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In this Beyond story, we revisit one of our earlier conversations with master healer Artie Wu to help us bring to life the liminal stage in our personal transformation pattern. I know this stage well, and I was able to recognize when I was in it, and how I created a vision board to let my soul guide my next big move in life. I'm sharing instructions on how to make yours and that exact vision board on the https://bellystory.com/s3e7 (website). Recognizing the threshold isn't a new idea. I've selected a poem that may connect to your soul from ancient Persian mystic, Rumi. We read poems dedicated to our listeners instead of advertising shills. Our stories are personal, designed for you to hear pieces of your own true nature reveal itself in every story. Wisdom for our Soul, Courage for your Journey. In Belly, we share our extraordinary life stories of personal transformation to let you know that you're not alone in yours and to inspire you to embrace every ounce of it. And Beyond stories helps us see the big picture, comprehending the patterns coming up. SHOULDER UP WITH US - 100% Advertising Free Your podcast is a safe and judgement free space. It's free of advertising and outside influence -- 100% listener powered. We dedicate a poem to folks in our community shouldering up with us. Consider a $5 donation at https://www.bellystory.com/support/ (BellyStory.com/support). Thank you for listening. I hope you're able to hear something meaningful. Warmly, David All Creator, Storyteller, Producer CO-CREATE OUR PODCAST To submit your extraordinary personal life story or to sign-up for new episode emails visit: https://www.bellystory.com/ (BellyStory.com)

In this very personal Beyond story, I wanted to share why it's so important to me that this podcast is not for sale. Why it matters that you, dear listeners and neighbors of the world, have a safe, judgement free space to listen, and notice what comes up. To do that, I take you back through my own pattern of storytelling; how I learned to tell stories by listening deeply to others tell theirs. Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh shares that listening to others, with compassion and without offering advice or actions, is itself a healing instrument that the world needs now. Our stories are personal, designed for you to hear pieces of your own true nature reveal itself in every story. Wisdom for our Soul, Courage for your Journey. In Belly, we share our extraordinary life stories of personal transformation to let you know that you're not alone in yours and to inspire you to embrace every ounce of it. And Beyond stories helps us see the big picture, comprehending the patterns coming up. ENABLE OUR MISSION - 100% Advertising Free Your podcast is a safe and judgement free space. It's free of advertising and outside influence -- 100% listener supported. It's not on the market, it's not for sale. A podcast where you can listen and hear what's coming up. We dedicate a poem to folks in our community shouldering up with us. Crossing the line, letting us know that we're heard with a $5 donation at https://www.bellystory.com/support/ (BellyStory.com/support). Thank you for listening. I hope you're able to hear something meaningful. Warmly, David All Creator, Storyteller, Producer CO-CREATE OUR PODCAST To submit your extraordinary personal life story, to sign-up for new episode email updates, to contact us or support our mission with a donation, visit: https://www.bellystory.com/ (BellyStory.com)

In this special New Year's Beyond story, David All looks deeper into the meaning of that sweet, familiar song, Auld Lang Syne, a poem attributed to Scotland's national poet, Robert Burns. Before you turn the page and burn the book on 2020, turn around and remember the 'Good old days' and all those days in between. Wisdom for our Soul, Courage for your Journey. In Belly, we share our extraordinary life stories of personal transformation to illustrate the nature of personal transformation. Beyond helps us go beyond personal stories to comprehend the overall pattern of transformation. ENABLE OUR MISSION Your podcast is a sacred space and judgment free zone. It's free of advertising and outside influence -- 100% listener supported. A podcast where you can feel safe to listen and know that you're not alone. Transformation is scary, but not a single butterfly has ever attempted to climb back into the cocoon. To keep us advertising free and support our mission to heal, inspire and shape lives with extraordinary personal life stories, chip-in $5 a month at https://www.bellystory.com/support/ (BellyStory.com/support). Thank you for listening. Warmly, David All Creator, Storyteller, Producer CO-CREATE OUR PODCAST To submit your story, sign-up for new episode emails, contact us or support our mission with a donation, visit: https://www.bellystory.com/ (BellyStory.com)

Corey Cepeda's transformation to become a better man didn't happen overnight, but that journey did begin one night in a jail cell long ago. That night, on his knees on the coldest concrete floor in an intimate jail cell, he committed to ending his rough lifestyle, a typical example in the pattern of fatherlessness led him there. In the darkness of that oubliette, his soul noticed the light - his decision to forge checks meant that he would miss his first daughter's baptism. A kenshō moment where he glimpsed his true nature and like a seed that can't be unplanted, would change him forever. He grabbed the Bible, dropped to his knees, and started his process of transformation by surrendering. And asking for forgiveness from a higher power. Corey's determination and commitment to changing his life is an inspiring story of personal realization, clear awareness, and what it really takes to climb up a better man.   OUR STORY Hey there, welcome to Season 3 of https://www.BellyStory.com/s3e3 (Belly of the Beast Life Stories with David All).  This third season of life is a rare collection of stories of men that grew up without a biological father around. It's helping me comprehend my own life story of fatherlessness, and showing folks that it's a pattern worth breaking to be a better man. At some point during this season, I'll share my own belly story, but until then, good men like Corey are standing for all of us to share their story, to inspire us and give us courage to reveal our own true nature. That's the purpose of this podcast as I comprehend it today: Wisdom for our Soul -- Courage for your Journey. This is your podcast for extraordinary personal life stories. Each story illustrates the nature of personal transformation. A change that forced us down into the dark, gooey stage of life where we found our purpose and climbed up a new person. ENABLE OUR MISSION Your podcast is a sacred space and judgment free zone. It's free of advertising and outside influence -- 100% listener supported. A podcast where you can feel safe to listen and know that you're not alone. Transformation is scary, but not a single butterfly has ever attempted to climb back into the cocoon. To keep us advertising free and support our mission to heal, inspire and shape lives with extraordinary personal life stories, chip-in $5 a month at https://www.bellystory.com/support/ (BellyStory.com/support). Thank you for listening. Warmly, David All Creator, Storyteller, Producer   CO-CREATE OUR PODCAST To submit your story, sign-up for new episode emails, contact us or support our mission with a donation, visit: https://www.bellystory.com (BellyStory.com)

At first glance, you might wonder why Christian Long, a man with multiple fathers, would be featured in a series on fatherlessness. Good question. It’s true that Christian has a biological father, but he was out of the picture before Christian was three years old and only emerged again when Christian was 25. Christian also had three stepfathers (and three different last names.) Thanks to his wife, he has a father-in-law… So there is no shortage of fathers in his life. What’s missing, though, was a dad – a safe, constant male figure in his life. The story of Christian’s father-void is still not over. At age 50, he’s still processing how his experience of fatherlessness has affected his temperament, his fears, and his relationships – especially his relationship with his own children. As he reflects, a deep, raw honesty emerges. It’s real. It’s is a place of acceptance. And it’s hopeful. By the way, here's a link to Christian's poem, "https://thinklab.typepad.com/becketttobe/2009/02/contextberkeley-to-be-countdown-less-than-a-month-to-goimaginingit-starts-like-spring-lambs-wool-caresses-papaim-im.html (Imagining)," that we discuss in the story. OUR STORY Hey there, welcome to Season 3 of Belly of the Beast Life Stories. I’m David All. It’s another season of life here at the podcast. This third season is a very rare collection of stories by men who share the golden thread of growing up with an absent biological father and broke the pattern to be a good man. I’ll be sharing my own Belly story later this season. And let me tell you that a year ago, when we launched this show, I didn’t realize this was my Belly story. Wisdom for our Soul -- Courage for your Journey. Extraordinary life stories illustrate the nature of personal transformation. A change that forced us down into the dark, gooey stage of life where we found our purpose and climbed up a new person. Our podcast has a purpose — a mission to heal, inspire and shape lives with extraordinary life stories. Stand with us — Visit BellyStory.com to share your story, listen and subscribe, sign-up for episode updates and chip-in, and enable our mission.   EPISODE SUMMARY Part I - Christian reflects on having multiple fathers -- stepfathers and a biological father –- yet he had a dad-void. - Christian’s childhood memories of his biological father are so few, whatever in-person memories exist happened at or before the age of two. - Christian’s first stepfather insisted on adopting him. Years later, Christian realized the adoption was not based on love for him as a child; it was nothing more than a negotiation, a poker move of sorts. - Once a year, Christian visited his paternal grandparents, and once while he was there, he spoke with his father on the phone, though at the time, he didn’t know who he was. - Anger, often suppressed or masquerading as sarcasm, has been a constant companion of Christian’s. - The threat of violence from his stepfather left Christian on edge, scared, and looking for outlets away from home. - Christian describes a difficult time in his marriage when he moved out for a couple of months and how the responsibility he felt as a father helped pull him back home. Part II - Christian shares why he believes his children are what held his marriage together through a rocky time. - Christian reflects on the lines of a poem he wrote for his daughter, Berkeley. - Christian articulates why feeling love is so difficult. - Christian describes the work of healing from being fatherless. - Christian describes his online community of men who choose to be honest and vulnerable with one another. Part III - In some ways, Christina feels like he’s just beginning -- just beginning to discover himself, to feel. It’s never too late to start. QUOTABLES “The first thing that Christian said to me about his story was that it might not be a good fit for this season, because he still feels the deep wound of fatherlessness.” “The idea...

As with so many children in the world today, Leonardo Lightbourne (L.T. Bourne) grew up with an absent father. Watching from the window as his father drove away left L.T. feeling confused and heartbroken. As he grew, he became a people-pleaser, trying to win the favor of others so that they wouldn’t abandon him. This led to a lack of boundaries and some bad decisions.   Thankfully, L.T.’s best friend’s father served as a mentor and a positive influence in his life. Without his encouragement and guidance, L.T. is doubtful that he would be where he is today.   Upon completing university, he struggled to find employment...for months. He felt like a failure. During this low point of his life, L.T. began journaling, realized that he was suffering from parental abandonment issues, and he determined to work through them.   From there, his book, https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Mans-World-conquered/dp/1733116117/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=it%27s+not+a+man%27s+world&qid=1603991902&sr=8-2 ( It’s Not a Man’s World: How I conquered the Sins of My Father), was born.   L.T.’s journey is full of lessons about boundaries, surrender, forgiveness, and empowerment. His story is a message of hope, of embracing your life right where you are, and of taking responsibility for your own narrative, no matter how rocky your start may have been.   → OUR STORY   Hey there, welcome to Season 3 of https://bellystory.com (Belly of the Beast Life Stories). I’m David All.   It’s another season of life here at the podcast. This third season is a very rare collection of stories by men who share the golden thread of growing up with an absent biological father and broke the pattern to be a good man. I’ll be sharing my own Belly story later this season. And let me tell you that a year ago, when we launched this show, I didn’t realize this was my Belly story.   Wisdom for our Soul -- Courage for your Journey. Extraordinary life stories illustrate the nature of personal transformation. A change that forced us down into the dark, gooey stage of life where we found our purpose and climbed up a new person.   Our podcast has a purpose — a mission to heal, inspire and shape lives with extraordinary life stories. Stand with us — Visit https://bellystory.com (BellyStory.com) to share your story, listen and subscribe, sign-up for episode updates and chip-in, and enable our mission.   → EPISODE SUMMARY   Part I - L.T. remembers the day his father left. He was just a child. There was an argument with his grandmother; his mother was crying; and then his father drove away as L.T. watched from the window. - He knew his father was only 10 minutes away, yet he never came to visit. - L.T. felt like he must have done something wrong. This led to him developing a people-pleasing personality. - Watching family sitcoms on TV showed L.T. that he was missing something in his life, that something was lacking in his family structure. - Father’s Day was especially difficult. Having to go to church and witness the celebration of happy father-child relationships was like pouring salt in a wound. - His own birthday was difficult to celebrate too. He felt like his birth must have been a mistake. Why should he celebrate his parents’ mistake? - Thankfully, L.T.’s best friend had an intact family, and his friend’s father became a mentor and father-figure to L.T.. He nurtured and encouraged L.T.. He even let him sit in on some lectures he gave his own son. - After university, it would be months before L.T. would land a job. He felt like a failure.   Part II - During that time of unemployment, L.T. started journaling. Through his writings, he recognized he had parental rejection issues he needed to work through. The book idea was born. - Writing his story helped L.T. drop the people-pleasing. Telling his story “gave me back my power as a man.” - Wisdom comes through pain. And telling our...

In this Beyond story, David All brings to life the concept of fatherfullness by telling Joe Biden’s personal story of choosing the role and responsibility of fatherhood over all else, including his own ambitions in his career of public service. Wisdom for our Soul, Courage for your Journey. In Belly, we share our extraordinary life stories of personal transformation to illustrate the nature of personal transformation. Beyond helps us go beyond personal stories to comprehend the overall pattern of transformation. Stay tuned for Season 3 of Belly where we’re sharing real stories of men growing up with an absent biological father and the impact this has on their life. Fatherlessness, the antithesis of fatherfullness, is the golden thread marking a childhood of grief, anger, and missteps, it’s a difficult pattern to break out of. But for David and these other men, we see a transformation from the adult boy to the man. A climb up from being born in the hole is the overall pattern of each of these stories. These are extraordinary stories you need to hear. ENABLE OUR MISSION Your podcast is a sacred space and judgment free zone. It's free of advertising and outside influence -- 100% listener supported. A podcast where you can feel safe to listen and know that you're not alone. Transformation is scary, but not a single butterfly has ever attempted to climb back into the cocoon. To keep us advertising free and support our mission to heal, inspire and shape lives with extraordinary personal life stories, chip-in $5 a month at https://www.bellystory.com/support/ (BellyStory.com/support). Thank you for listening. Warmly, David All Creator, Storyteller, Producer CO-CREATE OUR PODCAST To submit your story, sign-up for new episode emails, contact us or support our mission with a donation, visit: https://www.bellystory.com/ (BellyStory.com)

Welcome to our third season of Belly of the Beast Life Stories. Growing up with an absent biological father has a particular impact on men. In Fatherlessness, I’ll tell you stories of men that share this experience.  A golden thread marking a childhood of grief, anger, and missteps; a difficult pattern to break out of. But for these men, a transformation from the adult boy to the man. Their climb up from being born in the hole — that’s the overall pattern of each of these stories. ENABLE OUR MISSION Your podcast is a sacred space and judgment free zone. It's free of advertising and outside influence -- 100% listener supported. A podcast where you can feel safe to listen and know that you're not alone. Transformation is scary, but not a single butterfly has ever attempted to climb back into the cocoon. To keep us advertising free and support our mission to heal, inspire and shape lives with extraordinary personal life stories, chip-in $5 a month at https://www.bellystory.com/support/ (BellyStory.com/support). Thank you for listening. Warmly, David All Creator, Storyteller, Producer CO-CREATE OUR PODCAST To submit your story, sign-up for new episode emails, contact us or support our mission with a donation, visit: https://www.bellystory.com/ (BellyStory.com)

This informational bonus episode covers a few key adjustments we're making: 1. Originally our theme for Season 3 focused on exploring the transformations in personal stories of folks that have faced the criminal justice system. With COVID, it's not safe to take this issue on the way we envision, so we're shifting. 2. The new theme for Season 3 will be a collection of personal stories by men. We'll explore the grieving and transformation in manhood by men that grew up fatherless. 3. We are merging 'Beyond the Belly' into this podcast, offering one stronger podcast with two distinct, but related streams of content. We'll re-release Beyond Episodes 1-3 in case you missed them. ENABLE OUR MISSION Your podcast is a sacred space and judgment free zone. It's free of advertising and outside influence -- 100% listener supported. A podcast where you can feel safe to listen and know that you're not alone. Transformation is scary, but not a single butterfly has ever attempted to climb back into the cocoon. To keep us advertising free and support our mission to heal, inspire and shape lives with extraordinary personal life stories, chip-in $5 a month at https://www.bellystory.com/support/ (BellyStory.com/support). Thank you for listening. Warmly, David All Creator, Storyteller, Producer CO-CREATE OUR PODCAST To submit your story, sign-up for new episode emails, contact us or support our mission with a donation, visit: https://www.bellystory.com/ (BellyStory.com)

Ashley Wayne shares her story of facing down her fear of being blind and becoming a mother. And now, she has two blind children and a newborn.   EPISODE SUMMARY  Part I The gift of sight was always seen as a luxury to Ashley up until this moment She’s days from going to get her daughter in Bulgaria, the international adoption nearly realized In these early moment, a blind woman confronts being a blind mama to her blind daughter Ashley was blind at birth, two detached retinas, not even a perception of light The darkness hadn’t slowed her down, but the simple everyday tasks of changing diapers or taking her to a friend’s house to play seemed insurmountable “It was scary; when you’re suddenly put in charge of another human being it’s very sobering" Parenting brought her to her knees, Ashley had to realize it was OK to ask for help   Part II Ashley had spent a lifetime being independent, and thriving, as a blind person But the realities of being a mother changed her perception She shifted her mindset Day by day, Ashley was successful at doing the little things and life started to return to normal Normal enough to begin (and finish) the process of adopting their blind son, who had Cerebral Palsy Faith is everything to Ashley, and she elaborates on this fundamental aspect of her life A Grand Canyon experience through a blind families eyes Blind people don’t have superpowers like exceptional hearing Ashley has to be extremely present to experience special moments with her family 4-weeks ago, Ashley birthed her first biological son, that appears to be fully sighted Ashley still yearns to see, especially the little things like seeing what her infant is looking at and being fascinated by   Part III Ashley shares advice to her younger self just as she’s about to take on motherhood She writes a lot about the distancing she and her family experience being blind (see articles in the guest resources section) and urges folks just to treat them normal   QUOTABLES "It was a very emotional time. I remember as it got closer, feeling this immense weight and wondering, am I really going to be able to take care of her? I had done a lot of things as a blind person that I think many people would imagine would be pretty difficult.  But parenting felt like it was going to be this much more insane and immense task. And I really didn't know if I could do it, but we had obviously committed and were going to adopt her."  "And I didn't need sight, and I could get along just fine without it, and almost to the detrimental extreme of that end, you know, believing that sight wasn't necessary, and I was an amazing blind person who could do anything [Laughter]. I didn't need anyone's help, especially help from those the sighted people.  I think parenting really did bring me to my knees, figuratively and literally sometimes, just the realization that sight is a gift, and it would be not just nice to have, but would be preferred in a lot of cases when it comes to parenting, and that it was OK to admit that."  "You know, every little task, like I kind of dreaded every diaper change, like, am I going to get her clean enough?"  "You realize that things weren't quite as intense or frightening as I had originally thought. It doesn't mean that I still didn't need help or things weren't frustrating at points. But it began to feel less and less alien and yeah, just a bit more normal."  Regarding faith… “It’s everything. It's what I hope to... We hope and strive for, to teach our children that there is a God. And it's, we can know him through Christ."  "I've always had to rely more on my hearing. And just to dispel a myth, because I always have to take any opportunity to mention this, you know, blind people don't have super hearing."  Advice to a younger Ashley… "You will figure it out. Yeah, you'll make some mistakes, but nothing so horrible that neither you or...

Mathew Passy’s 4-month old daughter was diagnosed with bacterial meningitis, a rare but treatable disease, bringing immediacy to the role and responsibility of fatherhood.  EPISODE SUMMARY Part I •The story opens with Mathew and his wife taking their 4-month old daughter, Hailey, into the hospital with a fever that was later diagnosed as bacterial meningitis •Meningitis is a rare disease caused by viral or bacterial infection that moves into the cerebral spinal fluid and swells the thin membranes that cover the brain and the spinal cord •This meant that Hailey would be in the hospital for two weeks for treatment •Mathew had just started a new business •Mathew and his wife took turns being at the hospital •On his first night, his daughter has a seizure in his arms for an hour •This event “knocked” Mathew "for a loop" •He describes this moment as bringing the preciousness of life into immediacy; a scary experience where his mind was racing •A self-described “control person,” not having control of the situation was hard •Although not a “religious person,” Mathew wondered if he was being “punished"  •Mathew had a lot of fear about the health of his daughter, but also whether or not his business would survive  •This experience matured Mathew; from being an “older kid with kids” to a father responsible for a family   Part II •We learn more about how the experience changed Mathew •Hailey was released from the hospital but every time she cried or had a slight fever, Mathew and his wife were on the phones with the doctors •Mathew’s clients didn’t abandon him, in fact, they validated his “family first” decision and are still with him to this day •Being an entrepreneur has given Mathew more time to spend with his family and he has barriers, like stopping work at the end of the day to make dinner and spend the evening with the kids •Setting the health scare aside, Mathew wouldn’t take this experience back because he’s a better dad now   Part III •Mathew shares his advice to his younger self •Mathew now has a sense of calm in any situation knowing that he has what it takes to get through it because he’s doing it for them   QUOTABLES "And then to be in the situation in the hospital where something has to be done and you either can't get answers, or have no control over it, is so hard."  "And because I had just started my own business, I didn't really have a ton of money coming in, every dollar counted. And we had just bought the house earlier that year, so it felt like it could all just crumble very, very quickly, and the life that we were projecting to lead, just felt like it could have been snatched from us at any second."  "I think I was hyper-focused on Hailey and her care."  "I think this whole experience matured me. These are really fully matured, responsible adults and I'm sure to a lot of people that sounds like a bunch of nonsense, but it just changed me, and just made me realize that I can't go back to pretending I'm a kid anymore, that my life is now all about them, and providing, and setting an example and ensuring that they are prepared for the world."  "But my wife and I took control of the situation. And we...  you know, we dictated the terms. We had the plan. We were the ones who got through it and figured it out and and made sure that all the decisions were going through us, and it it no longer felt like we still needed our parents in the room to help us."  "Every time she had a fever, every time she cried that felt a little bit off kilter, we were on the phone with doctors."  "I wouldn't take it back. I think I'm probably a better Dad. I think I'm probably a more present Dad. More appreciative."  "But I also have this overwhelming sense of calm that just says, "You got this. Whatever this means, whatever they're throwing at you, you'll figure it out. You'll find the solution because it's what you have to do, and

Lorna Rose was three-months pregnant when a routine blood test revealed a genetic disorder in her unborn child which carried a high risk of miscarriage at any point in the pregnancy. The daily grieving led to finding her voice as a poet and writer. EPISODE SUMMARY  Part I As an older mother, Lorna had a blood test three-months into her pregnancy to screen for any potential problems  The test came back positive for a genetic disorder, Turner’s Syndrome Lorna lives in a smaller town in the state of Washington, and the medically complex cases are sent to a larger hospital in Seattle In the week between the initial diagnosis and the first appointment in Seattle, Lorna wrote a powerful poem, "http://www.literarymama.com/poetry/archives/2017/10/congratulations-2.html (Congratulations!)” She describes that week turning to grief almost immediately and even thinking that it could be best to miscarry so that the child wouldn’t have "special needs" Lorna and her husband went to Seattle for the appointment and had a deep ultrasound which did not show any markers of Turner’s Syndrome  Lorna went back three other times for the ultrasound and they never saw markers for Turner’s - this gave Lorna confidence that it would be a mild case of Turner's Anger, sadness, anxiety, you name it, Lorna felt those emotions all mashed together and intentionally sat with those feelings Having her son, who was 2.5 years old at the time, was helpful knowing that he was healthy Lorna would “hide her bump,” not even wanting people to know she was pregnant Lorna shares the critical insight that she had to live in “both worlds,” one where she could dream about a full life with her child, and the other hardened in the reality that it might not work out Miraculously, Lorna’s daughter was born healthy - the Turner’s Syndrome diagnosis was a false positive   Part II After six-months of believing that her daughter could miscarry, she was born healthy with no signs of any genetic abnormalities Lorna is speechless, so much “wow,” and relief, and crying in her family with joy in this moment Lorna wanted to feel ok for having every emotion, including feeling guilty, or even wishing that she would miscarry, and she wrote a lot about the experience and life in general Through her writing, Lorna felt connected to other women who had gone through the same experience Lorna is thankful for the experience in the sense that it helped her find her writing  Lorna sheds a tear thinking back to the “Golden Hour” first hour with her child and their special connection Lorna can’t undo the experience but recognizes that through it, she gained empathy and a connection to women who have gone through similar experiences Pregnancy is complex and doesn’t always end up like it does in the movies and Lorna is hopeful that her writings will help bring the conversation into the light There’s a mold for pregnancy that it’s all a happy, shiny story but things can go wrong and women need to know it’s okay and ordinary   Part III Lorna found her voice (poetry, writing) in the six darkest months of her life Her daughter is almost five years old now, and loves hearing stories, especially the story of her being born Lorna reflects on this weird, dark, strange time in her life and notes that it brought her and her husband closer because they went through it together This piece of advice shows up time and time again in our stories: Don’t Google it Lorna gives advice to her younger self   QUOTABLES  "But the result that was most devastating for me was Turner's carried a high risk of miscarriage at any point in the pregnancy. We just we didn't know anything for a week. And that's when I started that poem."  "I think I was in shock for a few days and then it turned to: how do I do this? Like, how do people get through this? I don't know, it was kind of like walking on eggshells, because I just... we didn't know anything. And

Kip Morse's first daughter, Allison, was diagnosed with Down syndrome at birth and later, autism. Tremendous behavioral issues forced him into being the family's peacekeeper. Now he's finally finding peace as his daughter realizes her purpose. To me, Kip has been a mentor and the leading example of a father’s impenetrable love for his daughter. The father of three daughters and husband to Leslie for more than 30 years, he was forced into being the servant leader of the family. Many times breaking it up and standing between his daughter and the rest of the family when things got out of control. And now, as his daughter finds her own way and purpose, relief and reconnection. At the time we recorded this story, Kip was the president and CEO of the Better Business Bureau of Central Ohio which has been a client of mine for the past several years. He's now the CEO of the IABBB. EPISODE SUMMARY We open our story at the breaking point for Kip and the entire family, including his oldest daughter, Alison. It’s Alli’s last night before she starts her journey away from the family. Tears streaming, mom and dad taking turns in the room with Alli, neighbors coming over to say bye, and even Alison is aware that her next move is the right move. At birth, Alli was diagnosed with Down syndrome, a crucial moment that forced the family to move back to Columbus, Ohio away from Florida In time, they realized that Alli’s Down syndrome was not typical, her behavior was extremely challenging Temper tantrums, lying on the floor of the supermarket, throwing things, taking his wife Leslie to the ground, pulling hair...  Later Alli was diagnosed with autism There was no local solution -- institutionalizing Alli was not ever an option The behavior caused a riff between Alli and the family Finally, they found a solution for Alli a few hours away in Cleveland - her behavior would not be an issue to the caregivers (Monarch Center for Autism) Alli went to Monarch and Kip and Leslie drove up every single weekend for two years The separation gave Kip and Leslie a chance to work on their relationship and the relationship with the other two daughters Kip realized that he had been enabling Alli’s behavior, in a way “Boy, it’s hard to get it right when you’re going through it.” Stress caught up with Kip - he nearly had a heart attack Being independent brought the fun and joy of Alli back A few years later, Alli came back to Columbus under the care of Ability Matters Looking back, Kip is glad he didn’t know what was ahead of him in life when his daughter was diagnosed with Down syndrome It’s purpose that lights Alli up the most these days -- that same truth has translated into the business world, as well   QUOTABLES “I recall it vividly because it was constantly having communications with my daughter and my wife, and consoling one another, and tears streaming down our faces. And it was this realization that, you know, twenty-three years of trying to get Allison to be at a point where she was happy, and she was independent, and where she could live a life with with a strong self-esteem and and purpose. And we hadn't gotten there, and it wasn't within our control anymore. Your sisters all are in an apartment," and you'd see her brighten up because she wants to be just like her sisters. And so there's constantly those ups and downs with the understanding.”  “And so I rushed back, and that's when the doctor came in and said, "You know, we see signs that she has... she was born with Down syndrome." And you don't know anything about that. You just know you're just looking at your new baby girl with total love and devotion. And so, yeah, we were just kind of stunned. You know, you don't know what to what to think.”  “And so the diagnosis went from Down syndrome to all of these leading up to pervasive developmental disorder, which was kind of the interim period of time before they finally said that autism is such a vast...

Rachel Poysky shares her Belly story of raising two children with rare diseases. Her greatest fears about the health of her son, Joel, were affirmed when she pulled into the driveway and her husband was waiting for her with news. Her husband, Dr. James Poysky, delivered the grave news that their son did in fact have Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD). DMD is the most common fatal genetic disorder of childhood and it likely meant that their son wouldn’t live past high school. Rachel tells us about that day -- how they went from being a "normal family" to being a "special needs family."  A few years later, just as the family was regaining a sense of normalcy, their daughter was diagnosed with an even rarer disease, Kawasaki Disease. Rachel and her husband felt a calling with DMD, their family was uniquely positioned to make an impact, but Kawasaki Disease progressed rapidly and if it had not been diagnosed and treated, could have ended the life of their daughter within 24 hours. This was rock bottom. What I found particularly insightful about this story was Rachel and James’ commitment to remaining aligned and supportive to one another as husband and wife. They gave each other space to grieve separately, but they were always together. Their relationship feels extraordinary to me. The Poysky family certainly answered the call. Dr. Poysky has been instrumental in a medical leadership role serving on national boards and authoring papers. And with Rachel’s brother Brad Todd, they created the non-profit Coach To Cure MD, a partnership between the American Football Coaches Association (AFCA), a professional organization for over 10,000 college and high school football coaches and staff, and Parent Project Muscular Dystrophy, the largest national charity devoted exclusively to Duchenne muscular dystrophy.  EPISODE SUMMARY The story starts with Rachel first learning from her husband, Dr. James Poysky, that her son had been diagnosed with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD) At the time, her husband had been a neurosphychologist and suspected that it could be DMD because he had seen it in children before DMD is the most common fatal genetic disorder of childhood, but it’s still a rare disease since it affects less than 200,000 people Duchenne primarily affects boys but women can be carriers; and it can be spontaneous (genetic mutation) as was the case with Rachel’s family Rachel shares the “language of Duchenne” which is this entirely new vocabulary that comes with the territory of rare diseases It also means talking to your children about the disease so they have the “tools and knowledge to function” A week after the diagnosis, Rachel and her husband aligned on their purpose, that they were meant to join the Duchenne fight Two weeks after the diagnosis they aligned on the priorities that still guide their family to this day Rachel’s daughter Hallie was diagnosed with an even rarer disease, Kawasaki Disease A special needs family starts out in “survival mode” but Rachel consciously made the decision to live life with her family Rachel is an expert in grieving and discusses the idea that people don’t grieve and can’t be expected to grieve in the same way Rachel discusses the origins of CoachtoCureMD.org, the charity they created to help raise funds and awareness for DMD QUOTABLES “And it's almost that moment when I pulled into the driveway, I didn't even have to ask the question why he was there at 3:00 in the afternoon. And I walked up to the door and he met me at the door. And I just said, "Is it that?" And he said "Yes." And I said, "The really bad kind?" And he said, "Yes." And that was a moment when we went from being a normal family to a special needs family, just all of a sudden.”  “They're missing dystrophin which, this is simplistic, and a doctor would probably be horrified that I explained it this way, but basically dystrophin is the glue that hold your muscles together. And when you...

Now a mama to 10 kiddos, Laura Hernandez faced and met the overwhelming challenges when her family added three adopted children that would all eventually be diagnosed with intellectual delay (mental retardation) and fetal alcohol syndrome. After consulting friends and books and still not having the answers she needed, Laura created her own systems to manage the chaos and bring peace to her household. Laura realized a need for other mother’s facing similar challenges and started MamaSystems.net, a suite of coaching services, systems and tools to help families bring peace to their home. EPISODE SUMMARY Our story begins with Laura first learning that all three of the children that her family had adopted would ultimately be diagnosed with intellectual delay (formerly known as mental retardation) and fetal alcohol syndrome Laura and her husband adopted Andrew (4), Matthew (2 ½) and Hannah (18 mos.) after a long trial of first fostering Andrew, developing a relationship with the biological mother and her partner, and ultimately adopting all three siblings into their large family (5 biological children at the time) The overwhelm of adding three new “buddies” into the family was stressful, increasing the chaos and noise but also deeply relieving knowing that the kids were all safe and being taking care of “Ok Laura, you can do this,” was how most daily pep talks started For a long time there was distance, a feeling like the three adopted kiddos were strangers Special care and attention had to be given to the biological kids so their needs were met Tony, Laura’s husband, was able to work from home Faith has played a huge role in Laura’s decision to adopt (many signs from God) and carries her through difficult times The kiddos do feel attached now Part II opens back up with the diagnosis as both a moment of realizing the children would be dependent on them for the rest of their lives but also relief in finding out what was wrong This pattern of importance of the ‘diagnosis’ continues to emerge in our stories of a parent with children with special needs After reading book after book and still not having answers, Laura created systems to manage the chaos and bring peace to her household She founded Mama Systems, a coaching practice for mama’s and families in similarly overwhelming situations Laura has never regretted it -- it’s an obedience and commitment thing for her   QUOTABLES “I would just lay in bed at night wondering if they were safe, if they're being taken care of, if they had eaten that day. And now I knew that they were safe, and that they had been fed and had full bellies, and they were loved on, and nothing was going to happen in that room, like it was in my power. Nothing was gonna happen to them. They were gonna be safe in there.”  “And I think even today, when we have really hard days, that's what gets me through, because they can be really, really hard kids. And it can feel hard to love them, and it can feel hard to just keep going and being their Mama. But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this is what we were called to do.”  “And no book I read could fit all of our things in a nutshell, which was really frustrating at the time, because I'd read a book, and I'd be like I really like this, but you're acting like we're at home all day and don't have people coming in and out every five minutes. So it was just very tricky to find something that fit for our family. So I finally just kind of stopped reading everything, stopped listening to everything. And I said, ‘You know what? I just need to prioritize what's important to us and schedule our lives so that it works for us.’”  “‘OK, we can do this, we can thrive as a family. We've got this.’ And feeling confident in that and feeling confident as a Mama to all these people. And then shifting into not only that, but I think that I could help other people. I feel like that's that's the moment where you're like, ‘OK, I've...

Sharon Eisenhauer had to heal the wound of her relationship with her own mother before she could break out of the mold of motherhood to find joy in her relationship with her adopted daughter. Sharon and her wife adopted their daughter and divorced a few years later. The relationship between Sharon and her daughter was joyous but also challenging and confrontational and she couldn't understand why. Sharon went to figure it out beginning a process of self-discovery and healing of her own childhood wounds with her own mother. Through distance and discipline, self-love and self-preservation, Sharon can now cherish her daughter because she cherishes herself first. EPISODE SUMMARY Our story begins in 2004 when Sharon and her former wife adopt a baby girl from Japan The first nine months were both joyful and hellish and when Sharon’s former wife would travel for work, she felt both abandoned and being left to care for another child Sharon never wanted to be a mother - at least not with the tools she was carrying But at the age of 42, both Sharon and her wife felt like they could raise a child together and that it was the next right thing to do A few years later, Sharon and her former wife get a divorce which yields a 50/50 child responsibility role  Sharon talks about things she “should do” as a mother like writing little notes in her daughter’s lunchbox and attending PTA meetings -- all things that felt unnatural A book by Dr. Christiane Northrup called Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom (https://amzn.to/2VoX2HZ (https://amzn.to/2VoX2HZ)) ultimately gave Sharon relief to drop so much of the guilt and shame she was carrying because she was not the mother society pressures her to be It takes a village to raise a child Sharon was in a new relationship with a man she called her “good Dad” Her daughter entering her teen years proved particularly challenging as Sharon further realized she wasn’t “the parent” or “the loving guide” Sharon decides that she needs to move and put distance between her and her daughter to reconnect with herself This space reinforced Sharon’s resolve to stand on her own, in her truth, to heal her past and what happened between her own mother and her In time, the healing process transforms Sharon and her relationship with her daughter improves Sharon can cherish her daughter because she cherishes herself   QUOTABLES “Well, the first formative nine months were pure hell. Our daughter, she was a joy, and she didn't sleep through the night.”  “I didn't recognize it at the time, but in the dynamic between my partner and myself, I was essentially the child. And so when she would leave, on an unconscious level, it felt as though, number one, I was being abandoned. And number two, I was being abandoned in the care of yet another child. So it was a child being left to take care of a child, even though I was 40-some years old.”  “Challenging. Confrontational. Heart-breaking. Joyful. Delightful.”  “It was almost as though the the poison had infected her. The poison of this feeling of not being lovable, of not being worthy of receiving love.”  “Well, when I was trying to be that mother, that society tells us we should be, that writes the lovely little notes in the lunchbox, and that makes late night snacks for her slumber parties, and hosts play dates, and does PTA and hosts the Girl Scout meetings, and all of those things, I thought I should be those things. I didn't know that there was any other concept of how to be a mother.And when I heard that, it gave me such a feeling of permission and it allowed me to drop away so much of the guilt and the shame I had been carrying about not being able to be the kind of mother that society told me I was supposed to be. . And coming back to the idea of it taking a village, it truly does, because to put all of that responsibility on one or two people is way beyond what we should have to carry.”  “She was coming into her teen...

The day after Mother’s Day in 1988, Charlotte's only daughter, Ja’Mee, was murdered at the age of 13 in a case of mistaken identity by five gang members. Then again in 1996, Charlotte’s 25 year-old son Corey was also killed by gang members who thought his blue work uniform represented a rival gang’s colors. Indeed Charlotte was dealt poison but made medicine going on a mission to first ensure that Ja’Mee’s killers met justice, then working through all levels of government to change criminal justice laws, notably being the catalyst and driver for the Victim’s Impact Statement which humanizes a victim at sentencing and California’s Three-Strikes Law. Charlotte has been a beacon of hope and love for her community, providing direct support and care to mothers who had lost children due to homicide; and hundreds of children consider her their mother, too. Charlotte addressed the root of the problem by creating a jobs programs for young at-risk youth to get off the streets and find meaningful work in the community.  EPISODE SUMMARY Our story begins in Los Angeles in 1988 Charlotte was a single mom to five children; four boys and one daughter Charlotte worked hard to make sure the family had dinner together every Sunday and maintaining a strong foundation for them as a single mom It was the day after Mother's Day in 1988 when Ja'Mee was killed Charlotte was preparing food for her youngest children when she heard multiple gunshots Physically she felt something drop from her - she believes it was Ja’Mee’s life leaving her body Ja'Mee and her friend Nikki had been killed by 5 gang members who had thought the two girls were the sister of a rival drug dealer that had duped them earlier Ja’Mee was hit 15 times with bullets including one through her head At the time, “drive by shootings” wasn’t a legal offense so the five murderers were being charged under a lesser misdemeanor crime that had a likely sentence of 18-months The death of Ja’Mee triggered a series of changes including having to find new homes for her foster children, fearing black men in her community, and losing her job; Charlotte’s life became a mission to represent her daughter and get justice In 1996, her son Corey was killed by gang members that thought he was wearing rival gang colors; Corey was wearing his work uniform In court, Charlotte’s daughter was referred to not by her name, but as her ‘toe tag’ which is assigned in the morgue; there was also no ‘victims impact statement’ where Charlotte could tell the jury who her daughter was, what her dreams were Charlotte is the catalyst and driver of several major criminal justice laws that are common today, including: Victims Impact Statement and Three Strikes Law Through loss she gained so much from the community - but she still misses her babies   QUOTABLES “So I built a strong foundation for [my children], even though I was single." “I got up and I went to the stove and I started preparing, warming up the meal that I had already prepared for the babies. And I heard all of this gunfire. And while I was standing at the stove, it was like a really strange feeling, like I had dropped something. And I always say it was her soul. It was like something fell for me. And I started looking for it to see what that was. at the funeral home, they said Ja'Mee had defensive wounds, and I didn't know what that was. They needed gloves. And the defensive wounds just because she saw them, and she put her hands up for protection. But that day was a horrible, horrible day for me. My only daughter. I had dreams, I was preparing for her to be a young woman, 18, the debutante balls, the classes, wanting her to be groomed, all of those things, and the life that I did not experience, I wanted to help her to be able to experience those things. And they cheated me. They cheated me. You know, it's 30 years, and it gets better, but it doesn't go away. I still miss my daughter.” “Laws, we did not have any laws on...

Each Belly of the Beast Life Story illustrates the nature of transformation through the story of a real person. Season 2 is curated by the theme - For Love of My Child. All stories are by parents who have faced and overcome the unimaginable for the unconditional love of their child. We are still gathering stories to include in Season 2 which will start releasing in the near future. If you have a story to share, reach out to us via inourbelly.com. ~ Beyond the Belly ~ We have launched our next show - Beyond the Belly. In this show, I'll take you beyond any one individual Belly story to examine the overall patterns of transformation. I'll be joined by expert friends of mine who I personally know and trust to give us their wisdom. My goal is to help you live an even fuller life by being ever mindful of life's transitions. Subscribe to Beyond the Belly wherever you get your podcasts. And please rate and review the show so that other heroes can find it, too. http://inourbelly.com

Artie Wu dives into his personal transformation to become a a master healer to more than 120,000 folks around the world. In one of the clearest examples I've heard, Artie describes what 'healing' is, why it helps folks live a fuller life, and his vision for a healed world. Wisdom for our Soul, Courage for your Journey. In Belly, we share our extraordinary life stories of personal transformation to illustrate the nature of personal transformation. Beyond helps us go beyond personal stories to comprehend the overall pattern of transformation. EPISODE SUMMARY – Artie shares his “own phases as a caterpillar” and his transformation journey to find his bliss as a healer – David asks an important question: "what is healing?" – We stuff parts of who we are down into the Belly – and healing is the act of going down to recover that lost part of you   – Artie connects how most will refuse the “call” to recover this part of who they are and then life magically “puts them through the tumble cycle” to reconcile with that part of them in the belly – Pain from a traumatic experience, like getting hit hard on the football field and crying has a secondary and deeper wound when the boy is in the car getting screamed at by his dad for crying and that “boys don’t cry” – What is “following your bliss” and why it’s so crucial for you right now QUOTABLES “You know, I’ve went through my own phases of being a caterpillar. Jumping through the hoops of going to the right schools and doing sort of industry work and professional stuff that would be acceptable to the expectations that I had coding in my own mind and heart.” “So the quick view of how I think about healing is that within every single one of us as we go through life. There will be parts of us that are valid, genuine card carrying parts of who we actually are as people just as we’re born. That we will feel are unacceptable to the world around us. And that’s an issue. An extreme if I’m in a society where being, say, divorced or homosexual or whatever will cost me my life because I could be executed under the law of that country, then if this is part of me that is like my sexual orientation or my religious affiliation could cause me to die or be killed, then that’s a part of me if I want to survive that, I have to stuff down.” “And where you’ve stuffed that part of you is down in the belly, down in the deepest level of Guantanamo prison. And it can be argued that – healing is basically the act of going down into the lowest levels of the prison to recover that lost part of yourself.” “And so there’s a sort of mysterious connection between healing as this whole natural process, this spontaneous process, if you will, of going into the belly of the beast that we all experience. I don’t believe there’s any master sort of torturer triggering all these things — it happens from our biology; Like a bird builds a nest and it’s beautiful.” “That is where that road leads you is to finding and following your bliss. The thing you love to do natively even before you were born for no good reason. But when you follow it, you know it makes you happy. It unlocks all this power in you. It also, in hindsight, ends up being like you realized the meaning of purpose in your life. The reason why you’re on the planet in the first place. And as a happy byproduct, it rains down blessing on the life of the world around you.” GUEST RESOURCES Artie Wu’s healing center: http://bit.ly/presidelife (http://bit.ly/presidelife) Facebook community: http://bit.ly/PresideFB (http://bit.ly/PresideFB) On Instagram: http://bit.ly/artieIG (http://bit.ly/artieIG)   ENABLE OUR MISSION Your podcast is a sacred space and judgment free zone. It's free of advertising and outside influence -- 100% listener supported. A podcast where you can feel safe to listen and know that you're not alone. Transformation is scary, but not a single butterfly has ever attempted to climb back into the

This story reveals the overall pattern of transformation — the secret recipe of each personal Belly of the Beast Life Story. Once you hear the pattern - you’ll see it coming up in our podcast and with those around you. Wisdom for our Soul, Courage for your Journey. In Belly, we share our extraordinary life stories of personal transformation to illustrate the nature of personal transformation. Beyond helps us go beyond personal stories to comprehend the overall pattern of transformation.    EPISODE SUMMARY – The first stage of transformation is ‘forced change’ which is the event which triggers the process of transformation – We use Dr. Julian Gold’s diagnosis of cancer (Season 1, Episode 2) where he was diagnosed and days later was in the hospital for treatment – A health event is one category of forced change that “truly cannot be stuffed down anymore” – In the actual forced event itself — and in your own forced change in your life — understand the overall meaning in the event itself – Allegory versus symbol; rise above why it’s happening and understand that it is happening and how will you respond to it – From forced change, the caterpillar goes into the cocoon stage, and we use an excerpt from Chip Conley’s story (Season 1, Episode 13) to illustrate the “dark, gooey stage” of life – Jobi Manson’s story(Season 1, Episode 11) illustrates the role of surrender as the final stage before climbing up into being a butterfly – Holocaust survivor Martha Sternbach’s story (Season 1, Episode 1) of erupting as a butterfly 50 years after the Holocaust ended is our example of emergence - Climbing Up  QUOTABLES “The question that’s more interesting and relevant to me and ultimately helpful in my experience is what is the overall meaning of this event [forced change that leads to transformation]?”  “The true transformative surrender is always forced. It always feels forced. If you willingly do it and try to maintain control, it’s not quite the real thing.”  “So when that transformation happens… Your narrative about your self changes. And then you, in your essence, also change.” GUEST RESOURCES Artie Wu’s healing center: http://bit.ly/presidelife (http://bit.ly/presidelife) Facebook community: http://bit.ly/PresideFB (http://bit.ly/PresideFB) On Instagram: http://bit.ly/artieIG (http://bit.ly/artieIG) ENABLE OUR MISSION Your podcast is a sacred space and judgment free zone. It's free of advertising and outside influence -- 100% listener supported. A podcast where you can feel safe to listen and know that you're not alone. Transformation is scary, but not a single butterfly has ever attempted to climb back into the cocoon. To keep us advertising free and support our mission to heal, inspire and shape lives with extraordinary personal life stories, chip-in $5 a month at https://www.bellystory.com/support/ (BellyStory.com/support). Thank you for listening. Warmly, David All Creator, Storyteller, Producer   CO-CREATE OUR PODCAST To submit your story, sign-up for new episode emails, contact us or support our mission with a donation, visit: https://www.bellystory.com (BellyStory.com)