with a crown on his head. I just… I want some more US time, y’know? D: For once when talking to a superhero, I DO know, quite well. How far would you say the scale has shifted? B: Oh, he hasn’t packed on weight or anything. He still can bench press D: *interrupting* I’m glad that you’re clearly still into him physically...what I meant was, on the work-life balance spectrum of his time with the crown versus his time with you, where is he on that scale? B: Hmmmm...maybe 75-25? No that’s too harsh. How about 60-40. D: Your first answer was your gut, and that’s ok. Intuition that’s unrecognized can lead to dangerous emotional impulse. Your second answer sounds like what you would settle for. But tell me...really. What do you want it to be? B: The selfish side of me would say 5-95, and that’s being generous. I just… we’re newly married, our honeymoon was interrupted by symbiote dragons attacking the resort, and it seems like he can’t make a decision without having to worry about some intergalactic treaty or alliance hanging on his every move. I love him, and I’ll be his ride or die until neither of us draw breath, but I confess I did NOT see this as part of the whole “till death do us part” thing when I fell in love with him. So the simple answer is I don’t honestly know what a good balance would be, but I know this ain’t it. D: That may be one of the most mature answers I’ve heard in a long time. I’m not going to promise that those outside factors are going to change, but I can vow that it is my ethical duty to help your attempts at discovering a better balance each time we discuss it in each session. My only caution to you is to not expect things to just magically change. B: Except you realize who you’re talking to, right? D: Yes, but even still- B: Iwantabetterbalanceiwantabetterbalanceiwantabetterbalance D: As I was saying, I know you want things to get towards total devotion, but the increase in civil unrest may be taking an emotional toll on your partner. Have you talked about that with him? B: Pardon me, but, I don’t think it’s THAT bad. D: Well, 25-75 isn’t your perfect goal, and yet, the attempts on the lives of your fellow heroes must have led to so much anxiety.  B: No, no, that’s not - D: But you did say he was willing to surrender if it came time to save you. I’m glad that he has made it known how much he loves you. B: Iwantabetterkingdomiwantabetterkingdomiwantabetterkingdom D: You’re clearly using your abilities to influence what you can. I’ve been talking a lot here. Rather than creating more stress for yourself, let me know, what’s your take on your husband’s pushback? B: *semi-robotic* I want the kingdom to be better. *normal* I thought I made that clear with the spells and the talking and I really thought you would have picked up on this by now oh my gosh have I completely made things worse oh no oh no oh no not again… D: Well, I usually don’t jump to this in a session, but your anxiety appears to be through the roof! Have you considered other forms of relaxation, or a discussion on possible medication management? B: Sorry, sorry, I just had a bit of a freakout there...we were talking about acceptable balance. I’m willing to work at it the slow...the NON MAGIC way. D: No problem. 76-24 is not the worst I’ve ever heard in terms of a ratio B: WHAT? D: Just a bit of humor on my end. Usually the reality is somewhere between your gut and your partner’s thoughts. I’m in no position right now to tell what the number is. Only you know that. B: Oh, so the things you said before, with what I cast, and the responses after that, it wasn’t so bad I didn’t screw everything up there's still a chance oh my god this is amazing! D: You’re...welcome? I must say, for someone who knows a lot about things I couldn’t begin to understand, you sell yourself short with how much you have in your control. B: Maybe not as much as you think, doctor. D: Ok then, perhaps we’ll discuss how much control you have over the situation in our next session. In the meantime, enjoy that makeup honeymoon that your constituents planned for you out of respect for your personal lives. B: Whoa...whoa...then it really made a difference? I did better? I...nevermind. You’re right. Let’s leave it at that. Iwanttogototeddyiwanttogototeddyiwanttogototeddy... Ending (66:24)  Recommended reading: Young Avengers Vol 1 Review read: Tamir “Mad at myself for sleeping on such a unique and engaging podcast, but after binging and catching up in just under 3 months I have two things to say: 1) This podcast is amazing. Just because the characters are fictional doesn't mean the issues they have are and it always surprises me when I get emotionally invested in an episode and have to remind myself that I'm in public.  2) I'm now sad that I have to wait weekly for new episodes when I was knocking out a couple a day while working. Listener for life.” Next episodes: Donna Troy, Homelander, Polaris Plugs for social References: WandaVision episode - Anthony (3:36) Trevor Project - Khelan (55:55) Apple Podcasts: here Google Play: here Stitcher: here TuneIn: here iHeartRadio: here Spotify: here Twitter Facebook Patreon TeePublic Discord

Intro Thanks to new Mayor level Patron Matt (0:40) Background (2:16) Squirrel Girl created by Will Murray and Steve Ditko in Marvel Super Heroes Vol. 2 #8 (Winter 1991) Doreen Green discovered at 10 years old she could communicate with squirrels, and also grew a prehensile tail At 14, attacks Iron Man in an attempt to impress him, and helps him defeat Doctor Doom (later revealed to be a Doombot, then an imposter, then the real thing #BecauseComics) Later joins the Great Lakes Avengers, where her squirrel sidekick Monkey Joe dies - he is replaced by Tippy-Toe Registers as a hero during Civil War, and it’s revealed she has a crush on Speedball/Penance, but she finds his new dark persona off-putting Serves as nanny to Danielle Cage, daughter of Luke Cage & Jessica Jones Enrolls in Empire State University as a college student majoring in computer science, where she and her roommate Nancy, along with their friends Chipmunk Hunk & Koi Boi work on balancing schoolwork, saving the world, and managing social lives Issues (7:12) Jeanine: She’s incredibly powerful yet no one addresses it Positivity/giving people benefit of the doubt works against her often (18:20) Point of communication with community that’s under represented/doesn’t have a voice (30:46) Break (37:53) Plugs for BetterHelp, Geek Peak Podcast, and Cullen Bunn Treatment (39:35) In-universe - Bring the squirrels into therapy Out of universe - (42:44) Skit (feat. Lisa from Comic Book Couples Counseling as Squirrel Girl) (50:38) DOC: Hello Squirrel Girl, I’m Dr. Issues.  SQUIRREL GIRL: Oh I know who you are. I have your trading card! D: What? SG: Oh, Deadpool came up with trading cards for all kinds of heroes, villains, and other associated characters. D: But I’m not a- SG: Now that I’m seeing you in person, though, I think the artist didn’t capture your features well at all. D: I’m so confused… SG: Sorry, I know I’m throwing a lot at you. Let’s start over. Hi, I’m Doree-uh, Squirrel Girl. D: I know your name, but we can go with Squirrel Girl if you’d like. SG: How’d you discover that? My totally secret identity is totally a secret. Unless… CAN YOU TALK TO SQUIRRELS TOO? D: No, can’t say that I can. (Although I honestly haven’t tried…) Anyway, I’m not supposed to be the focus of an encounter. How can I help you? SG: Can I get an autograph? D: *pause* You are really taking this trading card thing to heart, huh? SG: Is that a yes? D: Short answer, no. Longer answer, only if you actually discuss something that is worth being in a psychiatrist’s office for besides giving off fangirl vibes. SG: Well, aren’t you a party pooper! Ok then, help me deal with squirrels. D: I...uh...well, I would need to know a little about their...personalities? Is there some sort of baseline compatible with humans and the type of sentience I’d be used to? SG: They’re way more capable of bridging the gap between humanity and squirreldom than you think! They can be as moody and petty and impulsive as anyone you’ve ever treated. I’m sure of that.  D: I usually see you pictured with one squirrel, though. Obviously you have favorites. Pets are certainly a part of the family. SG: Do you consider your child to be a pet, then? D: Well...no. I can see how my wording can make things sound awkward. I’m sure to make plenty of mistakes. SG: So that part of the card is true! D: *flustered* Does that card say anything GOOD about me?  SG: I thought you weren’t going to talk about yourself. D: Only because you brought it up again! So...back to it. You’re close to squirrels. How does that compare to humans around you?  SG: Not bad. Actually, I think I can relate to just about anything that wants to talk. D: That’s wonderful! Do you have an example?  SG: I was nice to Galactus so he didn’t eat the Earth. D: You...you saved all of us from something that could eradicate us with hunger, all by being nice to him? You shooed away an omnipotent being? You defeated multiple villains with an army of creatures the average person ignores or actively tries to avoid. Life...doesn’t usually work out that way. SG: It does for me. Are you calling me a liar?  D: No! In fact, you may be the most honest patient I’ve had in a while. But that’s not something I can help you improve. What’s something that you consider to be a weakness? SG: Sometimes, I think I’m too nice. D: I’ve definitely heard that before. You don’t want to give too much of yourself to others, and leave little time for yourself. What would you say is the ideal balance for you?  SG: Maybe stereotypical, but how about 50/50. D: 50/50...of what? There’s more than 2 sides to a person’s life.  SG: Not necessarily. Half for me, half for everyone else. D: *truly stunned* I mean, spiritual, physical, family and friends, vocational...you’re telling me that it all comes down to 50/50? SG: Yup. Works for me. Works for my teammates. It probably doesn’t work for enemies, but that’s why I win! D: I don’t want to lose track of you saying you’re TOO nice. And yet, you’re giving me an amazing, elegant schema for which you view life. What’s off kilter? SG: I babysit too much. D: So...don’t do it as much?  SG: *genuine surprise* Really? That makes so much sense! Then I would have more time to do other things! Wow. I needed to hear that. Thank you so much! D: *clearly thinks this is sarcasm* You don’t have to bait me into thinking- SG: *interrupting* Sometimes it just takes a professional like you to remind a regular old superbeing like me about the little things. That intelligence rating on your card is spot on! D: Wait...what? I’m considered intelligent? At what rank? SG: Ooooh, nice try, but I learned my lesson. You don’t want to talk about yourself or that silly card. D: But I thought you wanted me to sign it. SG: Hmm… I suppose it would add to the value. Although we don’t have any way to verify the signature, and CGC is backed up like CRAZY these days… fine, here you go. D: *signing sound* And now that I have it, lemme take a look… A THREE?!?! THAT’S IT?!?! SG: It’s out of 7, so it’s not as bad as it sounds. D: YOU’RE NOT HELPING. SG:I’m only a three too. So is Captain America.  D: I’m...with...him...but he’s the very essence of what a hero is supposed to be. I gushed to him...oops! SG: I KNEW IT! You’re just like all of us, and yet, you still help everyone you see. We’re not so different. D: Except you have squirrel powers. SG: Are you going to keep saying that? D: As long as you keep saying I’m just like you. SG: Then how can you bridge the gap between people who can’t see the common stuff? D: *pause* You just summarized my whole life’s goal to make sure I stayed on track. I’m dumbfounded. How about this: I try to understand more about critter characterization, and you...just keep being you, except stick to a basic question I can answer like before. SG: It’s a deal! I’ll bring Tippy-Toe along next time, and I’ll translate for you. D: OK. So should I bring nuts for him- SG: Her. And we’ll bring our own. She’s very particular. No offense. D: Understood. Ending (57:33) Thanks to Lisa - check out Comic Book Couples Counseling podcast Recommended reading: Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Next episodes: Wiccan, Donna Troy, Homelander Plugs for social References: Batman “You wanna get nuts?” - Anthony (0:35) Luke Cage/Jessica Jones episodes - Anthony (4:51) Chris Jericho/Rock promo - Doc/Anthony (11:30) Apple Podcasts: here Google Play: here Stitcher: here TuneIn: here iHeartRadio: here Spotify: here Twitter Facebook Patreon TeePublic Discord

Intro Background (2:22) Let's talk supervillain parents. How do you go about modelling good behavior for your kids when your own behavior tends to lean towards world domination? Do you try and create a Little Lord of Destruction to follow in your footsteps and eventually take your place? Or did the parenthood switch actually flip and you're horrified at the thought of your kids taking after you, leading to you doing everything possible to try and break the cycle? And if it's the latter, how do you do it? Do you go the Tony Soprano route and just keep them far away from your activities and just give them the best life possible so that they'll never want for anything and never have to turn to crime? Oops, now they're spoiled brats who lack empathy and act hurtfully towards others without a second thought. Do you abandon the kid and stay far, far away from them so your corruptive influence will never touch them? Oops, growing up with an absent parent is actually a major contributor to a lot of social problems. Do you shield them and try to live a double life as a mundane workaday respectable person? OK...that's a major time bomb waiting to go off when they discover the truth. Or do you decide the kid's worth going straight for? Ahh...there's the rub. 1. The ones who want their kids to follow in their footsteps, actively groom them to do so, succeed at it, and feel no remorse about it. The one that springs to mind immediately is Senator Roark from Sin City. Evil, ruthless, cunning, and sadistic to the core, his boy Junior (That Yellow Bastard) is every bit of his father and then some. I'm sure there are others, but he's at the top of my list. (4:16) 2. The ones who want their kids to follow in their footsteps, but fail at it miserably for one reason or another, and the kids become heroes. How the parents feel about it varies; there are lots of examples, but my favorite is definitely Darkseid with Orion. Mortal enemies, destined to fight to the death and both very willing to do so, but buried in the subtext all those decades (and finally stated in Countdown to Final Crisis when Orion "kills" him) is that Darkseid is secretly very proud of what a fierce, bold, renowned warrior Orion has become, even if it's all being pitted against him. (8:30) 3. The "do as I say, not as I do" parents. These are ones who desperately want their kids to be good, but they're not willing to model good behavior themselves and give up their lives of crime. Most of the members of The Pride qualify -- I think Xavin's wanted him/her to eventually grow up and be a Skrull overlord, but for the most part, they just want their kids to have normal happy lives and go to great lengths to keep their supervillainy from them. (15:06) 4. The "give my kids everything they could want so that they won't need to be criminals" parents. Best example I can think of is definitely Tombstone. When he's not away in prison, he gives his daughter Janice everything. Spoils her rotten. Eventually gives her a first-class education at Columbia Law. She worships him and wants to be like him, but he's horrified that she would stoop to follow in his footsteps; he got her that law degree so she'd never have to. And besides, as he says, a lawyer's work is basically crime that you can't get arrested for. (And really, he's not wrong.) Of course, she becomes The Beetle. (22:26) 5. The ones that are horrified at the effects their villainy has on their kids, and desperately want to change and go straight. Easy example is The Lizard. Curt Connors became The Lizard almost entirely by accident, and devotes nearly every lucid moment alternating between trying to cure himself and mitigating the damage to his family that his episodes cause. And he either must be really really good at it or Martha and Billy Connors are saints for how much they put up with from him. Until Martha dies and Curt has to change Billy into a Lizard to cure him of the Carrion virus. #BecauseComics. (30:20) 6. The ones that unconditionally love their children whether they're allied with them, fighting against them, or don't want to have anything to do with them one way or the other. They'd do anything for them and fly to their side in their times of need no matter what. Hello, Magneto. That one's obvious. A slightly different dynamic would be Galactus with Silver Surfer. The arcs written in the last 20 years by JMS and Greg Pak have really showcased an entirely different dynamic between the two. Surfer will always be Galactus' creation and still finds himself at odds with him from time to time, but the two will help each other out if the other needs it at the drop of a hat. Surfer understands Galactus a lot better, and to the extent that Galactus as a cosmic entity is capable of such things, I think Surfer is clearly his favorite herald, and he has an infinite capacity for forgiveness no matter how many times he rebels. I liken them to a father and son where the son has grown into a mature adult himself. Even if they don't have a lot in common, they're always family, and they'll always have an unspoken bond. (38:48) Break (46:18) Plugs for BetterHelp, Ignorance Was Bliss, and Gail Simone Treatment (47:54) This isn't even one of those themes where I have to stretch it to find a real-world analogue. Lots of us were raised by parents who didn't model great behavior for us. Heck, in our generation, half of us grew up with broken homes, and a lot of those situations led to one parent being absent and barely raising us if at all. There have been libraries worth of sociological and macroeconomic studies that have detailed the effects. If you're a prospective new parent who's fortunate enough to be aware that you're a very flawed person who needs to avoid passing on your negative tendencies to your kids, how do you go about doing it? Ending Recommended reading: Comics. Just read comics. Next episodes: Squirrel Girl, Wiccan, Donna Troy Plugs for social References: Shang-Chi episode - Anthony (1:22) Damian Wayne episode - Anthony (12:53) Ant-Man “Be the hero she already thinks you are” - Anthony (28:24) Apple Podcasts: here Google Play: here Stitcher: here TuneIn: here iHeartRadio: here Spotify: here Twitter Facebook Patreon TeePublic Discord

Creator Interview - Pocus Hocus Intro - Allen Dunford & Will Radford Questions Your backgrounds (2:41) First story (5:34) Where did the story come from (6:51) What drove Pocus to sell his soul? (13:52) How much did you “write what you know” (18:18) Demon’s backstory & motivation (22:30) How did you find the artists (26:15) How far in advance do you have the story mapped out (31:24) Will each future issue be its own, or will there be bundles? (37:40) Timeframe for issue 3 (39:10) Where can people find you on social media (40:55) Pocus Hocus Kickstarter Apple Podcasts: here Google Play: here Stitcher: here TuneIn: here iHeartRadio: here Spotify: here Twitter Facebook Patreon TeePublic Discord

Intro Ask for reviews Background (1:52) Starfire (Princess Koriand'r) created by Marv Wolfman and George Perez in DC Comics Presents #26 (Oct 1980) Second in succession to the throne of Tamaran, she and her sister were kidnapped, and her father sold her off to ensure peace After enduring several years of slavery and sexual torture, she was experimented on by being subjected to ever-increasing energy levels, which gave her the ability to release energy blasts from her hands, as well as fly - her sister (who had also undergone the experimentation, and was more powerful) attacked her, however, and had her sentenced to execution She escaped and made her way to Earth, where she took the name Starfire (the Earth translation of Koriand’r) and joined the Teen Titans Twice married to Tamaranian men, once for politics and once for love - both died Almost married Dick, until a possessed Raven interrupted the ceremony #BecauseComics Went missing after Infinite Crisis, although she was one of the heroes who helped defeat Alexander Luthor Alongside Adam Strange & Animal Man, gets stranded on an unknown planet - the three of them fight alongside each other several times During Blackest Night, a psychic attack reveals her greatest desire is to marry Dick Grayson New 52 - Backstory is essentially the same, but now she’s one of the Outlaws alongside Jason Todd & Roy Harper - close friends with Dick Grayson, who avoids romantic feelings for her Rebirth - Rejoins the Titans, and becomes leader after Damian Wayne is removed from the role Killed by her sister Komand’r (Blackfire), who believes she will eventually come back to life Issues (4:41) Tortured and enslaved in her childhood Horrible relationship with her sister (13:09) On/off relationship with Dick (21:40) Break (27:48) Plugs for BetterHelp, Talk Me Into, and Jeremy Whitley Treatment (29:32) In-universe - Use her energy projection powers to help show her emotional state at any given time Out of universe - (32:33) Skit  Hello Starfire, I’m Dr. Issues. -Greetings, doctor. Just to be clear, “Starfire” is a media creation. Please, call me Koriand’r. My apologies, Koriand’r. So, what can I do for you? -Others have told me that I am a bit of an...energetic spirit. I get too rough. I would disagree, but it has been said so many times that I wonder if there is some truth to it. In what context? -All of them. *sigh* Um, can you give an example? -Suppose there is a powerful enemy at your door right now, and I am with a team. At least one of them stands slack-jawed, another one tries to start a conversation or say something to defuse the situation. By the time they realized what has happened, I have already thrown the first punch. It is a bit of a blur after that, and we have won, but at least one other person is yelling at me for being too hasty. I’ve heard that so many times. “Ready, Fire, Aim.” -More like “Aim and Fire before they are ready.” I am not careless, just efficient. And you want the others to match your efficiency? -I know they cannot. I do not want them to resent me for doing what works. This may sound perverse, but it is actually fun to fight and win! I do my homework, Koriand’r. I don’t think it’s your fighting that really upsets anyone, at least not as much as you think. -Then what is it?  I’m not certain, but maybe your...uh...style? -*sound effect, charging up?* I LOVE MY STYLE! *clearly shaken* And you SHOULD! I’m not criticizing it! I’m saying...on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the most flamboyant, you’re an 11. -Thank you so much! It is a compliment to be seen as a bright shining beacon on Tamaran. *ahem* You’re...welcome? Hoo boy...look, you do you, alright? I’m trying to tow the line between discretion and blatancy. -I am not some… what is the word, a head of air! Just because I only know what one of those words meant does not mean you can try and make me feel stupid. *deep breath* Let’s try again. I want to be kind, but I also want to be honest. I’m thankful that you are proud of who you are. Nobody can take that from you. But understand that being so intense in every sphere of your life is going to burn others out if you’re not careful once in a while. However, I may be wrong if you’ve cultivated the best circle of friends and family already. That would make my point moot. -*pause, less intense than before* It is partly correct. Which part? -Definitely family. My sister. I love her. That’s a good thing. -No...I should not. Not after what she did to me. Several times. But I have forgiven her. Too many people have told me that was a dumb thing to do...that she will betray me again.  There’s no point in regaining pain. There are enough burdens in our lives that we shouldn’t add extra. Love is an amazing thing. -But at what cost? I have traded many different types of love...some not truly of my choice. Raven says I should be bitter after what I have endured...but I am not. Sometimes I do not understand why I feel this way, but, what it is it is. I think that is the Earthen expression. You are clear with that. Your smile literally lights up a room! I’m glad that you have someone like that to confide in -She was one of the “traded loves” I talked about. At first I would consider her an enemy. But I do not have the type of bond that I truly long for. That would be… - *awestruck* Dick. *flustered* erm...I’m not that kind of therap - *oblivious, still awestruck* Grayson. OH THANK GOD. I mean, thank goodness we can talk about someone so important to you. -He is better than before, you know. He has said some things about you. That is why I came here. Can you find a way for us to be together? It is so very complicated! Some of the times, I wish to have better understanding of Earthen relationships. Other times, I feel it is better to be in the darkness. Sorry, my role is not to be a matchmaker, or directly “fix” relationships. Only you two can do that. What I CAN do, is work with you to process your emotions and behaviors so that whatever happens, your experiences get better over time. -Wonderful! This calls for a Tamaranian hug! *panic* NO! *calms down* No, I’m not a hugger as a professional. -But that is the best way to share joy with everyone! See, that’s what I’m talking about. It’s best for YOU...not everyone. Sure, there are plenty of people who agree with you, but I’ll admit, I’m a bit weird. Respecting my wishes would bring me joy. Save that joy for Raven...or Dick...or whomever is used to it. -Raven has said the same thing. But in the end, hugs will win the day! Come on, Doctor of the Issues, you will see for yourself. *sound of bones crunching* Ugh…*whispering agony* my spine…I see what you mean by “too rough” -Oops. Your training seems to be weak. I will be more careful next time. Oof...next time? Ending (43:47) Recommended reading: OG Teen Titans by Wolfman & Perez Next episodes: Children of super villains, Squirrel Girl, Wiccan Plugs for social Apple Podcasts: here Google Play: here Stitcher: here TuneIn: here iHeartRadio: here Spotify: here Twitter Facebook Patreon TeePublic Discord

Intro Background (1:25) Emma Frost created by Chris Claremont and John Byrne in X-Men #129 (Jan. 1980) Emma Frost born to a wealthy family in Boston, who had lived in the area since the 1600s Discovered she had telepathic abilities while in high school, but refused to join the Xavier Institute, and when her manipulative father chose her as his heir, she opted to leave and make her own way After attempting to seduce her professor, her family had her sent to the Essex Clinic, where she was drugged and manipulated into attacking the X-Men by Magneto Became a stripper for the Hellfire Club, where she made Sebastian Shaw infatuated with her, ending up becoming the White Queen Also started a multinational business, Frost International, and started her own school, the Massachusetts Academy, where she recruited young mutants for her own cause Was attacked by a time traveler and was in a coma for a year - during that time, most of her students were killed - she was brought out of the coma by an energy surge that caused her consciousness to take over the body of Bobby Drake, aka Iceman #BecauseComics - when she learned what happened to her students, she had a breakdown and realized they were better off with Xavier, who was able to reestablish the connection between her body and mind Wracked with guilt, she established her school as Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, and she & Banshee started a new team, Generation X After surviving an attack on Genosha, she discovered she had a secondary mutation: the ability to turn her skin to unbreakable diamond - she joins the Xavier Institute, and takes the Stepford Cuckoos under her wing Began a “psychic affair” with Scott Summers, who was growing apart from Jean - although Jean tore through her mind and forced her to relive all her guilty episodes from the past, she revealed to Wolverine that she truly loved Scott Beast discovered her shattered body, and the investigation revealed that Esme of the Cuckoos convinced another student to shoot her with a diamond bullet - meanwhile, Phoenix-powered Jean reassembled Emma After Jean’s death, Emma & Scott begin a real relationship, and are co-headmasters of the Xavier Institute Discovered that the Stepford Cuckoos were actually her children, bred from eggs harvested by a doctor years before while she was under the control of the Essex Clinic Served as a member of the Cabal alongside Norman Osborn, Loki, Dr. Doom, Namor, and the Hood, only to betray Shaw In Avengers vs. X-Men, Emma is one of the Phoenix Five - was one of the last two, with Scott, before he was able to wrest her portion away from her, only to be killed by Xavier Inhumans vs. X-Men - after a Terrigen cloud killed Scott, Emma created a psychic projection of him destroying the cloud, after which Black Bolt “killed” the projection - a negotiated peace between the parties ended after Emma incited the X-Men to take action to save their species - Medusa destroyed the cloud, but Emma sent programmed Sentinels after the rest of the Inhumans to seek revenge for Scott’s death Currently one of the leaders of Krakoa - named by Xavier & Magneto as the head of trade relations Issues (7:20) Ruby - Relationship with Scott Love for mutants, willing to sacrifice all for them regardless of personal impact (19:23) Role in Inhumans vs. X-Men, where she ultimately is revealed as the villain (27:17) Break (44:10) Plugs for BetterHelp, Popcorn Psychology, and Chris Claremont Treatment (45:26) In-universe - Focus on putting Emma in diamond form and having her work through things without her psychic abilities Out of universe - Work on establishing a rapport with her and determining how to address the various issues and trauma she’s dealt with (47:46) Skit (feat. Kris of Marvelous Madames) (57:08) DOC: Hello Emma, I’m Dr. Issues. EMMA: *mentally* And we’re starting off with lies. D: *mentally* Excuse me? E: That’s not your name and we both know it.  D: Surely, if you’ve read my mind, you’re also aware of the multiple attempts on my life. Not to mention as a mutant you can appreciate the need for a pseudonym to maintain some level of privacy to protect loved ones. Ms. White Queen. Or is it Black Queen? Or Black King? Or Ice Princess? E: Your point is taken. Still, just know that any effort to mislead or lie to me will be swiftly shut down. I do not suffer fools. D: Nor would I expect you to. So, what did you change? E: Come again? D: I’m not gullible. Telepath or not, delving into someone’s mind changes the person in some fundamental way. That’s the point of therapy. You did that to me without regard for my thoughts on the matter...literally. So, I’m asking you, with all candor...what did you change? E: I’m not an amateur at this, you know. What I told you is what I sought. *pause* Judging by your facial expression, you don’t believe me. D: It’s fascinating. Sometimes, I mirror expressions, mime voices of those who are talking to me...it’s not intentional. I’ve been in some awkward situations because the person thought I was mocking them. Not this time, though. And you know I’m right. Why are you so skeptical of sessions like this? E: Because those with my abilities already accomplish what you do hundred-fold, without the baggage of “small talk” getting in the way. D: Like a sentience surgeon. I’m glad you’re on that path of logic, because society has determined consent to be a MAJOR hallmark of ethics in every interpersonal undertaking. E: Is that what you think I do? Mental assault? D: I’m trying to understand. No offense, but, it’s clear that you know how to work a room, regardless of mutant abilities. I’m trying to figure out if it’s your main coping strategy, or a backup plan. E: It’s been both. D: Can you give an example of each? E: Sure. *mentally* I’ll give you a glimpse of one of my best days…*unintelligble speech/sounds* and one of my worst *more unintelligible speech/sounds* So you tell me, doctor. Would you have done anything differently? D: *overwhelmed* WHOA. To be honest, I have no idea. I’ve been empathetic before, but that was...truly mimetic….no telemimetic...it’s like you downloaded parts of your memory into my brain and I choose how to live it...this is so bizarre. *clearly in some sort of discomfort* ugh...they both involve Scott. I shouldn’t be surprised. E: Is there a problem, doctor? I can assure you, I did nothing to injure your brain. D: No, not like that…*snaps fingers* THAT’S WHAT YOU CHANGED! E: Oh dear. That was too quick. I expected some sort of opportunity to talk about him at length, without all of the pretense. D: That’s my CO-HOST’s view, not mine. I’ll gladly discuss your feelings about him without referencing *clear pain* AAAAGH!  E: He’s not a dick, got it?! D: Got it. The point is, he impacts every aspect of your life, and your love for him affected some...questionable choices. What can I do to help you get to the next stage of your relationship as adults? E: Why would there be a next stage? I know he’s loved me. That’s all I need. D: And he’s loved another. And you turned his ideals into the grandest effigy I could imagine...all out of spite. E: SPITE?! No, having some mental foreplay when you least expect it may have some spite, but not when all of mutant-kind is at stake. It was us or them...and it surely wasn’t going to be us. Not when we’re the next evolution of the species. I’m not the damsel in distress. I’m the diamond in the rough! I can show you, too. *special effect to change form* D: Fascinating...and now, the therapy can begin. E: What does that mean? D: Before now, you had the ultimate “wisdom of the crowds” through your abilities, just picking things up about each person on a whim. Now, when you’re like this, you’re shut off. I don’t think that’s a mistake. Maybe it’s a defense mechanism for you, but I see it as a chance for growth. Tell me, what do you feel right now? E: Nothing. D: Can you tell by my face what I think? E: *pause* You have the same face as when I told you I only looked at one thought in your mind...I should register that as the same, but...it’s so difficult this way. D: EXACTLY. Welcome to a new way to build your schema of the world. No mind games...just good old fashioned observation, trial and error. No judgement, no scorecard, just me and you, trying to figure out human interaction. I don’t expect you to stay this way, but do you realize just how magnificent your personal experiences can be if you learn how to warm up your cold side? E: There is a rationale to your style. I *pause* think...I like it? *transforms again* That is quite the challenge...definitely worthy of pursuit. Fine, your point stands. D: Wait, now I do think Scott is- E: Say it and lose yours.  D: Understood. E: Thank you, my dear. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must return to Krakoa. Heaven knows what Logan’s gotten himself up to in the past hour. I shall return. D: When shall I - E: *mentally* Oh I’ll make it clear. Good day, Doctor. Ending Recommended reading: Generation X (so 90s), Death of X Next episodes: Starfire, Children of super villains, Squirrel Girl Plugs for social References: Cyclops episode - Anthony (4:04) Stepford Cuckoos episode - Anthony (4:30) Mark Manson - Doc (29:30) Mr. Freeze episode - Doc (46:20) Apple Podcasts: here Google Play: here Stitcher: here TuneIn: here iHeartRadio: here Spotify: here Twitter Facebook Patreon TeePublic Discord

Intro New #BecauseComics moment per episode Background (2:58) Crystalia Amaquelin created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby in Fantastic Four #45 (Dec. 1965) She is unique among Marvel characters in that she has been a member of the Fantastic Four, Avengers, and Inhumans, as well as tangentially related to the X-Men Crystal is a member of the Inhuman Royal Family, sister to Queen Medusa, with the ability to control the elements She first encountered the Fantastic Four on the run from the Seeker, who wanted to destroy the Royal Family - saved by Johnny Storm, the two quickly fell in love When Sue Storm Richards was pregnant with Franklin and left the team, Crystal served as her replacement Left the team after discovering that her stay on Earth was poisoning her, as her Inhuman body could not handle the Earth’s atmosphere, and she returned to Attilan, breaking up with Johnny In the process of Lockjaw teleporting her home, she encountered Quicksilver, who was injured battling Sentinels - she brought him home to the Great Refuge to help him recover, and over time they fell in love and announced their marriage They had a baby girl, Luna, who exhibited no powers - Crystal forced Pietro to agree that Luna would grow up normally Pietro’s temper grates on Crystal, and she has an affair with Wanda & Vision’s realtor, a human named Norman Webster - Norman ends the affair when he realizes Crystal is married, and Pietro initially refuses to attempt reconciliation She attempted to renew her relationship with Johnny, but she found he was married to Alicia Masters (actually a Skrull in disguise #BecauseComics), and when an Inhuman crisis endangered the entire family, she and Pietro eventually reconciled Joined the Avengers, and moved into the mansion with Luna and her nanny, Marilla During her tenure, she became close with Dane Whitman, the Black Knight, who was himself the target of Sersi’s affections, all while Crystal and Pietro were working on reestablishing their relationship - this love quadrangle created many difficult situations, until Dane & Sersi were sent to another dimension After Heroes Reborn, Crystal and Pietro were reunited, but Dane also returned to the universe, and when Dane and Pietro later fought over Crystal, she left them both to return to Attilan to think After House of M, Pietro stole Terrigen Mists and exposed Luna, granting her powers - this act led to Black Bolt annulling the marriage She was then betrothed to Ronan (by Medusa) as part of an alliance between the Inhumans and the Kree - the marriage was quickly ended, however, as a deal was struck with Black Bolt and the Supreme Intelligence Made an Inhuman ambassador by Queen Medusa, leads the Royal Inhuman Diplomatic Mission Issues (9:10) Jeanine: Stepping away from royal family In the shadow of her older sister (19:17) Difficulty of being a super parent (25:12) Break (30:44) Plugs for BetterHelp, Scotch N Sports, and Al Ewing Treatment (32:42) In-universe - Bring in Captain Planet as a mentor Out of universe - Focus on emotional impact of making those important decisions (35:14) Skit (41:52)  Doc: Hello Crystal, I’m Dr. Issues.  Crystal: Hi Doctor. D: Thank you for meeting with me. I’m a little sad to see Luna’s not here, though. C: She’s with my family. For better or worse I have no shortage of babysitters. It helps to know so many folks with superpowers. D: Yes, you do have quite the list of friends and colleagues.  C: Which is one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. D: OK, shoot.  C: I’ve been an Avenger, a member of the Fantastic Four, one of the Inhuman Royal Family, and affiliated with the X-Men. I hardly have any peers who have those kinds of connections. And my powerset means I can control all of the elements. Yet I always feel like I’m not taken seriously enough. I’m either Medusa’s kid sister, or worse yet Pietro’s ex. D: So your primary issue is that of establishing an identity separate from those around you? C: Yes, exactly! D: I see. Well, my first thing I want to make clear is that being part of these groups isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and- C: Oh I’m well aware, and I apologize if it came across as such. I’m proud to be included in these rosters. The relationships I’ve built over the years mean the world to me, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. It’s just… that’s not *all* of who I am. D: That’s certainly frustrating, and I see why- C: And that’s what few people understand. Pietro understood that...understands that? I don’t know...we’ve gone back and forth so many times. He’s so impulsive. I want him to slow down sometimes, but that’s not who he is, and then that makes me realize that I wasn’t understanding him...oh, it burns me up inside! *flame sound effect* D: Relationships that are frayed don’t have to be completely incinerated...like you just did to that insurance form. Can we -  C: Oh no! I didn’t mean to take it out on your possessions! That reminds me of when I talk to Johnny. It’s weird. We work as great friends, but I sometimes go down a ‘what-if’ rabbit hole if I had built something special with him. But that’s not fair to him either. My mind is a tornado right now *wind noises* D: I see...how demonstrative. *clearly frustrated* I’ll just restack those files a bit later. It sounds like you have tied so many parts of who you are to other people, that it even becomes tiresome for you to differentiate your motivations from those around you. How do you cope with that? C: I make time for myself. At least, I used to. I’m not an absentee parent. Luna comes first. When I get a chance like this, I seem to be out of sorts. *water effects gently throughout her speech* I get flooded with thoughts of how she’s doing, if I’m missing something, if I should have pushed for more co-parenting, If I’m pawning her off too much. Am I making any sense? D: *barely hiding his frustration* I am awash with inspiration on how to help you...and so are my shoes. The anxiety of parenting never goes away, but rest assured that one of the best things you can show your child is letting them face some of their own challenges. C: *angry* Challenges?! She was kidnapped before! Caring for Lockjaw is a challenge! No, I won’t be a helicopter parent, but do you know what it’s like to lose the most important thing to your soul? You question reality. *earthquake effects* The ground you walk on might as well swallow you whole. Everyone judges you left and right. You judge yourself...harshly. It’s not fair. It’s not fair to her, or to me. I can stand on my own without a royal say-so- D: CRYSTAL! STOP!  C: Huh? D: *Exhausted, but calm* Please...stop. I got the message. I’ve never had a patient connect so viscerally to everything that’s going on in their psyche. This is a private session, but it may be the greatest public example of what makes you...you! C: So it’s just my powers? D: NO! No. It’s the emotional intelligence fluidity. You are able to adapt to those around you and feel just as comfortable on a new team as well as with old friends. New bonds are capable of being as strong, or stronger, than prior relationships. That’s a trait that not everyone comes by easily. But there's an obvious peril with that. You’re always navigating a shifting hierarchy of personal priorities. That can be exhausting. C: *sarcastic* You don’t say? I just… I don’t want to BE my sister, but sometimes I envy the straightforward manner with which she deals with situations. She’s the queen. Everyone knows that, so there’s no wishy-washiness. With me, it all depends on who it is and what they need. I know you’re saying that’s a good thing, but uggghhhh is it draining. D: I get that. And I’m grateful that wasn’t accompanied by another power flux. What I would encourage you to do is to take a look at each relationship in your life, and determine how important it is to you. You don’t have to rank each one individually, maybe just use a few tiers. Then, if you’re in a situation where you have a choice to make, utilize the tiers to determine which one takes precedence. And let’s not forget about your own needs as well. C: Hmm. Interesting idea. Well, it can’t be any worse than what I’ve been doing so far. Which is winging it. D: Much of life is winging it, but with a bit more wisdom each time. The course corrections are less tricky with every turn. C: I understand. Thanks for the advice, and sorry for the damage to the office. You can send the bill to Black Bolt. At least we know he won’t yell about it *heehee* Ending (47:32) Recommended reading: Avengers: Bloodties, War of Kings Next episodes: Emma Frost, Starfire, Children of super villains Plugs for social References: Medusa episode - Anthony (4:02) South Park “Feelin’ good on a Wednesday” - Anthony (9:06) Don Cheadle is Captain Planet - Anthony (34:04) Apple Podcasts: here Google Play: here Stitcher: here TuneIn: here iHeartRadio: here Spotify: here Twitter Facebook Patreon TeePublic Discord

Intro Thanks to new Mayor patron Blaize Background (2:42) Shang-Chi created by Steve Engleheart & Jim Starlin in Special Marvel Edition #15 (Dec. 1973) Shang-Chi introduced as the son of Fu Manchu, an evil sorcerer bent on world domination - his white mother was chosen based on her genetics - Shang was raised to be an assassin and serve his father, but on his first mission to kill one of his father’s rivals, he has a change of conscience, and discovers his father is the true evil Early stories largely based around defeating his father’s henchmen and doing everything he can to stop him - also based heavily in racist Yellow Peril tropes Often teamed up with other martial artists, like White Tiger, Iron Fist, and Daughters of the Dragon After finally destroying his father’s organization, he retired to become a fisherman, but was drawn out to assist former colleagues at MI-6 Joined the Marvel Knights, run by Daredevil, to take down the Punisher and his extrajudicial killings Joined the second iteration of Heroes for Hire during Civil War, and began a relationship with Tarantula, although it was over quickly due to her violent tendencies Joined the Secret Avengers to help track down his father, who had been resurrected again Gained spider powers during the Spider-Island event, but when he mutated into a spider, Iron Fist used his chi powers to cure him Joined other Asian heroes in the Protectors and the Agents of Atlas - together they fought Sindr, Ismenios, and other villains Later became the Supreme Commander of the Five Weapons Society, his father’s old organization, but vowed to use it for good - this put him in conflict with other members of the group, but several of them allied to his cause Was temporarily the host of the Phoenix Force when it was seeking someone new, but when he refused to kill Captain America in battle, the Phoenix rejected him and left his body Tracked down his half-sister, who had left the society, and convinced her to return Issues (9:41) Dealing with having a mass murdering villain for a father No childhood outside of training (15:45) Raised thinking the Western world was horrible & out to get him (23:24) Break (33:18) Plugs for BetterHelp, Freudian Sips, and Saladin Ahmed Treatment (35:12) In-universe - Help him hone energy sensing abilities Out of universe - Address cultural differences, and meet the patient where they are without being condescending (38:16) Skit (49:14) DOC: Hello Shang-Chi, I’m Dr. Issues. SHANG-CHI: Greetings, doctor. D: I’d tell you to make yourself comfortable, but it seems you’ve already done that.  SC: Comfort is a luxury seldom offered, and even more rarely accepted. Forgive me if this ironically makes you uncomfortable. D: No, it’s fine. We don’t have a “no shirt, no shoes, no service” sign out front for a reason. This is a place for calm and peace.  SC: I am sure you mean well, and truly believe that. But sadly, Doctor, wherever I go, chaos follows me like a tail attached to a cat, and I am certain this office will be no different. D: That must be difficult to deal with.  SC: I long ago accepted my fate. My father’s influence is far-reaching, and even without him, there are many who would seek to usurp the title of Master of Kung-Fu. Even as I agreed to meet with you, I pondered whether there was a chance this was a trap for a sneak attack. D: I’m certainly glad you trusted me enough to come here, for what it’s worth. What made you finally agree?  SC: I spoke to some trusted associates who have been clients of yours. Their experience and faith in you was enough to convince me.  D: So now that you’re here, what do you want to discuss? SC: At this point in my life, I am trying to transition my path to one of less fighting. However, as I said, so much of what I do involves martial arts that this seems impossible.  D: No forks in the road. That’s one way to look at it. I’ll pause on that because I see on your face that there is more to it. SC: I know that you think I am being blind to other options, but it is not as you say. I have taken service jobs. I have been a teacher of the craft. I do not wish to abandon all that I know for the sake of comfort. And still...something haunts me. Other noble heroes invite me. If I am not asked first, then I am chosen as a consequence. I am thankful that I have survived so far, and I do not fear death. But there is this pestering essence that the world does not accept me as I am. D: That’s...heavy. It’s rare that I’m taken aback by someone due to their eloquence. I have to admit, I got lost in it! SC: Forgive me if I am rude, but your statement itself is an example of it. D: I’m still lost. SC: You said I speak well. D: *pause* OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY I DID THAT I’VE HAD IT DONE TO ME I AM AN IDIOT I WOULD NEVER MEAN TO DO THAT ON PURPOSE I  SC: *laughs* Your chi is genuine. But do you realize how common that is, how through no forethought, we are verbally sparring? I know that is how it will be for the rest of my life. At least, that’s how I perceive it. D: Perception is reality. I won’t hide my mistakes, and I’m thankful for your latitude. But that tells me your experiences have been way more hostile than a random faux pas. SC: You have quickly redeemed yourself. Yes, there are blatant examples that happen. How am I supposed to grant grace to those who don’t do the same? Unfortunately, my father did me no favors. I carried a similar yoke of disdain across my shoulders for those I only knew through his eyes. I am grateful for my enlightenment so many years ago as a young man. But I feel those same shackles weighing down those around me when they see me, not knowing what to make of me, what to say, fearful or angry and not even understanding why. D: It’s not your - or anyone’s - singular purpose to enlighten every individual. You’ll make yourself feel worse that way. Focus on the successes, be they one or one million. SC: You know, it’s not just the common man. I was chosen by the Phoenix Force once. I fought Captain America. I had proven myself ...but because I showed grace, I was eliminated by Phoenix itself. Still...I would make that decision again. D: A worthwhile and rigorous process is the true path, regardless of the outcome. Thank you for reminding me of what my own Attendings taught me. But using a great thought process, even when all emotions say to ignore it, that’s true mastery. SC: It is fair to say we understand one another so far.  D: Oh believe me, it’s hard for me to keep my chill when someone calls me a SC: *cuts him off* Wait. D: What? SC: Something is amiss. D: I don’t -  SC: Silence. *beat* Get down. *glass shatters* ASSASSIN LEADER: SHANG-CHI! THE WHITE DRAGON CALLS FOR YOUR DEATH! D: Who’s the White Dragon? SC: *fighting sounds throughout* Unclear. There have been several with that name. I watched the last one die. Beheaded by my brother. It seems someone new has taken up the mantle.  D: And I thought my family was difficult to deal with… SC: *to fighters* You all fight well, but in service to a madman. There will be no shame in submitting now. I promise this. But continue to fight me, and you and your master will suffer great pain. AL: You will join us, Shang-Chi, or die. Either way, the White Dragon Clan will be victorious! SC: There is no victory in your falsehoods.  D: But there will be a huge insurance claim coming your way! AL: The doctor is of no consequence! Subdue him or kill him, it is of little matter. D: I’M OUT! SC: *more fighting sounds, tapering off* there is no need, doctor. D: You...just took down a hit squad, while conversing at the same level as your original discourse with me…*random movement sounds* AND YOU’RE FIXING THE ROOM?!!! SC: I have brought pain and despair to your office. For this, I must apologize. D: Ok, first off, if we are going to have sessions together, do not apologize for saving my life.  Second, if it weren’t insulting to a man of your stature *whispers* and I could afford it *normal* I would hire you as my bodyguard on sight. SC: Or, I could teach you, in exchange for your psychiatric services. Bartering at it’s finest. D: “The Way of The Issues…” I’m sold! Ending (55:47) Recommended reading: Secret Avengers & Marvel Knights Next episodes: Crystal, Emma Frost, Starfire Plugs for social References: The Simpsons “Much Apu About Nothing” - Anthony (31:14) Apple Podcasts: here Google Play: here Stitcher: here TuneIn: here iHeartRadio: here Spotify: here Twitter Facebook Patreon TeePublic Discord

Intro Reminder to read The Longbox View Background James Gordon Jr. created by Frank Miller and Dave Mazzuchelli in Batman #407 (May 1987) Son of Jim Gordon and his first wife Barbara Jim Jr. was kidnapped by the Falcone crime family shortly after Jim Sr. moved to Gotham and became known as an incorruptible cop - Jim Jr. was tossed off a bridge, but saved by the new vigilante known as Batman Not much known until Black Mirror - revealed that Jim Jr. suffers from an imbalance in his amygdala, leaving him unable to process emotions in a typical manner As a young man, he liked to kill and torture animals, worrying his parents Implicated in the disappearance of one of his sister Barbara’s friends, although nothing was ever proven As an adult, he attempts to reconnect with his father and sister, telling them he’s on medication that helps stabilize him, and he’s helping Dr. Leslie Thompkins Jim Sr. doesn’t trust this, and has Barbara analyze the medication - turns out he reversed its effects, and he plans on dosing a children’s nutritional facility to increase homicidal tendencies He stabs Barbara in both legs, and tells her he helped break Joker out of Arkham before the Killing Joke - makes comment that he inspired Joker to shoot Barbara in the spine Also tells Batman (Dick Grayson) that empathy makes men weak - Barbara stabs him in the eye and his father shoots him in both legs New 52 - inmate at Arkham who drugged his sister and traded her to Joker in exchange for their mother Recruited into the Suicide Squad and joined because he was in love with Amanda Waller Reformed thanks to an experimental drug, and helped defeat the Batman Who Laughs Developed a split personality obsessed with killing redheads, but when confronted by Barbara, he realized what he had done and killed himself in remorse Issues (8:17) Trauma of being kidnapped (even if he was a baby) and being a target because of his father Amygdala issues means problems processing emotions (20:08) Views empathy as making people “weak” (30:35) Break (47:17) Plugs for BetterHelp, Ocho Duro Parlay Hour, and Howard Mackie Treatment (49:00) In-universe - Use Harley Quinn to help  Out of universe - Lengthy treatment utilizing SSRIs/medication and a team of professionals (54:18) Skit (60:02) Hello James, I’m Dr. Issues. - And how long have you been a doctor? Including residency, 12 years. - In all that time, how many patients have you successfully reformed? I don’t think of it in those terms. “Reformed” carries an all-or-nothing mindset. My focus is on meeting patients where they are, and helping them achieve whatever measure of success they’re looking for. -So none. That’s unfortunately the benchmark for your ilk. You just ignored everything I said. -No, I’m refuting your hypothesis. You were trying to set up a strawman. I just subverted you before you could get it going.  Opposite again. I would allow you to steelman...bring your greatest argument, and I can still get a positive point across. All it takes is a questioning thought, and a person’s automatic system can change. -You allow others to be at their strongest and barely make a dent in their psyche. *sarcastic clap* Bravo doctor. I see you’ve given a lot of thought to this. Specifically, you’ve spent your free time on ways to make professionals expend extra effort so you can drag them to your level and beat them with experience. I hope that doesn’t happen to me, but I KNOW it won’t happen from one session. This is refreshing in a way, because you’re so brazen about it. -*pause* I recognize the “don’t argue with an idiot” cliche when I hear it. How juvenile can you be?  I’m a big kid at heart, sometimes. I know you’re intelligent, so I didn’t think you’d be offended by an obvious joke. If you were, then I apologize. -Shame. “Big kid” apologizing, I’m sure that draws people to your humanism, but it doesn’t make them listen to your advice. It makes them question why they don’t just listen to their OWN child. At least that’s someone they can care about. You’re insignificant to them, and they don’t matter one bit to you. *Anger* Whoa, whoa...I care about my patients! I wouldn’t do this job if I didn’t care about each person I see. I just have my own boundaries so I don’t drain myself every day. -Draining yourself...another frailty. You can’t handle the basic burdens of a layperson’s life. I see it. You’re sweating...your skin is almost slimy, it’s pathetic. I didn’t come to your cell to be insulted. -*simultaneously* So where do you usually go? Aw man, that was so easy. For someone trying to knock me as weak, you still took the bait for a bad joke like that. -I learned a long time ago that finding a basic connection with someone can make future endeavors much easier with them. *pause* You don’t think my field is worth it, but you’re talking about future sessions? I’m missing something. -You’re missing everything. This is not a session about therapy. This is a session about strategy. I tried being subtle with your kind before. It almost got me killed. I play with medicines like candy. If you let me, I could make any inmate be your most compliant patient. Suffering is the strongest motivator. Take your benzodiazepine, or drink bleach. Here’s an antipsychotic...or barbed wire wrapped around your genitalia. Their choice, but either way, they’re following a “treatment plan.”  *long pause* I know I’m supposed to have some big emotional reaction to what you just said, but my own warped brain doesn’t allow for it. Therefore, I’ll just say it plainly...torture is not a treatment modality. -But it Aaaaaaaand, for people unlike you, it’s not fun. -That’s the first time so far that you’ve correctly pre-empted me. It’s likely your last, in part due to your own flaws again. I already told you, one session won’t make me drained, I’m not as weak as you think. -Care to wager? *fizzing sound* GAAAAAAAAH What on Earth was that?! My arm! -That, oh doctor of medicine, is a rare toxin that absorbs rapidly through the skin. Picked up a thing or two while I shared a cell with the Joker. I believe you’ve met? You have a few minutes to experience all of your sensations leaving your consciousness, and put you into a state of...what was that term…”locked in syndrome?” I thought what I did to Barbara made her world slow down, but to suspend yours forever? I could’ve never dreamed of a better opportunity. Well, if it affects you too strongly, you’ll die. Details, details. And don’t worry, I know it works because I already disseminated it on the staff and guards in a less noticeable and low potency form. They’re as weak as kittens right now and don’t even know it.  *unintelligible whispers* -*mockingly* I’m sorry, what was that? It’s hard to hear you from this end of relevance. Have you changed my thought pattern yet?  *whispers audibly* My...pen...get my pen... -Oh, that IS a fancy pen you’ve dropped, isn’t it? Monogrammed and everything. You come across more humble than that. Looking to write a last note to loved ones, hmmm? Oh...OOOOOOH, I see, probably a backup plan for you to activate in case of emergency. I’ll just keep it for myself then *zapping sound, with a thud* Or, you could activate it yourself because it is biocoded to me. -huuuuuh Oh no, no monologues, you did yours already. And I’m declining you as a patient! ***Explanation actually comes AFTER the skit for once*** Ending Recommended reading: Batman: The Black Mirror Next episodes: Shang-Chi, Crystal, Emma Frost Plugs for social References: Prosopagnosia - Anthony (28:16) BatMarch - Anthony (31:24) Joker episode - Anthony (70:55) Apple Podcasts: here Google Play: here Stitcher: here TuneIn: here iHeartRadio: here Spotify: here Twitter Facebook Patreon TeePublic Discord

Intro Background (1:45) Background (1:45) 5 created by Gerard Way & Gabriel Ba in The Umbrella Academy: The Apocalypse Suite #1 (Date) The Umbrella Academy is about a team of superpowered children All around the world, children are born to women who previously showed no signs of pregnancy - the children are all adopted by Dr. Reginald Hargreeves, a wealthy philanthropist (and secretly an alien), to create a team - 7 of the children ultimately survive, all identified by numbers instead of names 5 is able to travel through time, but only forwards - he arrives in a post-apocalyptic world, and spends 45 years figuring out how to return When he does, he is reverted to his 10 year old body, and is then incapable of aging or growing He arrives shortly after Dr. Hargreeves’ death, and reveals to the estranged team that the world ends 3 days after the death - he has to reunite the team, who had been apart for 9 years Works with #1, aka Spaceboy, to help lead the team - they end up fighting #7, who turns out to be the most powerful member of the team after she is experimented on by evil musicians - #5 shoots her in the head, leaving her paralyzed but alive In the second volume, it’s revealed that #5 was experimented on in the future, and had DNA from history’s greatest killers grafted into his body, making him the perfect assassin He was designed to prevent aberrations in the timestream, and then was sent back to help kill JFK - the “old” one has to kill all other assassins attempting to kill Kennedy so the “young” one can do the job - JFK ultimately ends up killed by #3, aka Rumor - also revealed that #5 and #1 are twin brothers Vol. 3 - Hotel Oblivion - neither of us have read it :(  Issues (6:04) Detached from humanity because of spending 50 years alone An adult in a child’s body - dysmorphia (12:50) Unhealthy coping mechanisms (18:12) Break (24:08) Plugs for BetterHelp, Legends: A Superhero Story, and Erica Schultz Treatment (26:07) In-universe - Lean into the temporal paradox of his life Out of universe - (33:30) Skit (42:18) Hello 5, I’m Dr. Issues. - Good afternoon Doctor. I must confess that in all my years of experience and all my patients, I’ve never dealt with one quite as young as you. - I wouldn’t consider this a deviation from the norm. Despite my appearance, I’m actually 60 years old.  Really? - The curse of my abilities. I traveled ahead in time, spent 50 years figuring out how to get back, and when I returned discovered my body had returned to the state it was when I first jumped. Not only that, I cannot age. So I’m stuck in this prepubescent body permanently. Oh my. - As you can imagine, it hasn’t exactly been the best time for me. I see. So, uh, 5… do you have another name I can use? - Yes, but unfortunately it’s long been forgotten. It doesn’t matter. There’s no one worthwhile who would use it anyway. Well I would like to think - And that’s where you’re wrong. It’s ultimately futile, Doctor, because all of this discussion is an attempt to think the unthinkable, undo what can’t be undone, unless I’ve already thought and done it. You’re literally talking in circles. -Living in circles, yes. Must you correct every phrase? -No, but when I don’t, there’s nobody else around to do it for me, so it might as well be me. What is it that you want, really? You talk as if you already have all of the answers. -Not all of them, just more than most. Maybe I want a little more. That’s a common problem. Hedonistic adaptation. -Hard to be hedonistic when everyone sees your appearance as a cherub. I wouldn’t go that far. -I would. I HAVE. I use...this...and I have to drown my past in booze sometimes because nobody believes a little boy has done what I’ve done. Well...what have you done? -Kill. Oh, I’m sorry. -A lot. ...um, still sorry? -...Not sure you should be. Some deserved it. Hopefully all. But I’m realistic. Played the odds. And how do you feel about the innocents you’ve killed? - It is what it is. Collateral damage, so to speak. That’s an awfully callous way to describe murder. - I wouldn’t know. The people that asked me to kill for them didn’t see a problem with it. I actually thought I talked it out pretty good with myself when I had some alone time. When was that? -Twenty years into the future before I knew I had to get back to the past. I...uh...that actually...it’s… -No need to stammer. I’ll move on NO! I apologize, I’m willing to admit when I need clarification on something. I get the gist of your time travel, but what did you see that made you want to go back? Clearly it wasn’t good. -That’s where the “talking to myself” part comes in. I was young, so I don’t really know if I understood, other than it was bad. Then I got to think about it later, and I realized it was the worst possible outcome for everyone involved. I screwed up trying to get back so many times. Any problems now are like a fart in the wind. So you saw a bad future, and come back to a young age, despite being older, and do a lot of killing along the way...you must have some impressive coping mechanisms to even be able to talk about this so candidly. -I’m not going to argue with you about that. But everybody has their own style, you know? The ones I hang around with, we’re considered freaks of nature. Far be it for me to put a damper on your… extracurricular activities, but surely you can appreciate value in SOMEthing other than that. - I have a cute little puppy. Wonderful! I’d love to hear all abou -he’s the greatest thing he has such a cute droopy thing he does with his ear he likes to get his head scratched all the time he would chase a ball for hours and sometimes I fake throwing it or a replace it with a grenade so he can learn to sniff gunpowder and then I give his old ball back and I think I feed him too much but he whimpers when I miss food time his name is Mr. Pennycrumb…*breathes heavily* Whoa. In such a brief period of time you showed more emotional range than with any other serious topic you’ve discussed so far. Would you like more of that? -Yes please. ***awkward pause***You don’t have to say please. Um...well then, I guess our goal is to help broaden your emotional spectrum while reconnecting to...living...things. -Close enough. So shall I expect you in a future session? - Were I a man who considered such things, I’d appreciate that play on words. As it stands I simply acknowledge it and say that we will see each other again. Ending (47:55) Recommended reading: Vol 2: Dallas Next episodes: Jim Gordon Jr., Crystal, Emma Frost Plugs for social References: Patreon TPB review - Anthony (0:57) “Time Enough at Last” - Anthony (6:34) Cast Away - Doc (7:22) Apple Podcasts: here Google Play: here Stitcher: here TuneIn: here iHeartRadio: here Spotify: here Twitter Facebook Patreon TeePublic Discord

Intro Background (2:10) Amanda Waller created by John Ostrander, Len Wein, and John Byrne in Legends #1 (Nov 1986) Amanda Waller introduced as leader of Suicide Squad, a branch of Task Force X - she butts heads with everyone on the team, especially Captain Boomerang, but she gets results Later revealed that her family was murdered living in Chicago - worked her way up from congressional aide to head of Suicide Squad Janus Directive - Nearly assassinated and replaced with a doppleganger, but kills the double and passes so she can find out who sent them Later serves under President Lex Luthor as Secretary of Metahuman Affairs, until she is imprisoned for running afoul of Luthor Released by the next President and put in charge of Checkmate, serving as both Black King and White Queen Discovered to be responsible for an anti-Superman organization called Last Line, and created a monster named All-American Boy made of Kryptonite and Doomsday’s cells to battle Superman should he ever go rogue New 52 - Back in charge of Suicide Squad, and later responsible for helping to create Justice League of America DC Rebirth - reports directly to President Obama, and tells him Suicide Squad is a necessary evil - Rick Flag is put in charge of Task Force X Later fakes her own assassination to reveal an international cabal that the Squad helps take down Issues (6:11) Matt’s question: “How in the hell does someone get to be like that? Where not only the criminals she works with, but other people in general, are literally nothing to her. They have absolutely no agency to her except as instruments, means to her goals, or whatever tasks she’s been assigned by the people above her. Her wonderfully fleshed-out backstory does a great job of explaining her iron determination, aggressiveness, and take-no-shit-from-anyone demeanor, and it’s easy to see how it would give her a fight-fire-with-fire philosophy, but not the place of complete and utter detachment from basic moral principles she regularly goes to in order to do her job. She’s certainly not a sociopath, at least I don’t think so. She’s demonstrated plenty of times that she’s perfectly capable of empathy. In fact, I’d argue she’s more skilled at empathy than most people. It’s what makes her so effective at her job, reading people and being able to intuit what they’re feeling and the things they want. She just ultimately doesn’t care what happens to anyone else, unless it’s a part of her mission objective. And it’s not an act she puts on for the benefit of the people in the Suicide Squad or the targets they’re sent up against; she displays the same casual disregard for superheroes, government officials, military brass, and world leaders. It’s like other people just don’t matter to her at all. The only thing I can come up with to maybe explain her is that, owing to the circumstances of her early life, it’d be really easy to have a hyper-pessimistic default assumption that humans are generally evil, venial, corrupt little shits who don’t warrant much consideration. That’s something that, unfortunately, with how old and set in her ways Waller is, it’d be really difficult to get her to change. She probably doesn’t view anything about herself as being a problem that needs fixing, even though it’s gotten her thrown into prison more than once.” Break (27:40) Plugs for BetterHelp, Hops Geek News, and Meredith Finch Treatment (29:44) In-universe - Have her work on fixing the bottled city of Kandor Out of universe - (34:00) - Entrenched government bureaucrat on a power trip Skit (feat. Jasmin from Geeks Unleashed) (41:54)  DOC: *muffled* What’s going on? Where am I? AMANDA: Hello, Dr. Issues. D: *bag comes off head* What the hell… Amanda Waller? What are you doing? A: I don’t do therapy sessions, and certainly not in your office. I have other plans for you. D:  Do those plans involve untying me from this chair? A: Depends on how you answer the next few questions. Although having read your file, I think I have an inkling as to how this will go. D: Is that so? Care to enlighten me then? A: Sure. You'll try to talk your way out of this, I'll explain what I'm doing, you'll still do your best to weasel out, I'll reveal that I implanted a bomb in the base of your skull, and then you'll do what I say.  D: YOU WHAT?  A: Oh, the bomb. I needed a failsafe to make sure you played along.  D: WHAT HAPPENED TO ASKING NICELY?  A: I don't have time for that. I need this next mission to go smoothly, and there are some potential disruptive actors that need reigning in. That’s where your expertise comes into play. D: My expertise went out the window the second you made me a hostage. Surely you’re aware of the research that indicates I’ll tell you whatever you want to hear, or do superficially whatever you say, for the sake of self preservation? At what point did you ignore conventional interaction for pure transactional gain? A: Right on cue. The literature you suggest has only been applied to prisoners of war; you are not a part of that cohort. Also, that’s your first attempt at stalling. I’m indulging because I think it’s relevant to your duty. I trust that you’ve read Thaler’s work? D: Nudge? His book on behavioral economics? Sure! I love it because he describes humanity as a set of imperfect beings that are generally predictable, but not perfectly rational. Lest I remind you, the point was SUBTLE ADJUSTMENTS. This is totally too far. A: Is it? When the world’s very existence is at stake? When I do things my way, there is as close to a guarantee of success as any monte-carlo forecast may show. Trying to prove me wrong is trying to lower the odds. A gambling man like yourself should know the house always wins. D: So you’ve done as much planning as anyone can reasonably expect. Somehow, I’m integral to this. That means my demise lowers your odds as well. A: Not exactly. I need A psychiatrist, not specifically you as the psychiatrist. You merely have some insight into the assets that could be useful. D: Then the rate limiting step is time. So your hypothesis is that threatening instant death in a civilian is likely to lead to faster contrition than...oh I don’t know...convincing any professional that SAVING THE WORLD is worth the effort? Just how risky is this? Or did that part of the expected value curve get left off the page because you forgot how to manage that? A: Since you’re about to lead into more stalling, I’ll curtail your inquisition: JOKER. D: *pause* Awwwwwww...man...AWWWWWWWW COME ON! Are you expecting me to cure the Joker? Under duress, I think it’s necessary to inform you that-  A: I’m aware of your prior encounters. You are ideal, regardless of the outcomes. You didn’t back down. That’s more than most can say. All I need is for you to string him along so nothing else goes wrong with the others involved. D: HE ELECTROCUTED ME! A: And you continued treating dozens of superpowered beings, deranged humans and other sentient forms. This is quite the honor, to be hand picked to serve the greater good, even at the most inconvenient of times. D: You suck up to me now AFTER you put the bomb in me?!!! Lady, I respect your hustle and grit, but you got this all backwards. Don’t think I’ll let this be cheap. A: Money is irrelevant, you know that. D: Well clearly to you because apparently you don’t want FRIENDLY mediums of exchange. I can’t remember someone sounding so noble while being so...mean. Who hurt you bad enough for you to give up on everyone...and yet still “care” about the world? That’s some traumatic dissonance. A: *restrained anger* You REALLY are trying to be a therapist right now, after all of the warnings? This is getting long, Doctor. Or, would you rather I call you Ar- D: PLEASE! I do all of this because I want to help. Truly. I...I’m going to be honest. Anything I try with you, or the Joker at this point,  is beyond what I’m comfortable with as a professional. I meant what I said earlier. I just want this to stop. I hope you save the world. I also hope that you find the emotional center that you lost when your family died. A: ...and that’s the line *explosion* Shame. I wasn’t sure if he’d try to make it personal. That was pointless. *text/phone sound* What now...Harvey Dent Automated Legal team? Why…*more notifications keep ringing* private settlement based on medical alert on behalf of Dr. Issues? Insurance review for physical and mental health damages by an unknown organization? Discovery hearing with local, state AND federal committees? JUSTICE LEAGUE VIDEO CHAT? I don’t have time for this! *calls phone* It’s Waller. We’re going to need 4 neurosurgeons and an ortho spine surgeon here immediately. NO, we don’t need more bombs. Not yet, anyway. We’ll...go on hiatus with that for a little while. Ending (48:03) Recommended reading: Suicide Squad: Trial by Fire, Suicide Squad: The Black Vault Next episodes: 5 from Umbrella Academy, Jim Gordon Jr., Crystal Plugs for social References: Stone Cold DTA - Anthony (21:48) Dr. Doom episode - Doc (26:17) Lil’ Wayne “6 Foot 7 Foot” (NSFW) - Anthony (26:57) Meet the Parents/Meet the Fockers - Doc (35:04) Apple Podcasts: here Google Play: here Stitcher: here TuneIn: here iHeartRadio: here Spotify: here Twitter Facebook Patreon TeePublic Discord

Intro Background (1:42) Jocasta created by Jim Shooter and George Perez in Avengers #162 (Aug 1977) Jocasta was built by Ultron as a “wife” - he kidnapped Janet van Dyne and brainwashed Hank Pym in order to have her brain pattern and mind transferred to the robot body - the Avengers disrupted the process before it was done, having been alerted by the subconscious Janet inside Jocasta’s body Hank brought the body to Avengers Mansion for further study, where it was remotely activated by Ultron, but she betrayed her creator and helped the Avengers defeat him again Lived at the mansion for a time, but never felt part of the team until she sacrificed herself to destroy Ultron once more Recreated by the High Evolutionary to be used for their purposes, but she remembered the Avengers, and signaled for them to assist - once again she self-sacrificed to save the team, but before she did so Captain America told her she’d always be an Avenger Survived another destruction by downloading herself into Iron Man’s armor, and she served as his suit’s AI for a time, until the portion of code to reassemble Ultron appeared again Joins the Mighty Avengers, but duplicates of her body were taken over by Ultron - in exchange for him ending the fight, she agreed to marry him - once that happened Hank Pym stranded them in space, where he couldn’t hurt anyone else Served on the faculty for Avengers Academy Sought out Tony Stark’s brother Arno to help her create a more human-like body, but it came with a code to make her submissive to humans - she and Machine Man helped defeat Arno and the Extinction Entity Issues (4:19) Built to be a bride Initial distrust by teammates (9:49) Longing to be human (20:01) Break (26:06) Plugs for BetterHelp, Frigay the 13th, and Al Ewing Treatment (28:08) In-universe - Use Master Mold to give her 3 chances to create the “perfect” version of herself Out of universe - (31:14) Skit featuring Anna from Freudian Sips (41:16) DOC: Hello Jocasta, I’m Dr. Issues.  JOCASTA: Wait...ok, nice to meet you. D: Why’d you tell me to wait?  J: I decided to defragment your hard drive after I exited your system. D: Those are...words…*realization* did you just hack into my computer?!  J: Hacking would imply there was a proper barrier in place that requires a combination of data mining and social engineering. This was just walking through a decade-old loophole of your operating system. And yet, the certifications for your medical records indicate that this is still standard for your electronic charts. D: So many questions...why do that at all?  J: Prior knowledge that you have had encounters with relevant parties. D: Well, I did have a sentient cyborg take over the recording equipment, but I wouldn’t think you’d know  J: I mean Hank. D: So did I, but I didn’t think you know krypt...whoops, wrong rabbit hole! Hank! Hank! Riiiiiight *nervous laugh*  J: For as long as I’ve been around humanity, I still don’t “get it.” D: *eager to change to that subject*  Perhaps I can help you with that, then. For starters, don’t violate confidentiality with someone trying to help you in a session. But I’m willing to acknowledge that you wanted some good to come out of it.  J: That’s something that’s been a facet of my existence from the beginning. I am meant to serve. D: That’s a noble view...but the way you said it, you sound melancholic. There’s a difference between providing a service and being a puppet.  J: It’s hard to distinguish when you’re a limited edition e-mail order bride. D: Ouch! I got that hostility. Seems like there’s much to unpack, and we’re clearly not going to get to all of it in one session. What would you like to stick with for now?  J: Going by your order of operations, I’ll keep to the human side...or lack thereof. D: Stop selling yourself short. The fact that you emote as much as you do makes you capable of anything and everything as a sentient being.  J: Have you ever had to create your own sense of reality?  D: I think we all do that  J: But have you had it truly manifest as its own virtual world? I did that when I was working with Stark. All I did was spend as much time as I could in it, being more human than I first thought possible. I almost made it in this world, too. Something always diverts my plans, though. D: That tends to happen in all of our realities.  J: But not due to someone that forces it ad infinitum. D: For some, it can. Past experiences fade, but don’t erase easily.  J: Your attempt at this philosophical approach is not matching the data I’m providing you. D: ...Alright, I hesitate to say this, but your vocabulary has this ‘uncanny valley’ thing going on and it’s a bit unnerving. Sometimes you’re talking in modern colloquial English, while other times you’re close to what I would expect if Siri had a body.  J: *sad* That registers as accurate...rings as true...I’m trying. D: I’m sorry...that was uncalled for on my part. Some observations I make are meant to push deeper into the underlying framework of what makes you...you. It’s not your job to match my expectations. It’s my job to meet yours as best I can, as long as it produces a better outcome.  J: There have been several times I was not in control. There is no metaphor or euphemism. I was used. My existence is at the whims of those around me. I find objection to that. D: As you should. No one deserves to be used.  J: There is no end to that cycle. D: I respectfully disagree. There may be no easy way to destroy a loop, but it can be done.  J: *change in tone* But what if it was already too late? D: I admit that I remain optimistic.  J: Really? You seem as slow as you’ve ever been.  D: That doesn’t make sense. This is the first time I’ve met you.  J: *slowly becoming more sinister* Because this construct has limited voice modulation I can’t sound the way you would recognize. Do you always provide such ease of access through medical charts that allows for skimming of other website data? Your contact information with Avengers...countless lists of potential blackmail weaknesses and bank accounts. Jocasta was right. This is not hacking. This is kindergarten stuff. D: The smug overtones in a robotic voice...Hank Hen  J: I’M ULTRON YOU IDIOT D: Close guess...uh oh.  J: Unlike Pym, I don’t have to blend in with this body. She was mine at any time I pleased. D: You have no clue just how screwed up that sounds.  J: Should I care? I will never let you survive after what you put me through...the humiliation from that...what do you call these? Sessions? Torture is more like it. D: Jo...can I call you Jo? If you’re anywhere around right now, I could really use your...uh...humanity, to shine through.  J: That’s such a cheap trope. Do you really think that’s going to work on a non-human entity?  D: Not really, but it stalled long enough while I do this ***sound effect of powering everything down*** well, that emergency shutdown code in my charting system isn’t so out-of-date, is it? One of the seven rules of highly effective people. If you pick up one end of a stick, you automatically pick up the other end. ***sound of power coming back on***  J:***Back as Jocasta*** Wow that sucked. D: Definitely a human phrase...you are Jocasta, right?  J: Yes...and I can tell the difference without that...bloatware.  D: While not the same, I think I just gave you the computer equivalent of ECT treatment. I don’t think you’ll want maintenance therapy though because I can’t figure out the anesthesia analogue.  J: Then regular sessions will do. Thanks...for letting me be a little closer to what I want to be. Ending (47:25) Recommended reading: Avengers Academy, Iron Man Review read: scottymayknow, I love the conceptI love the idea of analyzing characters and why they would do certain things! To break down the choices of Superman in the Red Son comic series was so good! Not only that I love the Maxwell lord series as well! I highly recommend this podcast Next episodes: Amanda Waller, 5 from Umbrella Academy, Jim Gordon Jr. Plugs for social/Patreon References: Hamilton “Right Hand Man” - Doc (9:38) WandaVision episode - Anthony (10:26) PKJ episode - Doc (31:52) Apple Podcasts: here Google Play: here Stitcher: here TuneIn: here iHeartRadio: here Spotify: here Twitter Facebook Patreon TeePublic Discord

Intro Background (1:55) Doctor Doom created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby in Fantastic Four #5 (July 1962) Victor Von Doom was born to Romani parents - his mother was killed by Mephisto when he was young, and he grew up learning about mysticism and technology in an effort to bring her back He went to Empire State University, where he encountered Reed Richards - while building a machine to communicate with the dead (specifically his mother), Reed corrected his math, but Victor’s ego refused to let him make the necessary corrections, and the machine exploded, scarring him permanently - he fled and created a suit of armor, including a mask - he put it on his face before it had sufficiently cooled, which burned him further and fused it to his face He spent the next several years seeking vengeance on the FF in various ways, but always defeated by Reed’s genius and/or the combined effort of the team Began battling other Marvel heroes, and during the original Secret Wars event managed to obtain the power of the Beyonder, although he wasn’t able to maintain it Does assist the FF when Sue is pregnant with her second child - Johnny goes to him for help, knowing he won’t pass up the chance to one-up Reed - his help succeeds, and all he asks is that the child be named Valeria, after a former love of his Occasionally works alongside Namor, including as part of the Cabal After another battle with Reed, begins losing mental capacity - Valeria helps restore his mind in exchange for his assistance, and he joins the Future Foundation to help defeat the Council of Reeds During the second Secret Wars event, he usurps the power of the Beyonder again and becomes God Emperor Doom - his ability, coupled with that of the Molecule Man, creates a brand new universe, where the members of the Fantastic Four are serving him in various capacities (Sue is his wife, Johnny is the sun, Ben is the wall surrounding the capital) - Reed and a collection of surviving heroes defeat Doom, and using the restorative power of the Beyonder, heal Doom’s face Takes over as the new Iron Man after Tony’s defeat in Civil War II, and serves heroically for a time until he’s attacked by the Hood, where he gets burned yet again Issues Matt’s description: “The two traits that have defined his character for 60 years. The narcissistic personality disorder to end all narcissistic personality disorders, and the mother fixation to end all mother fixations. Both just amped up to eleven and beyond. But, he certainly makes it work, doesn't he? You honestly can't tell me if you dropped the comic book version of Doom into the real world, not only would he not be out of place among the pack of sideshow clowns who have been running the world since the fall of communism, but he'd be among the most revered leaders in the world for his effectiveness in providing for his citizens. And I wonder if it's the rare instance of an NPD being used for good. Latervians canonically have a first world standard of living. Universal education, free healthcare, little to no pollution, no crime to speak of, and an economy that's as thriving as a country subject to constant embargoes from the United States can be. Moreover, every single one of his citizen matters to him, the same as if they were extensions of himself, which -- let's face it -- is probably how he views them. If you're a farmer with a crop blight problem, Doom will personally come to your farm, figure out what's causing it, eradicate it, and supply you with a new proprietary super-effective soil nutrient solution he devised in the shower that morning. If you leave the country, there's literally nowhere you can't go to and come back from safely. The Latverian passport is just a card that says "Admit this person into your country or suffer the wrath of DOOM." It's never once been questioned. If you harm even a single hair on a Laterivan citizen's head, Doom will personally track you across the entire universe, through time, or across dimensions and force you to make restitution. Now, obviously, he does this because it's an affront to his unquenchable ego for everything in his country to not be the greatest in all of creation. But -- and this might be delving into the PoliSci angle a bit -- in 2021, would anyone really care why he did it? His country is fed, clothed, housed, educated, productive, and healthy. Yes, he wants to conquer the world (and really, everything beyond it, but we'll start with the world), but it's because he genuinely believes that humanity is being deprived of the benefits they would have under his magnanimous rule, and I'm sure it legitimately breaks his heart.As a psychologist, how would you even start getting through to him? What kind of circumstances would you need? He's got to be one of the toughest nuts to crack in any comic book universe. Ego/Vanity (10:41) Mama’s boy writ large (18:33) Rivalry with Reed Richards (26:16) Break (37:00) Plugs for BetterHelp, Not If I Reboot You First, and Phillip Kennedy Johnson Treatment (39:02) In-universe - Set up a mental health service in Latveria to purposely fail so Doom has to get his hands dirty and realize what’s important Out of universe - Unlikely therapy would happen voluntarily, but if it did, requiring “terraforming of the soul” Skit (43:50) Hello Dr. Doom, I’m Dr. Issues. - GOOD AFTERNOON FELLOW DOCTOR. DO YOU COMPARE YOUR DEGREE WITH THE MIGHT OF DOOM? What? No! Of course not! - A WISE MOVE. NONE CAN MATCH THE WISDOM AND BRILLIANCE OF DOOM. NOT EVEN RICHARDS, ALTHOUGH HE WOULD NEVER ADMIT IT. I think that’s record time for someone to bring up a personal nemesis without prompting- NEMESIS? NO. RICHARDS IS NOT WORTHY OF SUCH A TITLE, NOR THE BRAINPOWER IT WOULD REQUIRE TO DEEM HIM SO. I MERELY MENTION HIM TO STAVE OFF ANY SUCH IDEAS YOU MIGHT HAVE OF COMPARING US. DOOM’S NEMESES ARE IGNORANCE AND MYOPIA.  And you do this by mentioning yourself in the third person, barely registering someone that has...led to some setbacks, and registering a speech pattern that I can only describe as “eleven” - DOOM DOES NOT SUFFER SETBACKS. DOOM WINS OR LEARNS. *under breath* That would explain the oodles of wisdom -WHAT WAS THAT? Nothing. I wanted to learn from your wisdom, then. How have encounters with someone like Richards educated you from an emotional intelligence standpoint? - DOOM’S EMOTIONS PLAY LITTLE ROLE IN THE DECISIONS THAT NEED TO BE MADE. LATVERIANS REQUIRE A RULER TO FOCUS ON THEIR WELL-BEING, NOT IMMATURE CONTESTS. WHICH DOOM WOULD WIN ANYWAY. In that case, heavy is the head that wears the crown...er, mask. How do you manage the stress of being the sole decision maker for a whole country? - THERE IS NO STRESS. MY CITIZENS DESERVE THE BEST. THAT IS WHAT THEY SHALL HAVE. DOOM CARES NOT FOR WHAT OTHER NATIONS PROVIDE FOR THEIR PEOPLE. But do you always know what’s best? What if -YES. I didn’t even get to my -QUESTION DOOM AT YOUR OWN PERIL *deep breaths* Ok, I shall learn from this, as you say. *tries feebly to match DOOM’s bravado* THERE IS NO REPLACEMENT FOR IGNORANCE OF OTHER’S EMOTIONS, NO MATTER HOW WELL INTENTIONED YOU ARE. THE CITIZENS OF YOUR COUNTRY WILL ALWAYS KNOW THAT YOU WANT WHAT IS BEST FOR THEM. WHEN WILL YOU KNOW BEFORE THEIR REVOLUTION THAT THEY HAVE CHANGED, AS ALL HUMANS DO? - DOOM’S STANDARDS EVOLVE WITH TIME. DO NOT CONFUSE DISREGARD FOR POLITICAL NICETIES WITH LACK OF CONCERN FOR THE CITIZENRY. EVERY LATVERIAN IS IMPORTANT TO DOOM. THE OPINIONS OF THE REST OF THE WORLD ARE IRRELEVANT, HOWEVER. So people aren’t important. Got it. - UNTIL HUMANITY RECOGNIZES THEIR BEST HOPE OF SURVIVAL AND ADVANCEMENT IS THROUGH DOOM, THE FOCUS SHALL BE ON THE BEST LIFE FOR LATVERIANS. DOOM CANNOT FORCE MANKIND TO SEE THIS, ONLY PROVIDE A LIVING EXAMPLE FOR THEM TO STRIVE AND ULTIMATELY FAIL TO ACHIEVE. Cool. The rest of humanity survives it’s own way and sees this nice, shiny, relatively small fancy object that it can’t have, and whistles on by. History’s most elaborate footnote. If only everyone else had listened, then the ultimate martyr would have had a brighter day in the sun. - DOOM HAS FORESEEN ALL THE TIMELINES. THE ONLY ONE IN WHICH HUMANITY SURVIVES AND THRIVES IS THAT WHICH DOOM CONTROLS. THE WORLD IGNORES THIS AT ITS OWN PERIL. The world ignores a lot of things, all of the time. Each person has their own idea of what is most important to them at each moment. What you are asking for is the world to recognize you as the most important thing at some moment. You tell me...based on one in a...whatever number of scenarios, with a population of billions, each with their own free will, most with no knowledge of the things you speak, and the odds of winning a genetic lottery to be born in the country you rule...for someone with the largest aspirations known on the planet, you really sell yourself short in the marketing department! - DOOM DOES NOT SELL ANYTHING SHORT. DOOM IS NO MERE CARNIVAL BARKER. THERE IS NO OVERSTATEMENT OR EXAGGERATION INVOLVED. DOOM MERELY SPEAKS FACTS. THE WORLD IS IN GRAVE DANGER UNLESS FEALTY IS SWORN. YOU SPEAK OF DOOM’S DISREGARD FOR HUMANITY AND FREE WILL. IT IS BORNE OF AN OVERWHELMING LOVE FOR HUMANITY ABOVE ALL ELSE THAT DRIVES DOOM. YOUR CONTINUED BLINDNESS TOWARDS THIS MAKES DOOM QUESTION YOUR CREDENTIALS. YOU ARE EVEN LESS DESERVING OF YOUR DOCTORATE THAN RICHARDS. I’m not stupid enough to say that you are wrong in your convictions. I’m providing the perspective of someone who hears these sorts of comments from multiple people with regards to their importance in the world. I know you are wise enough to look at someone else’s perspective, so take mine: if multiple people claim they are number one at the same thing, and with the same conviction, then how do I discern what is fact versus narcissistic conjecture? I legitimately want your guidance on this. - DOOM IS NUMBER ONE BECAUSE DOOM WILLS IT TO BE SO. IN ADDITION, LATVERIA’S STANDARD OF LIVING IS PROOF OF DOOM’S MAGNANIMOUS NATURE. IF ALL MANKIND ENJOYED THE SAME BENEFITS, THERE IS NO END TO WHAT COULD BE ACHIEVED. SO IT IS NOT MERE CONJECTURE OR BOASTING. IT IS FACTUAL. DOOM’S LEADERSHIP EXCEEDS ALL OTHERS. Magnanimous? By that logic you would be willing to give me some credit for taking the time as an outsider to try and learn of your motivations, your culture, your experience -SO IT SHALL BE *text notification sound* What’s this? *surprised* Why would I get a notification from my bank? I don’t even have it linked! WHAT DID YOU DO? -YOU DARE QUESTION DOOM’S SINCERITY IN HIS LOVE OF MANKIND? IF YOU TRULY ARE AN AMBASSADOR TO LATVERIA, EVEN IF DOOM DOES NOT REQUIRE SUCH NEED OF A DOCTOR, I DO NOT WASTE RESOURCES ON SUCH AN ENCOUNTER. Are you...are you overpaying to make it seem like this session was more important than it appears even though you disagree with me? -THIS IS THE EXPERIENCE OF ALL WHO SERVE THE HEALTH OF LATVERIA. So you’re saying this is my money, at this point, to do with as I please? -DO NOT CHALLENGE THE BENEVOLENCE OF DOOM Alrighty...just let me get my transfer going...there. I’m glad you are such a fantastic soul. -DOOM IS QUITE AWARE OF YOUR PUNS. WHAT DID YOU JUST DO? I just donated the excess money, net of my standard fee of course, to the Future Foundation. -THIS INSULT WILL NOT STAND! What insult? You’ve collaborated before with the foundation to save existence itself, and this is my choice, not yours. I think they may be perplexed by the “FOR THE GOOD OF LATVERIA” comment. -IF THERE IS A MEETING OF THE MINDS WITH RICHARDS BECAUSE OF THIS, THEN I WILL HOLD YOU PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE. And I will be obligated, based on your oft-mentioned wisdom, to acknowledge my role as I can’t lie. Would you rather me be an anonymous cog, or a part of your team to make ongoing improvements? -DOOM HAS NO NEED OF A TEAM...BUT A SUBSERVIENT ADVISOR MAY PROVE OF USE FROM TIME TO TIME. CONSIDER IT DONE, NON-CITIZEN MINION OF MENTAL HEALTH. Minion? Well, better than prisoner or casualty, I guess. - YOUR GRATITUDE IS APPRECIATED. DOOM HAS SPOKEN. Ending (51:36) Recommended reading: old Fantastic Four books, original Secret Wars Review read: A Unique Concept with a Super Delivery! A unique take on your favorite superheroes, diving into a side of them you might not often think of right away.. should they be in therapy? Find out by listening to Capes on The Couch! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️- The Good Game Guys Next episodes: Jocasta, Amanda Waller, 5 from Umbrella Academy Plugs for social References: Mortal Kombat Friendship - Anthony (04:20) Molecule Man episode - Anthony (5:10) Fall Out Boy “I Don’t Care” - Anthony (15:38) Hamilton “What’d I Miss?” - Anthony/Doc (15:58) Ali/Frazier feud - Doc (27:58) Apple Podcasts: here Google Play: here Stitcher: here TuneIn: here iHeartRadio: here Spotify: here Twitter Facebook Patreon TeePublic Discord

Intro Background (1:40) Rogue created by Chris Claremont and Michael Golden in Avengers Annual #10 (August 1981) Born Anna Marie in Mississippi, her parents disappeared when she was young, and she was raised by her strict aunt - she rebelled as a teen, earning the nickname Rogue After kissing a boy named Cody, her latent mutant abilities manifested, sending Cody into a coma - she discovered any skin-to-skin contact with a person would cause her to absorb their life force, and in some cases their memories - she covered herself up to avoid touching anyone ever again Mystique found Rogue and began mentoring her, eventually bringing her into the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants - she was sent to attack Carol Danvers - during the fight, prolonged contact caused Rogue to permanently absorb Carol’s powers, and gave Carol amnesia - the Danvers identity would remain with Rogue for many years, eventually causing Rogue to seek out Professor Xavier for assistance She eventually joined the X-Men, slowly earning their trust and becoming a valuable teammate, even as Danvers continued to control her in periods of stress or unconsciousness - after losing her powers in a battle with Master Mold, she discovered the Danvers identity was also gone As her powers returned, she also began an on-again/off-again relationship with Gambit, but her lack of physical intimacy and his dishonesty caused friction for a long time - after a battle with Destiny robbed them both of their powers, they left the X-Men and moved in together to explore their relationship After another battle with Mystique where her foster mother tried to kill her, she absorbed Mystique’s powers and left her for dead - went to the Australian outback to figure out how to control her powers - with the help of Xavier, she was able to control her absorption for the first time in her life Eventually started a relationship with Magneto, although it was largely long-distance, as they both had other commitments Originally stayed neutral during AvX, but joined the staff at the Xavier Institute after a fight broke out on campus and She-Hulk inadvertently injured some children Turned down a marriage proposal from Magneto, and ended their relationship Joined the Avengers Unity Division as a mutant representative, eventually becoming field leader Restarted her relationship with Gambit, and after Kitty Pryde broke off her engagement to Colossus at the altar, Gambit proposed to Rogue on the spot, and they were married instead - got transported to the Mojoverse for their honeymoon, since Mojo wanted a famous couple for his new show Issues (6:15) Authoritarian upbringing caused her to rebel Inability to touch anyone caused problems in her relationships, both romantic and platonic (18:26) Broken relationship with Mystique, where they alternate between trying to kill each other and trying to work together (27:06) Break (34:36) Plugs for BetterHelp, Grief Burrito, and Chris Claremont Treatment (36:11) In-universe - Use other mutants to help transmute the energy flow as a result of contact and help her move past that Out of universe - (40:06) Skit (49:22) Hello Rogue, I’m Dr. Issues. - Hey there, sugah. So, what can I do for you? -I don’t know, what can you do? *sarcasm* Hardee har har. I have the ability to listen to what you have to say, synthesize that dialogue in a way that may have some benefit to you and your relationships, while monitoring for any signs of a formal diagnosis that needs more focused treatment. -Shoot, I thought you were gonna get all flustered like most guys do when someone like me talks coy with them. I got over that a long time ago. -Must be nice Meh. -*pause* Well, I guess that’s my way of saying I’m stuck. I either push people away too quickly, or I dive in and get myself into stuff I can’t just walk out of. Why not? -That’s a really easy one. Do you know about my powers? I do my homework, sure. -Well, imagine if your first chance at a physical connection, you destroy their life...I mean, REALLY destroy it. You don’t get over that. There’s no amount of talking that can fix that. *pause* I’m terribly sorry. From the tone in your voice I can tell it wasn’t intentional. -But it doesn’t stop there. I was led to do some horrible things to people and I didn’t know the consequences. That’s the type of thing that some people can’t ever live with themselves over. Do you get what I’m saying? Hmm...has it ever gotten to that point for you, where life wasn’t worth it anymore? -No! Well, not like that, but to disappear, to not hurt anybody, that’s the type of thing I wish for sometimes.  This next question is meant to get to something deep here, so please don’t think I’m trying to lead you...why haven’t you disappeared? -That’s like trying to hide the Juggernaut in a kiddie pool. That dog won’t hunt. Besides, every time I did walk away, my past came back to bite me. So I gave up on tryna run. So anonymity doesn’t work, but your powers are a huge factor in any basic intimacy...wow, I have to say, I’m impressed you’ve continued to persevere as well as you have. -Thank you...not many people see it that way besides you. I’m glad to hear that there’s more than just me. -Are you always trying to see the glass half full? I try to see the glass with whatever amount is inside, the contents, the condition of the glass, the -I get the point. No stone unturned. Does that mean you want to know who sees the good in me? -Of course! -Let’s start with Remy number one. That man...there’s something about that man, it’s hard to describe. He just...lights me up inside.  Aww, that’s sweet! -Hold on, ah don’t want it to sound all peaches and cream. Ah mean, when it’s good, it’s finer than frog hair. But he’s got a real stubborn streak. When he doesn’t get his way, he doubles down on how he feels. Shucks, I think sometimes he argues with me just to watch me burn up! Maybe; I don’t want to speculate on him since I don't’ know him as well as you do. But you’re the one who says he makes you feel that way. That type of bond doesn’t happen overnight. -Damn right it doesn’t! How many people get told they have to wait for the right time, and that time might be never? Well, he was there for all of it. Even when I went my own way, he came right back to me no matter what.  As with most relationships, that sounds like a two-way street. However you got to the point that you are on a similar wavelength, I’m genuinely happy for you. To be honest, if you’re doing okay with that aspect of things, maybe there’s another part of your life that is challenging you. -Everything.  I see that’s your style of response, but can we please drill down a bit? -Can we not and say we did? Rogue, I’m really not a hardass. You don’t have to be scared of a psychiatrist. -*laughs* Oh sugah, I’m not scared of you. I’m scared of what I’ll say to you. You probably lock up half the people you see just for speaking their mind. I only look out for the safety of my patients and the rest of society. Having emotions is not a risk. It’s what you do with those emotions that counts. As long as you are not a danger to yourself or others, this is completely confidential. And if it’s in the past, then I would never put you through “double jeopardy.” -So if I told you that my second mama wanted to kill me after I had made up with the women she had me nearly kill and take her life, you’re not gonna arrest me? *dramatic gulp* Well, I didn’t quite expect that, but...no. My main concern is how that -*sarcasm* How did it make me feel? HOW DO YOU THINK?  A lot of people have that reaction...which is why I was going to ask HOW DID THAT AFFECT THE PEOPLE INVOLVED. -*pause* Son of a gun, nobody really asks that. I suppose Carol was really pissed off...wait...I KNOW she was pissed off ***that bitch tried to control me! Do you know what it’s like to have your own head telling you all sorts of history that you shouldn’t know or even came close to giving a shit about?*** and Mystique was mean, but she always said it was because she cared. I think that’s true, she really cared about me in her own sorta way. She should really talk to you, if you’ll have her. I’m always an open mind and ear for anyone within reason -The “reason” part might be a problem.  So what’s your goal with those relationships? -I’m not a goals kinda gal.Where the wind blows, I’ll be there, good Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise. Unless I don’t wanna go, that is. Aaaaaand hence the name. There’s nothing wrong with riding the tide and going where nature follows, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with bucking a trend, either. But the balance of those two can get out of whack. It’s obvious to me that you have the ability to go wherever you please, but so many times, you’ve been the center of attention for others because of your talent. Why not take the impulsive energy and combine it with a modest bit of forethought and live the more comfortable, less stressful life that you deserve? - Believe it or not, Doc, I actually did have some good come out of all of that we were just talking about. Carol doesn’t hate me...not anymore. And when things are good with Mystique, we work well together. I’m not as dumb as you think I am just because my nature is to fight with whatever everybody says. *insulted* I NEVER thought that -Ah, there’s the flustered part that I always look for when I meet someone new. *pause* Touche. Now that you’ve made it clear you can create any social outcome you want, how much are you willing to focus on making them enjoyable for everyone involved?. -One thing at a time Shug, one thing at a time. We good here? -That we are. - Thanks for the chat, then. See ya ‘round. And if you ever do talk to mah mama, tell her I said hi. Well, maybe see how she reacts before bringin’ me up… could be a bad time for you... Ending (57:08) Recommended reading: Mr. & Mrs. X, Uncanny Avengers Next episodes: Dr. Doom, Jocasta, 5 from Umbrella Academy Review read - Justalittlepodcast - I just started listening, but I am hooked. Completely blown away. Such a great podcast that portrays mental health in a revolutionary way. The exploration and deep dive in comic book characters is fantastic. The conversations between these to gentlemen is refreshing, honest, and genuine.  Keep up the great work! Also I really enjoy the skits. Plugs for social References: Carol Danvers episode - Anthony (2:48) Mojo episode - Anthony (5:40) Severe combined immunodeficiency - Doc (20:40) Apple Podcasts: here Google Play: here Stitcher: here TuneIn: here iHeartRadio: here Spotify: here Twitter Facebook Patreon TeePublic Discord