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Alright alright alright, let's wrap this thing up, shall we? Bumblebee takes a little napplebee that deletes part of his brain, like we weren't 100% sure was the goal! Elita has taken our feedback into consideration and decided, actually, she doesn't want to use the stupid space bridge anyway. In the end, we're pretty positive that everyone on the Ark exploded and died. lms if u cry everytime Sorry for sliding in at the end here, but we're going to be on hiatus after this episode! Got some boring life things that take priority over podcasting for the time being. We'll be back! We're far from finished dunking on Optimus. Follow Joe (@CWTApod) and Kristen (@marinakazam) on Twitter! Email us at cwtapod@gmail.com with questions/comments! CWTA artwork by Madeline (@ignoretherobot) on Twitter.

Things are picking up, maybe? Megatron doesn't love that Ultra Magnus pulled one over on him by dying, and Shockwave has a cool new plan to... Let me check my notes, here.... Unilaterally destroy Cybertron's infrastructure in order to stop a secret that he knows nothing about? The Decepticons are making worse choices, sure, but they're still doing better than the Autobots. The war continues!!! Joe and Kristen take slight issue with Jetfire's extremely plot-convenient timing despite a near fatal butt injury, can't believe how bad Bumblebee's acting is, and continue not really understanding what the goal was for Elita. Follow Joe (@CWTApod) and Kristen (@marinakazam) on Twitter! Email us at cwtapod@gmail.com with questions/comments! CWTA artwork by Madeline (@ignoretherobot) on Twitter.

So, where were we? Ultra Magnus continues to have unknowable motives while the Decepticons really missed their chance to dig inside his computer-brain. Bumblebee inherits his... destin-bee? We kind of learn about Alpha Trion (sort of?) and some big old Transformers... gods, or something? Jetfire is a traitor and the search for the AllSpark is back on. What it does is still not 100% clear, but this is the plan we're going with. Sorry Elita! Better luck next time!! Follow Joe (@CWTApod) and Kristen (@marinakazam) on Twitter! Email us at cwtapod@gmail.com with questions/comments! CWTA artwork by Madeline (@ignoretherobot) on Twitter.

We're taking a quick break, back to the OG series! And, honestly, this one is complicated. I read the wiki page and I still don't totally know how the heck to summarize it. There are Insecticons! A predictable betrayal! Mind control! Antidote for..... robot... mind control? I miss when we were taking this lore way too seriously. Follow Joe (@cwtapod) and Kristen (@marinakazam) on Twitter! Email us at cwtapod@gmail.com with questions/comments! CWTA artwork by Madeline (@ignoretherobot) on Twitter.

Oh man! I know that guy! It's... Hound? NO, RACHET! I MEANT RACHET. Which one does the holograms again, Mirage, right? No? Oh jeez. You'd think Megatron would be over Ultra Magnus by now, but nah Shockwave has lots of tools in his torture belt so let's use them. First, electricity! Then, red electricity! Nice! He'll betray his friends in no time. We realize the series has an interesting take on the way former slaves are basically the same as fascists, and we finally talk about the space bridge. Where are Optimus and Elita always walkin' to? I can't stop wondering. Follow Joe (@CWTApod) and Kristen (@marinakazam) on Twitter! Email us at cwtapod@gmail.com with questions/comments! CWTA artwork by Madeline (@ignoretherobot) on Twitter. Check out Kristen's side project, ASMr/relationships, here!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/asmr-relationships/id1474592637

So, uh. I'll be honest, Ultra Magnus. I'm not sure what your plan was. There are equal amounts of brokering for peace and refusal to broker for peace. Jetfire thinks Megatron is too good for a brainwashing plan, Our Guy Shockwave shows up, and, oh man, it's Hound! I know him!! Not much happens but the robot fights ARE better paced, so we try not to complain that much. Good old fashioned death and destruction, fascism and flames. (Hey quick q, is that a Constructicon? No? Is that an Insecticon? No???? Where are the Dinobots?? More characters Kristen already knows, please.) Follow Joe (@CWTApod) and Kristen (@marinakazam) on Twitter! Email us at cwtapod@gmail.com with questions/comments! CWTA artwork by Madeline (@ignoretherobot) on Twitter. Check out Kristen's side project, ASMr/relationships, here!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/asmr-relationships/id1474592637

Whoa, what a pivot!! It never hurts to be a little more timely with your content, right? There's a new Tranformers series on Netflix and we decided to take a break to give it a little looksie! It turns out, having decades to refine your series generates a pretty cool result. So, now that we're masters of the original Transformers series (CITATION NEEDED), this reboot is right up our alley. Well.... Kind of? Bumblebee comes out of the gate with a way worse attitude and no affiliation! Skyfire is Jetfire! Jetfire is... the leader of the Seekers? All that, plus some lady robots with disappointing designs. And Wheeljack, man! Wheeljack!! You can't lose. Follow Joe (@CWTApod) and Kristen (@marinakazam) on Twitter! Email us at cwtapod@gmail.com with questions/comments! CWTA artwork by Madeline (@ignoretherobot) on Twitter. Check out Kristen's side project, ASMr/relationships, here!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/asmr-relationships/id1474592637

Mind-control is... unethical? Totally chill if you're a good guy? I never thought I'd say this, but man, poor Devastator goes through the wringer this episode. The Decepticons have been hiding a huge drill somewhere, and want the energy from the core of the Earth! There's just one problem, and her name is 'the planet will explode or something'. One thing leads to another, and the Constructicons get passed back and forth between teams while this happens. In the end, Devastator just plows through the Earth his own dang self. Now that I'm writing this, I'm realizing it's kind of hard to explain. Follow Joe (@awktapus) and Kristen (@marinakazam) on Twitter! Email us at cwtapod@gmail.com with questions/comments! CWTA artwork by Madeline (@ignoretherobot) on Twitter. Check out Kristen's side project, ASMr/relationships, here!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/asmr-relationships/id1474592637

Sometimes it's fun to throw logic out the window and just go NUTS, you know? Megatron has fine-tuned his creepy cloning technology, so let's talk about that! A weird plan to get all the autobots to drive into a ditch that will kill them gets too stupid for everyone involved! There's two Optimuses (Optimi?), and even the real one isn't smart enough to come up with a conclusive way to prove his identity. It's like that episode of Sailor Moon! Remember? You remember, right??? Follow Joe (@awktapus) and Kristen (@marinakazam) on Twitter! Email us at cwtapod@gmail.com with questions/comments! CWTA artwork by Madeline (@ignoretherobot) on Twitter. Check out Kristen's side project, ASMr/relationships, here!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/asmr-relationships/id1474592637

That is one ugly bird. We're getting weird again! So about that lady robot we all wanted? Well, she's evil AND she doesn't talk. How about that? This week we meet a famous scientists and Starscream has had just about enough of being bullied. Also Teletraan has.... a chip with.... all of the world's energy? In one easy-to-steal place?? I'm still not clear on how or why. Follow Joe (@awktapus) and Kristen (@marinakazam) on Twitter! Email us at cwtapod@gmail.com with questions/comments! CWTA artwork by Madeline (@ignoretherobot) on Twitter. Check out Kristen's side project, ASMr/relationships, here!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/asmr-relationships/id1474592637

I'm gonna be straight with you, I don't remember a single thing about this episode. I thought there was an invisibility ray involved, but that was Attack of the Autobots. I'll see what I can come up with. So, like. What if Face from Nick Jr. was evil and ugly? He'd be Megatron's friend, I guess. The Decepticons are still very easy to trick and this time it's an oil tanker plan. Also, here's a shot in the dark, the Autobots win at the end. Just guessing! Follow Joe (@awktapus) and Kristen (@marinakazam) on Twitter! Email us at cwtapod@gmail.com with questions/comments! CWTA artwork by Madeline (@ignoretherobot) on Twitter. Check out Kristen's side project, ASMr/relationships, here!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/asmr-relationships/id1474592637

I think a GI Joe or He-Man script got put into the wrong pile again. Okay, see if you can follow me here. The Decepticons find Sub-Atlantica and become frenemies with the fishmen. Megatron abandons a plan to steal energy mid-way through and Spike goes diving in a teeny tiny swimsuit. Joe can't answer why Soundwave is impossible to understand in this episode and Kristen gives this episode a 4/10 on the Starscream scale. Follow Joe (@awktapus) and Kristen (@marinakazam) on Twitter! Email us at cwtapod@gmail.com with questions/comments! CWTA artwork by Madeline (@ignoretherobot) on Twitter. Check out Kristen's side project, ASMr/relationships, here!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/asmr-relationships/id1474592637

Are you ready for... a vague competition between cars and trucks? The Autobots gets suckered into participating in a racetrack even for "charity" (aka Chip Chase's bank account) for two whole minutes, and it turns out the Decepticons have the perfect evil plan in place for the occasion! Joe and Kristen share a lot of questions and observations about tripods and sarlacc pits. This episode is mostly completely nonsense with the barest hint of an actual plot beneath. Some might even call it... suspiciously first draft-y? Follow Joe (@awktapus) and Kristen (@marinakazam) on Twitter! Email us at cwtapod@gmail.com with questions/comments! CWTA artwork by Madeline (@ignoretherobot) on Twitter. Check out Kristen's side project, ASMr/relationships, here!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/asmr-relationships/id1474592637

...Just bear with me while I resist making another tired Finger Eleven reference. Phew. Deep breath. Okay. It's time for another goofy invention episode! Wheeljack is back to his old trick-jacks, and basically makes a Medusa machine or something? Ironhide gets to mope around all day and, you'll never believe this, the Decepticons want to steal this new invention and use it against the Autobots. Joe likes how Bumblebee handles a tricky situation with a cop. Kristen meets her new-favorite-character-by-default. A girl! A girl with a name! Can you believe it? MIT-Certified Super Lady Genius Carly finally makes her debut. (How old is she, exactly...?) Follow Joe (@awktapus) and Kristen (@marinakazam) on Twitter! Email us at cwtapod@gmail.com with questions/comments! CWTA artwork by Madeline (@ignoretherobot) on Twitter. Check out Kristen's side project, ASMr/relationships, here!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/asmr-relationships/id1474592637

Are you ready for some conflict resolution? Just as Earth's energy problems are going to be forever solved (again), the Decepticons are there to cause trouble! Cliffjumper lives up to his name by cliff-JUMPING to conclusions, and hey, it's Mirage again! And... the Insecticons, I guess......... Joe's not sure how he feels about Optimus' response to repeated alarms regarding possible betrayal and Kristen can't even begin to fathom what kind of fabric that was on Skywarp's butt. Follow Joe (@awktapus) and Kristen (@marinakazam) on Twitter! Email us at cwtapod@gmail.com with questions/comments! CWTA artwork by Madeline (@ignoretherobot) on Twitter. Check out Kristen's side project, ASMr/relationships, here!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/asmr-relationships/id1474592637

Invisibility spray! Teletraan characterization! Breaking jets over your knee like a twig! There's a lot to take in this week. Megatron does some techno-nonsense to the recharging chamber and almost every single Autobot turns into a top class jerk for a little bit there. Are they better at being evil than the Decepticons? Ehhhh, I won't say no. Joe and Kristen have some questions about solving the entire world's energy problems and... oh man, wait. It's a female scientist! Dang, look at her run in that skirt and those heels! Also it's kind of a Jazz episode? Sort of. Follow Joe (@awktapus) and Kristen (@marinakazam) on Twitter! Email us at cwtapod@gmail.com with questions/comments! CWTA artwork by Madeline (@ignoretherobot) on Twitter. Check out Kristen's side project, ASMr/relationships, here!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/asmr-relationships/id1474592637

Okay, so remember movies? How about King Kong? Nice, then you already pretty much get this whole episode. Wonder how long the Decepticons have been squatting beneath Manhattan, and what the Autobots did on their way road trip over. There's some light body horror and heavy emphasis on floors breaking under the feet of these robots. Joe isn't sure the writers know what a cement truck's mixer does and Kristen still can't tell the Constructicons apart. Follow Joe (@awktapus) and Kristen (@marinakazam) on Twitter! Email us at cwtapod@gmail.com with questions/comments! CWTA artwork by Madeline (@ignoretherobot) on Twitter. Check out Kristen's side project, ASMr/relationships, here!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/asmr-relationships/id1474592637

Don't forget, we're going in production order! That means this week it's time to CHANGE GEARS or... whatever. Do you ever watch a cartoon and think "I don't think they even bothered to storyboard this"? Experience a non-stop series of confusing events and endless transitions. And, somewhere in there, our favorite character Gears 'turns nice' and almost helps Megatron explode the whole sun. Joe somehow doesn't notice the miners clearly dressed for their Blue Collar Worker of the Month calendar shoot and Kristen likes watching Starscream get slapped around. We are a simple podcast, with simple tastes. Follow Joe (@awktapus) and Kristen (@marinakazam) on Twitter! Email us at cwtapod@gmail.com with questions/comments! CWTA artwork by Madeline (@ignoretherobot) on Twitter. Check out Kristen's side project, ASMr/relationships, here!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/asmr-relationships/id1474592637

We're back! Ready to start season 2! Something nice and simple to ease the viewers into things should be nice, right? Spike, why won't you stop crying??? In this episode, Sparkplug has a little extra evil leftover in him from being brainwashed and the writers REALLY want you to know where their inspiration came from. Hey Optimus? You wanna maybe keep a better eye on your spiraling friend whose whole brain went bad? Joe Buster Bluths a lot and Kristen didn't expect legit body horror from a cartoon for children. Follow Joe (@awktapus) and Kristen (@marinakazam) on Twitter! Email us at cwtapod@gmail.com with questions/comments! CWTA artwork by Madeline (@ignoretherobot) on Twitter. Check out Kristen's new side project, ASMr/relationships, here!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/asmr-relationships/id1474592637

What a packed little episode! Joe and Kristen play some games, read some fanfic excerpts, and name all the Transformers so far. (Well, Kristen tries to. Don't expect much!) Feign surprise at our favorite characters and least favorite episodes. It's a season wrap-up! Different show, same old -tacuber. Follow Joe (@awktapus) and Kristen (@marinakazam) on Twitter! Email us at cwtapod@gmail.com with questions/comments! CWTA artwork by Madeline (@ignoretherobot) on Twitter. Check out Kristen's new side project, ASMr/relationships, here!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/asmr-relationships/id1474592637