Listen Now

This week I have an interview to share with you. While media has improved in the way it represents queer people, there are many groups of people still missing from the scene.  There are large areas of America that are not as devoid of queer life as it might seem. So today I'm chatting with my assistant. He chose to be queer in rural America. I hope you have as much fun getting to know him as I have. Enjoy. PS. If you need help in your business with things you'd just rather not do, he can help. Reach out.Get full show notes and more info here:https://coachalexray.com/podcast/95***About the new format & Discount Code***Thank you for being one of our awesome loyal listeners! I can't express how thankful I am for you.I can't wait to be back with you in the new year. The new format will include a lot more guests.If you have any topics or guest you would like to suggest, please email us at podcast@coachalexray.comAs a thank you for your support of the show, get 50% off your first month of the Confident Queer Membership. Just use code: PODCASTFAM*** * * *Get on the best email list for building your confidence, sign up and receive my free 21 Sassy Affirmations for ConfidenceBecome a Confident Queer Supporter and get a shout-out in the next episode!Instagram | TikTok

The holiday season is upon us. And with it, the stress of family dynamics. So let’s talk about it. I’ve got a framework that’ll make it much easier for you to set boundaries. Let’s make that difficult conversation with mom, dad, grandma, whoever a bit easier so you can clear that elephant out of the room and enjoy their company a bit more. Enjoy!Get full show notes and more info here:https://coachalexray.com/podcast/94 * * *Get on the best email list for building your confidence, sign up and receive my free 21 Sassy Affirmations for ConfidenceBecome a Confident Queer Supporter and get a shout-out in the next episode!Instagram | TikTok

Weather you're using social media to connect with people or as a way to make money, it's still requires you to put in labor.So how is this free labor affecting your overall "work load"?Can you spend time online without getting closer to burn out?And is the pressure to put on a show online eroding your authenticity?In this episode, we're exploring all that and more.If this is important to you, you're going to love the workshop I'm running called Off Stage.  We're going to actively work on managing the balance between on and off our social media stage.Sign up here for the Off Stage workshop.Get full show notes and more info here:https://coachalexray.com/podcast/93 * * *Get on the best email list for building your confidence, sign up and receive my free 21 Sassy Affirmations for ConfidenceBecome a Confident Queer Supporter and get a shout-out in the next episode!Instagram | TikTok

Today you get to meet my friend Chelsea Dickinson aka The Sabotage Queen. Every time we’ve FaceTimed we said, “why the heck did we not record this? People would PAY to listen in on our conversations! This shit is gold.” Sooooo now you do get to listen in, but for free! On today's episode we talk about how you should be more of a bitch on the internet, how to survive overwhelming amounts of attention, and how to set boundaries in the increasingly less private online world. It’s the unfiltered conversation you didn’t even know you needed to hear. Enjoy!Get full show notes and more info here:https://coachalexray.com/podcast/92 * * *Get on the best email list for building your confidence, sign up and receive my free 21 Sassy Affirmations for ConfidenceBecome a Confident Queer Supporter and get a shout-out in the next episode!Instagram | TikTok

Today we’re going to wrap up this series on sex work.   I’m going to talk about a particular experience I had while Gogo dancing.  (So being a gogo boy isn’t exactly sex work but it’s still in the erotic industry, and the lesson still applies.) We’re going to look at how trauma holds you back from accepting support. We have all had trauma, it’s part of being a human. We also all deserve support. So I'm going to shed some light on what happened to me and how I’ve been working through it. With all the love to you, enjoy.Get full show notes and more info here:https://coachalexray.com/podcast/91 * * *Get on the best email list for building your confidence, sign up and receive my free 21 Sassy Affirmations for ConfidenceBecome a Confident Queer Supporter and get a shout-out in the next episode!Instagram | TikTok

I’ve got another episode for you from the porn industry.   This time I talked to Nico Nova, a model with a mission.  I can’t wait for you to meet him. Nico understands that humans have a complicated relationship with themselves and shame gets in the way.  He is out here creating porn to help people feel less alone and less shame. Combining porn and self development?  I’m absolutely here for it. I think you’re going to love meeting Nico just as much as I did. Enjoy.Get full show notes and more info here:https://coachalexray.com/podcast/90 * * *Get on the best email list for building your confidence, sign up and receive my free 21 Sassy Affirmations for ConfidenceBecome a Confident Queer Supporter and get a shout-out in the next episode!Instagram | TikTok

This week I have another episode in our gay porn series. This time with performer and creator Kaden Gray. We got to talk about so much, from gender identity to shame and sex to therapy. Kaden is a powerful creator and an amazing human being. Let’s be honest, when you hear the label ‘porn star’ you immediately put the person in a box.  Kaden is here, breaking out of the box. Enjoy.Get full show notes and more info here:https://coachalexray.com/podcast/89 * * *Get on the best email list for building your confidence, sign up and receive my free 21 Sassy Affirmations for ConfidenceBecome a Confident Queer Supporter and get a shout-out in the next episode!Instagram | TikTok

We are in the middle of our gay porn series on the podcast, and this week I talked with Coach Nic. He is a Certified Somatic Sex Educator, Sexological Bodyworker and soooo much more. He’s an ex-priest who helps individuals heal sexual shame. And he supports models in the gay porn industry. This episode was so powerful. Coach Nic is a fabulous storyteller with a boat load of stories and amazing wisdom about sex and self-pleasure to share. This episode will get you comfortable and even excited to practice your own self pleasure, with or without a partner.Get full show notes and more info here:https://coachalexray.com/podcast/88 * * *Get on the best email list for building your confidence, sign up and receive my free 21 Sassy Affirmations for ConfidenceBecome a Confident Queer Supporter and get a shout-out in the next episode!Instagram | TikTok

Today is the beginning of a brand new series where I’m taking you behind the scenes of the gay porn industry. You heard me right. This week we kick off with Davey Wavey. You may remember him from his days as a YouTube star. Now Davey owns a gay porn site, and produces scenes like you’ve never heard of before in the industry. Peek behind the curtain with me today and take your self pleasuring to a whole new level.Get full show notes and more info here:https://coachalexray.com/podcast/87 * * *Get on the best email list for building your confidence, sign up and receive my free 21 Sassy Affirmations for ConfidenceBecome a Confident Queer Supporter and get a shout-out in the next episode!Instagram | TikTok

I want to introduce you to a concept that has been working really well for me and my clients lately. It’s a way to work with all the characters in your head, especially the ones you have shamed yourself for having (like your inner bitch). This method will help you handle difficult conversations, and make big decisions. It helped me work through my breakup. And it’s helped me draw boundaries with various business partners. Check it out.Get full show notes and more info here:https://coachalexray.com/podcast/86 * * *Get on the best email list for building your confidence, sign up and receive my free 21 Sassy Affirmations for ConfidenceBecome a Confident Queer Supporter and get a shout-out in the next episode!Instagram | TikTok

This week it’s time to get real.  Lots of us have been in that slow slide down towards a rock bottom, sometimes for years (and years…) while a part of us watches and wonders if this is all we get.  Today I’m going to talk about what I learned about myself through and after all that pain.  Pain can teach us.  How we respond to pain is something we can change, if we want to. I’m inviting you, this week, to consider how you want to respond to your own rock bottom.Get full show notes and more info here:https://coachalexray.com/podcast/85 * * *Get on the best email list for building your confidence, sign up and receive my free 21 Sassy Affirmations for ConfidenceBecome a Confident Queer Supporter and get a shout-out in the next episode!Instagram | TikTok

This week’s podcast is about the rubber hitting the road.  In some ways, kinda literally!  I keep talking about having your own back, so let’s talk about one way that can, and did, happen in my life. I really love to support my friends, sometimes showing up in support ends up being more than I have capacity for.  Then there is the decision to stay or go. This week we’re going to talk through how to make decisions for ourselves.  This isn’t easy but I’m here to tell you, making a decision on purpose supports everyone. You got this, promise.Get full show notes and more info here:https://coachalexray.com/podcast/84 * * *Get on the best email list for building your confidence, sign up and receive my free 21 Sassy Affirmations for ConfidenceBecome a Confident Queer Supporter and get a shout-out in the next episode!Instagram | TikTok

Today is a great day to talk about relationships.  In the movies and on TV, they all seem to just happen, as if by magic.  Two people in the right spot at the right time? Boom!  Done! There isn’t much we see, growing up or grown up about what it takes to be ready and actually available mentally and emotionally when that relationship does show up.  So I’m here, laying out what work I’ve done, and keep doing, to help this relationship thing happen. We’ve all got our own work to do, but let’s work together, we can get so much more done. 😘Get full show notes and more info here:https://coachalexray.com/podcast/83 * * *Get on the best email list for building your confidence, sign up and receive my free 21 Sassy Affirmations for ConfidenceBecome a Confident Queer Supporter and get a shout-out in the next episode!Instagram | TikTok

This week let’s be in the moment.  I’ve got a moment of calm for you, and a moment on the relationship between discomfort and what’s happening around us.   When we’re in the uncomfortable moments, all we want is calm and quiet.  Then it seems calm creates it’s own type of uncomfortable motivation to begin again.So let’s just take some space for being a messy human being.  It’s ok.  Whatever is happening right now, you’ve got this too.Get full show notes and more info here:https://coachalexray.com/podcast/82 * * *Get on the best email list for building your confidence, sign up and receive my free 21 Sassy Affirmations for ConfidenceBecome a Confident Queer Supporter and get a shout-out in the next episode!Instagram | TikTok

I was thinking about you and about how s*x is one of the hardest (pun intended?) places to really feel confident.  So I decided to tell you 3 totally embarrassing stories about my s*x life.I wanted you to know that I’m out here living this confidence thing, getting uncomfortable and living to tell all the tales.  I really wanted you to know, so you can learn to do it too. Or maybe you just want to hear some crazy s*x stories.  Either way.Enjoy! 😘🦄Get full show notes and more info here:https://coachalexray.com/podcast/81 * * *Get on the best email list for building your confidence, sign up and receive my free 21 Sassy Affirmations for ConfidenceBecome a Confident Queer Supporter and get a shout-out in the next episode!Instagram | TikTok

I’m so pleased to introduce you to my amazing friend and colleague Simone Seol! She is a marketing coach who walks the walk. And we had such a fun (and slightly anxiety inducing) conversation about the ways we’ve f***ed up and learned.Enjoy this conversation as we get a little naked, figuratively, and chat about our life and coaching experiences. Some of them were terrible and we’re not here to sugar coat it. And tomorrow tune in for a special bonus part two where Simone and I share how we are working on being the change we want to see in our industry.This is for coaches and people who are getting coaching too. Coaching is an amazing tool, but the industry has done a sucky job of valuing safety and consent. Simone and I are committed to changing that.Get full show notes and more info here:https://coachalexray.com/podcast/80-2 * * *Get on the best email list for building your confidence, sign up and receive my free 21 Sassy Affirmations for ConfidenceBecome a Confident Queer Supporter and get a shout-out in the next episode!Instagram | TikTok

I’m so pleased to introduce you to my amazing friend and colleague Simone Seol! She is a marketing coach who walks the walk. And we had such a fun (and slightly anxiety inducing) conversation about the ways we’ve f***ed up and learned.Enjoy this conversation as we get a little naked, figuratively, and chat about our life and coaching experiences. Some of them were terrible and we’re not here to sugar coat it. And tomorrow tune in for a special bonus part two where Simone and I share how we are working on being the change we want to see in our industry.This is for coaches and people who are getting coaching too. Coaching is an amazing tool, but the industry has done a sucky job of valuing safety and consent. Simone and I are committed to changing that.Get full show notes and more info here:https://coachalexray.com/podcast/80 * * *Get on the best email list for building your confidence, sign up and receive my free 21 Sassy Affirmations for ConfidenceBecome a Confident Queer Supporter and get a shout-out in the next episode!Instagram | TikTok

I have an amazing human to introduce you to this week.  My client, coach colleague, academic and fellow ADHDer, Jacy Tackett.   We started with hypocrisy, detoured through philosophy, got a little caught up with duality in coaching, cruzed around in sales processes and ended up with consent and so much more between.  It has been such a pleasure to be on her team and I’m thrilled to share her with you. We had so much fun together I had to split it up into two episodes.   Can’t wait to see you there.Get full show notes and more info here:https://coachalexray.com/podcast/79-2 * * *Get on the best email list for building your confidence, sign up and receive my free 21 Sassy Affirmations for ConfidenceBecome a Confident Queer Supporter and get a shout-out in the next episode!Instagram | TikTok

I have an amazing human to introduce you to this week.  My client, coach colleague, academic and fellow ADHDer, Jacy Tackett.   We started with hypocrisy, detoured through philosophy, got a little caught up with duality in coaching, cruzed around in sales processes and ended up with consent and so much more between.  It has been such a pleasure to be on her team and I’m thrilled to share her with you. We had so much fun together I had to split it up into two episodes.   Can’t wait to see you there.Get full show notes and more info here:https://coachalexray.com/podcast/79 * * *Get on the best email list for building your confidence, sign up and receive my free 21 Sassy Affirmations for ConfidenceBecome a Confident Queer Supporter and get a shout-out in the next episode!Instagram | TikTok

I have some story time for you this week.  We are headed back in time as we look at how this thing called relationship works, or doesn’t!The title is a giveaway so let’s cut to the chase, we broke up, of course.  Let’s chat about why and what I learned, all hanging out, with a bit of shade.  Mistakes were made, all over the place, on all sides.  That’s pretty normal, we all have our ‘stuff.’  The best part is we get to work on it, together.Much love to you.  I’ll see you there.Get full show notes and more info here:https://coachalexray.com/podcast/78 * * *Get on the best email list for building your confidence, sign up and receive my free 21 Sassy Affirmations for ConfidenceBecome a Confident Queer Supporter and get a shout-out in the next episode!Instagram | TikTok