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It’s the end of an era. Captains Cole and Claire are hanging up their various captain accoutrements and slowly walking into the sunset. We’ll wait while you grab your tissues… It’s been an amazing run so Cole and Claire decided to take a trip down memory lane and chat about how they got started, what the future holds, and regale you with stories about their walks in Astoria. *We can not thank you enough for joining us on this adventure. Until next time!

Pictures of puppies are needed to balance this week’s sadness nuggets. Cole and Claire never thought Putin would accept their invitation but when he did, there was no option but to visit the Museum of Tolerance. Ironically, Cole argues that Mario Lopez isn’t a “legitimate” person, rags on the fame bubble of Kevin Hart, and pushes Claire to exhaustion from his incessant questions. The theoretical hat is tipped to our science hero of today, Neil deGrasse Tyson but the mystery remains, who can we thank for bringing Neil to the pop culture lexicon. We need a forwarding address for our thank you note.

Did you guys know that Thursday is the best day for a birthday? It’s scientifically proven by our resident scientist, Claire. That’s just one of the nuggets dropped in this episode. Speaking of nuggets, it’s discovered that sadness is preferred in nuggets just like gold and chicken. Eyebrows were the inspiration for our party location, which will surprise no one that knows Claire. She was thrilled to have another eyebrow aficionado, Zachary Levi at the party. Stories were told, hopes were shared, and Cole and Claire realized the secret to their lasting 6 month relationship.

Ever heard of a shanty galleon or a galleon shanty? Cole put on his captain trousers and ferried the party to a conquistador’s galleon in 1716. The tensions rose with the arrival of 7 noted celebrities (Yes, Cole and Claire now consider themselves celebrities.) including the overall brilliance of Bill Murray, that we had a mild mutiny on our hands. Thanks be to Will Smith for proving he’s still in fighting shape. Only one question remains: where did F.Scott Fitzgerald get that cardboard cutout of Zelda? 

After avidly live tweeting the Emmys, we jumped in our time machine and picked up a few of our favorite September birthday nominees. With the Emmy winner Tony Hale in the captain’s chair, we took a trip to hang in Tony’s living room. He was the host with the most which included a globe that turned into a bar! In Cole and Claire’s recap, they chat about how Lily Tomlin knows how to “chill,” dead presidents, and how Timothy Olyphant can Get. It. Forever and always.

It was an absolute honor to host the great Amy Poehler at this week’s party adventure. We didn’t think it was possible but we actually fell in love with her even more. Our second Amy, Winehouse, did a bang up job of keeping sober and showing us the light. David Copperfield and Lance Armstrong kept things on our suspicious theme and Adam West didn’t bring much to the table, honestly. We love him anyway. He plays himself in a cartoon for heaven’s sake. 

This week we played flashlight tag in the haunted Waverly Hills Sanatorium. The Holiday Season thought it was a great episode to sponsor since the secondary theme was death. After all the fun, we realized our guests Jocelyn Wildenstein and Karl Lagerfeld were more frightening than all of the ghosts present. Cole and Claire want to thank P!nk and Ludacris for keeping the energy up. And Hugh Grant for just being a charming bloke. 

Keanu Reeves takes Pippa Middleton tubing on the chocolate river, Cole and Dr. Drew go for a walk, and Claire chats with Beyonce about just how crazy Terry Bradshaw is. We talk politics, Ashley Madison, nipples, the end of summer and the lifestyle of Oompa Loompas. 

We took our guests to the pages of Shel Silverstein’s classic, The Giving Tree. The 2 dimensional world was enjoyed by all except for the perpetually confused Regis Philbin. This episode includes Cole and Claire doing master impressions of their guests Regis & Luis Guzman, discussion of how annoying Jamie Foxx must be, and continual plugs of our sponsor POD. Other guests include Billy Ray Cyrus, John McCain, and Cameron Diaz. 

Claire and Cole had an incident on their way back from San Diego this week and got caught in the Time Machine. With the help of their guests soon-to-be-First-Husband Bill Clinton, style icon Coco Channel, folk hero Davy Crockett, leather lover Robert Redford, and lady lover Wilt Chamberlain, they were able to get back in time for a late post. “Heathens” was this week’s sponsor and I think we’ll all agree, they’re a delight. 

We take Hulk Hogan, Annie Oakley, Steve Martin, Julia Child and James Cameron all the way up to the top of Devil's Tower in Wyoming. We tell you a secret about PeeWee Herman and Hulk Hogan. It's worth it. 

Tom Brady, Martha Stewart (still in her prison poncho), Billy Bob Thorton, Andy Warhol, and Ginger Spice all jump on the Birthday Party Time Machine and head to Atlantis for this week's podcast. 

This week we take Jerry "Cherry" Garcia, Coolio, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mark Cuban, and Jacqueline Kenndy Onassis on a journey to set of David Lean's brilliant 1962 film "Lawrence Of Arabia". Arnold and Jacky O had some words. 

We had sex talk, bongo playing, and the murder of a buffalo by the hand of Helen Mirren this week on our “spicy” trip to the Lewis & Clark trail of 1805. Other guests included Billy Mays, Jennifer Lopez, Mick Jagger, and cohost favorite, Woody Harrelson. 

Cole Cook and Claire Burns host a weekly comedy podcast where they bring five famous people to an exotic location and have a communal birthday party.  Comedy ensues.  #LetsTimeMachine

Cole Cook and Claire Burns pilot a time machine and host a weekly birthday party for five famous people who have birthdays in the same week.  For the premiere, we doubled our guest list. This week's birthday girls and birthday boys are Francis McDormand, Solange Knowles, Ricky Gervais, George Orwell, Michael Vick, Elon Musk, Clarence Thomas, Helen Keller, Gilda Radner & Carson Daly.  #LetsTimeMachine